One of Many

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Guest blog: How to build inner confidence

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Helen Reynolds
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Helen Reynolds
Image Consultant | Professional Shopper | Blogger | Mum of two boys | Sock Washer |Confidence Booster
Helen Reynolds
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Equipping you with the tools you need to go out and make positive change happen is our number one goal. And one vital tool that we could all do with a bit more of is confidence – the kind that lights us up from the inside.

As a gender, on average, we are far less confident than the average man. Lower confidence levels mean that we are far less likely to take the brave, crucial, and damn difficult, first steps needed to make the progress that our world needs.

How to build inner confidence

Why is this? Well, there is lots in the mixing pot, from our likelihood of suffering from imposter syndrome, to the effect of the media and the way we beat ourselves up about not being ‘perfect’ enough.

Sadly, it’s a fact that the way we feel about how we look impacts the level of confidence we have. If you aren’t happy with how you look on the outside, especially if you don’t feel that the clothes you wear truly represents the you on the inside, it can monkey with your confidence.

If you’ve ever had that horrible sensation of not ‘looking the part’ you know that it can prevent you from having the courage to ask for a promotion, get out and meet people, or take on a job that involves regular board meetings or speaking engagements. This is wrong, but it’s also fact.

Having ‘What the heck am I going to wear today?’ squared away FOR LIFE means having one less thing to worry about, and brings with it the confidence of knowing that you always look authentically yourself.

So, how to get this sorted?

Well, when Jo wanted to deal with this herself she asked me for my help. And today I want to share the advice I gave her – and my other clients – when it came to creating a signature style that would really help her to have the biggest impact.

I’ve created this video to help you learn how to develop a ‘personal style’ that reflects your personality and makes choosing the right outfit for the right occasion effortless.

You’ll discover:

• Why some clothes, no matter how nice or expensive they are, make you feel terrible.
• The 3 steps you can take today to figure out your personal style.
• How to get your image sorted for life, so that you can get on with everything else!

Here it is….

 

There’s something truly empowering about knowing that you look the best version of yourself, without having to resort to spending a fortune, or slavishly following fashion.

So you can carry on being the leader you are here to be.

 

About Helen Reynolds

Helen Reynolds: How to build inner confidenceHelen Reynolds is one of our BeFruitful mentors, and works personally with Jo to put together her powerful outfits for the stage.

As an image consultant she’s helped hundreds of women to turbo-boost their personal style and develop killer confidence. Her speciality is in helping women who have lost their way with style and need a boost find clothes they love – and which love them back.

Time to get your style sorted?

If you’d like an easy way to get this stuff sorted out, and learn more, why not join Helen at her ‘Get Your Style Sorted!’ Masterclass in London on 12th of May. Helen has been running this annual event for the past five years and plenty of women in our community have attended.

Not only is it a great day out, but you’ll come away knowing the fundamental lessons that you need to create a personal style for yourself. Having this stuff nailed takes the stress out of shopping and ends wondering what to wear FOR LIFE.

To get £27 off the usual ticket price (and bring a friend for half price!) click here to book your ticket.

This will be an awesome day out, and a fantastic opportunity to spend some time on yourself in the company of great women, so, don’t miss out on the opportunity to get your style sorted!

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How to increase your confidence by putting yourself first

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Helen Reynolds
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Helen Reynolds
Image Consultant | Professional Shopper | Blogger | Mum of two boys | Sock Washer |Confidence Booster
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Guest Post by Helen Reynolds

Oxygen.

Water.

Food.

Shelter.

Love.

Friendship.

A beautifully cut jacket.

My hierarchy of needs runs somewhat differently from Maslow’s version.

You might laugh, or think ‘that’s ridiculous!’ And, yes, to some extent it is ridiculous! But, I know that in order to be happy, I HAVE to feel confident about how I look on the outside. I HAVE to feel looked after.

My family is composed of two teenage boys and a hard-working, globe-trotting husband, so, like many women, I have come to realise that if I’m going to feel looked after, it’s me who has to take the steps needed to make that happen.

As a professional image consultant, I meet incredible women every day; each one of them is unique. But, my clients have one huge thing in common: they’ve been putting themselves at the bottom of the list for a very long time. Of course, at times – when you are firefighting a barrage of family or work commitments – salon visits or exercise time have to be shelved. But, when you make this a way of life, it has a damaging effect on your soul.

The process that I go through when working with women is sometimes quite a revealing one. It’s not coaching, but I usually find out a lot about what makes each individual tick.

What I often discover is that, under the veneer of successful, professional person, lurks someone who feels uncomfortable in her own skin. Someone desperately unhappy with the way she looks. Someone who is often hyper-stressed or tearful about getting dressed for a big event, and who on occasion refuses invitations because she doesn’t feel confident enough in her clothes to attend. This breaks my heart.

To me, having a great outfit is about more than vanity. It’s got NOTHING to do with competing with other women, or having to look the part on the school run. It’s about looking after yourself. Letting your clothes show the authentic ‘you’ on the inside. Using what you have in your wardrobe to build your confidence and act as the armour you need to go into battle and make change happen.

Thankfully the times when being ashamed or feeling guilty about looking after our own needs are almost behind us. And, nothing makes me gladder than to see ‘self-care’, ‘filling your own cup’, ‘fitting your own oxygen mask first’, etc moving up the agenda for women.

Taking care of yourself if vital. I can’t put it better than Jo did in her recent article about how to create your own self-care plan. But, what I can do is add to the debate and end the shaming of women who like to look after themselves by outing myself!

So, in the interest of openness and female solidarity, here are the things that I enjoy doing when I take a little time for myself:

  • Regular haircuts and colour – I ALWAYS rebook when I leave the salon, otherwise I struggle to make time to ring for another appointment
  • Gym time – I’m not really ‘driven’ about exercising, but I know that my mood always lifts when I’ve done something active. If I can’t get there three times a week, I’ll prioritise a walk around the block.
  • Wardrobe management – (I know, it’s my job, but I still love it!!!) I spend time thinking about what’s in my wardrobe, where the holes are and identifying what I need to buy to make outfits complete.
  • Watching TV – I watch a lot of ‘non-intellectual’ TV programmes. I LOVE them. Some of them are woefully dreadful but they help me to wind down. Sue me.
  • Massage – I’m not talking about spa massage, but I regularly visit my local professional masseuse. Otherwise stress goes straight to my shoulder and it starts to hurt.

Having these things as my ‘go-to’ activities, just for me, mean that I am a much better mum, wife, daughter and friend. When I’ve made time in my schedule for what is important to me I’m genuinely happy to prioritise the things that are important to my family and friends, like visiting Homebase or hanging off a zip-wire. And, I am more available for everyone else without that nagging feeling that I’d prefer to be watching X Factor or sorting through my vest tops.

If you’d like to change things up, get to grips with your personal style and give your confidence a turbo-boost, why not join Helen at her fantastic Masterclass: Get Your Style Sorted! On 13th May 2017, in central London.

You can get your hands on an early-bird ticket until 24th of April 2017, when the price will increase. Helen only runs this event once per year, and places are limited, so if you want a bargain, book now!

Visit >>>> http://www.helenreynoldsstyle.com/masterclass-jm/

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3 Tips for Dressing the Best Version of You

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Helen Reynolds
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Helen Reynolds
Image Consultant | Professional Shopper | Blogger | Mum of two boys | Sock Washer |Confidence Booster
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Something I started to notice in my twenties (way before I trained to become an image consultant), is how my behaviour changes according to how I feel I look on any given day.

Back then I worked in glossy magazines where the workforce was impossibly glamorous and fashionable. I’d just graduated from Uni and had spent three years in jeans and t-shirts. I very quickly realised that a pair of black trousers and a blouse combination wasn’t going to cut it.

I spent more and more time looking at clothes, buying ‘trendier’ pieces and shopping for more expensive labels in my attempt to look the part.

Sometimes I got it just right and on those days I would bounce along the road to the tube with my head held high. I would speak out in meetings and people would listen. Often my ideas were the ones to be implemented. That felt great.

On other days, I would put on another new and gorgeous outfit and look in the mirror and just know that it didn’t work for me. I didn’t know why, but my conclusion was that* I* wasn’t good enough (read thin enough, cool enough, pretty enough…) to wear such a fabulous outfit.

On those days I would lose the spring in my step, I would stay quiet in meetings and be largely ignored. On those days I felt invisible and my confidence was low.

I now know why those clothes were never going to suit me. Getting to grips with my authentic style has helped me to appreciate the hugely powerful effect of feeling good about the way you look.

This is my philosophy.

The way you look affects the way you feel.

The way you feel affects the way you behave.

The way you behave *affects the way people *react to you.

The way people react to you in the first instance is influenced by the way you look – sad but true.

One of the things I love about being an image consultant is when other women start to understand and implement this philosophy too. Putting consideration into what you wear is not a frivolous or ‘fluffy’ undertaking; by accurately portraying the ‘inside you’ on the outside, you tend to get the results you want. This is what was happening to me in my magazine job when my ideas were accepted.

This concept compliments the One of Many Soft Power ethos: we are soft and strong; we indulge ourselves and celebrate our gorgeous femininity; we are nurturing and we set boundaries.

Since I discovered this wonderful community, I’m more conscious of the ways in which I can nurture and support the women I work with. I do this by giving my clients the space to appreciate their bodies and learn how to recognise and draw out their individual style.

So, whether you’re looking for quick and easy ideas of how to look great on the stage; some new pieces to update your wardrobe; or a makeover after becoming a mum, my top tip is to discover the outfits that make you feel like the very best version of you. Then you can feel great wherever you are going and whatever you are doing.

3 tips for dressing the best version of you.

  1. Notice when you feel good in an outfit and check out the component parts carefully in a full length mirror. Can you tell which element or elements of the outfit are making the biggest difference? Is it the cut of the clothes, the fabric, the colour, the jewellery? The more you are able to tune into what’s making the difference, the easier it is for you to replicate and embrace it.
  2. Have a good sort out of your wardrobe. See what’s lurking inside that you forgot you had. Try new and different combinations of clothes and notice how they make you feel. To help you with this feel free to download my Ultimate Wardrobe Cheat Sheet which guides you through exactly what your wardrobe should contain to guarantee stress-free mornings and easy dressing.
  3. Come along to ‘Get Your Style Sorted’ on Saturday 21st May at London’s Waldorf Hotel, where I’ll be sharing exactly how you can discover your unique style, how to flatter your particular body shape and showing you how to have fun with accessories to finish off your outfits in the most gorgeous way for you. Because we are all beautifully different. And that’s ok! What works for your friend will not necessarily work for you. When you know exactly what your style is, life becomes easier, your confidence soars and, you find it easier to step into your femininity and be authentically you.
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What Should You Wear?

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Helen Reynolds
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Image Consultant | Professional Shopper | Blogger | Mum of two boys | Sock Washer |Confidence Booster
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When you get invited to speak at an event or to deliver a presentation to your team, is ‘What should I wear?’ one of your first thoughts?

Knowing what to wear for any situation that’s even remotely formal can be really stressful on its own, but that stress is often compounded by our preconceived ideas about what we should wear.

I’m saying enough! 

I’m going to challenge the ‘shoulding’ in this equation and empower you to dress in a way that makes you feel amazing and perfectly appropriate for the occasion.

Dress for you, no one else

When you feel great in your clothes, you automatically relax. You behave more authentically so the world gets to see the real you, rather than you in disguise!

Each one of us has different colouring, a different body shape and we suit different styles, so there’s no one-size-fits-all recipe for an outfit for any given occasion.

And what makes matters worse is that we don’t get taught this stuff at school or college; we are left to figure it out by ourselves through trial and error.

Some women find their way fairly quickly and just seem to always look fabulous. But it’s not that simple for most women: shopping becomes a real drag, and they hide away in the same old black stuff thinking that at least if it’s black then it can’t be wrong.

It really doesn’t need to be this way. 

You CAN bend the rules on what you feel you should be wearing to find outfits that make you look and feel like the very best version of you.

Know your style

I’d like to open your eyes to some more exciting possibilities that might just transform the way you approach your wardrobe.

But before you can know your style, you need to know what your options are. There are four essential style categories:

Classic – Smart, tailored and neutral.

Dramatic – Edgy, colourful, statement dressing.

Girly – Soft and pretty styles.

Natural – Casual and comfortable looks.

Whoever you are, whatever your colouring or body shape, you’ll suit a particular combination of these styles. Some women can wear all four in different proportions, while others find that one or two of the styles just doesn’t suit. them at all.

More than just looks

Sure, dressing well will make you look great. But more importantly the right outfit will make you feel more confident and enhance your wonderful personality. Delivering a presentation dressed in clothes that are perfect for you will not only make you feel more confident but also help you to build rapport with your audience.

Outfit Inspiration

Try out one of my formulas for dressing for an important business occasion:

  1. A well cut pair of trousers with a silky blouse and a beautiful necklace. This look is somewhat softer than a suit or a structured dress, but just as smart.
  2. A textured pencil skirt and a great quality T-shirt with a beautiful necklace. If your authentic style is more natural, you can get away with wearing a T-shirt for a more formal occasion but it needs to be great quality and dressed up with accessories.
  3. A blank canvas dress. This is an item that you can dress up or down to suit the occasion, but it is a fairly relaxed style. Check out my video on the subject for more inspiration.

So ladies please, please throw away any pre-conceived ideas of what you should wear and start tuning into the styles that make you look and feel authentic and gorgeous.

And if you need a helping hand, there’s good news! 

I’m sharing exactly how you can ‘Get Your Style Sorted’ at a one day workshop on Saturday 3rd October. I’ll teach you how to decipher the styles and shapes that are right for you, how to perfectly accessorise your outfits and lots, lots more.

For full details click here!

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5 Ways to Spoil Yourself (and be proud of it.)

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Helen Reynolds
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It’s Wednesday. It’s a gorgeously sunny day. The whole country is on a mission to enjoy it to the MAX before the torrential downpour scheduled for tomorrow.

What am I doing?

I’m in my office typing this and frantically preparing for my next workshop on Saturday. To say I wasn’t getting the best out of the weather, is a huge understatement.

At lunchtime I decided to squeeze in a bit of outdoor time, so I popped outside to eat my salad for ten minutes when this thought crossed my mind:

‘I won’t bother to get the chair cushions out, it’s not worth it just for me.’

Do you have thoughts like that too?

The majority of women, at least among my friends and clients, have this peculiar idea. The idea that any standard of living above what is routinely offered is somehow too much of a ‘luxury’, or that we are ‘spoilt’ if we look after ourselves.

So, you get into situations where you think:

“Oh, just me for dinner tonight, I won’t bother to cook anything. I’ll just have toast.” And: “I don’t have anything nice to wear, but it doesn’t matter because the kids look cute. No one’s looking at me anyway.”

This is wrong.

It may seem superficial, but we need to factor little ‘treats’ into our daily routine. If we don’t, it can have a massive impact on self-esteem. Many of my clients are suffering terribly from a lack of self esteem by the time they get into my studio, and the results can be debilitating. Women turning down invitations because they’ve got nothing to wear, or resorting to wearing ancient tracksuit bottoms and hoodies (like prisoners) because ‘at least they fit’.

By constantly putting your (often quite basic) needs last, you are doing yourself a disservice. If you have kids, it’s even more important to do things for yourself. Your children need to know that their mother is a human being with the same rights as everyone else! What sort of an adult are they going to be if they don’t realise that now?

Every morning, at the school gates at “drop-off” mums get together while waiting for the bell to go, as mums do across the country, and discuss what we might have planned for the day. So many women are mortally embarrassed if they are forced to admit that they are off to have their hair cut or that they are popping into town to get some shoes. As if taking two hours off work or housework is something to be ashamed of.

What is the alternative? Walk around barefoot? Grow hair so long it’s impossible to see out?

The most ironic thing of all is, you think you’re being judged if you spoil yourself a little. Trust me, most people will hardly notice! Having a monthly pedicure is not going to set local tongues wagging with fierce debate on whether you secretly think you’re J-Lo.

So, in the interest of openness and female solidarity, here are the things that I enjoy doing when I take a little time for myself:

Regular haircuts and colour – I ALWAYS rebook when I leave the salon, otherwise I struggle to make time to ring for another appointment

Gym time – I’m not really ‘driven’ about exercising, but I know that my mood always lifts when I’ve done something active. If I can’t get there three times a week, I’ll prioritise a walk around the block.

Wardrobe management – (I know, it’s my job, but I still love it!!!) I spend time thinking about what’s in my wardrobe, where the holes are and identifying what I need to get to make outfits complete.

Watching TV – I watch a lot of ‘non-intellectual’ TV programmes. I LOVE them. Some of them are woefully dreadful but they help me to wind down. Sue me.

Massage – I’m not talking about spa massage, but I regularly visit my local professional masseuse. Otherwise stress goes straight to my shoulder and it starts to hurt.

Having these things as my ‘go-to’ activities, just for me, mean that I am a much better mum, wife, daughter and friend. When I’ve made time in my schedule for what is important to me I’m really happy to spend the rest of my time doing the things that are important to my family and friends, like visiting Homebase or sticking cardboard boxes together. I am more available for everyone else without that nagging feeling that I’d prefer to be watching X Factor or sorting through my vest tops.

So, let’s hear your thoughts. How do you spoil yourself? I’d love to open the debate here. Let’s all come out of the closet on this one – without shame! Add your comments below.

 

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3 simple steps to dressing with confidence

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Helen Reynolds
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Helen Reynolds
Image Consultant | Professional Shopper | Blogger | Mum of two boys | Sock Washer |Confidence Booster
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  • Do you feel overwhelmed by the choice of clothes on the High Street?

  • Do you feel underwhelmed when you open your own wardrobe?

  • Would you like the whole ‘what shall I wear’ conundrum to be simplified?

Being comfortable in your own skin and knowing your style is something that too many women struggle with these days. The plethora of choice, the often conflicting advice in glossy magazines, and of course, the unrealistically shaped celebrities all add fuel to the fire.

The sad truth is that we are judged on our appearance. It’s not right and it’s not always even a conscious judgement, but it happens. First impressions are formed in a nanosecond.  We know that it’s who you are inside that really matters, but we are all guilty of judging books by their covers.

I view clothes as our packaging. Your packaging should be as wonderful as you are. There is no doubt that when we know we look good we behave more confidently and in turn people react to us in a more positive way.

A client who is single (and open to finding a partner) noticed that after working with me on her style she started to get more attention from men. Whether it’s the new look or her renewed sense of confidence that has made the difference we may never know, but it is a powerful thing.

home-image3The problem with style is that there is no one-rule-fits-all formula – and that’s because we are all so beautifully unique.home-image2What looks amazing on your friend may well look dreadful on you but it’s not because you aren’t good enough, it’s because you suit different things.

Before I trained to become an Image Consultant, I didn’t know any of this. When a gorgeous dress looked awful on me I assumed it was because I wasn’t pretty enough or thin enough or cool enough to wear it. Now I know that’s rubbish.

Understanding the colours, the shapes and the styles that LOVE YOU BACK is the key to looking and feeling amazing.

Here are 3 steps you can take to start finding clothes that love you back.

  1. Tune Into Colour

Some colours will wash you out and others will bring a lovely glow to your complexion. Helen renyolds_blog pic3When you are mixing colours close to your face or wearing a pattern, start looking at whether highly contrasting colours suit you or if a softer, tone on tone colour mix works best.

To work this out, consider the amount of contrast you have in your colouring. If your hair, skin and eyes are a similar colour and there is a softness about your colouring, you will most likely find that tone-on-tone colours work best for you (so choose similarly dark or light colours together). If your hair is much darker than your skin tone and you have bright eyes, you probably suit highly contrasting colours more (i.e. dark and light together). Play around with this and see which works best for you. It can make a gorgeous difference.

 

  1. Know Your Body ShapeHelen renyolds_blogimage1

Dressing for your body shape is an in-depth subject with lots of intricacies but a very simple rule to follow is to wear clothes that are the same shape as you are.

If you are curvy with a definite waist (regardless of your size) choose dresses, jackets and tops that have curved seams and necklines. They will be more likely to fit you properly and will show off your shape in a good way.

If your figure is straighter – angular shoulders, no waist, flatish bottom, choose clothes with straight seams and necklines. These shapes go with your shape, fit well and make you look streamlined.

 

  1. Wear Print with Caution

Whilst it’s true that print can cleverly disguise extra inches it can also draw attention to the part of your body that it is covering. If you are pear shaped (you cHelen renyolds_blogpic2arry your weight on your bottom and thighs) and you wear print on your bottom half with a plain dark top you will emphasise your pear shaped-ness. This is because all eyes will be drawn to your embellished bottom! By reversing this (plain dark bottom half and patterned top), you can keep the eyes on your smaller top half and minimise your behind. Obviously if you are top heavy rather than bottom heavy you can reverse this rule.

Another note on print items – you must, must, must wear one that is the right scale (or size) for you. There is a lot to consider when choosing the perfect print for you but for starters understand that a small print on a big tummy (or bust, or bottom…) will make it look bigger.

 

If you’d like to discover more of the ins and outs of style so that you can shop more confidently and build up a wardrobe of clothes that you love, connect with Helen Reynolds.