One of Many

Woman looking to create change

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What self love is not

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

The concepts of “self love” and “self care” get talked about a lot in personal development circles. You might catch yourself thinking that you really should be doing more to take care of yourself, or show yourself love. (Feeling like a failure about your lack of kindness to yourself kind of defeats the point, don’t you think?). At One of many we have a very clear take on self love, and how it fits into our lives, so today I thought I’d break down 3 important distinctions to make when we talk about self love – and what self love is not.

Self love is not selfish

It’s a common assumption that loving yourself is a selfish or narcissistic tendency, when the opposite is true. Being able to accept yourself for who you are – imperfections included – is a really important step in becoming someone who’s able to be generous and forgiving of others.

The fact is, constantly feeling inadequate, or experiencing feelings of shame, doesn’t just affect you. Getting caught up in insecurity takes your energy and focus away from the things you’re here to do – whether it’s making a difference with your career, your family or your community.

Learning how to love yourself might in fact be one of the most generous things you can do.

Self love is not something you have to do alone

A bubble bath, a good book… our stereotypical images of self love often involve us being alone, and for good reason. Time to ourselves is a precious commodity in this hyper-connected world.

But learning to love yourself can be something that’s far easier to do in a group of likeminded others – people who can really appreciate your special qualities, and reflect them back to you.

On our retreats, and in the training we lead for coaches, many women experience for the first time what it’s like to be seen and truly appreciated. Even within the lively community of our Facebook Group it’s remarkable how much lifting up there is of one another; how much appreciation for all the hundreds of tiny unseen acts of courage we show in our daily lives.

If you’ve been trying to find a way to love yourself in isolation, maybe it’s time to connect with a safe community of women who can help show you what you’re missing – the things others notice that you might never have stopped to appreciate.

Self love is not a luxury

When you need comfort, reassurance, or just some time to rest up after a setback or a blow to your confidence, it’s really important to be aware of how you can best take care of yourself. That doesn’t have to mean having a full-on spa experience when things are going well and you’re feeling sky high. (Though that sounds lovely – sign me up!)

It’s also about noticing when you could do with a bit more rest, and choosing to have an early night. It might mean standing up for yourself when it comes to your demanding boss or needy friend, setting clear boundaries, and claiming some space for yourself.

Self love can be choosing to get up and have a glass of water when you need a break; making sure your kitchen’s stocked with nourishing food when you know you’ve got a busy few weeks coming up, or spending time with a friend who lights you up.

The Women’s PowerTypes™ perspective

At One of many, we use the Women’s PowerTypes™ as a tool to help us understand where we need to grow, and as tools to help guide our expansion. We each have a unique “profile” reflecting the PowerTypes we most easily embody, as well as those we find more challenging to step into.

These 5 powerful PowerTypes help us to show up fully as ourselves, whatever the situation, as well as showing us where we might want to focus our attention to see the biggest results when it comes to making change.

Each of the PowerTypes™: Warrioress, Sorceress, Mother, Lover and Queen – contains aspects of self love. Whether it’s honouring our playful nature, trusting in the mystery of the universe, or knowing we have the capacity to make great decisions, loving yourself starts by knowing that you are able to step into your power whatever the circumstances.

The two PowerTypes™ most relevant to self love are Lover and Mother.

When we’re in Mother, we are infinitely empathetic and compassionate. At our best, these qualities allow us to nurture ourselves as we do everyone else in our orbit. But when this aspect of our personalities is over-expressed, we can tip into the martyr, neglecting our own wellbeing to support others.

This is where the PowerTypes of the Lover comes in. Sensual and pleasure-seeking, she reminds us to honour our physical needs and delight in the world of the senses.

To find out more about the PowerTypes™, download our free guide to the Women’s PowerTypes™ – it’s part of Life’s Little Toolkit, our secret weapon of 5 free resources to help you through whatever life throws at you.

Click here to download it now.

And share your take on self love in the comments – how do you take good care of yourself in your day to day, and what tips would you give any woman who’s finding it a challenge?

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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(Guest Post) Why is sales so difficult when you care?

By

Catherine Watkin
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Catherine Watkin

Mentor, minimalist, lover of life

Catherine Watkin works with heart-centred business owners like you, who want a great business but don’t want to compromise their integrity.
She helps you get more clients saying "Yes Please!" in a way that feels authentic, comfortable and is always in alignment with your values.
Catherine believes in sales and marketing that comes from service not selfishness, from caring not coercion, and from love instead of lack.
Catherine Watkin
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Latest posts by Catherine Watkin (see all)

Whether you’re in business selling a service or product, are raising money for a cause close to your heart, or just want to sell a vision of a new way of relating to your partner, there’s going to be times when the ability to guide and influence others is an important tool in your toolkit.   But if you are like most of the clients I work with then it may be that you struggle with this whole idea of “sales”, and in particular the idea of needing to “manipulate” other people to your way of thinking.

And there’s a good reason for that. If you’re a member of the One of many™ Community then chances are the reason you are “selling” is because you feel called to make a difference to others, or to the wider world, through the work that you do or the impact you want to make.

In other words: You care

Yet the very fact of having this caring nature can itself be a block to you getting that message out confidently enough to make the difference you know you’re here to make.

For the rest of this article I’m going to refer to small business owners and their clients because this is the group of people I know best, and who I spend my life serving.   But it can apply to anything you’re selling – whether that’s a product, a service, a business opportunity, an idea or a vision.

And the question I’m asking today is:

So why is sales so darned difficult when you care?

Because after all, when we really care about our clients and want the best for them then of course we do want them to make that decision to work with us because if they don’t we can’t help them make the change they so badly want – and we don’t get to make our difference in the world.

But the very fact that we do care so much makes sales so much more difficult than it could be.

After all, it’s not just about learning a structure.

If it was as easy as the “how to” I wouldn’t even have a business!   My clients would have all gone and got themselves some good, old-fashioned style sales training a long time ago and be off merrily “closing sales”, “handling objections” and filling up their diaries – long before they even come across me.

Instead it’s about all the other “stuff”

  • A deep-seated suspicion that sales is inherently manipulative, and that’s the last thing you want to do to people you care about.
  • Feeling drawn to want to help people anyway – not just because you’ve taken their money off them.
  • Feeling conflicted about whether it’s even OK to charge money for helping people – doesn’t that make you a “bad” person?
  • Fear of coming across as pushy because you only want what’s best for people and you’d be mortified if anyone thought you were just out for your own gain.
  • Not valuing your work enough to charge what you are worth or have confident conversations to invite people to work with you – because if you don’t believe in it yourself it’s hard to sell it with integrity and integrity is important to you.

And I could go on ….

But allowing all this stuff to get in the way means that you are not making a difference to as many people as you could.   This isn’t good for your business, and it’s definitely not good for your clients.

So here’s what you can do to make the process of sales feel more authentic and in alignment with your caring intentions.

  1. Shift your focus on to the client
    To help you come at sales from a place of caring one of the most valuable things you can do is get absolutely crystal clear about your “ideal client”. Understand his or her pain, problems, desires, fears and emotions in as much detail as you can.   When you do this you can’t help form an emotional connection to them.   This means you come to your sales conversations with a fierce desire to help the client, and a focus on what’s best for them (rather than what’s in it for you).   When this happens something shifts and the sales process starts to feel like another way that you serve the client, rather than the uncomfortable bit you’ve somehow got to get through before the real work can begin.
  2. Connect with the value
    Feeling under pressure to sell is particularly difficult if deep down you are not convinced of the value of the thing you are offering. Your inner voices might whisper “Is it really worth this much?”, “What if I can’t guarantee a result?”, “Am I really good enough to be doing this?” The truth is that if you don’t 100% believe in what you’re offering then you can’t sell it with conviction or integrity.  So it’s important to do the work to connect to your value. This might be keeping a special journal where you record your success stories. Maybe even working for free with a couple of people to prove to yourself that you really are great at this (and there’s nothing wrong with this – it’s how I got started).
  3. Communicate that value
    It’s possible to be absolutely convinced about the amazing transformation you can help your clients to achieve and know that this work is worth every penny of your fees.   Yet somehow fail to communicate that to your potential client. When you struggle to articulate this difference then it’s too easy to fall back on trying to cajole, convince and push people to see what you are seeing. And this feels uncomfortable for everyone. It’s really worth taking some time out to work on communicating the value of what you offer in a way that your client will hear loud and clear and really “get it”. When that happens there’s no need to manipulate – instead you’ll hear an excited “yes please!”
  4. Follow a structure.
    Without a clear structure it’s very hard to take the potential client on a conversational journey that ends with a clear decision to say yes to working with you.   Anything else tends to turn into a meandering conversation without a clear focus – great for hanging out with friends, not so great when you care about making a difference to others.   A structure is what gives you the confidence to be authentic, and to blend in your intuition and compassion. After all it’s not enough that you care about the client – they have to feel that you care.   If you want to get started having authentic sales conversations you can take my free short video training “The 7 Steps to Yes!” here.

Finally, here are some ideas to get you started having sales conversations that feel more authentic and comfortable – even when you care:

  • Schedule some research calls with people who fit your client profile and interview them to help you better understand the problems and challenges that they are facing
  • Buy a beautiful notebook and start using it to capture all the evidence that you really are brilliant at what you do – testimonials, success stories, passing comments
  • Write a list of the 10 ways that someone’s life could change for the better as a result of working with you
  • Reach out to follow up with a potential client to give them a gentle nudge to go ahead and work with you – because you care
  • Learn a structure so that you can start to feel a greater sense control around your sales conversations.   You can get started with my free video training “The 7 Steps to Yes!” .

Catherine Watkin works with heart-centred business owners like you, who want a great business but don’t want to compromise their integrity. She helps you get more clients saying “Yes Please!” in a way that feels authentic, comfortable and is always in alignment with your values. Catherine believes in sales and marketing that comes from service not selfishness, from caring not coercion, and from love instead of lack.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Grass-roots women who inspire – Karen’s Story

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Karen’s Story – Finding Purpose and Fulfillment

‘You have so much potential, follow your dreams and create the life you want!’

This had been said to me many times but for some reason it never meant anything. Probably because I never felt I had any clarity and certainly no direction or focus for my life. Depression had taken residence and my life had come to a grinding halt.

This was how I was feeling. I was unemployed and lacking any clarity, direction or focus. I didn’t know who I was, what I wanted to do or what I stood for. I wasn’t despondent but I certainly wasn’t moving and I felt like an octopus with tentacles out feeling for opportunities but grappling around in the dark to no avail.

I had read a lot about ‘creating your lifestyle’ but for me my need was more fundamental than that, more basic. I simply wanted to find a life. I wanted to experience more meaning in my life and a deeper sense of fulfilment.

I’d been studying women’s issues for a few years and I had a really strong sense that international women’s day was important and should be honoured. If you don’t know, International Women’s Day (IWD) is celebrated on March 8th and dates back over 100 years, since the time of the Suffragette’s. It’s a global day celebrating the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women and also marks a call to action for accelerating gender parity (the measurement of gender equality).

The global movement encourages women to celebrate the day locally. After attending my second International Women’s Day event in Swindon I couldn’t help but feel a little bit disappointed. It just didn’t have the energy that I thought it could have.

‘What was it really about? What was the point of us all coming together?’ I asked myself.

There was a deep sense within me that this was a truly important day and that women’s progression over the years should be celebrated and honoured but the gathering just felt a bit off.

I happened to find myself in conversation with a group of women, one of whom was the main organiser. Me and my big mouth, I couldn’t help but ask

“What do you want to do this for?”

My question was met with stunned silence and it gradually became obvious that the organisers had other motives in mind. I left the gathering without giving it a second thought but the next year I got approached to organise it. I said no because I didn’t feel equipped to do it.

Shortly afterwards I was at a One of many event talking with Jo Martin (the founder) about what I might do for my project. This was part of the Lead the Change Program I was doing with her.

I had the awareness that I wasn’t in tune with what I wanted to do but I was terrified of letting myself go.

“What would you like to do?” She asked me.

“I don’t know,” I shrugged, “I think I’d quite like to run a not for profit that transformed the lives of women and girls. Something that created more equality.”

“Actually,” I continued, “I’ve been asked to organise the next International Women’s Day in Swindon but I said no.”

Jo gave me a quizzical look, smiled and said “Why don’t you do it. Do it for fun.”

Do it for fun!

On returning to Swindon I set about organising the event. With only 6 weeks until the day we were on a super tight timescale. I had been learning about the natural gifts and power of women with Jo and I wanted to use my feminine energy to create this event. I have to confess though, I didn’t do very well with that. Instead I used every ounce of Superwoman to meet the deadlines and make the day a success. I kept reminding myself that this was fun but to be honest sometimes I was telling myself this through gritted teeth.

The trouble is Superwoman, the one who is spinning all plates, taking responsibility for everything, doing the doing and all the organising, driving and pushing to make things happen was not me in my feminine. Instead it was me drawing on my masculine energy and true to pattern I ended up burned out.

The event was a great success, however, with over 600 women joining us but I was left exhausted. I had wanted to learn about feminine energy and my natural gifts as a woman. But I had done it all with masculine energy. I was trying to put what I was learning into practice but I was instead living out old habits.

In 2016 I decided to do it differently. I’d been on a wonderful year of personal growth and decided I would bring everything I’d learned, all my One of many language, tools and techniques.

A lightbulb moment

In the past I have always been very literal, with a mind-set of ‘Tell me what to do and I’ll do it.’ But thanks to being part of the One of many community I had a huge light bulb moment that completely changed the way I approached life.

I love photography and what makes me most passionate about it is I just want people to feel really good about themselves. I felt honoured to be invited to photograph our Lead the Change group and through them all simply allowing me to be myself, it suddenly dawned on me that I could shape the way my world looked. Or more specifically I could shape IWD Swindon into what I saw it could be.

I feel truly blessed to be part of an incredible support network like this. I couldn’t have done what I’ve done without these amazing women. They were there for every wobble that I had and kept me buoyant.

We doubled our numbers in 2016

I decided that in 2016 I was going to learn to collaborate. I created a community group to run the event which consisted of 3 of us and a brand for us to become known for.

The 2016 gathering was a huge success with over 1200 women joining with us on that day. Our brand values of Inspire, Educate and Elevate really seemed to capture women’s hearts and speak to them. Personally, I focused on learning to communicate well. I set about learning about different personality types and the sort of language they used so that I could understand and communicate more clearly with my team and our supporters.

Our 2017 event was also a great success and IWD Swindon continues to go from strength to strength. I’ve learned about managing projects as we expand and how to truly empower others to be in their flow.

I’ve had to dig deep but I can honestly say I wouldn’t change a thing. Each year brings new learnings and new growth. This year I’ve stepped into Leadership. Previously I’d been denying my own leadership skills. The One of Many mission is to inspire 1 million grass roots women leaders, women who are making a difference in their locality. I feel proud and privileged to be one of those women.

I would have shied away from calling myself a leader in the past but it was somewhere inside me, lurking away just waiting to be invited out to play. This year I asked myself…

What sort of leader am I? And who am I leading?

This was another lightbulb moment for me as I realised that I hold a strong vision for IWD Swindon and holding that vision takes a lot. Holding the vision also means knowing where everyone else is at. Are we all moving in the same direction?

The One of many Women’s PowerTypes have helped me grow enormously. Learning to embody the power of The Queen has made a huge difference for me. I recall a group exercise back in 2015 practicing harnessing the energy of The Queen, I felt so uncomfortable and I couldn’t even lift my head to look up. This was a powerless place to be and I certainly could not do what I’m doing today without being able to access this part of myself.

As the one with the vision I have to keep an eye on the goal and deal with any problems that arise such as partners pulling out. It is truly wonderful to deal with these things with dignity and grace, instead of freaking out (which may have happened in the past). Now I simply see the vision then reassess and realign.

True leadership comes from being. As I am being more of the grass roots leader that I am, I witness the wonderful positive effect it has as it ripples out to others and they become empowered into their natural leadership. I love watching Helen (one of our team) blossom into her grass roots leadership. She is married to a Japanese man and is going to a global women’s summit in Japan soon.

This year I built a team of 8 people and they are all leaders in their own right. I also challenged myself to put in a grant application with the Arts Council and it was successful. We received £14.5K as well as funding from some local businesses.

It’s not in isolation that we will change the world. It’s through collaboration, community and a greater mission.

This year a film maker made a film of our 2017 event. I welled up when I saw the footage. It enabled me to actually see what it was I was trying to achieve. And it’s allowed me to really understand myself.

I’ve been battling between what’s my identity. Am I a photographer, a curator, a community activist, an organiser of events.

I realised that for now I am the face of IWD Swindon and the work we do with that is part of my purpose.

I want for all women to participate in this event in their locality. When I say all women I don’t mean every person in every house. What I mean is all backgrounds, all classes, all ethnicities. So that there is representation from all women on the day. I also want us to be thinking about girls and what they need to flourish, as well as the parents of girls. This is important so that we can break these cycles of inequality that otherwise just keep on going.

Amazing people show up all the time to help with our mission. They are all experts in what they do but feel that they want to be more on purpose than on profit.

One highly talented lady approached me recently and said she really wanted to help community groups do their thing. I said to her that there were many community groups at IWD Swindon and she should reach out to them and get involved.

Yes she replied… I am. I’m choosing IWD Swindon. You’re the group I’d love to work with. Sometimes I feel like I’m a little bit slow to catch up with how miraculous this is.

This journey has been an amazing ride, it’s bought me things that I didn’t even know I was missing.

I’m so grateful to have a better sense of myself, my purpose and the type of life I want to lead. I wish you fun on your journey!

While developing her leadership skills on her Project, Karen used her new-found confidence and direction to simultaneously launch her own business as a photographer. She is now regularly booked and doing what she loves for work, as well as making a huge community impact for International Women’s Day. Well done Karen!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

In my 14 years of mentoring and coaching business owners, executives and entrepreneurs there is one question that comes up time and again.

From start up to multi-million dollar business, in times of transition the most common questions is …

Should I start my own business or get a job?

I’ve created a free report to help you answer this question. So if you feel a greater purpose calling you but don’t know where to start this free report can help you gain clarity on the right business vehicle for you.

Download your report here

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Be the Woman You Were Born to Be

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

You want to make a difference.
You want to be valued.
You want to leave a legacy.
You want to show your children that life can be amazing.

BUT…

You’re feeling lost and don’t know which direction to take.

Do you have this nagging sense that there is something more you should be doing with your life? If you do you’re far from alone.

Life is urging us as women towards greater things.

You know there is more of you to be expressed. You feel that nagging tension inside. A subtle knowing that there is something more that you should do and share. You know that there is more to life. But you don’t know which direction to take or where to start.

Phew! Frustrating isn’t it. But take a deep breath and relax. I hear you sister and you’re in the right place. I’m going to share 4 easy things that you can do to get yourself inspired and moving.

Life’s too short to waste another minute on something that isn’t making your heart sing. And the good news is the time of work being a soul destroying chore that leaves you feeling empty and undervalued at the end of the day is a thing of the past.

We’re in a brand new time where your work becomes far more than an exchange of time for money. We’re in a time where your work can be a hugely rewarding experience. Everything changes when you love your career. Sounds dramatic but it’s true. Imagine it…it’s more than work, more than a career even, it’s your life’s mission.

Everyone has been made for some particular work, and the desire
for that work has been put in every heart. Rumi

If you have that nagging feeling that you’re supposed to do something bigger, something bolder, something greater with your life then read on because I’m going to share with you how you can escape the frustration and start making it happen.

Firstly get grateful for that inner nagging tension.

I know it’s uncomfortable and can sometimes make you feel like you’re going insane. Your mind is in a perpetual whirr frantically searching for what you should do. But fret no longer. Instead rest assured that this inner knowing comes to us all in different ways when we’re expanding into greater possibilities. It’s exciting, a true gift.

I know it can leave you feeling completely lost and wondering ‘What am I supposed to do?’ Annoying isn’t it. I don’t know about you but I’m impatient, so waiting for things to unravel can be super challenging. What I’ve discovered though is this inner tension is trying to guide me. And it’s trying to guide you to.

Once you encounter it, it can never be put back in its box. You can try but it will still be there in the background, it’s a persistent little blighter. It might appear to go quiet for a little while but then suddenly wham it’s back again. It just doesn’t go away.

You see for women meaning is everything, without it our motivation evaporates. Yet for many women finding purpose is the biggest challenge that they face when it comes to career and work. It’s very easy to look out at the world we live in and become disillusioned. Many women fritter their lives away in meaningless or mediocre work that drains them.

Some women are fortunate enough to find something meaningful. But they make compromises on how much they are willing to make, so struggle to make ends meet and become drained.

Imagine waking without an alarm and feeling a burst of joy that it’s a brand new day. The sheets are soft on your skin and you feel refreshed and energised. Brilliant ideas are popping into your head and you get up to write them down. You love this feeling of knowing you are in exactly the right place at the right time. Doing something you absolutely love, making a positive difference to others and being generously financially rewarded in the process.

It’s a BIG difference to meeting the new day with a groan and groping for the alarm to hit the snooze button.

Once you know what your purpose is and you start living it, everything changes. Once you’re truly on purpose that’s when miracles start to become a regular feature in your life.

Don’t fall into the common trap

Many people are waiting for that blaze of light. That mind-blowing clarity where they see a vision for their purpose and mission in techno-colour. That life altering never to be forgotten moment when they know beyond a shadow of a doubt exactly what they are supposed to do with their life.

Sounds great doesn’t it but don’t wait for it. Yes it happens to the occasional person but it’s not usual. It’s a bit like your friends at school who knew exactly what they wanted to do when they grew up. Few and far between right? I think I had one friend like that.

I know that my journey to leading One of Many, this mission to inspire 1 million grass-roots women leaders, has been a journey of unravelling. As I have put one foot in front of the other this mission has gradually revealed itself. And it’s the same for you. You just need to start putting one foot in front of the other.

We are living in a truly exciting and unique time on the planet. In our new paradigm world, there has never has been a greater time for crafting a truly unique career path that harnesses your greatest gifts and provides the income you need to live a truly fulfilled life.

Our belief is when your life’s work is a true expression of your authentic self, work is a true joy.

Now is YOUR time.

Perhaps you, like many women, know you have lots more to give but you just haven’t fully embraced it yet.

This is your birth right. It’s not a question of whether you deserve it or whether you’re good enough. Sadly it’s incredibly common for women to be lacking in confidence and unconsciously holding themselves back.

Are you unconsciously saying no?

Secondly get yourself a really nice journal and commit to writing in it every day. Carve out some time for you to connect with your hearts desires. You can’t create or allow yourself to receive your truly juicy life if you are unconsciously saying no to it.

You need to start saying yes to yourself. Yes to all the good things that life has planned for you. Yes to experiencing great joy, satisfaction and fulfillment.

In order for you to escape that nagging tension that’s slowly driving you nuts you need to start opening your mind. Start allowing yourself to hear and receive that inner guidance that’s there for you.

“Do something today that your future self will thank you for.”  Sean Patrick Flanery

A major problems when we feel lost is we do nothing. But this inertia further compounds the problem. Instead you need to start to take some action because taking a step one direction will begin to create some movement in your life.

Be bold right now and make a decision now that you’re going to do something to quiet that inner niggle. You’re going to discover its secrets. You’re too valuable to keep hiding away. Go and buy yourself a really nice journal.

I do love yummy stationery.

You might like to write a little statement to yourself in the front of your lovely new journal…

I am dedicated to discovering my destiny. My meaningful path to success. I open my mind and heart to hear the divine guiding wisdom that is available for me. I commit to creating special time for myself each day where I will allow myself to dream and connect with my hearts desires.

Then sign and date it. Something powerful happens when you write things down.

Why make time for yourself?

“Investing in yourself is the best investment you will ever make. It will not only improve your life, it will improve the lives of all those around you.” Robin S. Sharma

Thirdly don’t go it alone. Women are wired for connection. When we feel connected we flourish and thrive. So come and join our vibrant One of Many community and hang out with a group of supportive, inspiring and courageous women.

Women who you can share your dreams and aspirations with. Women who will cheer you on and hold your hand when you wobble. Wobbles are bound to happen as you open up to the wonder that life has to offer you.

And finally…

Be bold. Start taking some action that comes from the inspiration that you receive.

When I was a medical doctor I realised that we all have a time limit. We live our lives like we don’t but we all do. I asked myself if I knew what mine was would I continue to be a doctor.

I was a great doctor. The nurses and patients loved me. I was smart. I was making a positive difference but…

it wasn’t my difference. Do you know what I mean?

The answer was absolutely no. So that night I made a decision. The decision was to do what felt like me. It was a bit of an aha moment as I realised I wanted to go to drama school. Acting had always been a hobby of mine. I had dreams of being a professional actress but I’d never believed in myself enough to give it a crack.

I got into a great acting school, was loving it and having fun. But I didn’t feel like I was making my difference. That was the time I went to my very first personal development seminar. As I saw the guy on the stage telling stories and facilitating change I thought that’s it. That’s what I want to do. I made a committed decision and I ploughed everything I had into developing myself to be a life coach. I did this despite the little negative voices in my head. “You can’t do that. You’re too young. Who is going to pay you?” You know the ones.

I developed a fairly successful life coaching business by just doing what my mentor told me. This led to me working for a coaching business and travelling the globe leading training seminars of up to 3000 people at a time. But I got burned out.

After recuperating I launched a speaker business and took it to 7 figures in 12 months but again got burned out.

When my son James was born I was breast feeding him in a darkened room. He was so precious and that quote from the Dalai Lama popped into my head. “The world will be saved by the western women.” I realised he was talking about me. I had to do something to make the world a better place for my son. The world would not be changed by political women leaders but by all women. By me and my sister. By you.

This was a huge wakeup call for me and that’s when One of many™ was born. I knew I had to do something for women.

I share because I want you to see that discovering your destiny in an on-going unfolding. It’s only when you’ve finished that you will be able to connect the dots. You can’t connect them in the beginning.

Here’s a reminder of those 4 easy steps…

  1. Get grateful for that inner nagging
  2. Make time to write in your journal daily
  3. Connect with other supportive women
  4. Be bold and follow your inspired action

I’d love to know what you’re inspired to do. Leave a comment and let us know.

If you’re would love to delve deeper to find the key to unlocking your true career fulfilment our BeFulfilled event is for you.

BeFulfilled™ Your Life’s Work

A two-day retreat to uncover your greatest contribution, and find clarity in your career and finances.

This workshop is designed expressly to help you discover and define your inherent value, to express it, and be rewarded for it.

Book a call with Maria our lovely customer services manager to see if it’s a fit for you.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

 

 

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(Podcast) How to create the support you need

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

The instinctive response of the feminine energy is to collaborate and band together. We believe this means as a woman you can’t thrive unless you’re connected to others. And that as women we achieve our individual success with and through others.

Perhaps you, like many women, feel called to make a positive difference in the world. If you do then you’re going to achieve your greatest difference by having the right support network in place.

Let’s just get clear, this is not about networking – this is about the right people, in the right place, at the right time who can support you to thrive.

Today you get a sneak peek into some of the content from our BeFulfilled event because in order to make your difference in the world you need a strong leadership platform on which to stand. Discover the secrets to creating yours through Conscious Network Design in this Soft PowerCast (podcasts for women).

You’ll discover

  • The 4 key pillars to build to create your strong platform
  • The importance of your emergency pillar and how to foster and nurture so it’s there when you need it
  • How to bring sane consciousness to who you have and who you don’t have in your network
  • How to begin to consciously activate the elements you don’t have

As women we have a tendency to believe we need to do everything ourselves and therefore often have difficulty accepting help and support.

In this Soft PowerCast you’ll learn how to:

  • Bring your focus to some key areas and give you practical solutions on how to:
  • Be clear on what you’re great at, and don’t be afraid to tell other people
  • Look for what you can give first
  • Be open to receiving when help is offered- sometimes even when you don’t NEED it.

Listen to the podcast here

 

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

Is it time for you to BeFulfilled?

For many women their greatest challenge in work is finding their purpose. Without a sense of meaning, our motivation evaporates. Still more of us find something meaningful, but because of our love, we make compromises on how much we are willing to make, so end up with an expensive hobby rather than a business.

If you know you have way more to give and would love to unlock your career potential then our BeFulfilled event is for you. It’s a powerful 2-days where you will identify your true heartfelt vocation. You will leave having identified work that is an expression of who you are, and with a plan to bring that into its full, financial fruition.

“I have been going crazy for a long time trying to work this stuff out for myself. Thank you so much for sharing and showing me the way. Thank you xx” – Kay Daze

“As a marketing consultant I have always made others visible and hidden behind the brand. I knew that I needed to be visible with my new brand ‘Business Butterfly’ as a marketing trainer and mentor. As a result of BeFulfilled I now have clarity and the confidence to step into my light and transform the invisible to the visible.” – Shari Thompson

We’re here to support you to blossom and thrive in life. If you’d love to experience greater fulfilment in your life, give yourself some support right now and have a chat with Maria.

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How to change the world without sacrificing your happiness

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

I’m sure you’ve come across or known at least one person who had great intentions to change the world for the better … but they were so caught up in their principles that they came across as off-putting.

And as someone who also wants to change the world, even if you’d never admit it, it kind of makes you think,

“I want to change the world … but I don’t want to become someone like that!”

Let’s get this clear right from the start: you do not have to become a raging fanatic to change the world. (In fact, you probably won’t get very far if you do).

But you won’t be “normal”.

What’s normal anyway?

Larry Smith, an economist, has a fantastic TED talk in which he tells an auditorium of students why they will fail to have a great career. There are lots of reasons, but a large part of it comes down to choosing to be “normal”.

“Normal” is to work your job, take your wage, love your family, enjoying a hobby or two, and do pretty much nothing else. And if you’re reading this blog and thinking about changing the world, I can guess that “normal” isn’t enough for you.

But equally, you don’t have to take a vow of poverty, become obsessive, or go around badgering everyone who isn’t working as hard as you to change the world.

It is completely possible to change the world and live a good, happy life yourself.

I think a lot of us have been taught this idea that if we really want to change the world, we need to make a huge sacrifice, do something we “should” do but actually really hate, or that we have to become consumed by it, to the exclusion of living the rest of our lives.

Don’t get me wrong — if you want to pack up, move across the world, and work for a charity then by all means do it! That’s fantastic if that’s what your calling is. But don’t feel like you can’t make an impact on the world if you don’t do that.

My two biggest pieces of advice for doing this:

1. Define your realm

OK, so what do I mean by this? By defining your realm, I mean choosing the areas that you want to make a difference in. This is key, because if you try to make an impact on everything, you’re not going to make much of an impact on anything.

Deliberately limiting your realm also keeps you from becoming burned out. I know this can be hard for a lot of people (especially women, who tend to feel like we want to take care of everything), but you’ve got to preserve your energy so that you can make the most impact on those areas you do choose to work in.

2. Focus your energy on your actions, not others.

It’s also critical that you focus your energy on yourself first! By this, I mean that you’ve got to take care of yourself (because after all, you can’t help anyone if you don’t have the energy, money, or time to live). Ultimately, the only person’s actions that you can change are your own.

So start by getting your little energy ecosystem sustainable.  Are you nurturing and nourishing yourself, as you pour your energy into your businesses or causes?

If you are super passionate but find yourself struggling with your energy levels and feeling over stretched then join me for this webinar which will show you how to find an additional 5 hours a week (minimum!) so you can do what you feel called to do.

The second element of this piece is how you go about your “world-changing”.

A lot of people tend to focus on getting other people to change, and when that doesn’t happen the way they hope it would, they either get resentful, or they get aggressive.  That’s where you get the people who go around making other people feel guilty or badgering them about their beliefs — which often leads to the exact opposite result they were hoping for!

It’s about living knowing that every tiny action you take, or inspire, could be the one that makes THE difference… and simultaneously laughing at yourself for thinking anything tiny little you could do could make ANY difference.  It’s about big ambitions, and taking yourself and others lightly.

So focus on yourself and your actions first, and set an example that’s so attractive that people want to step up.

And now for the fun bit: since you’re reading this post, it’s a good bet that you actually do want to change the world. So tell me, what are you going to do? Let’s share and support each other in the comments below!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Christmas – Don’t miss the magic!

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)


Being an Australian living in the northern hemisphere, I find that this year I am really present to the sense that Christmas makes. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a wonderful time of year in Australia as well, because it’s summer with barbecues and lots of fun things to do. But there is something unique and special which makes sense of so many of the traditions when you are in the northern hemisphere.

It seems like it has become almost a given that this time of year just before Christmas everything gets crazier and crazier and busier and busier. There is the shopping and all the food to be prepared. Getting the turkey, stuffing the turkey, going to the pub with your mates, organising presents, buying presents, visiting family and friends, going to church and then getting home. Getting that last bit of work done before the office closes, all of that kind of stuff, the list goes on.

The trouble is when we do that we end up missing the magic, which is sad because this is a truly magical time of year. Here in the northern hemisphere we are in the middle of winter and it’s time for the PowerType of the Sorceress, that part of you that brings a little bit of fairy dust and is tuned into the mysteries.

The Winter Solstice is on 21 December, this is a really special time because it’s the shortest day, which by default means it’s the longest night. It’s the longest period of darkness that we have in the calendar in the year. Many of us we get freaked out by darkness but actually there is a great gift here.

Discover that gift!

Here in the northern hemisphere (I’ll talk about the southern hemisphere in just a moment) we’re in Winter. If we could take away everything that the culture demands of us, everything that our busy lives demand of us and actually tune into our energy at this time of year we will discover that our energy wants to come in. It wants to be inward focusing and reflective. Given the current fast pace of life it’s all too easy to miss this and unless we tune into it we will overlook it. We are all animals after all and we do respond to the seasons, whether we are aware of it or not.

One of the risks we run at this time of year is skidding through this amazingly magical moment without acknowledging it or noticing. The beauty of the longest night is that every day after this the days get a little longer and the light returns. I find it fascinating to think back many hundreds of years ago when perhaps our ancestors weren’t as confident that the spring was going to come as we are these days. When it was only sometime after the winter solstice that the days would start to lengthen and they would start to notice it. And they would celebrate. This is why we bring Christmas trees into the house at this time of year and wrap them in lights. And why we decorate our house with lights because at this time of year we want to celebrate the return of the light.

Whether that’s the Christian light of Jesus, Hanukkah, Pagan etc, it doesn’t matter what your tradition is or even if you don’t have any spiritual beliefs, you can tune into nature and you can get a sense that there is something fabulous and magical going on just now.

What don’t you want to have in your life anymore?

One of the things that I highly recommend is giving yourself permission, specifically in this week, to just be really present during these darkest days. Reflect on 2016 and anything that you don’t want to have in your life anymore. Anything that you don’t want to take into 2017 just become present to it and consciously let it go. Chose to let it go into the darkness. And then get excited that as the energy and the light start to return you will have all of the energy that you want and need to be able to fulfil on your goals and ambitions for 2017.

Know if you’re on the flip side of the world, in the southern hemisphere, where I usually spend my Christmases it does have a different flavour. It is summertime at this time of year and we are at the opposite end of the spectrum with the longest day. It’s such a delicious time of being with friends and people. So if that’s where you are make sure you are present to that, and that you revel in every drop of energy that you bring to that. Be present in those connections. Again it’s really easy in the summer celebration of Christmas to get wrapped up in it all and not be present to the gift that is there of being with people and being expressed which is what your energy wants to be doing in the summertime.

Wherever you are in the world simply tune into what it means for you and don’t let this week sweep by. There may be lots of things you want to get on with, and maybe a sense that you’re going to enjoy the break to catch up on the things you’re behind with but one of the first things that I really deeply hope you catch up with is your connection to you.

This is something that I am going to be really focusing on over this period, really taking notice of myself and my family. Taking notice of each other and what it is that we want to leave behind in 2016.

Merry Christmas and may 2017 be an exceptionally rewarding, fulfilling and successful one for you.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

Get started with 7 Rituals for Calming the Daily Chaos so you’re in a position to handle the next mini-catastrophe coming your way, and take it all in your stride.

After all, shit happens no matter how intelligent or important we are. It’s how we handle it that determines out impact.

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Instinct or intuition… can you tell the difference?

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

If you’d love to enhance your ability to make the right decisions for your path in life then you’re going to love today’s blog. We’re going to look at where intuition comes from, what it is, what it’s not and how to enhance it.

Intuition is one of our gifts as women. I don’t think it’s exclusively the domain of women but we certainly have natural strengths and talents in this area and I believe the more we step into it the more fruitful, powerful and effective we can become.

Here at One of many™ we have a slightly different definition for intuition than the dictionary. We choose to distinguish between instinct and intuition because we believe it gives us access to a more profound wisdom and our ability to use our faculties as women.

The majority of dictionary definitions describe it as; The ability to understand something instinctively without the need for conscious reasoning. So they collapse instinct into the definition of intuition. Our experience at One of many is that our intuition comes from a different place to our instinct, let me tell you why.

Instinct for me is the body, it’s our heightened senses, the animalistic part of our nature. Our instincts can tell us when something is wrong, so it’s more of a survival drive and is often linked to fear.

However, if you are intuiting something, you can’t do it from a place of fear. You can’t intuit from anything less than a very open place. Intuition for us comes from source, from our connection to all that there is. It’s a very open state and deep knowing, which is usually accompanied by a real sense of okay-ness.

This definition is important because it helps us to utilise our intuition better. One of the most challenging things for us to do is to separate true intuition (which I believe is great for messaging as to whether we are on purpose for our destiny) from wishful thinking (which is what we hope will happen) or projection (which is where we interpret ideas or images through the lens of our own experiences or what’s happened to us in the past).

You want to be able to distinguish wishful thinking, projection and instinct from intuition so that you can actually start to use intuition as a real faculty.

Your higher self knows things that you cannot even conceive of and in those momentary flashes of insight, which we call intuition we can shape whole new directions for our future. It’s such a profound state.

What it’s not!

Let’s look first at wishful thinking. I remember when I was looking for an intimate partner I’d meet someone and think I had an intuition that this was the one. He ticked all the right boxes but then I’d be disappointed when it didn’t go anywhere. What I realised was this was a deep wishful thinking for a lifelong desire to be partnered with somebody which is easy to mistakenly misinterpret as intuition. It was never accompanied by a deep sense of knowing and was more of a frantic thing.

Whereas my experience of intuition is it is actually a very calm place. Not an agitated place, and wishful thinking can sometimes be an agitated place.

Now let’s look at projection. Projection is where we think our intuition is telling us something but we are actually projecting our past experiences onto a situation. I remember working with a lady who was convinced that her intuition was telling her that her husband was going to cheat on her. When he did she was not surprised but when we looked at it what we could see was because she was so convinced it had really altered her behaviour. And because she was behaving jealously and weirdly towards him the intimacy wasn’t there and so no surprises when it did go awry. I’m not saying that it’s right, but it is understandable. This is projection.

And finally your instinct, your animal body telling you something. Often it’s input from a survival standpoint. I remember once being London in a not so nice area and we were out for a walk when we turned into a street and I just stopped and said “We can’t go down here. It just doesn’t feel right.” It felt very fearful. This is instinct. And I will never know whether that was a right or wrong choice. But my instinct told me and so I listened.

Why you need to know the difference.

The problem is instinct, wishful thinking and projection are not helping to guide us towards our destiny. They are either keeping us safe or deluding us. So the only way for us to really be able to use this great tool of intuition is for us to be able to distinguish what it is.

How do you tell the difference?

All of the women who I have spoken to describe intuition as coming with a real sense of calm, openness, knowingness, joy and a sense of connection. There is no doubt, no questioning of it, simply real clarity.

I’m always a little bit wary of intuition if it comes with excitement because it could be a little bit of instinct in there. It is a heightened sense, with no fear, concern or worry around it.

There are many great stories about the power of intuition. It’s said that Einstein had clear intuition around his theory of relativity. And the great scientist James Watson who discovered DNA and the intertwined helix had a symbolic dream of two intertwined snakes.

Each of us has a different way that we relate with intuition. Some people have intuitive seeing; they might see a vision of something or get a picture. Some people are more clairaudient, they hear things; maybe voices or people come and tell them things in dreams.

Dreams and meditation are those times when your intuition can speak to you most strongly. So for that reason they’re the best places to start working on developing your intuition.

I’ve got a really simple 4 step process for helping to develop your intuition.

Step 1 – Get in flow.

There are many different strategies you can use to get in flow. One of the tools I really rely on is the morning journaling that I do. I write 3 pages of A4 each morning, it’s a general brain dump and works wonders. I also love going on soft play dates, these are quiet moments alone with myself. I get a lot of downloads and intuition at those times.

Step 2 – Really listen.

I say listen and that sounds like it’s auditory but what I mean is being really aware and open for the messages. Be tuned in and work through all of your senses. A good acronym to help you remember is VAKOG –visual, auditory, kinaesthetic, olfactory and gustatory.

Slowing down is key to you tuning into your wisdom. It’s really important to develop meditation techniques or whatever works for you to harness the ability to listen with every faculty of your being.

Step 3 – Ask for more.

Every time it happens be grateful for it and ask for more. This is thinking and thanking. At the end of every day if I’ve had an intuitive insight into something I make sure I stop and take time to express deep gratitude for intuition and the solution to my problem or whatever it is.

Step 4 – Get really familiar with your intuition.

Every time something happens take a moment to reflect and really look at whether it is your projection, wishful thinking, instinct or actually your intuition at work because the more familiar become with it the more it will happen in your life. If you slow down and spend time with it, your body will tell you.

Ask yourself…

  • Is it associated with an open state, feeling of connection and calm or not?
  • Is this wishful thinking?
  • Am I projecting or is this an instinctive thing?
  • Is it an image or sensation from my past?
  • Have I seen this somewhere in a book or on TV?
  • Does it have anything to do with my fears or worries?
  • How much do I wish that this was the case?

Remember if any of those things are triggered then it might not be intuition. If you feel conflicted at all as to which it is, then don’t act on it. Simply don’t do anything and the universe will give it to you again if you remain aware. She’ll keep tapping you on the shoulder until you step into it. So if you’re not sure where it’s coming from then it’s best to do nothing and ask for further clarity.

What things do you do to get in flow? Be sure to let me know by leaving a comment below.

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The Myth of I’m Too Busy

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

There is no doubt in my mind that Busy-Ness has reached epidemic proportions.  For most of us “I’m Busy” has become a badge of honour- undeniably stating to the world “I AM IN DEMAND, I AM VALUABLE”.

“Isn’t it obvious?” we think we are proving to ourselves and the world… “Everyone wants a piece of me, I don’t have time to scratch myself, I must be valuable right?”

But you don’t have to scratch far below the surface to see this is absolutely flawed thinking. Surely our value is independent of how much we DO.  My One of Many Collaborator and Head of Coaching, Annie Stoker puts it this way: “Every life gets a value of 1.  Otherwise how do you determine who has more value?  The rich people have more value than poor?  Healthy more than sick? Beautiful more than plain?”  Of course not! We are all equally valuable. We just are.

Busy-ness does not make us more valuable than if we’re cool calm and collected. (Tweet this!)

But it does do one thing very well…

Our busy-ness is killing us.

Which is why we need to start un-picking some of the little lies we tell ourself that keep us busy.  Because otherwise we’ll never get off the Busy Roundabout.

The truth of I’m Too Busy.

If you’ve heard yourself recently telling someone that you can’t because you’re too busy, you’ll know about this…

“Can you meet me for a coffee this weekend to plan Mum’s party?” Your sister asks, hopefully.

“I can’t, I’m too busy,” you reply with furrowed brow.

Let’s really analyze what’s going on here.

Actually it’s not a priority (eek!)

If someone you loved and were responsible for, your child for example, ended up in the emergency ward unexpectedly… you would never be too busy to go and be there.  It becomes the highest priority.

So perhaps the correct answer when someone asks something of you is “It’s not a priority.”  That’s actually the truth right?

OK- I get it… You don’t win friends going around saying “That’s not a priority.”

So perhaps a minor adjustment is in order.

How to get off the “I’m Too Busy” roundabout.

Avoid saying “I’m too busy” like the plague.  It breeds itself, and we fall into the trap of getting and staying busy because at some level we think it makes us valuable.

Instead say “I’m sorry, I can’t.” Full Stop.  Period. That’s All.

And on the inside say to yourself “That’s not a priority for me.”

What then ensues is an interesting conversation with yourself about whether you WANT coffee with your Sis to plan the party to be a priority or not.  Which is far healthier for your fulfillment than a blanket “I’m Too Busy”.

So what do you think?

Am I quite mad or onto something?

For me this distinction has allowed me to ruthlessly spend my time on things that are important to me, and to identify when my priorities are getting out of whack.

I hope it does the same for you!

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What does it really mean to play your strengths as a woman?

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

What are the first words that come to mind when you think about the feminine? Soft, nurturing … maybe a bit recessive, even weak? And what about when you think about female power? Does your mind immediately go to sports commercials and Superwomen? Seems like a bit of a contradiction, doesn’t it, like you either have to choose between being sweet or being strong.

The truth is, true feminine power is neither one of those things.

Don’t get me wrong: I am 100% for strong women stepping into their power. But not in the way that you might think. See, historically we’ve attempted to level the playing field between men and women in two main ways: by stepping into the Superwoman archetype, and trying to out-muscle the men, or stepping into the sex kitten archetype, and trying to seduce them.

But you’re so much more than that.

There’s nothing wrong with being ambitious or sexy — but the classic expression of both of those things comes from a masculine perspective. It’s fairly obvious with the ball breaking, Superwoman archetype. But the traditional sex kitten stems from that linear, masculine paradigm too. And the truth is, neither one makes particularly good use of the inherent strengths that we have as women.

It’s a matter of biology.

Women and men have vast differences in their biology, particularly when it comes to hormones. Men have a lot of testosterone, which is that “push forward, get it done!” hormone that moderates that aggression, that drive to compete, which is great for working in linear, competitive paradigms. Women on the other hand have about a thirteenth of that testosterone. (It varies a bit throughout your cycle, but that’s about what it is.)

Does this mean that we can’t compete and that we just have to wait at home for the men to take care of us? Absolutely not! But it does mean that if we try to work in exactly the same way as the men around us, we’re going to run out of that testosterone pretty quickly, which leaves us running on cortisol and adrenaline, the stress hormones. Cue frustration, burnout, and all the physical, emotional, and mental problems that come along with them.

Strength from cycles

The great news is that once you realise this, you can start to really step into your power as a woman. Instead of trying to push, push, push your way through using a masculine paradigm, you can find the strength that comes from living and working according to your biological cycles.

As I spoke about last week, we’ve all got cycles of energy, which means that different parts of your day, month, and year are best suited for different things. For instance, those days that you feel really “low energy”? They’re not a waste — in fact, they’re often the best for meditation, connecting with Source, and restoring. When you really start to lean into your own rhythm instead of trying to push through full steam, then you can start to step into your power as a woman.

First steps:

1. Observe. That’s it — just see how your particular rhythms work. What do you feel like at different times of the day, what tasks are you particularly drawn to at different times of the month?

2. As you start to see patterns emerge, try to tailor your activities to different parts of your cycle. If you’re familiar with Embrace or other programmes we’ve done, then try tap into whatever archetype you feel your energy is best suited for at the time. And have fun with this! Remember, you’re not trying to come up with this rigidly regimented schedule; you’re trying to tap into the power of what’s already happening.

3. Care for yourself. If you’re running on empty, there’s no way that you can step into your power. So take care of your needs, and throw some wants in there too — maybe some soft play, a relaxing afternoon, a phone call with a friend; whatever you need to get back to your best.

4. If you want to get deeper into this, then try exploring your archetypes. All of the archetypes have their strengths, but it’s often easier to immediately see the strength in the Queen, for instance, than in the Lover. If you like, try listening to Hymne à la Femme by Vangelis, and see how you can call out your Queenly strength as you move to the music.

OK, let’s try it out now.

Take 30 seconds to breathe and get into your body. Now, tell me, what’s your energy like right now? Can you tell what part of your rhythm you’re in, or what archetype you want to tap into? Tell me below in the comments!