One of Many

Woman looking to create change

post

When there’s too much to do, dance!

By

Joanna Martin

Joanna Martin

Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

It’s the end of a tough day. Things are always busy – but right now, it feels as though I’m in the centre of a tornado. The team’s almost doubled in size over the past months; we’re launching new events, fine-tuning (OK, creating…) systems and building projects. And the rest of life doesn’t stop, right? Friends need support, kids need time with mum, partners have their own challenges to work through. My go-to remedy is a simple one. When there’s too much to do, dance.

When there’s too much to do, dance

If you’ve ever been to one of our live events, you know we like to start (and end… and break up the day…) with dance parties. It’s one of our secret weapons when it comes to creating the warm, relaxed, focused atmosphere we’re renowned for. But dancing isn’t something we only do when we’re together.

At the end of that tough day, I love to close the door of the office, turn the music up loud, and let loose. Often with the kids involved as well – they instinctively understand the freedom and joy that comes with letting go to music. And they’re the masters of unselfconsciousness!

If you find it hard to imagine letting go and shaking your thing – or if you’re like me, a devotee of the one-woman dance party – read on. I want to share 5 serious benefits to shaking it out when things get tough.

5 reasons dancing is your secret leadership weapon

1. Dance gets you moving.

Moving your body, even slowly, is good for you. It:

  • Raises your cardiovascular activity
  • Stretches your muscles
  • Gets your blood pumping
  • Makes your parasympathetic system work to balance you

… and generally gets your energy flowing again.

On days you “don’t have time for” exercise, if it involved travelling to a class or getting changed to go for a run, dancing can give you the boost of a mini-workout in just a few minutes. And it makes a difference! Moving your body gets oxygen flowing to your brain and has a powerful impact on your performance, even if your job’s a sedentary one.

In a 2018 study, researchers found that dancing is a way to promote the connectivity between the brain’s two hemispheres. They concluded that long-term dance practice positively affects brain activity, and is linked to our “neuroplasticity” – our capacity to adapt and change by forming new neural connections. Pretty useful if your role’s a demanding one, no?

2. Dance shifts your emotional state.

At One of many we work with the Women’s PowerTypes; 5 distinct archetypes that help us access different kinds of female power. When it feels as though there’s too much to do, these become even more important.

At busy times it’s essential to be able to change the way you’re leading, to allow yourself to be most effective in the new context.

So if you need to shift out of decision-making “work mode” to connect with your partner; or you’ve been flat out getting things done and now need to show up for a really sensitive meeting with a staff member; or you’ve come out of a fast-paced creative brainstorm and need to look in close detail at a budget spreadsheet… how do you change your state?

There are lots of ways to tap into the different PowerTypes, but the fastest and most effective one I know is to have a quick dance.

Even in the office, it’s possible if you get creative. Plug in your headphones, find an empty meeting room, and dance it out. This really works at the end of the day, if you’ve been handling a lot. Give it a try next time you’ve not stopped since breakfast. 

And if you need some inspiration about working this practice into your day, come into the BeOne group where you’ll find a friendly community with great suggestions on integrating this tool into your life.

3. Dancing isn’t an achievement

OK, sometimes stepping away from the screen for 5 minutes feels like an achievement. (While you’re at it, Superwoman, have a glass of water and pop to the loo. Your body will thank you…)

But “dance really badly to an embarrassingly bad pop tune” probably isn’t on your list of quarterly priorities, your daily to-do list, or your life goals. It’s play, pure and simple — something you’re doing just for the joy of it. Because it feels good.

Sticking on a song and throwing some shapes isn’t something that will result in any income, kudos or approval from others. It’s not productive, there’s no value tied to it. And that’s why it’s important. It reminds us of our gift to the world simply by being – of the value of experiencing our lives.

The same goes for any creative activity. We can use it as a way to practice letting go of our competent, high achieving, successful selves and unlock that creative side. In the words of Glennon Doyle,

“If you feel something calling you to dance or write or paint or sing, please refuse to worry about whether you’re good enough. Just do it. Be generous. Offer a gift to the world that no one else can offer: yourself.”

4. Dance gets you out of your head

When we put on music and move our bodies at the same time, we gain distinct benefits that add up to more than the sum of both activities. John Krakauer, a neuroscientist at Columbia University, suggested why that might be:

“Maybe synchronizing music, which many studies have shown is pleasing to both the ear and brain, and movement—in essence, dance—may constitute a pleasure double play.

Music is known to stimulate pleasure and reward areas like the orbitofrontal cortex, located directly behind one’s eyes, as well as a midbrain region called the ventral striatum. In particular, the amount of activation in these areas matches up with how much we enjoy the tunes. In addition, music activates the cerebellum, at the base of the brain, which is involved in the coordination and timing of movement.”

In other words, when we “lose ourselves” in music we’re allowing different areas of our brain to take over, giving our thinking, strategizing, and let’s face it worrying brain a break. It’s one reason I think just a few minutes of dancing can feel like such a powerful break from routine – and really “reset” you for the next mountain you’ve got to tackle. If you have too much to do, giving your brain a chance to rest is a powerful way to find the extra energy you need.

5. It sets a powerful example.

As leaders, we don’t just need to be driving forward, creating results. If you’ve ever faced burnout personally, or led a team who were at the point of exhaustion, you’ll know how unsustainable the “keep going at all costs” philosophy is.

When things get busy, I’ve been known to start a virtual team meeting with some desk dancing. It lightens the mood, gets us connected and replaces those purposeful frowns with bright smiles. It keeps my mood up and replenishes my energy, ready to handle whatever throws at me. And it reminds us all that we exist beyond our targets and priorities, and can support and connect with each other beyond our usual communication.

How about you?

Do you love to dance, or does the thought make you squirm a little? Do you have any other practices that have similar effects, or ways to quickly shift your mood? I’d love to know – share your experience with others in the comments.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

post

Guest post: What menopause means

By

Alexandra Pope

Alexandra Pope

Alexandra Pope is co-director of Red School and co-author of the iconic and hugely celebrated book from Hay House, Wild Power: discover the magic of the menstrual cycle and awaken the feminine path to power.

Together with colleague and co-author, Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer, she teaches a radical new approach to women’s health and wellbeing; creativity and leadership; and spiritual life based on the power of our menstruality consciousness.

With a background in teaching, psychotherapy and hypnotherapy and drawing on 40 years collective experience pioneering this emerging field of menstruality, they offer workshops, online courses, training and coaching worldwide based on the power of the menstrual cycle, and the developmental journey from menarche to menopause. Find out more at www.redschool.net
Alexandra Pope

Latest posts by Alexandra Pope (see all)

“Menopause is an opportunity”. Let’s be honest, if you ask most people what menopause means, you won’t often hear that said!

For those of you in menopause right now, you may either be scratching your head wondering what I am on… or throwing epithets of rage at me.

Bear with me!

What menopause means: a different way of thinking about “The Change”

I am not discounting the very real suffering that too many of us experience when we begin to go through the menopause.

However, I believe there is also something very powerful trying to happen at menopause. If you know how to connect with that, menopause can be experienced as a path that supports you to refine and hone who you truly are. And therein lies great freedom.

Menopause is an ending, a death process in short. Your body and soul go through a transformation, and like the caterpillar going into the cocoon, as you enter menopause you go to ‘mush’ first.

Much of the powerful emotion that can emerge at menopause is connected to feelings that can emerge with ‘endings’. You are shedding who you think you are and for awhile may have no idea what it is that you want, or even who you are. You are left feeling psychologically exposed. This is all normal and it is the prelude to waking up to what you are truly about.

This is the opportunity of menopause – the opportunity to know and accept yourself deeply.

To help harness this opportunity, you have two particular superpowers that awaken at menopause very strongly:

1. Inner knowing

As you start to let go into menopause, you will notice the veils fall from your eyes. By that I mean you will suddenly feel, sense, see and know things that you didn’t or couldn’t before.

You’ll know things that you need to do, however difficult or challenging. You’ll just know and can’t argue with them! You have both a deep instinctual knowing and can really see-through both yourself and the illusions of society, particularly all the subtle and not so subtle ways that patriarchy operates. A true ‘emperor’s got no clothes’ moment.

And you’ll have zero tolerance for it!

2. The power of No

You may well find yourself saying No to just about everything.

This is not ‘being negative’, it is about you knowing what is no longer relevant, what you do not want in your life. Be heartened by the words of Warren Buffet who said that ‘the really successful person says NO to practically everything’ and harness this force.

It’s helping you to clear the ground of all those things that aren’t really you anymore, or no longer float your boat, even as you might, for instance, be really good at a certain job.

This process can also include a literal clearing of stuff and people from your life. Some relationships bite the dust at this point. In clearing the ground you create space for something new to emerge or for what is most essential or important in you to flourish. You will find this voice of ‘No’ is uncompromising. But remember:

Behind the No lies a great and powerful Yes to yourself.

The shadow side of your new power

Like all powers, these energies have their shadow side. If you are not sufficiently mindful and self caring, the inner sight and knowing can simply be experienced as overwhelm, grief or rage (the latter two may happen regardless, but you don’t want to get stuck there). And the ‘No’ power can simply come out as reactivity, irritation, frustration and anger.

To activate these powers in a wholesome way you need time and space for yourself. Time and space for yourself are the commodities most often in short supply. You may be someone who still has children at home, elderly parents to care for, a demanding job or any combination of these. In other words, someone who has precious little time for yourself.

But here’s the rub, the one thing that your soul demands of you at menopause is time and space for you.

Time to simply be, with no responsibility for anyone.

Without it you will feel as though you are going mad, with it you will start to slowly and quietly feel the order and meaning of this powerful life transition get to work.

So how are you going to get it?

Here are 4 powerful ways to begin to embrace what menopause means, and tap into the deep well of power that is waiting to be drawn on.

1. Be aware of what is happening

Consciously name what is happening to yourself, metaphorically turn and face the change and greet it with dignity.

2. Recognise that some things will need to change

Be kind to yourself – cut yourself some slack. Do not hold the same expectations that you would normally have of yourself. No more ‘going the extra mile’ for anybody. What you do and who you are will still be enough. You need your energy for yourself now.

3. Start small

Give yourself microdoses, or one percent, of sacred time for yourself with plentiful doses of silence, and no, emphatically, no ‘to do ‘ lists or demands on yourself.

One percent is always doable. It may not be perfect but it’s something and you will begin to feel moments of relief coming into the system. Schedule it in. It might be no more than half an hour at first, but it’s all yours. Sacrosanct. The more you taste it, the easier it will be to claim. You’ll get ruthless with your schedule as you wield that ‘No’ power!

4. Write it out

Keep a journal to hand to help you drop your bundle – sometimes writing everything that’s in you head is a way of slowing down and putting the stuff of the world to one side temporarily.

And as you let go, your inner life starts to speak…emotions, feelings, memories, realisation, revelations emerge. You might feel you want to note some of that. It’s your call. I impose no rules on you in your alone time.

Menopause: A time to come home to yourself

Think of menopause as an opportunity to truly come home to yourself, get some deep rest and repair, and receive utter clarity about who you are and what you truly want. This is the recipe for experiencing a deeply creative and meaningful post menopause life.

Want to learn more about the power of menopause?

If this article has seeded something in you, and you’d like encouragement and support from a like-minded group of women as you undergo this powerful transition, we invite you to join our upcoming online programme, “Menopause: The Great Awakener” starting Tuesday 29th October. To see if this programme is for you, we invite you to join our free introductory webinar on Tuesday 15th October 2019 at 7pm UK, Menopause: Reclaim the Dignity and Power here: www.redschoolmenopause.com

About Alexandra

Alexandra PopeAlexandra Pope is co-director of Red School and co-author of the iconic and hugely celebrated book from Hay House, Wild Power: discover the magic of the menstrual cycle and awaken the feminine path to power.

Together with colleague and co-author, Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer, she teaches a radical new approach to women’s health and wellbeing; creativity and leadership; and spiritual life based on the power of our menstruality consciousness.

With a background in teaching, psychotherapy and hypnotherapy and drawing on 40 years collective experience pioneering this emerging field of menstruality, they offer workshops, online courses, training and coaching worldwide based on the power of the menstrual cycle, and the developmental journey from menarche to menopause. Find out more at
www.redschool.net

post

Guest blog: How to beat stress: 5 powerful mindset shifts

By

Annie Stoker

Annie Stoker

Master Trainer and Head of Coaching at One of many
Annie Stoker is perhaps the UK's most educated coach and trainer in what it takes to be happy. She has distilled 27 years experience in diverse psychological and spiritual perspectives into a simple but profound manual for the mind: The Personal Development Handbook.” She has coached influential figures, and been featured widely on TV, radio and in print.

Having experienced not just health and sickness, but also success and failure, marriage and divorce, wealth and poverty, Annie now knows that real growth is not another ‘let’s make it all ok’ campaign. It’s about finding the truth at the core of ourselves so that we have the inner freedom to deal with whatever life throws at us.
Annie Stoker

Latest posts by Annie Stoker (see all)

The work emergency that only you can fix. The full glass of water splashing across the laptop. “Mum, I need a costume for school TOMORROW!”. Unfortunately, we haven’t yet come across a magic cure for the curveballs life likes to surprise us with from time to time.

What I can share are some simple mindset shifts to help you handle the day to day dramas – and prevent stress from growing from a one-off spike in heart rate to a chronic, and serious, background to your life.

What is stress?

Stress can be characterised as your body’s response to a perceived threat of some kind, whether physical, emotional or mental. It creates a “fight or flight” response that helps us react quickly and effectively when we need to. Think about that burst of mental clarity that helps you meet a tough deadline, or the surge of adrenaline behind your just-in-time sprint to catch your train.

New research has indicated that stress can actually be positive in some instances. In one University of Berkeley study in 2013, rats exposed to moderate stress appeared to demonstrate enhanced neural function and ability to learn. There’s also some evidence that reframing stress as positive – for example, seeing a raised heart rate or faster breathing as a sign of excitement or energy rather than fear – can help mitigate its effects.

But when stress becomes chronic or long term, its detrimental effects are well documented. It’s a key factor in burnout, as well as contributing to insomnia, high blood pressure, lowered immunity, and a whole heap of other conditions.

These 5 mindset shifts to control stress can help prevent day to day stress from becoming chronic. See if any of them feel relevant to you right now.

1. Judgment

Judgment comes from the part of us that makes things right or wrong, good or bad.

For example, you might feel that being landed with an additional project on your plate at work is “wrong” or that the driver holding you up on the way to pick up the kids from school is “bad”.

The trouble is, the way we look at events is subjective – it’s only from our perspective.

What if you discovered that in fact your boss had given you that extra assignment to bolster your chances of a promotion they’re lobbying for on your behalf?

Or that the dithering driver was struggling through a devastating day, just doing their best to stay safe and focused as their world crumbled around them?

Judgment can stop you seeing what’s actually happening, and add a layer of stress that doesn’t need to be there.

Where could you let go of your perceptions and look at the neutral facts, rather than your interpretation of them?

2. Comparison

“Comparison is the thief of joy” goes the saying, and there’s a lot of truth in it. Whether you’re comparing yourself favourably to others, and feeling superior, or feeling inadequate and ordinary next to the shining star on your social media feed, comparing yourself to others is unlikely to be serving you.

Comparison gives us the illusion of separation from one another, and increases our tendency to feel lonely, isolated or misunderstood.

When do you tend to compare yourself to others?

How can you gently remind yourself that everyone has their own challenges and struggles, and that no one of us is more valuable than any other?

3. Issues

When we discover what feels like a real “issue” – perhaps it’s with trust, or commitment, or self-confidence – it can feel like we’ve unlocked a mystery. And to an extent, it really is helpful to get a handle on our deep-rooted motivations and fears.

The problem can arise when self-reflection starts to tip into self-obsession, or we begin to define ourselves by our “issues”. It can be stressful to navigate life feeling as though the issues that trouble us are insurmountable, and it removes our power to change.

How can you acknowledge your amazing resilience, and your capacity to change and let go?

Can you find a balance between honouring and accepting your experience, and moving on from it?

4. Discouragement

Many of us have an “Inner Critic” who can be increasingly loud at times when we’re stressed. And it can really impact our ability to rest and unwind, when it tells us we’re “lazy” or “weak” for taking time out to care for ourselves.

If you notice you tend to slip into a discouraging mindset, try imagining what a really supportive friend would say instead. Perhaps they’d encourage you to take time out, or reassure you that everything will work out.

Or maybe they’d simply tell you how amazing you are just for being you.

Try checking in with their voice instead.

5. Expectations

One of the biggest causes of stress can be our expectations.

You’re picturing a perfect reunion of your laughing family… except your mum’s her usual critical self and your brother still has the emotional maturity of a toothbrush. You daydream of hitting a six figure profit… except your business is just starting up and you’re still ironing out exactly who your ideal clients are.

Coming back to reality can help us let go of expectations that just end in disappoinment. Mindfulness is a technique that we can use to bring ourselves back to the present moment. It allows us to be present to what is, instead of being swallowed up by past regrets or future expectations.

Researchers are exploring the impact this can have, with positive outcomes. One study at the University of Surrey reported a 40% reduction in perceived stress after participants completed an online mindfulness course.

How could you be more present in your day to day life, and less fixated on what might happen – whether it’s an outcome you long for, or dread?

If you’d like some support to introduce mindfulness into your life, take a look at Be Happy Now – a video course to help you put mindfulness into action in all areas of your everyday life.

How do you beat stress?

Stress has been described as a modern epidemic. In the largest known study of stress levels in the UK, a 2018 survey of 4619 people, 74% of people reported that in the last year they’d felt “so stressed they have been overwhelmed or unable to cope”.

So it makes sense that ensuring your day-to-day experience is as stress-free as possible will better help you handle the curveballs life likes to lob at you from time to time.

I’d love to know which of these 5 mindset shifts makes a difference in your life. Leave a comment below, let us know.

About Annie Stoker

Psychotherapist. Author. Property Investor. Dog-Lover. Chilled-Out Friend.

Annie Stoker is perhaps the UK’s most educated coach and trainer in what it takes to be happy. She has distilled 27 years experience in diverse psychological and spiritual perspectives into a simple but profound manual for the mind: The Personal Development Handbook.” She has coached influential figures, and been featured widely on TV, radio and in print.

Having experienced not just health and sickness, but also success and failure, marriage and divorce, wealth and poverty, Annie now knows that real growth is not another ‘let’s make it all ok’ campaign. It’s about finding the truth at the core of ourselves so that we have the inner freedom to deal with whatever life throws at us.

Annie is our Master Trainer and Head of Coaching at One of many.

post

How to motivate yourself to exercise

By

Joanna Martin

Joanna Martin

Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

You already know what you need to do to stay healthy. Eat your greens, move your body, get enough sleep… And yet, so many of us find ourselves lapsing when it comes to taking care of our bodies. Today I want to share a simple mindset technique for how to motivate yourself to exercise, change your diet, or embrace whatever healthy habit is top of your list.

The most effective way to make change

Karen, one of the ladies in our community, asked a great question in our Facebook Group. She wanted to know the group’s tips on finding ‘towards motivation’ when it comes to health.

If you’re not familiar with the distinction, ‘towards’ motivation is a way to describe something that inspires you to take steps in the direction of a specific goal.

For example, if you’re stopping smoking you might be motivated by:

  • Being a great example of healthy living for my kids
  • Enjoying extra energy and good health
  • Treating myself to a monthly massage with your extra cash

It’s different from ‘away’ motivation, which focuses on what you’re leaving behind. In the above example, that would be:

  • No longer being a bad role model to my kids
  • Getting rid of that persistent cough and continual feeling of tiredness
  • Stopping wasting money on cigarettes

You can see the difference, right?

Among other things, “away” motivation tends to wear off once you’ve taken the first steps. (When your cough is gone, that’s no longer driving you forward.)

Whereas, ‘towards’ motivation tends to build and strengthen as time goes on, making the change more likely to stick.

Why motivation to get healthy is hard

Now, health can be a particularly tricky area to find our “towards” motivation for, partly because of the huge role our media culture plays in our relationship to our bodies.

For example, in a 2016 study by Dove, researchers found that one out of every two Australian women reported feeling worse about themselves after looking at images of attractive women in magazines.

When we’re often encouraged to compare ourselves to unattainable physical standards, it’s natural for us to start to frame our healthy choices in negative ways.

“I need to lose weight round my middle.”

“I hate how my arms look in sleeveless dresses.”

“I wish I could stop eating so much junk food.”

This kind of self-talk breaks my heart. It adds to the countless ways women often blame, criticise and find fault with ourselves. What’s more, it often does very little to motivate us to make change.

After all, who’d want to show up for an exercise class with a sharp-tongued drill sergeant, constantly pointing out your perceived faults and shortcomings? (OK, I know the brutal bootcamp thing works for some people – but most of us could do with a bit more support, right?)

How to motivate yourself without criticism

So, when Karen reached out for help finding ‘towards’ motivation when it came to her health she was absolutely on the right track.

As always happens, when someone in our tribe reaches out for help, the women around her rally.

And the responses to this question were brilliant examples of the different ways we each find our own ways to thrive.

Here are 5 that might help you. As you read through each one, think about how this might apply to you right now, today, or this week. How could they support you to feel great about making positive choices when it comes to your health?

1. Focus on the present – not the future

It’s easy to get hung up on future outcomes when it comes to things like doing exercise or eating healthily. But what about how good they feel in the present? Enjoying delicious food, having fun playing frisbee in the park or letting yourself relax into a yoga class – these moments can be their own reward. The clear-headed feeling you get after going out for a brisk walk or the emotional release of a high-energy workout are worth savouring in themselves.

What activities leave you feeling great? How can you build more of them into your life?

2. When you’re healthy, you can give your best

If you’re a leader aiming to make a difference, you’ll be at your most effective when you’re feeling physically fit. That might mean balancing your mood to enable you to lead your team through challenges; making sure you’re really able to make the most of your time; or just having the energy to approach your mission with a positive mindset.

What’s the contribution only you can make, and how will being in full health support that?

3. Taking care of your body is a form of gratitude

However badly we treat our bodies, or unkindly we think about them, they are astonishing, complex, beautiful systems. Every day of your life your heart’s been pumping blood around your body. Your brain’s been absorbing and processing information. Your digestive system has been turning food into incredible cellular chemistry, giving you the energy to keep going; your organs have been processing and integrating a vast array of processes.

How can you show your incredible body how much you value and appreciate it?

4. Living longer means more fun, impact, fulfillment…

Staying healthy is more likely to result in a longer, happier life. If you have kids, they’re often a strong motivator. Who doesn’t want to get to know the amazing grownups we’re helping to emerge? Then there are the sunsets to watch, changes to witness, projects to bring to fruition… not to mention gorgeous dinners, earth-shattering orgasms, fascinating conversations…

What do you want to experience more of in the years to come? How can your choices today contribute to even more of them?

5. Enjoy the benefits of good health

When we focus on things like ‘losing weight’ or ‘looking better’ we often miss out on the real tangible experience of good health. Things like feeling grace and ease when you do things; the sense of confidence and vitality that comes when you’re on top form, or knowing that you’re nourishing and taking care of yourself. These things have nothing to do with your physical ability, the numbers on a scale, or what you see on the outside.

What does true health and vitality mean for you? How does it feel, and what does it allow you to do?

Thriving women make powerful leaders

Supporting women to feel true vitality is an important part of how we equip female leaders to make a difference. If you’d like to have a chat to one of our team about the kind of support we offer, click here to arrange a time to talk.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

post

Guest Post: 5 Pelvic Floor Myths – Revealed

By

Joanna Martin

Joanna Martin

Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

This is a guest post by Wendy Powell.

I want to get real about all things pelvic floor and clear up some of the myths you may have heard about these muscles. When it comes to women’s health, especially pelvic health, there’s a lot of myths that need busting. I want to help you to get informed and arm you with the facts, so you can feel in control and empowered. Here are 5 pelvic floor myths we commonly hear from the women around us – and the truth behind them.

What is your pelvic floor?

Good question! Here’s a quick rundown in case you’re not 100% clear on what we mean when we talk about your pelvic floor.

Your pelvic floor is responsible for holding your pelvic organs in place. It’s made up of the muscles, ligaments and tissues that support your Bladder Uterus and your Bowel and the three openings – Your urethra, vagina and anus.

There are a lot of misconceptions and myths that go around about taking care of your pelvic floor, and some of the symptoms and challenges that can be associated with it. Read on to find out the truth about this much-misunderstood area of the body…

Here are the 5 pelvic floor myths about to get BUSTED!

MYTH 1 – Leaking is just something that just comes with age.

Nope! Leaking is not something you have to just accept as you age. There is no reason why you cannot have a strong and functional pelvic floor, whatever your age.

(And yes, even if you’ve had children…)

MYTH 2 – It’s okay to wee a little bit when I sneeze or laugh.

Total myth! And one that’s being pushed on the regular by big corporations, selling incontinence products. The messaging around incontinence is all wrong. It’s never okay to just mask the problem with a pad. Pads serve a purpose in the short term, but the “oops moment” messaging isn’t helpful to women or conducive to an effective recovery. It’s spreading the belief that leaking is inevitable and something, as women, that we have to put up with and keep quiet about.

You don’t need to be discreet about it, there is help for you and opening up conversations about it helps in spreading the message and destroying the taboo! If you are weeing a little or a lot when you shouldn’t be, you can see a Women’s Health Physio or find out more about what you can do below.

MYTH 3 – Pain during sex is normal.

Okay. Let’s get one thing straight here. Pain-free intercourse is the VERY LEAST you should expect from your sex life. Your enjoyment and comfort are important. You deserve to feel like a goddess, pain-free, with all the orgasms!

Painful sex can be a result of a hypertonic (too tight) pelvic floor. Focusing on engaging and releasing your pelvic floor correctly will help, and seeking a referral to a Women’s Health Physiotherapist should be next on your to-do list.

MYTH 4 – A few Kegels will cure all my pelvic floor issues.

Kegels and other traditional pelvic floor exercises, involving squeezing, are an important starting point but sometimes they may not be enough, or you may not be performing them correctly.

There is a really important relaxation phase that’s often missing along with postural and alignment adjustments. Watch my free 6 minute pelvic floor workout to help you master this.

MYTH 5 – If I ignore this, it’ll go away.

Something that starts as a little leak can often lead to something more serious, like prolapse or hernia. It’s important to address any symptoms you have, sooner rather than later. You can and will get a more functional pelvic floor with effective exercises designed to reconnect with and strengthen those muscles.

Every woman deserves a body that works. A functional body means you can do you whatever you were put on this earth to do, in the best way possible.

Learn how to stop leaks and strengthen your pelvic floor with a step by step guide and video here.

About Wendy

Wendy is a globally recognised leading voice on women’s health and wellness, bringing education and awareness about physiological and emotional postpartum issues to a wider audience. She is Founder and CEO of world best selling postpartum recovery program, MUTU System, and accredited education provider, MUTU Pro. She works alongside pelvic health specialists around the world including Physiotherapists, Physical Therapists and sex therapists, as well as NHS Trusts and hospital Physio departments to offer a trusted and credible resources on postpartum health.

After a decade as an in-demand certified pregnancy and postpartum specialist personal trainer in London, Wendy created and launched the first MUTU System online training program in 2010. Since then the global brand and community has grown and flourished, offering expertise and support to women who want to heal their core and pelvic floor and get strong, fit and confident. The highly engaged, body positive and supportive MUTU Mama online community offers women a trusted, safe space of education and empowerment.

post

Guest blog: Your most intimate relationship (it’s not what you think)

By

Almira Ross

Almira Ross

Dr Almira Ross is one of our Certified Women’s Coaches, and is an in-house coach on our Lead the Change and Be Powerful Programmes.
Almira Ross

Latest posts by Almira Ross (see all)

This article is by Almira Ross, one of our Certified Coaches and part of the coaching team on our the Lead the Change and BePowerful Programmes.

Your most intimate relationship probably isn’t with your partner, your kids or your family. These days, they often take distant second place to a much more intriguing, exciting and stimulating relationship. One we can enjoy any time of day, anywhere we happen to be, whatever we happen to be doing, no matter who we may be with. It’s all so easy, so comfortable, so inviting, so safe. Or so we think.

Your smartphone is your new BFF – Best Friend Forever

It might sound like a shocking statement, but take a minute to think about it. Your phone is your constant companion, with you pretty much 24/7: always on, always engaging, always demanding your attention. The smartphone has opened up a world that is irresistible. Where else can you

• Run your business,
• Work wherever you happen to be,
• Explore your neighbourhood,
• Shop to your heart’s content,
• Answer emails,
• Check the weather,
• Have a video chat with friends and family halfway around the world,
• Watch a cute video, or
• Take a photo of your meal and share it with everyone you know?

All at the swipe of a finger. Without having to leave the sofa. Or your desk. Or your seat at the restaurant.

You wake with it; quick to check your messages and email; carry it with you everywhere you go.

Maybe you even take it to bed with you to monitor the quality of your sleep.

Technology has advanced dramatically in the past 10 years. It’s only 12 years since Steve Jobs announced the first iPhone, yet this technology has rapidly become so much a part of our daily lives, we simply can’t live without it. For many, that dependency is now bordering on addiction, a worrying trend.

You don’t need to look far to see signs of it

I’m sitting at a posh restaurant in London. Fresh linen table cloth, silver service, a beautiful single yellow rose on the table, soothing atmosphere.

My husband, Michael, and I were having a deliciously romantic evening. As we sat sipping our before dinner drinks and sharing our lives from the day, I looked over at a younger couple at a table opposite us.

Like us, they had been seated opposite one another at their table. Their meal had already been served. Instead of enjoying it, each of them had their noses in their smartphones, thumbs flashing rapidly as they busily texted or posted on social media. Oblivious to one another and to everything around them.

Travelling into central London on the tube yesterday, I noticed that easily 9 out of every 10 passengers in my crowded carriage were having a love affair with their mobiles. It’s so easy, so convenient, so natural. And so addictive.

Your phone does make your life better and easier in so many ways. But at what cost to you and your loved ones? And what can you do about your own phone usage and that of your family, if technology has taken over your lives?

What does your screen time cost you?

When you spend so much time on your phone, connected to your online world, you can easily disconnect from those people who are nearest and dearest to you, and they from you.

You’re physically together, yet miles apart in your own separate worlds. Even if you are aware of this distance, it can be really hard to wean yourself and your family off their devices. Your technology and the world this opens up to you is sooooo irresistible.

When we step into the online world of cyberspace from our living room, our office or on the daily commute, we think this world is the same as the real world we’re sitting in. It isn’t.

It’s much more interactive and stimulating. We can go anywhere, explore whatever takes our fancy, and lose track of time (time we often class as wasted…)

Online, we can be different people

Research has revealed some fascinating (and scary!) trends in our behaviour online. We think we behave there as we do in the real world, but often we don’t.

We act ‘drunk’ – becoming less inhibited, more adventurous and willing to take risks.

In cyberspace, no one’s in charge; we can be anonymous or take on whatever persona we fancy; there’s a distance, a separation, between us and those we connect with.

With that distance and anonymity and without any perceived authority, we let go of inhibitions — a condition psychologists refer to as disinhibition.

We feel it’s safer than the real world and that connecting with people here somehow carries fewer risks. It isn’t and it doesn’t. If anything, it’s a far riskier place.

Problem behaviours can become bigger online. If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of a flaming email, aggressive texts or offensive posts, you’ll know how distressing this can be. And how quickly that behaviour can escalate. Behaviours that are socially unacceptable in our ‘real world’ can find a home and become normal in cyberspace. Porn, right and left wing extremists, self-harm, and unusual fetishes all have a home online. You find your tribe, and the behaviour is no longer ostracised; it’s celebrated.

This is especially worrying for children and teens, who often access adult material without either the emotional or mental maturity to handle it.

It’s so enticing, it’s addictive. In fact, this is a growing problem for adults, too.

So what can we do?

Technology per se is neither good nor bad. It’s a tool, one I’m passionate we women master so that we can lead the change we want to see in this world. Master that technology; not be its servant.

1. Mastery begins with awareness

Just how much time do you spend on your phone? The answer might surprise you. It certainly did me, when I set up the Moments app on my phone (iOS and Android) to check my own phone usage. I was shocked to discover I was spending over twice as much time as I thought.

Moments keeps track of the number of times and the length of time you spend on your phone. The beauty of this app is that you can set limits for yourself, and your family. It’s the first step towards understanding your phone use. And then making changes.

2. Get unplugged.

Agree boundaries around screen time for yourself and your family. Tech leaders like Steve Jobs and Bill Gates really restricted their children’s use of technology. The same is true for many other parents whose primary role is technology based. We understand the dangers.

Even a rule like no devices at the dinner table, or in the last 2 hours before bed can make a huge difference to your relationships — and your health. Reducing screen time limits the impact of electromagnetic radiation (EMR) on your body.

3. Enjoy your phone – consciously

And indeed all the powerful digital technology that’s available to us today. Explore the wonderful world it opens up for you, to learn and grow, to reach thousands of people around the world with your message and make your difference in this world.

Just treat it like the useful tool it is. Master it with discernment and it will serve you well.

Dr Almira Ross is one of our Certified Women’s Coaches, and is an in-house coach on our Lead the Change and Be Powerful Programmes.

To find out more about  Almira, click here. Or for a taste of her work, click here to visit her website.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

post

Guest blog: What does perimenopause feel like?

By

Nicki Williams

Nicki Williams

Nicki Williams is a qualified Nutritional Therapist, author, speaker and founder of Happy Hormones for Life, helping women to get back to their absolute best – slimmer, energized, more productive and in full control of their hormones!
Nicki Williams

Latest posts by Nicki Williams (see all)

There’s so much attention (deservedly) on the menopause right now, which is great news for all women needing support. But menopause is still regarded as something that happens in your fifties, and you may not realise that you are actually in the middle of ‘peri-menopause’. So what does peri-menopause feel like, and how do you know when you’re in it?

Read on to find out what you need to know.

What is peri-menopause?

The peri-menopause is regarded as the transition between your reproductive years and post-menopause, which officially happens a year after your final period.

Symptoms can include fatigue, mood swings, irregular or heavy/painful periods, brain fog, poor sleep, weight gain, hot flushes, night sweats, depression, anxiety, hair-loss, joint pain, low libido, vaginal dryness…..and the list goes on!

Are you in it?

If you’re over 35 and you have symptoms (and periods), then yes! Many Doctors will tell you you’re too young.  Or you may get your FSH or LH levels tested. But all those results will tell you is that the brain is pumping out a constant message for hormones to be produced because you are under-producing.

That’s the nature of peri-menopause – that test is just telling you what you already know!  It’s much more useful to get your actual hormones measured.

What are the drivers of peri-menopause?

  • Age! After 35 your eggs are starting to run out, and ovulation can be more erratic. This affects the production of oestrogen and progesterone. Both hormones are starting a long slow decline towards final menopause, but on the way they can fluctuate wildly, and this can feel like a mood swing roller coaster!
  • Stress– any kind of stress on the body can be a major disruptor to your peri-menopause journey. Cortisol can not only have an impact on your energy, mood, brain function and metabolism, but it can also suppress your thyroid and sex hormones, making your symptoms even worse.
  • Thyroid – the impact of stress, a poor diet, gut health or environmental toxins can take a toll on your thyroid hormones and crash your metabolism, leaving you exhausted, sluggish, foggy and achey. And that extra weight isn’t going anywhere soon.
  • Diet – your hormones need a whole load of different nutrients from your diet to work properly. If you’re not packing in the protein, healthy fats and tons of veggies, then you’re likely going to be missing a few. And if you’re eating too many carbs or you’re stressed out, then you might be on the blood sugar roller coaster, increasing your insulin and messing with your other hormones.
  • Toxins – Endocrine Disrupting Chemicals (EDC’s) can mimic or alter hormones, especially oestrogen, and impair mitochondrial function (your energy battery cells).
  • Medications– certain medications can disrupt your hormones, including the Birth Control Pill, HRT, steroids and anti depressants
  • Liver overload – if the liver is struggling to process and eliminate toxins, alcohol, caffeine or drugs, then hormone metabolism can be affected
  • Gut health– if your gut is not working optimally, certain hormones might not be metabolised or converted properly. Inflammation in the gut caused by food sensitivities or underlying infections can also spread to the neighbouring areas and disrupt hormone function.

What you can do

Obviously there are medical options – Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) or other medications are often used to treat symptoms.

However, if you don’t want to take HRT, or can’t take it for any reason, or even if you are taking it, implementing the right diet and lifestyle foundations is going to be beneficial not just for your hormones but for your future health.

Here are 7 steps you can take to support yourself to thrive through peri-menopause, whether or not you choose to use HRT.

1. Diet

Balancing blood sugar is a priority as it helps to sustain energy levels, balance moods, improve cognitive function and lose excess weight.

2. Include phytoestrogens

Making sure you have plenty of phytoestrogens in the diet (eg flaxseeds and fermented soy) can help to balance oestrogen levels and reduce incidences of hot flushes and night sweats. Ensuring enough protein, healthy fats and phytonutrients are in the diet to support thyroid and cellular health is very important.

3. Support gut and liver

Cruciferous vegetables help to support your liver detoxification pathways and oestrogen clearance. Hydration helps to keep the bowels moving, while reducing alcohol and caffeine can support the liver and gut. Including probiotic foods (live yoghurt, sauerkraut, kefir, kombucha) can help to support the microbiome (your good bugs!) and digestive function.

4. Minimise exposure to EDC’s

Eat organic where possible to avoid pesticide exposure. Swap BPA plastics to glass or stainless steel. Avoid products containing phthalates (eg synthetic fragrance in personal and household products).

5. Activity

Increasing NEAT movement (Non-Exercise Activity Thermogenesis) helps to reduce sedentary behaviour and increase metabolism. Avoiding over-exercising is as important to not increase stress on the body.

6. De-stress and sleep

Managing stress through mindfulness or other relaxation techniques can have a huge impact on symptoms. Improving sleep quality through dietary changes, stress management techniques and sleep hygiene routines can be very helpful.

7. Get appropriate tests carried out

Whether through your doctor or privately, tests can be very helpful in identifying the root cause of any imbalance. We look at including thyroid, adrenals, sex hormones, blood sugar, gut health and key nutrients. If you’d like to discuss whether testing would benefit you, do contact us for a free Discovery Call.

About Nicki Williams

The chocolate, coffee and wine loving nutritionist!

Nicki Williams is a qualified Nutritional Therapist, author, speaker and founder of Happy Hormones for Life, helping women to get back to their absolute best – slimmer, energized, more productive and in full control of their hormones!

After failing to find any medical help for her symptoms of exhaustion, weight gain and hormone issues herself in her early 40’s, she discovered that she could turn things around using diet, lifestyle and natural supplements.

She went on to qualify as a nutritional therapist and hormone expert, and now helps women all over the world with her online programmes, workshops and individual and group coaching.

You check out more articles like this in the brand new Happy Hormones magazine.

post

A nifty trick for creating healthy habits

By

Wendy Harrington

Founder at One of many

Latest posts by Wendy Harrington (see all)

It was seriously cold. Think, minus 28 degrees Celsius. My eyelashes were frozen… my hair was frozen… and there, on the back of a sled, whizzing through the breathtaking Swedish scenery, I learned a really nifty trick when it comes to developing healthy habits.

From a husky, of all things.

Yup, my 2018 trip to Sweden with the Empress collective of female entrepreneurs certainly came with some unexpected results! And I want to share one of them with you today – because it might just make the difference when it comes to any healthy habits you’re planning to create.

What a husky has to teach you about habits

Just in case you’re not au fait with dog-sledding terminology (you mean that’s not one of the many strings to your bow?), here’s how it works.

The sled is made up of a team of dogs. To the untrained eye, it looks like they’re all pelting madly in the direction you want to be heading.

But, as in any effective team, every member plays a different role. There are some that are great for balancing the sled on turns and corners; others who provide the “muscle” that keeps the pace up and the momentum going.

And right at the front, are the “Lead Dogs”. These are the ones that caught my imagination – and I’m going to explain how they relate to you, I promise!

Lead dogs are great at listening to and responding to commands. They’re fearless, and motivated to keep bounding forward even when the going gets tough. In short, they’re the dogs which pull all the others behind them, keeping them on course.

And this is where your habits come in. You see, there are certain needs which I now think of as “lead needs”. They pull everything else behind them.

For me, a really key need is sleep. If I have a good night’s sleep, I’m more likely to meet all my other needs more effectively – drink enough water, do my morning pages, make a healthy breakfast… everything else follows on from there.

Why “lead needs” make a difference

In the words of Sarah Stokey, of Turning Heads Kennel in Alaska,

“Sled dogs with good attitudes see obstacles as challenges to overcome and they thrive in adversity. Great lead dogs do not back down when the going gets tough, rather that is when they shine the most!”

Your “Lead Needs” will operate in exactly the same way. When life gets full and challenges arise, embedding these key habits will help support you in every other area of your life.

So when you’ve figured out your “lead needs”, how do you build habits around them that will really stick?

Habits that stick

In his excellent book The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg calls these kinds of foundational needs “Touchstone habits”. They’re the habits which have a knock-on effect on multiple other areas of your life.

When it comes to getting these behaviours in place, he suggests a 3 step process:

  • Cue
  • Reward
  • Routine

Now in my experience, the “cue” part bears careful thinking about.

Research shows us that if we’ve thought through in really specific detail exactly what we’ll do when it comes to a desired behaviour, we’re much more likely to follow it through.

Thinking through the real-life scenario of what you’ll do as part of your new habit can also help you identify the little tweaks that will allow you to craft a truly effective trigger for what you want to do.

Creating an effective trigger

Let me give you an example. A while back I had a goal to drink more water. I came up with a great cue – every time I took a loo break, I’d have a drink of water. The more hydrated I am, the more I need to go, so it’s a virtuous circle, right?

Only, when I thought through the actual step-by-step of how that would work, I realised that something often stopped me. I didn’t want to go into the kitchen when Rosie, my little girl, was playing – it would disrupt my work time and distract her from her activities too.

So my game-changing action was to leave a jug of water in the hallway, so I didn’t need to go into the kitchen. That made the cue I’d chosen really effective.

Maybe for you you’d love to get to bed earlier.

You think through what needs to happen – and realise that when it doesn’t it’s usually because you’ve been on your phone, scrolling through social media and falling down those “internet rabbit holes” that suck us in.

The solution might be to set an alarm on your phone for an hour before bedtime and at that point, literally switch off the wi-fi router. That’s a powerful trigger for your bedtime routine, with a reward of a lovely herbal tea in your favourite mug, to help you drift off.

So here’s my suggestion if you’d like to implement a new habit:

1. Identify your Lead Need

(It might be a Touchstone like exercise, which research shows has several beneficial effects or something you know makes a huge difference to you personally.)

2. Think through the actions you’ll need to take

Include what blocks or challenges you can head off before they stop you

3. Pick your trigger and set yourself up to succeed

Make sure you choose a lovely reward – it doesn’t need to cost money or be complicated – to celebrate your new habit!

I’d love to know how this works out! Let me know in the comments, and share your healthy habits with others.

Not sure what your lead would be?

If you know you’d love to feel healthier and more energised, but aren’t sure where to begin, you might be interested in joining us for BeVital – a 2-day retreat where you’re guided through an in-depth look at how you can bring more vitality into your life. It’s definitely not a bootcamp, a diet or an exercise regime – more a gentle, supportive transformational process designed to give you back control.

For more info, click here to arrange a call with the team and find out all the details.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

post

Exhausted for no apparent reason? Here’s how to recover

By

Wendy Harrington

Founder at One of many

Latest posts by Wendy Harrington (see all)

A couple of years ago I was so tired that trying to decide whether to just collapse into bed, or have a bath first, was enough to leave me utterly stuck. OK, in my case there were pretty clear reasons for me to have got to that state: I was 26 weeks pregnant, anaemic, and I’d just completed 2 events practically back to back – one of which had required to me to be onstage for 3 days straight. But whether you’ve been in Superwoman mode like I was, or if you’re exhausted for no apparent reason, when the going gets tough the wise woman takes heed.

We all know what it’s like to be tired from time to time, or to reach the point of exhaustion after an especially draining period. If you’ve been getting a big project at work off the ground; are breastfeeding a newborn or have been pushing it for some other reason, you probably anticipate needing to replenish for a while. But if you’re feeling exhausted for no apparent reason and just can’t seem to stop feeling tired, it’s definitely time to take stock.

Here are 5 signs you’ve got a point of exhaustion, and 5 emergency steps to take right away – before you find yourself at burnout.

5 signs you’re exhausted

Overdoing it is one thing. But if you’re in a chronic state of stress, overstimulation and over performance – and you’ve been in that mode for a few months or even a few years – it can be harder to recognise the signs.

Here are 5 things to watch out for.

1. You’re tired… all the time.

No matter what you eat or how much you sleep, you’re still tired. Ironically, this can actually make it even harder to get to sleep or experience quality rest when we do finally drop off. It’s a sign your system’s running on adrenaline (quite probably reinforced with caffeine) which can leave your nervous system actually unable to calm down enough for you to get the rest you crave. It can also show up as oversleeping which still doesn’t seem to cure your tiredness.

2. Procrastination or lack of motivation.

If you’re an overachiever, you’ll know this as the time when you really start to be hard on yourself for not performing. Similar signs include decreased executive functioning: reduced productivity, reduced performance, forgetfulness, and a general sense of mental fogginess.

If you find yourself berating yourself for messing up or dropping the ball, take a moment to consider if any of these other signs are present. Could you be suffering from exhaustion?

3. Escapism

This is a symptom I’ve lovingly nicknamed the “Netflix sign”. It’s when you know there are things you could do that would probably help how you’re feeling — like going to bed, for one — but instead you stay on the couch and fire up another episode of whatever series you’re into. Or lie in bed scrolling through Instagram or checking Facebook.

These kinds of behaviours tend to arise because we’re trying to avoid a feeling of overwhelm, and they often go hand in hand with other “bad habits” like drinking too much alcohol, smoking, or reaching for the sugary snacks.

4. Detaching.

When we’re tired, many of us find ourselves tending to detach from others – for me it’s accompanied by a feeling of “I just can’t be bothered talking to anyone”. I’ll stop ringing my family, not want to talk to my husband when the kids have gone to bed and find myself avoiding communication with friends. Ironically, it’s when I’m most likely to need the support of those who love me that I withdraw most; can you relate?

5. Trying to control/fix things.

This is the flipside of the tendency to detach or withdraw – some of the women I’ve coached have shared that the opposite is true. When they’re exhausted they find themselves going into “fixing” mode, in an effort to control the people around them.

Suddenly driven to distraction by your colleague’s disorganization or your partner’s refusal to address their family strife? Check in with yourself first – is this a distraction from your own exhaustion?

What are your early warning signs?

This list is by no means exhaustive, if you’ll pardon the pun. We all have unique patterns and behaviours that come up when things have got on top of us. Take a few minutes to think about times when you’ve been at a point of exhaustion – or to be honest abut how things are right now.

If you’ve got an exhaustion sign that’s not on this list, chances are someone else will share it too. Share it in the comments below, so we can help each other spot the warning signs together.

How bad is it?

Are you reading through the list above thinking you’ve got every single one of those signs going on in your life – and more? Then it’s time to take action, because you might well be very close to – or already – burned out. If that’s the case, reach out and let us know. Click this link to book a call with the team. Burnout needs dealing with, and we have some of the best support out there for women who’ve reached that point – and if we can’t help, we can signpost you to somewhere that can.

If you’re not in crisis, and know you need to turn things around before you get to that point, here are 5 steps to take.

5 steps to get you out of exhaustion

These steps are simple, because we’re dealing with exhaustion. That’s the point where it actually becomes really hard to make plans for how you’re going to replenish yourself and get back on top of things, because you’re simply not functioning.

So, these 5 steps are designed to get you out of exhaustion and back to a more resourceful place from which you can start to see a real difference.

1. Reach out

One of the most important skills we need to foster is the ability to lean in to the support we need – from each other. Ask for help, in whatever form you need. In my case, it was literally asking a friend to come round and tell me: do I need to have a bath now or just go to sleep?

Maybe you need someone to babysit so you can go to bed at 7pm, or to do your grocery shopping, or lend you their spare room for a night whilst promising not to tell you the wifi password.

Don’t know who you’d call? Our BeOne community is the online space where women around the world gather to find community and support. Click here to join us.

2. Sleep.

Of course you need sleep, you’re exhausted. But when you’re past the point of clear thinking, it can be easy to underestimate just how powerful this is. Turn off the TV, put your phone on airplane mode, and get to bed early. Like, 7pm early. It’s time to get serious about catching up on sleep.

If you’re having trouble sleeping, work through some of the other steps first – or try some simple steps to help you unwind like avoiding screens or taking gentle exercise.

3. Rehydrate.

This is a less obvious one, but it can make a real difference becauseone of the first things we forget to do when we’re knackered is drink enough fluid. Rehydrate quickly by mixing up a jug of a mix of 1 part juice, 4 parts water, and a couple of pinches of salt.

Rehydrating the brain dramatically helps your executive function – and when you’re thinking more clearly you’ll take exponentially better care of yourself as you get back to a place of replenishment.

4. Nourish.

Yup, we’re going right back to basics. If you’ve been grazing on chocolate or eating out of the work vending machine, it’s time to get some decent nutrients inside you and eat a good square meal. Get your body filled up and make sure you have the energy you need to replenish physically.

5. Get physical

Finally, do something to take care of your physical body. A massage, a sauna, a long bath… something to take care of your physical body will make an enormous difference to your exhaustion. It doesn’t have to be expensive and it definitely isn’t a luxury – it’s an essential if you’ve found yourself at rock bottom.

Taking these 5 simple steps will give you the best possible chance of replenishing yourself to a stage where you can start thinking about a longer term strategy to get out of this state for god. Put them somewhere where you can see them in case of emergency – and pass them on to anyone in your life who needs them.

Need to get back on track?

When you’ve dealt with a crisis of exhaustion, it’s time to look at longer term ways to avoid reaching that limit. That might include reducing stress, asking for regular support from people around you and getting really clear on what you need in order to maintain your energy and wellbeing.

If you’re a member of our BeOne Community, check out Soft PowerCast 52 for an audio session all about how to deal with exhaustion. And if you’re not yet a member, click here to join – it’s free and this and a whole bunch of other resources are free when you do.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

post

How worry works

By

Wendy Harrington

Founder at One of many

Latest posts by Wendy Harrington (see all)

Most of us know what worry feels like. But when it comes to how worry works – and what we can do to overcome it – the answers are less clear.

Worry is something that’s familiar to lots of women, and research reveals just how much more of an issue it is for us than men: A Cambridge University study in 2016 showed that women are twice as likely to experience anxiety than men.

Angela Ceberano runs her own successful PR company, and has achieved professional goals others told her were impossible. But behind the scenes, worry has been a big part of her life. In her May 2015 TedX talk she confessed:

“If I had nothing to worry about, I’d worry about that.”

If you don’t know how to deal with your worry it can start to have a real impact on your life. But when you understand how worry works, you can take steps to reduce it and even turn it into a positive force for change. Here’s how.

How worry works

The way each of us experiences worry is very different. For some women it’s lying awake at night wondering what’s going to bite you in the inbox in the morning. Or it might look like running over upcoming conversations, worrying how another person will react, or feeling stressed about how a particular situation will turn out.

It’s normal to be worried about danger, times when we’re trying something new, or situations which have an element of risk. You might find yourself feeling nervous before a big presentation at work, or worrying about how your child will settle into a new school. These kinds of worries serve to prepare us in times when we might be called upon to respond to a perceived threat.

From an evolutionary standpoint, worrying about being eaten by a cave lion or whether we had enough food saved for a long winter would have been a really helpful trait, if it meant we took appropriate action.

When worry gets out of hand

Worry starts to become more of a problem when it loses its connection to actions we can take to prevent it, and starts to become a regular or even constant presence in our lives.

When worry begins to incorporate a physical element, it can become anxiety, a more significant issue that can be behind a number of physical symptoms, from insomnia to fatigue and difficulty concentrating.

If you feel like anxiety’s starting to be a more serious presence in your life, don’t wait to get appropriate help. Talk to your GP or an occupational health professional if your worries are focused on work, and they’ll be able to support you with the help you need.

Listen to your worries

Trying to ignore worry can trigger behaviours we know aren’t healthy. That mid-afternoon urge for the sweet treat you promised yourself you’d give up, or the glass of wine after work that turns into two… or three.

So ignoring worry doesn’t help. It’s there because something in your life is demanding your attention.

What might your worries be telling you?

The first step is to become aware of what’s going on. If worry’s starting to rear its head, try and identify what’s causing it. Here are three examples of common reasons you might be feeling worried:

  1. Are you doing something brave, and stretching your comfort zone? Is the worry a form of excitement that will pass when you’ve completed whatever it is that’s causing worry?
  2. Is there a specific scenario you’re worried about – like missing a travel connection or messing up a vital task?
  3. Is the worry becoming something that’s a part of your life more generally – so that whatever’s going on, you’ve always got a feeling of worry?

Next, think about what action you can take.

If you’re taking a courageous step, can you reframe your worry as excitement? Remind yourself of all the lessons you’re learning and how this experience will help you grow and reach your goals?

If your worries are centred around a specific event or task, perhaps it’s time to think about what extra support you can offer yourself. Coming up with a “Plan B” can help put your mind at rest, or perhaps you’re worry is prompting you to ask for a bit of extra support. Perhaps a colleague could help you rehearse a presentation, or your partner could drop you off at the station in time to make an earlier train.

If worry’s become more of a constant presence in your life, it might be time to look holistically at how you can get back to a place of thriving. Exercise, meditation, mindfulness and therapies like massage can all help you unwind and find healthy ways to process stress and tension.

For Angela Ceberano, learning to understand her worries transformed her approach to ife. She started to use her worries as a way to pinpoint things she’d like to do, building her resilience as she did so. The result? In her words,

“The way that I view my anxiety has changed. I now view my fears, my worries, and my anxiety as a good thing and I use it to my advantage.”

Need a helping hand?

Life’s Little Toolkit is our handy collection of the best-loved resources as chosen by our community – and how to stop worrying is one of them. If you’re not sure if you’re worrying too much, or know you could do with a way to break free of the worry cycle, you’ll find everything you need to move forward from a handy quiz to a downloadable audio to help you get back on top of things.

Click here to download your free copy.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.