One of Many

Woman looking to create change

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When you’re so tired you could cry

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

I was exhausted. At the end of my tether. And I knew there was one place I could turn to for help. “Today I feel so tired I could cry,” I typed into Facebook.

It was August, and we were in Bali, where our peaceful family time had been interrupted by an earthquake, of all things. While badly shaken, luckily we weren’t in one of the worst impacted areas. But it felt like the final straw.

You’ve probably been there at some point – those times when you’ve been keeping it all together and then, suddenly, it all catches up with you.

It had been a few months of fairly epic amounts of getting stuff done. Business was thriving; we’d welcomed new team members and grown our community. We’d unexpectedly had to move house, packing up all our belongings and putting them in storage before travelling halfway round the world to Australia. The restful break we’d planned in Thailand on the way out featured our entire family (me included) getting totally wiped out by a gastric bug… and now, on our way home, the earthquake.

When things feel hard? Reach out

So I did what I often do when things feel too much – I reached out to the One of many community. The place where some of  the most capable, competent women I know come to be vulnerable, admit we’re human, and ask for help. (If you’re not in it, and that sounds like what you need – come join us! Here’s the link).

And, of course, the ladies there did what they always do. They rallied.

Within hours I was looking at a huge list of virtual hugs, practical support, and some of the most grounded advice I’ve received. So, with deep thanks to everyone who came to my aid, here are some of the best bits of advice they shared:

1. Write a list

This was actually the first thing I did, as part of my post – and wow, did it feel good to get it all out. Off the top of my head a total of 31 things I’d achieved in the past 7 weeks came pouring out – everything from packing up our house and moving it into storage, to nursing the family through gastro – and the important detail that I’d not slept for longer than 3 hours since my daughter was born over a year ago!

Writing things out doesn’t change them, but it’s a powerful way of remembering just WHY you’re so tired. And I don’t know about you, but I have a tendency to spend more time staring at the list of everything I haven’t done than the amazing things I have.

So go ahead: write out everything you’ve been up to lately: your wins, big and small, the unplanned challenges, and all the little energy-draining things that you’ve been managing.

I bet you’ll be pretty impressed when you consider it all!

2. Show yourself some love

The love I felt from the community who took the time to write comments, send heart emojis, and generally let me know I was seen and valued, was something else.

And the person I really needed to love me… was me.

We’re all so supportive of each other. And yet it can be easy to be much harder on ourselves than we would a friend.

Next time you’re having a rough day, think about what you’d say to someone you loved who found themselves in your situation. Would you tell her to go gentle? Take it easy? STOP?

Take your own advice, and give yourself some of that loving care and attention.

3. Feel it in your body

Loads of women reminded me that after something like an earthquake (or shock, or burnout, or meltdown), it takes time for the fear and stress hormones to pass through your body.

Massage, exercise and deep rest are so important to allow our bodies to process.

If you’re menstruating, consider where you are in your cycle. That’s not to invalidate your feelings, but to acknowledge the impact that our physical bodies have on our emotions. Listen to what they have to tell you.

Ask yourself: what does my body need right now?

Movement? Rest? Touch? Chocolate? And then do it.

4. Be honest

If there’s one thing I learned from sharing my story it’s that so many of us have been through this. Telling people you’re feeling wiped out does two things: it allows you to bask in the amazing love and support, and it allows others to know they’re not alone.

When you hit rock bottom, don’t isolate yourself. Reach out, no matter how.

Post on social media, tell your neighbour, answer honestly when someone asks how you’re doing.

We’re all in this together.

5. Ask for help

“Delegate for all your worth!” was one comment.

I love this, because it reminds us that when we’re exhausted it’s time to lean on the support that’s always out there for us. My tip? Be specific.

I need you to cook dinner.

I need you to babysit the kids for one hour while I take a walk outside and let out how I’m feeling.

I need you to read through this email and tell me what the person is actually asking me to do.

Make a list of the things you’d love to get help with, and ask as many people as you can for help with them. That way if one person says no, you’ll have someone else who’d probably love to help.

6. Keep it simple

Soft Power Principle #1 is this: Rest and replenish.

In other words, don’t try to solve the world’s problems (or even just yours) when everything’s on top of you. Eat something, for the love of god, and get some rest. (“Go to bed and sleep until YOU wake up” was one piece of advice I loved.)

Promise your anxious brain that everything will still be there when you’re back on form – and I promise it will seem ten thousand times more manageable.

7. Remember all the tools you already have

The one big thing I learned? That the practices and routines I ALREADY had in place were my biggest weapon. It was one of our coaches whose comment really struck a chord with how I was feeling:

“There is no way you’d have been able to do all this without looking after yourself along the way.

Your mind, body and connection to the Divine have enabled you to do all this because you look after them and your connections to them. You and they have done an amazing job. You built up all these energy resources and a support network which has enabled you to achieve and cope with so much.

Now it’s time to rest and recharge and be grateful for it all”

She was right. I hadn’t got to the point of burnout, because the tools I’ve been using along the way were so powerful they’d allowed me to stay replenished through it all. They were what made this a low point rather than a total crash.

Do you have a set of strategies or practices in place to support you if life took an unexpected turn? If you don’t, our free resources are a great place to start.

When you’re so tired you could cry, what happens next?

And so, I took the advice I was given, and that my heart and body were telling me to do:

First I replenished my energy. I had a massage that very afternoon, followed by going to bed early – and I spent the hour on the massage table dreaming about what I could possibly not do, and the following days asking for the support I needed to make that happen.

It wasn’t an overnight fix. Some of the challenges I had took a bit more time to sort out. But I was able to get there, using the amazing support our community gave me – and whatever you’re facing, I have no doubt you can do the same.

Who would you call?

If you could do with your own community of amazing women cheering you on when things get rough, click here to join the BeOne community. You’ll get an invitation to join our amazing Facebook group, invitations to free coaching calls, and access to a huge bank of resources, recordings and friends.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Too much to do, too little time?

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Too much to do, too little time? Welcome to the somewhat knackered club! Research this year from the Mental Health Foundation Thinktank in the UK showed that 81% of women felt overwhelmed or unable to cope in the past year (and we’re not being swamped with spa days or lie-ins). Having too much to do and too little time is a challenge we face time and again within our community and even our own team.

So today I want to share not only a few ways that we’ve found of coping with the times that you’re overwhelmed, but the missing piece when it comes to really getting to the bottom of what’s going on. So you can get off the “hamster wheel” for good.

Why do you have too much to do?

Let’s start by thinking about the first part of the problem: all those things that you have on your to-do list.

No doubt you’ve got some combination of the following swallowing up your time faster than you can glug that coffee going cold on your desk right now.

  1. Things which might come under the heading of life admin (renewing the car insurance, booking those flights, taking the dog to the vet…)
  2. Work responsibilities: the full spectrum of tasks from emails and fiddly tasks to people managing, troubleshooting, big picture strategising and planning.
  3. Friends and family: helping your parents, your kids, your siblings and your friends with the challenges they’re facing
  4. Your relationship (if you’re in one!): spending time with your partner, nurturing a fulfilling physical relationship, and making space for connection
  5. And (although this one might feel like wishful thinking…) your own spiritual and emotional well-being. Going to concerts or exhibitions, being creative, travelling, exploring, getting still, connecting to your spiritual side

Now, I’m sure there’s absolutely no need to convince you just how much there is on your plate. You know all of this already.

But if you’re experiencing the feeling that there’s too much to do and not enough time the first half of that equation is one that is worth paying attention to.

How can you give yourself less to do?

In a nutshell there are 3 ways you can get through your list: Ditch it, delegate it, or do it yourself in the most effective way.

Saying “no” and strengthening your boundaries around what’s yours is a skill that takes practice, but it’s the only way to start reducing the load that’s piled on. Ever heard the saying “if you want something done, ask a busy person”? Once you’re known as someone who always dives in and makes things happen, it’s more and more common to be asked to do more.

Say no, say it’s not a priority, say you’d love to help but it’s simply not possible right now.

However you do it, getting used to gently but firmly upholding your boundaries is such an important part of staying on top of the endless tide of requests.

Sure there’s nothing on your plate you can let go of? Then let’s look at the next part of the challenge: not having enough time.

Why don’t you have enough time to do it?

We all have the same number of hours a day. Those rockstar women who change the world, raise 10 kids, make millions of pounds a year and travel to amazing places (which they then plaster all over Facebook…) have exactly the same amount of time as you do.

Unlike our to-do lists, time is equal. And it’s also finite. We can’t create more of it and we definitely can’t get it back once it’s gone.

What we can do is learn to use it in a way that gives us more space and allows the possibility of flowing with the hours we have at our disposal instead of against them.

I want to take a second to address the issue of equality here, because although we have the same number of hours in a day, depending on the hand that life has dealt us we all have very different things to do with them.

You might be able to afford to invest in more or less help with the things that are on your plate, for example.

Some of us have responsibilities, such as being a carer, or a parent, which others don’t. We all have different abilities, different opportunities and different commitments. And I don’t want to diminish that or suggest that each of us has exactly the same amount of control over the time that we have in our days.

What I do want to do is to draw your attention to the power you do have because – because no matter the circumstances, at some level you always have a choice in how you spend those hours and minutes.

And just as you have a say over things on your list you have a say in how you spend the time you have available to you. But here’s the thing – not every hour of the day is the same when it comes to getting things done. Approach the same task at 8 in the morning, or 4 in the afternoon, and you’ll see very different results.

Which leads me to the part that most of us were never taught to take into account when planning our days.

The missing piece of the puzzle: Energy

When you have too much to do and too little time it’s easy to get caught up in that simple dichotomy: hours in the day versus items on your to-do list.

And there are absolutely times when those two things are what you need to focus on.

When you’re overwhelmed, when you’re in the thick of things, when you’re fighting what feel like urgent fires – by all means use the tools you have available to get the most important things done in the time you have available to you.

What makes our approach is slightly different to others you might have seen is that in our training and philosophy we bring in a third focus – and that’s your energy.

When you start paying attention to the different amounts and kinds of energy you have and on how that can fluctuate, it’s like unlocking a whole new area of awareness.

That’s when you can start to experience having more time than you thought. Or creating times when you can achieve more than ever seemed possible. When even though you’ve made huge strides towards your goals, you can end your day not only at a reasonable hour but with a reasonable amount of energy left to do the things that you want to do.

Maybe even the things that no one else will know if you do – like taking really good care of yourself before you go to bed; processing some of your emotions in your journal; or just taking a few moments to be grateful for everything has come your way over the course of that day.

Need a hand?

We have lots of resources to share around this because we know how big an issue overwhelm is for capable intelligent women navigating today’s world.

If the very idea of having more free hours in your week feels like an impossibility, and overwhelm is starting to take over, maybe it’s time to take a deeper look at what’s going on.

Our free training: From Frantic to Fruitful is the best way to get started when it comes to implementing this missing piece of the time management puzzle and creating more time in your week – even if your diary’s full.

Click here to signup for the session.

In it you’ll start to understand the underlying causes of that frantic feeling and explore a very different way of approaching what you’re able to get done in the day.

How about you?

If you have too much to do and too little time I’m curious. Does it feel like you have way too many responsibilities you’re finding it hard to say no to? Or is it that the hours you do have seem to slip by without you getting done what you wanted to? And I’d love to know if energy plays a part in your awareness right now. Take a minute to check in the comments below.

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How to ask for help without being needy

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Have you ever got to the point of total overwhelm and exhaustion… not because you didn’t have the support around you, but because you just didn’t know how to ask for help?

I had one particularly memorable meltdown after spending the day with a new team member. Ironically, this amazing woman was someone I’d hired to take the pressure off me!

But I’d probably left it a little late to start to delegate… and by the end of a full day of training and induction, I was experiencing that “frog in boiling water” thing. You know – where you don’t realize how much the stress is building up because it increases little by little, incrementally, until you’re at breaking point.

Once I’d calmed down and looked back at all the triggers that had finally got on top of me, I realized that I’d been doing a whole lot of supporting of the others all around me, and not getting the support I needed. And I had only myself to blame.

Sound familiar?

I had a whole crew of super competent people ready to help me. But I’d fallen into the habit of thinking that I didn’t want to bother my incredibly supportive – but also incredibly busy – team with things. So I ended up doing more and more, and eventually something had to give – and that something was me.

Maybe you can relate. You might also be someone who finds it really, really hard to ask for help – even when there are plenty of people who’d be happy to give you a boost when you need it.

Why it’s hard to ask for help

Strong, independent women often share a huge fear – that of being “needy”. After all, we make things happen for ourselves.

Even if you’re not a business owner you probably do have a team, by which I simply mean people who are willing to help you out: it could be an assistant, a childminder, or even just someone who gives you a hand with the ironing once a week. It might be your best friend, your partner or your mum.

But actually asking for that help brings us into conflict with the ‘superwoman’ part of us that sees receiving help as a sign of weakness.

There’s a vulnerability that comes with asking for help that seems deep-wired into our psychology, and that can stop us from reaching out to let other people know what we need.

Perhaps you resist delegating because, deep down, you don’t trust other people to do as good a job as you do.

Or you think it’ll take just as long to teach someone else to do it… so even relatively unimportant jobs linger on your ever-growing list of things to do.

Whatever your reasons for going it alone, the bottom line is all of us have a finite amount of time. Asking for help is essential if you’re going to make the difference you want to – and avoid burnout.

Help is closer than you think

Most successful women know we need to get help. “I know I need a new PA” we tell our partners for the fourteenth time. “I should ask Helen to help me update my resume…” we muse over after work drinks.

And yet, our fear of being seen as needy and our discomfort with receiving help gets in our way. Plus, what if someone says no? In fact, you’re actually much more likely to receive the help you want than you think.

One study by Cornell University found that we underestimate the likelihood of people helping us by a whopping 48% – in other words, people are almost twice as likely to help you than you imagine.

So, deep down you’re pretty sure you need support, and you’re much more likely to get it than you imagine when you do ask. How can you get over the hump and access the help you need?

The PowerTypes answer

Here at One of many we use 5 Womens PowerTypes™ to guide us to our most powerful form of leadership. These powerful models of feminine power each have specific strengths we can draw on when we need to – and it’s the PowerType of Queen we connect to when we want to practice the art of receiving.

Think about Queen Elizabeth, receiving a brave explorer who brought her a treasure from a far off land. Did she tell him “Oh no, you shouldn’t have bothered… I couldn’t possibly accept that?”

No. She receives his gift graciously. Fully in her power, she thanks him for the trouble he has gone to – and he receives that thanks as his reward. A cycle is created, where both parties benefit.

The act of receiving help graciously is, also, a gift.

When we don’t know how to receive help gracefully, our discomfort can sabotage the arrangement we’ve made. We find some way to unravel it: we don’t say thank you to our friend for the favour they’ve done and they get upset… we hire a PA and after 3 months we stop wanting to bother them. The work piles up, and you might even doubt their competence, when in reality what’s happened is your inner superwoman has kicked in.

(Unlike the Queen, Superwoman hates asking for help, which means she’s terrible at receiving.)

If you’ve been wearing your Superwoman cape more than your crown lately, here are 4 steps to asking for help without being needy

1. Start by recognizing that help is fundamental to the success of your business, family and community

There’s a lot at stake here. Consider what you provide for your children, your relationship, your team members, your community.

The work you provide for other subcontractors and service providers.

Given all that, can you see that taking care of your wellbeing is an absolute MUST? If you are not being energetically supported, and opening it up to others, then your wellbeing diminishes, and eventually it stops. So being fully supported wherever you need is a vital part of your work in the world.

2. Be specific about how you ask

What would be most useful to you? Rather than “I need help with this presentation”, think about what would make the most difference.

Do you want someone to read through your slides, to spend an hour as you run through what you want to say, or to give you feedback on the overall message?

Do you need your PA to block out time in your diary for you to get stuck into writing, send a quick “got your message” response to someone who’s waiting for an email, or take ownership of the sales spreadsheet you’re forever behind with updating?

It’s much easier for people to give you a clear answer to a specific offer – or to refer you to someone who they know will be able to help.

And when you do ask, don’t pre-empt a no

The data is clear – we’re much more likely to get a “yes” to a request than we imagine. So don’t fall into the trap of assuming it’ll be a no, or weighing down the request by saying things like “I know this is a total pain” or “You’re probably way too busy for this…”

Try thinking about how you feel when someone asks you for a hand. Most likely, you’re happy to help out – or, if you can’t, to say a polite “no”. The same probably goes for your friends, family and colleagues.

Focus on the difference it would make in a positive way – “This would save me loads of time” or “It would really make me feel less anxious to know you were there” and you’ll help the person you’re asking feel great about saying yes too.

3. Step into your Queen – and receive graciously

When you’re in the mindset of the Queen, the help you receive is a gift. It might be a great piece of advice from your accountant, a loving hug from your partner, or the person delivering your groceries.… whenever anyone is doing something to help you out, don’t push them away. Be gracious, be serene, be open to receiving. The way you graciously receive is, in turn, a gift to the giver.

A door being opened, being helped with your luggage, some hand-me-down toys from the neighbours, a smile from a stranger – every little gift you receive activates the archetype of the queen. And the more you receive, the more you will attract gifts into your life – it’s a deeply powerful practice.

It sounds obvious, but turning around the paradigm of doing everything ourselves takes all of us to play our part. Be open about the help you need, and generous with the ways you can help other people. By modelling what it’s like to give and receive help generously, you’ll help those around you break free from superwoman too.

Want to explore the Queen further?

If you’d like to learn more about the Women’s PowerTypes™, including a full description and a playlist of music that can help you tap into the energy of the Queen, download the “Life’s Little Toolkit”. As well as our favourite resources to stop worrying and beat overwhelm, it contains a guide to the Womens PowerTypes™ and suggestions for music to help you embody each one. Click here to access your FREE Toolkit now.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Are you tired? How to boost your energy without getting more sleep

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Are you tired? Maybe that’s a silly question. A lot of us get so used to ‘running on empty’ that we barely register we’re exhausted any more. Instead of feeling awake at the start of the day and tired at the end, we’re existing in varying shades of knackered: from flat out exhausted (yet somehow keeping going) to just that state of background fatigue that’s become normal.

But having energy to do the things you want to, and still feel good, isn’t just a luxury. It’s essential if you’re going to have the impact you’re capable of with your life.

Feeling like you’re not only functioning, but ready and even excited to get started on the activities ahead of you is something that everyone of us has the potential to tap into.

What’s more, being tired can actually be dangerous

According to Barna Group, a research group in the States, only 39% of us are satisfied with the amount of sleep we’re getting, which means that 61% of us are probably feeling pretty tired. It really matters because according to another piece of research, this time from Harvard Medical School, if you’re only sleeping four to five hours a night it’s the equivalent of operating with a blood alcohol level of 0.1%.

So most of us are trying to manage our lives, our businesses, our work, and our teams with impaired executive functioning. You are not alone. It’s not your fault. But it is your responsibility to do something about it.

Let’s start by getting honest. How often do you feel tired? Is it every day? Is it once or twice a week? Are you feeling run down on a month-by-month basis? Is it very rare for you?

Write it down, get clear, be honest with yourself.

So why are we so tired?

Well, the problem often starts with the way we’re shown how success works. For example, I started my working life as a medical doctor. This is a realm where 24-hour shifts are not unknown. I used to work on the oncology ward for 12 days on, two days off. And those weekends that I worked, one was a 12-hour day and one was a 14-hour day. So it was hardcore, and as you can imagine, pretty exhausting.

It may well be that you also got trained inside an organization which was run on similar lines – where pushing yourself and working all hours was something the senior people, the ones you looked up to, always did.

And yet the evidence is clear: it’s not healthy, or even effective, to be operating at a state of depletion. Let alone the fact that it’s not much bloody fun to be on your knees with tiredness all the time, right?

Just as we were ‘raised’ in a culture where tiredness was often celebrated, it’s up to us to change that for the women looking up to us if we want to model a different way of doing things.

So, what can you do if you realise you really are feeling pretty knackered all the time? How can you boost your energy without sacrificing the many important things you do each day, or doubling the amount of sleep you get each night?

The good news is, there are some really effective strategies we can use to boost the energy we have available to us, even without changing the amount of rest we get. If that sounds too good to be true, then read on – the 3 tips I’m about to share could have a real impact on your life.

Are you tired? 3 changes to boost your energy without getting more sleep

1. Replenish yourself

If you’re in a state of chronic tiredness, and you’re experiencing that loss in executive function; indecisiveness maybe, or an inability to make clear decisions, then you’re probably not in the best place to think about about the changes you’ll need to make to deal with your tiredness.

The good news is, you don’t need 14 hour’s sleep or a day at the spa to get back some of your energy. (Though if either of those are options for you right now, I give you permission to grab them with both hands…)

Some fresh air, movement, and making sure you’re hydrated and fed will give you the base you need to think about other changes you can make. Drink a big glass of water; make yourself a snack and head out for a quick walk round the block. It’s amazing the boost these simple things can give you.

Come back, and it’s time to take a look at real changes to make a difference to your days.

2. Batch your tasks

One of the biggest ways we leak energy is when we switch between tasks.

You’re in deep focus mode preparing a project, and then your email pings. An urgent message has come in, and you’re back in your inbox, only while you’re there you remember a few other things you ought to do. Whoops, there’s that email from a friend you meant to reply to last week, only you didn’t have time. Should you do it now? Before you know it, 5 minutes has become an hour and by the time you return to the big piece of writing you’ve totally lost your train of thought.

It’s those moments of switching from one kind of energy to another that can really deplete us over the course of the day. Ever felt slightly groggy after being on social media for a while, as you tried to remember where you were before you went in for a quick look at what was going on? Those sluggish, ‘where was I?’ moments build up to sap your focus from the things you want to be doing, not to mention the way we often beat ourselves up about procrastinating.

Often, it’s not the amount of things on your to-do list that is the problem. It’s the number of different energies on your to-do list on any given day.

You know you’re shifting from energy to energy when the laundry looks really attractive instead of doing some work. Or when you just need to go for your third cup of coffee for the morning and it’s only 9:30am…

That’s often an internal kind of identifier that you’re shifting energy from one energy type to another energy type. Whereas, say you’ve got 15 tasks on your list for today, you might actually find that they can all get batched into just three different energies. And if you re-organize your day to do them together rather than just starting at the top and going down, you’ll find you’re much less tired when you get to the end of your day.

In Be Fruitful, our 6-week online training that helps busy women free up 5 hours a week (at least!) to do what they want, we delve into this in much more detail. (Click here if you’d like to get the full lowdown on the training). I call it Batching for Energy Matching and it’s a foundational principle, because it makes such a difference so quickly.

As a starting point, try taking 10 minutes at the start of your day to block out time for the different things you’ll need to do, and when you’re best placed to do them. Do you like to ease into your day with some admin tasks while you sip your coffee and get into the swing of things? Or do you prefer to get the big, scary tasks done so that you’re relaxed for the rest of the day?

Paying attention to the ebb and flow of your natural energy and grouping your tasks accordingly is the best way I’ve found to change up my energy, reduce my tiredness and ultimately maximise the impact of my work. I’d love to know how it works for you.

3. Find your rhythm

I don’t know about you, but every month I go through four pretty distinct seasons of energy. A winter where I want to withdraw from the world, a spring, a summer, and an autumn.

We all have cycles. And even if you’ve been through the menopause, a lot of postmenopausal women tell me that they still notice that they are cyclical. That their energy levels cycle.

My third suggestion is for you to start to think about yourself as a being who goes through cycles and rhythms which can be predicted and relied upon. And to realize that, if you start to harness those natural advantages, those natural strengths and those natural optimum times that you have, that you might be able to create real shifts in your energy levels.

One of the most powerful ways to bring rhythm to our life is through the use of ritual. And this makes sense when we look at the scientific research behind it because human beings really are creatures of habit. Ritual, rhythm orientates us in our life and helps us tap into the energy that allows us to be most effective with the least stress and depletion.

You will have times of the day where you are at your peak for different tasks – start to notice it about yourself. And then start to lay a ritual into the day to help you be ready for those things.

So for instance, I have a ritual to start the day. I get up, I go down into my kitchen, I make my tea and I do some morning writing. Three pages every single day, and then I have a little way of getting in contact with my purpose, what I’m up to.

Then I have little rituals to help me transition through parts of the day. So when I leave my house and commute across the garden to my studio, I walk the long way around. I go out through my front door the long way around through my garden, and just that extra minute or so that’s part of the ritual of coming into my studio here and doing my work for the day leaving family, mummy over in the house and having this separate space.

As the old adage goes, if you fail to plan, you’re planning to fail. Well, I would say, if you fail to plan like a woman, you’re planning to fail as a man.

So always overlay any planning process you have with the recognition that you’re a cyclical creature who is not as necessarily as modal as your average man.

Managing our energy is such a huge part of being the leaders we are able to be, and so I’m always curious about how this goes for you. Leave a comment below, and let me know if finding a rhythm and batching your tasks to match your energy makes a difference in your day-to-day tiredness. I really would love to find out.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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How is wellness different from health?

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

When it comes to taking care of yourself, making sure you’re in optimum health has got to be a priority for all of us.

It’s fundamental, isn’t it – if we’re not physically doing OK, there’s no way we can perform at our best intellectually, emotionally, or spiritually. If you’re sick, injured or unwell, you’re probably not going to do much at all.

But when it comes to looking after ourselves there are a lot of different concepts floating around. It can start to get confusing.

How is wellness different from health? What’s really necessary and what’s a luxury busy women can’t afford? Here’s what you need to know.

Health: the foundation of it all

When we talk about health, we’re looking at the basics. Are you well in yourself – not fighting a virus, rundown to the point of exhaustion, or battling a chronic illness that won’t go away?

Health is often defined as a state in which we’re not suffering from any illness. In that sense, we can end up describing health by virtue of what it isn’t. So if we’re trying to be healthy, we’re essentially trying to be “not sick”.

It’s a classic “away from” motivation, because it comes from a wish to move away from the outcome we don’t want – in this case, being unwell in some way.

The trouble is, this kind of “away from” motivation can be limiting, because when the immediate impulse has passed, our momentum drops off. It’s the kind of thinking that can lead us to make all kinds of positive changes in our lives when we have a bit of a health scare, or when someone close to us gets a scary diagnosis. We don’t want that to happen to us, and so we vow off the sugar and the junk and start juicing like our lives depend on it.

But when things have improved – the flu that laid you up for a week passes, or you don’t get the bad news you’ve been dreading – your drive to maintain these changes wanes too.

Of course, the wish not to get sick might be strong enough to keep you motivated to make positive choices indefinitely. But for even the strongest willed of us, it’s a challenging way to maintain discipline.

Have you ever been on a real health kick and then gone on holiday, felt great, and proceeded to massively overdo it on the afternoon glasses of rosé and sugary desserts?

It might well have been because your motivation to live healthily was all about avoiding feeling bad. Relax somewhere beautiful, and you’re feeling blissed out – so you’ve got no incentive to stick to your plans.

Shifting our thinking: the wellness perspective

This is where it can be helpful to think about a word that’s being used more and more often these days: wellness. Wellness, or wellbeing, is how we describe a state that’s more than just the absence of sickness.

It’s a positive state of true vitality: rather than “not feeling tired”, you have bags of energy to achieve everything you want to. You’re not only meeting your basic needs, you’re actually getting the best of what you need in abundant qualities.

When you meet someone who’s not just baseline healthy, but is really thriving, you can sense it. Their eyes shine, they’re quick thinking, and you find yourself thinking “I want what she’s got”.

Thinking about our physical needs in terms of wellness moves our motivation into a “towards” framework. We want to exercise, meditate, eat healthily and make sure we’re hydrated not because we don’t want to get sick, but because we want to really feel great, all the time.

So when you’re offered an extra glass of wine with dinner, you say no because you’re looking forward to feeling fresh and clear headed in the morning – not because you’re avoiding a hangover. Same outcome, different motivations.

Of course, there are lots of other ways we can distinguish health from wellness, and countless ways of ensuring you feel at your best. But this towards/away from distinction can be a helpful place to start when it comes to considering how you take care of yourself, and what outcome you want.

Don’t you deserve to enjoy more than just the absence of illness, but instead to experience true vitality and joy? It’s certainly the way you’ll have the biggest positive effect on those around you, in your family, community and professional life.

We explore the different kinds of motivation as well as how to make sure your needs are met so that you can thrive in our life-changing 12 week program Be Powerful: Unleash the real you. Click here if you’d like to find out more.

How about you?

Is wellness a concept that’s a part of your life, or do you prefer to think about being healthy? These terms often get used interchangeably, so I’m curious to know what you think.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Guest blog: How to heal burnout

By

Elaine Wilkins

Elaine Wilkins

Founder at The Chrysalis Effect
Elaine Wilkins is the multi-award winning Founder and author of The Chrysalis Effect, first ever accredited training in ME, CFS and Fibro Prevention and Recovery, building an international network of experts on fatigue recovery. She is also a round table mentor for One of many. The Chrysalis Effect Online Recovery Programme for fatigue and fibromyalgia recovery is currently helping over 2600 people in 24 countries with their recovery.
Elaine Wilkins

Latest posts by Elaine Wilkins (see all)

There is a lot written about burnout and adrenal fatigue. The peak age of onset of fatigue related illness is people between the ages of 20 – 40, 82% of whom are women. Women just like you, who live busy, full lives with families and careers. Women who move out of their body and live in that headspace of tasks, responsibility and juggling time. Women who find they can’t get out of bed one day and say, ‘I just never thought it could happen to me’.

The 82% statistic only exists because we get so used to suppressing or over-riding the early warning symptoms our body sends. It signals the need for us to slow down via a headache, a feeling of overwhelm or a bloated gut. It is whispering the need to make some important changes.

It’s not just us, we get used to our friends and colleagues saying how ‘crazy busy’ they are, and how they long to stop but can’t. The biggest problem is, ‘out of balance life’ has becomes our society’s norm. Our bodies are amazing and as women we are incredibly resourceful, so we tend to adapt to problems as they arise and take on more and more. The difficulty comes when curve balls like a relationship breakdown, bereavement, financial crises or a virus hit us at a time when we have depleted our reserves.

Taking a moment to identify any physical ‘Early Warning Signs’ you might be experiencing and taking a quick glance at the checklist of the most common ‘Coping Mechanisms’ will be a useful snapshot of how you are taking care of yourself right now and whether it’s time to make some beneficial changes.

Early Warning Signs- Are you experiencing any of these regularly?

  • Headaches increasing in frequency and severity
  • Feeling stressed with normal workload
  • Sudden bouts of total exhaustion often before you are due to do something you don’t enjoy
  • Fuzzy head/poor concentration
  • Feeling overwhelmed
  • Sleep problems
  • Anxiety, busy racing mind
  • Bloating/ Irritable Bowel syndrome
  • Pins and needles in face
  • Unexplained pain in joints or muscles
  • Palpitations
  • Waking exhausted
  • Migraine
  • Vertigo
  • Short term memory problems
  • Poor word recall
  • ‘Jangly’ or ‘juddery’ feeling inside body
  • Struggle to cope with noise
  • Low mood
  • Tearful
  • Reaction to caffeine
  • Poor tolerance to alcohol

Coping Mechanisms – Are you using any of these to improve how you feel?

    • Caffeine
    • Energy Drinks Red Bull Lucozade/Sports Drinks
    • Alcohol
    • Anti-depressants
    • Sleeping tablets
    • Comfort eating with sugary or high fat foods
    • Screening calls to avoid having to speak to people
    • Withdrawing from social events
    • Putting on an act or brave face
    • Dishonesty about how tired or unwell you feel
    • Started a gym routine to build stamina to combat exhaustion
    • Blame external circumstances and believe you will feel better when they change
    • Take time off from work just to go to bed
    • Going to bed really early every night just to be able to get up and work
    • Expect energy levels to change on their own
    • Anti-depressants
    • Sleeping tablets
    • Loads of supplements in an ad hoc way

If you have ticked lots of boxes, it’s okay. Awareness is the Key to regaining our balance and health. You have taken your first step toward wellbeing.

Next Steps……

Gaining Clarity

1. Take some time to reflect on where you are right now and where you would love to be in terms of your health and lifestyle.

2. Notice if you dismiss what you really want, in favour of what you feel you must do.

3. Journaling is helpful to access what you been unable or anxious to voice.

Take Loving Action

Prioritise your wellbeing and seek some help and support to rebalance and rebuild your life in a way that honours your wellbeing above all else. Then you will be able to be everything you want to be in the world.

Claim Your Birth Right

Wellbeing is about feeling grounded, vibrant, and excited about your life. It’s only when we shine a light on behaviours, we may have slipped into, that we gain the perspective to take responsibility for creating our health and a life we truly love.

About Elaine Wilkins

The Yoga Retreat Reveller and Quad biking Glam-mother!

After losing her health to Chronic fatigue in 2000 Elaine had been written off as long term chronic patient because at no point did physicians look at underlying causes of her health crash. It took a 6-year journey to recovery. Her mission was set to change this.

Elaine Wilkins is the multi-award winning Founder and author of The Chrysalis Effect, first ever accredited training in ME, CFS and Fibro Prevention and Recovery, building an international network of experts on fatigue recovery. She is also a round table mentor for One of many. The Chrysalis Effect Online Recovery Programme for fatigue and fibromyalgia recovery is currently helping over 2600 people in 24 countries with their recovery. She is delighted that the first NHS GP Pilot begins in June. Find out more at www.thechrysaliseffect.co.uk

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What burnout feels like

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

The statistics about burnout are pretty sobering – here in the UK, women are 60% more likely to suffer from it than men. If we’re going to change those stats, the first stage is knowing exactly what we’re talking about: what does burnout feel like, and what can we do about it before, or if, it sets in?

We had an amazing discussion over in the Facebook group recently all about what burnout feels like. I’m talking the specifics: physically, mentally and emotionally. It sparked some incredible shares from so many courageous and capable women, all of whom knew straight away what burnout out felt like. (If you’ve been there, take a second to think – how would you put it into words?)

What blows me away is how many common threads there are in our experience. If you’ve felt like this before (heck, maybe you’re feeling like this right now) the most important thing to take away from this is: you’re not alone.

Here’s what you need to watch out for:

What burnout feels like: 6 signs it’s time to press pause

1. Burnout is exhausting

“Burnout is waking up in the morning feeling pinned to the bed wondering how you will possibly move your limbs to get out”

Yes, we’re all tired from time to time. But when you’re struggling to get up in the morning, every morning, don’t give yourself a hard time.

It may well be a sign that it’s time to ask for some extra support. If exhaustion’s a recurring issue, ask yourself if you might be heading towards burnout.

2. Burnout is confusing

When capable, intelligent women find their brains just aren’t working, burnout’s likely to be the cause.

“A grey cloud fogging my brain”
“It stops me from making clear decisions and fuels self-doubt and inertia”

When we can’t think straight, more often than not, burnout’s the culprit.

3. Burnout is lonely

Burnout sneaks in to make us feel as though we’re all on our own. Words like “isolated”, “alone” and “cut off” came up again and again when women reflected on their experiences.

The truth is, you’re not alone – this is a really common experience, and one that there are so many people willing to help you through. It’s with the support of those around you, and communities like ours at One of many that you’ll find your way back out again.

4. Burnout is constricting.

“It feels like being behind bars”
“Like being stuck in the middle of a whirlwind of panic and impossibility”

We can be so quick to blame ourselves when we’re stuck, but the truth is real possibilities open up once we’re back on track and feeling taken care of.
Are you really out of options, or is overwhelm to blame?

5. Burnout is physical

It might not have a medical diagnosis, but our bodies are often the first to give us powerful indications that something’s up.

“It feels like a metallic ‘taste’ in my whole body”
“Thinking causes physical pain in my head and I can’t get my face to smile”

For you it might be a sensation in your throat, tummy or shoulders. Learn to spot it early, and you’ll be able to get the support you need before it gets too much.

6. Burnout isn’t you

“It feels like I am not me”
“Like being an imposter in your own life”
“As though I have lost the essence of me”

When things get too much, it can feel as though we’ve failed somehow. When the truth is, these are all signs that it’s time for a break. You’re exhausted, overwhelmed, and it’s time to stop and replenish yourself to get back to who you really are.

Getting out of overwhelm

If you’re starting to notice some of the signs of burnout right now, there are some simple things you can do straight away to start to turn things around.

From frantic to fruitful is a free online training I run to help get you off the treadmill and back to a space where you feel calm and in control of everything that’s on your plate. Click here to book your spot on this powerful webinar and discover a simple but counter-intuitive step-by-step approach to overwhelm.

Another exercise I’ve found really helpful to get you out of that emotional fear-based “I’ve fallen short” feeling is to consciously tap into a “celebrating and acknowledgement” phase. Start to get present to what you have achieved, instead of focusing on everything you haven’t done.

Grab a pen and paper and reflect on what you have achieved over the past six months or year. Take some time to look back and recognize what outcomes and intentions you did bring to fruition.

Even if they are smaller in number or magnitude to what you had hoped, look at the less-obvious intentions you’ve achieved

Having done that, you’ll see that, you know what? Often what’s wearing you out, more than the actual pace, more than what’s on your plate is a conflict between perhaps what you intend for yourself – your big goals and high expectations – and where you are on your journey.

Recognizing that, you may find that you can discover a new perspective that takes the pressure off and gives you space to be able take better care of yourself and be grateful for how far you’ve come.

For me, going through this process gives me access to an energy which is forgiving, nurturing and nourishing. And I hope that you’ll be able to do the same, if you recognise some of the signs of burnout starting to creep up. Challenge yourself to be gentler. Challenge yourself to pull your goals back.

If you’re nice to yourself, you might just discover that you can be more, do more, and give more than you ever thought possible.

Feeling particularly stuck?

Sometimes we are so burned out that no amount of positive reflection on our own is going to help. You may well need professional support- medical or otherwise.

Don’t be embarrassed. This is all too common in women, and very frequent symptom of what we affectionately call “Superwoman Syndrome”.

If this feels like the situation for you and you’re not sure which way to head, please reach out to one of our team by booking a call here. We are more than happy to help you determine whether this is something that can be handled with some gentle slowing down and coaching, or whether you need to seek other professional help.

Burnout is a biggie. Let’s help each other recognise it, heal it, and shift the culture to prevent it.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Why sleep matters

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Remember when you were a kid and staying up late was just about the biggest treat there was?

Somehow you just KNEW that the most exciting things were bound to happen as soon as you closed your eyes… and you’d do anything to stretch bedtime out just a little further.

How times change, huh? If you’re anything like me, nowadays an early night and a long lie-in the next day is the gift money can’t buy.

Whether it’s lying awake with tasks and to-dos running through your mind, staying up late scrolling through social media or late nights when it just feels like we’ll never be done with the day’s tasks, these days it can be pretty challenging to get the rest we need.

Today I want to share a perspective on why sleep matters which you might not have considered.

Why sleep matters

Now, full disclosure: As the mum of two small kids, I can’t deny that sleep (or the lack thereof) has been something of an obsession in our house over the past year. There’s nothing like running a business on five hours of sleep, between two parents, to bring home the vital importance of getting the rest you need.

But assuming you’re not struggling through on a few short hours of shut eye (in which case you don’t need me to tell you why sleep matters), I want to get you thinking about this whole topic in a different way. For starters, have you considered that the way you look at your basic needs might be very different to the way a man would?

Take a look at this video to see what I mean:

Our mission at One of many is to equip one million grassroots women leaders to create the change we want to see in the world. That word “grassroots” is so important. We’re not saying you need to be CEO of a corporation, or be running for political office, to be a part of this change. (Of course, if you are, that’s awesome!).

But the women we want to see stepping up as leaders are also those incredible mums holding families together and raising kids who are brave and kind and ready to do the right thing.

The managers who take care of the people in their teams and bring humour, humanity and love to the corporate world.

Those of us taking care of ageing parents; babysitting for our friends so they can finally have that date night they’ve been talking about; setting boundaries and having difficult conversations that need to happen.

Taking care of your needs isn’t just about you

If every single one of us stepped up to be the powerful, inspiring leaders we’re capable of being, I believe we would see a bigger transformation than the world has ever known. To do that, we need energy. The kind that comes, at minimum, from getting the right sleep, nourishment and movement.

The bottom line is, your needs matter, and if you keep pushing them to the bottom of the pile, it’s not only you who will suffer. It’s your community too, and everyone who has the potential to be impacted by your unique gift to the world.

Ready to show up and shine your light as bright as the world needs you to be? Let us know in the comments!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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How to drink enough water

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

If there was a really easy, almost completely free way to increase your energy, boost your performance and make you look younger, would you leap at it? Most of us have a vague idea we could probably be more hydrated. But we don’t always know how to drink enough water, so today I want to share what I’ve learned about how to easily make this huge difference to your life.

Simply upping our water intake is one of the most effective things you can do to impact your mental clarity and our overall wellbeing. So if you know you’re going through your days drier than an Aussie backyard at the end of a long summer, read on.

The day I realized how important water is

My personal “aha” moment came a while back, when I got so rundown that I ended up in a clinic to have intravenous vitamins administered via a drip. (It’s an extreme example, I know!).

Incredibly, I started feeling better almost immediately – even before the vitamins could possibly have taken effect. That’s when I realised the reason was simple: the hydration boost I was getting from the drip meant I finally had enough water in my body.

There and then, my intellectual understanding that my body needed water was transformed into an experience of just how much of a difference it can make.

From one quick blast of hydration I felt happier, more energized and mentally sharper than I had done in weeks. Nowadays, I’m evangelical about the difference simply staying hydrated can have on our lives – and I also know it’s not as easy as it sounds.

Research shows that 80% of adults in Australia and 75% in the United States are dehydrated, so if you suspect you could do with drinking a bit more water but aren’t sure how to make that intention a reality, read on.

Water makes a bigger difference than we think

If you’ve ever felt tired for no reason, felt foggy or stuck, or just feel that you’re not performing at your best, try looking at your hydration habits. Keeping hydrated makes a difference to so many areas of our lives.

Water…

  • Helps alkalize the body
  • Plumps our cells, making us look more “well”
  • Balances our moods and emotions
  • Increases our metabolism: drinking water has been proven to reduce hunger and also temporarily improve your metabolism by 24-30%.
  • Helps our joints stay lubricated and our organs functioning optimally
  • Boosts our cognitive ability. Research by a UK university found that when we’re dehydrated we’re as prone to making errors whilst driving as if we’d drunk low levels of alcohol – and yet many of us make most of our decisions in this state!

How to know if you’re dehydrated

A drop of just 1% in hydration can negatively affect our cognitive ability and mood. It takes a drop to 2% before we start feeling thirsty, by which point we’re already dehydrated.

Of course, if you already drink plenty of water, I’m not suggesting you overdo it. Drinking more than the recommended amount can actually be harmful.

But if you know you tend to skip hydrating yourself, think about whether you’ve experienced any of these symptoms:

  • Feeling tired even before you start your day
  • A heavy headed or “brain fog” sensation
  • Headaches
  • Getting cravings for certain foods
  • Feeling down or dejected

Any of these could be a sign you need to up your water intake.

3 top tips for how to drink enough water

If you’re curious about the difference water could make to your wellbeing, it’s time to get some good hydration habits in place.

  1. Make sure you’re drinking the right stuff

Staying hydrated is best achieved with water (coffee and alcohol can actually dehydrate us). Our bodies also need salt to absorb water, so try experimenting with a “hydration hero” once a day to see if that helps you get more of the benefits. Simply mix 1 part fruit juice to 4 parts water, and add a pinch of salt.

  1. Try water scheduling

I learned this tip from Geeta Sidhu-Robb, health coach and one of the mentors at our BeVital retreat, and I’ve used it ever since. The idea is to set a schedule for how much water to drink during the day. Here’s how the day breaks down:

  • 1 glass of water first thing in the morning
  • 2 glasses of water at 12pm, 3pm and 5pm
  • 1 glass of water at 7pm
  • Bonus: 1 glass of water at 10pm (if you’re still awake!)

For me, this schedule made a huge difference. I literally set an alarm on my phone to remind me to go and drink my water (these can also be great prompts for quick movement breaks). But what works for me might not work for you, which leads me to my third suggestion…

  1. Know yourself

Lots of us have tried to increase our water intake at various times, but we each have our own unique needs. Maybe you’re more of a water sipper – having a jug of water on your desk is a better strategy than drinking whole glasses at certain times. Personally, I hate drinking cold water first thing, and prefer to have a mug of hot water with a squeeze of lemon. Or perhaps you’d rather have herbal teas to make up your quota.

Whatever your preference, you might be surprised what a difference upping your water intake can make. Got a tip or a story to share about your hydration? Let us know in the comments!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Guest Blog: 10 things you need to know about your hormones

By

Nicki Williams

Nicki Williams

Nicki Williams is a qualified Nutritional Therapist, author, speaker and founder of Happy Hormones for Life, helping women to get back to their absolute best – slimmer, energized, more productive and in full control of their hormones!
Nicki Williams

Latest posts by Nicki Williams (see all)

Are your hormones sending you on a physical and emotional roller coaster? You might not be aware how much these little chemical messengers actually rule your life.

Did you know that there are over 100 identified hormones in the body? And they aren’t just about your monthly cycle — they control your metabolism, weight, energy, mood, brain function, sleep and much more…

Hormones really do control how we look, feel, think and perform — and for something so important, we don’t know an awful lot about them.

So here are 10 of the most important things to know about your hormones;

1) Deprivation diets don’t work

Deprivation diets won’t work if your hormones are out of balance (and that’s for most women over 40!). That’s because this type of diet puts your body into stress mode — it literally thinks you are in a famine!

Once in stress mode, cortisol kicks in and tells your fat cells to hang on for dear life and shutting down your metabolism, so when you start eating normally again, guess what? Yep, even more weight goes on and here we go again…

TIP: Ditch diets for good and start nourishing your hormones instead so that they increase your metabolism and get you burning fat, not storing it.

2) Your stress hormones have priority over everything

When your body is in survival mode too often, high levels of cortisol will not only store fat (usually around your belly), but will suppress your immune system, cause digestive issues and crash your energy levels and sex drive.

TIP: Recognise your stressors (it might not be just the obvious ones) and prioritise daily stress management (deep breathing, yoga, mindfulness, music etc).

3) Peri-menopause can start at 35!

Some women sail through these years, but the majority will suffer with symptoms including fatigue, weight gain, mood swings, PMS, brain fog, poor sleep, low libido and hot flushes.

TIP: You are much more likely to sail through these years if you have a hormone friendly diet and lifestyle. Start now!

4) Sleep is non-negotiable

Getting less than six hours of sleep a night can seriously impact your energy, mood and waistline, as well as increase your risk of more serious health conditions as you get older.

TIP: Make sure you are prioritising a good night’s sleep — get to bed by 10.30, switch off your gadgets, keep the room pitch black and avoid caffeine/alcohol.

5) Don’t skimp on the fat

Many of your hormones are made from fat, so stay away from the skinny lattes! Eating healthy fats also helps you feel full and balance blood sugar, reducing insulin (your fat-storing hormone).

TIP: Choose avocados, nuts, seeds, olive oil, coconut oil, organic full fat dairy, grassfed meat and oily fish.

6) The gut — hormone connection

Your gut and hormones are inextricably linked! Food sensitivities or gut flora imbalances can upset the way your hormones work and reduce the absorption of the nutrients your hormones need.

TIP: Cut out any foods that you might be sensitive to (gluten, dairy, soy and corn are the big ones) and see if your symptoms improve. Get tested if you suspect any underlying infection. Eat more fermented foods (live yoghurt, sauerkraut, kefir, kombucha) to restore your good bacteria.

7) Look after your liver

If your liver is clogged up, toxins and waste can hang around longer than necessary, messing with the natural detoxification of your hormones, especially oestrogen.

If your liver is busy with that bottle of wine you had last night, it won’t be able to deal with your oestrogen, recirculating it back into your system, potentially causing PMS, bloating, headaches, mood swings and breast tenderness.

TIP: Reduce your exposure to toxins around you. Switch to more natural organic household and personal care products, avoid plastic, reduce alcohol and choose organic foods.

8) Vitamin D is your secret hormone

If you live in the UK or Northern hemisphere, you are likely to be Vitamin D deficient, as you are not going to be getting enough year round sunshine.

Vitamin D is actually a hormone, and it supports all your other hormones, as well as being a huge friend to your immune system (and an important breast cancer protector).

TIP: Get your Vitamin D levels tested and take supplements throughout the winter months.

9) Your thyroid hormones run your metabolism

If your thyroid hormones are too high, you’ll get anxious, sweaty, palpitations and weight loss. Too low and you could have fatigue, weight gain, brain fog, low mood, cold hands/feet, PMS, hair loss and a lot more!

TIP: Get your thyroid properly tested if you suspect you may be affected (contact us for info on testing). Eat coconut oil to help boost your metabolism.

10) Too much exercise can ruin your hormones

Many women think they have to do more exercise to lose weight. But too much and the wrong kind can increase cortisol, stressing out your body and actually making you hang on to fat!

TIP: Exercise smarter. Listen to your body. Take regular breaks from sitting. Walk more. Short burst (or HIIT) training can increase fat burning hormones like testosterone and growth hormone. Do yoga. Vary your routine.

Look after your hormones and notice the difference

There is a lot more to know about hormones (I’ve been studying them for over seven years!) but if you get to grips with these 10 first, you’ll start to notice a real difference.

If you’d like any help with your own hormone issues, you can download my free Hormone Balancing Guide or get in touch for a free 30 minute Discovery Call.

 

About Nicki Williams

The chocolate, coffee and wine loving nutritionist!

Nicki Williams is a qualified Nutritional Therapist, author, speaker and founder of Happy Hormones for Life, helping women to get back to their absolute best – slimmer, energized, more productive and in full control of their hormones!

After failing to find any medical help for her symptoms of exhaustion, weight gain and hormone issues herself in her early 40’s, she discovered that she could turn things around using diet, lifestyle and natural supplements.

She went on to qualify as a nutritional therapist and hormone expert, and now helps women all over the world with her online programmes, workshops and individual and group coaching.

She has recently published her first book;

It’s not you, it’s your hormones; The essential guide for women over 40 to fight fat, fatigue and hormone havoc.

You can get it here on Amazon.