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Guest Post: 5 Pelvic Floor Myths – Revealed

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

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This is a guest post by Wendy Powell.

I want to get real about all things pelvic floor and clear up some of the myths you may have heard about these muscles. When it comes to women’s health, especially pelvic health, there’s a lot of myths that need busting. I want to help you to get informed and arm you with the facts, so you can feel in control and empowered. Here are 5 pelvic floor myths we commonly hear from the women around us – and the truth behind them.

What is your pelvic floor?

Good question! Here’s a quick rundown in case you’re not 100% clear on what we mean when we talk about your pelvic floor.

Your pelvic floor is responsible for holding your pelvic organs in place. It’s made up of the muscles, ligaments and tissues that support your Bladder Uterus and your Bowel and the three openings – Your urethra, vagina and anus.

There are a lot of misconceptions and myths that go around about taking care of your pelvic floor, and some of the symptoms and challenges that can be associated with it. Read on to find out the truth about this much-misunderstood area of the body…

Here are the 5 pelvic floor myths about to get BUSTED!

MYTH 1 – Leaking is just something that just comes with age.

Nope! Leaking is not something you have to just accept as you age. There is no reason why you cannot have a strong and functional pelvic floor, whatever your age.

(And yes, even if you’ve had children…)

MYTH 2 – It’s okay to wee a little bit when I sneeze or laugh.

Total myth! And one that’s being pushed on the regular by big corporations, selling incontinence products. The messaging around incontinence is all wrong. It’s never okay to just mask the problem with a pad. Pads serve a purpose in the short term, but the “oops moment” messaging isn’t helpful to women or conducive to an effective recovery. It’s spreading the belief that leaking is inevitable and something, as women, that we have to put up with and keep quiet about.

You don’t need to be discreet about it, there is help for you and opening up conversations about it helps in spreading the message and destroying the taboo! If you are weeing a little or a lot when you shouldn’t be, you can see a Women’s Health Physio or find out more about what you can do below.

MYTH 3 – Pain during sex is normal.

Okay. Let’s get one thing straight here. Pain-free intercourse is the VERY LEAST you should expect from your sex life. Your enjoyment and comfort are important. You deserve to feel like a goddess, pain-free, with all the orgasms!

Painful sex can be a result of a hypertonic (too tight) pelvic floor. Focusing on engaging and releasing your pelvic floor correctly will help, and seeking a referral to a Women’s Health Physiotherapist should be next on your to-do list.

MYTH 4 – A few Kegels will cure all my pelvic floor issues.

Kegels and other traditional pelvic floor exercises, involving squeezing, are an important starting point but sometimes they may not be enough, or you may not be performing them correctly.

There is a really important relaxation phase that’s often missing along with postural and alignment adjustments. Watch my free 6 minute pelvic floor workout to help you master this.

MYTH 5 – If I ignore this, it’ll go away.

Something that starts as a little leak can often lead to something more serious, like prolapse or hernia. It’s important to address any symptoms you have, sooner rather than later. You can and will get a more functional pelvic floor with effective exercises designed to reconnect with and strengthen those muscles.

Every woman deserves a body that works. A functional body means you can do you whatever you were put on this earth to do, in the best way possible.

Learn how to stop leaks and strengthen your pelvic floor with a step by step guide and video here.

About Wendy

Wendy is a globally recognised leading voice on women’s health and wellness, bringing education and awareness about physiological and emotional postpartum issues to a wider audience. She is Founder and CEO of world best selling postpartum recovery program, MUTU System, and accredited education provider, MUTU Pro. She works alongside pelvic health specialists around the world including Physiotherapists, Physical Therapists and sex therapists, as well as NHS Trusts and hospital Physio departments to offer a trusted and credible resources on postpartum health.

After a decade as an in-demand certified pregnancy and postpartum specialist personal trainer in London, Wendy created and launched the first MUTU System online training program in 2010. Since then the global brand and community has grown and flourished, offering expertise and support to women who want to heal their core and pelvic floor and get strong, fit and confident. The highly engaged, body positive and supportive MUTU Mama online community offers women a trusted, safe space of education and empowerment.

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Guest blog: Your most intimate relationship (it’s not what you think)

By

Almira Ross

Almira Ross

Dr Almira Ross is one of our Certified Women’s Coaches, and is an in-house coach on our Lead the Change and Be Powerful Programmes.
Almira Ross

Latest posts by Almira Ross (see all)

This article is by Almira Ross, one of our Certified Coaches and part of the coaching team on our the Lead the Change and BePowerful Programmes.

Your most intimate relationship probably isn’t with your partner, your kids or your family. These days, they often take distant second place to a much more intriguing, exciting and stimulating relationship. One we can enjoy any time of day, anywhere we happen to be, whatever we happen to be doing, no matter who we may be with. It’s all so easy, so comfortable, so inviting, so safe. Or so we think.

Your smartphone is your new BFF – Best Friend Forever

It might sound like a shocking statement, but take a minute to think about it. Your phone is your constant companion, with you pretty much 24/7: always on, always engaging, always demanding your attention. The smartphone has opened up a world that is irresistible. Where else can you

• Run your business,
• Work wherever you happen to be,
• Explore your neighbourhood,
• Shop to your heart’s content,
• Answer emails,
• Check the weather,
• Have a video chat with friends and family halfway around the world,
• Watch a cute video, or
• Take a photo of your meal and share it with everyone you know?

All at the swipe of a finger. Without having to leave the sofa. Or your desk. Or your seat at the restaurant.

You wake with it; quick to check your messages and email; carry it with you everywhere you go.

Maybe you even take it to bed with you to monitor the quality of your sleep.

Technology has advanced dramatically in the past 10 years. It’s only 12 years since Steve Jobs announced the first iPhone, yet this technology has rapidly become so much a part of our daily lives, we simply can’t live without it. For many, that dependency is now bordering on addiction, a worrying trend.

You don’t need to look far to see signs of it

I’m sitting at a posh restaurant in London. Fresh linen table cloth, silver service, a beautiful single yellow rose on the table, soothing atmosphere.

My husband, Michael, and I were having a deliciously romantic evening. As we sat sipping our before dinner drinks and sharing our lives from the day, I looked over at a younger couple at a table opposite us.

Like us, they had been seated opposite one another at their table. Their meal had already been served. Instead of enjoying it, each of them had their noses in their smartphones, thumbs flashing rapidly as they busily texted or posted on social media. Oblivious to one another and to everything around them.

Travelling into central London on the tube yesterday, I noticed that easily 9 out of every 10 passengers in my crowded carriage were having a love affair with their mobiles. It’s so easy, so convenient, so natural. And so addictive.

Your phone does make your life better and easier in so many ways. But at what cost to you and your loved ones? And what can you do about your own phone usage and that of your family, if technology has taken over your lives?

What does your screen time cost you?

When you spend so much time on your phone, connected to your online world, you can easily disconnect from those people who are nearest and dearest to you, and they from you.

You’re physically together, yet miles apart in your own separate worlds. Even if you are aware of this distance, it can be really hard to wean yourself and your family off their devices. Your technology and the world this opens up to you is sooooo irresistible.

When we step into the online world of cyberspace from our living room, our office or on the daily commute, we think this world is the same as the real world we’re sitting in. It isn’t.

It’s much more interactive and stimulating. We can go anywhere, explore whatever takes our fancy, and lose track of time (time we often class as wasted…)

Online, we can be different people

Research has revealed some fascinating (and scary!) trends in our behaviour online. We think we behave there as we do in the real world, but often we don’t.

We act ‘drunk’ – becoming less inhibited, more adventurous and willing to take risks.

In cyberspace, no one’s in charge; we can be anonymous or take on whatever persona we fancy; there’s a distance, a separation, between us and those we connect with.

With that distance and anonymity and without any perceived authority, we let go of inhibitions — a condition psychologists refer to as disinhibition.

We feel it’s safer than the real world and that connecting with people here somehow carries fewer risks. It isn’t and it doesn’t. If anything, it’s a far riskier place.

Problem behaviours can become bigger online. If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of a flaming email, aggressive texts or offensive posts, you’ll know how distressing this can be. And how quickly that behaviour can escalate. Behaviours that are socially unacceptable in our ‘real world’ can find a home and become normal in cyberspace. Porn, right and left wing extremists, self-harm, and unusual fetishes all have a home online. You find your tribe, and the behaviour is no longer ostracised; it’s celebrated.

This is especially worrying for children and teens, who often access adult material without either the emotional or mental maturity to handle it.

It’s so enticing, it’s addictive. In fact, this is a growing problem for adults, too.

So what can we do?

Technology per se is neither good nor bad. It’s a tool, one I’m passionate we women master so that we can lead the change we want to see in this world. Master that technology; not be its servant.

1. Mastery begins with awareness

Just how much time do you spend on your phone? The answer might surprise you. It certainly did me, when I set up the Moments app on my phone (iOS and Android) to check my own phone usage. I was shocked to discover I was spending over twice as much time as I thought.

Moments keeps track of the number of times and the length of time you spend on your phone. The beauty of this app is that you can set limits for yourself, and your family. It’s the first step towards understanding your phone use. And then making changes.

2. Get unplugged.

Agree boundaries around screen time for yourself and your family. Tech leaders like Steve Jobs and Bill Gates really restricted their children’s use of technology. The same is true for many other parents whose primary role is technology based. We understand the dangers.

Even a rule like no devices at the dinner table, or in the last 2 hours before bed can make a huge difference to your relationships — and your health. Reducing screen time limits the impact of electromagnetic radiation (EMR) on your body.

3. Enjoy your phone – consciously

And indeed all the powerful digital technology that’s available to us today. Explore the wonderful world it opens up for you, to learn and grow, to reach thousands of people around the world with your message and make your difference in this world.

Just treat it like the useful tool it is. Master it with discernment and it will serve you well.

Dr Almira Ross is one of our Certified Women’s Coaches, and is an in-house coach on our Lead the Change and Be Powerful Programmes.

To find out more about  Almira, click here. Or for a taste of her work, click here to visit her website.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Guest blog: What does perimenopause feel like?

By

Nicki Williams

Nicki Williams

Nicki Williams is a qualified Nutritional Therapist, author, speaker and founder of Happy Hormones for Life, helping women to get back to their absolute best – slimmer, energized, more productive and in full control of their hormones!
Nicki Williams

Latest posts by Nicki Williams (see all)

There’s so much attention (deservedly) on the menopause right now, which is great news for all women needing support. But menopause is still regarded as something that happens in your fifties, and you may not realise that you are actually in the middle of ‘peri-menopause’. So what does peri-menopause feel like, and how do you know when you’re in it?

Read on to find out what you need to know.

What is peri-menopause?

The peri-menopause is regarded as the transition between your reproductive years and post-menopause, which officially happens a year after your final period.

Symptoms can include fatigue, mood swings, irregular or heavy/painful periods, brain fog, poor sleep, weight gain, hot flushes, night sweats, depression, anxiety, hair-loss, joint pain, low libido, vaginal dryness…..and the list goes on!

Are you in it?

If you’re over 35 and you have symptoms (and periods), then yes! Many Doctors will tell you you’re too young.  Or you may get your FSH or LH levels tested. But all those results will tell you is that the brain is pumping out a constant message for hormones to be produced because you are under-producing.

That’s the nature of peri-menopause – that test is just telling you what you already know!  It’s much more useful to get your actual hormones measured.

What are the drivers of peri-menopause?

  • Age! After 35 your eggs are starting to run out, and ovulation can be more erratic. This affects the production of oestrogen and progesterone. Both hormones are starting a long slow decline towards final menopause, but on the way they can fluctuate wildly, and this can feel like a mood swing roller coaster!
  • Stress– any kind of stress on the body can be a major disruptor to your peri-menopause journey. Cortisol can not only have an impact on your energy, mood, brain function and metabolism, but it can also suppress your thyroid and sex hormones, making your symptoms even worse.
  • Thyroid – the impact of stress, a poor diet, gut health or environmental toxins can take a toll on your thyroid hormones and crash your metabolism, leaving you exhausted, sluggish, foggy and achey. And that extra weight isn’t going anywhere soon.
  • Diet – your hormones need a whole load of different nutrients from your diet to work properly. If you’re not packing in the protein, healthy fats and tons of veggies, then you’re likely going to be missing a few. And if you’re eating too many carbs or you’re stressed out, then you might be on the blood sugar roller coaster, increasing your insulin and messing with your other hormones.
  • Toxins – Endocrine Disrupting Chemicals (EDC’s) can mimic or alter hormones, especially oestrogen, and impair mitochondrial function (your energy battery cells).
  • Medications– certain medications can disrupt your hormones, including the Birth Control Pill, HRT, steroids and anti depressants
  • Liver overload – if the liver is struggling to process and eliminate toxins, alcohol, caffeine or drugs, then hormone metabolism can be affected
  • Gut health– if your gut is not working optimally, certain hormones might not be metabolised or converted properly. Inflammation in the gut caused by food sensitivities or underlying infections can also spread to the neighbouring areas and disrupt hormone function.

What you can do

Obviously there are medical options – Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) or other medications are often used to treat symptoms.

However, if you don’t want to take HRT, or can’t take it for any reason, or even if you are taking it, implementing the right diet and lifestyle foundations is going to be beneficial not just for your hormones but for your future health.

Here are 7 steps you can take to support yourself to thrive through peri-menopause, whether or not you choose to use HRT.

1. Diet

Balancing blood sugar is a priority as it helps to sustain energy levels, balance moods, improve cognitive function and lose excess weight.

2. Include phytoestrogens

Making sure you have plenty of phytoestrogens in the diet (eg flaxseeds and fermented soy) can help to balance oestrogen levels and reduce incidences of hot flushes and night sweats. Ensuring enough protein, healthy fats and phytonutrients are in the diet to support thyroid and cellular health is very important.

3. Support gut and liver

Cruciferous vegetables help to support your liver detoxification pathways and oestrogen clearance. Hydration helps to keep the bowels moving, while reducing alcohol and caffeine can support the liver and gut. Including probiotic foods (live yoghurt, sauerkraut, kefir, kombucha) can help to support the microbiome (your good bugs!) and digestive function.

4. Minimise exposure to EDC’s

Eat organic where possible to avoid pesticide exposure. Swap BPA plastics to glass or stainless steel. Avoid products containing phthalates (eg synthetic fragrance in personal and household products).

5. Activity

Increasing NEAT movement (Non-Exercise Activity Thermogenesis) helps to reduce sedentary behaviour and increase metabolism. Avoiding over-exercising is as important to not increase stress on the body.

6. De-stress and sleep

Managing stress through mindfulness or other relaxation techniques can have a huge impact on symptoms. Improving sleep quality through dietary changes, stress management techniques and sleep hygiene routines can be very helpful.

7. Get appropriate tests carried out

Whether through your doctor or privately, tests can be very helpful in identifying the root cause of any imbalance. We look at including thyroid, adrenals, sex hormones, blood sugar, gut health and key nutrients. If you’d like to discuss whether testing would benefit you, do contact us for a free Discovery Call.

About Nicki Williams

The chocolate, coffee and wine loving nutritionist!

Nicki Williams is a qualified Nutritional Therapist, author, speaker and founder of Happy Hormones for Life, helping women to get back to their absolute best – slimmer, energized, more productive and in full control of their hormones!

After failing to find any medical help for her symptoms of exhaustion, weight gain and hormone issues herself in her early 40’s, she discovered that she could turn things around using diet, lifestyle and natural supplements.

She went on to qualify as a nutritional therapist and hormone expert, and now helps women all over the world with her online programmes, workshops and individual and group coaching.

You check out more articles like this in the brand new Happy Hormones magazine.

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A nifty trick for creating healthy habits

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

It was seriously cold. Think, minus 28 degrees Celsius. My eyelashes were frozen… my hair was frozen… and there, on the back of a sled, whizzing through the breathtaking Swedish scenery, I learned a really nifty trick when it comes to developing healthy habits.

From a husky, of all things.

Yup, my 2018 trip to Sweden with the Empress collective of female entrepreneurs certainly came with some unexpected results! And I want to share one of them with you today – because it might just make the difference when it comes to any healthy habits you’re planning to create.

What a husky has to teach you about habits

Just in case you’re not au fait with dog-sledding terminology (you mean that’s not one of the many strings to your bow?), here’s how it works.

The sled is made up of a team of dogs. To the untrained eye, it looks like they’re all pelting madly in the direction you want to be heading.

But, as in any effective team, every member plays a different role. There are some that are great for balancing the sled on turns and corners; others who provide the “muscle” that keeps the pace up and the momentum going.

And right at the front, are the “Lead Dogs”. These are the ones that caught my imagination – and I’m going to explain how they relate to you, I promise!

Lead dogs are great at listening to and responding to commands. They’re fearless, and motivated to keep bounding forward even when the going gets tough. In short, they’re the dogs which pull all the others behind them, keeping them on course.

And this is where your habits come in. You see, there are certain needs which I now think of as “lead needs”. They pull everything else behind them.

For me, a really key need is sleep. If I have a good night’s sleep, I’m more likely to meet all my other needs more effectively – drink enough water, do my morning pages, make a healthy breakfast… everything else follows on from there.

Why “lead needs” make a difference

In the words of Sarah Stokey, of Turning Heads Kennel in Alaska,

“Sled dogs with good attitudes see obstacles as challenges to overcome and they thrive in adversity. Great lead dogs do not back down when the going gets tough, rather that is when they shine the most!”

Your “Lead Needs” will operate in exactly the same way. When life gets full and challenges arise, embedding these key habits will help support you in every other area of your life.

So when you’ve figured out your “lead needs”, how do you build habits around them that will really stick?

Habits that stick

In his excellent book The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg calls these kinds of foundational needs “Touchstone habits”. They’re the habits which have a knock-on effect on multiple other areas of your life.

When it comes to getting these behaviours in place, he suggests a 3 step process:

  • Cue
  • Reward
  • Routine

Now in my experience, the “cue” part bears careful thinking about.

Research shows us that if we’ve thought through in really specific detail exactly what we’ll do when it comes to a desired behaviour, we’re much more likely to follow it through.

Thinking through the real-life scenario of what you’ll do as part of your new habit can also help you identify the little tweaks that will allow you to craft a truly effective trigger for what you want to do.

Creating an effective trigger

Let me give you an example. A while back I had a goal to drink more water. I came up with a great cue – every time I took a loo break, I’d have a drink of water. The more hydrated I am, the more I need to go, so it’s a virtuous circle, right?

Only, when I thought through the actual step-by-step of how that would work, I realised that something often stopped me. I didn’t want to go into the kitchen when Rosie, my little girl, was playing – it would disrupt my work time and distract her from her activities too.

So my game-changing action was to leave a jug of water in the hallway, so I didn’t need to go into the kitchen. That made the cue I’d chosen really effective.

Maybe for you you’d love to get to bed earlier.

You think through what needs to happen – and realise that when it doesn’t it’s usually because you’ve been on your phone, scrolling through social media and falling down those “internet rabbit holes” that suck us in.

The solution might be to set an alarm on your phone for an hour before bedtime and at that point, literally switch off the wi-fi router. That’s a powerful trigger for your bedtime routine, with a reward of a lovely herbal tea in your favourite mug, to help you drift off.

So here’s my suggestion if you’d like to implement a new habit:

1. Identify your Lead Need

(It might be a Touchstone like exercise, which research shows has several beneficial effects or something you know makes a huge difference to you personally.)

2. Think through the actions you’ll need to take

Include what blocks or challenges you can head off before they stop you

3. Pick your trigger and set yourself up to succeed

Make sure you choose a lovely reward – it doesn’t need to cost money or be complicated – to celebrate your new habit!

I’d love to know how this works out! Let me know in the comments, and share your healthy habits with others.

Not sure what your lead would be?

If you know you’d love to feel healthier and more energised, but aren’t sure where to begin, you might be interested in joining us for BeVital – a 2-day retreat where you’re guided through an in-depth look at how you can bring more vitality into your life. It’s definitely not a bootcamp, a diet or an exercise regime – more a gentle, supportive transformational process designed to give you back control.

For more info, click here to arrange a call with the team and find out all the details.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Exhausted for no apparent reason? Here’s how to recover

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

A couple of years ago I was so tired that trying to decide whether to just collapse into bed, or have a bath first, was enough to leave me utterly stuck. OK, in my case there were pretty clear reasons for me to have got to that state: I was 26 weeks pregnant, anaemic, and I’d just completed 2 events practically back to back – one of which had required to me to be onstage for 3 days straight. But whether you’ve been in Superwoman mode like I was, or if you’re exhausted for no apparent reason, when the going gets tough the wise woman takes heed.

We all know what it’s like to be tired from time to time, or to reach the point of exhaustion after an especially draining period. If you’ve been getting a big project at work off the ground; are breastfeeding a newborn or have been pushing it for some other reason, you probably anticipate needing to replenish for a while. But if you’re feeling exhausted for no apparent reason and just can’t seem to stop feeling tired, it’s definitely time to take stock.

Here are 5 signs you’ve got a point of exhaustion, and 5 emergency steps to take right away – before you find yourself at burnout.

5 signs you’re exhausted

Overdoing it is one thing. But if you’re in a chronic state of stress, overstimulation and over performance – and you’ve been in that mode for a few months or even a few years – it can be harder to recognise the signs.

Here are 5 things to watch out for.

1. You’re tired… all the time.

No matter what you eat or how much you sleep, you’re still tired. Ironically, this can actually make it even harder to get to sleep or experience quality rest when we do finally drop off. It’s a sign your system’s running on adrenaline (quite probably reinforced with caffeine) which can leave your nervous system actually unable to calm down enough for you to get the rest you crave. It can also show up as oversleeping which still doesn’t seem to cure your tiredness.

2. Procrastination or lack of motivation.

If you’re an overachiever, you’ll know this as the time when you really start to be hard on yourself for not performing. Similar signs include decreased executive functioning: reduced productivity, reduced performance, forgetfulness, and a general sense of mental fogginess.

If you find yourself berating yourself for messing up or dropping the ball, take a moment to consider if any of these other signs are present. Could you be suffering from exhaustion?

3. Escapism

This is a symptom I’ve lovingly nicknamed the “Netflix sign”. It’s when you know there are things you could do that would probably help how you’re feeling — like going to bed, for one — but instead you stay on the couch and fire up another episode of whatever series you’re into. Or lie in bed scrolling through Instagram or checking Facebook.

These kinds of behaviours tend to arise because we’re trying to avoid a feeling of overwhelm, and they often go hand in hand with other “bad habits” like drinking too much alcohol, smoking, or reaching for the sugary snacks.

4. Detaching.

When we’re tired, many of us find ourselves tending to detach from others – for me it’s accompanied by a feeling of “I just can’t be bothered talking to anyone”. I’ll stop ringing my family, not want to talk to my husband when the kids have gone to bed and find myself avoiding communication with friends. Ironically, it’s when I’m most likely to need the support of those who love me that I withdraw most; can you relate?

5. Trying to control/fix things.

This is the flipside of the tendency to detach or withdraw – some of the women I’ve coached have shared that the opposite is true. When they’re exhausted they find themselves going into “fixing” mode, in an effort to control the people around them.

Suddenly driven to distraction by your colleague’s disorganization or your partner’s refusal to address their family strife? Check in with yourself first – is this a distraction from your own exhaustion?

What are your early warning signs?

This list is by no means exhaustive, if you’ll pardon the pun. We all have unique patterns and behaviours that come up when things have got on top of us. Take a few minutes to think about times when you’ve been at a point of exhaustion – or to be honest abut how things are right now.

If you’ve got an exhaustion sign that’s not on this list, chances are someone else will share it too. Share it in the comments below, so we can help each other spot the warning signs together.

How bad is it?

Are you reading through the list above thinking you’ve got every single one of those signs going on in your life – and more? Then it’s time to take action, because you might well be very close to – or already – burned out. If that’s the case, reach out and let us know. Click this link to book a call with the team. Burnout needs dealing with, and we have some of the best support out there for women who’ve reached that point – and if we can’t help, we can signpost you to somewhere that can.

If you’re not in crisis, and know you need to turn things around before you get to that point, here are 5 steps to take.

5 steps to get you out of exhaustion

These steps are simple, because we’re dealing with exhaustion. That’s the point where it actually becomes really hard to make plans for how you’re going to replenish yourself and get back on top of things, because you’re simply not functioning.

So, these 5 steps are designed to get you out of exhaustion and back to a more resourceful place from which you can start to see a real difference.

1. Reach out

One of the most important skills we need to foster is the ability to lean in to the support we need – from each other. Ask for help, in whatever form you need. In my case, it was literally asking a friend to come round and tell me: do I need to have a bath now or just go to sleep?

Maybe you need someone to babysit so you can go to bed at 7pm, or to do your grocery shopping, or lend you their spare room for a night whilst promising not to tell you the wifi password.

Don’t know who you’d call? Our BeOne community is the online space where women around the world gather to find community and support. Click here to join us.

2. Sleep.

Of course you need sleep, you’re exhausted. But when you’re past the point of clear thinking, it can be easy to underestimate just how powerful this is. Turn off the TV, put your phone on airplane mode, and get to bed early. Like, 7pm early. It’s time to get serious about catching up on sleep.

If you’re having trouble sleeping, work through some of the other steps first – or try some simple steps to help you unwind like avoiding screens or taking gentle exercise.

3. Rehydrate.

This is a less obvious one, but it can make a real difference becauseone of the first things we forget to do when we’re knackered is drink enough fluid. Rehydrate quickly by mixing up a jug of a mix of 1 part juice, 4 parts water, and a couple of pinches of salt.

Rehydrating the brain dramatically helps your executive function – and when you’re thinking more clearly you’ll take exponentially better care of yourself as you get back to a place of replenishment.

4. Nourish.

Yup, we’re going right back to basics. If you’ve been grazing on chocolate or eating out of the work vending machine, it’s time to get some decent nutrients inside you and eat a good square meal. Get your body filled up and make sure you have the energy you need to replenish physically.

5. Get physical

Finally, do something to take care of your physical body. A massage, a sauna, a long bath… something to take care of your physical body will make an enormous difference to your exhaustion. It doesn’t have to be expensive and it definitely isn’t a luxury – it’s an essential if you’ve found yourself at rock bottom.

Taking these 5 simple steps will give you the best possible chance of replenishing yourself to a stage where you can start thinking about a longer term strategy to get out of this state for god. Put them somewhere where you can see them in case of emergency – and pass them on to anyone in your life who needs them.

Need to get back on track?

When you’ve dealt with a crisis of exhaustion, it’s time to look at longer term ways to avoid reaching that limit. That might include reducing stress, asking for regular support from people around you and getting really clear on what you need in order to maintain your energy and wellbeing.

If you’re a member of our BeOne Community, check out Soft PowerCast 52 for an audio session all about how to deal with exhaustion. And if you’re not yet a member, click here to join – it’s free and this and a whole bunch of other resources are free when you do.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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How worry works

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Most of us know what worry feels like. But when it comes to how worry works – and what we can do to overcome it – the answers are less clear.

Worry is something that’s familiar to lots of women, and research reveals just how much more of an issue it is for us than men: A Cambridge University study in 2016 showed that women are twice as likely to experience anxiety than men.

Angela Ceberano runs her own successful PR company, and has achieved professional goals others told her were impossible. But behind the scenes, worry has been a big part of her life. In her May 2015 TedX talk she confessed:

“If I had nothing to worry about, I’d worry about that.”

If you don’t know how to deal with your worry it can start to have a real impact on your life. But when you understand how worry works, you can take steps to reduce it and even turn it into a positive force for change. Here’s how.

How worry works

The way each of us experiences worry is very different. For some women it’s lying awake at night wondering what’s going to bite you in the inbox in the morning. Or it might look like running over upcoming conversations, worrying how another person will react, or feeling stressed about how a particular situation will turn out.

It’s normal to be worried about danger, times when we’re trying something new, or situations which have an element of risk. You might find yourself feeling nervous before a big presentation at work, or worrying about how your child will settle into a new school. These kinds of worries serve to prepare us in times when we might be called upon to respond to a perceived threat.

From an evolutionary standpoint, worrying about being eaten by a cave lion or whether we had enough food saved for a long winter would have been a really helpful trait, if it meant we took appropriate action.

When worry gets out of hand

Worry starts to become more of a problem when it loses its connection to actions we can take to prevent it, and starts to become a regular or even constant presence in our lives.

When worry begins to incorporate a physical element, it can become anxiety, a more significant issue that can be behind a number of physical symptoms, from insomnia to fatigue and difficulty concentrating.

If you feel like anxiety’s starting to be a more serious presence in your life, don’t wait to get appropriate help. Talk to your GP or an occupational health professional if your worries are focused on work, and they’ll be able to support you with the help you need.

Listen to your worries

Trying to ignore worry can trigger behaviours we know aren’t healthy. That mid-afternoon urge for the sweet treat you promised yourself you’d give up, or the glass of wine after work that turns into two… or three.

So ignoring worry doesn’t help. It’s there because something in your life is demanding your attention.

What might your worries be telling you?

The first step is to become aware of what’s going on. If worry’s starting to rear its head, try and identify what’s causing it. Here are three examples of common reasons you might be feeling worried:

  1. Are you doing something brave, and stretching your comfort zone? Is the worry a form of excitement that will pass when you’ve completed whatever it is that’s causing worry?
  2. Is there a specific scenario you’re worried about – like missing a travel connection or messing up a vital task?
  3. Is the worry becoming something that’s a part of your life more generally – so that whatever’s going on, you’ve always got a feeling of worry?

Next, think about what action you can take.

If you’re taking a courageous step, can you reframe your worry as excitement? Remind yourself of all the lessons you’re learning and how this experience will help you grow and reach your goals?

If your worries are centred around a specific event or task, perhaps it’s time to think about what extra support you can offer yourself. Coming up with a “Plan B” can help put your mind at rest, or perhaps you’re worry is prompting you to ask for a bit of extra support. Perhaps a colleague could help you rehearse a presentation, or your partner could drop you off at the station in time to make an earlier train.

If worry’s become more of a constant presence in your life, it might be time to look holistically at how you can get back to a place of thriving. Exercise, meditation, mindfulness and therapies like massage can all help you unwind and find healthy ways to process stress and tension.

For Angela Ceberano, learning to understand her worries transformed her approach to ife. She started to use her worries as a way to pinpoint things she’d like to do, building her resilience as she did so. The result? In her words,

“The way that I view my anxiety has changed. I now view my fears, my worries, and my anxiety as a good thing and I use it to my advantage.”

Need a helping hand?

Life’s Little Toolkit is our handy collection of the best-loved resources as chosen by our community – and how to stop worrying is one of them. If you’re not sure if you’re worrying too much, or know you could do with a way to break free of the worry cycle, you’ll find everything you need to move forward from a handy quiz to a downloadable audio to help you get back on top of things.

Click here to download your free copy.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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When you’re so tired you could cry

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

I was exhausted. At the end of my tether. And I knew there was one place I could turn to for help. “Today I feel so tired I could cry,” I typed into Facebook.

It was August, and we were in Bali, where our peaceful family time had been interrupted by an earthquake, of all things. While badly shaken, luckily we weren’t in one of the worst impacted areas. But it felt like the final straw.

You’ve probably been there at some point – those times when you’ve been keeping it all together and then, suddenly, it all catches up with you.

It had been a few months of fairly epic amounts of getting stuff done. Business was thriving; we’d welcomed new team members and grown our community. We’d unexpectedly had to move house, packing up all our belongings and putting them in storage before travelling halfway round the world to Australia. The restful break we’d planned in Thailand on the way out featured our entire family (me included) getting totally wiped out by a gastric bug… and now, on our way home, the earthquake.

When things feel hard? Reach out

So I did what I often do when things feel too much – I reached out to the One of many community. The place where some of  the most capable, competent women I know come to be vulnerable, admit we’re human, and ask for help. (If you’re not in it, and that sounds like what you need – come join us! Here’s the link).

And, of course, the ladies there did what they always do. They rallied.

Within hours I was looking at a huge list of virtual hugs, practical support, and some of the most grounded advice I’ve received. So, with deep thanks to everyone who came to my aid, here are some of the best bits of advice they shared:

1. Write a list

This was actually the first thing I did, as part of my post – and wow, did it feel good to get it all out. Off the top of my head a total of 31 things I’d achieved in the past 7 weeks came pouring out – everything from packing up our house and moving it into storage, to nursing the family through gastro – and the important detail that I’d not slept for longer than 3 hours since my daughter was born over a year ago!

Writing things out doesn’t change them, but it’s a powerful way of remembering just WHY you’re so tired. And I don’t know about you, but I have a tendency to spend more time staring at the list of everything I haven’t done than the amazing things I have.

So go ahead: write out everything you’ve been up to lately: your wins, big and small, the unplanned challenges, and all the little energy-draining things that you’ve been managing.

I bet you’ll be pretty impressed when you consider it all!

2. Show yourself some love

The love I felt from the community who took the time to write comments, send heart emojis, and generally let me know I was seen and valued, was something else.

And the person I really needed to love me… was me.

We’re all so supportive of each other. And yet it can be easy to be much harder on ourselves than we would a friend.

Next time you’re having a rough day, think about what you’d say to someone you loved who found themselves in your situation. Would you tell her to go gentle? Take it easy? STOP?

Take your own advice, and give yourself some of that loving care and attention.

3. Feel it in your body

Loads of women reminded me that after something like an earthquake (or shock, or burnout, or meltdown), it takes time for the fear and stress hormones to pass through your body.

Massage, exercise and deep rest are so important to allow our bodies to process.

If you’re menstruating, consider where you are in your cycle. That’s not to invalidate your feelings, but to acknowledge the impact that our physical bodies have on our emotions. Listen to what they have to tell you.

Ask yourself: what does my body need right now?

Movement? Rest? Touch? Chocolate? And then do it.

4. Be honest

If there’s one thing I learned from sharing my story it’s that so many of us have been through this. Telling people you’re feeling wiped out does two things: it allows you to bask in the amazing love and support, and it allows others to know they’re not alone.

When you hit rock bottom, don’t isolate yourself. Reach out, no matter how.

Post on social media, tell your neighbour, answer honestly when someone asks how you’re doing.

We’re all in this together.

5. Ask for help

“Delegate for all your worth!” was one comment.

I love this, because it reminds us that when we’re exhausted it’s time to lean on the support that’s always out there for us. My tip? Be specific.

I need you to cook dinner.

I need you to babysit the kids for one hour while I take a walk outside and let out how I’m feeling.

I need you to read through this email and tell me what the person is actually asking me to do.

Make a list of the things you’d love to get help with, and ask as many people as you can for help with them. That way if one person says no, you’ll have someone else who’d probably love to help.

6. Keep it simple

Soft Power Principle #1 is this: Rest and replenish.

In other words, don’t try to solve the world’s problems (or even just yours) when everything’s on top of you. Eat something, for the love of god, and get some rest. (“Go to bed and sleep until YOU wake up” was one piece of advice I loved.)

Promise your anxious brain that everything will still be there when you’re back on form – and I promise it will seem ten thousand times more manageable.

7. Remember all the tools you already have

The one big thing I learned? That the practices and routines I ALREADY had in place were my biggest weapon. It was one of our coaches whose comment really struck a chord with how I was feeling:

“There is no way you’d have been able to do all this without looking after yourself along the way.

Your mind, body and connection to the Divine have enabled you to do all this because you look after them and your connections to them. You and they have done an amazing job. You built up all these energy resources and a support network which has enabled you to achieve and cope with so much.

Now it’s time to rest and recharge and be grateful for it all”

She was right. I hadn’t got to the point of burnout, because the tools I’ve been using along the way were so powerful they’d allowed me to stay replenished through it all. They were what made this a low point rather than a total crash.

Do you have a set of strategies or practices in place to support you if life took an unexpected turn? If you don’t, our free resources are a great place to start.

When you’re so tired you could cry, what happens next?

And so, I took the advice I was given, and that my heart and body were telling me to do:

First I replenished my energy. I had a massage that very afternoon, followed by going to bed early – and I spent the hour on the massage table dreaming about what I could possibly not do, and the following days asking for the support I needed to make that happen.

It wasn’t an overnight fix. Some of the challenges I had took a bit more time to sort out. But I was able to get there, using the amazing support our community gave me – and whatever you’re facing, I have no doubt you can do the same.

Who would you call?

If you could do with your own community of amazing women cheering you on when things get rough, click here to join the BeOne community. You’ll get an invitation to join our amazing Facebook group, invitations to free coaching calls, and access to a huge bank of resources, recordings and friends.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Too much to do, too little time?

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Too much to do, too little time? Welcome to the somewhat knackered club! Research this year from the Mental Health Foundation Thinktank in the UK showed that 81% of women felt overwhelmed or unable to cope in the past year (and we’re not being swamped with spa days or lie-ins). Having too much to do and too little time is a challenge we face time and again within our community and even our own team.

So today I want to share not only a few ways that we’ve found of coping with the times that you’re overwhelmed, but the missing piece when it comes to really getting to the bottom of what’s going on. So you can get off the “hamster wheel” for good.

Why do you have too much to do?

Let’s start by thinking about the first part of the problem: all those things that you have on your to-do list.

No doubt you’ve got some combination of the following swallowing up your time faster than you can glug that coffee going cold on your desk right now.

  1. Things which might come under the heading of life admin (renewing the car insurance, booking those flights, taking the dog to the vet…)
  2. Work responsibilities: the full spectrum of tasks from emails and fiddly tasks to people managing, troubleshooting, big picture strategising and planning.
  3. Friends and family: helping your parents, your kids, your siblings and your friends with the challenges they’re facing
  4. Your relationship (if you’re in one!): spending time with your partner, nurturing a fulfilling physical relationship, and making space for connection
  5. And (although this one might feel like wishful thinking…) your own spiritual and emotional well-being. Going to concerts or exhibitions, being creative, travelling, exploring, getting still, connecting to your spiritual side

Now, I’m sure there’s absolutely no need to convince you just how much there is on your plate. You know all of this already.

But if you’re experiencing the feeling that there’s too much to do and not enough time the first half of that equation is one that is worth paying attention to.

How can you give yourself less to do?

In a nutshell there are 3 ways you can get through your list: Ditch it, delegate it, or do it yourself in the most effective way.

Saying “no” and strengthening your boundaries around what’s yours is a skill that takes practice, but it’s the only way to start reducing the load that’s piled on. Ever heard the saying “if you want something done, ask a busy person”? Once you’re known as someone who always dives in and makes things happen, it’s more and more common to be asked to do more.

Say no, say it’s not a priority, say you’d love to help but it’s simply not possible right now.

However you do it, getting used to gently but firmly upholding your boundaries is such an important part of staying on top of the endless tide of requests.

Sure there’s nothing on your plate you can let go of? Then let’s look at the next part of the challenge: not having enough time.

Why don’t you have enough time to do it?

We all have the same number of hours a day. Those rockstar women who change the world, raise 10 kids, make millions of pounds a year and travel to amazing places (which they then plaster all over Facebook…) have exactly the same amount of time as you do.

Unlike our to-do lists, time is equal. And it’s also finite. We can’t create more of it and we definitely can’t get it back once it’s gone.

What we can do is learn to use it in a way that gives us more space and allows the possibility of flowing with the hours we have at our disposal instead of against them.

I want to take a second to address the issue of equality here, because although we have the same number of hours in a day, depending on the hand that life has dealt us we all have very different things to do with them.

You might be able to afford to invest in more or less help with the things that are on your plate, for example.

Some of us have responsibilities, such as being a carer, or a parent, which others don’t. We all have different abilities, different opportunities and different commitments. And I don’t want to diminish that or suggest that each of us has exactly the same amount of control over the time that we have in our days.

What I do want to do is to draw your attention to the power you do have because – because no matter the circumstances, at some level you always have a choice in how you spend those hours and minutes.

And just as you have a say over things on your list you have a say in how you spend the time you have available to you. But here’s the thing – not every hour of the day is the same when it comes to getting things done. Approach the same task at 8 in the morning, or 4 in the afternoon, and you’ll see very different results.

Which leads me to the part that most of us were never taught to take into account when planning our days.

The missing piece of the puzzle: Energy

When you have too much to do and too little time it’s easy to get caught up in that simple dichotomy: hours in the day versus items on your to-do list.

And there are absolutely times when those two things are what you need to focus on.

When you’re overwhelmed, when you’re in the thick of things, when you’re fighting what feel like urgent fires – by all means use the tools you have available to get the most important things done in the time you have available to you.

What makes our approach is slightly different to others you might have seen is that in our training and philosophy we bring in a third focus – and that’s your energy.

When you start paying attention to the different amounts and kinds of energy you have and on how that can fluctuate, it’s like unlocking a whole new area of awareness.

That’s when you can start to experience having more time than you thought. Or creating times when you can achieve more than ever seemed possible. When even though you’ve made huge strides towards your goals, you can end your day not only at a reasonable hour but with a reasonable amount of energy left to do the things that you want to do.

Maybe even the things that no one else will know if you do – like taking really good care of yourself before you go to bed; processing some of your emotions in your journal; or just taking a few moments to be grateful for everything has come your way over the course of that day.

Need a hand?

We have lots of resources to share around this because we know how big an issue overwhelm is for capable intelligent women navigating today’s world.

If the very idea of having more free hours in your week feels like an impossibility, and overwhelm is starting to take over, maybe it’s time to take a deeper look at what’s going on.

Our free training: From Frantic to Fruitful is the best way to get started when it comes to implementing this missing piece of the time management puzzle and creating more time in your week – even if your diary’s full.

Click here to signup for the session.

In it you’ll start to understand the underlying causes of that frantic feeling and explore a very different way of approaching what you’re able to get done in the day.

How about you?

If you have too much to do and too little time I’m curious. Does it feel like you have way too many responsibilities you’re finding it hard to say no to? Or is it that the hours you do have seem to slip by without you getting done what you wanted to? And I’d love to know if energy plays a part in your awareness right now. Take a minute to check in the comments below.

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How is wellness different from health?

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

When it comes to taking care of yourself, making sure you’re in optimum health has got to be a priority for all of us.

It’s fundamental, isn’t it – if we’re not physically doing OK, there’s no way we can perform at our best intellectually, emotionally, or spiritually. If you’re sick, injured or unwell, you’re probably not going to do much at all.

But when it comes to looking after ourselves there are a lot of different concepts floating around. It can start to get confusing.

How is wellness different from health? What’s really necessary and what’s a luxury busy women can’t afford? Here’s what you need to know.

Health: the foundation of it all

When we talk about health, we’re looking at the basics. Are you well in yourself – not fighting a virus, rundown to the point of exhaustion, or battling a chronic illness that won’t go away?

Health is often defined as a state in which we’re not suffering from any illness. In that sense, we can end up describing health by virtue of what it isn’t. So if we’re trying to be healthy, we’re essentially trying to be “not sick”.

It’s a classic “away from” motivation, because it comes from a wish to move away from the outcome we don’t want – in this case, being unwell in some way.

The trouble is, this kind of “away from” motivation can be limiting, because when the immediate impulse has passed, our momentum drops off. It’s the kind of thinking that can lead us to make all kinds of positive changes in our lives when we have a bit of a health scare, or when someone close to us gets a scary diagnosis. We don’t want that to happen to us, and so we vow off the sugar and the junk and start juicing like our lives depend on it.

But when things have improved – the flu that laid you up for a week passes, or you don’t get the bad news you’ve been dreading – your drive to maintain these changes wanes too.

Of course, the wish not to get sick might be strong enough to keep you motivated to make positive choices indefinitely. But for even the strongest willed of us, it’s a challenging way to maintain discipline.

Have you ever been on a real health kick and then gone on holiday, felt great, and proceeded to massively overdo it on the afternoon glasses of rosé and sugary desserts?

It might well have been because your motivation to live healthily was all about avoiding feeling bad. Relax somewhere beautiful, and you’re feeling blissed out – so you’ve got no incentive to stick to your plans.

Shifting our thinking: the wellness perspective

This is where it can be helpful to think about a word that’s being used more and more often these days: wellness. Wellness, or wellbeing, is how we describe a state that’s more than just the absence of sickness.

It’s a positive state of true vitality: rather than “not feeling tired”, you have bags of energy to achieve everything you want to. You’re not only meeting your basic needs, you’re actually getting the best of what you need in abundant qualities.

When you meet someone who’s not just baseline healthy, but is really thriving, you can sense it. Their eyes shine, they’re quick thinking, and you find yourself thinking “I want what she’s got”.

Thinking about our physical needs in terms of wellness moves our motivation into a “towards” framework. We want to exercise, meditate, eat healthily and make sure we’re hydrated not because we don’t want to get sick, but because we want to really feel great, all the time.

So when you’re offered an extra glass of wine with dinner, you say no because you’re looking forward to feeling fresh and clear headed in the morning – not because you’re avoiding a hangover. Same outcome, different motivations.

Of course, there are lots of other ways we can distinguish health from wellness, and countless ways of ensuring you feel at your best. But this towards/away from distinction can be a helpful place to start when it comes to considering how you take care of yourself, and what outcome you want.

Don’t you deserve to enjoy more than just the absence of illness, but instead to experience true vitality and joy? It’s certainly the way you’ll have the biggest positive effect on those around you, in your family, community and professional life.

We explore the different kinds of motivation as well as how to make sure your needs are met so that you can thrive in our life-changing 12 week program Be Powerful: Unleash the real you. Click here if you’d like to find out more.

How about you?

Is wellness a concept that’s a part of your life, or do you prefer to think about being healthy? These terms often get used interchangeably, so I’m curious to know what you think.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Guest blog: How to heal burnout

By

Elaine Wilkins

Elaine Wilkins

Founder at The Chrysalis Effect
Elaine Wilkins is the multi-award winning Founder and author of The Chrysalis Effect, first ever accredited training in ME, CFS and Fibro Prevention and Recovery, building an international network of experts on fatigue recovery. She is also a round table mentor for One of many. The Chrysalis Effect Online Recovery Programme for fatigue and fibromyalgia recovery is currently helping over 2600 people in 24 countries with their recovery.
Elaine Wilkins

Latest posts by Elaine Wilkins (see all)

There is a lot written about burnout and adrenal fatigue. The peak age of onset of fatigue related illness is people between the ages of 20 – 40, 82% of whom are women. Women just like you, who live busy, full lives with families and careers. Women who move out of their body and live in that headspace of tasks, responsibility and juggling time. Women who find they can’t get out of bed one day and say, ‘I just never thought it could happen to me’.

The 82% statistic only exists because we get so used to suppressing or over-riding the early warning symptoms our body sends. It signals the need for us to slow down via a headache, a feeling of overwhelm or a bloated gut. It is whispering the need to make some important changes.

It’s not just us, we get used to our friends and colleagues saying how ‘crazy busy’ they are, and how they long to stop but can’t. The biggest problem is, ‘out of balance life’ has becomes our society’s norm. Our bodies are amazing and as women we are incredibly resourceful, so we tend to adapt to problems as they arise and take on more and more. The difficulty comes when curve balls like a relationship breakdown, bereavement, financial crises or a virus hit us at a time when we have depleted our reserves.

Taking a moment to identify any physical ‘Early Warning Signs’ you might be experiencing and taking a quick glance at the checklist of the most common ‘Coping Mechanisms’ will be a useful snapshot of how you are taking care of yourself right now and whether it’s time to make some beneficial changes.

Early Warning Signs- Are you experiencing any of these regularly?

  • Headaches increasing in frequency and severity
  • Feeling stressed with normal workload
  • Sudden bouts of total exhaustion often before you are due to do something you don’t enjoy
  • Fuzzy head/poor concentration
  • Feeling overwhelmed
  • Sleep problems
  • Anxiety, busy racing mind
  • Bloating/ Irritable Bowel syndrome
  • Pins and needles in face
  • Unexplained pain in joints or muscles
  • Palpitations
  • Waking exhausted
  • Migraine
  • Vertigo
  • Short term memory problems
  • Poor word recall
  • ‘Jangly’ or ‘juddery’ feeling inside body
  • Struggle to cope with noise
  • Low mood
  • Tearful
  • Reaction to caffeine
  • Poor tolerance to alcohol

Coping Mechanisms – Are you using any of these to improve how you feel?

    • Caffeine
    • Energy Drinks Red Bull Lucozade/Sports Drinks
    • Alcohol
    • Anti-depressants
    • Sleeping tablets
    • Comfort eating with sugary or high fat foods
    • Screening calls to avoid having to speak to people
    • Withdrawing from social events
    • Putting on an act or brave face
    • Dishonesty about how tired or unwell you feel
    • Started a gym routine to build stamina to combat exhaustion
    • Blame external circumstances and believe you will feel better when they change
    • Take time off from work just to go to bed
    • Going to bed really early every night just to be able to get up and work
    • Expect energy levels to change on their own
    • Anti-depressants
    • Sleeping tablets
    • Loads of supplements in an ad hoc way

If you have ticked lots of boxes, it’s okay. Awareness is the Key to regaining our balance and health. You have taken your first step toward wellbeing.

Next Steps……

Gaining Clarity

1. Take some time to reflect on where you are right now and where you would love to be in terms of your health and lifestyle.

2. Notice if you dismiss what you really want, in favour of what you feel you must do.

3. Journaling is helpful to access what you been unable or anxious to voice.

Take Loving Action

Prioritise your wellbeing and seek some help and support to rebalance and rebuild your life in a way that honours your wellbeing above all else. Then you will be able to be everything you want to be in the world.

Claim Your Birth Right

Wellbeing is about feeling grounded, vibrant, and excited about your life. It’s only when we shine a light on behaviours, we may have slipped into, that we gain the perspective to take responsibility for creating our health and a life we truly love.

About Elaine Wilkins

The Yoga Retreat Reveller and Quad biking Glam-mother!

After losing her health to Chronic fatigue in 2000 Elaine had been written off as long term chronic patient because at no point did physicians look at underlying causes of her health crash. It took a 6-year journey to recovery. Her mission was set to change this.

Elaine Wilkins is the multi-award winning Founder and author of The Chrysalis Effect, first ever accredited training in ME, CFS and Fibro Prevention and Recovery, building an international network of experts on fatigue recovery. She is also a round table mentor for One of many. The Chrysalis Effect Online Recovery Programme for fatigue and fibromyalgia recovery is currently helping over 2600 people in 24 countries with their recovery. She is delighted that the first NHS GP Pilot begins in June. Find out more at www.thechrysaliseffect.co.uk