One of Many

Woman looking to create change

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What burnout feels like

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

The statistics about burnout are pretty sobering – here in the UK, women are 60% more likely to suffer from it than men. If we’re going to change those stats, the first stage is knowing exactly what we’re talking about: what does burnout feel like, and what can we do about it before, or if, it sets in?

We had an amazing discussion over in the Facebook group recently all about what burnout feels like. I’m talking the specifics: physically, mentally and emotionally. It sparked some incredible shares from so many courageous and capable women, all of whom knew straight away what burnout out felt like. (If you’ve been there, take a second to think – how would you put it into words?)

What blows me away is how many common threads there are in our experience. If you’ve felt like this before (heck, maybe you’re feeling like this right now) the most important thing to take away from this is: you’re not alone.

Here’s what you need to watch out for:

What burnout feels like: 6 signs it’s time to press pause

1. Burnout is exhausting

“Burnout is waking up in the morning feeling pinned to the bed wondering how you will possibly move your limbs to get out”

Yes, we’re all tired from time to time. But when you’re struggling to get up in the morning, every morning, don’t give yourself a hard time.

It may well be a sign that it’s time to ask for some extra support. If exhaustion’s a recurring issue, ask yourself if you might be heading towards burnout.

2. Burnout is confusing

When capable, intelligent women find their brains just aren’t working, burnout’s likely to be the cause.

“A grey cloud fogging my brain”
“It stops me from making clear decisions and fuels self-doubt and inertia”

When we can’t think straight, more often than not, burnout’s the culprit.

3. Burnout is lonely

Burnout sneaks in to make us feel as though we’re all on our own. Words like “isolated”, “alone” and “cut off” came up again and again when women reflected on their experiences.

The truth is, you’re not alone – this is a really common experience, and one that there are so many people willing to help you through. It’s with the support of those around you, and communities like ours at One of many that you’ll find your way back out again.

4. Burnout is constricting.

“It feels like being behind bars”
“Like being stuck in the middle of a whirlwind of panic and impossibility”

We can be so quick to blame ourselves when we’re stuck, but the truth is real possibilities open up once we’re back on track and feeling taken care of.
Are you really out of options, or is overwhelm to blame?

5. Burnout is physical

It might not have a medical diagnosis, but our bodies are often the first to give us powerful indications that something’s up.

“It feels like a metallic ‘taste’ in my whole body”
“Thinking causes physical pain in my head and I can’t get my face to smile”

For you it might be a sensation in your throat, tummy or shoulders. Learn to spot it early, and you’ll be able to get the support you need before it gets too much.

6. Burnout isn’t you

“It feels like I am not me”
“Like being an imposter in your own life”
“As though I have lost the essence of me”

When things get too much, it can feel as though we’ve failed somehow. When the truth is, these are all signs that it’s time for a break. You’re exhausted, overwhelmed, and it’s time to stop and replenish yourself to get back to who you really are.

Getting out of overwhelm

If you’re starting to notice some of the signs of burnout right now, there are some simple things you can do straight away to start to turn things around.

From frantic to fruitful is a free online training I run to help get you off the treadmill and back to a space where you feel calm and in control of everything that’s on your plate. Click here to book your spot on this powerful webinar and discover a simple but counter-intuitive step-by-step approach to overwhelm.

Another exercise I’ve found really helpful to get you out of that emotional fear-based “I’ve fallen short” feeling is to consciously tap into a “celebrating and acknowledgement” phase. Start to get present to what you have achieved, instead of focusing on everything you haven’t done.

Grab a pen and paper and reflect on what you have achieved over the past six months or year. Take some time to look back and recognize what outcomes and intentions you did bring to fruition.

Even if they are smaller in number or magnitude to what you had hoped, look at the less-obvious intentions you’ve achieved

Having done that, you’ll see that, you know what? Often what’s wearing you out, more than the actual pace, more than what’s on your plate is a conflict between perhaps what you intend for yourself – your big goals and high expectations – and where you are on your journey.

Recognizing that, you may find that you can discover a new perspective that takes the pressure off and gives you space to be able take better care of yourself and be grateful for how far you’ve come.

For me, going through this process gives me access to an energy which is forgiving, nurturing and nourishing. And I hope that you’ll be able to do the same, if you recognise some of the signs of burnout starting to creep up. Challenge yourself to be gentler. Challenge yourself to pull your goals back.

If you’re nice to yourself, you might just discover that you can be more, do more, and give more than you ever thought possible.

Feeling particularly stuck?

Sometimes we are so burned out that no amount of positive reflection on our own is going to help. You may well need professional support- medical or otherwise.

Don’t be embarrassed. This is all too common in women, and very frequent symptom of what we affectionately call “Superwoman Syndrome”.

If this feels like the situation for you and you’re not sure which way to head, please reach out to one of our team by booking a call here. We are more than happy to help you determine whether this is something that can be handled with some gentle slowing down and coaching, or whether you need to seek other professional help.

Burnout is a biggie. Let’s help each other recognise it, heal it, and shift the culture to prevent it.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Why sleep matters

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Remember when you were a kid and staying up late was just about the biggest treat there was?

Somehow you just KNEW that the most exciting things were bound to happen as soon as you closed your eyes… and you’d do anything to stretch bedtime out just a little further.

How times change, huh? If you’re anything like me, nowadays an early night and a long lie-in the next day is the gift money can’t buy.

Whether it’s lying awake with tasks and to-dos running through your mind, staying up late scrolling through social media or late nights when it just feels like we’ll never be done with the day’s tasks, these days it can be pretty challenging to get the rest we need.

Today I want to share a perspective on why sleep matters which you might not have considered.

Why sleep matters

Now, full disclosure: As the mum of two small kids, I can’t deny that sleep (or the lack thereof) has been something of an obsession in our house over the past year. There’s nothing like running a business on five hours of sleep, between two parents, to bring home the vital importance of getting the rest you need.

But assuming you’re not struggling through on a few short hours of shut eye (in which case you don’t need me to tell you why sleep matters), I want to get you thinking about this whole topic in a different way. For starters, have you considered that the way you look at your basic needs might be very different to the way a man would?

Take a look at this video to see what I mean:

Our mission at One of many is to equip one million grassroots women leaders to create the change we want to see in the world. That word “grassroots” is so important. We’re not saying you need to be CEO of a corporation, or be running for political office, to be a part of this change. (Of course, if you are, that’s awesome!).

But the women we want to see stepping up as leaders are also those incredible mums holding families together and raising kids who are brave and kind and ready to do the right thing.

The managers who take care of the people in their teams and bring humour, humanity and love to the corporate world.

Those of us taking care of ageing parents; babysitting for our friends so they can finally have that date night they’ve been talking about; setting boundaries and having difficult conversations that need to happen.

Taking care of your needs isn’t just about you

If every single one of us stepped up to be the powerful, inspiring leaders we’re capable of being, I believe we would see a bigger transformation than the world has ever known. To do that, we need energy. The kind that comes, at minimum, from getting the right sleep, nourishment and movement.

The bottom line is, your needs matter, and if you keep pushing them to the bottom of the pile, it’s not only you who will suffer. It’s your community too, and everyone who has the potential to be impacted by your unique gift to the world.

Ready to show up and shine your light as bright as the world needs you to be? Let us know in the comments!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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How to drink enough water

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

If there was a really easy, almost completely free way to increase your energy, boost your performance and make you look younger, would you leap at it? Most of us have a vague idea we could probably be more hydrated. But we don’t always know how to drink enough water, so today I want to share what I’ve learned about how to easily make this huge difference to your life.

Simply upping our water intake is one of the most effective things you can do to impact your mental clarity and our overall wellbeing. So if you know you’re going through your days drier than an Aussie backyard at the end of a long summer, read on.

The day I realized how important water is

My personal “aha” moment came a while back, when I got so rundown that I ended up in a clinic to have intravenous vitamins administered via a drip. (It’s an extreme example, I know!).

Incredibly, I started feeling better almost immediately – even before the vitamins could possibly have taken effect. That’s when I realised the reason was simple: the hydration boost I was getting from the drip meant I finally had enough water in my body.

There and then, my intellectual understanding that my body needed water was transformed into an experience of just how much of a difference it can make.

From one quick blast of hydration I felt happier, more energized and mentally sharper than I had done in weeks. Nowadays, I’m evangelical about the difference simply staying hydrated can have on our lives – and I also know it’s not as easy as it sounds.

Research shows that 80% of adults in Australia and 75% in the United States are dehydrated, so if you suspect you could do with drinking a bit more water but aren’t sure how to make that intention a reality, read on.

Water makes a bigger difference than we think

If you’ve ever felt tired for no reason, felt foggy or stuck, or just feel that you’re not performing at your best, try looking at your hydration habits. Keeping hydrated makes a difference to so many areas of our lives.

Water…

  • Helps alkalize the body
  • Plumps our cells, making us look more “well”
  • Balances our moods and emotions
  • Increases our metabolism: drinking water has been proven to reduce hunger and also temporarily improve your metabolism by 24-30%.
  • Helps our joints stay lubricated and our organs functioning optimally
  • Boosts our cognitive ability. Research by a UK university found that when we’re dehydrated we’re as prone to making errors whilst driving as if we’d drunk low levels of alcohol – and yet many of us make most of our decisions in this state!

How to know if you’re dehydrated

A drop of just 1% in hydration can negatively affect our cognitive ability and mood. It takes a drop to 2% before we start feeling thirsty, by which point we’re already dehydrated.

Of course, if you already drink plenty of water, I’m not suggesting you overdo it. Drinking more than the recommended amount can actually be harmful.

But if you know you tend to skip hydrating yourself, think about whether you’ve experienced any of these symptoms:

  • Feeling tired even before you start your day
  • A heavy headed or “brain fog” sensation
  • Headaches
  • Getting cravings for certain foods
  • Feeling down or dejected

Any of these could be a sign you need to up your water intake.

3 top tips for how to drink enough water

If you’re curious about the difference water could make to your wellbeing, it’s time to get some good hydration habits in place.

  1. Make sure you’re drinking the right stuff

Staying hydrated is best achieved with water (coffee and alcohol can actually dehydrate us). Our bodies also need salt to absorb water, so try experimenting with a “hydration hero” once a day to see if that helps you get more of the benefits. Simply mix 1 part fruit juice to 4 parts water, and add a pinch of salt.

  1. Try water scheduling

I learned this tip from Geeta Sidhu-Robb, health coach and one of the mentors at our BeVital retreat, and I’ve used it ever since. The idea is to set a schedule for how much water to drink during the day. Here’s how the day breaks down:

  • 1 glass of water first thing in the morning
  • 2 glasses of water at 12pm, 3pm and 5pm
  • 1 glass of water at 7pm
  • Bonus: 1 glass of water at 10pm (if you’re still awake!)

For me, this schedule made a huge difference. I literally set an alarm on my phone to remind me to go and drink my water (these can also be great prompts for quick movement breaks). But what works for me might not work for you, which leads me to my third suggestion…

  1. Know yourself

Lots of us have tried to increase our water intake at various times, but we each have our own unique needs. Maybe you’re more of a water sipper – having a jug of water on your desk is a better strategy than drinking whole glasses at certain times. Personally, I hate drinking cold water first thing, and prefer to have a mug of hot water with a squeeze of lemon. Or perhaps you’d rather have herbal teas to make up your quota.

Whatever your preference, you might be surprised what a difference upping your water intake can make. Got a tip or a story to share about your hydration? Let us know in the comments!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Guest Blog: 10 things you need to know about your hormones

By

Nicki Williams

Nicki Williams

Nicki Williams is a qualified Nutritional Therapist, author, speaker and founder of Happy Hormones for Life, helping women to get back to their absolute best – slimmer, energized, more productive and in full control of their hormones!
Nicki Williams

Latest posts by Nicki Williams (see all)

Are your hormones sending you on a physical and emotional roller coaster? You might not be aware how much these little chemical messengers actually rule your life.

Did you know that there are over 100 identified hormones in the body? And they aren’t just about your monthly cycle — they control your metabolism, weight, energy, mood, brain function, sleep and much more…

Hormones really do control how we look, feel, think and perform — and for something so important, we don’t know an awful lot about them.

So here are 10 of the most important things to know about your hormones;

1) Deprivation diets don’t work

Deprivation diets won’t work if your hormones are out of balance (and that’s for most women over 40!). That’s because this type of diet puts your body into stress mode — it literally thinks you are in a famine!

Once in stress mode, cortisol kicks in and tells your fat cells to hang on for dear life and shutting down your metabolism, so when you start eating normally again, guess what? Yep, even more weight goes on and here we go again…

TIP: Ditch diets for good and start nourishing your hormones instead so that they increase your metabolism and get you burning fat, not storing it.

2) Your stress hormones have priority over everything

When your body is in survival mode too often, high levels of cortisol will not only store fat (usually around your belly), but will suppress your immune system, cause digestive issues and crash your energy levels and sex drive.

TIP: Recognise your stressors (it might not be just the obvious ones) and prioritise daily stress management (deep breathing, yoga, mindfulness, music etc).

3) Peri-menopause can start at 35!

Some women sail through these years, but the majority will suffer with symptoms including fatigue, weight gain, mood swings, PMS, brain fog, poor sleep, low libido and hot flushes.

TIP: You are much more likely to sail through these years if you have a hormone friendly diet and lifestyle. Start now!

4) Sleep is non-negotiable

Getting less than six hours of sleep a night can seriously impact your energy, mood and waistline, as well as increase your risk of more serious health conditions as you get older.

TIP: Make sure you are prioritising a good night’s sleep — get to bed by 10.30, switch off your gadgets, keep the room pitch black and avoid caffeine/alcohol.

5) Don’t skimp on the fat

Many of your hormones are made from fat, so stay away from the skinny lattes! Eating healthy fats also helps you feel full and balance blood sugar, reducing insulin (your fat-storing hormone).

TIP: Choose avocados, nuts, seeds, olive oil, coconut oil, organic full fat dairy, grassfed meat and oily fish.

6) The gut — hormone connection

Your gut and hormones are inextricably linked! Food sensitivities or gut flora imbalances can upset the way your hormones work and reduce the absorption of the nutrients your hormones need.

TIP: Cut out any foods that you might be sensitive to (gluten, dairy, soy and corn are the big ones) and see if your symptoms improve. Get tested if you suspect any underlying infection. Eat more fermented foods (live yoghurt, sauerkraut, kefir, kombucha) to restore your good bacteria.

7) Look after your liver

If your liver is clogged up, toxins and waste can hang around longer than necessary, messing with the natural detoxification of your hormones, especially oestrogen.

If your liver is busy with that bottle of wine you had last night, it won’t be able to deal with your oestrogen, recirculating it back into your system, potentially causing PMS, bloating, headaches, mood swings and breast tenderness.

TIP: Reduce your exposure to toxins around you. Switch to more natural organic household and personal care products, avoid plastic, reduce alcohol and choose organic foods.

8) Vitamin D is your secret hormone

If you live in the UK or Northern hemisphere, you are likely to be Vitamin D deficient, as you are not going to be getting enough year round sunshine.

Vitamin D is actually a hormone, and it supports all your other hormones, as well as being a huge friend to your immune system (and an important breast cancer protector).

TIP: Get your Vitamin D levels tested and take supplements throughout the winter months.

9) Your thyroid hormones run your metabolism

If your thyroid hormones are too high, you’ll get anxious, sweaty, palpitations and weight loss. Too low and you could have fatigue, weight gain, brain fog, low mood, cold hands/feet, PMS, hair loss and a lot more!

TIP: Get your thyroid properly tested if you suspect you may be affected (contact us for info on testing). Eat coconut oil to help boost your metabolism.

10) Too much exercise can ruin your hormones

Many women think they have to do more exercise to lose weight. But too much and the wrong kind can increase cortisol, stressing out your body and actually making you hang on to fat!

TIP: Exercise smarter. Listen to your body. Take regular breaks from sitting. Walk more. Short burst (or HIIT) training can increase fat burning hormones like testosterone and growth hormone. Do yoga. Vary your routine.

Look after your hormones and notice the difference

There is a lot more to know about hormones (I’ve been studying them for over seven years!) but if you get to grips with these 10 first, you’ll start to notice a real difference.

If you’d like any help with your own hormone issues, you can download my free Hormone Balancing Guide or get in touch for a free 30 minute Discovery Call.

 

About Nicki Williams

The chocolate, coffee and wine loving nutritionist!

Nicki Williams is a qualified Nutritional Therapist, author, speaker and founder of Happy Hormones for Life, helping women to get back to their absolute best – slimmer, energized, more productive and in full control of their hormones!

After failing to find any medical help for her symptoms of exhaustion, weight gain and hormone issues herself in her early 40’s, she discovered that she could turn things around using diet, lifestyle and natural supplements.

She went on to qualify as a nutritional therapist and hormone expert, and now helps women all over the world with her online programmes, workshops and individual and group coaching.

She has recently published her first book;

It’s not you, it’s your hormones; The essential guide for women over 40 to fight fat, fatigue and hormone havoc.

You can get it here on Amazon.

 

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Why is burnout more common in the helping professions?

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

You’ve probably heard of burnout – if you haven’t suffered from it yourself, you’ll no doubt know someone who has. It’s especially common among those in caring roles. Figures in the UK suggest almost 25% of healthcare workers will experience burnout. Not to mention the hundreds of other helping professionals like coaches, teachers, and carers. So why is burnout more common in the helping professions, and what we can do to prevent and heal it?

Understanding the background of burnout as a concept gives us some powerful clues as to what it is and how we can tackle it. Burnout was first described in the 1970s by a researcher called Herbert Freudenberger, who worked at a clinic for drug addicts. He observed volunteers and staff at the clinic experiencing the symptoms we now commonly recognise as burnout:

● Exhaustion
● Cynicism/demotivation relating to work
● Signs of depression or anxiety
● Reduced performance

What’s interesting is that this phenomenon was first described among people whose work was all about helping others. Although we now talk about burnout occurring in all sorts of careers, right from the start it seems to have been a particular issue for people in these types of roles. Why might that be?

Contributing factors to burnout

1. Idealism

When our work is helping, we’re often motivated by a deep desire to care for those in need; a sense of altruism is what drives us. It’s a wonderful thing, but that idealism can also be a challenge. After all, it can be hard to “switch off” at the end of the day, or keep a sense of perspective, when your identity and core values are so bound up in your day to day activities. Boundaries between work, home and self care quickly unravel in these circumstances, and that can lead to overwhelm and burnout.

2. The nature of the work

Working with people is unpredictable. It can be frustrating, and sometimes chaotic. What’s more, in roles which involve caring for people, mistakes can have serious consequences. Although some caring roles are given low status by society, they carry huge responsibility for the health and wellbeing of vulnerable people, placing additional stress on those who work in them.

Healthcare workers especially are often under pressure to meet targets and be mindful of cost implications as well as the responsibility for the interests of the patient. Stress and anxiety flourish in these contexts, and can lead to a sense of lack of control or apathy – key features of burnout.

Even if you’re in a helping profession like coaching where you get to set your own hours, it doesn’t mean your clients are any more predictable. Our phones go at every hour of the day, and our urge to be of service makes it hard to carve out uninterrupted time or to “switch off” our care and concern.

3. Greater sensitivity

Whether you work in the helping professions or not, you might be able to recognise some of these factors in your own experience. If you’re someone who tends to put other peoples’ needs ahead of your own; if you’re highly tuned in and sensitive to the emotions and environment around you, you might identify – like me– as a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) as defined in Elaine Aron’s (highly recommended!) book.

HSP’s aren’t necessarily introverts or people who are emotionally fragile, but we do find ourselves reacting differently to environments with a lot of sensory input, especially when there’s a lot going on combined with pressure to conform to deadlines and targets. Being sensitive to other’s needs can make us highly effective and skilled helping professionals, but it also increases the likelihood of us becoming overwhelmed by the context we’re working in.

So how can we prevent it?

At One of many, we use a tool called the Women’s PowerTypes™ to explore the different “roles” we play in our lives. These have been developed specifically for women, and reflect underlying traits which allow us to understand the different ways we can approach the challenges in our lives: they’re the Warrioress, Queen, Sorceress, Mother and Lover.

It’s those last two which are the lens through which we can look at the issue of burnout and gain a greater understanding of what it is and how we can prevent it.

Why is burnout more common in the helping professions? The PowerTypes answer

When we look at these five PowerTypes, two are especially relevant here. The first is the Mother.

Mother

The Mother PowerType is above all nurturing, caring and driven by a desire to take care of others. These are all values which are really important for women working in helping professions. The best teachers, coaches, nurses and doctors are those who really care about the people they look after.

However, as with all the PowerTypes, there are elements of the Mother that can be unhealthy if this PowerType becomes too dominant, and isn’t balanced out by the other elements of female power.

The Mother’s shadow side is the Martyr. Aggrieved, angry and hurt, the Martyr feels put upon and resentful. It’s a deeply negative state to be in, and left unchecked can easily spiral into what we’d recognise as burnout: exhausted, demotivated and depressed.

The clue to avoiding this lies in the second relevant PowerType when talking about burnout:

Lover

The Lover is the PowerType associated with love, desire and sexuality. This relates not only to our partners, but also to ourselves. The Lover is the PowerType who most powerfully embodies the practice of self care.

Sensual, relaxed and deeply motivated by the desire to honour herself and create sublime experiences, she is the PowerType who tells us to rest, to play and to take care of ourselves so that we can take better care of others.

For Highly Sensitive People, having pleasurable sensory experiences is vital to allow us to calm, ground and “reset” ourselves.

The Soft Powertypes and burnout

Understanding the PowerTypes can help us to make sense of the statistics from a very practical standpoint. We can see how likely it is that women who are drawn to the helping professions might have overdeveloped Mother profiles, and might need support in expressing their Lover side.

The Lover can be nurtured through activities like:

● Making a list of things you’d love to do and working through it (putting your needs first, for once)
● Taking yourself on trips alone to explore new things
● Giving yourself experiences to delight the senses: a soft scarf, a delicious perfume, your favourite food

Using the PowerTypes gives us clues to our innate tendencies, enabling us to act before we reach crisis point. If we know we tend to be over-expressed in our Mother, we can remember to give more focus to the Lover before we reach the stage of burnout, allowing us to thrive in a more healthy balance.

How about you? Have you experienced burnout in you or someone close to you, and can you see the factors that caused it? We love to know your experiences and advice – leave a comment below, let us know.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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How to not burnout: A 4-step response

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

These days, pushing ourselves past capacity is something of an epidemic among women. Beyond the hype about “having it all” are some pretty sobering statistics – like the fact that right now, we’re 60% more likely to suffer job stress and burnout than men. So when it comes to reaching our potential, learning how to not burn out needs to be a priority. Trying to be “superwoman” really does come at an insidious cost.

One of our BePowerful participants, Mary, saw that play out vividly in her life: “In the past I did Superwoman spectacularly and burned out” she reflected.

That kind of experience can be a huge motivator in seeking support to change the pattern. Of course, we can’t stop life from gathering momentum but we can choose how we respond to when it does.

How to not burnout – the 4-step response

1. Look after yourself

Especially when there’s a lot on your plate, taking care of your needs and asking for the support you need is vital. It can be easy to lose perspective when we’re not at our best, but there’s usually an inner whisper that tells us when things are getting too much.

So listen to it and get honest with yourself: how well are you really coping? Is it time for a break? What’s going on physically for you? Gentle awareness of your own needs and acknowledgment of all you’re doing (rather than focusing on what you’re not getting to) is the first step to making a change.

2. Replenish your energy

Did you know that cortisol, the hormone released when we’re stressed, prepares the body for a fight-or-flight response by releasing glucose? Even if we’re not resorting to sweet treats to get us through the day, feeling constantly stressed or anxious effectively floods our body with sugar.

Replenishing ourselves and reducing cortisol takes more than just stopping. It also means finding a way to release that fight-or-flight reflex by taking exercise (a walk in the fresh air is a great start), meditating, or making active choices to address our workload.

3. Stop over committing

Sometimes we don’t realise how over committed we are until looking at the diary makes us want to crawl back under the duvet. And yet we keep saying “yes” to more and more things, because we don’t want to offend people or feel as though we’re letting anyone else down.

Burnout thrives when we put our need to feel helpful above our own capacity. Get real about what you can commit to – and practice saying “no” politely until it’s second nature.

4. Prioritise

The fact is, we can’t do everything, and telling ourselves we could if we only pushed ourselves harder is what results in overwhelm. Our culture tends to reward “busy-ness”, and it’s easy to find ourselves taking on more and more without stopping to consider the bigger picture.

Prioritising means we need to get really clear on our values and the bigger impact we want to make. Beyond being “busy”, how are the activities that fill our day actually making a difference to our families, our communities, and the world?

Learning to let go anything that doesn’t contribute to that is a challenge for all of us, but to avoid burnout, we have to learn to change our expectations. Make sure you do only what really matters.

Banishing Superwoman

These steps might be straightforward, but they’re definitely not easy. Putting our own needs first, saying no, and getting clear on how we really want to spend our time and energy is a challenge for all women. After all, most of us have been raised in cultures which expect us to be the cheerful, capable high-achievers in everything we do.

But those statistics about overwhelm and burnout speak for themselves. “Superwoman” is a role that comes at the expense of our health, our wellbeing and ultimately our impact on the world.

Don’t let her take over your life.

If you’ve experienced your own brush with burnout in whatever form, do share what you’ve learned in the comments below. Your experience might be just what another woman needs to read today.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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When you feel like you have nothing left to give, do this…

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

We all know that woman who is everyone’s saviour… or everyone’s doormat… depending on how you look at it.

Maybe she’s you.

She’s the one who is always there to listen to anyone with a problem. The one that you call at the last minute to babysit, the one who’s always there to co-host the webinar, the one that will whip up two dozen cupcakes for every school bake sale.

Sometimes she’s the one that stays in a situation that even she admits is no good for her, or the one that is waiting for that magical ‘one day’ when other people are going to realise everything she’s done for them and finally start paying her back. Most often, she’s the one that’s gradually sinking under a tide of over commitment, time poverty, exhaustion, and simmering resentment.

 Maybe she’s you.

I think a lot of women go through at least one phase of trying to be everything to everyone at some point in their lives. Perhaps it’s being supermum, a die-hard activist, or the career woman who runs herself ragged at work during the week and then beats herself up for not doing more on the weekends. As women, we sometimes use sacrifice as a way of showing love. But the problem comes when we start sacrificing ourselves and letting people take advantage of us.

If you read nothing past this point, then I really hope you’ll at least take this away:

  • There are no prizes in life for exhaustion and self-sacrifice.
  • You’re not going to be able to help anyone if you don’t learn how to take care of yourself first.
  • And it really, truly doesn’t have to be this way.

We all come to this edge every now and again. As a recovering perfectionist with a side order of Imposter Syndrome I really get it. I want you to know that it’s not uncommon for women to reach this place no matter how wise you are. I think it’s our big hearts that do it to us. But it’s imperative that we put ourselves first and find the solution to this problem.

The answer lies in boundaries.

Boundaries are so important, and yet for so many of us women, talking about them feels uncomfortable. If you want to have strong boundaries, it feels like you either have to run people over and generally be very masculine, or if you want to care for people it feels like you have to be a pushover. But this is absolutely not the case!

You don’t have to choose between being a bitch and being a pushover — what you need to be is a Queen.

Every Queen has a realm; what’s yours going to be? Your realm is those people you care about and choose to impact or have some kind of personal connection with. This could be your clients, your family, your friends, a charity you support, your colleagues … whomever you choose.

But the key is that you have to choose. You can’t be responsible for the whole world, and you can’t take everything to heart. You have a finite amount of time and energy, and it’s incredibly important that you spend these resources carefully! So before you do anything else, ask yourself who’s in your realm.

How to figure out your boundaries

When figuring out your boundaries, you need to have some sense of what you’re OK with. This will intersect strongly with your personality and your needs. For instance, an introvert will likely have a boundary of needing a specific amount of alone time, and would feel infringed upon if they were constantly required to be out and about. Someone else might have a boundary around the amount of chores they do around the house, while another might have a boundary about how they get feedback. And of course, everyone has boundaries around their basic rights and treatment as humans.

What you really need to remember as you’re setting your boundaries is to set them at the level where your needs are met. You don’t set a boundary below where your
needs are met, or at the point where you put up with it and put up with it until you suddenly explode. You set it at the point where you’re doing fine. But any further
infringement would cause you to feel anger, disrespect or upset.

So when you’re thinking about the different areas of your life, ask yourself, “What is it that I need to be fine in this situation? What boundaries or rules do I need?”

Action Step:  Take some time to think about some boundaries which are important to you right now. You don’t have to have them all, just a few to get started with!
If you’re having trouble, think about things that make you angry. Anger is often a sign that someone is crossing one of your boundaries, so it makes a good indicator.

For more on setting and enforcing your boundaries, Grab your free Enough is Enough report now. In it you’ll learn how to gracefully set unbreakable boundaries and how to say no with ease, in a way that works for everyone. There are specific action steps for you to take to guide you on a gentle journey of reclaiming your space.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

After all stuff happens no matter how intelligent or important we are. It’s how we handle it that determines our impact.

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Guest Blog – How To Access Your Heart And Be 5000x More Powerful Than Using Your Mind

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Today’s Guest Blog Post by Yvette Taylor.

You are incredibly powerful.

Did you know that the wisdom and answers to everything you need are already inside you? It’s just that you need to learn how to access it.

There is more to you than your physical body. You are made of electromagnetic energy and so is everything around you. Electro meaning it sends a signal – Magnetic meaning it attracts.

The strongest electromagnetic communicators you have in your body are your HEART and your HEAD. We talk about this a lot our everyday language. I’m sure you’ve heard people say things like “I’m stuck in my head” or “I follow my heart”. You may even use these terms yourself.

Even western medicine knows that these two power houses are important to life. If you’re on life support what are they measuring? The electrical activity in your head and your heart … If either of them stop you’re considered to be … Not living!

But there is more to it than that … these two powerful communicators are directly related to your ability to attract.

Your HEAD energy is related to your thoughts, beliefs, patterns and memories. Your HEART energy is related to your emotions, feelings and vibration. Collectively they create your ENERGY vibration and therefore your point of attraction.

The magnetic component of your heart’s field, is around 5000 times stronger than the brain and it can be measured several feet away from your body. Amazing isn’t it! In many spiritual practices this is what is referred to as your aura and it ALL stems from your hearts energy!

How understanding your energy can transform your life.

Your aura is a recording device, it has retained every thought, feeling, memory and interaction you’ve ever had.  It knows everything you’ve seen, learnt and read too.

We are commonly programmed to give precedent to decisions made with our head. We search outside of ourselves for more answers, for more facts, more knowledge to help us make a decision. But have you ever searched for the answer to something and found conflicting information then just ended up feeling confused?  If you have then you’re not alone.

Access the most important book of answers.

We need to learn a new way of functioning and realise that we are already carrying the most important book of answers inside of us, the knowledge in our heart. Science has shown it is 5000 times more powerful than our mind and yet we rarely listen to the answers it has or know how to access them.

This knowledge is stored in your energy, it’s in every cell of your body, it’s in your heart, it’s in your mind, it’s in your aura and sources of information outside of your physical body too.

We call the ability to tap into this information intuition.

How Do I Access The Answers And Connect To My Intuition?  

What if you could find a way to access the answers already in your conscious and subconscious? What if you could stop looking outside of yourself, bypass your thinking and connect to the answers already in your energy and your heart?

The good news is you can by tuning into your energy. Let me explain.

Just for a moment stand up … (yes I mean now … :D)

Stand with your feet hips width apart, relax your knees and hips.

Then I want you to say out loud “My name is …. (Then say your name). Pay attention and see if your body sways backwards or forwards when you say it. Then say out loud “My name is…” (then say a name you are not called) again see which way you move.

It may be slight but there will be a movement.

Usually a sway forwards is a YES – so you will have gone forwards on your name. And backwards is a NO. (Sometimes it may be the other way around but that’s a whole other blog post!)

So now you know the YES and the NO you can ask your energy ANY question which requires a YES or NO answer. The answers you receive give you an indication of what is TRUE for you in your energy right now.

This is a technique from kinesiology known as “the sway” and it connects to your inner guidance, this allows you to get answers direct from your energy.

This is a powerful way to tap into the answers you already hold. WITHOUT getting caught up in thinking, analyzing or searching for more knowledge. Don’t get me wrong knowledge is wonderful when it helps us make a choice. Sometimes too much knowledge keeps us stuck with indecision, by using the sway it can help you make clear choices about what to do.

Some Ways You Can Try Using The Sway To Get Answers

Now try this for yourself and use the sway to see the answers to some simple questions like …

– Am I feeling happy/free/loving?
– Am I feeling sad/angry/frustrated?
– Am I on the right path?
– Am I in flow/ am I out of flow?
– Am I feeling stuck/free?

Using the sway will help you access the answers to what is happening in your energy right now. That said, what your energy is a match to right now may NOT be what you want. This is where you need a deeper energetic process. Something that will help you to SHIFT your energy, thoughts, beliefs and emotions and change it to something new, something you would like to be a match with your energy.

What Can I Do To Find More Answers And Connect With My Intuition?

If you want to find out more about harnessing your innate inner wisdom so that you can stop looking outside yourself and uncover the answers within, I’d love you to come and join me for The Energy Experience.

I’m currently offering this for free until 16th November. In it I share my Energy Alignment Method™ (EAM), which is 5 simple steps to help you change your life, feel happier and be more in flow.

Click here to find out more

This transformational journey is designed to get you in flow, let go of fear, guilt and overwhelm and find a place of love, freedom and more happiness.

 

Yvette Taylor

Change Maker . Fun Seeker. Old School Raver … !

https://www.facebook.com/YvetteTaylorenergy88

https://twitter.com/_yvettetaylor

www.energyalignmentmethod.com

yvette-circleAbout Yvette

Yvette Taylor is the creator of the Award Winning Self Help & Personal Transformational Technique – The Energy Alignment Method™, dubbed the fastest method for getting in flow.

~ Voted the Top 10 Holistic Therapists In The UK – Holistic Therapy Magazine, Winner of the Janey Lee Grace Platinum Award, as well as multiple awards for “UK’s Best Coaching And Mentoring Business”, “Shining Online” and for making an impact and being an inspiration to women in the UK.

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How Talented Women Thrive!

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Do you suffer from energy hangover?

Energy what? Energy hangover.

For instance when you get home from a mad busy day at work where you’ve been multi-tasking, getting things done and making decisions, then you get home and dinner is a military operation, you don’t really notice that your kids are there and you haven’t had a moment to have a nice conversation with them because you’re still in that busy doing energy. Are you nodding your head?

Or you’ve just had a lovely weekend off and you’re totally in the moment and now it’s Monday morning, you’re back at work and you just can’t seem to engage your brain. Sound familiar?

Well, this is energy hangover. Where energy from one area of your life seeps into another and then means you’re not being as fruitful as you would like to be. You see our ability to perform at work and the other areas of our lives depends upon our effectiveness, or what I prefer to call fruitfulness. And our fruitfulness depends upon our ability to manage our energy effectively.

Research by McKinsey and company called ‘Centered leadership: How talented women thrive’,   consulted with some of the biggest corporate companies around the world, in a study of successful women in leadership. One of the key defining features for women who were successfully leading small or large teams was that they had a solid process in place to help them manage their energy. They had strategies to manage the areas of their lives that draw on their energy; home life, health and well-being, as well as their work life. They were able to replenish and rejuvenate when necessary but also had systems and processes in place to maintain their energy on a daily basis.

This is what effectiveness is really about for us as women and what we talk about here at One of many is that our fruitfulness, as women in leadership roles (whether that’s leading at work or in our family), is a constant flow between two polarities of energy. And those polarities are the masculine and the feminine energy.

We are great advocates here of what we call Soft Power, creating from our feminine energy, having said that we also recognise  that there is a time for our masculine energy, the yin and the yang.

Work/our career will especially bring out masculine energy if we don’t examine it. The archetype of Superwoman is someone we share a lot about at The One Woman Conference and this archetype is actually our masculine energy of show up, push through, focus, drive, success at all costs type of energy.

Left unchecked this energy can absolutely burn us out and is highly damaging to our intimate relationships and family life because it creates competing masculine energy in the home. For example, kids want the nurturing, nourishing archetype of the Mother. A safe place to be, someone to share in their excitement and love them.

As women we wear multiple hats and operate from different energies. So just how can you shift with ease between the different energies so you don’t suffer from that dreaded energy hangover?

You need Bridging Rituals.

Bridging Rituals are designed specifically to help you deal with this energy shifting and become more fruitful in your life.

Let me share an example to show you exactly what I mean.

One of my clients was a successful corporate employee, she was very effective and productive. A strong independent woman who didn’t need her husband. She felt he was ineffective, couldn’t make a decision and she wasn’t inspired by him. Their marriage was in a seriously rocky place.

I shared with her that the problem was the competing masculine energy. Life needs polarity and her husband was taking on more and more of the feminine, to balance out her masculine. He was getting out of the way because he didn’t want to compete with her and he didn’t want to argue.

I invited her to bring The Lover and The Queen (2 of our other key archetypes) into her intimate relationships.

She totally got what I meant and created a Bridging Ritual for when she got home from work to help her transition. She took a mini bath, just 5-10 minutes to be with herself to consciously make the shift to leave work at work and arrive at home. She changed her clothes into soft feminine clothes and shifted to a place of openness, connection and love for her husband.

Within a week she had a fabulous relationship with her husband because she was allowing him space to be in his masculine. She was resting better and sleeping better as well because she’d left Superwoman at the office.

Men do it naturally.

Because men tend to think more modally and compartmentalise things, they naturally do these Bridging Rituals. Whereas women tend to have awareness of all things at all times, and so we tend to have thoughts of home at work and thoughts of work at home. Which is ok, unless you have energy hangover and it’s not serving you.

This is where the Bridging Rituals really help. Rituals are powerful things. Studies show that rituals improve our confidence, our peace of mind and minimise our stress. And you can create rituals for all areas of your life, they can be anything you like that helps you shift from one mode of energy to another. I like to light a different candle for shifting in energy.

How will you bring Bridging Rituals into your life?

Here’s some things you can do this week to help you create some Bridging Rituals for yourself.

  1. If you live with a man notice his shifting rituals and see what you can learn.
  2. Identify your own energetic shifts that you need to go through during the day. Starting work, leaving work, shifting Mum to Lover because you’re going on a date etc.
  3. Create small rituals that will help you to bridge those energetic shifts.
  4. Implement them and notice what happens.

 

I’d love to know the Bridging Rituals you’ve created for yourself. Let me know in the comments below or by joining our BeOne facebook community.

If you’d like to find out more about the archetypes we use here at One of many™ come and join us for the 4th One Woman Conference. We’d love to see you!