Hi Mary! Tell us what you do, in a nutshell
I work with women going through divorce to help them feel confident about their finances, giving them clarity and peace of mind.
Give us the “big why” you feel called to do this work:
My mother was in a very unhappy marriage and couldn’t leave because she had no money in her own right. I saw the power that money, and knowledge about your money, gives you. It doesn’t necessarily make you happy. But it gives you options that may not be available to you otherwise.
What does your daily routine look like?
I love a nice lazy start to the morning with tea in bed, and my 2 spoilt springer spaniels allowed up on the bed. It gives me a good start to the day without frantically rushing around from the start. I have breakfast (always) & then start work around 8 am.
I take time off during the day to take a dog walk by the river/ go to the gym, and usually work till about 6 pm. Then it’s some form of relaxation: bath/gym/ dinner with friends
What demands do you balance every day in conjunction with your work?
I balance running a demanding, successful business versus taking some downtime for myself.
I find it too easy to pour all my energy into work and then realise I haven’t looked after myself enough.
How do you feel about women’s “lot” these days?
It’s important to get as much help as you can. I delegate or outsource as much as possible so I can then have free time to actually do the things I want to. It makes such a difference to my enjoyment that I am not doing things I don’t enjoy. It also means I’m not doing things that drain my energy, and I don’t end up feeling resentful about the things I’m doing.
How do femininity and Soft Power feature in your business/ career?
When I first did my Women’s PowerTypes Profile, I discovered that my scores on the Queen and Lover PowerTypes were very low for me.
Because I found it challenging to access my “Queen” PowerType, I didn’t set good boundaries with the people around me. I was very much set on being a people pleaser, and keeping everyone else happy – sometimes at my own expense.
My Lover score was low for a similar reason. I was too busy spending my time and energy on others, rather than on taking good care of myself.
Since completing the 12-month Lead the Change program with One of many I’ve been able to not only understand why I had experienced the challenges I did, but take steps to find more balance, and address these issues in a sustainable way.
What is the most common emotion you feel on a day-to-day basis?
On the good days, sheer joy, delight and gratitude that I have the life I have, and that I can experience the growth I can through personal development.
Do you think you people around you (on social media, and face to face) understand who you authentically are?
On social media, probably not. I read posts but don’t often contribute, since I find social media can be too big a time stealer!
But face to face, yes, absolutely. You get what you see.
How important do you think vulnerability is in life and career?
I think it’s really important to be open and honest – to ask for help when you need it, and open up if you have queries or issues. I’ve been vulnerable in meetings when I haven’t known the answer to a question that a client has asked me. I just admitted it and said I’d find out and get back to them. To me, being honest and vulnerable instead of pretending to have all the answers is much more important than just bluffing. Apart from anything, you will often get caught out!
What do you do for SoftPlay? How do you look after yourself?
To be honest, I haven’t done anywhere near as much Soft Play as I would like. Last year I did some things to get me outside my comfort zone – like having dinner on my own, and going to the theatre on my own. I also took singing lessons, which was a big deal – highly uncomfortable for someone who believed they couldn’t sing!
This year I’m concentrating on doing things to have fun. I’m going to do classes in aerial hoop, aerial Pilates, and try pottery.
How do you juggle your relationship and business?
My husband and I both work from home. So, on good days we can go out for dog walk together, or have lunch.
If not, we will at least generally have some form of communication during the day. I’m also planning to set aside a minimum of one working day each month that we both take off so that we can go out and have some fun.
How do you think tapping into your femininity (playing to your strengths as a woman), has impacted your relationships?
Prior to Lead The Change, my only PowerType was Superwoman! I see now how totally off-putting that can be in many situations. It’s great to be able to use the different PowerTypes as and when required.
My clients are almost exclusively women in difficult emotional situations. So all of the different Women’s PowerTypes come into play at various stages of our working relationship, and help us to achieve the results my clients want with much more ease.
What’s one “breakthrough” you have had in your life, that shifted the way you saw things – how did it impact those around you?
I’ve gone from being Superwoman, having to win and achieve at all costs, to now concentrating on enjoying my experiences and having fun. I expect I’m much easier to live with! Since Superwoman also tended to want everyone else around her to have superpowers, too…
Who do you look up to as a woman?
So many of the beautiful women I’ve met on Lead The Change who’ve faced their issues, and come out the other side shining.
What are your sources of inspiration?
Same as above! I look at these women, and think “if they can do it, so can I”
What do you tell yourself when times are tough?
Although it can be very hard sometimes, I concentrate on the fact the Universe/God knows what’s best for you. You might not think it at the time, but it is all part of a divine plan.
What’s the soundtrack of inspiration for you?
“This is me” from Greatest Showman
Who have you listened to lately that motivated you to take action on something, anything? And why?
I love Jo’s Soft PowerCast on “your body is your compass”. It reminds me I have all the answers inside myself as to what’s right for me.
(If you’d like to listen to this and the other Soft Powercasts, you can access them at no cost when you join the BeOne community. Click here to enter your details and access this and a ton of other resources, absolutely free.)
What are you doing to help elevate the women of developing nations?
I’m a patron for The Hunger Project, who help to end poverty and hunger in developing nations by empowering women to change their communities.
Recovering superwoman | Dog obsessed | Never too old to change
Mary is a chartered accountant and chartered financial planner – one of only a handful of advisers in the whole of the UK with these qualifications. She’s passionate about changing the way women think about finance, so that they are better equipped to make informed decisions about their future.
You can find Mary online at the following links:
Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/marywaring