fulfilment Archives - One of Many

Guest post: The truth about being a coach in 2020

November 19, 2020 By Thea Jolly

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In-house Coach at One of many

Thea is one of our Certified Coaches and part of the coaching team on our the Lead the Change and Be Powerful Programmes.

Thea's mission is to help women feel at peace with themselves - because only then can they make their biggest and boldest contributions to their families, communities and the world.

We start with the feelings

In a coaching session emotions are often the place to start from. A nugget of truth to dissect and from which to build back up and plan a way forward.

2020 has been quite a year. The extra responsibilities on our shoulders as women, mothers, daughters, sisters, carers, managers and leaders have been heavy. Sometimes we take it in our stride, our energy, hope and faith in ourselves and the future pulling us forward. Other times we buckle under the stress and demands from around us – and from within – and wonder how we are going to get through.

Life really does feel overwhelming at times, knocking the energy, confidence and determination out of us.

And that’s OK.

Resilience isn’t about never ‘failing’ or never losing hope, or never falling down. It’s about navigating those normal human experiences with curiosity and compassion and rising stronger and wiser.

This is my job. To hold a space for women to be open and honest with themselves – to bring their biggest challenges to me and help work through them. I’m a mirror reflecting back their individual beauty and strengths as well as our common humanity and struggle.

My coaching journey

Having qualified as a life coach in 2006 I chose to become a One of many Certified Coach in 2017 for the simple reason that their philosophy, tools and concepts resonated so deeply with me and had made a big difference in my own life. I wanted to share these tools with my own clients, because I knew just how powerfully they would help them.

As an Certified Women’s Coach I have access to a massive collection of tools and practices that I can use with my clients. These provide a clear way out of the physical and emotional overwhelm that many of us find ourselves in these days. They are simple and practical – empowering us to take the next step forward again and again.

What I love about the tools and concepts is that they provide us with a common language around the complex and important concepts that enable us to grow – topics like inner wisdom, managing our energy, the mind-body connection, beliefs and spirituality. When most of our friends and family don’t follow the self-development path, it’s so powerful to feel part of a community that understands us and can talk about the things that we believe in, struggle with, and aspire to, in a way others cannot.

As an One of many in-house coach I talk a lot about energy. Yes, managing time is important – and there are many tools that help me and my clients to be organised, structured and efficient. But managing our energy is where so much of the transformations and progress is made, and this is where One of many is streets ahead of other coaching and personal development organisations.

The tools and concepts work because they are based on how women work – they just get to the essence of what makes us tick – our emotions, hormones, cultural conditioning, values, dreams – and that means they support us so much better than more generic coaching tools.

Learning as I teach

As the Roman philosopher Seneca said: ‘While we teach, we learn.’ Using and teaching the tools and concepts of One of many has – I’m certain of it – kept me learning and growing myself.

Each time I teach a tool, discuss a concept with a client or weave another client experience into the body of knowledge and experience within me, I gain deeper insight, seeing more distinctions that in turn I bring back to my clients. It’s a wonderful circular learning process.

My clients teach and support me and my wellbeing just as much as I help them.

It’s a privilege to work with such amazing women every day and I am constantly being reminded and prompted to raise my game personally and professionally. One of the great side effects of being a coach is that it keeps you accountable to your growth and wellbeing.

I know that every single one of my clients has helped me in their own unique way to navigate the craziness and overwhelm of this unusual year. It’s been an honour. Thank you.

Curious about coaching?

If you’d like to find out more about the One of many coaching tools, join Dr Jo Martin and the team for Essential Skills for Coaching Women. We’re hosting a free online workshop on 3rd December (with a replay available for those who can’t join us live). To register for your place, click here to book now.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

Coaching and burnout: The trap for women who care

November 12, 2020 By Joanna Martin

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Joanna Martin

Founder at One of many

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

6 reasons we need community (and how to find it) - January 15, 2021
The secret to rest: Dealing with a “Superwoman hangover” - January 1, 2021
Coaching and burnout: The trap for women who care - November 12, 2020

When it comes to coaching and burnout, there’s a really important distinction many women aren’t aware of when they seek support.

If we’re not mindful of this potential trap, we can find that the coach we’ve hired to try and prevent us from burning out completely, can actually make things worse.

Why?

One word: Superwoman.

How Superwoman can sabotage your support

Many of us habitually find ourselves in “Superwoman” mode when things get tough.

She’s the part of us who needs to be achieving 100% in every area of her life, all the time. She HATES asking for help and sees any kind of vulnerability as weakness.

We call Superwoman the archetype of our time for good reason. She’s ubiquitous among high-achieving women who care.

And in this short video, I explain how coaching can go wrong when we’re still wearing our Superwoman cape – and how you can do things differently.

What women need to know about coaching and burnout

Coaching and burnout – what’s your experience?

If you can relate to this, I’d love to know your experience. Have you found yourself turning professional support into a reason to raise the bar still higher? Do you tend to approach personal development as a way to push yourself further, and do you have any tips to share when it comes to stepping off the treadmill?

I’d love to know your thoughts in the comments below.

And if you’d like to know more about One of many‘s approach to coaching, make sure you’re part of the BeOne community. We’re going to be sharing details of an upcoming workshop very soon, to give you the chance to experience it firsthand.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

(Guest Post) Why is sales so difficult when you care?

September 17, 2020 By Catherine Watkin

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Catherine Watkin

Mentor, minimalist, lover of life

Catherine Watkin works with heart-centred business owners like you, who want a great business but don’t want to compromise their integrity.
She helps you get more clients saying "Yes Please!" in a way that feels authentic, comfortable and is always in alignment with your values.
Catherine believes in sales and marketing that comes from service not selfishness, from caring not coercion, and from love instead of lack.

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Latest posts by Catherine Watkin (see all)

(Guest Post) Why is sales so difficult when you care? - September 17, 2020
Selling from the Heart — It’s Not Just for Business - September 21, 2015

Whether you’re in business selling a service or product, are raising money for a cause close to your heart, or just want to “sell” a new idea to your romantic partner or your boss, there are always times when the ability to guide and influence others is an important tool in your toolkit.

But if you are like most of the clients I work with then it may that you struggle with the whole idea of “sales” , maybe feeling uncomfortable about the idea of “influencing” or needing to “manipulate” other people to your way of thinking.

And there’s a good reason for that. You see, if you’re a member of the One of many Community then chances are the reason you are “selling” your product, idea or vision is because you feel called to make a difference to others, or to the wider world, through the work that you do or the impact you want to make.

In other words: You care

Yet the very fact that you care so much can itself be a block to you getting that message out confidently enough to make the difference you know you’re here to make.

For the rest of this article I’m going to refer to small business owners and their clients because this is the group of people I know best, and who I spend my life serving. But what I talk about applies just as well to anything you’re selling – whether that’s a product, a service, a business opportunity, an idea or a vision.

And the question I’m asking today is:

Why IS sales so difficult when you care?

This is a tricky one, because after all, when we really care about our clients and want the best for them then of course we do want them to make that decision to work with us because if they don’t we can’t help them make the change they so badly want – and we don’t get to make our difference in the world

But the very fact that we do care so much makes sales so much more difficult than it could be.

After all, it’s not just about learning a structure is it?

In fact, if it was as easy as teaching the “how to” I wouldn’t even have a business! My clients would have all gone and got themselves some good, old-fashioned traditional sales training a long time ago and be off merrily “closing sales”, “handling objections” and filling up their diaries – long before they ever come across me.

But they don’t. Because really it’s about all the other “stuff”

By stuff I mean:

A deep-seated suspicion that sales is inherently manipulative, and that’s the last thing you want to do to people you care about
Feeling drawn to want to help people regardless of whether it’s because you’ve just taken their money off them
Feeling conflicted about whether it’s even OK to charge money for helping people – doesn’t that make you a “bad” person?
Fear of coming across as pushy because you only want what’s best for people and so you’d be mortified if anyone thought you were just out for your own gain.
Not valuing your work enough to charge what you are worth or have confident conversations to invite people to work with you. Because if you don’t believe in it yourself it’s hard to sell it with integrity and integrity is important to you.

And I could go on ….

The problem is that allowing all this stuff to get in the way means that you are not making a difference to as many people as you could. This isn’t good for your business, and it’s definitely not good for the people you could be helping and impacting.

So here’s what you can do to make the process of sales feel more authentic and more aligned with your caring intentions.

1. Shift your focus on to the client

To help you come at sales from a place of caring one of the most valuable things you can do it get absolutely crystal clear about your “ideal client”. Understand his or her pain, problems, desires, fears and emotions in as much detail as you can. When you do this you can’t help form an emotional connection to them. This means you to come to your sales conversations with a fierce desire to help the client, and a focus on what’s best for them (rather than what’s in it for you). When this happens something shifts and guiding someone to a decision to make a change becomes part of how you impact them – not the uncomfortable bit you’ve somehow got to get past before the “real” work can begin.

2. Connect with the value

Feeling under pressure to sell is particularly difficult if deep down you are not convinced of the value of the thing you are offering. Your inner voices might whisper “Is it really worth this much?”, “What if I can’t guarantee a result?”, “Am I really good enough to be doing this?” The truth is that if you don’t 100% believe in what you’re offering then you can’t sell it with conviction or integrity. So it’s important to do the work to connect to your value. This might be keeping a special journal where you record your success stories. Maybe even working for free with a couple of people to prove to yourself that you really are great at this. (There’s nothing wrong with this – it’s how I got started – just don’t do it for too long!).

3. Communicate that value

It’s possible to be absolutely convinced about the amazing transformation you can help your clients to achieve and know that this work is worth every penny of your fees, yet somehow still fail to communicate that to your potential client. When you struggle to articulate this difference then it’s too easy to fall back on trying to cajole, convince and push people to see what you are seeing so clearly. And this feels uncomfortable for everyone. It’s really worth taking some time out to work on communicating the value of what you offer in a way that your client will be able to clearly see for themselves why working with you will be such a good thing to do. When that happens there’s no need to work hard to convince anyone – instead you’ll hear an excited “yes please!”.

4. Follow a structure.

Without a clear structure it’s very hard to take the potential client on a conversational journey that ends with a clear decision to say yes to working with you. Without a structure you can end up in a meandering conversation without a clear focus – this is great for building relationships and hanging out with friends, but not so great when you care about making a difference to others and want them to make a commitment to change.A structure to your sales conversation is what gives you the confidence to be authentic, and to blend in your intuition and compassion. After all it’s not enough that you care about the client – they have to feel that you care too. If you want to get started having authentic sales conversations you can get started with this short video training “The 7 Steps to Yes!” here.

Get comfortable in sales conversations

Finally, here are some ideas to get you started having sales conversations that feel more authentic and comfortable – especially when you care:

Schedule some research calls with people who fit your client profile and interview them to help you better understand the problems and challenges that they are facing and they language they use to talk about them, and to help you feel more emotionally connected to the people you want to help.
Buy a beautiful notebook and start using it to capture all the evidence that you really are brilliant at what you do – testimonials, success stories, passing comments from clients etc.
Write a list of the 10 ways that someone’s life could change for the better as a result of working with you
Reach out to follow up with a potential client to give them a gentle nudge to go ahead and work with you – and do it because you care about them, not because you want the sale
Follow a structure so that you can start to feel a greater sense control around your sales conversations.

Learn how to sell with integrity

And if you’d like to take an even deeper dive into how to sell in ways that don’t involve using pushy or manipulative practices then you will love this live session I’ll be doing with Joanna Martin, One of many’s inspiring leader and founder next week:

Harnessing the Women’s PowerTypes to Sell with Integrity
Live Session: Friday 25th September at 12.00pm (UK)

During this live session we’ll be chatting about why traditional sales methods often don’t work for women and how by taking a new softer approach, and harnessing the strengths of the Women’s PowerTypes you can revolutionise both your enjoyment of sales and your results. We’d love you to join us!

Click here for more details and to register.

About Catherine

Catherine Watkin works with heart-centred business owners like you, who want a great business but don’t want to compromise their integrity. She helps you get more clients saying “Yes Please!” in a way that feels authentic, comfortable and is always in alignment with your values. Catherine believes in sales and marketing that comes from service not selfishness, from caring not coercion, and from love instead of lack.

7 ways to overcome procrastination

August 20, 2020 By Joanna Martin

About
Latest Posts

Joanna Martin

Founder at One of many

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

6 reasons we need community (and how to find it) - January 15, 2021
The secret to rest: Dealing with a “Superwoman hangover” - January 1, 2021
Coaching and burnout: The trap for women who care - November 12, 2020

With the changes and upheaval we’ve all experienced in the last 6 months, many of us are procrastinating like champions. Even if you’re usually someone who’s ruthlessly disciplined, you might find there are some items on your to-do list that are starting to recur. So how can you overcome procrastination – and what if that thing you’re avoiding isn’t actually procrastination at all?

Procrastination is rife right now

Some recent examples from our community of things they’d been putting off include:

Writing a business plan
Reading a book
Completing a tax return
Moving house
Changing jobs
Buying a dining room table (that’s me!)

… and so on.

Some really big, some pretty manageable.

Take a moment to jot down your own version of that list now.

What have you been putting off? From ordering a new lightbulb or sending an email to writing your will, take the time to capture everything that’s in your head.

I’m going to share 7 common reasons we put things off, and give you some tips on how to overcome procrastination so that you can get back into momentum. But first…

Before you overcome procrastination, here’s what it ISN’T

You see, I’ve been a bit sneaky here. At the bottom of that list of things we’d been putting off, I included my dining room table. It’s something that needs doing and I’ve been putting it off for years – classic procrastination, right?

But here’s the thing. Procrastination is defined as:

The act of putting off an IMPORTANT task, set of tasks or decision.

And to be quite honest, in the grand scheme of things, getting a dining table isn’t something that feels important to me. It’d be useful, sure – it would certainly make me feel fancier when guests come round. But when I weigh it up against everything else that matters, I have zero qualms about relegating it to the bottom of the list.

So, here’s your second invitation.

Anything on your list that’s not important to you (or going to become important at some point)? Cross it off.

Congratulate yourself on an excellent piece of PRIORITIZATION.

And move on.

The other thing that commonly gets lumped in with procrastination?

The decision we make to put off a task because we’re tired.

I would call that ENERGY MANAGEMENT.

And let’s take a moment to acknowledge that, at this collective moment a lot of us are more depleted than we have ever been.

We’re exhausted.

When we tell ourselves we’re “procrastinating” we tend to focus on the task. Your business plan, your tax return, that long overdue phonemail to your oldest mate… yes, they need doing. But what’s more important than the task itself, is the person who’s doing the task.

Often, the person who’s doing the task (you) is burnt out or exhausted.

I cannot emphasise enough how important that distinction is. If you’re looking at a big long list of things, and every single on of them is on hold right now, that’s probably because you’re totally burnt out.

Your priority needs to be radical replenishment, which often looks like 3 things: rest, sleep, saying no.

(A quick tip: When your list of things you’re putting off goes from one or two things, to a page full, you probably need to replenish your energy.)

So, with that in mind, go through your list and note anything that you’re not doing because you’re managing your energy. That might knock one thing off your list, or it might knock everything off your list. Trust your instincts, and try not to second guess yourself.

Because what you’re left with will be the things you’re really procrastinating on – and we’re about to dig into 7 reasons why that might be and what you can do about them.

Why do we procrastinate?

Once you’ve taken off the things that really aren’t that important, and made sure you’re managing your energy, what you’re left with will likely fall into one of seven categories. To overcome procrastination effectively, you need to know what the items on your list fall into.

Most of us don’t acknowledge these. We look at things we’re putting off and tell ourselves we’re lazy, incompetent, or just a total failure.

But frankly, that noisy inner critic isn’t very helpful when it comes to shifting your energy and allowing you to get things done. Put her to one side for a few minutes, because we’re going to dig in.

The 7 reasons we procrastinate (and what to do about them)

#1 Lack of planning

WHAT? You know where you need to do, you just haven’t planned to do it. And as the old adage goes, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. One of the fastest ways to overcome procrastination is actually the simplest: Make some time (enough time!) to do the thing you need to do.

WHAT TO DO: I’m a BIG believer in planning – in fact, I’d estimate that in my typical 25-30 hour working week, I spend a good 4 of those hours planning. I’m willing to bet you could probably be more effective if you allocated some serious time to doing the same. Especially when it comes to those tasks you’re putting off. Give yourself an extra half an hour to plan when you’ll do them, and see if that takes care of them.

#2 The task is out of flow

WHAT: Each of us have some things we’re great at. Maybe you love nothing more than having a good chat with a colleague, but when it comes to looking at a spreadsheet you’re suddenly overcome with the urge to check Facebook. Others will avoid a phone call like the plague, but happily tinker with a pivot table until it’s working like clockwork.

WHAT TO DO:

Delegate it to someone else (this works for decisions too!)
Decide when you’ll do it and complete it at a time when you’re in the right frame of mind to do it. Maybe that means playing a particular song, doing it first thing in the morning before you’ve had time to think about it, or having a quick pep talk with your best friend before you do it.

#3 Lack of knowledge

WHAT: If the thing you’re putting off is a little bit vague – ‘write business plan’ or ‘get fit’ – be honest. Do you know exactly what you need to do to achieve that goal? If not, who do you need to ask?

WHAT TO DO: Make the next action something you at least know how to do: Perhaps it’s reading a book, googling a “How to” guide or asking in a friendly Facebook Group. Because what’s crazier than giving yourself a hard time for not doing something you don’t even know how to achieve?

#4 Overwhelm

WHAT: Ahh, overwhelm. It’s the pesky sprite that pops up for all of us from time to time. And with homeschooling, risk management and rescheduling an entire year’s worth of events and appointments on our plates, LOTS of us are getting reacquainted with what it feels like to be utterly overwhelmed right now.

WHAT TO DO: If you want to overcome procrastination, you’ve got to get out of overwhelm first. Luckily there’s a nifty tool to help you get past it. Click here to download the Overwhelm First Aid Kit so you can regain your focus.

# 5 Analysis paralysis

WHAT: You don’t know exactly what to do about this issue… so you do nothing. And the problem gets worse. Maybe sprouts some other problems of its own. The options you’re thinking of multiply in response. And still you do nothing. Argh!

WHAT TO DO: You know when you’re driving with Sat Nav, and you get stuck on a roundabout? The computer can’t quite catch up, and so you go round and round, never locking onto the correct route? This is like that. Pick a decision, any decision, and go with it. You’ll soon get feedback on whether it was the right one – but until you take an action, you can’t get into action.

#6 Perfectionism.

WHAT: Whatever you’re going to do, has to be perfect. This is how you put off making your kid’s birthday cake so long you end up with a midnight baking session on your hands. If you’ve found yourself swearing into a packet of icing at 2 in the morning, you can probably relate.

WHAT TO DO: Just start. Think of it as a practice attempt, a “Shitty First Draft” as writer Anne Lamott calls it, or just your route off the roundabout. Done is better than perfect – it’s a wise saying for a reason.

#7 Present self / future self dissonance

WHAT: This one is a recent addition for me, and it’s shed a whole lot of light on things like financial planning or exercise that we often find ourselves putting off. Essentially, we avoid doing something that will benefit our future selves (like going for a run) because our present self is motivated by instant gratification (like eating that cookie).

WHAT TO DO: Find your motivation! Two great ways to do that are by getting an accountability partner, or batching the task you’re putting off with something you really enjoy. Habit expert James Clear calls this “temptation bundling”. So, you go for a run while listening to your favourite podcast. Or complete your tax return whilst enjoying the ambience of your favourite café. That way, you get to experience the present gratification of the temptation with the future satisfaction of having completed the task.

Go through your list again – and next to each item, jot down which of the 7 forms of procrastination it is. Does that help you get clear on your next actions? Are you finding yourself with a bit more energy to face the tasks that are on your plate? If you’re feeling better equipped to overcome procrastination, share in the comments – and if this article helps you, pass it on to a friend!

Finding momentum can be tough

At this moment in history, moving into action can feel harder than ever. But you don’t have to do it alone. Momentum for change is a 2-day live virtual experienced, designed to help you rediscover your momentum and reignite your sense of connection. Registration is now open and I’d love to welcome you to join me and our global community of women. Click here to find out more and register for your free place.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

Guest post: 5 ways to feel empowered about politics

August 6, 2020 By Sara Price

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Sara Price

Sara is a coach and mentor with over 25 years of experience in campaigning and communications. As well as her ongoing work with Pagefield, the leading independent communications agency that she co-founded in 2010, Sara is a One of Many Certified Coach, a Mastercoach and soon to be author.

#1 Understand the system

Politics can often feel like a private members club that you are paying for but are excluded from. It is a club populated by cliques, speaking a language filled with confusing jargon and running processes and procedures that seem convoluted at best and downright diabolical at worst!

To wield influence, to hold politicians to account, to create opportunities to have your say, you need to clear away the confusion and develop a solid understanding of how the system functions.

One of the fastest routes to failure is to take action inside a system that you do not understand. So get informed: do a course, read a book, speak to experts – make sure you know enough about your political system to know where the entry points are and how you might be able to influence it.

#2 Learn the language

Visiting a country where you don’t speak the language can sap your confidence and make you feel vulnerable and excluded. But often, it’s just a question of learning a few key phrases: being able to say please and thank you and ‘do you speak English?’

You don’t necessarily need to be fluent but if you know enough to get by you will feel more comfortable and more confident when travelling.

The same applies to politics. The language of politics is full of jargon and I know many people who avoid talking to politicians or about politics because they don’t understand the ‘lingo’. My advice: just treat it like any other language and spend some time learning a few key phrases.

But also, don’t be afraid to ask people to explain what they mean ‘in plain English’. If you are talking to a politician or official and you don’t understand what they are saying, there is a responsibility on them to explain more clearly. Remember, they work for you.

#3 Understand how policy is made

All political systems have – sometimes arcane – procedures for initiating, discussing and deciding on policy and legislation and it helps to have at least a superficial understanding of how this works.

Here’s a rule of thumb: by the time a draft law is being voted on in the legislature, the Government has already put a huge amount of time and effort into it and is unlikely to want to change it a great deal. So, if there’s a policy you are passionate about, you need to get involved way before it gets to that point. And that means understanding the processes used to develop policy BEFORE it becomes legislation.

#4 Stay informed

If you want to engage and influence the policies that interest you or you want to hold your representatives to account for the decisions that are making, it stands to reason that you need to stay informed.

Every country and every institution has its own way of sharing news and updates and so it’s not possible to provide an exhaustive list here but here are 3 pointers:

Watch or listen to the news or read a quality daily newspaper

I know the news can be depressing but if you want to know what is going on in the world then the news is a much better and more reliable source than Facebook.

Subscribe to a podcast

There are some brilliant podcasts that will keep you up to date with what’s going on in the world of politics generally. In the UK, the BBC has several:
a. The Week in Westminster
b. Today in Parliament
c. Pienaar’s Politics
d. Westminster Hour
e. Political Thinking with Nick Robinson

Follow your representative

If you want to hold your representative to account then you need to know what they are up to. Follow them on Twitter. Sign up for their newsletter (most of them now issue one)

#5 Take regular small steps

Don’t try and do it all at once. When you first decide to get informed and to engage more in politics it can seem overwhelming. Don’t try to eat the elephant in one sitting. Take small, regular bites. Focus on understanding first; ask questions; find people who are prepared to teach you.

You don’t have to go from vaguely interested to being a prospective candidate overnight. You don’t ever have to be a candidate at all!

But wouldn’t it be empowering just to have a deeper understanding of what the people you have elected are actually up to? Wouldn’t it feel energising to know how to get hold of your representative and how to enlist their help or hold them accountable?

You can do it – it just takes that first commitment to action.

About Sara

The Knitting, Baby-whispering Karaoke queen!

Sara is the Founder of Actually which she set up to empower those who want to make a difference in the world to grow their businesses and their impact by developing great communication skills; overcoming mindset blocks and getting the right support. Sara’s specialises in communications, campaigning and PR – and her flagship training programme, How to Actually Spread the Word, helps purpose-led entrepreneurs, coaches and consultants to step up, speak up and make a difference. She is also a One of many coach and trainer; a mentor with the social enterprise support group Unltd and the co-Founder of one of London’s leading independent communications agencies.

Please visit www.actually.world or email sara@actually.world for more information.

How to stay engaged without losing your compassion

July 16, 2020 By Sam McNeil

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Sam McNeil

Samantha McNeill is One of many’s resident digital support queen, helping us share our programs, trainings and free resources effectively, efficiently and with ease. She’s a devoted pet mom to a small menagerie of rescue dogs and cats, loves geeking out on statistics and analytics, and makes a mean veggie curry. She’s a transplant from the US currently living in Hampshire, where she dreams of one day creating a sustainable farm.

These are challenging times

Since the start of this year things have felt like a never-ending chain of escalation. Every time you see the news there is some new horrific or shocking event happening.

The stressors seem to keep piling on and we are left feeling we’re an overflowing dam that is cracking and about to burst. The world is pulsing with humanity’s feelings of isolation, fear, anger, desperation, frustration, and depression. Social media and the internet mean we’re more connected and able to share those feelings than ever. And with every negative event and emotion, that feeling grows and starts to creep out.

For many of us, recent events have hit all too close to home

When this happens, empathy, which is one of our most distinguishing traits as humans, can sometimes become a double-edged sword. Not a single one of us wants to idle by while those around us suffer. So now, more than ever, we find ourselves manically inspired and ready to take on the world so that we can protect what is most important to us.

But have you ever heard the saying “The road to hell is paved with good intentions”?

In other words, when we lose sight of our values through a feeling of self-righteousness, we sometimes can find ourselves doing or saying things we’d never normally do.

Sometimes our emotions get the best of us. Even if we go into something with the best of intentions, we may find that after an assortment of twists and turns, we lost sight of ourselves or our original goal.

When this happens, it is important to take a step back and re-evaluate ourselves and the situation.

Finding perspective amidst the storm

So, with that all being said, I invite you right now to take a second. Take a deep sigh of relief, relax your shoulders, unclench your fist, straighten your back, centre yourself and give yourself a moment.

As humans we naturally have reactive and proactive natures, so when we spot something that bothers us, it triggers an emotional response and from there we tend to decide our plan of action.

Very rarely is something as simple as going from point A to point B.

We may read A and respond instinctively with B, but then we are triggered by something else to say C and then D, and maybe even go back later to add an E… and so on.

How to stay engaged without losing compassion

A visual exercise I like to use while self-reflecting, is imagining your inner thought process as a tree. Tall, proud, forever growing, ageing, and changing with the seasons. Every branch, leaf, flower, and root of your tree is its own independent thought and the collective information they provide feeds into the trunk and becomes your base.

Instead of trying to focus on every single bit of information each of your branches, leaves, flowers, or roots may be feeding back to you, try focusing on your trunk/core. Whether you focus on them or not does not change the fact that they are a part of you.

For example – how often have you found yourself in conflict with someone, when you realise you’re being distracted by the nitty-gritty of what you’re talking about?

Maybe you catch yourself arguing the finer points of your cohabiting arrangements with your partner, over exactly who said they’d put the bins out. The issue isn’t the missed chore – it’s your need to be recognised for the responsibility you take in your partnership.

Or you’re deep in debate with a team member, dissecting the semantics of the word “regards” in a discussion about whether or not their email overstepped the mark. It’s not really the passive aggressive tone you’re discussing – it’s your worry that your colleague’s commitment to the team is faltering, and that’s seeping into external communications.

For me and my mom, our shared goal is to end oppression and find a true sense of equality in the world. The real issue was whether we both want the world to change – and we do.

With that in mind, I realise that becoming defensive about how she expresses that is a tangent. A rattling leaf that misses the trunk of our common values.

Life is a journey, not a battle

So, when you find yourself overwhelmed with emotion, try asking yourself this:

What is the core of what you are looking for?

If you had to choose 1 thought out of a 1000 to sum up your vision or goal within that moment, what would that 1 thought be?

Keep it simple – restrict it to a sentence or two.

Once you have that thought write it down. In my experience, the hardest part of a personal journey is finding your path again when you feel like you have lost your way.

With that practice in mind, when you are approaching someone about something, what is the end goal that you have in mind?

And are you conveying your thoughts from your core or are you getting lost amongst your own branches?

We’re trees in a forest

It’s near impossible for us to understand every single branch, root, leaf and flower that make up each other’s trees. Especially on social media, we rarely have the full picture behind someone’s comment. Perhaps they’ve just received devastating news; had a terrible day; or spent long hours debating this issue with someone in another group.

Maybe, like my mom, they’re processing more personal experiences with inequality and suddenly feeling acutely aware of the differences between them and even their closest loved ones.

When a comment or response stings, it can be helpful to step away and take a few breaths. To come back to your “trunk”.

Regardless of who we are, or what we believe in, it is important to remember that our end goal is still to harmonise and synchronise with one another. If we did not care we would not be talking at all, and things would never have escalated in the first place.

Going into any conversation, especially around sensitive topics, it’s really important that you understand the core of your opinion or decision.

Our challenge is to stay informed and to keep engaging with the topics that we are passionate about, without losing sight of the big change we want to see.

How about you? How do you find calm and purpose when events fire up your emotions? Let us know in the comments.

About Samantha

Animal lover | Food grower | Self taught chef

Samantha McNeill is One of many’s resident digital support queen, helping us share our programs, trainings and free resources effectively, efficiently and with ease. She’s a devoted pet mom to a small menagerie of rescue dogs and cats, loves geeking out on statistics and analytics, and makes a mean veggie curry. She’s a transplant from the US currently living in Hampshire, where she dreams of one day creating a sustainable farm.

One of many voices: Carib Eats Founder Ali Kakande

July 2, 2020 By Joanna Martin

About
Latest Posts

Joanna Martin

Founder at One of many

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

6 reasons we need community (and how to find it) - January 15, 2021
The secret to rest: Dealing with a “Superwoman hangover” - January 1, 2021
Coaching and burnout: The trap for women who care - November 12, 2020

Ali Kakande is one of many women in our community making a big difference in her corner of the world. So when she reached out recently to share her Carib Eats project, we were intrigued to find out more.

Her story of grassroots leadership exemplifies so much of what we’re all about here at One of many.

Women collaborating and supporting each other. Women creating the change that is theirs to make. Women learning, growing and developing their leadership skills as they do it. I think you’re going to love this project as much as we do.

So here’s Ali, in her own words:

Tell us a bit about Carib Eats

Carib Eats started as one response to one request for help. I’m in a few local mutual aid groups on Whatsapp – voluntary groups helping distribute help and resources to people who need them most.

One Sunday back in March – just at the start of the Covid crisis – I saw a message from a resident who was worried her brother didn’t have a meal that night. It was a worry echoed up and down Hackney, as food insecurity quickly became an issue. Well, I was cooking at the time and the solution was obvious: I’d make an extra portion, and bring it over.

I spoke to my best mate, and she was in her kitchen too. “I’ll make some extra to share” she told me, when she found out what I was doing. Within the hour a meal was delivered, and that’s how Carib Eats was born.

Now, Carib Eats delivers food once a week across Hackney to those who would benefit from a meal and a chat.

What makes this project so important?

Carib Eats is more than a meal. It’s a chance for people to connect and feel they are truly part of the wider community and not defined by their needs.

It’s important that people can request home-cooked meals that they are used to eating, and to let the people we serve know they haven’t been forgotten. As the weeks go by we‘ve got to know people a little more, and during lockdown those isolating alone have especially looked forward to seeing us.

One of the residents we support was involved in London’s iconic Notting Hill Carnival for over 30 years. Unfortunately, due to ill health, he is no longer involved, but the volunteers have felt really privileged to listen to his experiences.

We want to use this opportunity to capture the rich stories of Hackney residents that we may not always hear.

Had you done anything like this before?

No! The funny thing is, I don’t even really like cooking! And I honestly had no idea that the project would grow the way it has. But I’ve been so humbled by the response. There’s something about home-cooked food, that people actually want to eat, that’s really needed here.

We’re connecting people, checking in on them, sometimes on people who are vulnerable.

Although we started during lockdown, I don’t see the need for our support going away any time soon. Covid has simply highlighted the issues that were there already.

A recently published report by the independent Social Metrics Commission found that “Some 4.5 million people, or 7% of all people in the UK, live in families that are more than 50% below the poverty line. This compares to 2.8 million people (5%) in 2000/01, meaning that deep poverty is an issue that has worsened over the last two decades… Adding to these concerning figures is the fact that, of those currently in deep poverty, 2.4 million are also in persistent poverty; meaning that they have also been in poverty for at least two of the last three years.”

What have been the challenges?

We’re currently self-funded, and that isn’t sustainable, so we’re planning to keep going on a month-by-month basis depending on the support we have.

We put up a Just Giving page really quickly, just to see if we could keep going. That was when we came up with a name for the project, and a description:

“Four friends (& a Hackney resident on a bike) all connected through Hackney come together every Thursday. The meals have a Caribbean twist with a nod to Jamaican cuisine. We cook, deliver & chat. We would like to continue to do so and in order to do this we need help.”

Honestly, I didn’t know what to expect. But the idea caught on. I think people were drawn to the simplicity and honesty of our set up – there’s no big organisation, no complicated structure.

I was busy with my phone switched off the day after the campaign went up, so it was my kids who messaged me to say “Have you seen what’s going on?”.

Within an hour, the donations were flooding in. That’s when I realised that this was a project that had a life of its own.

How has the team organised?

At first, I kept saying “I’m not the boss!”. But I’ve naturally found myself stepping into a leadership role – and I’ve started to acknowledge the skills I have around connecting and organising people. Somehow the fact that I’m doing it for the project, and not for myself, has enabled me to be bolder than maybe I would be otherwise.

As we begin to apply for funding, or I talk to people about helping us spread the word, I’m able to be more assertive because I’m doing it for Carib Eats. I believe in our mission and our team, and that’s pushing me forward. I don’t feel apologetic about asking for help.

Right from the start, we’ve all had some really frank conversations about what we’re good at. Everyone involved has had to be really honest about what we’re able and willing to do. Some of the earliest volunteers needed to pull back from the food side, which I completely understood. But they’re still involved – cheering me on and helping me stay motivated; making connections and sharing what we’re doing; or thinking up ideas for how it could evolve.

We’ve had interest from the Museum of London in documenting the project, thanks to a local contact – and I’m hoping to build the team more.

What’s next?

As the lockdown eases, we’re taking stock and looking to the future. The goal of Carib Eats is to continue to provide meals & connect people on a weekly basis. The challenges for many will not go away and we remain committed to supporting our community.

I’m fortunate. I have a job and a supportive network, so lockdown was easier for me than some. My own personal experience tells me that it is important to help where you can and to pass on kindness and support. We all need each other, especially when times are tough.

Want to help? Here’s how you can help support Ali and the team at Carib Eats

1. Give

You can donate to Carib Eats’ Just Giving page by clicking here.

2. Share

No worries if you can’t donate! You can also help by sharing and spreading the word. Find the team on Instagram and Facebook and give them a like, follow or share.

3. Step up

Carib Eats are currently looking for someone to help with building their website and managing social media. So if you, or someone you know, would be interested in joining the volunteer team, please get in touch at caribeatslondon@gmail.com.

Are you changing your corner of the world?

Ali’s one of many women making a difference in her corner of the world. A grassroots leader learning, growing, and connecting as she goes. We love to share stories from within our community to help spread the word about projects. Come over to our Facebook group and let us know if you’ve got a story to share!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

Guest post: Being an introvert in an extrovert world

March 19, 2020 By Margaret Collins

About
Latest Posts

Margaret Collins

Margaret Collins is a One of many in-house coach. She has been coaching for nearly 20 years, and is the author of several books (including "Beyond Impostor Syndrome”). In addition to her One of Many™ training she has experienced many different approaches and tools including cognitive behavioural confidence coaching, neuropsychology, NLP and The Daring Way™/Dare to Lead™ based on the research of Dr Brené Brown.

Founder of CABS Cardiff, Margaret is familiar with the challenge of juggling demanding work roles with caring responsibilities whilst managing and running a business. She loves helping women explore how to create a dynamic and flexible work-life balance that works for them and their needs.

Latest posts by Margaret Collins (see all)

Guest post: Being an introvert in an extrovert world - March 19, 2020
Guest post: Are there advantages to Imposter Syndrome? - January 30, 2020

What does it feel like to be an introvert in an extrovert world?

It was the weekend before Christmas and I was getting ready to visit a neighbour who had invited me and other neighbours for drinks. I knew most of the people who might be at the gathering and would enjoy catching up with their news and stories.

Then my sister (a disabled adult) came home from her day out, tired, under the weather with a cold starting and fell deeply asleep just before we were due to leave for the party. With a degree of sadness – and a larger part of joy – I called my friend and explained that we wouldn’t be able to join her, but “many thanks for the invitation!”

Many introverts will completely understand this feeling.

It’s great to be invited… and even better to not have to attend!

What being an introvert isn’t

Being an introvert doesn’t mean you’re antisocial or don’t like being with people. Many introverts are very sociable, they just prefer smaller, more intimate gatherings rather than larger and potentially noisy parties. Introverts tend to enjoy deeper or more meaningful conversations in preference to making small talk with strangers.

So what does it mean to be an “introvert”?

In truth, there is more than one way to be introverted but the thing that all introverts have in common is that social interactions tend to drain their energy reserves. (Even when they are enjoying themselves in larger groups, it often feels exhausting.)

After a long day at work, an introvert will want to recharge their internal batteries – their preferred system is likely to involve a quiet night in, reading, listening to music, playing videos or games. Their energy is replenished internally, often alone.

In a similar situation a tired extrovert is more likely to come home and exclaim “I’m exhausted, let’s go out and party!”. A typical extrovert charges their batteries by “plugging in” to the energy of the people and events around them.

As you reflect on that last paragraph most people will totally understand both options, some people want quiet time, others want to socialise… yet, the truth is, that people who are quieter within groups or prefer to withdraw from groups and spend time on their own are often judged more harshly in most western cultures.

Is it really an extrovert world?

Unless you are an introvert, it can be easy to miss the extrovert bias. In most workplaces there are by default, shared or open plan offices and workspaces. These spaces are often noisy – and most introverts find this type of environment particularly challenging.

In most workplaces, work is assigned to teams. This style of working does not play to an introvert’s strengths and is often challenging for them. During job interviews and assessment centre exercises our group interactions are scrutinised, our willingness or ability to be an enthusiastic leader, to make our voice heard in a crowd, to be proactive and to persuade or influence others is evaluated and any preference for holding back, for reflection or quiet thought is usually given lower value in the “potential leader” stakes.

And yet introverts have many strengths.

They are very comfortable with data analysis, providing constructive critical analysis, planning (they love planning!) and risk assessment.
Introverts prefer to listen, reflect and evaluate before they offer a considered opinion. When making decisions a typical introvert may prefer to consider a body of evidence and choose a relatively risk averse option for the way forward. They provide a steady hand on the helm in troubled times.
There is an increasing body of evidence that shows that introverted employees, managers and leaders can be highly effective, can develop the members of their teams, deliver on their promises and follow-through on their work commitments.
And while it is a common perception that extroverts make better leaders, there really isn’t the evidence to back that hypothesis.

How can we harness the power of introverts?

As managers within organisations there are many small changes that can easily be made that will make a more even playing field for all your workers to give of their best. Here are a few practical ideas:

Give people the information to be discussed at a meeting in advance of the meeting so that people have the opportunity to read and consider that information before open discussion.
Invite people to write their thoughts on sticky notes before a group discussion, adding the notes to a collection on a wall for group consideration before evaluation.
Rather than the typical “free-for-all” discussion, there may be times when taking turns around the table inviting everyone to add their time-limited piece, might allow a reluctant introvert the opportunity to be heard.

And if you’re an introvert in an extrovert world?

Maybe the most important step is to recognise that you are an introvert and understand what this means for demands on your energy reserves. Once you clearly see that social interactions and group meetings drain energy, plan your strategy.

If you know you have a busy day ahead, rest up beforehand, maximise your alone time so you go into the day with your batteries topped up.
Understand that you may need to plan for time alone before or after a meeting – how can you create the space you need? Sometimes a tea or coffee break taken alone or a walk around the building will provide a 10 minute oasis of peace.
Recognise that creating this space may well be meeting a fundamental need for you – it’s not a sign of weakness or something to beat yourself up for. Do understand that it’s often more helpful to take this break before returning to engage fully with the group rather than to struggle on, miserable and withdrawn.
Another important step is for introverts to understand and own their strengths. When we realise that we have an unusual passion for planning, that our ability to spot potential risks is a great asset for the team not shared by all of our colleagues, and our hunger for information makes us natural researchers we begin to see that there’s nothing wrong with being introverted, we are essential to the organisation!
It might not be the highlight of your day but do go to meetings prepared, maybe even determined to make a contribution and get your voice heard. I actively seek to speak within the first ten minutes of the start of a meeting.

Begin to value your strengths and to offer them to your colleagues in ways that show that you understand their value.

At the moment, most organisations do have an extrovert bias so introverts will do well to plan for behavioural flexibility – even a little bit of fake-it-til-you-make-it.

So remember:

Plan to regularly replenish your energies
Use your strengths in strategy, preparation, analysis and detail orientation
Identify the highlights you wish to share in meetings
And yes, be brave!

Over to you…

If you’re an introvert, what strategies do you use to thrive and play to your strengths? Share them in the comments below!

About Margaret

Margaret Collins is a One of many in-house coach. She has been coaching for nearly 20 years, and is the author of several books (including “Beyond Impostor Syndrome”). In addition to her One of Many™ training she has experienced many different approaches and tools including cognitive behavioural confidence coaching, neuropsychology, NLP and The Daring Way™/Dare to Lead™ based on the research of Dr Brené Brown.

Founder of CABS Cardiff, Margaret is familiar with the challenge of juggling demanding work roles with caring responsibilities whilst managing and running a business. She loves helping women explore how to create a dynamic and flexible work-life balance that works for them and their needs. Find out more about her work by clicking here.

How to actually make a difference

February 27, 2020 By Sara Price

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Sara Price

Politics.

Now before you click to another page, here’s another thing you might find surprising – so do you.

‘Oh no I don’t…’

‘Oh yes you do…’

‘Oh no I don’t…’

‘Oh yes….’

Sorry, wrong blog, we’re past the Christmas Panto season right? Although given the way that much of our politics is conducted, sometimes pantomime seems apt…

Why you care about politics (even if you think you don’t)

Anyway, back to the point: why do I insist that you care about politics?

Well, here’s a list of issues which almost certainly affect your life in one way or another. I am prepared to bet rather a lot of money you care about at least one of them:

How much tax you pay
How much money you are paid
How much you receive in benefits
What your children learn at school
How qualified the teachers are that teach them
How long the school holidays are
What access you have to childcare, and who pays for it
How many hours you work
How much holiday you can take from work
Your access to healthcare if you’re too sick to work
Your access to sexual health services
What age you can get married
Whether you can get married or not
Whether or not we, as a country, go to war
When your rubbish is collected
Whether that new development near your house gets planning permission
The amount of renewable energy we produce as a nation
Climate change
Plastics in the ocean
GMO food
Nuclear weapons…

Is there something on this list that you care about?

Yes?

Then you care about politics.

Because every single item on that list is determined — or at least heavily influenced — by politicians at a local, national or international level.

Elections, referendums, protests – these are all huge political moments in our lifetimes. But the opportunities for usto have an impact on these big, important decisions aren’t limited to these snapshots in time.

Whether you agree with the outcomes or not, if you want to actually make a difference, you have a choice. You can wait for the next moment to come along – another election, another referendum, another protest…

OR you can get informed, get engaged, get empowered and actually make a difference more regularly than once every few years.

An optimist’s take on creating change

I may have mentioned that I am an optimist?

Here’s what I imagine…

…a world in which we do more than turn up once every few years, mark a cross on a piece of paper, and then moan to our friends about how our politicians don’t represent us.

…a world in which the electorate (which means YOU) feels informed, engaged and empowered to have an impact on the issues they care about.

…a world in which we hold our representatives accountable for the actions they take and the decisions they make.

That’s the world I want to live in and the one I want to do something to contribute to.

Why?

Because of that list of issues that you care about.

Because politics is important beyond the moments.

Because I don’t want to feel helpless and hopeless.

Because I want to feel informed, empowered and engaged.

And I suspect maybe you do too.

How to actually make a difference: 3 myths about getting involved

Lots of the myths you might have unconsciously absorbed about becoming ‘politically involved’ simply aren’t true. Here are 3 that commonly stop us from taking action, and the truth behind them.

Myth #1 Getting involved in politics will take up all my time

Something as simple as getting informed about an issue you care about; finding out what organisations are working to improve it or signing a petition might only take a few minutes. Do that every day or week, and you’ll soon be more engaged with what’s going on.

Myth #2 If I want to make a difference, I’ll have to join a party or start a campaign

There are lots of groups, individuals and organizations already doing amazing work on all kinds of issues. So you don’t need to start from scratch. Whether it’s making a donation, sharing their work with your network, or contributing your time and skills, there are ways to get involved at every level.

Myth #3: I need to spend years studying politics before I get started

Politics isn’t for the elite, the wealthy or the educated. It’s for all of us. And starting with grassroots issues that matter to you — a local footpath, a library you love, a policy at work you don’t agree with — is the best way to learn more.

We deserve more

The philosopher and diplomat Joseph de Maistre once said that “In a democracy people get the leaders they deserve.”

Isn’t it time for us to deserve better leaders?

Isn’t it time we stepped up? Spoke out? Held our leaders to account?

Isn’t it time we got involved? Made a difference? Had a say?

Then perhaps when the next political moment rolls around, we will have gone some way to creating that world I imagine.

I’ll be sharing more ways you can get involved and have an impact on future blogs.

For now, I’m curious: What’s your relationship with politics like? Do you feel as though you’re engaged with the issues that matter; does it all feel like a distant circus of posturing egos; do you feel empowered, helpless, or somewhere in between?

I’d really love to know — share your take in the comments below.

About Sara

The Knitting, Baby-whispering Karaoke queen!

Please visit www.actually.world or email sara@actually.world for more information.

How to live life on your own terms

February 20, 2020 By Joanna Martin

About
Latest Posts

Joanna Martin

Founder at One of many

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

6 reasons we need community (and how to find it) - January 15, 2021
The secret to rest: Dealing with a “Superwoman hangover” - January 1, 2021
Coaching and burnout: The trap for women who care - November 12, 2020

One of the greatest privileges we have is to make choices. When it comes to knowing how to live life on your own terms, it’s so important that we take stock of the many freedoms we now have, compared to generations of women before us. That’s not to say it’s always easy. Today I want to share some practical insights into why that is, and how to live life on your own terms.

Recognising how lucky we are

Discrimination, inequality and massive imabalances in power are very real, even in today’s world. And yet, there are many choices we’re able to make as women that would have been unthinkable for our mothers, grandmothers, and generations before them.

I loved hearing Michelle Williams acknowledge this at the Golden Globes 2020. She said:

"I’m grateful for the acknowledgment of the choices I’ve made, and I’m also grateful to have lived at a moment in our society where choice exists...

I’ve tried my very best to live a life of my own making and not just a series of events that happened to me, but one that I can stand back and look at and recognize my handwriting all over, sometimes messy and scrawling, sometimes careful and precise, but one that I carved with my own hand."

Now, if you’re rolling your eyes a little, I get it. A Hollywood actress, receiving a glittering award at a fancy event… it’s easy to feel like she’s got it all sorted.

As though it’s easy to talk about “choice” when you’re wealthy and privileged.

And yet most of us are extremely fortunate to also have choices. If you’ve received an education, have access to clean water and healthcare, and are able to make fundamental decisions about contraception, finances and marriage, you’re better off than millions of women around the world.

So why do we end up feeling like we’re stuck?

Gratitude for your good fortune is one thing. And then there's the daily reality – bills to pay, kids to wrangle, relationships to navigate, jobs to do.

Sure, we might have more freedom than many, many other women throughout history. But it's also very normal to feel as though right now, today, you don't have an awful lot of say in the demands being made of you.

At One of many we use “archetypes” to explore common patterns of being that show up in the lives of many women.

As well as the 5 Women’s PowerTypes, our models of powerful feminine leadership, we also see 3 “disempowering archetypes” show up.

These can help you understand what’s happening at those times when it doesn’t feel as though you’re living life on your own terms.

We often feel powerless when...

We’re in “victim” mode: We feel helpless, and as though we can’t do anything to change the situation we’re in.

We’re in “martyr” mode. This is the archetype of the woman who sacrifices everything for others, and never has the space to give to her own needs or desires.

We’re in “bitch” mode. This is where our pent up anger and resentment comes out, and we lash out at those around us (yes, often with the people we love most).

How do you find your way back to the life you want?

If these disempowering archetypes help us understand why we’re feeling boxed in or lacking in power, the Women’s PowerTypes are a framework that allow us to connect to the choices we do have in ay given moment.

These might be as simple as the choices you have about how to respond to a situation. The details you notice, the lessons you take, or the aspects you choose to let go of.

We become conscious of our choices when…

We get to know ourselves. We start to explore what we want, what makes us feel good, what our fears and patterns are. This might be through journaling, talking to a trusted friend or coach, or taking time out regularly without an agenda to enjoy some space that’s just for us.

We give ourselves permission. We allow ourselves to (shock, horror!) do things that are only for us, not for anyone else. If you’re someone who spends their time making other people’s lives easier, this can be a truly radical step.

We get support. At One of many we believe that collaboration is key to changing the kind of world we live in. When we support each other and share our journeys, we’re all able to thrive and grow further than we ever could by ourselves.

Do you want to live life on your terms?

At One of many we’ve developed a specific set of tools to help women find their power and take control of their lives. And our mission is to get those tools into the hands of as many women as possible.

Would you like to be part of this turning tide?

Take a look at Living the Change – our groundbreaking community providing the support, community and tools you need to create the life you want.

Click here to find out more.

You’ll find out what makes our approach so different, and how it’s helping women around the world live life on their own terms.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.