One of Many

Woman looking to create change

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Guest blog: Just use the lotion! (How to put yourself first)

By

Helen Reynolds
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Helen Reynolds
Image Consultant | Professional Shopper | Blogger | Mum of two boys | Sock Washer |Confidence Booster
Helen Reynolds
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If you’re familiar with the 5 Women’s PowerTypes, the 5 archetypes of powerful feminine leadership, you might be one of many women who could do with boosting her Lover PowerType. Lover is the leadership archetype who delights in beauty and pleasure, and knows putting herself first is one of the most important ways she can grow her impact.

The biggest excuse I hear from women who want to increase their access to their Lover PowerType is this…

“I don’t have time to think about myself.”

Are you spending every waking hour making sure everyone else is OK to the detriment of yourself?

How long does it really take to smother your gorgeous body with that delicious body cream you got for Christmas? You know, the one you’ve been saving for a special occasion (when in reality it’ll remain on the bathroom shelf, gathering dust for years and then when you finally open it, it’ll smell a bit fusty..).

I timed myself this morning. It took me less than 20 seconds. I even found time to massage the cream into the soles of my feet.

Message: Use the lotion!

I want you to know that looking after your appearance isn’t frivolous or selfish or a waste of time.

It’s a way to respect yourself and your beautiful body. Remember that when you feel good, you have more to give. So today, let’s talk about how to put yourself first.

What makes you feel good?

Maybe using the lotion doesn’t feel like your way of feeling good, but I wonder what is?

Here are some alternative ideas for you to pick from (but please don’t pick one, pick as many as you can. I dare you!).

1. Choose your underwear deliberately.

Wear your nice knickers (even if nobody else will ever know).

2. Mix it up!

When you pick out your clothes for the day, make yourself choose something you haven’t worn for a while. Something else that you save for best perhaps.

3. Adorn yourself

Choose a piece of jewellery or a scarf from your extensive but neglected collection. Even wearing a ring that catches your eye throughout the day can feel good.

4. Use your lipstick

If a thick layer of bold lipstick feels too conspicuous for you, pop it on then blot it off to almost nothing. This creates a lip stain that can stay around for a surprisingly long time. Some women find a bit of colour on their lips works wonders (I have proof, I’m one of them). Give it a go and notice what a difference it makes to you. Does it make your eyes shine more brightly?

5. Wear your perfume

If you have a few bottles lurking around, decide how you’d like to feel today and choose the one that most reflects that.

6. Get painting

Find 20 minutes today or this week to do a mini-mani, heck do a pedi too whilst you are at it. Whether you’re a clear varnish person or a glorious, sexy red, you’ll notice your nails throughout the day, giving you a constant reminder that you looked after yourself – just for a minute.

7. Add an afternoon boost

Some women can get ready in the morning and still look pretty presentable by dinner. Most of us can’t! After your lunch, spend 5 minutes refreshing yourself. Brush your hair, wipe the smudged eye make-up away. Top up the lippy and spritz yourself with your perfume.

Why does this matter?

I’ve long been fascinated with the connection between how we feel and how we behave – which also has an impact on how we are seen but that’s another story…

This past 12 months, many of us have ditched taking care of ourselves as ‘unnecessary’. If no one else is going to see us, why bother?

But think about this. When you’ve had your hair done and your hairdresser has done a particularly good job, how do you feel? When you step outside the salon, how do you walk down the street?

Quietly and slowly with your head down?

Or head held high, longer strides and ready to break into a smile at the first cheery face your eyes meet?

I call this feeling ‘bouncy’. If you haven’t felt bouncy for a while, you really need to start giving your appearance some TLC. Not because you HAVE to look a certain way, but because when you feel good, you bounce. And when you feel bouncy, you are more likely to find the joy in life.

Dress for you and everyone else benefits too

My passion is supporting women to dress in a way that makes them look and feel like the very best version of themselves. This doesn’t mean always being dolled up to the nines, being suited and booted or wearing spanx every day.

I dress a woman for who she is inside and how she wants to be seen. I’ve been through this transformation myself and know that feeling good in your clothes isn’t actually about the clothes.

Of course, I know how to dress a woman in outfits that fit and flatter and are true to their style, but the reason I love this work SO much is because of the unexpected outcome of great style. When my clients undergo their personal style transformation, they feel more confident, they make better and closer connections with their friends, family and colleagues or clients and they want to be more visible. Whether in life or business, they seize opportunities, get out there and lead a bigger more fulfilling life.

How will you put yourself first?

So please use the lotion – or some of my other tips, and notice how it makes you feel. Leave a comment here on the blog and let’s share the joy of helping yourself to feel good (and bouncy!).

About Helen

Helen Reynolds: How to build inner confidenceHelen is a stand for feeling fabulous instead of looking fashionable – because when you feel good, you look good. For female business leaders who dare to express who they really are – and need their wardrobes to catch up and support them in shining bright.

Find out how to up-level your personal style with Helen’s free video series ‘5 style tips to look your most fabulous self.’

www.helenreynoldsstyle.com/tips

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Guest blog: How to stop standing on the sidelines

By

Nadia Finer
Nadia Finer
Boxer with a legendary left hook | Daughter of an inventor | Shycologist at Shy and Mighty
I’m Nadia Finer, and I’m on a softly-spoken mission to help shy people be more mighty. I know what it’s like to struggle with shyness. You see, all my life I’ve had a little voice. Really little. The kind of voice that makes random people tell me that I should be a cartoon voice-over actress. A voice so little that when strangers ring my house phone, they ask me to put my mum on the phone. It’s no wonder I’m often shy and self-conscious!

I have spent the last 13 years helping people of all ages overcome their fears and insecurities so that they can step out of the shadows and achieve big things, without changing who they really are. I'm writing a new book called Shy and Mighty, (published by Quercus) as well as a book about shyness for kids.

I’ve travelled the world, speaking at international conferences, and have appeared in the Guardian, Radio 4, Entrepreneur.com, The Telegraph, The Independent, HR Magazine and on BBC Radio London.

To find out more about Nadia's work, check out her website and join the shy revolution at www.shyandmighty.com
Nadia Finer
Latest posts by Nadia Finer (see all)

I buy an ice cream and find a nice shady spot on a wall, by the edge of the road. The sun is beating down, and my ice cream is in danger of melting if I don’t eat it quickly.

I smell them before I see them. The wave of body odour hits me in the face. Then, the runners appear in a cloud of dust, commitment and endorphins. They thunder past, like a herd of wildebeest. This time, I can’t even spot him in the crowd.

Do you know what it’s like to be standing on the sidelines?

I do.

As a quiet student in a noisy class of super brains; as the girlfriend of a cute boy in a band; then a football widow, a soccer mum, and most recently, a business owner afraid of putting herself out there… standing on the sidelines is the story of my life!

I’m expert at standing back and watching other people shine.

And it turns out I’m not alone. 57% of us are shy. Half of the population are standing awkwardly on the edge of life, watching the other half get stuck in.

We are capable, smart and intelligent. We have knowledge and skills and experience. We have ideas, hopes, dreams and vision. We’ve got it going on. And yet, we hold ourselves back. We hide.

It’s happening in school, in relationships, in the home, in meetings, in organisations and in society as a whole.

Why shy people don’t get heard

Faced with the powerful force of loud, self-assured voices, we shy people can’t seem to find ours.

We stand back. We put our own opinions and wants and needs to one side. We let other people speak for us. We let other people shine.

We worry about being judged. We shrink away from competition and self-promotion.

We work and work and create and make. We worry about messing up, saying the wrong thing, or being criticised.

We feel like we’re not good enough, like our ideas are not valid and our voice doesn’t matter.

So, we keep our gifts locked away inside us. We don’t put up our hand. We don’t hit publish. Or send. Or unmute. We stand back and watch as other people get the recognition we deserve.

We stay standing on the sidelines — when we could be playing full out.

What happens when we’re shy?

When we stand on the sidelines, we miss out on experiences and fun and success and fulfillment and opportunities and happiness. When we allow our self-consciousness and insecurities to control us, we end up feeling stuck, frustrated and alone.

According to my research, shy people are less likely than outgoing people to get good jobs and earn lots of money. Shy people are half as likely to be happy than outgoing people.

Shy people are not broken. You don’t need to change who you are.

But, if your shyness is causing you to miss out, that is an issue.

And we are not the only ones missing out.

When we are silent, society as a whole misses out too. You have so much to offer.

The world needs your quiet, carefully considered perspectives, your innovative ideas, your intelligent solutions to complex problems, your authentic voice, your empathy, and your kindness.

If everyone was loud and shouty, nobody would be heard and nothing would get done! We’ve seen what happens when the world is dominated by loud people.

And that’s why we shy people need to embrace our shyness, to work with it, and find our voice. Because, we are the shy potential.

4 ways to find your voice and stop standing on the sidelines

#1 Talk about shyness

Shyness is not a shameful secret for people to mask and hide. Let’s start a conversation and make it easier for shy people to express how they’re feeling. If you get a sense that someone you’re close to is shy, start a conversation and invite them to share their experience and fears, so that you can better understand and support them.

#2 Create the conditions

Instead of feeling like a victim of shyness, let’s take control of our lives and create conditions that work for us. For example, if you find it hard to get a word in during remote meetings, suggest to your manager that you submit your ideas after each meeting. It feels good to be in control!

#3 Remember your purpose

Focus on the reason why you’re doing what you do. Your people need you. They need you to speak up and share what’s on your mind. Your purpose is more powerful than the fears holding you back.

#4 Find your voice

Shyness makes us want to hide away. It can make it hard to speak up. So much goes unspoken. Look for different ways to express yourself, privately, without worrying about judgement or perfection. Write a journal, start a book of doodles, learn to crochet, sing in the shower – choose something that feels easy and fun for you.

Are you standing on the sidelines?

Are you a shy person… or perhaps you feel confident in some contexts, and not in others? Do you feel like you’re standing on the sidelines of your life, wishing you could take part? I’d love to invite you to find your voice and say hi in the comments below. Let me know if this article resonates with you, and if you’ve any other helpful tips to share!

Meet Nadia

Boxer with a legendary left hook | Daughter of an inventor | Shycologist

Nadia Finer - author of How to stop standing on the sidelinesI’m Nadia Finer, and I’m on a softly-spoken mission to help shy people be more mighty. I know what it’s like to struggle with shyness. You see, all my life I’ve had a little voice. Really little. The kind of voice that makes random people tell me that I should be a cartoon voice-over actress. A voice so little that when strangers ring my house phone, they ask me to put my mum on the phone. It’s no wonder I’m often shy and self-conscious!

I have spent the last 13 years helping people of all ages overcome their fears and insecurities so that they can step out of the shadows and achieve big things, without changing who they really are. I’m writing a new book called Shy and Mighty, (published by Quercus) as well as a book about shyness for kids.

I’ve travelled the world, speaking at international conferences, and have appeared in the Guardian, Radio 4, Entrepreneur.com, The Telegraph, The Independent, HR Magazine and on BBC Radio London.

To find out more about Nadia’s work, check out her website and join the shy revolution at www.shyandmighty.com

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Making a difference #ForTheNextWoman

By

Joanna Martin
Joanna Martin
Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin
Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

With a big mission to transform the lives of one million women leaders, International Women’s Day is an annual celebration for us. And in 2021, our campaign focuses on WHY we’re doing what we’re doing. #ForTheNextWoman

Why #ForTheNextWoman?

In these volatile times it’s become more and more clear how much inequality and injustice there is in the world. The UN theme for #IWD21 is ‘Women in leadership: Achieving an equal future in a COVID-19 world’.

Which has led to many of us asking ourselves the question — is changing my own life really enough?

In the face of all the GIANT things that need to change in the world, is focusing on your own needs selfish?

Here’s my take on this.

I believe that one of the ingredients we need in order to create a thriving, just and equal world is capable, empowered women.

Women who are not afraid to say ‘I matter’ and ‘what I want counts’ and to bring pleasure and joy and excitement into their own lives.

It’s really important, of course, that we also change the systems. The exploitative, extractive cultures and our unconscious biases that cause harm without us realizing it.

But I don’t think we can wait until the systems themselves are fair to take action. If we can equip and empower women by showing up in SPITE of the current systems, we can become one of many women moving the dial for the ones who come next.

If, right now, your focus is on sorting out your finances, or being there for your kids, or supporting your team — never think what you’re doing isn’t enough.

You’re modelling a new way of being in the world. And it’s one that will, I hope, have repercussions for generations to come. #ForTheNextWoman in fact.

And when you’re fully resourced, capable, energised and ready to make a difference your impact will be far greater. When you’re standing in your power – nothing is impossible.

How are you making a difference?

Someone shared a gorgeous quote into the BeOne community this week. It’s a Chinese proverb:

When sleeping women wake, mountains move.

And women in our community are part of that process of waking up. When we know how to fill up our energy, set clear boundaries, make powerful decisions and collaborate effectively, it’s time to turn that power back out into the world.

To create a better future #ForTheNextWoman

The tools we share at One of many are designed by women, for women, and they help women around the world create extraordinary results.

For our coaches, they’ve allowed them to make an extraordinary impact this year.

Take Caroline Doran. We spoke to her at the end of last year, when she shared how profound an impact she’d had with her clients in 2020.

“My clients are in the charity sector. There’s a lot going on and it’s very difficult. I started quite a big coaching contract just as lockdown started, which was just amazing timing. And I got so much from helping people through this huge kind of ‘what the hell is happening?!’.

Being able to support people through that space of coaching, it gave me such a great sense of purpose and focus”.

Or Jen Goddard, an actuary. She told us

“I’m involved now in our gender diversity network in the office, trying to bring more of the coaching skills across the board and trying to get people to recognize how that can work.

Because what you so often see in talent programs is that people who are doing well get better. And the ones getting left behind are still left behind.

So I wanted to find the people who aren’t thriving, but would be talents if we could just get them to look after themselves. You know what I mean? It’s going from “let’s find some female talents and promote them” to “actually, let’s make everybody better”. And even the playing field in that way.”

I love seeing our coaches doing the work they do #ForTheNextWoman.

How about you?

And so, this International Women’s Day, we’re inviting you to join us in this celebration of women and the difference it makes to the world when we’re empowered. Here’s what to do.

#1 Spend some time thinking about who you’re making changes for.

Are you standing up to your boss so that the next woman in your role won’t have unreasonable demands on her? Are you sharing the honest version of your life on social media, so that the next women feeling like a failure will laugh and know she’s not alone? Are you showing your kids, your niece or nephew that you’re stepping up and making the world a better place?

Take a moment to acknowledge what you’re doing. It might seem small, but you’re part of a far bigger movement. Celebrate the impact you’re having on your own corner of the world — together, we are having a mighty impact.

#2 Shout your message from the rooftops!

We’re giving away a scholarship to our Coaching Certification for one of the women sharing the changes she’s making #ForTheNextWoman. So if you’ve been inspired by the difference our coaches are making in the world, make sure you take part to be in with a chance of getting your training costs covered by us! To take part, simply:

  1. Post a message/photo/video on your personal page or profile on social media AND in the BeOne group, explaining who you are stepping up for
  2. Tag @oneofmanywomen and, if they’re on Facebook, a friend/relative/client you’re stepping up for this International Women’s Day.
  3. Make sure to use the hashtags #FortheNextWoman and #IWD2021 and tag @oneofmanywomen

    4. We’ll select a winner from the posts shared and Jo will officially announce the winner on her Lunch and Learn live on Tuesday 9th March.

Have fun!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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How your vulnerability is your strength

By

Joanna Martin
Joanna Martin
Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin
Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Let’s talk about vulnerability today. If you’ve ever found yourself secretly thinking “everybody seems to be doing better than me!”, read on. I’m going to explain why that’s not true, what stops us from admitting it, and how sharing what’s really going on for you can be a source of radical power and support. Strange as it might seem, your vulnerability is your strength when you find the right space to share it.

But first, let’s start with why this moment in history is wobbly for so many of us. That’s to do with the unique lens through which we’re viewing the rest of the world.

Take a moment to think about how you’re getting your impression of how others are doing.

With the restrictions in place as I write, many of us are increasingly filtering our interactions through the lens of social medias.

We’re not having as many glancing interactions with people – the casual connection at the playground or the pub. Those times you see each other around the water cooler at work, and just feel that someone’s energy is “off”. Tiny moments of compassion for strangers.

So we don’t recognize the fact that a lot of us are suffering.

Recent months have seen an epidemic of mask wearing.

(I’m not talking about the one you pop on to go to the shops.)

I’m talking about the “everything’s okay” mask.

You know the difference, right?

That, “everything’s fine!” or “I’ve got this handled!” mask.

That particular kind of mask wearing seems to have gone up a lot in recent times.

Our virtual gatherings during the pandemic were the first time in some cases, for weeks, months, or even years where many of us felt safe to go:

“You know what? Maybe I can rest my load down a little bit here and actually say how I really am.”

Early on, I noticed lots of people starting to share words to the effect of… “I’m actually really not managing very well.”

I’m not doing okay.

I’m struggling in my relationship.

I’m feeling like I’m failing as a parent.

We heard from women who were struggling to stop weeping. Dealing with real big emotions. Or experiencing that sense of  sleepwalking numbness.

So many very deep and powerful shares.

What was revealed was just how much we are collectively challenged and hurting at this time.

Even those of us who are very well resourced. I’m thinking of our Lead the change graduates and participants in our Mastery program who are really deeply embedded in the tools. Even us as trainers! We’ve been working with these tools for years and years and years, decades in some cases.

And even the most resourced of us are feeling the strain of this time.

We are feeling the pressure, but…

We’re not talking about it in any other spaces. Which is why I think it freaked a few people out! A few people felt alarmed by hearing all this big emotion come up – and maybe even wondered if the event itself was causing an outburst.

But the truth is, those feelings and all of the hurt and challenge were already there.

This year many of us have experienced stress, difficult decisions and emotional strain unlike anything else we’ve gone through.

All that changed was the environment we created where it was safe to say that out loud.

And I’ve been reflecting on just how rare and precious that is ever since.

How vulnerable so many of us are feeling at the moment and just how few safe places we have to say that out loud.

Your vulnerability is your strength – because hiding it saps your energy.

… We’re lacking spaces where we can offload

This is a community of change making women who care. Which means if you’re reading this, you’re very likely to be the person in your space who listens, who’s the “go to” person.

The pillar of strength in the community.

We’re under huge pressure in our home environments, and on top of that we’re often being the strong ones for our family members, our wider family, and in our work spaces for our teams and colleagues.

And we are often the last ones to reach out and say, “I’m not doing okay”.

Because we feel like if we say that out loud, the whole world will fall apart.

But today I want to challenge that assumption. And here’s why.

Our feelings are collective

Part of the power of being open with our vulnerability is the recognition that it is a universal experience. Grief is universal. Fear is universal.

Sometimes we can feel like there’s something wrong with us as individuals – that we are somehow broken or particularly challenged. That our neighbor isn’t feeling this. The other school mums next to us are coping fine. The other women who are out dating or leading teams are not experiencing fear or sadness – that everybody else seems to have it together.

That is absolutely not the case.

Your vulnerability is not a fault or a problem. It’s a normal, healthy, compassionate human response.

In this community, your vulnerability is your strength

When we come together in community and we start talking about our experiences, one of the first and most healing pieces is this realisation that emotions are universal experiences.

“I’m not the only one!”

Why does this surprise us? Well, I’ll tell you why it surprises us… because we don’t bloody well talk about it!

We don’t talk about our innermost feelings. We don’t talk about the fact that we sent an email out to a potential client and they didn’t write back and we feel rejected and alone.

We don’t talk about the fact that we went out on three dates with a girl or a guy, and then we didn’t hear from them afterwards. They disappeared and we feel rejected and alone.

We might talk about what happened, but how often do we actually talk about how we are feeling at a deeper level?

And if I could take that one step forward further, I would say, how many of us actually even take the time to notice how we’re feeling at a deeper level?

What’s missing in our culture and in our society, are safe spaces to be heard, to be the full entirety of who we are.

All of our huge, awesome and rocking magnificence and all of our vulnerable, weepy, uncertain, insecure selves.

We just don’t have those spaces.

At One of many, we’re dedicated to creating safe spaces for women to share

And that for me is one of the things that I’m intensely grateful for.

To see how all of us feel able to come to show up, to share so deeply here, is incredibly moving and empowering for me.

If you’re someone who doesn’t even look at your own emotions, you start hearing from women who are more open.

And you might just start to look for the very first time and start to notice how you feeling.

Or, if you’re very present to how you’re feeling, but not actually telling anybody about it, you might show up on a Living the Change coaching call or in the Be One Global Community on Facebook. And say “this is what’s going on for me right now”.

When it’s said out loud, it becomes a shared experience.

And then what usually happens in this community is hundreds or dozens at least of other women go, “Oh, me too. You know, that’s something similar happened to me. Yeah. Something similar happened to my sister.”

It’s such a powerful thing. And that relief that can follow sharing openly, and not being judged, is so powerful.

Sometimes it’s just the ability to lay down the burden in a safe space, which is a critical piece.

This extraordinary community

So I want to acknowledge and honor you, right now, because whether you found us 5 years or 5 minutes ago, you’re a part of what makes the fabric of this community. You are a part of what makes this a safe space. And I thank you for how you are with each other.

Want more support – along with practical ways to create change?

If you need someone in your corner, if you want to lay down the burden, if you want a place where it’s normal to feel things, it’s normal to have challenges, and it doesn’t make you broken or wrong or helpless… I invite you to come and join us in Living the Change.

You’ll get access to all the tools and resources in our membership site, plus The Hearth, our private online coaching space space. Our in-house coaches are there to answer your questions and provide support whenever you need it.

This isn’t about whining or blaming or being victims. It’s a place to find an empowered sharing of what’s truly going on and practical tools and strategies to help you to create the life you want – to get the results you want to get.

Click here to find out more.

Where’s your safe space to share?

What are you going to do next? How are you going to reach out and to whom?

  • If you’re already in Living the Change and it’s been a while since you came on a coaching call, maybe it’s to join one of the calls, and prioritize getting your hand up and getting coached?
  • Maybe it’s coming into the BeOne community and sharing how you’re doing. You could say “I’m not looking for advice” or “I just want to know if anyone feels like this” – or maybe you’d like some tips from someone else who’s been in your situation. It’s up to you. Tell us what you need.
  • Maybe it’s calling up a friend and saying “I haven’t spoken to you for a long time cause I’ve been having a tough time. Can we have a real conversation about the tough times we’re having, and maybe be there for each other?”

There’s many, many ways to create your safe space, but you need one. All of us need one right now. It’s a really tough time. What are you going to do to support you to handle it with even more support? Let me know in the comments.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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7 ways to overcome procrastination

By

Joanna Martin
Joanna Martin
Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin
Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

With the changes and upheaval we’ve all experienced in the last 6 months, many of us are procrastinating like champions. Even if you’re usually someone who’s ruthlessly disciplined, you might find there are some items on your to-do list that are starting to recur. So how can you overcome procrastination – and what if that thing you’re avoiding isn’t actually procrastination at all?

Procrastination is rife right now

Some recent examples from our community of things they’d been putting off include:

  • Writing a business plan
  • Reading a book
  • Completing a tax return
  • Moving house
  • Changing jobs
  • Buying a dining room table (that’s me!)

… and so on.

Some really big, some pretty manageable.

Take a moment to jot down your own version of that list now.

What have you been putting off? From ordering a new lightbulb or sending an email to writing your will, take the time to capture everything that’s in your head.

I’m going to share 7 common reasons we put things off, and give you some tips on how to overcome procrastination so that you can get back into momentum. But first…

Before you overcome procrastination, here’s what it ISN’T

You see, I’ve been a bit sneaky here. At the bottom of that list of things we’d been putting off, I included my dining room table. It’s something that needs doing and I’ve been putting it off for years – classic procrastination, right?

But here’s the thing. Procrastination is defined as:

The act of putting off an IMPORTANT task, set of tasks or decision.

And to be quite honest, in the grand scheme of things, getting a dining table isn’t something that feels important to me. It’d be useful, sure – it would certainly make me feel fancier when guests come round. But when I weigh it up against everything else that matters, I have zero qualms about relegating it to the bottom of the list.

So, here’s your second invitation.

Anything on your list that’s not important to you (or going to become important at some point)? Cross it off.

Congratulate yourself on an excellent piece of PRIORITIZATION.

And move on.

The other thing that commonly gets lumped in with procrastination?

The decision we make to put off a task because we’re tired.

I would call that ENERGY MANAGEMENT.

And let’s take a moment to acknowledge that, at this collective moment a lot of us are more depleted than we have ever been.

We’re exhausted.

When we tell ourselves we’re “procrastinating” we tend to focus on the task. Your business plan, your tax return, that long overdue phonemail to your oldest mate… yes, they need doing. But what’s more important than the task itself, is the person who’s doing the task.

Often, the person who’s doing the task (you) is burnt out or exhausted.

I cannot emphasise enough how important that distinction is. If you’re looking at a big long list of things, and every single on of them is on hold right now, that’s probably because you’re totally burnt out.

Your priority needs to be radical replenishment, which often looks like 3 things: rest, sleep, saying no.

(A quick tip: When your list of things you’re putting off goes from one or two things, to a page full, you probably need to replenish your energy.)

So, with that in mind, go through your list and note anything that you’re not doing because you’re managing your energy. That might knock one thing off your list, or it might knock everything off your list. Trust your instincts, and try not to second guess yourself.

Because what you’re left with will be the things you’re really procrastinating on – and we’re about to dig into 7 reasons why that might be and what you can do about them.

Why do we procrastinate?

Once you’ve taken off the things that really aren’t that important, and made sure you’re managing your energy, what you’re left with will likely fall into one of seven categories. To overcome procrastination effectively, you need to know what the items on your list fall into.

Most of us don’t acknowledge these. We look at things we’re putting off and tell ourselves we’re lazy, incompetent, or just a total failure.

But frankly, that noisy inner critic isn’t very helpful when it comes to shifting your energy and allowing you to get things done. Put her to one side for a few minutes, because we’re going to dig in.

The 7 reasons we procrastinate (and what to do about them)

#1 Lack of planning

WHAT? You know where you need to do, you just haven’t planned to do it. And as the old adage goes, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. One of the fastest ways to overcome procrastination is actually the simplest: Make some time (enough time!) to do the thing you need to do.

WHAT TO DO: I’m a BIG believer in planning – in fact, I’d estimate that in my typical 25-30 hour working week, I spend a good 4 of those hours planning. I’m willing to bet you could probably be more effective if you allocated some serious time to doing the same. Especially when it comes to those tasks you’re putting off. Give yourself an extra half an hour to plan when you’ll do them, and see if that takes care of them.

#2 The task is out of flow

WHAT: Each of us have some things we’re great at. Maybe you love nothing more than having a good chat with a colleague, but when it comes to looking at a spreadsheet you’re suddenly overcome with the urge to check Facebook. Others will avoid a phone call like the plague, but happily tinker with a pivot table until it’s working like clockwork.

WHAT TO DO:

  1. Delegate it to someone else (this works for decisions too!)
  2. Decide when you’ll do it and complete it at a time when you’re in the right frame of mind to do it. Maybe that means playing a particular song, doing it first thing in the morning before you’ve had time to think about it, or having a quick pep talk with your best friend before you do it.

#3 Lack of knowledge

WHAT: If the thing you’re putting off is a little bit vague – ‘write business plan’ or ‘get fit’ – be honest. Do you know exactly what you need to do to achieve that goal? If not, who do you need to ask?

WHAT TO DO: Make the next action something you at least know how to do: Perhaps it’s reading a book, googling a “How to” guide or asking in a friendly Facebook Group. Because what’s crazier than giving yourself a hard time for not doing something you don’t even know how to achieve?

#4 Overwhelm

WHAT: Ahh, overwhelm. It’s the pesky sprite that pops up for all of us from time to time. And with homeschooling, risk management and rescheduling an entire year’s worth of events and appointments on our plates, LOTS of us are getting reacquainted with what it feels like to be utterly overwhelmed right now.

WHAT TO DO: If you want to overcome procrastination, you’ve got to get out of overwhelm first. Luckily there’s a nifty tool to help you get past it. Click here to download the Overwhelm First Aid Kit so you can regain your focus.

# 5 Analysis paralysis

WHAT: You don’t know exactly what to do about this issue… so you do nothing. And the problem gets worse. Maybe sprouts some other problems of its own. The options you’re thinking of multiply in response. And still you do nothing. Argh!

WHAT TO DO: You know when you’re driving with Sat Nav, and you get stuck on a roundabout? The computer can’t quite catch up, and so you go round and round, never locking onto the correct route? This is like that. Pick a decision, any decision, and go with it. You’ll soon get feedback on whether it was the right one – but until you take an action, you can’t get into action.

#6 Perfectionism.

WHAT: Whatever you’re going to do, has to be perfect. This is how you put off making your kid’s birthday cake so long you end up with a midnight baking session on your hands. If you’ve found yourself swearing into a packet of icing at 2 in the morning, you can probably relate.

WHAT TO DO: Just start. Think of it as a practice attempt, a “Shitty First Draft” as writer Anne Lamott calls it, or just your route off the roundabout. Done is better than perfect – it’s a wise saying for a reason.

#7 Present self / future self dissonance

WHAT: This one is a recent addition for me, and it’s shed a whole lot of light on things like financial planning or exercise that we often find ourselves putting off. Essentially, we avoid doing something that will benefit our future selves (like going for a run) because our present self is motivated by instant gratification (like eating that cookie).

WHAT TO DO: Find your motivation! Two great ways to do that are by getting an accountability partner, or batching the task you’re putting off with something you really enjoy. Habit expert James Clear calls this “temptation bundling”. So, you go for a run while listening to your favourite podcast. Or complete your tax return whilst enjoying the ambience of your favourite café. That way, you get to experience the present gratification of the temptation with the future satisfaction of having completed the task.

Go through your list again – and next to each item, jot down which of the 7 forms of procrastination it is. Does that help you get clear on your next actions? Are you finding yourself with a bit more energy to face the tasks that are on your plate? If you’re feeling better equipped to overcome procrastination, share in the comments – and if this article helps you, pass it on to a friend!

Finding momentum can be tough

At this moment in history, moving into action can feel harder than ever. But you don’t have to do it alone. Living the change is an online transformational coaching programme designed to help you rediscover your momentum and reignite your sense of connection. Registration is now open and I’d love to welcome you to join me and our global community of women. Click here to find out more and join the community.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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How to deal with your emotions

By

Annie Stoker
Annie Stoker
Master Trainer and Head of Coaching at One of many
Annie Stoker is perhaps the UK's most educated coach and trainer in what it takes to be happy. She has distilled 27 years experience in diverse psychological and spiritual perspectives into a simple but profound manual for the mind: The Personal Development Handbook.” She has coached influential figures, and been featured widely on TV, radio and in print.

Having experienced not just health and sickness, but also success and failure, marriage and divorce, wealth and poverty, Annie now knows that real growth is not another ‘let’s make it all ok’ campaign. It’s about finding the truth at the core of ourselves so that we have the inner freedom to deal with whatever life throws at us.
Annie Stoker
Latest posts by Annie Stoker (see all)

Emotions are a response to the thoughts we have about various situations and circumstances. There are emotions that we like and want to continue having and there are others that we dislike and want to avoid at all costs. We need to understand more about the emotions that we dislike and want to avoid, as it is those emotions that will provide us with more choice, truth and happiness in our life. When you know how to deal with your emotions, life becomes easier, because you’re no longer ruled by a fear of feeling a certain way.

Why do we find emotions so difficult to handle?

If we try to avoid some emotions that we don’t like, they are bound to come back to us later, because all emotions simply want to be expressed. After all they are just energy in motion and emotions naturally bubble up inside us, get expressed and then leave. However, if we try to interrupt this process we can bring all sorts of problems upon ourselves.

When you don’t know how to deal with your emotions it’s often the avoidance strategies that cause you most problems – not the emotions themselves.

Here’s what I mean.

Every feeling that gets generated has five parts as follows:

  1. The thought about the situation
  2. The resulting emotion
  3. The way we perceive the emotion and the meaning we ascribe to it
  4. The way we feel about that meaning
  5. The way we respond to the emotion

Our response to an emotion often has a greater impact than the feeling itself.

No-one has ever died of an emotion!

Many people have died as a result of not managing their emotions but instead turning to substance abuse, addictions and dangerous behaviour.

If emotions are suppressed for long enough they can also cause havoc on a physical level by contributing to diseases and physical symptoms. As long as we do not want to experience a set of emotions and want to avoid them at any cost, the fact remains that someday, we will find ourselves facing those emotions at such an intensity that all our energy, willpower and control will be washed away trying to overcome them.

Here’s how to discover your emotional preferences

Try the following exercise:

Take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle.

On one side of the line, list out the emotions that you like and want to continue to experience in life:

Now, on the other side, list out the emotions that you dislike and want to avoid.

Once you complete the above two lists, you will see that there are a few emotions that you like (for instance: happiness, love, joy, excitement, etc) and probably a lot more other emotions that you don’t like (for example: sadness, anger, fear, hurt, disappointment, hate, jealousy, inadequacy, shame, confusion, doubt, rejection etc).

It is very common for people to have fewer emotions that they like and a large number of emotions that they don’t like.

What this means is that when we think about how to deal with our emotions, we often focus on trying to manipulate life in order to avoid the ones we don’t like.

For example if you’re afraid of rejection, you may then avoid speaking in public, getting into relationships, being noticed at work, making mistakes, speaking your mind etc.

We can run our whole lives trying to avoid emotions we dislike.

Introducing… Emotional Allergies!

Sometimes, we become so allergic to particular feelings, due to intense experiences of them in the past, that we will do anything to avoid them.

Even if it means missing out on things we actually want.

But being aware of what emotions you like and what emotions make you cringe is important for ensuring emotional freedom.

After all, what do you think is more logical: running away from something that is bound to occur, or trying to find a way to accept something that may be uncomfortable but is going to happen anyway?

Once you know this then you can challenge yourself to remain open even to the ones you like least. After all, they are part of being human and are guaranteed to turn up at some point in your life.

How to deal with your emotions

Instead of trying to run away from them and avoid all the situations that you think could possibly cause them, why not ask the more intelligent question of “How can I accept them?” instead?

Eventually, with practice, you’ll find emotions are no longer your enemy. They become part of your life, and your emotional landscape gets more colorful and interesting.

Learning how to deal with your emotions is not about liking or disliking a particular emotion, it is about just being open to all kinds of emotions. In the end you don’t mind what you are feeling – it is all welcome.

As long as we are willing to experience all kinds of emotion for whatever duration, the more easily they can flow through us. You’ll find they actually disappear pretty quickly when you let go!

So choose to be willing, don’t make emotions mean anything (they don’t – they are just sensations) and just let them flow through you without resistance.

Developing emotional intelligence

We develop emotional intelligence when we are able to feel all our emotions and accept them for however long they hang around. A conscious effort to face all kinds of emotion without using any strategy to avoid them plus the willingness to experience all the sensations of every emotion, will ultimately lead to freedom.

If you are open to experiencing any and all feelings, then there is actually nothing in life you need to be afraid of anymore.

You are just open, present and accepting of whatever happens outside and whatever you feel inside.

Over to you

How about you? What emotions do you feel habitually, and which ones do you try and avoid at all costs? “Mapping” your emotional landscape like this can be a really fascinating exercise – we’d love to know what comes up for you. Leave us a comment and let us know!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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One of many women actively standing against racism

By

Joanna Martin
Joanna Martin
Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin
Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

“As part of my commitment to get uncomfortable in the fight against racism, I want to start right here.”

These were the words I typed into our community Facebook group this week, knowing that what I was about to write would fail. That in opening this conversation I would inevitably make ignorant, inexcusable mistakes.

But I’m serious in this commitment: I really want to know how to become anti-racist. And, even though I know I’ll get it wrong, my feelings aren’t what’s important here. It’s time to get uncomfortable and open up this discussion – so that we can make our community a truly diverse one.

The power of community – and the conversation we’re missing

Our Facebook group contains almost seven thousand women. And as we train, connect and inspire sisters around the globe I’m endlessly inspired by what we can achieve when women come together. With the impact so many of our grassroots leaders are having in their communities, organisations and families.

But the elephant in our room is race. And white privilege.

We talk about change a lot here at One of many. But we hardly ever talk about race.

And it’s not hard to know why.

Because it’s damn uncomfortable.

We have a huge community of women from many walks of life and from many ethnic backgrounds.

We also have a strong commitment to solidarity.

And yet, for so many white women, our privilege is such a tender, painful and awkward topic to address that we hardly know where to begin. It’s far easier just to stay silent.

Meaning that those who are left to think, talk and take action when it comes to discrimination and oppression, are all too often the women are the victims of it.

While those of us who benefit from that inequality – not by choice, but by the societies in which we live – are the ones who have the luxury of choosing to switch off from it.

Because it’s “too much”.

Can you see how messed up that is?

Soft Power and the fight for justice

Here at One of many we’re guided by the 5 women’s PowerTypes. The archetypes who can help us embrace and learn from even the hardest challenges.

Mother who can listen and love unconditionally… seeking to understand.

Warrioress who can fight for injustice and harness her anger as a rallying cry.

Queen who can see the horizon beyond it all and will do what’s right even if it’s unpopular.

Lover who can take care of herself in the face of it all.

And Sorceress who can work with faith in Source, life, the universe… that knows we are all interconnected.

So what can we do?

With that in mind… and from that place of Soft Power I want to explore racism. And white privilege.

In the past I had thought myself an ally, but the more I hear in recent days the less I feel that I do enough. I have started. I have conversations. I take some action. We’re actively working to make our coaching team and our office staff more diverse, for instance.

But it’s not enough.

Personally, I am becoming vividly aware that I don’t do enough. I don’t do enough to stop racism and bigotry in my wider family. I don’t do enough in our community of caring women where we could really learn and change things. It’s really, really hard for me to admit that. It feels really horrible.

But it’s not about my feelings, as a white woman. And these are things I intend to change.

If you are a white woman: listen, and take action.

Many women have shared some excellent resources in the community over the past days. If you haven’t already, read the posts, absorb the discussions, and be ready to approach our collective unlearning with humility.

And remember this, as we move forward: We won’t get this right.

None of us is perfect. We all are capable of deep care, love and understanding. And all of us capable of grief, anger and fury.

Racism cannot end with conversation alone.

But it must start here…

If you have have experienced racism and racial oppression – you don’t owe us anything.

I am immensely grateful to every one of you who stepped in to express your anger, heartbreak and frustration in our conversations this week. For your patience in educating those of us who are just starting out on this journey. I learned a lot, and I know I’m not alone. We owe you our respect, our attention, and our apologies. And I am sorry for the inevitable harm we will cause as we learn to do better.

Please, take care of yourselves, stay resourced, and step away from discussions when you need to preserve your energy.

Ultimately, this isn’t about me. There are courageous leaders in the anti-racism movement who have been fighting this fight for decades.

The last thing that movement needs is a white woman like me putting herself at the centre.

So I want to end this article with the words of just one of the women who showed up as leaders in our own community this week. 

“You can choose to lead either by your active work to dismantle the paradigm or your complicit upholding of it. I would love you to lead with courage and vulnerability and the very possibility that you might do it wrong, that people might call you out, that you may have to feel emotions and reactions that you don’t want to feel. 

Do this and it will embolden other white women in positions of power to do the same and perhaps even white men. This is your time to lead with full awareness as a woman with power and privilege.  

Lead inclusively, learn, grow and don’t expect black women and people of colour to take on the burden of teaching, increasing your awareness and educating you for free. We and our ancestors have done enough free emotional and physical labour.  

We can truly walk together when you show through your actions that you are really committed to change, when you have demonstrated that we are safe and valued as equals in your presence. Beyond tokenism and platitudes. There has been enough of that already particularly in the field of personal development. “ –Monica Douglas

I encourage you to go over to the BeOne group and read through the conversation happening there in response to my post – paying particular attention to the voices of the women who responded so passionately from their own lived experience. Let their words inform and inspire your action.

We all have our spheres of influence. It’s time for all of us to do as much as we can.

More than a social media post; more than reading a book.

My deep hope is that by using the principles of Soft Power, we can create the change the world needs to build a world that’s truly equal for all of us.

How can you be part of that change today?

Here are some resources to help get you started.

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Emerging Leadership: Starting a business during quarantine

By

Joanna Martin
Joanna Martin
Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin
Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

During this time of unprecedented change, we’ve been humbled and inspired to see how graduates of the One of Many programs are applying their tools to navigate the difficulties we’re all facing.  So, over the next week or so, we’ll be sharing some truly inspiring interviews with women whose leadership is helping steer their families, teams and communities towards an emerging future that brings us great hope. 

These empowered women are living demonstrations of the opportunity we have to step up and define what comes next. We may be living through lockdown, but even as the current crisis brings great challenges it is also a time ripe with opportunity. To let go of what no longer serves us, to embrace new ways of looking at the world, and to fight for what really matters.

And we hope they inspire you too…

Today, we’d like to introduce you to Wendy McCristal, Founder of The Mental Wealth Company. A graduate of Lead the Change, Wendy has transitioned from working in the rail industry, burning out, and crafting a career that works for her and her clients powerfully.   She’s a great role model of compassion and prioritisation.

Please let us know in the comments what lessons you hear in Wendy’s story…

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How to actually make a difference

By

Sara Price
Sara Price
Sara is a coach and mentor with over 25 years of experience in campaigning and communications. As well as her ongoing work with Pagefield, the leading independent communications agency that she co-founded in 2010, Sara is a One of Many Certified Coach, a Mastercoach and soon to be author.
Sara Price
Latest posts by Sara Price (see all)

I don’t know about you, but I’m not a big fan of feeling cynical and helpless. I am by nature an optimist, and I want to know how to actually make a difference. I believe in the possibility of change, so I focus on the ways in which I can have an impact. It’s empowering to figure out what I can do, even if it is only a little, to affect the issues that are important to me.

You can probably relate. The issues we’re facing in our communities, our societies and as a planet are impossible to ignore. What might surprise you is something else I care about, and which I believe is key to the impact all of us can have on the change we want to see in the world:

Politics.

Now before you click to another page, here’s another thing you might find surprising – so do you.

‘Oh no I don’t…’

‘Oh yes you do…’

‘Oh no I don’t…’

‘Oh yes….’

Sorry, wrong blog, we’re past the Christmas Panto season right? Although given the way that much of our politics is conducted, sometimes pantomime seems apt…

Why you care about politics (even if you think you don’t)

Anyway, back to the point: why do I insist that you care about politics?

Well, here’s a list of issues which almost certainly affect your life in one way or another. I am prepared to bet rather a lot of money you care about at least one of them:

  1. How much tax you pay
  2. How much money you are paid
  3. How much you receive in benefits
  4. What your children learn at school
  5. How qualified the teachers are that teach them
  6. How long the school holidays are
  7. What access you have to childcare, and who pays for it
  8. How many hours you work
  9. How much holiday you can take from work
  10. Your access to healthcare if you’re too sick to work
  11. Your access to sexual health services
  12. What age you can get married
  13. Whether you can get married or not
  14. Whether or not we, as a country, go to war
  15. When your rubbish is collected
  16. Whether that new development near your house gets planning permission
  17. The amount of renewable energy we produce as a nation
  18. Climate change
  19. Plastics in the ocean
  20. GMO food
  21. Nuclear weapons…

Is there something on this list that you care about?

Yes?

Then you care about politics.

Because every single item on that list is determined — or at least heavily influenced — by politicians at a local, national or international level.

Elections, referendums, protests – these are all huge political moments in our lifetimes. But the opportunities for usto have an impact on these big, important decisions aren’t limited to these snapshots in time.

Whether you agree with the outcomes or not, if you want to actually make a difference, you have a choice. You can wait for the next moment to come along – another election, another referendum, another protest…

OR you can get informed, get engaged, get empowered and actually make a difference more regularly than once every few years.

An optimist’s take on creating change

I may have mentioned that I am an optimist?

Here’s what I imagine…

…a world in which we do more than turn up once every few years, mark a cross on a piece of paper, and then moan to our friends about how our politicians don’t represent us.

…a world in which the electorate (which means YOU) feels informed, engaged and empowered to have an impact on the issues they care about.

…a world in which we hold our representatives accountable for the actions they take and the decisions they make.

That’s the world I want to live in and the one I want to do something to contribute to.

Why?

Because of that list of issues that you care about.

Because politics is important beyond the moments.

Because I don’t want to feel helpless and hopeless.

Because I want to feel informed, empowered and engaged.

And I suspect maybe you do too.

How to actually make a difference: 3 myths about getting involved

Lots of the myths you might have unconsciously absorbed about becoming ‘politically involved’ simply aren’t true. Here are 3 that commonly stop us from taking action, and the truth behind them.

Myth #1 Getting involved in politics will take up all my time

Something as simple as getting informed about an issue you care about; finding out what organisations are working to improve it or signing a petition might only take a few minutes. Do that every day or week, and you’ll soon be more engaged with what’s going on.

Myth #2 If I want to make a difference, I’ll have to join a party or start a campaign

There are lots of groups, individuals and organizations already doing amazing work on all kinds of issues. So you don’t need to start from scratch. Whether it’s making a donation, sharing their work with your network, or contributing your time and skills, there are ways to get involved at every level.

Myth #3: I need to spend years studying politics before I get started

Politics isn’t for the elite, the wealthy or the educated. It’s for all of us. And starting with grassroots issues that matter to you — a local footpath, a library you love, a policy at work you don’t agree with — is the best way to learn more.

We deserve more

The philosopher and diplomat Joseph de Maistre once said that “In a democracy people get the leaders they deserve.”

Isn’t it time for us to deserve better leaders?

Isn’t it time we stepped up? Spoke out? Held our leaders to account?

Isn’t it time we got involved? Made a difference? Had a say?

Then perhaps when the next political moment rolls around, we will have gone some way to creating that world I imagine.

I’ll be sharing more ways you can get involved and have an impact on future blogs.

For now, I’m curious: What’s your relationship with politics like? Do you feel as though you’re engaged with the issues that matter; does it all feel like a distant circus of posturing egos; do you feel empowered, helpless, or somewhere in between?

I’d really love to know — share your take in the comments below.

About Sara

The Knitting, Baby-whispering Karaoke queen!

Sara is the Founder of Actually which she set up to empower those who want to make a difference in the world to grow their businesses and their impact by developing great communication skills; overcoming mindset blocks and getting the right support. Sara’s specialises in communications, campaigning and PR – and her flagship training programme, How to Actually Spread the Word, helps purpose-led entrepreneurs, coaches and consultants to step up, speak up and make a difference. She is also a One of many coach and trainer; a mentor with the social enterprise support group Unltd and the co-Founder of one of London’s leading independent communications agencies.

Please visit www.actually.world or email sara@actually.world for more information.

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Are you already coaching?

By

Joanna Martin
Joanna Martin
Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin
Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

A surprising number of women, whether or not they’re interested in pursuing coaching as a career, already use some fundamental coaching skills in their day to day lives – often without realising they’re doing it. Are you one of them? Today I’m going to share 3 ways to find out if you’re already coaching people around you, and why this could be an important signal for you about where to focus your energy.

Why coaching skills are so valuable

In the coming decade, coaching skills are emerging as an increasingly valuable attribute across industries, as well as outside of the workplace in areas like family, relationships and wellbeing. Why? At the start of the decade, a shift is beginning to emerge in the traditional priorities of business.

In 2019, Deloitte asked nearly 10,000 CEOS to state what they considered to be the most important measure of success. The top answer might surprise you: Ahead of profit or customer satisfaction, top CEOs rate their ‘impact on society’ as the most important achievement.

That’s not the easiest thing to achieve in today’s fast moving, ever connected world. A business’s impact on society needs to be led by people with a clear vision, the ability to hold steady and inspire others through turbulence and uncertainty, and a real sense of integrity aligned with their deepest values. If success is measured by wider impact, leaders need the kind of deep support that coaching brings. Their legacy will be defined not only by their financial acumen or management ability, but by their clarity of purpose and vision. Their ability to respond to global events and social shifts, with discernment and integrity. And that’s the kind of support trained coaches have the skills to provide.

A second key trend comes as ‘Generation Z’ — our current 16-25 year olds — enter the worksplace. By 2030, they’re estimated to make up almost 33% of the global workforce. And their priorities, as Dan Schawbel, research director at Future Workplace writes, are not what we might assume

“This digital generation, primarily relying on technology to communicate, suffers from anxiety. Thus, Gen Zers are looking for leaders who are trusting, support their needs, and express care for them as humans – not just employees. Focusing on Gen Zers human needs will be the best way to address their workplace needs.”

The ability to set a clear vision and purpose, and to support the human needs of employees, ask for a new kind of leadership to emerge. One that will be fostered by the kind of coaching skills many of us take for granted. In this short video, I share 3 signs that you might already be coaching — and what you should be aware of if you are.

Are you already coaching without knowing it?

If you’re already coaching…

If you’re currently coaching without realising it, or are practicing as a coach and want to develop your skills further to reflect these emerging trends in business, it’s clear that the world needs your talent. And when it comes to equipping yourself with the most up to date tools to enhance your impact, I share what you need to know in a free online workshop on Thursday 3rd December 2020: Essential Skills for Coaching Women.

.Click here to register and find out more.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.