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3 Lessons for creating success without burnout… from an unlikely role model

By

Joanna Martin

Joanna Martin

Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

When you’re used to living life in “Superwoman” mode, it can be hard to stop – even when you know it’s time you learned to create success without burnout. And frankly, it’s frustrating!

Logically, we know that rushing through life, running on fumes, barely making time to deal with our basic bodily functions (gone all day without a wee again?) isn’t good for us. It leads to exhaustion, burnout, and the appearance of the parts of us we’d like to pretend don’t exist.

(The bitch who snaps at her partner when they gently ask us why we’ve taken on yet another project. The martyr who agreed to the extra work while feeling put upon and secretly resentful.)

On the other hand, we’re often able to achieve so much when we push ourselves that it can be really challenging to let go of that way of working!

Why do we stay in “Superwoman"?

Let’s start by thinking about those reasons we often find not to step back from Superwoman.

Take a moment to jot down some reasons, big or small, that stop you from moving to a saner pace.

For example:

  • Everyone’s relying on me – I can’t leave them in the lurch
  • People will think I don’t take my work seriously if I block out time for a long lunch
  • Slowing down’s for people who lack ambition and drive
  • The only way to get anywhere in life is through hard work and sacrifice
  • I’ll rest as soon as we’re out of this busy period

These might feel familiar. Or perhaps you have some of your own to add in. What might strike you when you’re looking over your list is that these are actually rooted in quite logical goals.

You want to be effective; you want to help and support those around you; you want to express yourself, make a difference, and achieve your potential.

These are great motivations! But Superwoman mode – pushing yourself, never stopping, and only focusing on maximising your productivity in every second – really isn’t the most effective way to go about reaching those goals.

Which leads me to an unexpected role model for female leaders I recently came across, and the lesson they have for us all about how to achieve success without burnout.

A different style of leadership

Let me describe this leader’s day to you:

They wake at 7:30, enjoying a leisurely few hours to themselves to eat breakfast and read the news. They work from bed until mid-morning, take a walk, and then join family and friends for a multi-course lunch.

In the afternoon they enjoy creative relaxation: painting, reading, listening to music, or perhaps a period of quiet reflection in nature. Around 3pm they return to bed for a long nap. Dinner is another leisurely affair, after which they stay and talk with friends for a few hours.

Then, around midnight, they return to their study when they connect to their “night owl” energy. They might work until 2am – or at busy times 3 or 4 – to write and work.

Now, how does that sound? Be honest – are you finding yourself inwardly judging the person I’m describing?

“She sounds like she doesn’t take her work that seriously” you might be thinking. Or “It’s alright for some – clearly this is a person who’s happy to be a lady of leisure, and doesn’t have much ambition in her life.”

If either of those thoughts have crossed your mind, you might be surprised to know that I’m not talking about a woman at all. In fact, this is the reported daily schedule of none other than Sir Winston Churchill.

Churchill is one of the most well known leaders and statesmen, best known as the prime minister who led Britain during World War Two. He was also a prolific writer. And yet, when we compare his leisurely daily schedule to many of our own, there are some fundamental differences at play.

Let's look at three of the most striking:

1. Rest comes first and foremost

When you might stay up until 2am working, it's understandable that getting enough sleep requires an afternoon nap.

But there are other moments of rest in Churchill's schedule too; like working from bed in the morning, or taking time for reflection and meditation in the afternoon. Rest isn’t something that gets squeezed in after the work is done.

With that long, late session ahead of him he’s evidently confident that devoting his day to leisure and replenishment will pay off. And Churchill’s quoted as sharing this message of prioritising replenishment with others, too:

"We were not made by Nature to work, or even to play, from eight o’clock in the morning till midnight. We throw a strain upon our system which is unfair and improvident." – Winston Churchill

2. Soft play is a priority

Notice that afternoon of reading, painting, or spending time in nature? It’s what we know at One of many as "soft play". Time spent doing things you love to do, not because they’re something you’re paid or rewarded for but simply because they fill your soul.

Many of us really struggle to make time that’s just for us. But Churchill’s a great example of a leader who knew that his “hobbies” helped free his mind and allowed him to access the prolific fluency with which he dictated his books, articles and leadership decisions.

What do you regularly make time for to bring you delight, distraction and enjoyment – just for you?

3. Understand your cycles – and work with them

You might look at that morning in bed, or the restful afternoon, and assume that this is a person who doesn’t get much done. But when we consider that Churchill sometimes worked until 3 or 4 in the morning, it becomes clear that this is someone deeply in tune with their natural rhythms.

You might not be someone who could write thousands of words until the small hours of the morning, especially after a long dinner. But there will be times of the day when you’re naturally in flow, and really able to hit your stride. How confident do you feel to put things on hold when you’re not at your best, so that you’re raring to go when it’s time to get going?

Soft power in action

The quintessential image of Churchill is the “British Bulldog” – a portly, dogged statesman with cigar clamped between his teeth. He's often seen as the epitome of masculinity – the great leader who steered his country to victory in a world war.

And yet these characteristics demonstrate a far more feminine model of leadership. Not female, note. Men can access this “soft power” too, just as women can be guided by a more linear, masculine way of working.

What’s fascinating to note is just how effective, impactful and successful Churchill was able to be with this style of leadership. If you’ve worried that doing things a different way might reduce your impact or curtail your chances of leaving a meaningful legacy, perhaps this might help you think again.

A note on privilege

Winston Churchill was an aristocrat, born into the elite governing class. He enjoyed immense inherited wealth, and lived on a country estate well served by dedicated staff. Although he had 5 children, I doubt that he was the one arranging doctor’s appointments, chasing missing shoes, or soothing chicken pox. And his desire to serve his country was aided by his world class education, stellar network and unshakeable self confidence.

As a white, upper class man it’s important not to overlook the systemic support Churchill enjoyed from birth. But it’s also true that, compared to millions of people in the world, most of us enjoy lives of great privilege too. If you’ve had access to food and clean water; been educated, and have the freedom to earn money and make decisions about your own life, you’re also enjoying great fortune.

How are you choosing to use it?

Soft power – where to start

If you like the thought of doing thing a different way, but aren’t sure where you’d start, why not have a look at Taking Charge?

It’s a free online workshop that will help you discover why Superwoman isn’t working for so many of us, and how you can start to do things differently.

Click here to get access to this virtual training now. 

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Guest post: 5 reasons women are still taking a back seat in their own careers

By

Erica Sosna

Erica Sosna

Founder | Creator | Storyteller

Erica Sosna is the creator of The Career Equation® and CEO of Career Matters. She has 20 years of expertise in leadership, employee engagement and career management and is author of Your Life Plan (Wiley) and the forthcoming Career Equation (2021). Her clients include: Capital One, Mastercard, Savills and Dassault Systemes .
Erica Sosna

Latest posts by Erica Sosna (see all)

Women in the workplace. We’re fierce. We’re doing great things. Our mothers and several generations of ancestors fought hard for us to have a seat at the table.

I’m 41. I’m of the generation that was told we could do anything we set our minds to. That the glass ceiling was no longer relevant for us. Yet, as a careers coach for professional women, I experience that we have yet to overcome the challenges that face us.

I’d like to share a bit with you about my experience of the challenges we face in defining, driving and owning our careers and a simple model I think can really help define our career paths and establish a solid starting point for effective career conversations.

If you want to know more about career conversations, then you can find out more by downloading our free guide at the bottom of this article.

But first, let’s agree on the obstacles.

A lack of generational opportunity

We were told anything is possible. Yet the gender pay gap, numbers of senior women in major organisations and the discrimination cases of #MeToo tell us that this not the whole story. Many workplaces were designed by men, for men, so the way that opportunities arise and are allocated doesn’t always give women a dignified and level playing field. We end up trying to be Superwoman and it’s not sustainable; our health and relationships suffer.

Poor career advice

Poor careers advice early on in life meant many of us didn’t get to align a deep level of self-knowledge with the opportunities in the world of work. Thus, most of us fell into our careers rather than chose them. Imagine how different your career path might have been if you’d known about the Women’s Powertypes™, for example, when you were deciding which path to take.

This lack of support leaves us as women potentially confused and doubtful about whether we made the right choices.

Lisa Harris from the Open University expressed what so many women experience;

“I was inhibiting myself with my own preconceived ideas about what my career should/could look like in the future.”

Traditional views on careers

Until the last decade a career was defined by long-term period of stability spent in one or two organisations, following an established track into becoming an expert at senior level in your chosen profession. You didn’t have to think too much about it because your company decided on your future for you.

In the new world, the job for life is err… dead.

New roles are cropping up all the time. Job titles are becoming more and more abstract. The work we most need to do may not have existed a decade ago. We’ve got flexible working, remote working, fixed term contracts and we need to be a whole lot more adaptable so we can redefine and reposition ourselves as the world of work changes.

What is success?

In this new world, the question of how you even define success becomes more and more important. We have been traditionally taught that success is about more money, seniority or status. It’s about ambition and climbing the greasy pole. But what if success is unique for each of us? And defined more by the experiences we want to have and the kind of life we want to lead?

Gilly Orr, now working as a Fund Development Director for Social and Sustainable Capital told us;

“I didn’t realise it was possible to find a job I was both good at and that would make me happy.”

How can we hear ourselves think about what truly matters to us and connect to it in a world that has got increasingly ‘loud’, bombarding us with media and messaging about how our work and lives are ‘supposed’ to be?

Changing aspirations over time

The fact is, that this definition also changes over time. Maybe a role with lots of travel was fantastic when you were twenty but is exhausting as you approach mid-life. What we find fulfilling evolves as we do and as life circumstances and priorities shift, we need a way to re-evaluate where work sits within our wider life context.

Additional to these obstacles is the way we as women hold ourselves back.

Stephanie Aitken, an In-House Trainer with One of many who also runs her own successful corporate coaching and training business told us:

“In my experience there are 3 key things that hold women back from wanting to step up in their career, I call them the “3Cs”.

They are:

  • Capability – I doubt I have enough skills or expertise to do the role
  • Congruence – I fear I’ll burnout and/or lose precious time with my family
  • Confidence – I struggle to share my ideas with conviction and claim my place at the table.”

With all this stacked against us, it’s clear we need tools to help us define and own our careers.

What is a career anyway?

At Career Matters, we define a career as a series of choices that explore how you align your gifts with how you spend your time and earn your money.

To navigate these choices effectively and thus feel empowered and in charge of your own career path, you need 3 things:

  • To be able to define what success means to you
  • Selection criteria for roles and opportunities based on that definition
  • To know what value you add and where you do your best work.

The Career Equation®

The Career Equation® is a simple word equation which helps define the four components of a fulfilling career. I am sharing the model with you so you can build your own equation and use it to define the work that best suits you.

Here’s how it works:

Skills

We say people are happiest when they work in an area of skill or strength.

When you do something you are good at and aim to become exceptional at it, you will experience a good deal of satisfaction.

Passions

We want to apply these key skills to an area of interest or ‘passion’.

Passion relates to subjects that arouse your curiosity or enjoyment. It also applies to behaviours or activities that cause you to feel so absorbed you lose track of time – for instance solving problems or making art.

Lizzie Clark is a print fashion designer and hit upon the value of recognising her passions;

“I found the knowledge of myself so powerful. It really is as simple as selecting the aspects I love and thrive with to create something I can refer to for focus and direction.”

When you apply your skills to an area of interest or to a passion, your satisfaction and your results grow. This is amplified even further when the goal or objective of our work lines up with our values. This is what we call impact.

Impact

We all define and measure our success in different ways. So it makes sense for you to understand how you define success and get clear on how you will track it. Understanding your Women’s Powertype Profile™ can be invaluable here. Do you want flexibility to work on your own terms? Being a leader in your field? Or the chance to deliver real results to customers?

These top three elements of The Career Equation® help you identify who you are and what matters to you. This clarity can be enhanced or compromised by the fourth element – the ground beneath your feet – we call this your level of ‘environmental fit. ‘

Environmental Fit

When a working style, culture, office environment or pace of work suits your personality, you thrive. When the two are not in alignment, you can struggle. It is important that you have the self-knowledge to know in what context you do your best work. Some elements of the environment can be open to change. Others are pretty fixed across the entire business. For example, you might be able to gain more autonomy by asking for it or moving to a different area but you may not be able to change the IT infrastructure!

The Career Equation® can help you identify what’s working and what needs adjustment. It can also help you articulate the kinds of work you are looking for. And best of all, it will give you clarity about what you really want out of work, so you can go and get it!

How to Use the Career Equation® to Manage and Review Your Career Path

The Career Equation® works because it separates the four elements that shape your ideal career path.

  1. Begin by making four lists under the four elements of Skills, Passion, Impact and Environment. Notice where there is common ground. What do you currently use or under-use?
  2. Next consider your current work. If you were going to change anything in your work to better fit with your list of requirements, what would you change and why?
  3. Last, think about your top 3 criteria in each category. If you were to brainstorm new roles or new work that suited these criteria, what would your career path and life design look like?

And if you know your Women’s Powertype Profile™, you can incorporate the self-knowledge that gives you into The Career Equation®. It’s a powerful way of identifying your gifts; helping you achieve more whilst staying true to yourself.

Stephanie reinforces this by saying

“I’ve seen time and again how the PowerTypes™ give women access to resources they didn’t realise they had, helping them overcome obstacles and powerfully drive their career forward. Such as the Queen’s ability to communicate clearly and decisively, the Warrioress’ self-belief and determination to take action and the Lover’s commitment to self-care so that she remains healthy and resilient.”

About the Career Equation®

The Career Equation® is one year old! In 2019 alone it helped 1,200 people understand their personal definition of success, helping them find a fulfilling career path.

Kirsty Riglar from Dorset Council worked through The Career Equation® and told us she loved the way “it provided me with a variety of tools that let me focus on what I can do and what I want to do in terms of my own career development.”

Learn how to use The Career Equation® for more engaging and usable career conversations in your company with our FREE guide.

It’s full of new ideas, interesting facts and guidance. It also has a template email to help you get started with your career conversations and an editable planner so you can plan and implement your own career conversations in 2020.

Use this information as a signpost or map, coming back to it periodically to check your career is moving in the direction you want it to move in. Your career is a series of choices; you alone have the power to change it for the better.

Download it here.

About Erica

Founder | Creator | Storyteller

Erica Sosna is the creator of The Career Equation® and CEO of Career Matters. She has 20 years of expertise in leadership, employee engagement and career management and is author of Your Life Plan (Wiley) and the forthcoming Career Equation (2021). Her clients include: Capital One, Mastercard, Savills and Dassault Systemes .

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How to help someone who can’t make a decision

By

Joanna Martin

Joanna Martin

Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

We’re all facing information overload these days. Trouble is, that information – whether it comes as emails, texts, tasks or questions – all to often demands action. Is it any wonder so many of us feel like we can't make a decision?

Big or small, profound or banal, our days are a series of choices. All of them take energy and time, and the longer they sit on your list the more they can start to feel that they’re sapping valuable brainpower. Yet sometimes the more pressure there is to take action, the more trapped you feel: as though you just can’t make a decision.

So knowing how to move forward when you can’t make a decision is a godsend. And this simple 4 step process is one you can share with every woman you know.

When it comes to supporting your clients, team or friends, sharing a step-by-step flow to make decisions with ease can be one of the most effective ways to make a difference.

You don’t need any expertise on what it is they’re choosing when you can help them access their inner ability to move forward. And it can make a serious difference to their effectivness.

So, without further ado, here are 4 steps to take for anyone who can’t make a decision:

4 steps to follow if you can’t make a decision

#1 Identify what’s happening

This sounds obvious, but it’s crucial. And surprisingly common to miss.

So many of us don’t recognise we’re lost in “analysis paralysis” until we’re way down the rabbithole of different options – the consequences of choosing X; the possible repercussions of Y; the strategic implications of Z.

If someone else comes to you they’ll often start by presenting you with a whole list of possibilities, or a simple cry for help: I have no idea what to do next!

Taking a moment to frame what’s happening – what decision needs to be made – is really important.

Listen to what’s being said, and clearly reflect back the decision that’s being asked.

Right. I need to decide how to respond to that client’s complaint.

So you have to choose what you’re going to be doing for Christmas, and let your family know.

Sounds to me as though it’s time to make a decision about what you want from the future of your relationship.

#2 Step back – and become the Queen

Just getting that clarity is often enough to get rid of some of the panic, and move towards taking action.

The next step is to put yourself firmly in the best possible mindset to make your choice.

Who's in charge right now? We all have many different sides to us, not all of which are helpful. See if any of these sound familiar:

  • The good girl
  • The people-pleaser
  • The high-achiever
  • The perfectionist

One of the hallmarks of “analysis paralysis” is the sensation of going round in circles, listening to the “chorus” of roles in our minds and trying desperately to make a decision by committee.

But you only need ONE wise, trusted inner voice to make a decision.

How can you connect to that voice?

At One of many we use 5 Women’s PowerTypes when it comes to resourcing our leadership from within. And top of the decision-making tree is the Queen.

Queens by their nature are responsible for making lots of decisions. But they’re also uniquely able to make those choices confidently. They’re infallible, after all – divinely appointed, unquestioned, and respected.

So, when you’re finding it challenging to move forward, take a deep breath and play with the idea of being the “Queen”. Maybe even mime donning your crown or fastening your robe – by all means, have some fun with this!

What if ANY choice you made was guaranteed to be right?

As the Queen, you can’t make a wrong decision when you act wisely and calmly. Take a moment to imagine how things would feel if you believed that to be true.

#3 What do you know in your heart?

This powerful question is the next vital step towards taking action. It might sound fluffy – especially if you’re not used to consulting your “heart” when it comes to big choices – but it’s actually the opposite.

When we try to predict the future, we get tangled up in knots. We think we’re being logical, rational and measured. But the truth is, none of us know exactly what’s going to happen. What we do is tell ourselves stories; and those stories can be incredibly persuasive.

By framing the question in this way, you allow yourself to let go of that “overthinking” brain and tap into a part of yourself that’s centred.

When you ask “what do I know in my heart” you move the focus from outcomes you can’t possible predict, to wisdom you can be sure of having.

Put it on paper, and you’re ready for step 4.

#4 Ask yourself, do I have enough information to make this decision?

The beauty of this process is that, by the time you get to this step, you’re in calm mode.

You’re trusting yourself; you’ve connected to your wise, infallible self, and you’ve noted down all that you know to be true.

The next question is a yes/no one. Do I have enough information to make this decision?

The answer might be yes. When you’ve looked at the situation through fresh eyes, you can see what needs to be done, even if it’s an action you’ve been avoiding. Note down what that action is – and do it

If no, then it’s clear why you haven’t been able to make the decision. But again, the key is to take action. Identify exactly what information you need – could be another person’s opinion, some facts or figures, or more data on the implications of a certain course – and take action straight away to get the information you need.

When you’ve made the decision

Celebrate! The relief of moving into action and no longer feeling the weight of a choice “hanging over you” cannot be underestimated.

Side effects include powering through the rest of your list, suddenly breathing more deeply than you have in weeks, and feeling able to make a whole bunch of other choices with ease. That’s the power of getting your Queen on, baby!

You’ll never know what might have happened if you’ve chosen differently. So don’t waste any time second guessing yourself. A Queen would never doubt the wisdom of her decision in the moment.

But it’s important to remember that any decision will have consequences. So you do need to pay attention to the feedback you get from your decision. If you’re walking someone else through this process, it might be helpful to prepare them for this:

"So you’ve decided what you’re going to do. Now you’ll get to see how they respond/ what happens next / how you feel about this."

And when you have that information, you can take the next appropriate action, knowing you can trust that you made the best possible decision you could to get to this place.

Do you want to help more women trust themselves to make powerful decisions?

If you’d like to practice this decision-making process in person, and learn how you can use the tool with others to create powerful results, join me for Essential Skills for Coaching Women.

It’s just one of the coaching tools I’ll be teaching in person at this live one day workshop, happening in London on 21st November or Manchester on 29th.

I’d love to see you there in person – click here to book your ticket.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Why self care is a priority for leaders

By

Joanna Martin

Joanna Martin

Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

For leaders who are serious about having the impact they want to on the world, self care is a priority that’s not to be ignored. I don’t just mean leaders in the ‘traditional’ sense – CEOs, politicians, founders. If you want to set a great example to your kids; be a force for change in your team, organization or small business or simply feel proud to set your own course in life, this needs to be at the top of the list.

Self care and soft power

Soft Power is the term we use at One of many to encompass a whole range of principles and behaviours, which together form a new paradigm of female leadership.

Top of the list?

Soft Power principle #1: First, replenish yourself.

It’s the mantra our team repeat to ourselves when things get hectic; it’s what our coaches teach their clients; it’s what the leaders in our programs support each other to do, time and again.

And yet, something funny happens when we start to understand the importance of taking good care of ourselves. If you’re not careful, you can begin to notice some unhelpful behaviours creeping in…

3 reasons self care can slip down the list

1. Perfectionism creeps in

You don’t have the full hour you wanted to go to that yoga class… so instead you stay slumped on the sofa, scrolling through your phone.

The heavens open right before your grand hike in the countryside – may as well catch up on some work emails instead, right?

Or you commit to sessions at the local pool, since swimming’s the one place you can clear your head, only you need a new costume. And nothing fits. So that time to yourself slips quietly off the calendar, never to return…

Part of our challenges around self care can often come when we imagine a “perfect” scenario for what that self care will look like. Uninterrupted quiet, a partner who’s thrilled to give us time to ourselves, a world that runs smoothly and on time. It doesn’t exist, right?

  • Are you letting perfectionism get in the way of doing any kind of self care at all?
  • How could you consciously choose to lower the bar and make “good enough” self care better than none at all?

2. Superwoman takes over

Superwoman is the archetype of our times. She’s the high achieving, always-on, success-at-all-costs woman who to put it bluntly, is on a fast track to burnout.

Sometimes, she shows up in our self care with a focus on competition and “success”.

Never mind going for a walk – she wants to sign up for a marathon, and set a ridiculous sponsorship goal while she’s at it. If you’re thinking of eating a bit more healthily, she’ll be the voice in your head telling you nothing but a 3-month juice fast will do. And so on…

Take a moment to think about how you’re taking care of yourself. Is it in ways that feel delicious, restorative and precious to you? Or has Superwoman snuck in and slipped on your cape?

  • Try brainstorming a quick list of 5 minute ways to practice self care. Deep breathing, a mindful cup of tea, a stretch, a silly text to a friend… what would fill you up?
  • Set three alarms throughout the day, and pick one from the list. Setting micro-goals like this can help disrupt Superwoman, and start building the habit you need.

3. Life takes over

Probably the most common reason we find ourselves in bad habits when it comes to self care is a very prosaic one. Life just… happens. We make good resolutions, create time, feel great. Then there’s a work crisis, a family drama, or you get super excited about a new project – and before you know it, the calendar fills up.

We all move through cycles and seasons of busyness and activity in our lives.

Don’t beat yourself up, if you’re noticing that things have slipped slightly.

Do take the opportunity to check in with yourself, and take action if you need to.

Hold yourself accountable, and schedule in self care like the priority it is.

Use those around you to support you: Tell a colleague you’re going out at lunch; join a class or book in for a massage.

The overlooked side of self care

One thing it’s important to remember is that self care doesn’t always look like those stereotypical images of long baths or massages.

  • Sometimes, self care might mean getting training in an area of life that’s making you anxious, whether it’s your relationship or your finances.
  • It’s asking for help from your boss when you’re sinking under your schedule; not checking email when you’ve finished work.
  • Saying no, even when it’s met with resistance.

Self care is fundamentally taking care of you – and other people won’t always be happy with that. Managing their reactions, and holding fast to your own priorities, is an art that leaders must cultivate.

You might have heard me talk about self care from the perspective of the Lover PowerType – this beautiful, magnetic, sensual aspect of female leadership.

And it’s true; self care can mean gorgeous robes, spa days and walks in nature; it arises spontaneously when we’re deeply connected to our love for ourselves and our own needs.

But self care is just as applicable when we’re accessing our “Queen” PowerType – decisive, strategic and making the best decisions for her “realm”.

After all, for a Queen to be Queen and leading her realm, she has to prioritize self care.

You can’t have a burnt out, overwhelmed, knackered Queen.

So what does she require her realm to do? Get her the best doctors, chiropractors, nurses and dentists – the best possible care in the realm – to look after her.

She has to accept that as part of her duty, if she’s going to be able to be the figurehead she needs to be.

Every leader needs to take self care seriously

Need a hand setting boundaries?

If you could do with some support to create effective boundaries without feeling like you’re letting people down, take a look at Enough is Enough.

It’s our free guide to creating unshakeable boundaries with grace, and you can download it right now by clicking here.

How are you doing… really?

Let’s have a quick check in, ladies – how are things with you right now? Flat out and flailing, achieving what you need to with grace, or somewhere in between?

Share in the comments, and leave a message of support for anyone who could do with a hand. We’re all in this together!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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How to use stories to create change

By

Joanna Martin

Joanna Martin

Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

If you’ve ever gone to the movies and found yourself so involved with a character that it feels as though watching their journey has actually shifted something in your own life, you’ll know what I mean by the power of story. We learn, we get inspired, we transform… all from the stories we’re told, or the ones we tell ourselves. Today I want to share some of what I’ve learned about how to use stories to create change, so that you can begin to apply it in your own life and work.

Story is an extraordinarily powerful tool. We remember stories far longer than we remember any points that have ever been taught to us. So storytelling is something that I have spent a lot of time studying and learning and practicing over the years.

If you have a vision to create real change in the world, today I invite you to think about how story could play a part in that.

Why stories work

If you’ve been to one of our live events you’ll know that we always start with stories – often opening with the start of a tale, and closing it at the end. It’s one way we weave a little bit of magic into the experience, and it’s a key focus for our One of many Certified Trainers when they learn how to create extraordinary experiences for groups.

As human beings, we naturally create stories to explain our experiences. When you think about it your life is really just a series of moments. Our perception of our lives as being journeys connected by meaning – I did X, so I learned Y, and became Z – is in the narrative our minds create.

We weave a story to make meaning of what this series of events could tell us, about us and about the world and about others.

Sometimes they’re empowering stories and sometimes they’re disempowering stories.

You could be telling yourself a story right now, reading this article.

You could be telling yourself that you’re connecting with me, a woman called Jo who has something that she wanted to share with you. Maybe this is a story about sharing and sisterhood.

You might tell yourself that you’re taking a few minutes to read these ideas and to absorb some wisdom that’s going to help you grow, perhaps in ways you don’t yet know, or won’t know until you need it.

Or you could tell a remarkably different story about this moment – maybe you’re berating yourself for “wasting time”, telling yourself a story about how easily distracted you are.

It’s really just a choice you make of how you want to link these pieces of your experience together.

Using storytelling as a leader

So the first part of discovering the power of story is to be conscious that you’re always making stories and that those in your team are always making stories too.

From a leadership perspective, there’s a part of us that takes responsibility for the stories that her team are making from the events that occur.

It’s the Women’s PowerType we call Sorceress. When she’s in leadership she knows that she is accountable for the stories that her team are making. And that it is her job to make sure that whenever events happen, that she takes charge of the stories that are made.

A couple of years ago we ran a retreat where the place we were staying was completely snowed in. Actually, it was one of 3 retreats that year where we found ourselves in the midst of epic snowfalls. I’m sure there are some stories I could make about that!

By the time we came to our closing session for our Lead the Change participants on Sunday, the outlook was pretty grim. We were hearing one by one that the roads were closed, taxis weren’t running, trains had been cancelled, airports were closed…

As you can imagine, our team were faced with a big challenge.

We had lots of material to cover, for which we needed the participants to be present and receptive. But the fact is, for most of our community just taking a couple of days away from home and work is a big thing. It takes a lot of rearranging. So the prospect of being stranded for an extra night, even if it was at a perfectly comfortable hotel and spa, was a pretty distracting one.

One of my first jobs, then, was to find the narrative. Not to ignore what was happening, not to let things sink into panic, but find the possible narratives there could be and reframe them in a way that enabled us to be present and feel safe and supported.

That’s what the sorceress leader knows. She thinks “There’s a narrative here. Let’s take charge of what it is.” She’ll think through the possible stories, and take charge of the narrative that her team agree to tell themselves. From there, we can find unexpected possibility.

How do you use story?

Have you come to one of our events and experienced the power of story? Or perhaps you’ve shared your own story, and seen the effect it can have to inspire and empower others. Share your story in the comments below.

In fact, we will remember stories far longer than we remember any points that have ever been taught to us.

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Your personality type and leadership: a new perspective

By

Joanna Martin

Joanna Martin

Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

If you’re curious about what makes you tick there are a whole host of different tests and profiles out there, each of which can bring their own insight. The Women’s PowerTypes offer a fresh perspective, that’s designed specifically to enhance and enlighten women in leadership roles of any kind. If you’re a woman who’s interested in your personality type and leadership, then I’d love to introduce you to the 5 Women’s PowerTypes, and explain a bit more about how you can use them to guide your growth.

Personality type and leadership

We don’t believe that your personality or leadership can be reduced to a single “type”. As I explain in the video, the 5 Women’s PowerTypes are different ways of being that all of us have access to.

But you will probably find that certain PowerTypes come more naturally to you than others.

And that can have crucial implications for how you can expand and broaden your leadership capacity, without losing sight of who you are.

In this 4 minute video, I share:

  • The 5 Women’s PowerTypes, their different characteristics and typical expressions.
  • Common misconceptions about the PowerTypes, and what to bear in mind.
  • A personal example of how I’ve applied the PowerTypes to better understand my challenges as a leader – and what I do now to overcome them.

Would you like to find out more?

For many of us, one of the best places to start when it comes to understanding the PowerTypes is by getting in touch with Queen. She’s the part of you that sets clear boundaries, is clear about what she wants, and gracefully accepts the support and help she needs to bring her vision to life.

To learn how you can start to embrace your Queen PowerType, click the link below to download our free guide:

Enough is Enough: How to gracefully set unshakeable boundaries.

In it, I’ll explain how you can get in touch with Queen and start to bring more of her energy into your life. It’s a great way to begin to get to know this powerful PowerType, and pave the way for more space to discover the other ways you can lead.

How about you?

Which of the 5 PowerTypes in the video resonate most with you? Is there one you feel instinctively drawn to – or one that you find yourself judging or rejecting? I’m so curious to know your response, especially if you haven’t come across them before.

Share your reaction in the comments.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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How to lead a team through change

By

Joanna Martin

Joanna Martin

Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

In turbulent times, powerful leadership is crucial. Perhaps you’re going through a big organizational restructure; have some near-impossible deadlines looming or are facing big changes in your family life. Today I want to share a slightly different approach to how to lead a team through change – which can prove hugely effective.

The importance of faith and trust

We’ve navigated some big changes in the business over the years, but one of my greatest personal tests as a leader came not at work, but at home. A while back, our family faced a huge and unexpected upheaval. We discovered that the lease on the long-term rental we’d lived in for years was ending – and we’d need to move house.

It was the same feeling you’ve probably experienced if you’ve ever been shaken by a bombshell in the workplace: The sudden loss of a major client; a restructure that puts jobs on the line or even a very positive, but all too fast, expansion. I knew I needed to help us stay focused and manage the inevitable upheaval – so what kind of leadership was called for in that moment?

When it comes to change, there are many options open to us as leaders. The Women’s PowerTypes we use at One of many give us clues to some of them:

  • Mother focuses on taking care of the team, acknowledging their emotions and creating a haven of safety and security amidst the chaos
  • Queen connects to her powerful vision, inspiring others to take bold action
  • Warrioress rolls up her sleeves and brings infectious energy and enthusiasm to making things happen

But today I want to draw your attention to a different form of leadership – that of the Sorceress.

Who is the Sorceress?

If you’re someone who usually pushes their way to their goals with sheer grit and determination, even the name of this PowerType might set your teeth on edge. So let’s take a minute to discover what we mean by the Sorceress.

For a lot of people, the word sorceress conjures up images of the esoteric – witches huddled round a cauldron, that sort of thing. If that’s your bag, that’s totally OK!

And – that’s not exclusively what we mean.

The name for this PowerType comes partly from the shorthand we like to use for divine, or our connection to the divine: Source.

You might refer to this in so many different ways: God, Allah, Goddess, Jesus, the Tao, the Oak Tree, the Universe, Quantum Physics, Nature.

It’s how you conceptualise the force that’s so much bigger than you; that gives you your energy and connects you to something far beyond your own perceived experience and understanding.

Many of the atheist and agnostic people I’ve coached, who might at first claim to have no spiritual connection at all, can immediately think of an environment or experience they find fulfilling in this way. Perhaps it’s staring up at the night sky; walking among breathtaking architecture or looking at the ocean.

The name Sorceress is a nod to this “Source”. And when you strengthen the relationship you have with Sorceress, the results can be incredibly profound – especially if it’s all been grit and determination. Here are some of the resources this PowerType can give you access to as a leader.

How to lead a team through change with Sorceress

1. Learn how to make miracles

Sorceress is the part of us which can manifest. Now, before you start rolling your eyes – I’m not talking about visualising a pile of money, putting your feet up, and letting “The Universe” do its work. (If you’ve figured out how to do that, go for it!).

But for the rest of us, I’m talking about the part of you that’s already manifesting tiny everyday miracles. You might call them luck, coincidence, serendipity, synchronicity.

The appointment that’s cancelled just when you need an extra hour, or the lights that mysteriously tun to green just when you’re running late.

The more you activate your inner sorceress, the more you can bring these small path-easers your way – smoothing your team’s capacity to adapt and roll with the punches.

2. Connect to faith and trust

One of Sorceress’s most powerful capabilities is her ability to maintain faith and trust that everything will work out for the best – whatever the outcome.

In our family’s sudden house move, it was my commitment to trusting that all would be well that allowed the rest of my family to relax, and see the change as a grand adventure rather than a devastating break.

When others see you trusting and letting go, they trust you too.

In a team environment, when the pressure’s on, individuals often start to unravel. Embodying deep faith can allow everyone to calm and ground themselves, so that they can access their talents and get on with their roles, trusting that as leader you’re confident that you’ll collectively achieve your aims.

3. Allow the team to experience your wisdom

It’s all very well tapping into that faith and trust, but why do those around you lean in so strongly when you’re in Sorceress? One quality I love about this PowerType is that she’s “Master of her chosen technologies”. I often think of her as the wiser, “older” part of us, and part of that wisdom is that she’s devoted to learning and mastering the things she’s really good at. 

When others see Sorceress in action, it inspires real awe and wonder. Often, she seems to achieve things effortlessly or “as if by magic”. If your team can’t believe how fast you come up with punchy communication, or are wowed by your “knack” for budget projections or people management, that’s Sorceress at work.

Sorceress comes up with incredible solutions and her team really value that, often deferring to her wisdom and following her advice. When times are tough, it’s the point at which Sorceress can help you to stop holding back and let your true ability to find creative solutions really shine.

How to cultivate your Sorceress leadership

If you’re ready to bring a bit more ease to your leadership, and tap into Sorceress, here are some ways to do so:

  • Spend some time reflecting on what connects you with Source. What is the divine for you? Has it changed, perhaps, from the concept you were brought up with? How conscious are you of maintaining and cultivating that connection?
  • Start thinking and thanking. Make a habit of ending each day thinking back over the coincidences, good fortune and, yes, miracles that have occurred – and feeling grateful for them. (If you’re not already a member of our BeOne community, click here to join for free and get access to our series of Soft PowerCasts – there’s a whole audio on this practice.)
  • Make some alone time. Sorceress is one of the most independent PowerTypes – she craves time by herself in a place where she can really feel that Source energy. How can you carve out some regular time to tune into the energy that’s more powerful than you, and rest into your intuitive side?

Curious about Sorceress and your leadership?

There are many other sides to the Sorceress – her creativity, her ability to facilitate transformation, and her ability to find extraordinary solutions. If you’d like to find out more about the Women’s PowerTypes, and your current relationship to Sorceress, take a look at the Women’s PowerTypes Profile.

Knowing your PowerTypes Profile will give you clear insight into the PowerTypes you currently use most, as well as the ones you could do with a little more support to access. It’s a powerful way to gain a fresh perspective on you strengths and challenges – especially useful if you’re heading into a time of change.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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What a toddler can teach you about how to manage anger

By

Joanna Martin

Joanna Martin

Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

If you’ve spent any time with a strong-willed young lady lately, you’ll know how utterly uninhibited toddlers can be when it comes to managing anger. My two year old daughter has no qualms when it comes to letting me know EXACTLY what she wants – and doesn’t want! – right now, with no holds barred. How many of us can say the same? Today it’s got me thinking about what a toddler can teach us about how to manage anger.

It’s rare that we see a grown woman really let rip, and in this video I’m unpacking some of the reasons behind that.

As well as sharing my own experience observing my little girl’s emerging leadership, I’m exploring:

  • Why our cultural conditioning plays such a big part in how we learn to express our emotions.
  • The unhelpful archetype you might find yourself slipping into – and why.
  • A graceful way to strongly express your needs and desires, whilst maintaining good relationships with those around you.

Why little girls never seem to listen

 

As leaders, we need to know how to manage anger – without losing our passion

Historically speaking, many of our global societies are only relatively recently emerging from a time when women had no voice at all. So speaking up, commanding respect and expressing our views is a challenge almost every female leader will have to navigate at some point.

I’d love to know your thoughts – have you ever found yourself repressing your emotions, only to have them burst out at a far less appropriate time? Have you noticed women in your workplace being treated differently from men when they spoke passionately about a subject?

Let us know in the comments below. This is such an important discussion, and I’d love to hear your voice in it.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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One of many Voices: Valerie Schlegel Stettler

By

Joanna Martin

Joanna Martin

Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

As a former stockbroker and self described “modern witch”, Valerie Schlegel Stettler is a living example of the many different facets women leaders can embody. Today, the One of many Certified Trainer and in-house coach shares her journey to authentic leadership on her own terms, as well giving us a peek into her daily routine…

What do you do?

I’m a leadership coach, facilitator and holistic mentor for women. My focus is helping women take their place in the world for the benefit of all genders. I work with clients on topics like financial knowledge, confidence, inner posture, intuition and joy.

I’ve always been very intuitive and highly sensitive – what I call my “Cassandra Syndrome“. A capacity for “seeing and sensing“ things that I now understand has helped me just as much as it has scared the hell out of me when I was very young! I often had a sense of what was right and (mostly) used it to make my decisions, but struggled to explain it in a logical way.

It felt like a part of me needed to be constantly hidden away, that it was not the “right” way to do it and that I could not be “all of me“.

In my current life, I am delighted to be able to use this talent and to help my clients connect to their feminine intuition and strengths to embrace all of what/who they are and to powerfully and happily BE in the world.

I’m honored to be a One of many Trainer and in-house Coach. Currently based in Germany, I interact in three languages (English, German and French) and I am looking to grow a local One of many community there.

Give us the big “why” you do what you do?

I was born in a feminist family and was told that I could do anything I wanted to… and so I did!

Before I was 35, I was a managing director at a leading investment bank responsible for a global trading and sales business.

I was working crazy hours and eventually nearly burned out. During this time, I had difficulties conceiving which is not so surprising when you experience that amount of stress and I eventually resigned and left the industry.

I was rewarded with two beautiful children AND this still left a bittersweet taste, as I would have liked to truly have the choice. It also left long-lasting “impressions” on me, at soul and body level. Even after becoming a coach, I would not intervene in financial services, “fearing” what I was projecting as a destructive energy there.

It took release work to lose that fear, and to see the advantages that I was bringing when I allowed myself to facilitate in these environments that I know so well.

This is why I accompany women and also pass on the message to men and companies that it is important to allow for a change in the way women do what they do.

It’s also why I was so happy when I discovered One of many. One of many has created such useful tools along with an amazing community of like-minded women. Through the training and deep work, I am living my life at a higher intensity without needing to make up some drama to feel alive. Today, I am truly playing with many keys on the piano and it is fun, powerful, full of love and sustainable!

What’s your daily routine?

Each day is a bit different depending on whether I’m facilitating at a company, speaking, delivering a workshop or coaching virtually from home.

My children are almost grown up now, so the morning routine has become pretty simple. On my part, I get up and do my morning pages. This is part of my daily routine and I miss it if I skip it for a couple of days. I observe my brain getting too full and I become unsettled.

I then take my dog for a long walk, shower, and make a point of being at my desk (I work from home) by 9:00 am. I take a break at lunchtime to eat and nap and often go for a shorter walk before getting back to work. I coach 2-3 times a week in the evenings as this is my clients’ preferred time – so I make sure to have replenishing time during the day.

What demands do you balance every day in conjunction with your work?

My main “balancing act” is with myself! As I work from home, I have to be very conscious to separate working hours from family hours. I have to develop all sorts of strategies to preserve my working energy mode. It starts when I go to the bathroom and the cat comes purring because he would love a cuddle or some food 🙂 I am now planning on renting an office space, just to increase my concentration and productivity.

How do you juggle all the demands on you?

I have a husband who is absolutely pro-woman, and we share all life admin chores. That was an essential quality for me in a partner, so I probably scared away those who would have wanted it a different way 😀

What I’ve found to be rare unfortunately, but so important, is that beyond loving me, he has always been very supportive and proud of my professional accomplishments. It is probably our secret: we truly admire each other’s successes as much as we support each other when the going gets tough.

How do femininity and Soft Power feature in your business/career?

In my corporate time, I forbid myself to show my feminine side because I wanted to be taken seriously for my work and not for my boobs. That was as exhausting as reductive.

Now, the more I practice being in the PowerType energies the more I feel femininely strong and beautiful.

It gives me a lot of confidence, in a cheeky way and this is important at all ages of course but going now through menopause, becoming a crone, it helps me own it.

I decided to let my hair grow grey naturally a couple of months ago, and not cut it short. It is going to take about three years until the color is grown out. I’m embracing that period as a time of metamorphosis. Just as puberty, you don’t fall into it within weeks. It is a long process and if you let it, a beautiful one.

For me, it is more than just appearance, it is taking a stand to encourage others. A twinkle of the eye: “I see you sister!”.

Do you think people around you (on social media, and face to face) understand who you authentically are?

I love encouraging my clients to see and embrace “all of them“. You are much more than just a mum, or just a lawyer or a banker, or just a woman loving woman or just… the list goes on. We are so many things and this is what makes us so unique. It actually feels so good to be able to show all of oneself, to love all of oneself, to leverage all of oneself…

That can be hard to do “on paper” such as when writing a website, (as I am at the moment!) or on social media.

On the other hand, I also believe people see a lot more of you than you think. I once experienced a training exercise in which people were asked to describe what they saw in you after just a day and a half spent together (we were strangers before). I was amazed by how accurately they described me and how clearly I could describe them!

And this is why it is good and important to be authentic and to allow oneself to be vulnerable – because people see it anyway 😉 Vulnerability is like a little door to our true self, to our heart, where we are good by essence. When we do open that door to others, we allow them to do the same to us.

Do you exercise your #righttobesoft in your workplace? If so, how?

Yes, all the time. I am in soft power when I coach, interact or speak. I do a lot of embodiment which requires me to be in the energy of the PowerTypes, and I love doing this. My clients get so much out of this exercise.

With time, I am more and more consciously connect with the PowerType I want to be in. A couple of days ago, I had a conversation with a person I wanted to get to know “beyond the surface“ because she is responsible for a business that might potentially impact mine. I consciously deeply connected to my Lover energy and within minutes she was relaxing and opening up and that allowed me to better judge whether or not I wanted to be involved.

What’s one “breakthrough” you have had in your life, that shifted the way you saw things – how did it impact those around you?

A big breakthrough for me was to become a coach. It finally gave me the tools to do what I was doing naturally for years already. It showed me that I could work WITH people and not AGAINST them. In investment banking, it feels like it is always “you against the rest of the world” (the benchmark, your fellow traders, the market, the competition,…). AND it allowed me to use that so important part of me, my intuitive sensitive part.

 

Thanks so much, Valerie!

About Valerie

Modern witch | Numbers whisperer | Hippo collector

To find out more about Valerie and connect, click the links below:

Facebook page: Full You With Joy

Website: www.valerieschlegel.com

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Why the climate crisis needs female leaders

By

Joanna Martin

Joanna Martin

Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Climate change is perhaps the biggest challenge we’re currently facing as a planet. The scientists have spoken; the technology to turn things around is there.

What we need now are leaders who are ready to make the bold, and perhaps unpopular decisions that will create the change we need.

Whether or not you “believe” the evidence, the level of risk alone should be enough to compel us all to take action.

In my latest blog on joannamartin.com I explain why I think it’s now on our shoulders as leaders, big or small, to turn our knowledge into action.

“Nature gives so much to us. Not just beauty – but life.

The science is clear – our current lifestyle and treatment of her is unsustainable.

And it’s up to all of us: politicians, grassroots leaders, people who care of every ilk – to take personal steps to change our own actions and other’s minds.

We will not get there with only those who are already aware making changes. I believe we have a duty to change the hearts and minds of others too.”

Click here to read the full article – and please, share this with as many people as you can.

It’s up to each of us to do our part.