One of Many

Woman looking to create change

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How your vulnerability is your strength

By

Joanna Martin
Joanna Martin
Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin
Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Let’s talk about vulnerability today – and specifically, the shame that seems to be pervading the world at the moment, especially amongst the capable, committed women in this community.

If you’ve recently found yourself secretly thinking “everybody seems to be doing better than me!”, then read on.

I’m going to explain why that’s not true, what stops us from admitting it, and how sharing what’s really going on for you can be a source of radical power and support. Strange as it might seem, your vulnerability is your strength when you find the right space to share it.

But first, let’s start with why this particular moment is wobbly for so many of us. That’s to do with the unique lens through which we’re viewing the rest of the world.

Take a moment to think about how you’re getting your impression of how others are doing.

With the restrictions currently in place, many of us are filtering our interactions through the lens of social media or zoom meetings.

We’re not having as many of those glancing interactions with people at family events. The casual connection at the playground or the pub.

Those times you see each other around the water cooler at work, and just feel that someone’s energy is off.

So we don’t recognize the fact that a lot of us are suffering.

Something which revealed itself from our Momentum for Change weekend this past weekend is the epidemic of mask wearing.

(I’m not talking about the Coronavirus, surgical mask you pop on to go to the shops.)

I’m talking about the “everything’s okay” mask.

You know the difference, right?

That, “everything’s fine!” or “I’ve got this handled!” mask.

That particular kind of mask wearing seems to have gone up a lot in recent times.

This past weekend was the first time in some cases, for weeks, months, or even years where many of us felt safe to go:

“You know what? Maybe I can rest my load down a little bit here and actually say how I really am.”

Early on, I noticed lots of people starting to share words to the effect of… “I’m actually really not managing very well.”

I’m not doing okay.

I’m struggling in my relationship.

I’m feeling like I’m failing as a parent.

We had shares from people who were struggling to stop weeping. Dealing with real big emotions. Or experiencing that sense of  sleepwalking numbness.

So many very deep and powerful shares.

What was revealed was just how much we are collectively challenged and hurting at this time.

Even those of us who are very well resourced. I’m thinking of our Lead the change graduates and participants in our Mastery program who are really deeply embedded in the tools. Even us as trainers! We’ve been working with these tools for years and years and years, decades in some cases.

And even the most resourced of us are feeling the strain of this time.

We are feeling the pressure, but…

We’re not talking about it in any other spaces. Which is why I think it freaked a few people out! A few people felt alarmed by hearing all this big emotion come up – and maybe even wondered if the event itself was causing an outburst of emotion.

But the truth is, those feelings and all of the hurt and challenge were already there.

This year many of us have experienced stress, difficult decisions and emotional strain unlike anything else we’ve gone through.

All that changed was the environment we created where it was safe to say that out loud.

And I’ve been reflecting on just how rare and precious that is ever since.

How vulnerable so many of us are feeling at the moment and just how few safe places we have to say that out loud.

Your vulnerability is your strength – because hiding it saps your energy.

… We’re lacking spaces where we can offload

This is a community of change making women who care. Which means if you’re reading this, you’re very likely to be the person in your space who listens, who’s the “go to” person.

The pillar of strength in the community.

We’re under huge pressure in our home environments, and on top of that we’re often being the strong ones for our family members, our wider family, and in our work spaces for our teams and colleagues.

And we are often the last ones to reach out and say, “I’m not doing okay”.

Because we feel like if we say that out loud, the whole world will fall apart.

But today I want to challenge that assumption. And here’s why.

Our feelings are collective

Part of the power of being open with our vulnerability is the recognition that it is a universal experience. Grief is universal. Fear is universal.

Sometimes we can feel like there’s something wrong with us as individuals – that we are somehow broken or particularly challenged. That our neighbor isn’t feeling this. The other school mums next to us are coping fine. The other women who are out dating or leading teams are not experiencing fear or sadness – that everybody else seems to have it together.

That is absolutely not the case.

Your vulnerability is not a fault or a problem. It’s a normal, healthy, compassionate human response.

In this community, your vulnerability is your strength

When we come together in community and we start talking about our experiences, one of the first and most healing pieces is this realisation that emotions are universal experiences.

“I’m not the only one!”

Why does this surprise us? Well, I’ll tell you why it surprises us… because we don’t bloody well talk about it!

We don’t talk about our innermost feelings. We don’t talk about the fact that we sent an email out to a potential client and they didn’t write back and we feel rejected and alone.

We don’t talk about the fact that we went out on three dates with a girl or a guy, and then we didn’t hear from them afterwards. They disappeared and we feel rejected and alone.

We might talk about what happened, but how often do we actually talk about how we are feeling at a deeper level?

And if I could take that one step forward further, I would say, how many of us actually even take the time to notice how we’re feeling at a deeper level?

What’s missing in our culture and in our society, are safe spaces to be heard, to be the full entirety of who we are.

All of our huge, awesome and rocking magnificence and all of our vulnerable, weepy, uncertain, insecure selves.

We just don’t have those spaces.

At One of many, we’re dedicated to creating safe spaces for women to share

And that for me is one of the things that I’m intensely grateful for.

To see how all of us feel able to come to show up, to share so deeply here, is incredibly moving and empowering for me.

If you’re someone who doesn’t even look at your own emotions, you start hearing from women who are more open.

And you might just start to look for the very first time and start to notice how you feeling.

Or, if you’re very present to how you’re feeling, but not actually telling anybody about it, you might show up on a Living the Change coaching call or in the Be One Global Community on Facebook. And say “this is what’s going on for me right now”.

When it’s said out loud, it becomes a shared experience.

And then what usually happens in this community is hundreds or dozens at least of other women go, “Oh, me too. You know, that’s something similar happened to me. Yeah. Something similar happened to my sister.”

It’s such a powerful thing. And that relief that can follow sharing openly, and not being judged, is so powerful.

Sometimes it’s just the ability to lay down the burden in a safe space, which is a critical piece.

This extraordinary community

So I want to acknowledge and honor you, right now, because whether you found us 5 years or 5 minutes ago, you’re a part of what makes the fabric of this community. You are a part of what makes this a safe space. And I thank you for how you are with each other.

Want more support – along with practical ways to create change?

If you need someone in your corner, if you want to lay down the burden, if you want a place where it’s normal to feel things, it’s normal to have challenges, and it doesn’t make you broken or wrong or helpless… I invite you to come and join us in Living the Change.

You’ll get access to all the tools and resources in our membership site, plus The Hearth, our private online coaching space space. Our in-house coaches are there to answer your questions and provide support whenever you need it.

This isn’t about whining or blaming or being victims. It’s a place to find an empowered sharing of what’s truly going on and practical tools and strategies to help you to create the life you want – to get the results you want to get.

Click here to find out more.

Enrollments close on Monday night UK time, and this is your last chance to register for the program in 2020.

Where’s your safe space to share?

What are you going to do next? How are you going to reach out and to whom?

  • If you’re already in Living the Change and it’s been a while since you came on a coaching call, maybe it’s to join one of the calls, and prioritize getting your hand up and getting coached?
  • Maybe it’s coming into the BeOne community and sharing how you’re doing. You could say “I’m not looking for advice” or “I just want to know if anyone feels like this” – or maybe you’d like some tips from someone else who’s been in your situation. It’s up to you. Tell us what you need.
  • Maybe it’s calling up a friend and saying “I haven’t spoken to you for a long time cause I’ve been having a tough time. Can we have a real conversation about the tough times we’re having, and maybe be there for each other?”

There’s many, many ways to create your safe space, but you need one. All of us need one right now. It’s a really tough time. What are you going to do to support you to handle it with even more support? Let me know in the comments.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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7 ways to overcome procrastination

By

Joanna Martin
Joanna Martin
Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin
Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

With the changes and upheaval we’ve all experienced in the last 6 months, many of us are procrastinating like champions. Even if you’re usually someone who’s ruthlessly disciplined, you might find there are some items on your to-do list that are starting to recur. So how can you overcome procrastination – and what if that thing you’re avoiding isn’t actually procrastination at all?

Procrastination is rife right now

Some recent examples from our community of things they’d been putting off include:

  • Writing a business plan
  • Reading a book
  • Completing a tax return
  • Moving house
  • Changing jobs
  • Buying a dining room table (that’s me!)

… and so on.

Some really big, some pretty manageable.

Take a moment to jot down your own version of that list now.

What have you been putting off? From ordering a new lightbulb or sending an email to writing your will, take the time to capture everything that’s in your head.

I’m going to share 7 common reasons we put things off, and give you some tips on how to overcome procrastination so that you can get back into momentum. But first…

Before you overcome procrastination, here’s what it ISN’T

You see, I’ve been a bit sneaky here. At the bottom of that list of things we’d been putting off, I included my dining room table. It’s something that needs doing and I’ve been putting it off for years – classic procrastination, right?

But here’s the thing. Procrastination is defined as:

The act of putting off an IMPORTANT task, set of tasks or decision.

And to be quite honest, in the grand scheme of things, getting a dining table isn’t something that feels important to me. It’d be useful, sure – it would certainly make me feel fancier when guests come round. But when I weigh it up against everything else that matters, I have zero qualms about relegating it to the bottom of the list.

So, here’s your second invitation.

Anything on your list that’s not important to you (or going to become important at some point)? Cross it off.

Congratulate yourself on an excellent piece of PRIORITIZATION.

And move on.

The other thing that commonly gets lumped in with procrastination?

The decision we make to put off a task because we’re tired.

I would call that ENERGY MANAGEMENT.

And let’s take a moment to acknowledge that, at this collective moment a lot of us are more depleted than we have ever been.

We’re exhausted.

When we tell ourselves we’re “procrastinating” we tend to focus on the task. Your business plan, your tax return, that long overdue phonemail to your oldest mate… yes, they need doing. But what’s more important than the task itself, is the person who’s doing the task.

Often, the person who’s doing the task (you) is burnt out or exhausted.

I cannot emphasise enough how important that distinction is. If you’re looking at a big long list of things, and every single on of them is on hold right now, that’s probably because you’re totally burnt out.

Your priority needs to be radical replenishment, which often looks like 3 things: rest, sleep, saying no.

(A quick tip: When your list of things you’re putting off goes from one or two things, to a page full, you probably need to replenish your energy.)

So, with that in mind, go through your list and note anything that you’re not doing because you’re managing your energy. That might knock one thing off your list, or it might knock everything off your list. Trust your instincts, and try not to second guess yourself.

Because what you’re left with will be the things you’re really procrastinating on – and we’re about to dig into 7 reasons why that might be and what you can do about them.

Why do we procrastinate?

Once you’ve taken off the things that really aren’t that important, and made sure you’re managing your energy, what you’re left with will likely fall into one of seven categories. To overcome procrastination effectively, you need to know what the items on your list fall into.

Most of us don’t acknowledge these. We look at things we’re putting off and tell ourselves we’re lazy, incompetent, or just a total failure.

But frankly, that noisy inner critic isn’t very helpful when it comes to shifting your energy and allowing you to get things done. Put her to one side for a few minutes, because we’re going to dig in.

The 7 reasons we procrastinate (and what to do about them)

#1 Lack of planning

WHAT? You know where you need to do, you just haven’t planned to do it. And as the old adage goes, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. One of the fastest ways to overcome procrastination is actually the simplest: Make some time (enough time!) to do the thing you need to do.

WHAT TO DO: I’m a BIG believer in planning – in fact, I’d estimate that in my typical 25-30 hour working week, I spend a good 4 of those hours planning. I’m willing to bet you could probably be more effective if you allocated some serious time to doing the same. Especially when it comes to those tasks you’re putting off. Give yourself an extra half an hour to plan when you’ll do them, and see if that takes care of them.

#2 The task is out of flow

WHAT: Each of us have some things we’re great at. Maybe you love nothing more than having a good chat with a colleague, but when it comes to looking at a spreadsheet you’re suddenly overcome with the urge to check Facebook. Others will avoid a phone call like the plague, but happily tinker with a pivot table until it’s working like clockwork.

WHAT TO DO:

  1. Delegate it to someone else (this works for decisions too!)
  2. Decide when you’ll do it and complete it at a time when you’re in the right frame of mind to do it. Maybe that means playing a particular song, doing it first thing in the morning before you’ve had time to think about it, or having a quick pep talk with your best friend before you do it.

#3 Lack of knowledge

WHAT: If the thing you’re putting off is a little bit vague – ‘write business plan’ or ‘get fit’ – be honest. Do you know exactly what you need to do to achieve that goal? If not, who do you need to ask?

WHAT TO DO: Make the next action something you at least know how to do: Perhaps it’s reading a book, googling a “How to” guide or asking in a friendly Facebook Group. Because what’s crazier than giving yourself a hard time for not doing something you don’t even know how to achieve?

#4 Overwhelm

WHAT: Ahh, overwhelm. It’s the pesky sprite that pops up for all of us from time to time. And with homeschooling, risk management and rescheduling an entire year’s worth of events and appointments on our plates, LOTS of us are getting reacquainted with what it feels like to be utterly overwhelmed right now.

WHAT TO DO: If you want to overcome procrastination, you’ve got to get out of overwhelm first. Luckily there’s a nifty tool to help you get past it. Click here to download the Overwhelm First Aid Kit so you can regain your focus.

# 5 Analysis paralysis

WHAT: You don’t know exactly what to do about this issue… so you do nothing. And the problem gets worse. Maybe sprouts some other problems of its own. The options you’re thinking of multiply in response. And still you do nothing. Argh!

WHAT TO DO: You know when you’re driving with Sat Nav, and you get stuck on a roundabout? The computer can’t quite catch up, and so you go round and round, never locking onto the correct route? This is like that. Pick a decision, any decision, and go with it. You’ll soon get feedback on whether it was the right one – but until you take an action, you can’t get into action.

#6 Perfectionism.

WHAT: Whatever you’re going to do, has to be perfect. This is how you put off making your kid’s birthday cake so long you end up with a midnight baking session on your hands. If you’ve found yourself swearing into a packet of icing at 2 in the morning, you can probably relate.

WHAT TO DO: Just start. Think of it as a practice attempt, a “Shitty First Draft” as writer Anne Lamott calls it, or just your route off the roundabout. Done is better than perfect – it’s a wise saying for a reason.

#7 Present self / future self dissonance

WHAT: This one is a recent addition for me, and it’s shed a whole lot of light on things like financial planning or exercise that we often find ourselves putting off. Essentially, we avoid doing something that will benefit our future selves (like going for a run) because our present self is motivated by instant gratification (like eating that cookie).

WHAT TO DO: Find your motivation! Two great ways to do that are by getting an accountability partner, or batching the task you’re putting off with something you really enjoy. Habit expert James Clear calls this “temptation bundling”. So, you go for a run while listening to your favourite podcast. Or complete your tax return whilst enjoying the ambience of your favourite café. That way, you get to experience the present gratification of the temptation with the future satisfaction of having completed the task.

Go through your list again – and next to each item, jot down which of the 7 forms of procrastination it is. Does that help you get clear on your next actions? Are you finding yourself with a bit more energy to face the tasks that are on your plate? If you’re feeling better equipped to overcome procrastination, share in the comments – and if this article helps you, pass it on to a friend!

Finding momentum can be tough

At this moment in history, moving into action can feel harder than ever. But you don’t have to do it alone. Momentum for change is a 2-day live virtual experienced, designed to help you rediscover your momentum and reignite your sense of connection. Registration is now open and I’d love to welcome you to join me and our global community of women. Click here to find out more and register for your free place.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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How to deal with your emotions

By

Annie Stoker
Annie Stoker
Master Trainer and Head of Coaching at One of many
Annie Stoker is perhaps the UK's most educated coach and trainer in what it takes to be happy. She has distilled 27 years experience in diverse psychological and spiritual perspectives into a simple but profound manual for the mind: The Personal Development Handbook.” She has coached influential figures, and been featured widely on TV, radio and in print.

Having experienced not just health and sickness, but also success and failure, marriage and divorce, wealth and poverty, Annie now knows that real growth is not another ‘let’s make it all ok’ campaign. It’s about finding the truth at the core of ourselves so that we have the inner freedom to deal with whatever life throws at us.
Annie Stoker
Latest posts by Annie Stoker (see all)

Emotions are a response to the thoughts we have about various situations and circumstances. There are emotions that we like and want to continue having and there are others that we dislike and want to avoid at all costs. We need to understand more about the emotions that we dislike and want to avoid, as it is those emotions that will provide us with more choice, truth and happiness in our life. When you know how to deal with your emotions, life becomes easier, because you’re no longer ruled by a fear of feeling a certain way.

Why do we find emotions so difficult to handle?

If we try to avoid some emotions that we don’t like, they are bound to come back to us later, because all emotions simply want to be expressed. After all they are just energy in motion and emotions naturally bubble up inside us, get expressed and then leave. However, if we try to interrupt this process we can bring all sorts of problems upon ourselves.

When you don’t know how to deal with your emotions it’s often the avoidance strategies that cause you most problems – not the emotions themselves.

Here’s what I mean.

Every feeling that gets generated has five parts as follows:

  1. The thought about the situation
  2. The resulting emotion
  3. The way we perceive the emotion and the meaning we ascribe to it
  4. The way we feel about that meaning
  5. The way we respond to the emotion

Our response to an emotion often has a greater impact than the feeling itself.

No-one has ever died of an emotion!

Many people have died as a result of not managing their emotions but instead turning to substance abuse, addictions and dangerous behaviour.

If emotions are suppressed for long enough they can also cause havoc on a physical level by contributing to diseases and physical symptoms. As long as we do not want to experience a set of emotions and want to avoid them at any cost, the fact remains that someday, we will find ourselves facing those emotions at such an intensity that all our energy, willpower and control will be washed away trying to overcome them.

Here’s how to discover your emotional preferences

Try the following exercise:

Take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle.

On one side of the line, list out the emotions that you like and want to continue to experience in life:

Now, on the other side, list out the emotions that you dislike and want to avoid.

Once you complete the above two lists, you will see that there are a few emotions that you like (for instance: happiness, love, joy, excitement, etc) and probably a lot more other emotions that you don’t like (for example: sadness, anger, fear, hurt, disappointment, hate, jealousy, inadequacy, shame, confusion, doubt, rejection etc).

It is very common for people to have fewer emotions that they like and a large number of emotions that they don’t like.

What this means is that when we think about how to deal with our emotions, we often focus on trying to manipulate life in order to avoid the ones we don’t like.

For example if you’re afraid of rejection, you may then avoid speaking in public, getting into relationships, being noticed at work, making mistakes, speaking your mind etc.

We can run our whole lives trying to avoid emotions we dislike.

Introducing… Emotional Allergies!

Sometimes, we become so allergic to particular feelings, due to intense experiences of them in the past, that we will do anything to avoid them.

Even if it means missing out on things we actually want.

But being aware of what emotions you like and what emotions make you cringe is important for ensuring emotional freedom.

After all, what do you think is more logical: running away from something that is bound to occur, or trying to find a way to accept something that may be uncomfortable but is going to happen anyway?

Once you know this then you can challenge yourself to remain open even to the ones you like least. After all, they are part of being human and are guaranteed to turn up at some point in your life.

How to deal with your emotions

Instead of trying to run away from them and avoid all the situations that you think could possibly cause them, why not ask the more intelligent question of “How can I accept them?” instead?

Eventually, with practice, you’ll find emotions are no longer your enemy. They become part of your life, and your emotional landscape gets more colorful and interesting.

Learning how to deal with your emotions is not about liking or disliking a particular emotion, it is about just being open to all kinds of emotions. In the end you don’t mind what you are feeling – it is all welcome.

As long as we are willing to experience all kinds of emotion for whatever duration, the more easily they can flow through us. You’ll find they actually disappear pretty quickly when you let go!

So choose to be willing, don’t make emotions mean anything (they don’t – they are just sensations) and just let them flow through you without resistance.

Developing emotional intelligence

We develop emotional intelligence when we are able to feel all our emotions and accept them for however long they hang around. A conscious effort to face all kinds of emotion without using any strategy to avoid them plus the willingness to experience all the sensations of every emotion, will ultimately lead to freedom.

If you are open to experiencing any and all feelings, then there is actually nothing in life you need to be afraid of anymore.

You are just open, present and accepting of whatever happens outside and whatever you feel inside.

Over to you

How about you? What emotions do you feel habitually, and which ones do you try and avoid at all costs? “Mapping” your emotional landscape like this can be a really fascinating exercise – we’d love to know what comes up for you. Leave us a comment and let us know!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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One of many women actively standing against racism

By

Joanna Martin
Joanna Martin
Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin
Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

“As part of my commitment to get uncomfortable in the fight against racism, I want to start right here.”

These were the words I typed into our community Facebook group this week, knowing that what I was about to write would fail. That in opening this conversation I would inevitably make ignorant, inexcusable mistakes.

But I’m serious in this commitment: I really want to know how to become anti-racist. And, even though I know I’ll get it wrong, my feelings aren’t what’s important here. It’s time to get uncomfortable and open up this discussion – so that we can make our community a truly diverse one.

The power of community – and the conversation we’re missing

Our Facebook group contains almost seven thousand women. And as we train, connect and inspire sisters around the globe I’m endlessly inspired by what we can achieve when women come together. With the impact so many of our grassroots leaders are having in their communities, organisations and families.

But the elephant in our room is race. And white privilege.

We talk about change a lot here at One of many. But we hardly ever talk about race.

And it’s not hard to know why.

Because it’s damn uncomfortable.

We have a huge community of women from many walks of life and from many ethnic backgrounds.

We also have a strong commitment to solidarity.

And yet, for so many white women, our privilege is such a tender, painful and awkward topic to address that we hardly know where to begin. It’s far easier just to stay silent.

Meaning that those who are left to think, talk and take action when it comes to discrimination and oppression, are all too often the women are the victims of it.

While those of us who benefit from that inequality – not by choice, but by the societies in which we live – are the ones who have the luxury of choosing to switch off from it.

Because it’s “too much”.

Can you see how messed up that is?

Soft Power and the fight for justice

Here at One of many we’re guided by the 5 women’s PowerTypes. The archetypes who can help us embrace and learn from even the hardest challenges.

Mother who can listen and love unconditionally… seeking to understand.

Warrioress who can fight for injustice and harness her anger as a rallying cry.

Queen who can see the horizon beyond it all and will do what’s right even if it’s unpopular.

Lover who can take care of herself in the face of it all.

And Sorceress who can work with faith in Source, life, the universe… that knows we are all interconnected.

So what can we do?

With that in mind… and from that place of Soft Power I want to explore racism. And white privilege.

In the past I had thought myself an ally, but the more I hear in recent days the less I feel that I do enough. I have started. I have conversations. I take some action. We’re actively working to make our coaching team and our office staff more diverse, for instance.

But it’s not enough.

Personally, I am becoming vividly aware that I don’t do enough. I don’t do enough to stop racism and bigotry in my wider family. I don’t do enough in our community of caring women where we could really learn and change things. It’s really, really hard for me to admit that. It feels really horrible.

But it’s not about my feelings, as a white woman. And these are things I intend to change.

If you are a white woman: listen, and take action.

Many women have shared some excellent resources in the community over the past days. If you haven’t already, read the posts, absorb the discussions, and be ready to approach our collective unlearning with humility.

And remember this, as we move forward: We won’t get this right.

None of us is perfect. We all are capable of deep care, love and understanding. And all of us capable of grief, anger and fury.

Racism cannot end with conversation alone.

But it must start here…

If you have have experienced racism and racial oppression – you don’t owe us anything.

I am immensely grateful to every one of you who stepped in to express your anger, heartbreak and frustration in our conversations this week. For your patience in educating those of us who are just starting out on this journey. I learned a lot, and I know I’m not alone. We owe you our respect, our attention, and our apologies. And I am sorry for the inevitable harm we will cause as we learn to do better.

Please, take care of yourselves, stay resourced, and step away from discussions when you need to preserve your energy.

Ultimately, this isn’t about me. There are courageous leaders in the anti-racism movement who have been fighting this fight for decades.

The last thing that movement needs is a white woman like me putting herself at the centre.

So I want to end this article with the words of just one of the women who showed up as leaders in our own community this week. 

“You can choose to lead either by your active work to dismantle the paradigm or your complicit upholding of it. I would love you to lead with courage and vulnerability and the very possibility that you might do it wrong, that people might call you out, that you may have to feel emotions and reactions that you don’t want to feel. 

Do this and it will embolden other white women in positions of power to do the same and perhaps even white men. This is your time to lead with full awareness as a woman with power and privilege.  

Lead inclusively, learn, grow and don’t expect black women and people of colour to take on the burden of teaching, increasing your awareness and educating you for free. We and our ancestors have done enough free emotional and physical labour.  

We can truly walk together when you show through your actions that you are really committed to change, when you have demonstrated that we are safe and valued as equals in your presence. Beyond tokenism and platitudes. There has been enough of that already particularly in the field of personal development. “ –Monica Douglas

I encourage you to go over to the BeOne group and read through the conversation happening there in response to my post – paying particular attention to the voices of the women who responded so passionately from their own lived experience. Let their words inform and inspire your action.

We all have our spheres of influence. It’s time for all of us to do as much as we can.

More than a social media post; more than reading a book.

My deep hope is that by using the principles of Soft Power, we can create the change the world needs to build a world that’s truly equal for all of us.

How can you be part of that change today?

Here are some resources to help get you started.

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Emerging Leadership: Starting a business during quarantine

By

Joanna Martin
Joanna Martin
Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin
Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

During this time of unprecedented change, we’ve been humbled and inspired to see how graduates of the One of Many programs are applying their tools to navigate the difficulties we’re all facing.  So, over the next week or so, we’ll be sharing some truly inspiring interviews with women whose leadership is helping steer their families, teams and communities towards an emerging future that brings us great hope. 

These empowered women are living demonstrations of the opportunity we have to step up and define what comes next. We may be living through lockdown, but even as the current crisis brings great challenges it is also a time ripe with opportunity. To let go of what no longer serves us, to embrace new ways of looking at the world, and to fight for what really matters.

And we hope they inspire you too…

Today, we’d like to introduce you to Wendy McCristal, Founder of The Mental Wealth Company. A graduate of Lead the Change, Wendy has transitioned from working in the rail industry, burning out, and crafting a career that works for her and her clients powerfully.   She’s a great role model of compassion and prioritisation.

Please let us know in the comments what lessons you hear in Wendy’s story…

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How to actually make a difference

By

Sara Price
Sara Price
Sara is a coach and mentor with over 25 years of experience in campaigning and communications. As well as her ongoing work with Pagefield, the leading independent communications agency that she co-founded in 2010, Sara is a One of Many Certified Coach, a Mastercoach and soon to be author.
Sara Price
Latest posts by Sara Price (see all)

I don’t know about you, but I’m not a big fan of feeling cynical and helpless. I am by nature an optimist, and I want to know how to actually make a difference. I believe in the possibility of change, so I focus on the ways in which I can have an impact. It’s empowering to figure out what I can do, even if it is only a little, to affect the issues that are important to me.

You can probably relate. The issues we’re facing in our communities, our societies and as a planet are impossible to ignore. What might surprise you is something else I care about, and which I believe is key to the impact all of us can have on the change we want to see in the world:

Politics.

Now before you click to another page, here’s another thing you might find surprising – so do you.

‘Oh no I don’t…’

‘Oh yes you do…’

‘Oh no I don’t…’

‘Oh yes….’

Sorry, wrong blog, we’re past the Christmas Panto season right? Although given the way that much of our politics is conducted, sometimes pantomime seems apt…

Why you care about politics (even if you think you don’t)

Anyway, back to the point: why do I insist that you care about politics?

Well, here’s a list of issues which almost certainly affect your life in one way or another. I am prepared to bet rather a lot of money you care about at least one of them:

  1. How much tax you pay
  2. How much money you are paid
  3. How much you receive in benefits
  4. What your children learn at school
  5. How qualified the teachers are that teach them
  6. How long the school holidays are
  7. What access you have to childcare, and who pays for it
  8. How many hours you work
  9. How much holiday you can take from work
  10. Your access to healthcare if you’re too sick to work
  11. Your access to sexual health services
  12. What age you can get married
  13. Whether you can get married or not
  14. Whether or not we, as a country, go to war
  15. When your rubbish is collected
  16. Whether that new development near your house gets planning permission
  17. The amount of renewable energy we produce as a nation
  18. Climate change
  19. Plastics in the ocean
  20. GMO food
  21. Nuclear weapons…

Is there something on this list that you care about?

Yes?

Then you care about politics.

Because every single item on that list is determined — or at least heavily influenced — by politicians at a local, national or international level.

Elections, referendums, protests – these are all huge political moments in our lifetimes. But the opportunities for usto have an impact on these big, important decisions aren’t limited to these snapshots in time.

Whether you agree with the outcomes or not, if you want to actually make a difference, you have a choice. You can wait for the next moment to come along – another election, another referendum, another protest…

OR you can get informed, get engaged, get empowered and actually make a difference more regularly than once every few years.

An optimist’s take on creating change

I may have mentioned that I am an optimist?

Here’s what I imagine…

…a world in which we do more than turn up once every few years, mark a cross on a piece of paper, and then moan to our friends about how our politicians don’t represent us.

…a world in which the electorate (which means YOU) feels informed, engaged and empowered to have an impact on the issues they care about.

…a world in which we hold our representatives accountable for the actions they take and the decisions they make.

That’s the world I want to live in and the one I want to do something to contribute to.

Why?

Because of that list of issues that you care about.

Because politics is important beyond the moments.

Because I don’t want to feel helpless and hopeless.

Because I want to feel informed, empowered and engaged.

And I suspect maybe you do too.

How to actually make a difference: 3 myths about getting involved

Lots of the myths you might have unconsciously absorbed about becoming ‘politically involved’ simply aren’t true. Here are 3 that commonly stop us from taking action, and the truth behind them.

Myth #1 Getting involved in politics will take up all my time

Something as simple as getting informed about an issue you care about; finding out what organisations are working to improve it or signing a petition might only take a few minutes. Do that every day or week, and you’ll soon be more engaged with what’s going on.

Myth #2 If I want to make a difference, I’ll have to join a party or start a campaign

There are lots of groups, individuals and organizations already doing amazing work on all kinds of issues. So you don’t need to start from scratch. Whether it’s making a donation, sharing their work with your network, or contributing your time and skills, there are ways to get involved at every level.

Myth #3: I need to spend years studying politics before I get started

Politics isn’t for the elite, the wealthy or the educated. It’s for all of us. And starting with grassroots issues that matter to you — a local footpath, a library you love, a policy at work you don’t agree with — is the best way to learn more.

We deserve more

The philosopher and diplomat Joseph de Maistre once said that “In a democracy people get the leaders they deserve.”

Isn’t it time for us to deserve better leaders?

Isn’t it time we stepped up? Spoke out? Held our leaders to account?

Isn’t it time we got involved? Made a difference? Had a say?

Then perhaps when the next political moment rolls around, we will have gone some way to creating that world I imagine.

I’ll be sharing more ways you can get involved and have an impact on future blogs.

For now, I’m curious: What’s your relationship with politics like? Do you feel as though you’re engaged with the issues that matter; does it all feel like a distant circus of posturing egos; do you feel empowered, helpless, or somewhere in between?

I’d really love to know — share your take in the comments below.

About Sara

The Knitting, Baby-whispering Karaoke queen!

Sara is the Founder of Actually which she set up to empower those who want to make a difference in the world to grow their businesses and their impact by developing great communication skills; overcoming mindset blocks and getting the right support. Sara’s specialises in communications, campaigning and PR – and her flagship training programme, How to Actually Spread the Word, helps purpose-led entrepreneurs, coaches and consultants to step up, speak up and make a difference. She is also a One of many coach and trainer; a mentor with the social enterprise support group Unltd and the co-Founder of one of London’s leading independent communications agencies.

Please visit www.actually.world or email sara@actually.world for more information.

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Are you already coaching?

By

Joanna Martin
Joanna Martin
Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin
Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

A surprising number of women, whether or not they’re interested in pursuing coaching as a career, already use some fundamental coaching skills in their day to day lives – often without realising they’re doing it. Are you one of them? Today I’m going to share 3 ways to find out if you’re already coaching people around you, and why this could be an important signal for you about where to focus your energy.

Why coaching skills are so valuable

In the coming decade, coaching skills are emerging as an increasingly valuable attribute across industries, as well as outside of the workplace in areas like family, relationships and wellbeing. Why? At the start of the decade, a shift is beginning to emerge in the traditional priorities of business.

In 2019, Deloitte asked nearly 10,000 CEOS to state what they considered to be the most important measure of success. The top answer might surprise you: Ahead of profit or customer satisfaction, top CEOs rate their ‘impact on society’ as the most important achievement.

That’s not the easiest thing to achieve in today’s fast moving, ever connected world. A business’s impact on society needs to be led by people with a clear vision, the ability to hold steady and inspire others through turbulence and uncertainty, and a real sense of integrity aligned with their deepest values. If success is measured by wider impact, leaders need the kind of deep support that coaching brings. Their legacy will be defined not only by their financial acumen or management ability, but by their clarity of purpose and vision. Their ability to respond to global events and social shifts, with discernment and integrity. And that’s the kind of support trained coaches have the skills to provide.

A second key trend comes as ‘Generation Z’ — our current 16-25 year olds — enter the worksplace. By 2030, they’re estimated to make up almost 33% of the global workforce. And their priorities, as Dan Schawbel, research director at Future Workplace writes, are not what we might assume

“This digital generation, primarily relying on technology to communicate, suffers from anxiety. Thus, Gen Zers are looking for leaders who are trusting, support their needs, and express care for them as humans – not just employees. Focusing on Gen Zers human needs will be the best way to address their workplace needs.”

The ability to set a clear vision and purpose, and to support the human needs of employees, ask for a new kind of leadership to emerge. One that will be fostered by the kind of coaching skills many of us take for granted. In this short video, I share 3 signs that you might already be coaching — and what you should be aware of if you are.

Are you already coaching without knowing it?

If you’re already coaching…

If you’re currently coaching without realising it, or are practicing as a coach and want to develop your skills further to reflect these emerging trends in business, it’s clear that the world needs your talent. And when it comes to equipping yourself with the most up to date tools to enhance your impact, I share what you need to know in a free online workshop: The Secret to Coaching Women.

.Click here to register and find out more.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ womenBecome One of many™ womenBecome One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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The most important question to ask yourself

By

Joanna Martin
Joanna Martin
Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin
Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

The most important question to ask yourself if you want to create change might not be what you think. Most of us focus on what it is we want to DO. But there’s a shift that needs to happen before we take any kind of action. One that makes all the difference to how effective an impact we can have. And I realised just how much this one question mattered on an ordinary morning towards the end of 2019, in the most unexpected setting…

Looking back…

My local café is playing back to back classics from 25 years ago. These were the tunes that accompanied me around my first GAP year tour around Europe.

Green Day, The Beautiful South, Sinead O’Connor…

What are the tunes which take you back?

What song, when you hear it on the radio, transports you through time to a moment decades ago – maybe being driven up to university, dancing with friends on a night out, wracked with adolescent angst in a room with the curtains drawn?

Because, hearing that music, I’m forced, and I mean FORCED, to reflect back on what has happened over those 25 odd years.

(Trust me – I’m trying to do a completely different job right now – but the power of music is hard to ignore.)

What have you achieved over the past decade or two?

I did a medical degree. Travelled a lot. Lost my virginity. Directed plays. Dated. Was a doctor for a time. Was an acting student for a time. Found my true calling. Fell in love – way too many times. Spent a long time perplexed by men. Started a business. Struggled. Cried a lot. Succeeded. Laughed so much my sides hurt with my family. Toured the world doing what I love. Was heartbroken by the insensitivity of humans more times than I care to remember. Burned out. Rested.

Started another business. Succeeded. Got married. Tried to have a baby. Had palpitations. Had a miscarriage. Stopped. Re-assessed. Learned to sail. Got pregnant. Had a baby. Started One of many. Moved to the English countryside. Met great friends. Grew what’s becoming a movement. Started another business with one of my best mates. Had another baby at home in the bath, all 10lb 14oz of her. Impacted a load of lives. Went to Necker Island and met presidents, business mavens and human rights leaders. Sang carols in my loungeroom with my friends.

I’ve done A LOT of awesome in the last 25 years.

Goodness.

But what I’m MOST present to listening to these old tunes is that WHO I AM is so different to who I was then.

Indeed who I am is different to who I was 10 years ago. Five years ago.

Dammit, who I am today is different to who I was 1 year ago!

And I think that’s because throughout my life I’ve asked myself the same question over and over.

If I want to do x, then WHO do I need to BE?

You see, the me of twenty five years ago? You probably wouldn’t recognise her.

Perhaps the one thing we still have in common is that she cared, deeply and passionately, about the world around her. I still do.

But almost everything else: how we approach life, how we decide what to do, how we show up in relationship with friends, family, colleagues… all of that is different.

How about you?

When you think about the difference you need to make, have you ever asked yourself that question?

Or have you tended to get caught up in the far more common one: “What do I need to do?”

When I look at the challenges the world is facing, I see so many things that will require our energy, commitment and passion to solve.

In our society as we grapple with inequality, injustice and intolerance.

As a planet, wondering what impact climate change, artificial intelligence, and our ever more connected society will have.

And as stewards to the next generation, wondering what on earth they need to know to thrive and find joy in the coming decades.

Today, I think perhaps the answers might lie in asking the right question.

Not what do we need to DO.

But who do we need to BE?

It’s the only way I can credit the big changes I’ve been able to make. And it’s something I think we could all do with reflecting on more as we set goals.

What is it you want to achieve in the coming year? How are you ready to change?

Start by asking yourself that simple question, and you might find the key to many of your challenges, dreams and ambitions.

Find out who you need to be

This important question is just one of the ways you can set yourself up for success in the coming months. To find out how to turn it into results, join me in September 2020 for a LIVE interactive workshop.

You, me and hundreds of other women round the world gathering to get clear on the future we want to create from this historic moment of change, and how we can make it happen.

Click here to join us.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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3 Lessons for creating success without burnout… from an unlikely role model

By

Joanna Martin
Joanna Martin
Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin
Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

When you’re used to living life in “Superwoman” mode, it can be hard to stop – even when you know it’s time you learned to create success without burnout. And frankly, it’s frustrating!

Logically, we know that rushing through life, running on fumes, barely making time to deal with our basic bodily functions (gone all day without a wee again?) isn’t good for us. It leads to exhaustion, burnout, and the appearance of the parts of us we’d like to pretend don’t exist.

(The bitch who snaps at her partner when they gently ask us why we’ve taken on yet another project. The martyr who agreed to the extra work while feeling put upon and secretly resentful.)

On the other hand, we’re often able to achieve so much when we push ourselves that it can be really challenging to let go of that way of working!

Why do we stay in “Superwoman"?

Let’s start by thinking about those reasons we often find not to step back from Superwoman.

Take a moment to jot down some reasons, big or small, that stop you from moving to a saner pace.

For example:

  • Everyone’s relying on me – I can’t leave them in the lurch
  • People will think I don’t take my work seriously if I block out time for a long lunch
  • Slowing down’s for people who lack ambition and drive
  • The only way to get anywhere in life is through hard work and sacrifice
  • I’ll rest as soon as we’re out of this busy period

These might feel familiar. Or perhaps you have some of your own to add in. What might strike you when you’re looking over your list is that these are actually rooted in quite logical goals.

You want to be effective; you want to help and support those around you; you want to express yourself, make a difference, and achieve your potential.

These are great motivations! But Superwoman mode – pushing yourself, never stopping, and only focusing on maximising your productivity in every second – really isn’t the most effective way to go about reaching those goals.

Which leads me to an unexpected role model for female leaders I recently came across, and the lesson they have for us all about how to achieve success without burnout.

A different style of leadership

Let me describe this leader’s day to you:

They wake at 7:30, enjoying a leisurely few hours to themselves to eat breakfast and read the news. They work from bed until mid-morning, take a walk, and then join family and friends for a multi-course lunch.

In the afternoon they enjoy creative relaxation: painting, reading, listening to music, or perhaps a period of quiet reflection in nature. Around 3pm they return to bed for a long nap. Dinner is another leisurely affair, after which they stay and talk with friends for a few hours.

Then, around midnight, they return to their study when they connect to their “night owl” energy. They might work until 2am – or at busy times 3 or 4 – to write and work.

Now, how does that sound? Be honest – are you finding yourself inwardly judging the person I’m describing?

“She sounds like she doesn’t take her work that seriously” you might be thinking. Or “It’s alright for some – clearly this is a person who’s happy to be a lady of leisure, and doesn’t have much ambition in her life.”

If either of those thoughts have crossed your mind, you might be surprised to know that I’m not talking about a woman at all. In fact, this is the reported daily schedule of none other than Sir Winston Churchill.

Churchill is one of the most well known leaders and statesmen, best known as the prime minister who led Britain during World War Two. He was also a prolific writer. And yet, when we compare his leisurely daily schedule to many of our own, there are some fundamental differences at play.

Let's look at three of the most striking:

1. Rest comes first and foremost

When you might stay up until 2am working, it's understandable that getting enough sleep requires an afternoon nap.

But there are other moments of rest in Churchill's schedule too; like working from bed in the morning, or taking time for reflection and meditation in the afternoon. Rest isn’t something that gets squeezed in after the work is done.

With that long, late session ahead of him he’s evidently confident that devoting his day to leisure and replenishment will pay off. And Churchill’s quoted as sharing this message of prioritising replenishment with others, too:

"We were not made by Nature to work, or even to play, from eight o’clock in the morning till midnight. We throw a strain upon our system which is unfair and improvident." – Winston Churchill

2. Soft play is a priority

Notice that afternoon of reading, painting, or spending time in nature? It’s what we know at One of many as "soft play". Time spent doing things you love to do, not because they’re something you’re paid or rewarded for but simply because they fill your soul.

Many of us really struggle to make time that’s just for us. But Churchill’s a great example of a leader who knew that his “hobbies” helped free his mind and allowed him to access the prolific fluency with which he dictated his books, articles and leadership decisions.

What do you regularly make time for to bring you delight, distraction and enjoyment – just for you?

3. Understand your cycles – and work with them

You might look at that morning in bed, or the restful afternoon, and assume that this is a person who doesn’t get much done. But when we consider that Churchill sometimes worked until 3 or 4 in the morning, it becomes clear that this is someone deeply in tune with their natural rhythms.

You might not be someone who could write thousands of words until the small hours of the morning, especially after a long dinner. But there will be times of the day when you’re naturally in flow, and really able to hit your stride. How confident do you feel to put things on hold when you’re not at your best, so that you’re raring to go when it’s time to get going?

Soft power in action

The quintessential image of Churchill is the “British Bulldog” – a portly, dogged statesman with cigar clamped between his teeth. He's often seen as the epitome of masculinity – the great leader who steered his country to victory in a world war.

And yet these characteristics demonstrate a far more feminine model of leadership. Not female, note. Men can access this “soft power” too, just as women can be guided by a more linear, masculine way of working.

What’s fascinating to note is just how effective, impactful and successful Churchill was able to be with this style of leadership. If you’ve worried that doing things a different way might reduce your impact or curtail your chances of leaving a meaningful legacy, perhaps this might help you think again.

A note on privilege

Winston Churchill was an aristocrat, born into the elite governing class. He enjoyed immense inherited wealth, and lived on a country estate well served by dedicated staff. Although he had 5 children, I doubt that he was the one arranging doctor’s appointments, chasing missing shoes, or soothing chicken pox. And his desire to serve his country was aided by his world class education, stellar network and unshakeable self confidence.

As a white, upper class man it’s important not to overlook the systemic support Churchill enjoyed from birth. But it’s also true that, compared to millions of people in the world, most of us enjoy lives of great privilege too. If you’ve had access to food and clean water; been educated, and have the freedom to earn money and make decisions about your own life, you’re also enjoying great fortune.

How are you choosing to use it?

Soft power – where to start

If you like the thought of doing thing a different way, but aren’t sure where you’d start, why not have a look at Taking Charge?

It’s a free online workshop that will help you discover why Superwoman isn’t working for so many of us, and how you can start to do things differently.

Click here to get access to this virtual training now. 

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Guest post: 5 reasons women are still taking a back seat in their own careers

By

Erica Sosna
Erica Sosna
Founder | Creator | Storyteller

Erica Sosna is the creator of The Career Equation® and CEO of Career Matters. She has 20 years of expertise in leadership, employee engagement and career management and is author of Your Life Plan (Wiley) and the forthcoming Career Equation (2021). Her clients include: Capital One, Mastercard, Savills and Dassault Systemes .
Erica Sosna
Latest posts by Erica Sosna (see all)

Women in the workplace. We’re fierce. We’re doing great things. Our mothers and several generations of ancestors fought hard for us to have a seat at the table.

I’m 41. I’m of the generation that was told we could do anything we set our minds to. That the glass ceiling was no longer relevant for us. Yet, as a careers coach for professional women, I experience that we have yet to overcome the challenges that face us.

I’d like to share a bit with you about my experience of the challenges we face in defining, driving and owning our careers and a simple model I think can really help define our career paths and establish a solid starting point for effective career conversations.

If you want to know more about career conversations, then you can find out more by downloading our free guide at the bottom of this article.

But first, let’s agree on the obstacles.

A lack of generational opportunity

We were told anything is possible. Yet the gender pay gap, numbers of senior women in major organisations and the discrimination cases of #MeToo tell us that this not the whole story. Many workplaces were designed by men, for men, so the way that opportunities arise and are allocated doesn’t always give women a dignified and level playing field. We end up trying to be Superwoman and it’s not sustainable; our health and relationships suffer.

Poor career advice

Poor careers advice early on in life meant many of us didn’t get to align a deep level of self-knowledge with the opportunities in the world of work. Thus, most of us fell into our careers rather than chose them. Imagine how different your career path might have been if you’d known about the Women’s Powertypes™, for example, when you were deciding which path to take.

This lack of support leaves us as women potentially confused and doubtful about whether we made the right choices.

Lisa Harris from the Open University expressed what so many women experience;

“I was inhibiting myself with my own preconceived ideas about what my career should/could look like in the future.”

Traditional views on careers

Until the last decade a career was defined by long-term period of stability spent in one or two organisations, following an established track into becoming an expert at senior level in your chosen profession. You didn’t have to think too much about it because your company decided on your future for you.

In the new world, the job for life is err… dead.

New roles are cropping up all the time. Job titles are becoming more and more abstract. The work we most need to do may not have existed a decade ago. We’ve got flexible working, remote working, fixed term contracts and we need to be a whole lot more adaptable so we can redefine and reposition ourselves as the world of work changes.

What is success?

In this new world, the question of how you even define success becomes more and more important. We have been traditionally taught that success is about more money, seniority or status. It’s about ambition and climbing the greasy pole. But what if success is unique for each of us? And defined more by the experiences we want to have and the kind of life we want to lead?

Gilly Orr, now working as a Fund Development Director for Social and Sustainable Capital told us;

“I didn’t realise it was possible to find a job I was both good at and that would make me happy.”

How can we hear ourselves think about what truly matters to us and connect to it in a world that has got increasingly ‘loud’, bombarding us with media and messaging about how our work and lives are ‘supposed’ to be?

Changing aspirations over time

The fact is, that this definition also changes over time. Maybe a role with lots of travel was fantastic when you were twenty but is exhausting as you approach mid-life. What we find fulfilling evolves as we do and as life circumstances and priorities shift, we need a way to re-evaluate where work sits within our wider life context.

Additional to these obstacles is the way we as women hold ourselves back.

Stephanie Aitken, an In-House Trainer with One of many who also runs her own successful corporate coaching and training business told us:

“In my experience there are 3 key things that hold women back from wanting to step up in their career, I call them the “3Cs”.

They are:

  • Capability – I doubt I have enough skills or expertise to do the role
  • Congruence – I fear I’ll burnout and/or lose precious time with my family
  • Confidence – I struggle to share my ideas with conviction and claim my place at the table.”

With all this stacked against us, it’s clear we need tools to help us define and own our careers.

What is a career anyway?

At Career Matters, we define a career as a series of choices that explore how you align your gifts with how you spend your time and earn your money.

To navigate these choices effectively and thus feel empowered and in charge of your own career path, you need 3 things:

  • To be able to define what success means to you
  • Selection criteria for roles and opportunities based on that definition
  • To know what value you add and where you do your best work.

The Career Equation®

The Career Equation® is a simple word equation which helps define the four components of a fulfilling career. I am sharing the model with you so you can build your own equation and use it to define the work that best suits you.

Here’s how it works:

Skills

We say people are happiest when they work in an area of skill or strength.

When you do something you are good at and aim to become exceptional at it, you will experience a good deal of satisfaction.

Passions

We want to apply these key skills to an area of interest or ‘passion’.

Passion relates to subjects that arouse your curiosity or enjoyment. It also applies to behaviours or activities that cause you to feel so absorbed you lose track of time – for instance solving problems or making art.

Lizzie Clark is a print fashion designer and hit upon the value of recognising her passions;

“I found the knowledge of myself so powerful. It really is as simple as selecting the aspects I love and thrive with to create something I can refer to for focus and direction.”

When you apply your skills to an area of interest or to a passion, your satisfaction and your results grow. This is amplified even further when the goal or objective of our work lines up with our values. This is what we call impact.

Impact

We all define and measure our success in different ways. So it makes sense for you to understand how you define success and get clear on how you will track it. Understanding your Women’s Powertype Profile™ can be invaluable here. Do you want flexibility to work on your own terms? Being a leader in your field? Or the chance to deliver real results to customers?

These top three elements of The Career Equation® help you identify who you are and what matters to you. This clarity can be enhanced or compromised by the fourth element – the ground beneath your feet – we call this your level of ‘environmental fit. ‘

Environmental Fit

When a working style, culture, office environment or pace of work suits your personality, you thrive. When the two are not in alignment, you can struggle. It is important that you have the self-knowledge to know in what context you do your best work. Some elements of the environment can be open to change. Others are pretty fixed across the entire business. For example, you might be able to gain more autonomy by asking for it or moving to a different area but you may not be able to change the IT infrastructure!

The Career Equation® can help you identify what’s working and what needs adjustment. It can also help you articulate the kinds of work you are looking for. And best of all, it will give you clarity about what you really want out of work, so you can go and get it!

How to Use the Career Equation® to Manage and Review Your Career Path

The Career Equation® works because it separates the four elements that shape your ideal career path.

  1. Begin by making four lists under the four elements of Skills, Passion, Impact and Environment. Notice where there is common ground. What do you currently use or under-use?
  2. Next consider your current work. If you were going to change anything in your work to better fit with your list of requirements, what would you change and why?
  3. Last, think about your top 3 criteria in each category. If you were to brainstorm new roles or new work that suited these criteria, what would your career path and life design look like?

And if you know your Women’s Powertype Profile™, you can incorporate the self-knowledge that gives you into The Career Equation®. It’s a powerful way of identifying your gifts; helping you achieve more whilst staying true to yourself.

Stephanie reinforces this by saying

“I’ve seen time and again how the PowerTypes™ give women access to resources they didn’t realise they had, helping them overcome obstacles and powerfully drive their career forward. Such as the Queen’s ability to communicate clearly and decisively, the Warrioress’ self-belief and determination to take action and the Lover’s commitment to self-care so that she remains healthy and resilient.”

About the Career Equation®

The Career Equation® is one year old! In 2019 alone it helped 1,200 people understand their personal definition of success, helping them find a fulfilling career path.

Kirsty Riglar from Dorset Council worked through The Career Equation® and told us she loved the way “it provided me with a variety of tools that let me focus on what I can do and what I want to do in terms of my own career development.”

Learn how to use The Career Equation® for more engaging and usable career conversations in your company with our FREE guide.

It’s full of new ideas, interesting facts and guidance. It also has a template email to help you get started with your career conversations and an editable planner so you can plan and implement your own career conversations in 2020.

Use this information as a signpost or map, coming back to it periodically to check your career is moving in the direction you want it to move in. Your career is a series of choices; you alone have the power to change it for the better.

Download it here.

About Erica

Founder | Creator | Storyteller

Erica Sosna is the creator of The Career Equation® and CEO of Career Matters. She has 20 years of expertise in leadership, employee engagement and career management and is author of Your Life Plan (Wiley) and the forthcoming Career Equation (2021). Her clients include: Capital One, Mastercard, Savills and Dassault Systemes .