One of Many

Woman looking to create change

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One of many Voices: Felicity Wingrove

By

Wendy Harrington

Latest posts by Wendy Harrington (see all)

With three businesses, a busy household and a passion for living life on her own terms, Felicity Wingrove is a force to be reckoned with. In her words “I get shit done better than almost anyone else I know”

A self-confessed linguistics geek, she’s also a One of many Certified Trainer and powerful advocate for women’s empowerment at work and home. We asked Felicity to give us a candid look at what life’s really like behind the scenes, and her secrets to finding balance.

What do you do?

I run my own PR and content creation agency; speak, train and coach C-suite executives to discover their own personal power and to take control of how they’re perceived in all areas of their lives; I’m mum to two delicious little ones (Arabella is 15 months and Alexander is four); and I act as an Associate in my partner’s business, coaching SME business owners and running a Mastermind group.

Give us a daily routine (or a normal day in the life of you)…

I genuinely co-parent with my partner so I’m up by 6am all week (and usually weekends too). Half the week I’m straight off to work and at my desk by 7am, the other half I’m corralling a toddler and a pre-schooler into clothes, feeding brekkie and trying to blank out the strains of Peppa Pig.

Four days a week I work from my agency. A working day usually lasts until 6pm, and I can be anywhere in the country – taking briefings, crafting strategy, or working with my team.

Friday (or ‘mummy day’ as clients, team and everyone else knows it) I’m with my little ones, and usually covered in mud, paint or water. We have a *lot* of fun and I’m careful to be really present with them. And weekends are sacred family time. Walks, adventures, trips out, meals together, snuggles on the sofa, that sort of thing.

How do you feel about women’s “lot” these days?

I feel frustrated by this. I ‘get’ that many women have to carry the emotional load of the family. One of my team, for example, has a husband who will do whatever she wants. Need the kids taking to school? He’ll do it with a smile. But she’s the one who has to remember that it’s dress-up day, or that they need £2 for a charity something, or whatever it might be. I’m not doing that down, as I know that lots of women have the same experience, but I chose not to and that required some really honest conversations with my partner before we had kids.

After all, I’m really good at what I do, and I’ve worked really hard to get really good. But I also desperately wanted kids and didn’t want to miss out on that side of life too. To ‘have it all’ I needed someone who would be happy to pick up the other side for me. And my other half did (and does).

On a Friday when I’m mummy, he’s running his business and doing what he needs to do, but mid-week mornings when I need to be suited and booted and off kicking arse somewhere, he’s on the nursery run. And I don’t pack the kids’ bags for him – he’s an intelligent guy and perfectly capable of working out that it’s sunny so they may need sunglasses…

My – controversial I know – opinion, is that we as women have created our own significance from being so essential to the running of our homes and families. ‘I go away for a day and the whole thing falls apart’ is a martyr-esque cry in my mind, and a badge of honour.

Maybe it’s because I’m from a business background (I’m ex-corporate) but a business that can’t run without me is a sign of abject failure on my part. Hell, my entire goal with my own business is to make myself completely dispensable and for my team to be empowered to thrive without me. And while I’m not advocating that for women at home, I love the fact that my home works without me, albeit that it can still bring out vulnerability sometimes.

Let’s face it, it’s tough to be ‘managed without’ but I look to the example that I’m setting my son and my daughter and it’s worth the odd wobble, the odd tears en route to a meeting, or the odd tummy lurch when my daughter reaches for Daddy first. Tomorrow it’s just as likely to be me first and isn’t it great that he’s so important in her life too. And when it all gets a bit much, well then we have the PowerType Release Process 😉

How does femininity and Soft Power feature in your business/ career? What does it look like?

I used to be tough, and hard and even a bit brittle. I was the ex cage fighter that Jo talks about at conference… Soft was weak, and yielding made me feel a bit sick. Discovering One of many changed all that. I stopped pushing so hard at everything and chilled the **** out!

Soft power has allowed me to be softer but still unapologetic. Not aggressive by any stretch but I know my worth, my value and also my boundaries, and they’re non-negotiable. I lead from soft power and while I’ll always enjoy my Warrioress yang energy, I also see the real benefit of bringing yin to the boardroom. I work almost exclusively with men, and in masculine sectors such as manufacturing, engineering and tech. Tapping into my genuine femininity allows me to communicate authentically with them. I’m more compelling and inspiring as a result.

What is the most common emotion you feel as a woman on a day-to day basis?

Excitement. We have never had so much opportunity – to see, feel, hear, taste, touch and experience. To lead and to be led into new adventures. To inspire. To shape the world exactly as we wish and need. To bring up the next generation and to learn from those before us. We’re connected like never before.

What’s the soundtrack of inspiration for you?

Oh my gosh, I *love* music. This Is Me reminds me of the Trainers’ Certification and the gorgeous ladies I shared that journey with. Thunder by Imagine Dragons makes me want to conquer the world. Havana by Camila Cabello makes me want to get up and dance. My theme tune though would probably be something like Best Day of My Life, or Reach by S Club 7!

Thanks, Felicity!

Ready to start your journey?

If you’re curious about Lead the Change and would like to find out more about this life-changing women’s leadership program, book a call with the office by clicking here. We’d love to answer your questions and share more about the program.

About Felicity

Psycholinguist | Corporate survivor | Ex-cage fighter

Felicity Wingrove is a coach, speaker and trainer as well as the founder of Zen Communications. Her work centers around giving others a voice, whether that’s helping professionals who are struggling to find theirs; working with awesome businesses who need to authentically position and market themselves; or supporting business owners who have a dream and just need the marketing (and sales) know-how to deliver it to those that matter.

She previously worked in a variety of senior communications positions, applying her language skills on behalf of some of the nation’s leading brands, organisations and associations. After time as Senior Communications Adviser for FTSE100 BAE Systems’ Air Systems, and Account Director at national PR agency Golley Slater, she launched her own consultancy in 2007. Now, she helps clients take positive control of how they’re perceived, truly own their space, and powerfully and ethically influence the people who matter the most to them.

Connect with her at the following links:

Twitter: @Felicity_ZenPR
Facebook page: Zen PR
Website: www.zen-communications.co.uk
Linked In: Felicity Wingrove

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If you feel disconnected…

By

Wendy Harrington

Latest posts by Wendy Harrington (see all)

One thing which makes the new paradigm of leadership distinct is the fact that it thrives not on competition – success despite others – but in collaboration and connection.

Success with and through others.

I was vividly awakened to the importance of this level of connection when I realised it was missing from my own life.

In my latest blog on joannamartin.com I’m sharing what I learned, and the steps I took to rectify the problem.

“I have a natural tendency to play solo. In the past, I’ve relied on my profound connection to Source – the universe, nature, the vision that pulls me forwards – for my connection needs, rather than other people.

I’d never seen that as a problem until I experienced really great connections in a new environment. But in that extraordinary setting, I experienced a depth of connection, and a feeling of such motivation to deepen and grow my work, that I became vividly aware of what I was missing.”

Click here to read the full article – and do share, if you’ve experienced something similar.

Leave a comment and let’s connect.

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One of many Voices: Shona Easton

By

Wendy Harrington

Latest posts by Wendy Harrington (see all)

Shona Easton is a designer and business owner whose bright and beautiful handbags and accessories help successful women stand out. Her quality, ethical accessories are made in India by women she works closely with in her workshop and her commitment to making a difference also shines through in her more recent charity work.

We asked her to share some of her inspiration and give us an insight into what her life is like “behind the scenes”, doing such diverse work.

Tell us what you do – how do you fill your days?

Dreaming up new ideas, designing, selling and marketing ethically made handbags, purses, and wallets.

My workshop is in rural India – where the women from the local village are employed to make handbags and leather goods. Before the workshop moved there, there was little prospect of finding jobs locally, especially for women (it’s a rice farming area). Now they have learned many new skills, they work near their homes and see their families every day. And their kids get to go to school.

We also make other accessories, like the luggage tags you might have spotted at the One Woman Conference, and new doggy accessories – leads and collars so far, but we’re planning to expand.

I love creating accessories that are practical, in gorgeous bright colours, which as well as being useful, people love – and make their friends go ‘wow!’.

I love the fact that I can work from anywhere (I’m in France right now) and I work when I want to – which is definitely not full time!

What demands do you balance every day in conjunction with your work?

As well as running my business, I’m a trustee of a charity I helped to set up ‘Care & Consideration With A Smile’, which helps people with a hidden disability. I became involved when I met the incredibly inspiring founder, Julie Luxton. She told me her story of how she became a person with a hidden disability.

Many people reacted to her by assuming she was drunk or stupid, when she was only trying to learn to speak again and walk again after her massive brain injury. So she wanted to form a new charity to raise awareness of people with hidden disabilities.

She inspired me to jump on board and help her get the charity going. I also have other friends and family members with hidden disabilities (most people do…eg, depression, anxiety, MS, stroke – anything you can’t actually ‘’see’) and so I really want to help get this cause out in the open and understood.

I spend time working on social media updates and going to meetings on behalf of the charity.

On top of that, I let out two properties on Airbnb, so there is also cleaning, washing and organizing for them. And I also make time to go out with friends and see family.

And then there’s the usual food shopping, cleaning and running a household.

How do you feel about women’s “lot” these days?

I think women’s ‘lot’ is what we make it. For example, I have a ‘traditional’ role at home. I organize the house, cooking, cleaning, etc. – but that really feels like my choice. I love cooking – it’s my main hobby, so I’m pleased that my husband doesn’t want to cook as then I’d have to share my kitchen with him! I do most of the life admin at home too but I’m happy with that.

I juggle the many demands by not trying to fit in too much. One of many has definitely helped with this. I am reminded to have me-time and soft play, and I’ve definitely started saying no to things that previously I would have said yes to.

What is the most common emotion you feel as a woman on a day-to-day basis?

Happy! I am very lucky – I have a great life right now.

How important do you think vulnerability is in life and career? Have you ever been vulnerable in an uncomfortable (or usually unacceptable) situation?

I think that being vulnerable helps to remind you of how lucky you are. I was in India a couple of years ago, with my workshop guy, and our car broke down in the middle of the countryside early one evening on the way back to the city.

He left me by the car (not in it as he’d taken one wheel off) and I felt extremely vulnerable being a lone female beside the highway in the middle of nowhere. As it got dark I became very nervous, imagining all sorts of terrible things that could have happened.

What do you do for Soft Play? How do you look after yourself?

I don’t have a regular soft play slot but I count things like having a pedicure or other pamper session as soft play.

I love cooking and sometimes just spend a couple of hours inventing something – not a cooking session for necessary meals – just a play session for me. Of course, it ends with my having created something to eat, but I did it because I enjoy it and it relaxes me.

How do you juggle your relationship and business?

As my husband is now retired I do have to put my foot down and tell him ‘I’m at work now’ sometimes, so that he doesn’t interrupt me. But having him around has probably made me spend less time working, which is actually good as it means I’m more productive in the time that I do spend ‘at work’.

Who do you look up to as a woman?

Loads of inspirational women, including:

  • Malala Yousafzai for her dedication to the education of girls
  • Michelle Obama for juggling career, kids, charity and being very much in the public eye
  • Coco Chanel for some inspirational quotes – one of my favourites is ‘Luxury isn’t luxury unless it’s comfortable’.
  • Madonna, Adele and Kylie Minogue (and many more!) for showing us how to BE the Brand
  • Dame Maggie Smith for longevity in her career and how to adapt.

So many…

Where do you look for hope?

Looking for hope in the world and for the future: to change peoples attitude to waste – I look to FashionRevolution.org who are leading campaigners to end slave labour, child labour and promote fair wages in the garment and textile industry worldwide.

They inspired me to take the photos of my workshop ladies with the ‘I made your handbag/Purse/Wallet’ signs. They want people to ask – Who Made My Clothes? So that fashion businesses NEED to be transparent about what is really going on in their overseas factories.

For inspiration in business, I get ideas from finding beautiful fabrics and seeing amazing colours when I travel.

I also get inspired by being out in nature, looking at the beauty of the countryside or just gazing at water whether it’s a river, sea or a lake.

What do you tell yourself when times are tough?

Tomorrow is another day! My mantra is ‘Just be yourself’

What’s the soundtrack of inspiration for you?

Right now it’s Get Lucky by Daft Punk and Nile Rodgers. I saw Nile Rodgers live at Hampton Court Palace a couple of weeks ago and he shared how when the song came out he had just ‘got lucky’ and had the all clear from his cancer. Every time I hear it, I just want to get up and dance.

About Shona

World traveller | Stubborn dreamer | Early riser

Shona is Head Designer and Owner at Shona Easton Design Studio, making high-quality ethical handbags and accessories that help successful women stand out. From making her own clothes on her bedroom floor as a teenager, she went on to design for well-known brands including Next, Esprit, M&S, Banana Republic, and Gap, before setting up her own business. She’s passionate about changing attitudes to waste and promoting full transparency in the global fashion industry, and is also a trustee of the UK’s hidden disability charity “Care & Consideration With A Smile”.

You can find Shona online at the following links:

Twitter: @ShonaEaston

Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/ShonaEastonHandbags/

Website:  www.eastondesignstudio.com

And learn more about Care and Consideration With a Smile at:

Facebook: https://facebook.com/CareAndConsideration/

Twitter: @CareWithASmile

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The truth about burnout

By

Wendy Harrington

Latest posts by Wendy Harrington (see all)

I’m one of many women who know burnout first hand. In fact, once upon a time I’d been running on adrenaline for so long, I ended up in hospital. Which seems nuts to me, now that I know it is possible to be effective without getting swallowed up by everything on my plate. But I’m not alone.

Even if you’ve managed to avoid burnout yourself, I’m willing to bet you know someone who has experienced it – and she was likely a woman. A recent article by Alexandra Michel on Burnout and the Brain got me thinking about how important a topic this is, and re-presenced me to the imperative that we get a collective handle on it.

Frankly, there’s too much at stake for us not to.

In our current cohort of Lead the Change – our year long advanced leadership program – over 70% of our participants have been burned out, or nearly so.

Now that might be an anecdotal statistic. But simply as an observation, it frightens me a little. Because it signals just how common it is for incredibly talented women – ones with a massive contribution to make to the world – find ourselves utterly worn out and broken by the demands of the modern workplace.

And not every woman is able to access the kind of leadership support we offer here at One of many.

It’s an epidemic, and if we want more women leaders we need to recognize it, heal it and then change the culture that fosters it.

Burnout costs business serious talent

There’s plenty of research out there pointing to the positive impact having more women in senior leadership positions has in business.

And almost as much asking why corporations still struggle to achieve gender balance at the top level.

The Global Markets Institute at Goldman Sachs produced a report in 2018 that didn’t explicitly mention burnout.

But some of their findings spoke to me of burnout as an invisible issue.

For example, when considering the lack of women in senior roles, the research found:

“Our analysis of attrition among full-time working women indicates that well-educated women stop working full-time relatively early in their careers at a higher rate than similar men do. While the difference is relatively small at the start of their careers, it widens meaningfully as women grow older, peaking when women are in their early 40s.”

Now, of course, there is a whole range of factors why women might not want to continue in their careers. We might choose not to continue in full-time employment for a whole number of reasons.

But my hunch is that burnout, or the risk of it, has to play a part.

This amazing graphic sums up many of the findings of Michel’s article. One of the quotes I love from it is this:

“Burnout won’t look like we expect. Burnout will tell us “I’m bad at this” or “I don’t even like it or care about it”. This can cause people to abandon a career instead of seeking rest or support.”

How many hugely talented leaders step back because they think they’re simply not cut out for senior roles – when in fact, burnout’s the culprit?

A culture that fuels burnout

And yet many of the most highly valued professions seem to be moving towards increased pressure on their workforce.

A New York Times article in April this year highlighted the insanity of many industries’ expectation from those who work ‘full time’. In elite careers, like medicine or law, the amount that we’re expected to work has increased dramatically in recent years, to the point where being more or less constantly “on call” is almost a prerequisite.

“The returns to working long, inflexible hours have greatly increased. This is particularly true in managerial jobs and what social scientists call the greedy professions, like finance, law and consulting — an unintentional side effect of the nation’s embrace of a winner-take-all economy. It’s so powerful, researchers say, that it has canceled the effect of women’s educational gains.”

If burnout arises when the demands of a job outweigh the resources we have to cope with it, this shift to working ever-longer hours surely indicates a clear increase in risk.

Add in family and household demands and it seems fair to assume that many women who choose to step back from their careers might be making a pragmatic decision to avoid burnout.

And yet, the loss of those leaders has a significant impact on the talent available to businesses and organizations. To society as a whole, in fact.

Ironically, the women leaders who could be the very ones to change this culture are often the ones who find themselves disillusioned and stepping back from it altogether.

Healing a culture takes time

Changing the way we work isn’t a small project. It’s no coincidence that our mission at One of many is to equip one million women leaders. That’s probably only going to be the start of what it’s going to take to create the new way of working, living and leading we need to turn back the tide of burnout and overwhelm.

But it’s one that I’m convinced isn’t just worth doing. It’s essential if we’re going to be able to fully make the most of our capabilities to solve the massive challenges we’re facing.

Burnout and you

Have you experienced burnout? Are you there right now? Share a comment below and let us know – it’s going to take us all getting really honest about our experiences if we’re going to turn this ship around.

And if you’re struggling right now, a good place to start is by clicking here to download the free Overwhelm First Aid kit.

It’s the step by step resource you need when things start to feel like too much, with strategies to get you back on top and tips to get back to a more sustainable way of working.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Society 5.0 – Our final exam as leaders

By

Wendy Harrington

Latest posts by Wendy Harrington (see all)

At a recent event I learned about Society 5.0 – Japan’s new vision for the future of society. It’s a world where a digital layer is embedded in everything we do, from drones delivering parcels to robots assisting in manual work.

It’s exciting, sure, to think about the potential of such technology to rapidly transform society. But it also brings new and significant risks. In fact, I think this might just represent our “final exam” as leaders.

Are we really ready to step up?

The more I think about the huge potential – and risk – that goes with these developments, the more I feel that we really are being called to more. Much, much more perhaps than we’ve shown ourselves capable of so far.

In my latest blog on joannamartin.com I’m sharing my personal take on the issue.

“I came away from the event feeling inspired, excited… but also, pensive.

Are we qualified to take on this responsibility? Individually, collectively… globally?

Never in my life – not even as a student – have I been so present to the “this is it – this is the final exam” feeling that I feel now.

(And frankly, if I’d failed my med school finals, one person’s career direction hung in the mix. Mine. If we screw THIS exam up – well, we’re all screwed. Properly.)”

Click here to read the full article – and I’d love to know your thoughts on this new challenge.

Leave a comment and let me know.

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Feeling cynical about politics? How Michelle Obama and an ex-president changed my mind

By

Wendy Harrington

Latest posts by Wendy Harrington (see all)

Have you been feeling cynical about politics? Lately, it’s been hard not to feel sceptical about the quality of leadership we’re seeing in those at the helm of our nations.

Today, I shared some of my recent personal journey around feeling cynical about politics on joannamartin.com – here’s a taste of some of what I’ve been feeling.

“However much you’re personally involved in politics, it’s hard to avoid the sense that there’s been a shift in recent years. I’m sensing a very different kind of conversation amongst our leaders and it’s not a development that feels good.

To me, it’s starting to seem as though we’ve moved out of an era when our political leaders were motivated by a desire to be a good steward for the country they had the responsibility of leading. Where there was a sense of duty, and of responsibility for leaders to make wise decisions; show respect for their opponents; andact in ways they truly believed to be in the best interests of the people.

Today’s politics feels rather to be characterised by very different motivations.

A hunger for power at any cost.

Sensationalism.

And the use of fear, especially when trying to convince citizens of the need for a certain course of action.”

Click here to read the full article, and discover what I learned from recent opportunities to hear Michelle Obama and ex-president of Colombia Juan Manuel Santos share their views. I came away with a new perspective. How does it land with you?

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Why is women’s leadership important in our world?

By

Wendy Harrington

Latest posts by Wendy Harrington (see all)

Female leadership matters. All other considerations aside, it results in better performance. Studies have shown that companies with greater gender diversity, not just among the workforce as a whole but specifically among senior leaders, are more profitable. So, the answer to the question “why is women’s leadership important in our world?”, the answer is simple: it gives us better results.

But when it comes to stepping into our power as leaders, it’s clear that we face some pretty big challenges.

Today I want to share some current research into women’s leadership, as well as an angle on it that I think you’ll find incredibly motivating – whether or not you think of yourself as a leader in the traditional sense.

If you’re a woman keen to have your biggest impact, and to discover a take you might not have considered when it comes to changing things, read on.

Why is women’s leadership important in our world?

Let’s start with the basics: women leaders have a measurable impact on the bottom line.

In a 2015 report, McKinsey and co found that “In the UK, greater gender diversity on the senior executive team corresponded to the highest performance uplift in our data set: for every 10% increase in gender diversity, earnings before interest and taxes rose by 3.5%”

And yet, when it comes to representation of women in senior positions, the stats show we still have a long way to go. In 2018, Goldman Sachs undertook a report into gender diversity and – whilst noting the limitations on available data – reported that “Women make up about 40% of all employees – but just 6% of CEOs.”

So why is this – and what can we do about it?

Why do we see fewer women in leadership positions?

Well, it won’t surprise you to know that the answer to this is complicated. As we all know, women are a diverse bunch and the individual decisions and choices we make – or have made for us – about stepping up to more senior roles are as unique as we are.

Still, there are some threads that emerge. One of them is the cultural paradigm – the social context most of us have been raised in, which continues to promote certain gender stereotypes.

At the start of BePowerful, our 12 week online coaching program that connects women to their power, we invite the women taking part to spend some time thinking about what traits they associate with being “female”. It’s always so fascinating to see what gets shared in our virtual forum in response to this question.

If you haven’t done this exercise before, have a quick think now about what you’d list out as “feminine” attributes.

Often, women share that they’ve been surprised to uncover some very negative entrenched views of being called “girly” or “like a woman”. Being told you “throw like a girl” or comments like “typical woman driver” spring to mind.

We’re rightly outraged when we hear these comments being made, and yet however hard we try to resist them, they have an impact.

We internalize a certain set of associations with being a woman compared to being a man, and that has a real impact on our confidence when it comes to stepping into leadership roles.

This phenomenon is something the Goldman Sachs report picked up on.

“Women may be uncomfortable exhibiting more stereotypically “masculine” traits such as ambition and self-promotion in the workplace. They may fear a backlash if their behavior is at odds with prevailing gender stereotypes.

In fact, traits and behavior that are often rewarded in men may be seen as inappropriate, discomforting and perhaps ultimately counter-productive when demonstrated by women.

In colloquial terms, aggressive men may be perceived as being “go-getters,” while similarly aggressive women may be perceived as having “sharp elbows.” Closing the Gender Gap: Advancing Women in Corporate America, Goldman Sachs

The playing field when it comes to male and female leadership then, is clearly not a level one. And the very leadership characteristics that accelerate the advancement of our male colleagues can actually be seen as negative when applied to women.

So what’s the solution?

What can we do about it?

Changing our culture when it comes to the stereotypes we have of each gender would be a great place to start. As a parent, I’m passionate about ensuring the next generation isn’t raised with these outdated ideas of women and men’s roles and characteristics.

But I think this also offers us a real opportunity to change things right now when it comes to modelling what effective leadership looks like. With courage and confidence, it’s time to change not only the diversity among our leadership teams but to create a new form of leadership.

Instead of trying to squeeze ourselves into old-fashioned ways of working, here is an opportunity to radically shift our organizations, and evolve a more balanced, diverse, and ultimately resilient way of leading.

Stephanie S Mead, author of The Art of Strategic Leadership: How Leaders at All Levels Prepare Themselves, Their Teams, and Organizations for the Future, sees this ability to change as being fundamental to successful business.

“If you want to be relevant in the future, you have no choice but to change and evolve…

Leaders have a responsibility to build and support a culture where breaking down ingrained habits and old standards is recognized as an important part of rebuilding and creating a stronger, more successful organization.

They not only see the need for change, they work hard to identify and manage resistance in order to push the needed change forward.” – Stephanie S Mead

When we are given the support we need to become unique leaders, rather than doing things “the way they’ve always been”, we actually strengthen our organizations.

Change starts with you

You might not be in a corporate setting right now – but I believe you are absolutely a leader, whether for your family, your community, in the public or not-for-profit sectors. All of us are role models for the upcoming generations; as citizens each of us has responsibility for changing our corner of the world.

So, I invite you to connect to this inspiration in whatever form your leadership takes. To recognise that while the world we are living in is often unfair, if we connect and support each other we have the power to create an entirely different system.

And if you’re wondering where to start, the seeds of that change can be planted in the simplest possible way: starting with you.

“Whether you are a leader or not, I think you have to pay attention to thought patterns and processes so you start to recognize when resistance is emerging, either in yourself or in others…. You can also coach yourself and others to get out of the routine and try new things that will encourage you and them to work outside your comfort zones and look at the change as an opportunity to grow.” Stephanie Mead

Getting more comfortable with change is something that can start in the smallest possible way.

  • Take a different route on a well-worn commute
  • Speak up when you might stay silent
  • Reach out to someone you don’t know that well, and invite them for a virtual coffee
  • Apply for a role that’s slightly outside your comfort zone
  • Show up in a way that’s more authentically you instead of “fitting in” to the expectations of others

I’m sure you can think of more ideas when it comes to beginning to get more comfortable with the idea of change. Whatever it looks like for you, I would love you to share somewhere you’re overcoming resistance or trying something new in the comments. Together, we can create a ripple of change that goes far beyond our individual impact – and adds up to a wave that could change the world.

Ready to overcome resistance?

If you’re feeling the pull to change and would like to be supported and guided into allowing your authentic self to come through, take a look at our BePowerful program. Click here for the full details and scroll down to book in a no-pressure application call.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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One of Many Voices: Veronica Roberts

By

Wendy Harrington

Latest posts by Wendy Harrington (see all)

As an Educational Psychologist, Veronica has spent her career working with children and parents. But it wasn’t until she became a mum herself that a moment of total vulnerability and overwhelm sparked an idea for a new movement to help women find connection and support. We asked her to share more of her story…

What do you do?

I am an Educational Psychologist – which includes a wide variety of roles (one of the things I love about it!) A lot of my time is spent working with parents and teachers to explore the needs of a child/young person and consider ways of supporting them so that they can thrive, rather than just survive, their school years. I also deliver training and research with the University of Bath.

I went self-employed after having our son and realizing that working for a local authority was just not going to be flexible enough for our family. Now I work 3 days a week.

More recently, for my Lead The Change project, I have founded the i know… parent collective.

Tell us more about that project.

i know… is about building upon the collective support between parents. It’s about those ‘moments’ we all experience as parents; where we can feel overwhelmed, lost, unsure what to do, and alone. In those moments it can feel like the world is watching, and potentially judging us.

The idea behind i know… is that in those moments, we might look around and see other parents wearing a badge that says ‘i know…’ – a visual symbol that they know what it’s like, they get it, they’re not judging us and they’re willing to help if they can.

The aim is that those moments of vulnerability, instead of becoming feelings of fear and shame, might become moments of connection, empathy and compassion.

Give us the big “why” you do what you do?

Part of my motivation for starting ‘i know…’ stems from my personal experience of becoming a mother and the struggles I experienced.

I very much felt that as a trained child psychologist I should know what I was doing all the time (!) and the perfectionist in me also screamed that I should be doing it perfectly all the time.

I judged myself so harshly for every perceived misstep of motherhood that I made and felt so incredibly vulnerable when I struggled in public. I felt like everyone would not only think I was a terrible mother, but also rubbish at my job as well.

When I returned to work I started really hearing what parents were saying, in a way I never had before and I suddenly realized – I’m not alone in this experience, and actually if we share that vulnerability, then ironically, the vulnerability reduces and a collective strength can take its place.

By reducing parent stress levels in those ‘moments’, parents become more able to support their child and themselves through the stress and distress and/or ask for the help they need.

What’s your daily routine?

Part of our family life is that no two days are the same! Both my work and my husband’s are so variable that what I’ve ended up doing is having different routine ‘templates’ for the top and tails of different types of day: When my husband is at home, when he’s not, when I’m working from home, and when I’m not.

Things I try to build into every morning are:

  • A bowl of porridge (only way I survive until lunch!)
  • Physio and Mutu exercises (whilst my son is having breakfast)
  • Inspiring piece of music either in the shower or in the car
  • I also try to finish work half an hour before I pick up our son from nursery and have 2 songs that I dance to which I call my ‘End of Day Debrief’ – one track to release emotion and one to recap the things I have enjoyed or feel went well. This was an exercise I designed with my LTC coach as I realized I was really good at shelving difficult feelings and never coming back to them (so they just grew). And I was hardly ever able to take real joy in my accomplishments, so having a few minutes just to recap the positives of a day and dance them into my body has really helped.

Things I try to put in at the end of each day:

  • Playing my Tibetan singing bowl
  • recapping the day with gratitude
  • reading a good book for a few minutes before sleep

What demands do you balance every day in conjunction with your work?

I’m mother to a very lively and curious 4-year old and wife to a very lively, vibrant and driven man. My husband also runs his own business consultancy firm. A lot of his work is in London or abroad and he can be away for up to 3 weeks at a time. The need for this can arise with a day or week’s notice. This can make it tricky to plan in advance!

To balance the demands that this can place on me I’ve opted to have more childcare than I actually need for work alone and I schedule my self-care, ‘lifemin’, I know… work, exercise etc all within childcare hours so that even when my husband is away, it is still possible for me to meet my needs and therefore manage whilst he is away.

How do you feel about women’s “lot” these days?

When I became a mother, I’d never felt love quite like it, I remember thinking that if we could bottle that feeling and drip feed it to dictators we would have the answer to world peace! I felt privileged to be a woman and able to experience it.

But one of the other main emotions I experienced as a new mother was frankly, rage. Because all my life I had been told by society that as a woman I was equal…and I felt like I’d been completely duped!

As I sat there breastfeeding our little boy on the sofa I felt anything but equal.

It felt like my freedom had been stripped away, whilst my husband’s remained intact and untouched by the experience of becoming a father (probably a bit of an overstatement in hindsight, but I was hormonal at the time!).

The dwindling of my maternity pay and then its complete disappearance left me financially dependent on a man for the first time in my life and it made me hugely resentful that because we had chosen to have a child, I was suddenly financially penalized. I still believe this sends a really strong message of just how much society devalues the role of caregivers, mainly performed by women. Becoming a mother was the first time in my life that I had so explicitly felt discriminated against as a woman and I hate that that feeling is tied to one of the most amazing experiences of my life.

However, one of my most profound shifts through my Lead The Change journey followed on from the BeLove retreat. I sat down with my husband and shared how uncomfortable, guilty and at times, resentful I felt that I worked and earned less than he did as a man.

The conversation that followed transformed our relationship. He had tears in his eyes as he said to me, “But you get to make a difference to people’s lives! I don’t get to do that! So let me do what I do, so that you can do what you do, because that means I’m making a difference too.”

And I suddenly realized, in my feminist stance I’d created a financial competition between us that was tearing us apart. But if we both did what we were good at then there was a beauty in the contribution we could make together and the life that we could lead.

I still feel that women are financially discriminated against for being biologically designed to have children…which seems a bit crazy when you step back from it, as the survival of the human species kind of depends on that function! But, I’ve realized there are other alternatives to men and women competing to do the same as one another. So, in a nutshell, I think things have improved, but we still have so much further to go!

How do you juggle your relationship and business now?

At my first One Woman Conference in 2017 my husband and I were going through an incredibly difficult time – it felt like we were leading separate lives and were no longer really connected or hearing one another.

After the OWC I came back and told him (using my Queen PowerType!) that I wasn’t happy and couldn’t see how we were going to survive as a couple without both making some significant changes. Lead The Change was one of those things, my husband receiving some coaching was another, but also, we agreed to make time for each other.

As my husband had just entered self-employment too we had the luxury of flexibility, and so we set aside one morning a week whilst our son was at nursery to do things together as a couple.

There are some weeks where this just isn’t possible, but we have it as a general rule and it has made such a difference to our relationship. Prioritising our relationship like this has helped us rekindle our connection and helps keep things in perspective, because if we’re not ‘right’ as a couple, then it has an impact on everything else, and work isn’t worth that.

Do you think you people around you (on social media, and face to face) understand who you authentically are?

The i know… project has totally pushed me out of my comfort zone in terms of displaying my vulnerabilities ‘out loud’ via social media.

It is only because of the i know… vision and this sharing being an attempt to support other parents with their journey and challenges that I have been able to develop the courage to do that and at times it has felt excruciating. The most amazing thing is, the posts where I have felt most vulnerable have had the most positive responses and that has been such an amazing gift of a lesson!

The Lead The Change community has also helped me really understand I can be who I am and still be appreciated, warts and all. So yes, I think people are beginning to see the authentic me.

But more importantly from my perspective, I am becoming comfortable with the idea that when people see me, they may or may not like me, but that doesn’t mean I need to change who I am to ‘fit’.

Who do you look up to as a woman?

Brené Brown – she is just so fricking awesome!!

What are you doing to help elevate the women of developing nations?

For every i know… badge sold, 20p is being collected for Deki – a charity set up by Vashti Seth, another Lead The Change participant, to support entrepreneurs in Africa grow their businesses.

I had always felt so helpless about the situation in developing countries and unable to support in a meaningful way. Then one fateful retreat I ended up giving Vashti a lift home and she totally changed my perspective – and gave me hope that I could make a difference further afield too.

Ready to lead your change?

If you’re inspired by Veronica’s story and would like to find out more about our Lead The Change program, click here to leave your name and details. One of our friendly team will be in touch to arrange a time to chat.

Veronica Roberts

Parapet head popper | Catalyst for compassion | Coffee addict

To find out more about Veronica and her work, reach her online here:

Facebook page: www.facebook.com/iknowcollective
Website: www.drvroberts.co.uk

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What Michelle Obama has to say about the power of community

By

Wendy Harrington

Latest posts by Wendy Harrington (see all)

It was as the First Lady of the United States that we first came to know Michelle Obama. But since leaving the White House she’s stepped seemingly effortlessly into a role that arguably eclipses her husband’s in terms of influence and inspiration.

As a mother, a leader and an advocate for women’s power (not to mention a sought-after speaker and best selling author), she’s managed to retain a genuine air of relatability.

I’m sure I’m one of many women who could totally imagine grabbing a coffee (or a cocktail!) with Michelle, instinctively feeling that sense of closeness that only comes from deep authenticity and openness.

It’s a rare quality in a public figure and one that speaks of remarkable inner strength. And as I read back over some of her best-known quotes, it’s easy to see why. So many of the Soft Power principles we live by here at One of many have been powerfully articulated by Michelle over the years. Here’s a roundup of just a few.

On the importance of taking care of yourself

In her interviews and conversations, Michelle’s repeatedly been an advocate for taking care of ourselves as women. Around here, we know it as “Soft Power Principle Number One”: First, replenish yourself.

It might sound obvious – if you’re hungry, you eat. If you’re tired, you sleep… Right? Only, as any woman who’s pushed through overwhelm, exhaustion or fed-up-ness knows – it’s surprising how long you can keep going past your own natural limits, when you feel you have no choice.

As mothers, as leaders and as team members we know that even when we’re mentally and physically depleted, somehow we can keep going. But that doesn’t mean we should. In Michelle’s words,

“Women in particular need to keep an eye on their physical and mental health, because if we’re scurrying to and from appointments and errands, we don’t have a lot of time to take care of ourselves. We need to do a better job of putting ourselves higher on our own ‘to do’ list.”

I love how Michelle frames self-care not only as a matter of doing what’s right for ourselves, but as a model for the next generation.

Our actions matter when it comes to the example we set to the women looking up to us.

How can we show them how we expect them to be treated in the world? Leaving the office on time, so that junior colleagues see that holding power responsibly doesn’t entail burning the candle at both ends? Or letting the young people in your life – nieces, baristas, the student intern – see that you’re not afraid to show up as you are, and ask for what you need?

For Michelle, part of her leadership is showing her daughters how important it is to make time for herself.

“When I get up and work out, I’m working out just as much for my girls as I am for me, because I want them to see a mother who loves them dearly, who invests in them, but who also invests in herself.

It’s just as much about letting them know as young women that it is okay to put yourself a little higher on your priority list.”

Whether it’s taking responsibility for our finances; creating equal partnerships with our spouses, or standing up for the causes we believe in, we’re not only doing it for us but also acting as leaders to the women growing up in the world we’re creating. I don’t know about you but for me that’s a real motivator when it comes to prioritizing my needs.

We can’t do it alone

So it’s important to take time for ourselves, and to remember that we’re always modelling choices for those around us to. But what happens when things get hard? When perhaps the thought of being an “example” to others can feel like pressure we just don’t need.

Here’s another thread where I find our work hugely aligned with Michelle’s – connection with other women. In her words,

“Sometimes we can’t do this alone, and we shouldn’t have to.”

Our community of women is one of the most powerful I’ve ever experienced – when it comes to work, life, or relationships, I never fail to be astonished by the depth of the friendships and support I see at our retreats, at the One Woman Conference, and in our online community.

For some of us, it’s the first time we’ve experienced true connection with other women – who we can rely on to tell us the truth, share their highs and their lows, and stand with us as we grow.

On the days when I feel like I’m barely keeping my head above water I can hugely relate to how highly Michelle speaks of her own inner circle of women.

“I relied on my girlfriends to get me through one of the hardest eight years of my life. … We have to remember to be that for each other.

We have to be each other’s light. We cannot get into that catty stuff. We have to find a way to continue to lift other women up in our worlds and in our lives as much as possible.”

Lifting other women up. It’s a phrase that sums up so beautifully the power of our community and the truth that we’ll all rise higher when we do it together.

If you’d love to experience it for yourself, click here to join us and find out more. We all need each other if we’re going to create the world we want to live in.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Guest blog: Why are resolutions so hard to keep?

By

Sara Price

Sara Price

Sara is a coach and mentor with over 25 years of experience in campaigning and communications. As well as her ongoing work with Pagefield, the leading independent communications agency that she co-founded in 2010, Sara is a One of Many Certified Coach, a Mastercoach and soon to be author.
Sara Price

Latest posts by Sara Price (see all)

As I write this, it’s January. A new year. And a time when many of us are promising ourselves that this year will be different. This year, we will stick to the diet / never smoke again / learn to play the guitar / travel more / be kinder…

Our good intentions are endless and, to paraphrase Mark Twain, the odds are that we will spend the rest of the year paving the road to Hell with them.

A few weeks in, how are you getting on? Is your enthusiasm waning? Are you making little deals with yourself?

I’ll start again on Monday…
I didn’t mean I wouldn’t drink at all, just Monday to Thursday…
One cigarette won’t hurt and then I’m really going to quit…

Let’s be honest, have you ever made a resolution and stuck to it right through to the end of the year?

Why are resolutions so hard to keep?

Maybe the clue is in the word. We define resolute as

“To be admiringly purposeful and determined, unwavering, adamant”

Who can keep that up? It sounds exhausting and just the sort of stage that Superwoman likes to strut about on. Woe betide anyone who can’t keep up… anyone who is less than “admirable”!

It seems to me that we are setting ourselves up to fail. We’ve adopted an approach that may fit with our cultural paradigm of drive, competition and dogged determination but is at odds with how we feel when we’re anticipating change.

Change can be decidedly anxiety-inducing. We often feel uncertain, nervous or ill at ease when we’re planning changes to our habits and our lives because it doesn’t matter whether the change is for the better, we’re used to what we know.

Taking a step into a new way of being can feel like a leap into the unknown and it’s unlikely we will be ‘unwavering and adamant’.

So, if resolutions are so hard to keep, is there a better way?

A more effective way to make resolutions

Our resolutions are often defined by society’s or our family’s expectations and determined by what others want or have suggested. There is no surer way to set yourself up to fail than to make a commitment that fits with someone else’s vision of your life.

Step one: get in touch with your own vision.

Stand in your power and dream the next 12 months into being.

Close your eyes and imagine that you are on your way to a party on 31 December 2019. You’re excited to see friends and family and share with them all the joy of the twelve months that have just passed. And as you get ready to leave and look back over the year, what are the highlights? What are the key moments that you want to share?

Now come back to the present.

What do you need to do to bring those moments to life this year?

Step two: Choose joy

Our resolutions are often focussed on things that we ‘should or shouldn’t’ do. These are words I have banned from my vocabulary. You won’t find joy in going through the motions out of a sense of obligation or duty – there is enough of that in life already.

Instead, I suggest you make resolutions that will ‘spark joy’ and act as a wonderful counter-balance to some of life’s inevitable drudgery.

It might be something you’ve always wanted to do but never tried; a place you’ve always wanted to visit; a new skill you’ve always wanted to master.

Here are some of the joy-filled resolutions that I, and my clients, have made over the years to inspire you.

Feel free to borrow any that spark joy in you:

  • To visit Las Vegas
  • To swim in the ocean every month
  • To learn archery
  • To visit a castle every other month
  • To start a book club with my closest friends
  • To learn Italian
  • To drive along the North Coast 500 in Scotland
  • To finally say ‘yes’ and marry my true love
  • To quit my job and retrain as a coach
  • To take a sabbatical of at least three months and rest until I’m well again
  • To have a party every season
  • To make 6 new friends
  • To stop keeping clothes for ‘best’ and wear something sparkly every day

Step three: Ask if now is the right time to make resolutions

And, of course, you could decide not to make any resolutions at all in January. Winter is a time for bedding down and returning to the earth.

Enjoy the feeling of being rooted and settled, take the time to think and to replenish yourself before Spring when the sap is rising and it may feel more natural to make changes.

When you’re ready to start thinking about change, it’s worth considering getting away from your usual haunts and habitat. Despite its modern meaning, the word resolution actually comes from a late Middle English word meaning to loosen or release.

So, release yourself from everyday triggers and learned habits. Loosen your mind to wonder and dream.

In your dreams, you already know what you want.

In your dreams, you already know what intentions to set.

In your dreams, you already know how to get to that wonderful place that you’re going to.

Perhaps it’s time to resolve less and dream more.

About Sara Price

The Knitting, Baby-whispering Karaoke queen!

Sara is a One of Many coach, a mentor and one of the first cohort of certified One of Many trainers. In addition, Sara is Founding Partner of one of London’s leading communications agencies (Pagefield) and is authoring a book entitled ‘How to Actually Change the World’.

Sara has teamed up with physiotherapist/Pilates instructor Jo Turner and nutritionist/hormone specialist Nicki Williams to create a unique women’s retreat experience in Umbria, Italy.

The ‘What’s Next’ retreat will take place from 23–29th June 2019.

For more information and for an exclusive One of Many 10% discount on this retreat, please see our webpage https://www.real-retreats.com/what-s-next-itinerary or email realretreats@gmail.com