power Archives - One of Many

How to live life on your own terms

February 20, 2020 By Joanna Martin

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Joanna Martin

Founder at One of many

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Recognising how lucky we are

Discrimination, inequality and massive imabalances in power are very real, even in today’s world. And yet, there are many choices we’re able to make as women that would have been unthinkable for our mothers, grandmothers, and generations before them.

I loved hearing Michelle Williams acknowledge this at the Golden Globes 2020. She said:

"I’m grateful for the acknowledgment of the choices I’ve made, and I’m also grateful to have lived at a moment in our society where choice exists...
I’ve tried my very best to live a life of my own making and not just a series of events that happened to me, but one that I can stand back and look at and recognize my handwriting all over, sometimes messy and scrawling, sometimes careful and precise, but one that I carved with my own hand."

Now, if you’re rolling your eyes a little, I get it. A Hollywood actress, receiving a glittering award at a fancy event… it’s easy to feel like she’s got it all sorted.

As though it’s easy to talk about “choice” when you’re wealthy and privileged.

And yet most of us are extremely fortunate to also have choices. If you’ve received an education, have access to clean water and healthcare, and are able to make fundamental decisions about contraception, finances and marriage, you’re better off than millions of women around the world.

So why do we end up feeling like we’re stuck?

Gratitude for your good fortune is one thing. And then there's the daily reality – bills to pay, kids to wrangle, relationships to navigate, jobs to do.

Sure, we might have more freedom than many, many other women throughout history. But it's also very normal to feel as though right now, today, you don't have an awful lot of say in the demands being made of you.

At One of many we use “archetypes” to explore common patterns of being that show up in the lives of many women.

As well as the 5 Women’s PowerTypes, our models of powerful feminine leadership, we also see 3 “disempowering archetypes” show up.

These can help you understand what’s happening at those times when it doesn’t feel as though you’re living life on your own terms.

We often feel powerless when...

We’re in “victim” mode: We feel helpless, and as though we can’t do anything to change the situation we’re in.

We’re in “martyr” mode. This is the archetype of the woman who sacrifices everything for others, and never has the space to give to her own needs or desires.

We’re in “bitch” mode. This is where our pent up anger and resentment comes out, and we lash out at those around us (yes, often with the people we love most).

How do you find your way back to the life you want?

If these disempowering archetypes help us understand why we’re feeling boxed in or lacking in power, the Women’s PowerTypes are a framework that allow us to connect to the choices we do have in ay given moment.

These might be as simple as the choices you have about how to respond to a situation. The details you notice, the lessons you take, or the aspects you choose to let go of.

We become conscious of our choices when…

We get to know ourselves. We start to explore what we want, what makes us feel good, what our fears and patterns are. This might be through journaling, talking to a trusted friend or coach, or taking time out regularly without an agenda to enjoy some space that’s just for us.

We give ourselves permission. We allow ourselves to (shock, horror!) do things that are only for us, not for anyone else. If you’re someone who spends their time making other people’s lives easier, this can be a truly radical step.

We get support. At One of many we believe that collaboration is key to changing the kind of world we live in. When we support each other and share our journeys, we’re all able to thrive and grow further than we ever could by ourselves.

Do you want to live life on your terms?

At One of many we’ve developed a specific set of tools to help women find their power and take control of their lives. And our mission is to get those tools into the hands of as many women as possible.

Would you like to be part of this turning tide?

Take a look at Living the Change – our groundbreaking community providing the support, community and tools you need to create the life you want.

Click here to find out more.

You’ll find out what makes our approach so different, and how it’s helping women around the world live life on their own terms.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

Guest blog: What menopause means

September 12, 2019 By Alexandra Pope

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Alexandra Pope

Alexandra Pope is co-director of Red School and co-author of the iconic and hugely celebrated book from Hay House, Wild Power: discover the magic of the menstrual cycle and awaken the feminine path to power.

Together with colleague and co-author, Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer, she teaches a radical new approach to women’s health and wellbeing; creativity and leadership; and spiritual life based on the power of our menstruality consciousness.

With a background in teaching, psychotherapy and hypnotherapy and drawing on 40 years collective experience pioneering this emerging field of menstruality, they offer workshops, online courses, training and coaching worldwide based on the power of the menstrual cycle, and the developmental journey from menarche to menopause. Find out more at www.redschool.net

Latest posts by Alexandra Pope (see all)

Guest blog: What menopause means - September 12, 2019

“Menopause is an opportunity”. Let’s be honest, if you ask most people what menopause means, you won’t often hear that said!

For those of you in menopause right now, you may either be scratching your head wondering what I am on… or throwing epithets of rage at me.

Bear with me!

What menopause means: a different way of thinking about “The Change”

I am not discounting the very real suffering that too many of us experience when we begin to go through the menopause.

However, I believe there is also something very powerful trying to happen at menopause. If you know how to connect with that, menopause can be experienced as a path that supports you to refine and hone who you truly are. And therein lies great freedom.

Menopause is an ending, a death process in short. Your body and soul go through a transformation, and like the caterpillar going into the cocoon, as you enter menopause you go to ‘mush’ first.

Much of the powerful emotion that can emerge at menopause is connected to feelings that can emerge with ‘endings’. You are shedding who you think you are and for awhile may have no idea what it is that you want, or even who you are. You are left feeling psychologically exposed. This is all normal and it is the prelude to waking up to what you are truly about.

This is the opportunity of menopause – the opportunity to know and accept yourself deeply.

To help harness this opportunity, you have two particular superpowers that awaken at menopause very strongly:

1. Inner knowing

As you start to let go into menopause, you will notice the veils fall from your eyes. By that I mean you will suddenly feel, sense, see and know things that you didn’t or couldn’t before.

You’ll know things that you need to do, however difficult or challenging. You’ll just know and can’t argue with them! You have both a deep instinctual knowing and can really see-through both yourself and the illusions of society, particularly all the subtle and not so subtle ways that patriarchy operates. A true ‘emperor’s got no clothes’ moment.

And you’ll have zero tolerance for it!

2. The power of No

You may well find yourself saying No to just about everything.

This is not ‘being negative’, it is about you knowing what is no longer relevant, what you do not want in your life. Be heartened by the words of Warren Buffet who said that ‘the really successful person says NO to practically everything’ and harness this force.

It’s helping you to clear the ground of all those things that aren’t really you anymore, or no longer float your boat, even as you might, for instance, be really good at a certain job.

This process can also include a literal clearing of stuff and people from your life. Some relationships bite the dust at this point. In clearing the ground you create space for something new to emerge or for what is most essential or important in you to flourish. You will find this voice of ‘No’ is uncompromising. But remember:

Behind the No lies a great and powerful Yes to yourself.

The shadow side of your new power

Like all powers, these energies have their shadow side. If you are not sufficiently mindful and self caring, the inner sight and knowing can simply be experienced as overwhelm, grief or rage (the latter two may happen regardless, but you don’t want to get stuck there). And the ‘No’ power can simply come out as reactivity, irritation, frustration and anger.

To activate these powers in a wholesome way you need time and space for yourself. Time and space for yourself are the commodities most often in short supply. You may be someone who still has children at home, elderly parents to care for, a demanding job or any combination of these. In other words, someone who has precious little time for yourself.

But here’s the rub, the one thing that your soul demands of you at menopause is time and space for you.

Time to simply be, with no responsibility for anyone.

Without it you will feel as though you are going mad, with it you will start to slowly and quietly feel the order and meaning of this powerful life transition get to work.

So how are you going to get it?

Here are 4 powerful ways to begin to embrace what menopause means, and tap into the deep well of power that is waiting to be drawn on.

1. Be aware of what is happening

Consciously name what is happening to yourself, metaphorically turn and face the change and greet it with dignity.

2. Recognise that some things will need to change

Be kind to yourself – cut yourself some slack. Do not hold the same expectations that you would normally have of yourself. No more ‘going the extra mile’ for anybody. What you do and who you are will still be enough. You need your energy for yourself now.

3. Start small

Give yourself microdoses, or one percent, of sacred time for yourself with plentiful doses of silence, and no, emphatically, no ‘to do ‘ lists or demands on yourself.

One percent is always doable. It may not be perfect but it’s something and you will begin to feel moments of relief coming into the system. Schedule it in. It might be no more than half an hour at first, but it’s all yours. Sacrosanct. The more you taste it, the easier it will be to claim. You’ll get ruthless with your schedule as you wield that ‘No’ power!

4. Write it out

Keep a journal to hand to help you drop your bundle – sometimes writing everything that’s in you head is a way of slowing down and putting the stuff of the world to one side temporarily.

And as you let go, your inner life starts to speak…emotions, feelings, memories, realisation, revelations emerge. You might feel you want to note some of that. It’s your call. I impose no rules on you in your alone time.

Menopause: A time to come home to yourself

Think of menopause as an opportunity to truly come home to yourself, get some deep rest and repair, and receive utter clarity about who you are and what you truly want. This is the recipe for experiencing a deeply creative and meaningful post menopause life.

Want to learn more about the power of menopause?

If this article has seeded something in you, and you’d like encouragement and support from a like-minded group of women as you undergo this powerful transition, we invite you to check out our online programme, “Menopause: The Great Awakener”. To find out more and listen to a free introductory webinar on the topic, click here: www.redschoolmenopause.com

About Alexandra

Alexandra Pope is co-director of Red School and co-author of the iconic and hugely celebrated book from Hay House, Wild Power: discover the magic of the menstrual cycle and awaken the feminine path to power.

Together with colleague and co-author, Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer, she teaches a radical new approach to women’s health and wellbeing; creativity and leadership; and spiritual life based on the power of our menstruality consciousness.

With a background in teaching, psychotherapy and hypnotherapy and drawing on 40 years collective experience pioneering this emerging field of menstruality, they offer workshops, online courses, training and coaching worldwide based on the power of the menstrual cycle, and the developmental journey from menarche to menopause. Find out more at
www.redschool.net

One of many Voices: Mary Waring

March 5, 2019 By Joanna Martin

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Joanna Martin

Founder at One of many

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Hi Mary! Tell us what you do, in a nutshell

I work with women going through divorce to help them feel confident about their finances, giving them clarity and peace of mind.

Give us the “big why” you feel called to do this work:

My mother was in a very unhappy marriage and couldn’t leave because she had no money in her own right. I saw the power that money, and knowledge about your money, gives you. It doesn’t necessarily make you happy. But it gives you options that may not be available to you otherwise.

What does your daily routine look like?

I love a nice lazy start to the morning with tea in bed, and my 2 spoilt springer spaniels allowed up on the bed. It gives me a good start to the day without frantically rushing around from the start. I have breakfast (always) & then start work around 8 am.

I take time off during the day to take a dog walk by the river/ go to the gym, and usually work till about 6 pm. Then it’s some form of relaxation: bath/gym/ dinner with friends

What demands do you balance every day in conjunction with your work?

I balance running a demanding, successful business versus taking some downtime for myself.

I find it too easy to pour all my energy into work and then realise I haven’t looked after myself enough.

How do you feel about women’s “lot” these days?

It’s important to get as much help as you can. I delegate or outsource as much as possible so I can then have free time to actually do the things I want to. It makes such a difference to my enjoyment that I am not doing things I don’t enjoy. It also means I’m not doing things that drain my energy, and I don’t end up feeling resentful about the things I’m doing.

How do femininity and Soft Power feature in your business/ career?

When I first did my Women’s PowerTypes Profile, I discovered that my scores on the Queen and Lover PowerTypes were very low for me.

Because I found it challenging to access my “Queen” PowerType, I didn’t set good boundaries with the people around me. I was very much set on being a people pleaser, and keeping everyone else happy – sometimes at my own expense.

My Lover score was low for a similar reason. I was too busy spending my time and energy on others, rather than on taking good care of myself.

Since completing the 12-month Lead the Change program with One of many I’ve been able to not only understand why I had experienced the challenges I did, but take steps to find more balance, and address these issues in a sustainable way.

What is the most common emotion you feel on a day-to-day basis?

On the good days, sheer joy, delight and gratitude that I have the life I have, and that I can experience the growth I can through personal development.

Do you think you people around you (on social media, and face to face) understand who you authentically are?

On social media, probably not. I read posts but don’t often contribute, since I find social media can be too big a time stealer!

But face to face, yes, absolutely. You get what you see.

How important do you think vulnerability is in life and career?

I think it’s really important to be open and honest – to ask for help when you need it, and open up if you have queries or issues. I’ve been vulnerable in meetings when I haven’t known the answer to a question that a client has asked me. I just admitted it and said I’d find out and get back to them. To me, being honest and vulnerable instead of pretending to have all the answers is much more important than just bluffing. Apart from anything, you will often get caught out!

What do you do for SoftPlay? How do you look after yourself?

To be honest, I haven’t done anywhere near as much Soft Play as I would like. Last year I did some things to get me outside my comfort zone – like having dinner on my own, and going to the theatre on my own. I also took singing lessons, which was a big deal – highly uncomfortable for someone who believed they couldn’t sing!

This year I’m concentrating on doing things to have fun. I’m going to do classes in aerial hoop, aerial Pilates, and try pottery.

How do you juggle your relationship and business?

My husband and I both work from home. So, on good days we can go out for dog walk together, or have lunch.

If not, we will at least generally have some form of communication during the day. I’m also planning to set aside a minimum of one working day each month that we both take off so that we can go out and have some fun.

How do you think tapping into your femininity (playing to your strengths as a woman), has impacted your relationships?

Prior to Lead The Change, my only PowerType was Superwoman! I see now how totally off-putting that can be in many situations. It’s great to be able to use the different PowerTypes as and when required.

My clients are almost exclusively women in difficult emotional situations. So all of the different Women’s PowerTypes come into play at various stages of our working relationship, and help us to achieve the results my clients want with much more ease.

What’s one “breakthrough” you have had in your life, that shifted the way you saw things – how did it impact those around you?

I’ve gone from being Superwoman, having to win and achieve at all costs, to now concentrating on enjoying my experiences and having fun. I expect I’m much easier to live with! Since Superwoman also tended to want everyone else around her to have superpowers, too…

Who do you look up to as a woman?

So many of the beautiful women I’ve met on Lead The Change who’ve faced their issues, and come out the other side shining.

What are your sources of inspiration?

Same as above! I look at these women, and think “if they can do it, so can I”

What do you tell yourself when times are tough?

Although it can be very hard sometimes, I concentrate on the fact the Universe/God knows what’s best for you. You might not think it at the time, but it is all part of a divine plan.

What’s the soundtrack of inspiration for you?

“This is me” from Greatest Showman

Who have you listened to lately that motivated you to take action on something, anything? And why?

I love Jo’s Soft PowerCast on “your body is your compass”. It reminds me I have all the answers inside myself as to what’s right for me.

(If you’d like to listen to this and the other Soft Powercasts, you can access them at no cost when you join the BeOne community. Click here to enter your details and access this and a ton of other resources, absolutely free.)

What are you doing to help elevate the women of developing nations?

I’m a patron for The Hunger Project, who help to end poverty and hunger in developing nations by empowering women to change their communities.

About Mary

Recovering superwoman | Dog obsessed | Never too old to change

Mary is a chartered accountant and chartered financial planner – one of only a handful of advisers in the whole of the UK with these qualifications. She’s passionate about changing the way women think about finance, so that they are better equipped to make informed decisions about their future.

You can find Mary online at the following links:

Twitter: @marywaring

Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/marywaring

Website: www.wealthforwomen.biz

Guest blog: Should I leave my job?

November 29, 2018 By Jane Lewis

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Jane Lewis

Dr Jane Lewis has over 20 years’ experience as a coach, including working as a career coach. She’s an ordained Interfaiths Minister and her passion is helping women find their purpose and direction, and then release the mental baggage that stops them achieving it. Twice a year she goes to Hawai’i to teach and study Huna – the spiritual, energetic and shamanistic practices of the ancient Hawai’ians. Find out more at https://secretartofhuna.com.

Why you might want to leave your job

The first question I always ask clients is: why do you want to leave your job?

Because you’re unhappy?
You want to start your own business?
You aren’t paid enough?
The people are OK, and they don’t treat you badly, but it doesn’t really fire you up?
You’re not being given the opportunities you want?

Depending on the answer, my advice will change.

However, there are a few cases where the answer is fairly clear.

If you are thinking of leaving your job because you’re planning to set up your own business, my advice generally is to stay in your job until you’ve got your new business running and starting to pay you an income. Of course, that isn’t always possible, but financially it can make the transition so much easier.

If you feel you’re underpaid, or not being given the promotions and opportunities you deserve, then, assuming you are otherwise happy, the first step is to have a conversation with your boss.

At One of many we talk about ‘having a conversation from your Queen’: stepping in to your Queen powertype, and making your point in a drama-free, powerful fashion.

But what if you’re unhappy, or over-stressed or feeling demotivated?

One of the techniques I invite my clients to use is to identify their career values to see how far the job is satisfying those values.

Our values provide motivation at a very deep, unconscious level. If your career values aren’t being satisfied in your current job, then it is highly likely that you will struggle with motivation and with performing at your best.

Values are abstract, and they are the product of our life experience together with our early conditioning. So if your family put a high value on professionalism, you might well find you do the same.

Your values are key to making any big decision

One client of mine worked in an engineering environment where the money and benefits were OK, and the people were pleasant. The work was challenging, although it wasn’t exactly the area that my client enjoyed the most. It was all OK, but something was not quite right and my client couldn’t pin down what that was.

We did a value exercise and time with family came out in the top 5. The job involved a relatively long commute, and as a result of doing the exercise my client realised that this value was not being met, and this was the reason they were not content.

The client used their list of values as criteria for evaluating job adverts, and soon found a job nearer home, with less travel and more money. Within a year they had been promoted to Director, which was an unexpected bonus!

How to find your values

The process is as follows: ask yourself ‘what’s important to me about my career (or job)?’ You are looking for single words or very short phrases that you can’t put in a wheelbarrow. Abstract nouns; words like:

job-satisfaction
professionalism
growth
challenge
fun

Keep going until you have at least 8, but don’t worry if you end up with 15 or 16.

Once you have your list, put them in order of importance, based on the way things are right now. The most important values will be those on which you spend the most time and energy.

Then, looking at the top 5-8, for each value, ask yourself: ‘how far does my current job satisfy this value?’ You can use a scale of 1-10 or a percentage scale.

If your job doesn’t satisfy any of your values, or only satisfies a few values more or less, it may well be time to move, or at least have a serious conversation with your employers about how things need to change.

That’s the exact process I used with my client. It’s such a great tool for clarifying your thinking around your job options.

Need help making a big decision?

If you’d like some support to work through the system yourself, you can find a One of many certified coach trained in helping women explore their values using the online coach directory. Click here to find the right coach for you.

About Jane Lewis

Coach, Minister, Huna practitioner

When boundaries don’t work

September 6, 2018 By Joanna Martin

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Joanna Martin

Founder at One of many

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

What are boundaries?

I think Brené Brown has the simplest definition I’ve seen:

“Boundaries are simply: what’s okay and what’s not okay.”

It’s a great way to look at boundaries. They’re your way of defining what you need to be at your best.

You can create boundaries around all sorts of things – your needs, your time, your relationships. But what happens when someone crosses them, or you need to change them?

When boundaries don’t work

There are a few different reasons why boundaries might not work. Sometimes we’re all too aware of the problem; other times, we’re called to pay closer attention to subtle signs. Do any of these feel relevant to you, right now?

When people ignore a boundary

Sometimes it’s really obvious that a boundary just isn’t being respected.

You’ve made it clear that you need to know when your friend’s going to pop round, and yet she keeps rocking up unexpectedly.

You’ve made the boundary clear, and the other person isn’t honouring that. Time for an important conversation – below, I’ll give you a process for exactly how to do it.

When you need to make a new boundary

This one can be a lot more subtle to spot. How do you know when a new boundary is needed?

One of the big giveaways that it’s time to take a closer look at the boundaries in your life is anger.

Perhaps a colleague keeps handing over tasks that you really don’t enjoy doing, or your partner’s expecting you to pick up the slack when they get lost in a new project.

If you’re finding yourself losing your temper, or noticing feelings of resentment or frustration bubbling up, it’s probably time to look at your boundaries again.

When your boundary clashes with someone else’s

One of the trickiest situations we have to deal with is one where our boundaries clash with someone else’s. So you come across a colleague who’s been working on their assertiveness, but it seems as though you’re expected to deal with the fallout of the tasks they’ll no longer tolerate.

Or maybe your Mum has a strict boundary around Christmas being just for family. Your friend’s going through a really rough patch, and you know you don’t want her to spend the day alone.

Could be your boss, your kids, or your parents – realizing that your boundary contradicts or infringes on theirs is always complicated.

So how do we deal with situations when our boundaries just don’t seem to work?

Is it selfish to have boundaries?

Now, for a lot of us – especially when we’re fairly new to setting boundaries – it can be tempting to wonder if the energy it takes to maintain them really worth it.

It could be a big one: You’ve told your partner that you can’t be in a relationship with someone who drinks so much they’re not in control any more.

Or something minor, but still important: You can’t drop everything, yet again, because your sister’s too disorganised to finish work on time.

From awkward conversations to tough decisions like leaving a job or relationship, upholding a boundary can feel like more trouble than it’s worth. After all, you’re a nice person – you hate letting people down – and the last thing you want to do is introduce conflict.

Are boundaries selfish?

Let’s return to Brené Brown, whose groundbreaking work on vulnerability has changed the way many of us relate to boundaries. She says

“One of the most shocking findings of my work was the idea that the most compassionate people I have interviewed over the last 13 years were also the absolutely most boundaried…
What I think that [a lot of us] do is that we don’t set boundaries.
We let people do things that are not okay or get away with behaviours that are not okay and then we are just resentful and hateful.
Me? I’d rather be loving and generous and very straightforward with what’s okay and what’s not okay.”

So, far from being selfish, setting clear boundaries is an act of great compassion. It means the people in our lives know where they stand. And it allows us to cultivate healthy, balanced relationships rather than simmering with suppressed rage at what we’re having to put up with.

And if it feels hard, remind yourself of this: you only need 10 seconds of courage to set the principles that will save you huge amounts of resentment, conflict and energy in the long term. I’ve learned it’s far better to cope with that little bit of awkwardness than the huge heap of resentment that builds up when you agree to things you don’t want to do.

Big decisions around boundaries can be hard. But the truth is, you only have one life. Is it worth spending it locked in a job, relationship or situation that’s causing you huge stress and resentment, simply to make things easier for the other person?

How to handle a boundary that’s not working

Here’s a 3 step process you can use when a boundary isn’t working.

But first, something really important to note: Don’t wait to be at a time when your boundaries are being crossed to have this conversation.

Instead, give some thought to what’s going on. What’s the boundary you want to create, re-instate, or uphold? Find a time to talk about this outside of the situation.

So if your team member’s perpetually late, don’t wait til they’re sidling guiltily into their seat (and you’re boiling with rage). Choose a time when you can be proactive about the situation before it flares up.

1. Acknowledge the past

If this boundary is one that you’ve let slide before – or perhaps not even been aware of – it’s really important to make it clear that this is changing.

So, start by acknowledging how things have been.

“I know I’ve been working later than I’m supposed to these past few months”

“In the past I’ve stepped in to do the school pickup when you’re running late”

Stay factual, rather than using emotive language. This conversation is one that requires you to be in a calm, clear place, and you want the other person to feel receptive and ready to listen – not to be instantly on the defensive.

2. Set your boundary

This is your chance to get really clear – remembering that defining this is ultimately the most compassionate thing you can do.

Most importantly?

Don’t fall into justifying, explaining or rationalizing your decision.

This isn’t a debate or a discussion – it’s you simply stating what’s true for you.

“I’m not going to be able to do that any more.”

“I’m no longer willing to take that responsibility”

3. Collaborate together

If you’re finding your boundary clashes with someone else’s – and that person is someone who’s important to you – then this will be a vital part of finding your new way forward.

How can you find a way that meets the other person’s needs and still respects your boundary?

What do you both need to be in place to feel good about the situation?

This is why it’s so important that this conversation takes place when you’re not feeling triggered or fired up. When you’re calm and collected, you’ll be in a much more resourceful place when it comes to finding a solution that works for everyone.

Are boundaries a challenge?

If boundaries are something you find tricky to navigate, take a look at our free guide, when we explore this and other boundary conversations and principles in a lot more depth.

It’s called Enough is Enough: How to Gracefully Set Unshakeable Boundaries… and it does what it says on the tin!

Click here to download your copy.

How about you?

Are you the Queen of unshakeable boundaries? Have you got a particularly sticky boundaries conundrum going on right now, that you’d love to get someone else’s take on? Share in the comments below – someone else might have just the words of wisdom you need.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

Guest blog: How to build inner confidence

April 25, 2018 By Helen Reynolds

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Latest posts by Helen Reynolds (see all)

Guest blog: Just use the lotion! (How to put yourself first) - April 1, 2021
Guest Post: What to wear to a 2-day event - February 27, 2019
Guest blog: How to build inner confidence - April 25, 2018

Equipping you with the tools you need to go out and make positive change happen is our number one goal. And one vital tool that we could all do with a bit more of is confidence – the kind that lights us up from the inside.

As a gender, on average, we are far less confident than the average man. Lower confidence levels mean that we are far less likely to take the brave, crucial, and damn difficult, first steps needed to make the progress that our world needs.

How to build inner confidence

Why is this? Well, there is lots in the mixing pot, from our likelihood of suffering from imposter syndrome, to the effect of the media and the way we beat ourselves up about not being ‘perfect’ enough.

Sadly, it’s a fact that the way we feel about how we look impacts the level of confidence we have. If you aren’t happy with how you look on the outside, especially if you don’t feel that the clothes you wear truly represents the you on the inside, it can monkey with your confidence.

If you’ve ever had that horrible sensation of not ‘looking the part’ you know that it can prevent you from having the courage to ask for a promotion, get out and meet people, or take on a job that involves regular board meetings or speaking engagements. This is wrong, but it’s also fact.

Having ‘What the heck am I going to wear today?’ squared away FOR LIFE means having one less thing to worry about, and brings with it the confidence of knowing that you always look authentically yourself.

So, how to get this sorted?

Well, when Jo wanted to deal with this herself she asked me for my help. And today I want to share the advice I gave her – and my other clients – when it came to creating a signature style that would really help her to have the biggest impact.

I’ve created this video to help you learn how to develop a ‘personal style’ that reflects your personality and makes choosing the right outfit for the right occasion effortless.

You’ll discover:

• Why some clothes, no matter how nice or expensive they are, make you feel terrible.
• The 3 steps you can take today to figure out your personal style.
• How to get your image sorted for life, so that you can get on with everything else!

Here it is….

There’s something truly empowering about knowing that you look the best version of yourself, without having to resort to spending a fortune, or slavishly following fashion.

So you can carry on being the leader you are here to be.

About Helen Reynolds

Helen Reynolds is one of our BeFruitful mentors, and works personally with Jo to put together her powerful outfits for the stage.

As an image consultant she’s helped hundreds of women to turbo-boost their personal style and develop killer confidence. Her speciality is in helping women who have lost their way with style and need a boost find clothes they love – and which love them back.

Time to get your style sorted?

If you’d like an easy way to get this stuff sorted out, and learn more, why not join Helen at her ‘Get Your Style Sorted!’ Masterclass in London on 12th of May. Helen has been running this annual event for the past five years and plenty of women in our community have attended.

Not only is it a great day out, but you’ll come away knowing the fundamental lessons that you need to create a personal style for yourself. Having this stuff nailed takes the stress out of shopping and ends wondering what to wear FOR LIFE.

To get £27 off the usual ticket price (and bring a friend for half price!) click here to book your ticket.

This will be an awesome day out, and a fantastic opportunity to spend some time on yourself in the company of great women, so, don’t miss out on the opportunity to get your style sorted!