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Guest post: Is ignorance bliss? How to stop avoiding your finances

By

Mary Waring
Mary Waring
Recovering superwoman | Dog obsessed | Never too old to change

Mary is a chartered accountant and chartered financial planner – one of only a handful of advisers in the whole of the UK with these qualifications. She’s passionate about changing the way women think about finance, so that they are better equipped to make informed decisions about their future.
Mary Waring
Latest posts by Mary Waring (see all)

Are you someone who’s been avoiding your finances? Then let me tell you a story. I remember the first time I had to give unwelcome news to a client. She was a doctor in her late 50s and had come to take financial advice because she planned to retire at 60 and wanted to check what income she would be able to draw.

At that first meeting she passed over a large bundle of statements showing her holdings, a number of which were very out of date. It was therefore impossible at the meeting to determine the value of what she had saved.

The day before our follow up meeting I had a sleepless night worrying about how she might respond to the news I was about to give her.

Would she burst into tears?

Would she just shrug and say “Oh I’m glad I found out now”?

As a new client I didn’t know her well enough to know how she would respond. And I was quite nervous.

You see, not only could she not retire at 60, but it looked as though retiring at 65 was also unlikely. Really dreadful news for someone who thought her future looked rosy and who was planning how to spend her time when she was no longer working.

Yes, as you can imagine, the news did not go down well.

But at least she was then aware of the situation and being aware was able to address it and do something about it. Admittedly the plan we came up with was completely different to the one she had wanted, but at least she did have a plan. And she agreed this was better than being totally unaware of her situation.

Avoiding your finances? I definitely do not hold the belief “ignorance is bliss”!

Ignorance is a head in the sand approach to not dealing with those issues that cause any form of upset.

But, just like the constant, niggling pain you have which you can ignore for only so long before seeking medical advice, ignorance about your finances cannot continue indefinitely. At some point real life will come and bite you on the bum!

You either find out now, which hopefully gives you time to do something about it if needed.

Or you find out when it’s too late. And then you probably regret not doing something earlier and you kick yourself for ignoring it.

“Hindsight is a wonderful thing! But it’s called hindsight because we have it after the event rather than before.”

I’ve been lucky that since that situation I have rarely had to give such bad news. But I was reminded of that first instance yesterday when I had a meeting with a new client. Let’s call her Jane.

When reality hurts

Jane had recently divorced, had received a financial settlement and was planning her future, and feeling very positive about what was ahead of her. She had moved out of the family home some time earlier and was living in rented property. Following her settlement, she felt now might be the right time to buy a property.

However, she was unsure about where she wanted to be based, and was looking at the options of Scotland, Cornwall or London. And obviously the choice of location would involve a significantly different house purchase value.

We discussed in advance what she wanted her financial plan to look like, and decided on three different property purchase prices and a rental option.

The outcome for Jane: only the rental and lower purchase price allowed her to have the ongoing spending she wanted. For the other 2 options she would have to reduce her ongoing spending so much it wasn’t practical.

Was my client disappointed? Yes, of course she was, since she realised various options she had considered (including buying a property in London) was no longer viable. This was a bitter blow to her.

But as we looked at it further, she realised she still had many options. She could still buy a beautiful house and make it a loving and welcoming home for herself and for her children when they visited. She could still have a wonderful lifestyle enjoying holidays and many luxuries. We concentrated on the options that were available to her, rather than the options that weren’t.

As the meeting progressed, Jane started to see how she could use this knowledge to her advantage rather than dwell on the options which were no longer feasible. In many ways it made her choices easier because the London location was no longer an option to consider.

Avoiding your finances? Consider this

I firmly believe ignorance is not bliss. It’s a means of putting off the inevitable until it’s too late to ignore it anymore.

I believe knowledge is key. It allows you to make plans knowing you have the financial means to support your plan. After all, a plan which you can’t afford is simply a wish.

So, how about you? Have you been avoiding your finances?

Here’s a quick exercise to help you turn things around.

  • Think about all the areas of your money – your current spending/daily budget, investments, pensions, savings. How clear are you on your current situation and how clear on where you’re heading?
  • Is there an area you’re completely in the dark about?
  • How can you get the information you need to check you’re on track – print off statements, request an update, make an appointment with a financial adviser like Mary?

Do it today and get one step closer to taking back control.

Let us know your thoughts!

Do you think ignorance is bliss or do you prefer a plan?

If you want to have a confidential no obligation discussion, please contact me on mary@wealthforwomen.biz.

About Mary

Recovering superwoman | Dog obsessed | Never too old to change

Mary is a chartered accountant and chartered financial planner – one of only a handful of advisers in the whole of the UK with these qualifications. She’s passionate about changing the way women think about finance, so that they are better equipped to make informed decisions about their future.

You can find Mary online at the following links:

Twitter: @marywaring

Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/marywaring

Website: www.wealthforwomen.biz

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Guest post: How to invest in the future YOU want

By

Donna Bradshaw
Latest posts by Donna Bradshaw (see all)

It’s fair to say that until very recently, finance has been a man’s world. No wonder many women struggle to know how to invest in a way that will make a difference. Even today, at the top of the power pyramid, men still hold court to a great extent. All 10 of the world’s richest people are men, as are most of the leaders of the world’s largest economies.

Not that they are doing a particularly great job of things, if their handling of Covid compared to their female peers is anything to go by!

They’ve not been doing too great with the economy either, unless you happen to be in the upper decile or so. That has serious long term repercussions, which have been brought into focus by the pandemic. Put simply, if people aren’t paid enough to buy stuff there will come a point when big business suffers from a lack of customers – not that this seems to be registering. On Friday 6th March this year I did a talk about the fragility of global economies, highlighting the systemic problems and the similarities with the 1930’s and how such conditions usually resulted in revolution and/or war. I ended my talk with a hope for a gentle revolution.

On Monday 9th March, news broke that the pandemic was worse than feared, and stock markets around the globe plummeted. It’s clear that “gentle revolution” is needed more than ever.

And I believe empowering women to participate and shape the world of finance is critical if we’re to escape our current economic challenges. When we know how to invest in the future WE want, we can begin to really change what’s possible.

What blocks women from knowing how to invest?

Plato wrote:

“Those who tell the stories rule society.”

I believe passionately that women should have an equal say in creating those stories. And to do so we have to have fairer distribution of what drives those stories, namely wealth.

The world of money is more gendered than most. And the statistics surrounding savings and investments paint a stark picture. Far from feeling confident when it comes to knowing how to invest…

  • By the time a woman is in her early 60s, her average pension pot is a fifth the size of that of a man her age.
  • 35% of women earning over £40,000 are not saving adequately for the longer term.
  • 64% of self-employed women feel they are not saving adequately (37% don’t know how much they’re saving!)
  • More than 2.6 million women have been put off investing because of the number of funds on offer, according to research from Scottish Friendly.
  • More than four in ten (43%) – or 2.64 million – women who save more than £100-a-month have avoided investing because they were discouraged by the vast number of funds available in the market.

Put together, this is a deeply concerning picture. Wealth inequality is a global concern and has resulted in growing political polarisation and civil unrest in, what have been to date, the world’s leading economies.

What’s more, the financial services industry itself has a huge amount of inequality to contend with! HSBC has reported a 47.8% median hourly pay gap between men and women – and financial services has the worst gender pay gap of any UK industry. Female advisers are outnumbered six to one by male counterparts. No wonder we find this a challenging topic!

So, what can we do to change things?

Investing is a huge part of our global economy. And I believe it’s one of our most underutilised ways to have an impact as women. In fact, I’m currently working on an investment app to empower women to learn how to invest,  take charge of their investments and have a say in the future direction of our world through making informed choices about where their money is invested. This really is my passion!

In the meantime, there are 4 key actions which I believe can help us begin to take back control of our global stories about wealth. Some of them will take a bit of time, and involve educating yourself and asking for support. But there are plenty of resources out there to help us to do this. And just committing to building your knowledge when it comes to these areas is a vital first step.

4 ways to impact inequality with your investments

#1 Take control of your investment choices.

Investing doesn’t have to be a secretive, complicated or male-dominated practice. If you’re able to start investing, make sure you’re given the power to make choices about where your money goes. Talk to a financial adviser, and if you don’t get your questions answered, feel free to find someone who will explain exactly what you CAN do. And if it all feels too uncomfortably obscure for you… time for step #2

#2 Learn how to invest.

As Jo Martin has often said, it’s not our fault that we don’t fully feel confident around this topic. It’s simply that we weren’t taught about it – and many of us feel ashamed to admit to what we don’t know. But you can change that. Start small, and learn a little about how to invest and the difference even a small amount of money can make. You’ll be surprised how quickly you can pick up a basic understanding.

#3 Demand greater transparency.

When it comes to investments we can find ourselves inadvertently supporting practices we don’t agree with, simply because the financial services sector often obscures so much of its workings. Don’t be afraid to ask questions (especially the “stupid” ones!), demand explanations, and require clear answers as to where your money’s going. The more of us who expect openness and clarity around our investments, the more the sector will need to pay attention to these demands.

#4 Vote with your wallet.

Say no to bad business practice – including a lack of transparency, refusal to act with integrity, or approach that alienates women from what’s going on. You don’t need to be immensely wealthy to have a say. Your voice truly matters – and the more of us who decide to stand up and take back our control, the more we can shape the future.

Knowledge is power. I hope in future articles to share more around how to invest – what’s out there, how it works, what the jargon means, and the true nature of risk (we are by nature more risk averse than men. It’s a fact that can seriously damage our wealth – but that’s a topic for another time!). But I’d love to know what you’re most curious about — and where to start first.

So, tell me!

How do you feel about investments? Is it something you’ve thought about; have you been put off by the financial services sector in the past, or have you found an approach that works for you?

Let us know in the comments – and feel free to ask me questions! And if there are any topics you would like me to cover in future articles, drop me a line.

About Donna…

Data loving | Eternally curious | Problem solver

Donna BradshawDonna has a background in financial services going back to 1987, a large part of it in marketing and communications. A prominent speaker and commentator about all things money and the economy, she’s appeared countless times in the national press and on television and radio including BBC Budget Special, BBC News, ITN News, Channel 4 News, SKY News, Newsnight, Al Jazeera, Bloomberg, Radio 4 Today Programme, Moneybox, Radio 5, Radio 2 and Women’s Hour. A good memory coupled with a fascination for data enabled her to “call” the credit crunch a couple of years before it happened! She was also a founder member of Sky News’ Money Panel, providing comment on the Bank of England Monetary Policy Committee’s monthly interest rate decisions.

Donna has featured on judging panels for numerous investment fund awards, including: What Investment and Pensions Management, and acted as an expert witness for Which magazine, as well as being consulted by Government on pensions policy. When not number crunching, Donna’s volunteered as a teacher of adult literacy and numeracy skills, driven 6,000 km solo across Australia, fought a bush fire, worked as a ski guide and tried her hand at stand-up comedy (terrifying and exhilarating). She has a passion for yoga, and is partial to the occasional cryptic crossword.

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Guest post: Powering up your money using the Sacred Money Archetypes

By

Dr Nikki Ramskill
Dr Nikki Ramskill
Nikki is an NHS doctor of over 10 years of experience, and is the founder of The Female Money Doctor – an online money coaching company helping women from all over the world to feel less stressed about money. She takes a simple, jargon-free and relaxed approach to help women feel at ease and able to open up about their finances. She believes that we cannot be truly healthy while a money nightmare is going on in the background. Her ultimate goal is to empower women to take control of their finances in whatever way suits them, and spread this knowledge to their children to break the chains of financial stress that can so often run through generations.
Dr Nikki Ramskill
Latest posts by Dr Nikki Ramskill (see all)

Did you know that a whopping 61% of women would rather talk about their own death than money?!

This doesn’t really come as a surprise though does it? Money is one of the great “taboo” subjects that we’re taught not to discuss at the dinner table, so it’s no wonder that so many of us struggle with it.

I’m no exception.

I haven’t always been good at managing my money. In fact, if you had spoken to the Nikki from 10 years ago, you would definitely have been met with a completely clueless, overwhelmed and frustrated individual, who earnt a good wage as a doctor, but had literally nothing to show for it.

In fact, I had so little of anything to “show for it”, after walking away from a controlling relationship, I only had my clothes, my make up and my books left. I even had to leave my fur-babies behind which was heart-breaking!

From that point onwards, I vowed never to be in that situation again.

Thankfully 10 years on, I’m debt free, building wealth and living a life in alignment with my core values – freedom, fun and abundance, and I’m now helping others to do the same. I’ve since trained as a Sacred Money Archetypes® coach, and in this post, I want to tell you all about how this can help you to manage your money with grace, ease and total alignment to who you are. It has totally transformed mine!

The 5 Women’s PowerTypes

In the One of many community, we’re familiar with the concept of archetypes through the 5 Women’s PowerTypes – Sorceress, Mother, Lover, Queen and Warrioress. We get that when we don’t look after our needs, we become one of the disempowered archetypes – the bitch, martyr, or victim. We also know that we may favour one PowerYype over another, and for example, bring Mother to every conversation, often with mixed (and perhaps not as effective!) results.

The amazing thing about bringing conscious awareness to how we use these PowerTypes, is that we can do just that – use them to our best advantage and bring our best selves to the table.

They help us to become more effective in everything that we do, from business, to home life and how we look after ourselves.

But what about money?

Yes, it will even have an impact there too!

But while the PowerTypes help us to bring the right kind of energy to a situation, they don’t define who we are as individuals.

There are additional archetypes that explain:

• WHY and HOW we do what we do in life;
• WHO we are as a person;
• WHY for example we bring lots of mother, but less of sorceress or lover to a given situation;
• And WHY we don’t have the results we want when it comes to our finances.

And those are known as the Sacred Money Archetypes®.

How We Do Money Is How We Do Everything

“How we do money is how we do everything” is my favourite quote from the creator of the Sacred Money Archetypes®, Kendall Summerhawk. She realised that there are 8 unique personality types who handle money in slightly different ways, and our unique personality is made up of all 8 of them.

However, 3 of them will have THE MOST impact on what we do.

This doesn’t just include money. The money archetypes can literally affect everything in our lives, and once you start to explore yours, you’ll notice so many parallels and similarities. It’s eye-opening!

Each archetype has gifts and challenges, and if we learn this about our most influential archetypes, we can then start to create a path to wealth and abundance that is more suited to this.

We work to our “zone of genius” rather than against it. We can stop sabotaging our efforts because we can then see which archetype might be to blame for our overspending tendencies, or for being so scared of getting into debt or investing that we remain stuck and can’t take the next step in building wealth.

Who Are The Sacred Money Archetypes?

The 8 types are:

• Nurturer
• Alchemist
• Maverick
• Accumulator
• Celebrity
• Romantic
• Connector
• Ruler

If you’re typically an overspender, but don’t mind taking risks, you may have Romantic, Celebrity or Maverick to blame.

If you save well, but avoid debt/investing/taking any kind of risk, you might be an Accumulator.

If you would prefer to stick your head in the sand and not think about money at all, you might be a Connector or an Alchemist.

If you’re a collector of achievements and find it hard to switch off, you could be a Ruler.

And if you love spending money on others at the detriment of yourself, then you could have Nurturer in your top three.

What Does This Mean For Your Money?

There is no “good” or “bad” archetype. They all have their own way of doing things, and even if your unique blend is similar to someone else’s, it will still manifest itself in your life in a slightly different way. This is because when we are unconscious about the way we are doing things, we will act out our money personality unconsciously. This will be impacted by the way we were brought up, the past experiences we have had, and the cultures we come from and live in. We run the risk of living mostly in the “shadow” sides of our Sacred Money Archetypes in exactly the same way that we may bring a less appropriate PowerType to a business meeting or conversation with a loved one.

The key to managing your money in a way that doesn’t feel like pushing water up a hill, is to identify how YOUR top archetypes like to do things.

When you start to understand this, you can then put structures in place around your money that helps you to manage it in a way that satisfies the gifts of your archetype AND manages the challenges.

Next Steps

If you want to take the first step in finding more about yours, then I welcome you to take The Sacred Money Archetypes® quiz and get a break down of your archetypes, including a more in depth look at your top-most one.

I hope you enjoy finding out more about yourself so you can start to build wealth and abundance in alignment with who you are. Good Luck!

Nikki x

Dr Nikki Ramskill
The kind-hearted, wine-loving, adventure-seeking Maverick!

Nikki is an NHS doctor of over 10 years of experience, and is the founder of The Female Money Doctor – an online money coaching company helping women from all over the world to feel less stressed about money. She takes a simple, jargon-free and relaxed approach to help women feel at ease and able to open up about their finances. She believes that we cannot be truly healthy while a money nightmare is going on in the background. Her ultimate goal is to empower women to take control of their finances in whatever way suits them, and spread this knowledge to their children to break the chains of financial stress that can so often run through generations.

You can find her at https://thefemalemoneydoctor.com or email info@thefemalemoneydoctor.com for more information.

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How to talk about money

By

Joanna Martin
Joanna Martin
Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin
Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Are you comfortable talking about finances with the people in your life? Or would you rather share sex tips in a team meeting than another blow-up with your partner about long term savings plans? If you’re not sure how to talk about money in a way that feels constructive, empowering and productive, read on. I’m really passionate about this topic, and I want to share my best tips on how to talk about money without it feeling weird.

(Got your own suggestions? Make sure to leave a comment at the end – let’s open this up and share what we’ve learned!)

Before we dive in, let’s take a minute to think about why money conversations can feel so awkward. The short answer is – we often have very little experience of money being talked about in a healthy, matter of fact way.

Why you need to know how to talk about money

Many of us don’t learn about money until we start earning our own. And more often than not, that “education” comes in the form of an invitation from a “friendly” bank to sign up for a credit card. Before we know it, we’re stuck in debt or feel like we’re too old to go back to the basics.

(You’d be surprised how many “super successful” women come along to our events and confess they’ve not got the first clue when it comes to managing their money!)

Here at One of many, we have two motives for wanting to empower women when it comes to money. Firstly, we want you to feel in control of what’s happening in your life. If finances are something you feel confused, frightened or overwhelmed about, you’re never going to have the impact you’re here to.

Secondly, our mission is to change the world. We know that when women are confident to make decisions about budgets, they make excellent decisions. Global research from the World Economic Forum shows women tend to spend more on education, health and nutrition among other positive impacts.  So helping you get your confidence won’t just turn things around for you and your family. It will ultimately help us change the world.

An even bigger motivation to move past the awkwardness and start talking about money, right?

So, here are 4 ways to start embracing money conversations and taking back control of your finances:

#1 Take the emotion out of money

When you’re feeling riled up or triggered, it’s really hard to have a straightforward conversation about any topic. When we run our trainings and retreats around finances, most of the women in the room aren’t there because of how much (or how little) money they have in their bank accounts.

They’re there because of how those numbers make them feel.

If your finances are connected to your self worth or your sense of fulfilment, it’s only natural that having a discussion about joint bank accounts can quickly feel like criticism.

And if you feel secretly ashamed of your financial situation, of course you’ll struggle to talk openly about making responsible choices with your kids.

Take some time to reflect on your own relationship with money.

And if you feel like you could do with some extra help, book a call with the office to find out more about our trainings and retreats by clicking here.

Our programmes are designed with women like you in mind. From online training you can work through in your own time to weekend retreats with our extraordinary coaching team, we might well have just the expert support you need to let go of your baggage.

#2 Get clear about your values

Everyone’s finances look different. We all have slightly different priorities, and there’s no right or wrong way to decide what they are.

Some people really value being able to enjoy small daily pleasures… others delight in giving up their latte habit and seeing the savings add up to a big-ticket spend.

You might be someone who really values careful investing for the long term… or be proud of the percentage of your income you donate to the causes that matter to you.

One of the biggest challenges we can face in money conversations is “justifying” our decisions. That’s because a lot of the time we’re making choices that aren’t really related to our values in a clear way; they’re just what we vaguely feel we “should” do, or are habits we’ve picked up unconsciously.

Getting clear on your values might change the decisions you make about your finances, or you might discover that your current set up aligns perfectly with what matters. Either way, you’ll feel a whole lot more confident when your priorities are top of mind, and you know your finances reflect that.

Money conversations are easier when you know what’s most important to you, and you’re clear on how your saving, spending and investing supports those values.

#3 Be careful of your language

Personally, I’ve become really conscious of the language I use about money since becoming a parent. It started when James was just a tiny toddler, starting to get interested in shiny coins. “Ooooh!” I’d say, looking at his little handful of clutched change. “Look at all those coins! Clever you, you’re so rich!”.

Unthinking comments like that started me thinking about what messages I was conveying when I modelled finances for my child. Did I really want him to associate wealth with praise and approval?

But the same applies if you’re talking to your friend, boss or partner.

Do you describe yourself as “lucky” to have a salary – even though it’s way lower than your male colleagues?

Do you tell your friends “I’m just hopeless with numbers”, instead of sharing how frustrated you feel that your partner makes the long-term financial decisions?

And how often do the words “I can’t afford it” come out of your mouth, when the truth is “It’s not a priority for me right now” would be more accurate?

Language matters. Pay attention to the stories you’re telling yourself, and see what might shift in your conversations if you changed the words you use.

#4 Talk about it

The best way to talk about money is to… well… talk about it!

Honestly, I think this is the trick so many of us are missing. We find it hard to talk about money, and so we don’t – but that only makes the next conversation more difficult.

Like any taboo subject, it takes a while to feel comfortable talking about something that’s not part of your usual repertoire.

Maybe you feel a bit awkward.

Maybe you don’t know the answers to the questions your kids have.

Maybe your friend’s offended at a question about her pension arrangements, or a well-meaning “check in” with your partner blows up into a row.

It happens. None of us are perfect, and none of us have all the answers.

But the best thing to do in situations where money talk feels hard, is take a deep breath. Acknowledge that this is new ground and that you’re trying out a new approach of being more open – laugh about it, if you can!

But keep talking.

Talk to your kids, talk to your friends’ kids, talk to your colleagues.

Let’s create a world where talking about our finances, including our mistakes and our questions and our desires, is as routine as talking about anything else.

It’s time to take the weirdness out of money! Because I think we might actually change the world if we did.

How about you

How do you feel when it comes to talking about money? Are there particular people you struggle to stay objective around, or ways you’ve found to make the conversation easier? Share your tips in the comments!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

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How to achieve financial stability

By

Joanna Martin
Joanna Martin
Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin
Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Financial stability is the foundation for so much of life. When your income and outgoings are roughly equal, and you know exactly what your money situation is, you have choices: where to focus your energy; what your next career move is; what your priorities are based on your values. And yet most of us aren’t ever taught how to achieve financial stability.

So let’s go back to basics, and explore exactly what it looks like – and how you can get there.

How to achieve financial stability

If you’re feeling unstable financially it can be tempting to throw all sorts of tactics at the problem. We rush to trim our budgets, fret about how to earn “more” with only the vaguest idea of what our goals need to be, or find ourselves overwhelmed with complicated investment and asset management plans – when in reality, we’d find ourselves derailed by an unexpected gas bill.

Distracting yourself with that stuff keeps you from the real challenge: getting a clear, unbiased picture of where you are right now, and taking responsibility for changing it.

So if the mere thought of looking at your bank statement sends you into a cold sweat, or you’ve ever found yourself saying “I’m just hopeless with money”, I invite you to stop, and take a deep breath.

Getting to grips with this doesn’t have to be a struggle. It can actually be an easy, gentle process and today I’m going to walk you through exactly what it looks like.

The first thing you need to know is this simple principle:

The key to financial stability is ACCOUNTABILITY

That’s it. That’s what you need to embrace. And if that seems too simple, or too easy (Where’s the 25-step plan? The percentages and spreadsheets?), then let’s walk through exactly what’s involved.

Step one: Take responsibility

Becoming fully responsible in this context means acknowledging that you are the one who’s responsible for your thoughts, actions, and behaviours.

If your outgoings are more than you have coming in, it’s your responsibility to make the shifts you need to.

If you don’t know your financial situation, or it fluctuates so wildly you can’t keep track of it, you’re the one who needs to take action to address that.

It’s a principle that the richest women I know follow. But it’s also a mindset you can adopt today – no matter what your circumstances.

Taking responsibility means being fully committed to “owning” what’s happening in your life, instead of placing the cause outside of your control.

A simple way to track this is to begin to notice any time you find yourself doing any of the following:

  • Placing blame on others (If my boss wasn’t so stingy about pay rises… if my partner didn’t have such expensive hobbies…)
  • Justifying your circumstances (It’s the economy… it’s my lack of qualifications… it’s the competition)
  • Shaming yourself (I’m just no good with figures… As soon as I get money I spend it… I’m never going to be rich)

This week, become aware of any time you find yourself blaming, shaming or justifying your current financial situation. That might be in conversation with others, or just as part of your internal dialogue.

How can you reframe those thoughts, so that you can begin to be someone who takes responsibility for how things are?

2. Be accountable to others

When we look at financially successful women, we generally find they’re not only committed to taking personal responsibility. They have someone in their life who they report to when it comes to their finances. It might be a coach, business partner or accountant.

For you, it might be a close friend, your partner, sister or perhaps another woman in our community.

When we lead women through the 10 Week Wealth Turnaround, our comprehensive financial training for busy women, we invite them to be accountable within our online forum and to “buddy up” with someone else on the program. We know that this makes a huge difference in how effective the techniques and tools we teach are.

Showing up and being answerable for the promises you’re making can make the difference between setting good intentions (that quickly fall by the wayside) and starting to truly get honest about what’s going on.

Who could you be accountable to? Your partner, or someone else?

Reach out to them and ask them if they’d be willing to check in with you once a week on how things are going.

3. Get clear on your numbers

The final step when it comes to reaching financial stability is being accountable in the more familiar way we think of when it comes to money.

For most successful, capable women, the biggest challenge isn’t actually earning or budgeting. Those are important pieces, but they’ll come later.

First you need to know where you are: what’s coming in, what’s going out, and what needs to change in order for things to be different.

You’ll need to know:

  1. Your expenses – How much is going out each month. This will include your obvious monthly expenditure like housing, bills and groceries as well as less frequent expenses, from annual holidays to sporadic plumbing bills or house maintenance.
  2. Your income – Not just your salary, but other income like benefits, dividends, interest payments and income from things like rental properties.
  3. Your liabilities – A fancy word for any debts you have. This might be so called “good” debt, like your mortgage, or that high interest credit card you’re trying to forget. Having it all in one place means you can begin to get to grips with what’s going on.

This is an absolutely vital step, so don’t rush or skip it. I know it might sound counter-intuitive. When you’re slowly turning crimson as your card’s declined by the supermarket cashier, or guiltily trying to hide the evidence of that late-night online shopping spree when the credit card statement arrives, it can certainly feel like getting to financial stability just means finding more money – fast.

But without a clear picture of exactly where your money’s going, you won’t be able to make the empowered, intelligent decisions you need to.

A note on fear

For many of us, this third step is the hardest.

Why?

Often, especially if we’re capable and successful in other areas of our lives, we find ourselves paralysed by fear when it comes to looking at data which relates to our personal finances. This can be true even if handling budgets is something you breeze through as part of your business or job.  

If you’re feeling uncomfortable at the thought of gathering your financials in one place, take a moment now and gently ask yourself why.

You might be afraid of what you’re going to find, when it’s all laid out in black and white. You might be worried that you can’t work out a spreadsheet, or that the maths is too complicated, or even that you’re going to be far more successful than you think. (Remember, our fears aren’t always rational!)

If that fear is enough to stop you moving forward, here’s my simple suggestion: Find someone who can do this with you. There will be someone out there who can help you. A friend, neighbour, brother, mum, or your partner. If your fear is going to cloud your ability to do this, reach out and ask someone else to help you through it.

And keep it simple! You don’t have to use a spreadsheet or fancy app. A simple sheet of paper and a pen is all the technology you need to get the clarity that will make the difference. 

From awareness to action

When you’ve got clarity on where you are, you’re able to take action based on reality.

You might be pleasantly surprised, and find that you’re actually far more flush than you think. Your income is greater than your outgoings, and you’re ready to look at the next stage of wealth.

You might realize that things need to change if you’re going to “break-even” at the end of the month. Now you know by how much, and you can probably see whether your expenses have room to be trimmed or it’s time to think about raising your earnings.

Perhaps you’re almost there. Your incomings and outgoings are roughly the same. Getting this powerful habit of accountability in place will be the final piece when it comes to reaching stability. After a few tweaks, you’ll be ready to think about your next area of focus.

Need a helping hand with your money?

At One of many, we use a model called the 4 Stages of Wealth to map financial priorities. Financial stability is just the first stage – and we help busy, capable women navigate every step of the journey.

Whether you’re wondering how to set up a budget that works to starting to think bigger about your legacy once you’ve reached financial freedom, we’d love to have a chat about supporting you to take action.

Click here to book a call with the office and find out more.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Guest Post: The Inner Game of Money

By

Rebecca Robertson
Rebecca Robertson
Rebecca Robertson is the author of Evolve Financial Planning – financial planning education for women; a TedX speaker; and the seven times award-winning Founder and Director of Evolution Financial Planning.

Rebecca is known as the financial planner who is passionate about putting women firmly in control of their finances. She has helped thousands of individuals and families to achieve financial freedom and given them peace of mind that their finances are properly protected in case the worst should happen. With 19 years’ experience, she’s proud to have a 100% satisfaction rating from her happy clients.

As well as providing holistic and independent advice to clients, Rebecca’s also been featured in the Independent’s ‘Women in Finance’ and is a regular media commentator in FT Advisor and New Model Adviser, discussing financial issues particularly in relation to women.
Rebecca Robertson
Latest posts by Rebecca Robertson (see all)

When it comes to your finances, it’s the inner game of money that makes all the difference. Today I’m going to share 4 profiles that can help you figure out what your “inner game” is, but first, let’s think about the context we’re in.

How many women do you know who are super confident about money?

You know…

  • The kind who ask (or even demand!) a pay rise at work – as they know their worth
  • Who won’t accept buying a house for a penny more than the asking price
  • Or who spend money on developing their knowledge to learn more about certain subjects specifically so they can invest more or charge more in their business?

Half your friends? Less than half? Maybe only a few of them?

There aren’t many of them out there!

We all deal with money differently

Money is a far-reaching subject, so just to be clear, I’m talking here about personal finances which affect us day to day. Those areas which mean you hide that bill in the drawer, don’t return a bank phone call, or do an online shop every day.

Perhaps you feel unable to make any decisions, so procrastinate about things or guiltily leave it to your partner to do the financial planning for your family.

It’s so very natural to do these things. Often we aren’t aware we are doing it, and more often than not people don’t challenge you on it as they have their own issues they feel they should be dealing with first…

The fact is, we all tend to doubt ourselves or feel unsure of things we don’t understand. When we understand our own behaviour, we’re able to see where we can make change most effectively, and begin to introduce new habits that will actually stick.

This is why, when I talk to my clients about where they should put their attention first, I always start with this: Money is all about the inner work.

So how can you understand what “inner game” you’re currently playing? The following 4 profiles describe different ways we can approach money.

4 Money Profiles

We all have a little part of these profiles within us, often changing due to personal circumstances and at different times of our lives. These profiles are to give you a general view on your stronger profile at this time.

They’re based on general attributes which we would ‘tend’ to find with individuals but of course, they can be different for some people. Read through and see if any of them resonate more strongly with you – or if you might be able to choose one which best describes your most usual way of handling your finances.

Prominence

  • Tend to like status objects, gadgets, clothes, shoes, cars…
  • Will buy everyone a drink because they care what people think of them.
  • Can be wishful thinkers, hoping for the best.
  • Can get into debt more easily due to these traits.

If this describes you, try to be mindful that:

No matter how many objects or objects you own it cannot bring you deep happiness. Often the joy from buying is short lived. I am not suggesting you stop spending, but try to keep a check on it and consider how else your money could be spent or invested to great a deeper level of happiness or wealth.

Big-Heart

  • Generous at heart – but sometimes that generosity could replace genuine affection.
  • As any children you may have grow older, they will begin to expect more and more, and maybe not understand many money lessons themselves.
  • You tend to put other’s needs first over yours, wanting the best for them.

If this describes you, try to be mindful that: 

Financial indulgence cannot replace love and affection. Your financial needs are equally important. Buying things for others is a lovely thing to do, but is it to make yourself feel better? Get to the root of your need and you may find your finances are a little more comfortable.

Collector

  • Would tend to hoard money, prefer low risk and will want to take the safest option.
  • Tend to save in normal bank accounts and do very well at this but won’t take the next step to invest money, for example in the stock market.
  • Won’t over commit themselves and want to create security around them.

If this describes you, try to be mindful that: 

By creating financial security, you could in fact allow yourself to discover new areas of life you’ve not yet had the chance to discover. Always being in the place of “save save save”, creates other problems – like tax – and then keeping that money secure. Saving is a great thing to do – but have a plan for it.

Bohemian

  • A free-spirited individual who will use money to break free from life and day to day strains.
  • Doesn’t really have a plan or feel worried about how they spend their money as long as it gives them a feeling of joy and independence.

If this describes you, try to be mindful that: 

Life is for living and enjoying as much as you can, but there is a pinch of reality in there which needs to be considered, like your old age. What does the future look like and how can you have the best of both worlds?

What kind of money profile are you?

You may well have a blend of some of these different profiles at play – perhaps different role models around you growing up gave sou slightly different examples. Try not to go into judgement, but simply think about which are the most dominant.

What are your money habits?

When you’ve identified your money profile, you can start thinking about your money habits. How do you save, spend, invest, or give? Are any of these areas ones which you find challanging, or which are a source of tension in your life?

Congratulations: if you know your Money Profile, you’re one step closer to handling the Inner Game of Money.

Join us for Wealth Insights

If you’re curious about wealth and want to create a life with more choice when it comes to your finances, why not join One of many‘s Wealth Insights training? It’s a free, half day life workshop about all things money – to help you finally take control of your finances, so you can make the difference you want to. Click here to sign up!

About Rebecca

Cat and dog owner  | Loves the great outdoors | Tea drinker

Rebecca Robertson is the author of Evolve Financial Planning – financial planning education for women; a TedX speaker; and the seven times award-winning Founder and Director of Evolution Financial Planning.

Rebecca is known as the financial planner who is passionate about putting women firmly in control of their finances. She has helped thousands of individuals and families to achieve financial freedom and given them peace of mind that their finances are properly protected in case the worst should happen. With 19 years’ experience, she’s proud to have a 100% satisfaction rating from her happy clients.

As well as providing holistic and independent advice to clients, Rebecca’s also been featured in the Independent’s ‘Women in Finance’ and is a regular media commentator in FT Advisor and New Model Adviser, discussing financial issues particularly in relation to women.

 

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How one hidden number shapes your life

By

Joanna Martin
Joanna Martin
Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin
Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

When it comes to talking about money, lots of us find ourselves switching off – and I’m really curious about why that is. A common excuse is that finances are kind of a “dry” topic. Income, expenditure, numbers… if you’re more of a people-loving, connecting, creative person it can be easy to dismiss money as something that’s quite frankly a bit dull. Well, today I want to share an idea that might just turn that on its head, and it’s how one hidden number shapes your life.

So if you tend to switch off or scroll past when people start talking about money, I’d love to challenge you to take a deep breath, and read on. It might just be the food for thought you need when it comes to changing your relationship with money.

Your financial set point

The idea I want to open up for you today is that each of us has a “financial set point”.

To explain what I mean, here’s how to figure out yours:

  1. Write down a rough guess at how much money you earned in the last twelve months. 
  2. And then, think about how much money you have left.
  3. If you can, repeat this process for the past 5 years – or as far back as you’re able to with ease. How much did you earn, and how much did you have left, roughly, at the end of each year?

Whether you know your exact numbers or not, this is going to give you some clues as to what’s going on.

Because what you’ll often find is that, however much your income has varied, your set point – the amount of money you typically have left – is very likely to be the same.

Your financial set point, although it’s an unconscious thing, reflects itself in your financial results.

When your financial set point is… zero

Before I began to explore this, I had no idea that my financial set point was zero. It wasn’t instantly obvious, because at that time my income was fluctuating quite radically.

I was a student, and then I was a medical intern, and then I set out on my own in business… but whether I earned a lot or a little, what was left at the end of the year was always zero.

What I began to understand was that in my world, there was always “just enough” – and I would get rid of anything that was more than enough.

Another friend of mine had a financial set point of negative ten percent. So when he earned ten thousand dollars in a year, by the end of the year, he was a thousand dollars in debt. When he started to make serious money, as you can imagine, that debt increased proportionally – and became a serious issue.

So your set point might be an amount – like negative two thousand. Perhaps, no matter how much you earn, you’ve ended up with negative two thousand pounds in the bank for the last five years of your life.

Each of us has a financial set point, and it’ll either be slightly positive, zero, or slightly negative. So take a moment, to think about that for yourself, and then spend some time writing down what you think it might be for you.

What your financial set point means

What’s fascinating to me is how your set point can offer you a really clear insight into some of the unconscious principles that can guide our financial behaviour.

After all, many of us are strongly motivated, year on year, to increase our financial pot – perhaps to get a payrise or a promotion, or to change our business practice so that we can increase our profits.

And yet if the net outcome of that is that you’re in exactly the same place financially, you might get a glimpse of a deeper issue that might need some attention.

Perhaps you’re so wedded to saving a certain percentage of your income that you’re not actually enjoying the fruits of it – instead, you’re squirrelling away funds for a “rainy day” and exasperating your family with the grip you keep on the purse strings.

Or maybe for you it’s the other way around. Get a windfall or a payrise and you’re spending the money as fast as it comes in – and then wondering why you’re still feeling insecure when it comes to your nest egg.

An interesting effect of a positive set point can be that you’ve outgrown your financial education. If you’ve been diligently accumulating wealth, but still storing it in the way you used to when you started out in your twenties, it might not be working for you as hard as it could do. Might be a good time to seek out a financial advisor for a look at the best way to help your money multiply.

Was this helpful?

If you’ve not come across this concept before, I’m really interested to hear what you found out. Did you get a feeling of at least a general direction? Did you not? Share what you find out in the comments.

Ready to explore more?

If you’re curious about what unconscious assumptions you might be making around money, and ready to look at how you could change them to create a very different experience, Wealth Insights is the place to find out more.

This half-day in-person training is your chance to get to grips with your unique situation when it comes to money, and discover the next steps you need to take towards financial freedom.

Registration opens soon and you can click here to join the priority notification list, and be first to hear when tickets are available. We’d love to see you in London in June!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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One of many Voices: Mary Waring

By

Joanna Martin
Joanna Martin
Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin
Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Mary Waring is an independent financial advisor for women and author of A Man is Not A Financial Plan, whose mission is to empower women and help them make informed decision about their finances. Today she’s giving us a peek into her day-to-day life, and how she manages her energy to allow her to continue her much-needed work.

Hi Mary! Tell us what you do, in a nutshell

I work with women going through divorce to help them feel confident about their finances, giving them clarity and peace of mind.

Give us the “big why” you feel called to do this work:

My mother was in a very unhappy marriage and couldn’t leave because she had no money in her own right. I saw the power that money, and knowledge about your money, gives you. It doesn’t necessarily make you happy. But it gives you options that may not be available to you otherwise.

What does your daily routine look like?

I love a nice lazy start to the morning with tea in bed, and my 2 spoilt springer spaniels allowed up on the bed. It gives me a good start to the day without frantically rushing around from the start. I have breakfast (always) & then start work around 8 am.

I take time off during the day to take a dog walk by the river/ go to the gym, and usually work till about 6 pm. Then it’s some form of relaxation: bath/gym/ dinner with friends

What demands do you balance every day in conjunction with your work?

I balance running a  demanding, successful business versus taking some downtime for myself.

I find it too easy to pour all my energy into work and then realise I haven’t looked after myself enough.

How do you feel about women’s “lot” these days?

It’s important to get as much help as you can. I delegate or outsource as much as possible so I can then have free time to actually do the things I want to. It makes such a difference to my enjoyment that I am not doing things I don’t enjoy. It also means I’m not doing things that drain my energy, and I don’t end up feeling resentful about the things I’m doing.

How do femininity and Soft Power feature in your business/ career?

When I first did my Women’s PowerTypes Profile, I discovered that my scores on the Queen and Lover PowerTypes were very low for me.

Because I found it challenging to access my “Queen” PowerType, I didn’t set good boundaries with the people around me. I was very much set on being a people pleaser, and keeping everyone else happy – sometimes at my own expense.

My Lover score was low for a similar reason. I was too busy spending my time and energy on others, rather than on taking good care of myself.

Since completing the 12-month Lead the Change program with One of many I’ve been able to not only understand why I had experienced the challenges I did, but take steps to find more balance, and address these issues in a sustainable way.

What is the most common emotion you feel on a day-to-day basis?

On the good days, sheer joy, delight and gratitude that I have the life I have, and that I can experience the growth I can through personal development.

Do you think you people around you (on social media, and face to face) understand who you authentically are?

On social media, probably not. I read posts but don’t often contribute, since I find social media can be too big a time stealer!

But face to face, yes, absolutely. You get what you see.

How important do you think vulnerability is in life and career?

I think it’s really important to be open and honest – to ask for help when you need it, and open up if you have queries or issues. I’ve been vulnerable in meetings when I haven’t known the answer to a question that a client has asked me. I just admitted it and said I’d find out and get back to them. To me, being honest and vulnerable instead of pretending to have all the answers is much more important than just bluffing. Apart from anything, you will often get caught out!

What do you do for SoftPlay? How do you look after yourself?

To be honest, I haven’t done anywhere near as much Soft Play as I would like. Last year I did some things to get me outside my comfort zone – like having dinner on my own, and going to the theatre on my own. I also took singing lessons, which was a big deal – highly uncomfortable for someone who believed they couldn’t sing!

This year I’m concentrating on doing things to have fun. I’m going to do  classes in aerial hoop, aerial Pilates, and try pottery.

How do you juggle your relationship and business?

My husband and I both work from home. So, on good days we can go out for dog walk together, or have lunch.

If not, we will at least generally have some form of communication during the day. I’m also planning to set aside a minimum of one working day each month that we both take off so that we can go out and have some fun.

How do you think tapping into your femininity (playing to your strengths as a woman), has impacted your relationships?

Prior to Lead The Change, my only PowerType was Superwoman! I see now how totally off-putting that can be in many situations. It’s great to be able to use the different PowerTypes as and when required.

My clients are almost exclusively women in difficult emotional situations.  So all of the different Women’s PowerTypes come into play at various stages of our working relationship, and help us to achieve the results my clients want with much more ease.

What’s one “breakthrough” you have had in your life, that shifted the way you saw things – how did it impact those around you?

I’ve gone from being Superwoman, having to win and achieve at all costs, to now concentrating on enjoying my experiences and having fun. I expect I’m much easier to live with! Since Superwoman also tended to want everyone else around her to have superpowers, too…

Who do you look up to as a woman?

So many of the beautiful women I’ve met on Lead The Change who’ve faced their issues, and come out the other side shining.

What are your sources of inspiration?

Same as above! I look at these women, and think “if they can do it, so can I”

What do you tell yourself when times are tough?

Although it can be very hard sometimes, I concentrate on the fact the Universe/God knows what’s best for you. You might not think it at the time, but it is all part of a divine plan.

What’s the soundtrack of inspiration for you?

“This is me” from Greatest Showman

Who have you listened to lately that motivated you to take action on something, anything? And why?

I love Jo’s Soft PowerCast on “your body is your compass”. It reminds me I have all the answers inside myself as to what’s right for me.

(If you’d like to listen to this and the other Soft Powercasts, you can access them at no cost when you join the BeOne community. Click here to enter your details and access this and a ton of other resources, absolutely free.)

What are you doing to help elevate the women of developing nations?

I’m a patron for The Hunger Project, who help to end poverty and hunger in developing nations by empowering women to change their communities.

About Mary

Recovering superwoman | Dog obsessed | Never too old to change

Mary is a chartered accountant and chartered financial planner – one of only a handful of advisers in the whole of the UK with these qualifications.  She’s passionate about changing the way women think about finance, so that they are better equipped to make informed decisions about their future.

You can find Mary online at the following links:

Twitter: @marywaring

Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/marywaring

Website:  www.wealthforwomen.biz

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Why money is power – and how you can get more of it

By

Joanna Martin
Joanna Martin
Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin
Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Today I want to talk about money – because our economic power as women is something which I believe we absolutely have to turn around if we are serious about shifting the way the world works. Not just for ourselves but for our kids, for our families, and for the world at large. And there’s a really important aspect to how we manage our finances that is often missing from advice about managing your money, and it starts by understanding why money is power – and how that impacts us.

Money is power

Here’s the interesting thing – as women, it’s been reported that we make 80% of the buying decisions on this planet.

Women are an army of change waiting to be tapped into.

It’s not a nation or an industry or some small group of power brokers that can actually change the world. It’s us.

The quote below comes from an article that’s almost a decade old now, and it reflects the excitement people began to feel around the world when we realized the implications of these statistics.

“Women have become the major drivers of the consumption economy in the United States, says Maddy Dychtwald, author of “Influence: How Women’s Soaring Economic Power Will Transform Our World for the Better.”

She says that women today influence 83% of all dollars spent on consumer purchases, including:
62% of all new cars
92% of vacations
90% of food
55% of consumer electronics
93% of health-care spending
94% of home furnishings

And as women have gained more economic might, they have also wielded this power differently than men, says Dychtwald. In developing countries, it has been documented that women reinvest 90% of their income in their families and communities, compared to men who reinvest only 30% to 40% of their income.”

John Cookson, How Female Economic Power Improves Society, 2010

If we get empowered around money, if we equip and empower ourselves around money and start making decisions which are in line with our values, then we could absolutely transform what the world looks like.

We don’t always realize the power we have

And yet, five years on, a US study by Fidelity Investments revealed that “eight in 10 women have refrained from discussing their finances with those they are close to”. And
just 47% of women said they would be confident discussing money and investing with a financial professional on their own.

There’s a gap, in other words, between our power to create change using our finances and our confidence in our ability to do that.

A second study by Fidelity, in 2016, analysed over 8 million investment clients and revealed that “women actually tend to outperform men when it comes to generating a return on their investments.” And yet the same report found that “when asked who they believed made the better investor this past year, a mere nine percent of women thought they would outperform men.”

The missing piece

This data is fascinating to me, because it points to something that’s long been a cornerstone of our financial training at One of many – and that’s the awareness we bring to our relationship with money.

Not how much we have, or what we plan to do with it, but the relationship itself.

Whether you feel fearful, or embarrassed, or confident, or in control…

You see, if we control the majority of the spending power, and tend to make better long-term investment decisions than men, the biggest problem we’re facing isn’t our ability to use our money. It’s having the confidence to take the reins and make those decisions in the first place.

Why we lack confidence around money

What I think we’re seeing at the moment is that over the last 100 years or so, where women have started to become empowered in the public sphere, we’re starting to see women who are showing a way of getting confidence in work.

We’ve fought our way through that glass ceiling and showed up, and we’re starting to be more confident there, we’re performing. Yes, there’s still a long way to go, but we’re doing great.

However, our money confidence is lagging behind our progress in other areas – like education, and careers. And this is a problem because if we look at the culture we live in, money is given a unique role.

All of us live in cultures where we are getting messages every day about what’s right, real, true, correct about ourselves, whether we fit in or we don’t fit in.

And for most of us, the cultural message around money – you only have to open a magazine, watch the news, or catch a movie to see this – is that money is the ultimate measure of value in our society.

If someone has more money or makes more money, the underlying assumption that the overwhelming majority of individuals will have about that person is that they are of more value than someone who makes or has less money.

Can you see how that kind of messaging can really dent our ability to feel strong and empowered financially?

How does your money confidence impact you?

Here are some questions to help you begin to explore how this messaging might be impacting you and your relationship to your finances.

Take a quiet twenty minutes to yourself, and do some journaling – write a few sentences for each question.

If you haven’t been in these situations, try closing your eyes and imagining seeing that number on your bank statement. Then connect to how that might make you feel, and write from there.

Do you find yourself equating your self-worth with how much money you’re making?

What happens to your self-confidence when your income goes down?

What happens to your self-confidence when there’s no money in the bank?

What happens to your self-confidence when you get a lot of money in the bank?

One of my clients experienced this last point vividly. Her mother died and left her an overwhelming amount of money. Now she was a great entrepreneur, who had started, run, and sold many great businesses, but she had never actually educated herself around managing her wealth.

And so when her mum died, she suddenly had a big pot of money – but no confidence to deal with it.

She found herself in a tailspin of anxiety. And that’s so normal because if we’re in a culture which rates our self-worth around money, then suddenly having a lot of it that you didn’t earn is a really fast way to dig up all kinds of psychological turmoil.

Equating money with self-worth keeps us from our power

And that’s where I think we are. As women, our money confidence is still being informed by the last few millennia where we have not been involved in commerce at all. That’s a situation which has only very recently changed so it totally makes sense that we don’t have a lot of confidence around our money.

The flip side of this cultural stuff that we’re swimming in, where women have not had opportunity to be involved with money for millennia, is all of the other messaging we get that tells us “women are crap with money”. Think about sitcoms or movies – it’s rare to see a female character who makes truly empowered financial decisions. Far more often, it’s the “ditsy blonde” piled high with shopping bags, right?

What does that do to our self-confidence?

It’s time we took back our power when it comes to money.

And the first step is to become aware of what level your confidence is at around your finances, and how that’s getting in the way of you feeling in control.

The world needs changing. We can change it with our economic power – and where we are giving our power away, then we are not fully stepping up to the calling that’s there for us.

Want more help?

If you’ve got everything else sorted in your life but you’re not looking at money, it’s your blind spot. The leak in the bucket that is your power, and it’s important to take action on this.

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Personal finances – where to start

By

Joanna Martin
Joanna Martin
Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin
Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Did you know that in the UK, where I live currently, it’s estimated women are going to hold more than 60% of the country’s wealth by 2025 ?

We are a veritable army of change waiting to be tapped into. If we equip and empower ourselves around money and start making decisions which are in line with our values, then we could transform what the world looks like.

So it’s exciting times with regards women and wealth.

But these are also hugely stressful times for a lot of us, right?

Money can be stressful

To take the UK again, only 7% of the population in this country are on track for the retirement that we want. I’m a little bit concerned about our pensions, if I’m honest. And I’m not alone.

Research tells us that 4.5 million women in the UK are losing sleep over their money situation, and it’s not just that they don’t have enough in the bank right now.

57% are losing sleep because they don’t have enough savings – they’re worried about their future. And 28% are doing okay month by month but they’ve got a huge debt that they don’t know how to manage.

All together, that’s a hell of a lot of sleep we’re losing.

It’s impacting our quality of life. It’s impacting our well-being. And arguments about money are the number one top predictor of divorce.

So unless we do something about this money stuff, our very vitality, our health, our happiness and our relationships, will continue to suffer.

Our money confidence is often our lowest area of power

Here’s a quick challenge: think about your work confidence. Whatever you do, how confident do you feel that you’re the master of your own destiny there? That you can show up, that you can do something to make a difference?

Maybe it’s 100%, it might be 50%, or it might be 10%. Go with the first number that comes to mind.

Now, compare it to how confident you feel about your ability to manage and grow your money: your money confidence.

Interesting, right?

What I think we’re seeing at the moment is that over the last 100 years or so, as women have started to become empowered in the public sphere, we’re finally feeling confident in work.

We’ve fought our way through that glass ceiling and showed up, and we’re performing. Yes, there’s still a long way to go, but we’re doing great.

However, our money confidence is often lagging behind.

(Perhaps it’s still being informed by the last few millennia where we have not been involved in commerce at all.)

We still have a tendency to give our power away – to our partners, financial advisers, or even our parents. And where we are giving our power away, then we are not fully stepping up to the responsibility, or the opportunity that’s there for us.

Because let’s face it – the world needs changing.

And we can change it with our economic power. We can change it with our empowerment. But if you’re giving your power away around money, then you’re giving your power away full stop.

Personal finances: where to start

At Be Wealth, our brilliant retreat all about women and their relationship to money, we use a simple model called the 4 Stages of Wealth to identify our financial priorities and challenges, regardless of how much money we do or don’t have. At the retreat I take a spot survey in the room, asking the women there to put up their hands to say which stage of wealth they’re at.

It’s always a fascinating exercise to me, and not for the reason you might think.

What I see first of all is that an overwhelming majority of women in the room who are at the first stage of wealth – stability, where whatever they have coming in the amount they have left over at the end of each month is zero – feel shame.

They’re like, “Oh, god, I don’t want to admit to this! I’m so embarrassed”

And then, those who are at the next stage: security – where their expenses are a little less than their income, so their savings are increasing gradually to make a rainy day fund – are also thinking ”Oh my god, I don’t want to admit to this. I’m so embarrassed…”

But then those at the next stage, who you might think have got it sorted – because their passive income is making them more than their expenses – also say “Oh, I don’t want to admit to this in public! I’m so embarrassed”.

It doesn’t matter how much money we make, we have money shame

And I believe this is the root of so much of the problem.

We’re embarrassed.

We’re embarrassed because we’re making more than the person we’re sitting next to.

We’re embarrassed because we’re making less than the person we’re sitting next to.

We’re embarrassed because we’re not further along than we “should” be based on what our parents, or our society, tells us.

I would go so far as to say 99% of the women I have spoken to around money have some kind of money shame.

And when you have embarrassment around talking about money, you cannot transform it. Because if you can’t talk about it, you can’t learn about it, and education is the thing that can turn a situation around.

If your financial situation at the moment is not what you want it to be, it’s probably because at some level, you’re embarrassed to have conversations around money.

But if you were never taught how to manage money, if you were never taught to understand how it accumulates and how it grows and how it works, how could you possibly ever do anything about that?

We need to talk about money

I believe if we really wanted to change the way that power is arranged around the world we could do so, purely by changing whether or not money is talked about.

If everybody started talking about money: how much we have, how much we don’t have, what we know about it, what we don’t know about it – if we took it out of the closet, so to speak, I think things would shake up hugely.

But we will not be able educate ourselves until we overcome this first step of speaking about it.

And it’s absolutely time to do something about this, because we have an opportunity right now to transform the world. Not just our own personal financial world, so we can have the retirement that we want, and make the kind of impact for our kids that we want, or have the lifestyle that we want. Of course we know we can change that world if we sort our money stuff out.

But I believe we can change the world for even more people if we actually transform our relationship to money. If we let go of our money shame, and actually get educated on how the damn thing works.

What do you think? Can you relate to a feeling of embarrassment or even shame when it comes to talking about your finances? Let me know what your relationship to money is in the comments.

If you’d like to explore a new way of thinking about money that takes away the shame and gives you practical, powerful actions to take at whatever stage you’re at, come along to Wealth Insights. It’s our focused money workshop that gives you the chance to talk about your finances in a safe and friendly environment – and leave with a map of how to change your financial situation for good.  Read the full details and book your place here.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.