One of Many

Woman looking to create change

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Guest blog: How to build inner confidence

By

Helen Reynolds
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Helen Reynolds

Image Consultant | Professional Shopper | Blogger | Mum of two boys | Sock Washer |Confidence Booster
Helen Reynolds
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Latest posts by Helen Reynolds (see all)

Equipping you with the tools you need to go out and make positive change happen is our number one goal. And one vital tool that we could all do with a bit more of is confidence – the kind that lights us up from the inside.

As a gender, on average, we are far less confident than the average man. Lower confidence levels mean that we are far less likely to take the brave, crucial, and damn difficult, first steps needed to make the progress that our world needs.

How to build inner confidence

Why is this? Well, there is lots in the mixing pot, from our likelihood of suffering from imposter syndrome, to the effect of the media and the way we beat ourselves up about not being ‘perfect’ enough.

Sadly, it’s a fact that the way we feel about how we look impacts the level of confidence we have. If you aren’t happy with how you look on the outside, especially if you don’t feel that the clothes you wear truly represents the you on the inside, it can monkey with your confidence.

If you’ve ever had that horrible sensation of not ‘looking the part’ you know that it can prevent you from having the courage to ask for a promotion, get out and meet people, or take on a job that involves regular board meetings or speaking engagements. This is wrong, but it’s also fact.

Having ‘What the heck am I going to wear today?’ squared away FOR LIFE means having one less thing to worry about, and brings with it the confidence of knowing that you always look authentically yourself.

So, how to get this sorted?

Well, when Jo wanted to deal with this herself she asked me for my help. And today I want to share the advice I gave her – and my other clients – when it came to creating a signature style that would really help her to have the biggest impact.

I’ve created this video to help you learn how to develop a ‘personal style’ that reflects your personality and makes choosing the right outfit for the right occasion effortless.

You’ll discover:

• Why some clothes, no matter how nice or expensive they are, make you feel terrible.
• The 3 steps you can take today to figure out your personal style.
• How to get your image sorted for life, so that you can get on with everything else!

Here it is….

 

There’s something truly empowering about knowing that you look the best version of yourself, without having to resort to spending a fortune, or slavishly following fashion.

So you can carry on being the leader you are here to be.

 

About Helen Reynolds

Helen Reynolds: How to build inner confidenceHelen Reynolds is one of our BeFruitful mentors, and works personally with Jo to put together her powerful outfits for the stage.

As an image consultant she’s helped hundreds of women to turbo-boost their personal style and develop killer confidence. Her speciality is in helping women who have lost their way with style and need a boost find clothes they love – and which love them back.

Time to get your style sorted?

If you’d like an easy way to get this stuff sorted out, and learn more, why not join Helen at her ‘Get Your Style Sorted!’ Masterclass in London on 12th of May. Helen has been running this annual event for the past five years and plenty of women in our community have attended.

Not only is it a great day out, but you’ll come away knowing the fundamental lessons that you need to create a personal style for yourself. Having this stuff nailed takes the stress out of shopping and ends wondering what to wear FOR LIFE.

To get £27 off the usual ticket price (and bring a friend for half price!) click here to book your ticket.

This will be an awesome day out, and a fantastic opportunity to spend some time on yourself in the company of great women, so, don’t miss out on the opportunity to get your style sorted!

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Why is burnout more common in the helping professions?

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

You’ve probably heard of burnout – if you haven’t suffered from it yourself, you’ll no doubt know someone who has. It’s especially common among those in caring roles. Figures in the UK suggest almost 25% of healthcare workers will experience burnout. Not to mention the hundreds of other helping professionals like coaches, teachers, and carers. So why is burnout more common in the helping professions, and what we can do to prevent and heal it?

Understanding the background of burnout as a concept gives us some powerful clues as to what it is and how we can tackle it. Burnout was first described in the 1970s by a researcher called Herbert Freudenberger, who worked at a clinic for drug addicts. He observed volunteers and staff at the clinic experiencing the symptoms we now commonly recognise as burnout:

● Exhaustion
● Cynicism/demotivation relating to work
● Signs of depression or anxiety
● Reduced performance

What’s interesting is that this phenomenon was first described among people whose work was all about helping others. Although we now talk about burnout occurring in all sorts of careers, right from the start it seems to have been a particular issue for people in these types of roles. Why might that be?

Contributing factors to burnout

1. Idealism

When our work is helping, we’re often motivated by a deep desire to care for those in need; a sense of altruism is what drives us. It’s a wonderful thing, but that idealism can also be a challenge. After all, it can be hard to “switch off” at the end of the day, or keep a sense of perspective, when your identity and core values are so bound up in your day to day activities. Boundaries between work, home and self care quickly unravel in these circumstances, and that can lead to overwhelm and burnout.

2. The nature of the work

Working with people is unpredictable. It can be frustrating, and sometimes chaotic. What’s more, in roles which involve caring for people, mistakes can have serious consequences. Although some caring roles are given low status by society, they carry huge responsibility for the health and wellbeing of vulnerable people, placing additional stress on those who work in them.

Healthcare workers especially are often under pressure to meet targets and be mindful of cost implications as well as the responsibility for the interests of the patient. Stress and anxiety flourish in these contexts, and can lead to a sense of lack of control or apathy – key features of burnout.

Even if you’re in a helping profession like coaching where you get to set your own hours, it doesn’t mean your clients are any more predictable. Our phones go at every hour of the day, and our urge to be of service makes it hard to carve out uninterrupted time or to “switch off” our care and concern.

3. Greater sensitivity

Whether you work in the helping professions or not, you might be able to recognise some of these factors in your own experience. If you’re someone who tends to put other peoples’ needs ahead of your own; if you’re highly tuned in and sensitive to the emotions and environment around you, you might identify – like me– as a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) as defined in Elaine Aron’s (highly recommended!) book.

HSP’s aren’t necessarily introverts or people who are emotionally fragile, but we do find ourselves reacting differently to environments with a lot of sensory input, especially when there’s a lot going on combined with pressure to conform to deadlines and targets. Being sensitive to other’s needs can make us highly effective and skilled helping professionals, but it also increases the likelihood of us becoming overwhelmed by the context we’re working in.

So how can we prevent it?

At One of many, we use a tool called the Women’s PowerTypes™ to explore the different “roles” we play in our lives. These have been developed specifically for women, and reflect underlying traits which allow us to understand the different ways we can approach the challenges in our lives: they’re the Warrioress, Queen, Sorceress, Mother and Lover.

It’s those last two which are the lens through which we can look at the issue of burnout and gain a greater understanding of what it is and how we can prevent it.

Why is burnout more common in the helping professions? The PowerTypes answer

When we look at these five PowerTypes, two are especially relevant here. The first is the Mother.

Mother

The Mother PowerType is above all nurturing, caring and driven by a desire to take care of others. These are all values which are really important for women working in helping professions. The best teachers, coaches, nurses and doctors are those who really care about the people they look after.

However, as with all the PowerTypes, there are elements of the Mother that can be unhealthy if this PowerType becomes too dominant, and isn’t balanced out by the other elements of female power.

The Mother’s shadow side is the Martyr. Aggrieved, angry and hurt, the Martyr feels put upon and resentful. It’s a deeply negative state to be in, and left unchecked can easily spiral into what we’d recognise as burnout: exhausted, demotivated and depressed.

The clue to avoiding this lies in the second relevant PowerType when talking about burnout:

Lover

The Lover is the PowerType associated with love, desire and sexuality. This relates not only to our partners, but also to ourselves. The Lover is the PowerType who most powerfully embodies the practice of self care.

Sensual, relaxed and deeply motivated by the desire to honour herself and create sublime experiences, she is the PowerType who tells us to rest, to play and to take care of ourselves so that we can take better care of others.

For Highly Sensitive People, having pleasurable sensory experiences is vital to allow us to calm, ground and “reset” ourselves.

The Soft Powertypes and burnout

Understanding the PowerTypes can help us to make sense of the statistics from a very practical standpoint. We can see how likely it is that women who are drawn to the helping professions might have overdeveloped Mother profiles, and might need support in expressing their Lover side.

The Lover can be nurtured through activities like:

● Making a list of things you’d love to do and working through it (putting your needs first, for once)
● Taking yourself on trips alone to explore new things
● Giving yourself experiences to delight the senses: a soft scarf, a delicious perfume, your favourite food

Using the PowerTypes gives us clues to our innate tendencies, enabling us to act before we reach crisis point. If we know we tend to be over-expressed in our Mother, we can remember to give more focus to the Lover before we reach the stage of burnout, allowing us to thrive in a more healthy balance.

How about you? Have you experienced burnout in you or someone close to you, and can you see the factors that caused it? We love to know your experiences and advice – leave a comment below, let us know.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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How Trust Is Built

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

At One of many we believe in the power of collaboration. The community we’ve created and the mutual support we offer each other is fundamental to our success. And that support rests on one crucial thing: knowing how trust is built, and making sure our collaboration rests on strong foundations.

I’ve experienced what it’s like to develop a relationship of trust on countless occasions. In fact, one of the people in my life I trust most – Suzanne Dibble, who leads the Empress Collective with me – was someone I ‘met’ online way before we connected face to face. I was looking for someone to interview about UK law, and her name was recommended by someone in a Facebook group I was in.

Fast forward a few years, and I’m trusting Suzanne with my name, my business reputation, and a big chunk of my revenue. But how do you get from Facebook friend to trusted ally? It’s not a fast process, that’s for sure – and there are some key pitfalls to avoid.

How Trust is built

Let’s be clear – I’m definitely not suggesting that you blindly trust everyone you come across. That’s a recipe for heartbreak and let down, for sure. But from the people who take care of our kids to the accountants who keep an eye on our income and the partners we blend our lives with, a full and fulfilling life requires us to trust people.

Here’s how we see trust being built:

1. Approach with an open heart

We see this a lot in relationships: A bad experience can shut down our willingness to be vulnerable and get to know someone. But just as one heartbreak doesn’t mean you’ll never find a partnership that’s right for you, having one negative experience certainly doesn’t prevent you from trusting again. Try to give each person you come across a blank sheet. It doesn’t mean being naive – it does mean giving them the chance to prove themselves, one way or another.

2. Always start small

The simplest answer to the question of how trust is built is: in small steps, one chunk at a time. When you first meet someone, you begin to get a feel for how good they are at keeping their word. Do they show up on time? Do they do what they say they’re going to do? Over time, these little agreements build up to a sense of how trustworthy someone is. For Suzanne and I, it started with me interviewing her for a business program I was running. Later, I spoke at her event – another chance to see the countless tiny clues that told me the kind of person she was, and how she ran her business.

3. Lean on your community

Suzanne’s name came to me via a colleague who I trusted already, because she’d been on my team for years. Personal recommendations go a long way to helping us know if someone’s who they say they are. Of course, someone else’s experience is no guarantee that yours will be the same, but if you’re considering a new hire, or wondering about a romantic partner, chatting to an objective third party who knows them already can be incredibly helpful.

4. The internet can help us trust

We might be wary of meeting fraudsters on the internet, but it can also be our friend when we’re deciding whether or not we can trust someone. The first thing to remember is that not everyone online is who they say they are. (At One of many we manage a community of thousands, and there’s no way we could “vet” everyone who wanted to join us.)

But the internet also means it’s fairly easy to get a snapshot of who someone is, from a variety of different sources. “Due diligence” means, essentially, doing your homework. A quick google search on someone (married and maiden names!) can be a great step towards peace of mind. When I googled Suzanne it was quickly apparently that she was well respected in her industry, had a professional website, and was indeed a qualified lawyer. Other due diligence might involve contacting someone who’s worked with the person and asking for their honest review, or asking them to provide you with references.

5. Trust your instincts

Someone who’s genuinely trustworthy in any realm is unlikely to be offended if you explain you want to be sure before committing your time, money or emotions to them. If things feel like they’re moving too fast; if your concerns are being brushed under the carpet or if there’s something that just “doesn’t feel right”, it’s time to take stock. It can be helpful to talk through your concerns with someone you do trust, to get an objective perspective, especially when there’s lots at stake.

How about you? Do you have any red flags that tell you when someone’s not quite who they say they are – or things that tell you it’s fine to go ahead? Without naming any names, do share your wisdom in the comments below.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.
We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.
Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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How to not burnout: A 4-step response

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

These days, pushing ourselves past capacity is something of an epidemic among women. Beyond the hype about “having it all” are some pretty sobering statistics – like the fact that right now, we’re 60% more likely to suffer job stress and burnout than men. So when it comes to reaching our potential, learning how to not burn out needs to be a priority. Trying to be “superwoman” really does come at an insidious cost.

One of our BePowerful participants, Mary, saw that play out vividly in her life: “In the past I did Superwoman spectacularly and burned out” she reflected.

That kind of experience can be a huge motivator in seeking support to change the pattern. Of course, we can’t stop life from gathering momentum but we can choose how we respond to when it does.

How to not burnout – the 4-step response

1. Look after yourself

Especially when there’s a lot on your plate, taking care of your needs and asking for the support you need is vital. It can be easy to lose perspective when we’re not at our best, but there’s usually an inner whisper that tells us when things are getting too much.

So listen to it and get honest with yourself: how well are you really coping? Is it time for a break? What’s going on physically for you? Gentle awareness of your own needs and acknowledgment of all you’re doing (rather than focusing on what you’re not getting to) is the first step to making a change.

2. Replenish your energy

Did you know that cortisol, the hormone released when we’re stressed, prepares the body for a fight-or-flight response by releasing glucose? Even if we’re not resorting to sweet treats to get us through the day, feeling constantly stressed or anxious effectively floods our body with sugar.

Replenishing ourselves and reducing cortisol takes more than just stopping. It also means finding a way to release that fight-or-flight reflex by taking exercise (a walk in the fresh air is a great start), meditating, or making active choices to address our workload.

3. Stop over committing

Sometimes we don’t realise how over committed we are until looking at the diary makes us want to crawl back under the duvet. And yet we keep saying “yes” to more and more things, because we don’t want to offend people or feel as though we’re letting anyone else down.

Burnout thrives when we put our need to feel helpful above our own capacity. Get real about what you can commit to – and practice saying “no” politely until it’s second nature.

4. Prioritise

The fact is, we can’t do everything, and telling ourselves we could if we only pushed ourselves harder is what results in overwhelm. Our culture tends to reward “busy-ness”, and it’s easy to find ourselves taking on more and more without stopping to consider the bigger picture.

Prioritising means we need to get really clear on our values and the bigger impact we want to make. Beyond being “busy”, how are the activities that fill our day actually making a difference to our families, our communities, and the world?

Learning to let go anything that doesn’t contribute to that is a challenge for all of us, but to avoid burnout, we have to learn to change our expectations. Make sure you do only what really matters.

Banishing Superwoman

These steps might be straightforward, but they’re definitely not easy. Putting our own needs first, saying no, and getting clear on how we really want to spend our time and energy is a challenge for all women. After all, most of us have been raised in cultures which expect us to be the cheerful, capable high-achievers in everything we do.

But those statistics about overwhelm and burnout speak for themselves. “Superwoman” is a role that comes at the expense of our health, our wellbeing and ultimately our impact on the world.

Don’t let her take over your life.

If you’ve experienced your own brush with burnout in whatever form, do share what you’ve learned in the comments below. Your experience might be just what another woman needs to read today.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Grass-roots women who inspire – Karen’s Story

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Karen’s Story – Finding Purpose and Fulfillment

‘You have so much potential, follow your dreams and create the life you want!’

This had been said to me many times but for some reason it never meant anything. Probably because I never felt I had any clarity and certainly no direction or focus for my life. Depression had taken residence and my life had come to a grinding halt.

This was how I was feeling. I was unemployed and lacking any clarity, direction or focus. I didn’t know who I was, what I wanted to do or what I stood for. I wasn’t despondent but I certainly wasn’t moving and I felt like an octopus with tentacles out feeling for opportunities but grappling around in the dark to no avail.

I had read a lot about ‘creating your lifestyle’ but for me my need was more fundamental than that, more basic. I simply wanted to find a life. I wanted to experience more meaning in my life and a deeper sense of fulfilment.

I’d been studying women’s issues for a few years and I had a really strong sense that international women’s day was important and should be honoured. If you don’t know, International Women’s Day (IWD) is celebrated on March 8th and dates back over 100 years, since the time of the Suffragette’s. It’s a global day celebrating the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women and also marks a call to action for accelerating gender parity (the measurement of gender equality).

The global movement encourages women to celebrate the day locally. After attending my second International Women’s Day event in Swindon I couldn’t help but feel a little bit disappointed. It just didn’t have the energy that I thought it could have.

‘What was it really about? What was the point of us all coming together?’ I asked myself.

There was a deep sense within me that this was a truly important day and that women’s progression over the years should be celebrated and honoured but the gathering just felt a bit off.

I happened to find myself in conversation with a group of women, one of whom was the main organiser. Me and my big mouth, I couldn’t help but ask

“What do you want to do this for?”

My question was met with stunned silence and it gradually became obvious that the organisers had other motives in mind. I left the gathering without giving it a second thought but the next year I got approached to organise it. I said no because I didn’t feel equipped to do it.

Shortly afterwards I was at a One of many event talking with Jo Martin (the founder) about what I might do for my project. This was part of the Lead the Change Program I was doing with her.

I had the awareness that I wasn’t in tune with what I wanted to do but I was terrified of letting myself go.

“What would you like to do?” She asked me.

“I don’t know,” I shrugged, “I think I’d quite like to run a not for profit that transformed the lives of women and girls. Something that created more equality.”

“Actually,” I continued, “I’ve been asked to organise the next International Women’s Day in Swindon but I said no.”

Jo gave me a quizzical look, smiled and said “Why don’t you do it. Do it for fun.”

Do it for fun!

On returning to Swindon I set about organising the event. With only 6 weeks until the day we were on a super tight timescale. I had been learning about the natural gifts and power of women with Jo and I wanted to use my feminine energy to create this event. I have to confess though, I didn’t do very well with that. Instead I used every ounce of Superwoman to meet the deadlines and make the day a success. I kept reminding myself that this was fun but to be honest sometimes I was telling myself this through gritted teeth.

The trouble is Superwoman, the one who is spinning all plates, taking responsibility for everything, doing the doing and all the organising, driving and pushing to make things happen was not me in my feminine. Instead it was me drawing on my masculine energy and true to pattern I ended up burned out.

The event was a great success, however, with over 600 women joining us but I was left exhausted. I had wanted to learn about feminine energy and my natural gifts as a woman. But I had done it all with masculine energy. I was trying to put what I was learning into practice but I was instead living out old habits.

In 2016 I decided to do it differently. I’d been on a wonderful year of personal growth and decided I would bring everything I’d learned, all my One of many language, tools and techniques.

A lightbulb moment

In the past I have always been very literal, with a mind-set of ‘Tell me what to do and I’ll do it.’ But thanks to being part of the One of many community I had a huge light bulb moment that completely changed the way I approached life.

I love photography and what makes me most passionate about it is I just want people to feel really good about themselves. I felt honoured to be invited to photograph our Lead the Change group and through them all simply allowing me to be myself, it suddenly dawned on me that I could shape the way my world looked. Or more specifically I could shape IWD Swindon into what I saw it could be.

I feel truly blessed to be part of an incredible support network like this. I couldn’t have done what I’ve done without these amazing women. They were there for every wobble that I had and kept me buoyant.

We doubled our numbers in 2016

I decided that in 2016 I was going to learn to collaborate. I created a community group to run the event which consisted of 3 of us and a brand for us to become known for.

The 2016 gathering was a huge success with over 1200 women joining with us on that day. Our brand values of Inspire, Educate and Elevate really seemed to capture women’s hearts and speak to them. Personally, I focused on learning to communicate well. I set about learning about different personality types and the sort of language they used so that I could understand and communicate more clearly with my team and our supporters.

Our 2017 event was also a great success and IWD Swindon continues to go from strength to strength. I’ve learned about managing projects as we expand and how to truly empower others to be in their flow.

I’ve had to dig deep but I can honestly say I wouldn’t change a thing. Each year brings new learnings and new growth. This year I’ve stepped into Leadership. Previously I’d been denying my own leadership skills. The One of Many mission is to inspire 1 million grass roots women leaders, women who are making a difference in their locality. I feel proud and privileged to be one of those women.

I would have shied away from calling myself a leader in the past but it was somewhere inside me, lurking away just waiting to be invited out to play. This year I asked myself…

What sort of leader am I? And who am I leading?

This was another lightbulb moment for me as I realised that I hold a strong vision for IWD Swindon and holding that vision takes a lot. Holding the vision also means knowing where everyone else is at. Are we all moving in the same direction?

The One of many Women’s PowerTypes have helped me grow enormously. Learning to embody the power of The Queen has made a huge difference for me. I recall a group exercise back in 2015 practicing harnessing the energy of The Queen, I felt so uncomfortable and I couldn’t even lift my head to look up. This was a powerless place to be and I certainly could not do what I’m doing today without being able to access this part of myself.

As the one with the vision I have to keep an eye on the goal and deal with any problems that arise such as partners pulling out. It is truly wonderful to deal with these things with dignity and grace, instead of freaking out (which may have happened in the past). Now I simply see the vision then reassess and realign.

True leadership comes from being. As I am being more of the grass roots leader that I am, I witness the wonderful positive effect it has as it ripples out to others and they become empowered into their natural leadership. I love watching Helen (one of our team) blossom into her grass roots leadership. She is married to a Japanese man and is going to a global women’s summit in Japan soon.

This year I built a team of 8 people and they are all leaders in their own right. I also challenged myself to put in a grant application with the Arts Council and it was successful. We received £14.5K as well as funding from some local businesses.

It’s not in isolation that we will change the world. It’s through collaboration, community and a greater mission.

This year a film maker made a film of our 2017 event. I welled up when I saw the footage. It enabled me to actually see what it was I was trying to achieve. And it’s allowed me to really understand myself.

I’ve been battling between what’s my identity. Am I a photographer, a curator, a community activist, an organiser of events.

I realised that for now I am the face of IWD Swindon and the work we do with that is part of my purpose.

I want for all women to participate in this event in their locality. When I say all women I don’t mean every person in every house. What I mean is all backgrounds, all classes, all ethnicities. So that there is representation from all women on the day. I also want us to be thinking about girls and what they need to flourish, as well as the parents of girls. This is important so that we can break these cycles of inequality that otherwise just keep on going.

Amazing people show up all the time to help with our mission. They are all experts in what they do but feel that they want to be more on purpose than on profit.

One highly talented lady approached me recently and said she really wanted to help community groups do their thing. I said to her that there were many community groups at IWD Swindon and she should reach out to them and get involved.

Yes she replied… I am. I’m choosing IWD Swindon. You’re the group I’d love to work with. Sometimes I feel like I’m a little bit slow to catch up with how miraculous this is.

This journey has been an amazing ride, it’s bought me things that I didn’t even know I was missing.

I’m so grateful to have a better sense of myself, my purpose and the type of life I want to lead. I wish you fun on your journey!

While developing her leadership skills on her Project, Karen used her new-found confidence and direction to simultaneously launch her own business as a photographer. She is now regularly booked and doing what she loves for work, as well as making a huge community impact for International Women’s Day. Well done Karen!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

In my 14 years of mentoring and coaching business owners, executives and entrepreneurs there is one question that comes up time and again.

From start up to multi-million dollar business, in times of transition the most common questions is …

Should I start my own business or get a job?

I’ve created a free report to help you answer this question. So if you feel a greater purpose calling you but don’t know where to start this free report can help you gain clarity on the right business vehicle for you.

Download your report here

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Be the Woman You Were Born to Be

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

You want to make a difference.
You want to be valued.
You want to leave a legacy.
You want to show your children that life can be amazing.

BUT…

You’re feeling lost and don’t know which direction to take.

Do you have this nagging sense that there is something more you should be doing with your life? If you do you’re far from alone.

Life is urging us as women towards greater things.

You know there is more of you to be expressed. You feel that nagging tension inside. A subtle knowing that there is something more that you should do and share. You know that there is more to life. But you don’t know which direction to take or where to start.

Phew! Frustrating isn’t it. But take a deep breath and relax. I hear you sister and you’re in the right place. I’m going to share 4 easy things that you can do to get yourself inspired and moving.

Life’s too short to waste another minute on something that isn’t making your heart sing. And the good news is the time of work being a soul destroying chore that leaves you feeling empty and undervalued at the end of the day is a thing of the past.

We’re in a brand new time where your work becomes far more than an exchange of time for money. We’re in a time where your work can be a hugely rewarding experience. Everything changes when you love your career. Sounds dramatic but it’s true. Imagine it…it’s more than work, more than a career even, it’s your life’s mission.

Everyone has been made for some particular work, and the desire
for that work has been put in every heart. Rumi

If you have that nagging feeling that you’re supposed to do something bigger, something bolder, something greater with your life then read on because I’m going to share with you how you can escape the frustration and start making it happen.

Firstly get grateful for that inner nagging tension.

I know it’s uncomfortable and can sometimes make you feel like you’re going insane. Your mind is in a perpetual whirr frantically searching for what you should do. But fret no longer. Instead rest assured that this inner knowing comes to us all in different ways when we’re expanding into greater possibilities. It’s exciting, a true gift.

I know it can leave you feeling completely lost and wondering ‘What am I supposed to do?’ Annoying isn’t it. I don’t know about you but I’m impatient, so waiting for things to unravel can be super challenging. What I’ve discovered though is this inner tension is trying to guide me. And it’s trying to guide you to.

Once you encounter it, it can never be put back in its box. You can try but it will still be there in the background, it’s a persistent little blighter. It might appear to go quiet for a little while but then suddenly wham it’s back again. It just doesn’t go away.

You see for women meaning is everything, without it our motivation evaporates. Yet for many women finding purpose is the biggest challenge that they face when it comes to career and work. It’s very easy to look out at the world we live in and become disillusioned. Many women fritter their lives away in meaningless or mediocre work that drains them.

Some women are fortunate enough to find something meaningful. But they make compromises on how much they are willing to make, so struggle to make ends meet and become drained.

Imagine waking without an alarm and feeling a burst of joy that it’s a brand new day. The sheets are soft on your skin and you feel refreshed and energised. Brilliant ideas are popping into your head and you get up to write them down. You love this feeling of knowing you are in exactly the right place at the right time. Doing something you absolutely love, making a positive difference to others and being generously financially rewarded in the process.

It’s a BIG difference to meeting the new day with a groan and groping for the alarm to hit the snooze button.

Once you know what your purpose is and you start living it, everything changes. Once you’re truly on purpose that’s when miracles start to become a regular feature in your life.

Don’t fall into the common trap

Many people are waiting for that blaze of light. That mind-blowing clarity where they see a vision for their purpose and mission in techno-colour. That life altering never to be forgotten moment when they know beyond a shadow of a doubt exactly what they are supposed to do with their life.

Sounds great doesn’t it but don’t wait for it. Yes it happens to the occasional person but it’s not usual. It’s a bit like your friends at school who knew exactly what they wanted to do when they grew up. Few and far between right? I think I had one friend like that.

I know that my journey to leading One of Many, this mission to inspire 1 million grass-roots women leaders, has been a journey of unravelling. As I have put one foot in front of the other this mission has gradually revealed itself. And it’s the same for you. You just need to start putting one foot in front of the other.

We are living in a truly exciting and unique time on the planet. In our new paradigm world, there has never has been a greater time for crafting a truly unique career path that harnesses your greatest gifts and provides the income you need to live a truly fulfilled life.

Our belief is when your life’s work is a true expression of your authentic self, work is a true joy.

Now is YOUR time.

Perhaps you, like many women, know you have lots more to give but you just haven’t fully embraced it yet.

This is your birth right. It’s not a question of whether you deserve it or whether you’re good enough. Sadly it’s incredibly common for women to be lacking in confidence and unconsciously holding themselves back.

Are you unconsciously saying no?

Secondly get yourself a really nice journal and commit to writing in it every day. Carve out some time for you to connect with your hearts desires. You can’t create or allow yourself to receive your truly juicy life if you are unconsciously saying no to it.

You need to start saying yes to yourself. Yes to all the good things that life has planned for you. Yes to experiencing great joy, satisfaction and fulfillment.

In order for you to escape that nagging tension that’s slowly driving you nuts you need to start opening your mind. Start allowing yourself to hear and receive that inner guidance that’s there for you.

“Do something today that your future self will thank you for.”  Sean Patrick Flanery

A major problems when we feel lost is we do nothing. But this inertia further compounds the problem. Instead you need to start to take some action because taking a step one direction will begin to create some movement in your life.

Be bold right now and make a decision now that you’re going to do something to quiet that inner niggle. You’re going to discover its secrets. You’re too valuable to keep hiding away. Go and buy yourself a really nice journal.

I do love yummy stationery.

You might like to write a little statement to yourself in the front of your lovely new journal…

I am dedicated to discovering my destiny. My meaningful path to success. I open my mind and heart to hear the divine guiding wisdom that is available for me. I commit to creating special time for myself each day where I will allow myself to dream and connect with my hearts desires.

Then sign and date it. Something powerful happens when you write things down.

Why make time for yourself?

“Investing in yourself is the best investment you will ever make. It will not only improve your life, it will improve the lives of all those around you.” Robin S. Sharma

Thirdly don’t go it alone. Women are wired for connection. When we feel connected we flourish and thrive. So come and join our vibrant One of Many community and hang out with a group of supportive, inspiring and courageous women.

Women who you can share your dreams and aspirations with. Women who will cheer you on and hold your hand when you wobble. Wobbles are bound to happen as you open up to the wonder that life has to offer you.

And finally…

Be bold. Start taking some action that comes from the inspiration that you receive.

When I was a medical doctor I realised that we all have a time limit. We live our lives like we don’t but we all do. I asked myself if I knew what mine was would I continue to be a doctor.

I was a great doctor. The nurses and patients loved me. I was smart. I was making a positive difference but…

it wasn’t my difference. Do you know what I mean?

The answer was absolutely no. So that night I made a decision. The decision was to do what felt like me. It was a bit of an aha moment as I realised I wanted to go to drama school. Acting had always been a hobby of mine. I had dreams of being a professional actress but I’d never believed in myself enough to give it a crack.

I got into a great acting school, was loving it and having fun. But I didn’t feel like I was making my difference. That was the time I went to my very first personal development seminar. As I saw the guy on the stage telling stories and facilitating change I thought that’s it. That’s what I want to do. I made a committed decision and I ploughed everything I had into developing myself to be a life coach. I did this despite the little negative voices in my head. “You can’t do that. You’re too young. Who is going to pay you?” You know the ones.

I developed a fairly successful life coaching business by just doing what my mentor told me. This led to me working for a coaching business and travelling the globe leading training seminars of up to 3000 people at a time. But I got burned out.

After recuperating I launched a speaker business and took it to 7 figures in 12 months but again got burned out.

When my son James was born I was breast feeding him in a darkened room. He was so precious and that quote from the Dalai Lama popped into my head. “The world will be saved by the western women.” I realised he was talking about me. I had to do something to make the world a better place for my son. The world would not be changed by political women leaders but by all women. By me and my sister. By you.

This was a huge wakeup call for me and that’s when One of many™ was born. I knew I had to do something for women.

I share because I want you to see that discovering your destiny in an on-going unfolding. It’s only when you’ve finished that you will be able to connect the dots. You can’t connect them in the beginning.

Here’s a reminder of those 4 easy steps…

  1. Get grateful for that inner nagging
  2. Make time to write in your journal daily
  3. Connect with other supportive women
  4. Be bold and follow your inspired action

I’d love to know what you’re inspired to do. Leave a comment and let us know.

If you’re would love to delve deeper to find the key to unlocking your true career fulfilment our BeFulfilled event is for you.

BeFulfilled™ Your Life’s Work

A two-day retreat to uncover your greatest contribution, and find clarity in your career and finances.

This workshop is designed expressly to help you discover and define your inherent value, to express it, and be rewarded for it.

Book a call with Maria our lovely customer services manager to see if it’s a fit for you.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

 

 

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Jo&Co Episode 11: Environmental Distraction

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Did you know that one piece of paper out of place on your desk gets your attention 6 times a day! That’s a lot of wasted attention and therefore wasted energy.

Clutter and disorganisation costs you time and money. If you find you are living and working in a disaster zone then it’s definitely a huge distraction.

Many of the ladies who do my BeFruitful program say that getting their space sorted is one of the most useful things they have ever done. This is because clutter and things out of place are a big drain on your mental faculties. It really is worth taking the time to sort out your environment because it unleashes a huge amount of energy.

Check out todays Jo&Co episode to find out if it’s time to blitz or bits.

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8 strategies to overcome Imposter Sydrome

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

If you ever have that feeling that sooner or later someone is going to find out that you’re actually no good at whatever it is you’re doing, that you’re a total fraud…. or indeed you’ve not taken opportunities IN CASE someone finds out you’re a fraud… then chances are you’re suffering from Imposter Syndrome. In this blog we take a look at why we feel it (or avoid it), and what to do about it.

Imposter Syndrome was first described by Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes as ‘Occuring among high achievers who are unable to internalise and accept their success. These high achievers will often contribute their success to luck rather than accomplishment and fear that others are going to unmask them.’

It is very common in high achievers, and more common in women than in men.

Jodie Foster, feared she’d have to give her Oscar back after winning it for ‘The Accused’. “I thought it was a fluke,” she said in an interview. Another extraordinary actress Kate Winslet, said “fame doesn’t give you confidence.” And Maya Angelou, an incredible woman who was a fount of wisdom, knowledge and extraordinary insight, suffered with it as well. Even though she wrote 11 books, she still feared she would be ‘found out.’

If you ever feel like you’re a bit of a fraud, if you ever achieve great success but try and write it off as luck or being in the right place at the right time, you’re in really great company.

Imposter Syndrome is a horrible feeling. A strong sense that you’re a fake, or an imposter. That one day you’re going to be found out.

This feeling stops us stepping into our greatness. Every time I up-level I get this feeling. It’s so powerfully uncomfortable that sometimes we avoid taking the steps or embracing the opportunities that may come our way in an attempt to avoid it.

It has us play small. It has us not be bold for fear of being found out.

It affects many of us – small business owners, big business owners, celebrities and also successful corporate employees. As entrepreneurs it stops you owning your talents and promoting yourself. As a corporate it stops you putting yourself forward for promotion because you don’t even feel like you should even be where you are.

I truly believe that your hearts’ desire and the will of source are one and the same.

The etymology of desire is de sidere which means of the stars.

If you long for something, wish for something or even just hope for something. It’s because it’s destined. It’s supposed to be. I call them your marching orders.

Many of us don’t go after our desires because we feel like we’re not big enough or bold enough for it. We feel like an imposter. The fear of being found out, and the shame that would result in stops us.

Brené Brown has made an amazing contribution in the psychological field in relation to shame and guilt. She suggests that vulnerability is the key to getting past these limiting feelings and that we have to go through shame, through the vulnerability to get to whole- hearted, to get to the feeling of joy and living on purpose.

This is reflected in the common call for women who are further along in their careers to share their vulnerabilities, in order to help those below them to be bold enough to step up. It’s common to look at those ahead of us and think they have everything sorted, or that is was easy for them, which is usually not the case at all.

Personally, I go through cycles. I’ve been up-levelling lately and it always raises the familiar old feelings of discomfort. Increasingly I become bolder as I am prepared to be vulnerable and step into the discomfort that arises as I embrace what I am inspired to do in the world.

Recently two of the women in my mastermind were on Necker Island with George and Amal Clooney, some other extraordinary people, and of course Richard Branson.

I got an invite for that trip and I didn’t go. The topic was interesting but wasn’t particularly my bag, they were discussing politics and criminal justice. But was that the only reason I didn’t go? It did make me have a look at my imposter syndrome. I found underlying was a fear of going and being the dumbest and least successful person in the room.

My fellow master-minders shared that they went exactly for this, knowing they would be the dumbest and poorest people in the room, but in doing so they would be able to be the greatest students.

How can you overcome Imposter Syndrome?

  1. Reach out to someone.

Find sources of support that you can turn to in those moments of fear. The people who will champion you, encourage you and remind you how great you are. I feel truly blessed to be surrounded by the most amazing supportive people in my life. We all need support and encouragement.

  1. Remind yourself what you have achieved.

Read over your bio. I often do this when I have Imposter Syndrome moments. It’s really great to remind yourself of all the things you have done and achieved in your life. Don’t forget the small things either.

  1. Create an ‘I rock’ file

Create an ‘I rock’ file by collecting clippings, thank you cards, notes, messages on facebook or emails of congratulations or thanks. Have a look through your I rock file when you need reminding of the positive difference you’ve made to other people and the things you’ve achieved.

  1. Own your success

Accept that you have had some role in your success. Yes you may have had an opportunity that others didn’t have but there are plenty of people born with a silver spoon who mess it up. Life’s not fair but you did do something to get where you are.

  1. Shift from ‘me’ focus to ‘other’ focus

There’s nothing like shifting your focus from yourself to others to overcome Imposter Syndrome and discover the impetus to go for it.

I’m passionate about The hunger project (an organisation committed to the sustainable end of world hunger). When Imposter Syndrome rears its head I think of all the women, their families and communities that we have helped so far.

  1. Stop comparing yourself to little miss perfect

Drop the idea of how you think you should be and stop looking at other women from the outside. I was really surprised to discover my coach Ali Brown also has Imposter Syndrome, she’s achieved some remarkable things and is an extraordinary woman. Yet every single human being is vulnerable is some way, it’s good to remember that.

  1. Be unafraid to feel it

Get out there and be vulnerable. Claim it, be bold, get out there and do the thing that makes you feel vulnerable. Remember Brené Brown’s research that in order to get past shame you need to feel it.

  1. Name it

When you next feel like a fraud remind yourself that it is just a feeling. You are not a not a fraud, you are just feeling like a fraud. Phone one of your support buddies and say “I’m having a moment of Imposter Syndrome.”

 

I hope you find those strategies helpful. Take a moment right now to consider what opportunities are you not stepping into because of the fear of being found out?

I’ve got 2 challenges for you this week, firstly I invite you to find the support that helps you to move forward when Imposter Syndrome sneaks up on you.

Second ask yourself what could I be doing if imposter syndrome wasn’t holding me back?

Remember Jodie Foster and Kate Winslet feel it too and it doesn’t stop them, so don’t let it stop you.

I look forward to hearing about your breakthroughs. Share them in the comments here or in our BeOne community.

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What does it really mean to play your strengths as a woman?

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

What are the first words that come to mind when you think about the feminine? Soft, nurturing … maybe a bit recessive, even weak? And what about when you think about female power? Does your mind immediately go to sports commercials and Superwomen? Seems like a bit of a contradiction, doesn’t it, like you either have to choose between being sweet or being strong.

The truth is, true feminine power is neither one of those things.

Don’t get me wrong: I am 100% for strong women stepping into their power. But not in the way that you might think. See, historically we’ve attempted to level the playing field between men and women in two main ways: by stepping into the Superwoman archetype, and trying to out-muscle the men, or stepping into the sex kitten archetype, and trying to seduce them.

But you’re so much more than that.

There’s nothing wrong with being ambitious or sexy — but the classic expression of both of those things comes from a masculine perspective. It’s fairly obvious with the ball breaking, Superwoman archetype. But the traditional sex kitten stems from that linear, masculine paradigm too. And the truth is, neither one makes particularly good use of the inherent strengths that we have as women.

It’s a matter of biology.

Women and men have vast differences in their biology, particularly when it comes to hormones. Men have a lot of testosterone, which is that “push forward, get it done!” hormone that moderates that aggression, that drive to compete, which is great for working in linear, competitive paradigms. Women on the other hand have about a thirteenth of that testosterone. (It varies a bit throughout your cycle, but that’s about what it is.)

Does this mean that we can’t compete and that we just have to wait at home for the men to take care of us? Absolutely not! But it does mean that if we try to work in exactly the same way as the men around us, we’re going to run out of that testosterone pretty quickly, which leaves us running on cortisol and adrenaline, the stress hormones. Cue frustration, burnout, and all the physical, emotional, and mental problems that come along with them.

Strength from cycles

The great news is that once you realise this, you can start to really step into your power as a woman. Instead of trying to push, push, push your way through using a masculine paradigm, you can find the strength that comes from living and working according to your biological cycles.

As I spoke about last week, we’ve all got cycles of energy, which means that different parts of your day, month, and year are best suited for different things. For instance, those days that you feel really “low energy”? They’re not a waste — in fact, they’re often the best for meditation, connecting with Source, and restoring. When you really start to lean into your own rhythm instead of trying to push through full steam, then you can start to step into your power as a woman.

First steps:

1. Observe. That’s it — just see how your particular rhythms work. What do you feel like at different times of the day, what tasks are you particularly drawn to at different times of the month?

2. As you start to see patterns emerge, try to tailor your activities to different parts of your cycle. If you’re familiar with Embrace or other programmes we’ve done, then try tap into whatever archetype you feel your energy is best suited for at the time. And have fun with this! Remember, you’re not trying to come up with this rigidly regimented schedule; you’re trying to tap into the power of what’s already happening.

3. Care for yourself. If you’re running on empty, there’s no way that you can step into your power. So take care of your needs, and throw some wants in there too — maybe some soft play, a relaxing afternoon, a phone call with a friend; whatever you need to get back to your best.

4. If you want to get deeper into this, then try exploring your archetypes. All of the archetypes have their strengths, but it’s often easier to immediately see the strength in the Queen, for instance, than in the Lover. If you like, try listening to Hymne à la Femme by Vangelis, and see how you can call out your Queenly strength as you move to the music.

OK, let’s try it out now.

Take 30 seconds to breathe and get into your body. Now, tell me, what’s your energy like right now? Can you tell what part of your rhythm you’re in, or what archetype you want to tap into? Tell me below in the comments!

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How to stop overwhelm in its tracks

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Stress, time poverty, and overwhelm has become incredibly common among women — in fact, it’s almost become a badge of honour!

And it’s no wonder. In a society where we’re largely expected to function linearly, exactly like men (although our biology is totally different), not to mention the association of busyness with personal value and the constant barrage of “Do more, be more, have more,” overwhelm isn’t a possibility … it’s pretty much a guarantee.

It doesn’t have to be this way, of course — that’s one of the biggest things we teach at One of Many, a different way of being that plays up your natural advantages as a woman. But this is a process, and sometimes you need something to deal with the overwhelm right now!

Enter my process for stopping overwhelm in its tracks:

Step one: STOP

Seriously, just stop whatever you’re doing. When you’re in a state of overwhelm, there’s no point in trying to push yourself forwards; you’ll most likely end up doing more harm than good. So as soon as you notice that you’re overwhelmed — maybe you’ll start crying, or get angry or anxious, maybe your back goes out — just stop.

Step two: nurture

I’ve got this theory that the frontal lobe of the brain (the bit that makes the decisions) can only make a certain number of decisions in any one period of time. Any more than that, and you hit a wall and go into overwhelm.

When you hit this point, think of it like there’s a little hurting child inside of you who’s exhausted. She stayed up too late playing with her friends, and she’s wasted. She had too much sugar, and she missed her afternoon nap, and stayed up late watching the fireworks or whatever it was, and now, she’s overwhelmed.

What do you naturally do for this little girl? You don’t berate her for being unproductive or shout at her for crying, you comfort her! So as soon as you stop whatever it is you were doing, go into your Mother archetype and give some lovely, nurturing energy to that little girl. This is absolutely vital, so don’t skip this step!

Step three: prioritise

After you’ve been in your Mother archetype and grounded down a bit more into your breath and your body, you can take a look at all the things you have to do. Now, there’s a longer process that you can go through with this that I teach step by step in BeFruitful, but the highlights are to list out absolutely everything that you have to do, then prioritise all that stuff — and for many of the things on the list, the priority is going to be “extremely low” to “never”. Your whole focus now is on getting extremely focused on only those things you must do right now.

Once you’ve narrowed your list down by chucking things that don’t really need to be done and deciding to delegate anything you possibly can, then you prioritise everything that’s left according to ABC:

Absolutely must be done today

Bloody nice if it gets done today

Could do it today

Step four: replenish

Next, leave your list alone and go do something else. I know, it goes against the grain if you’re used to pushing through, but you have got to replenish yourself a bit before you can even think of starting to work again. So go have a cup of tea, take a bath, take a walk … do something for at least 20 minutes that’s going to nurture you a bit. Again, this is really important, so don’t skip this step!

Step five: start eating the elephant

Finally, once you’ve replenished, you can have another look at your list. If there aren’t any “As” on it, then the best thing you can do is to call it for the day. Just give yourself the afternoon off, answer the very clear call from your body to stop and rest for a while.

If you do have some “A”s, then start on just one tiny thing off that list. Remember the old saying about eating an elephant? You can’t eat an elephant in one mouthful, but you can if you do it one bite at a time. So do it like that — just take one bite, and then do a little replenish, and then take another bite.

Why not practice now? List out one way that you can replenish yourself in the comments below … and then do it, whether you’re feeling overwhelmed or not!