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Guest blog: Should I leave my job?

By

Jane Lewis

Dr Jane Lewis has over 20 years’ experience as a coach, including working as a career coach. She’s an ordained Interfaiths Minister and her passion is helping women find their purpose and direction, and then release the mental baggage that stops them achieving it. Twice a year she goes to Hawai’i to teach and study Huna – the spiritual, energetic and shamanistic practices of the ancient Hawai’ians. Find out more at https://secretartofhuna.com.

Latest posts by Jane Lewis (see all)

This is a guest blog by Dr Jane Lewis.

In my role as a Career Coach, I am often asked by clients, ‘Should I Leave My Job?’ It’s one of those questions to which the answer can often feel like ‘How Long Is A Piece Of String’, but in this blog, I’ll be sharing a few pointers to help you consider the question, should it be burning a hole in your brain just now.

Why you might want to leave your job

The first question I always ask clients is: why do you want to leave your job?

  • Because you’re unhappy?
  • You want to start your own business?
  • You aren’t paid enough?
  • The people are OK, and they don’t treat you badly, but it doesn’t really fire you up?
  • You’re not being given the opportunities you want?

Depending on the answer, my advice will change.

However, there are a few cases where the answer is fairly clear.

If you are thinking of leaving your job because you’re planning to set up your own business, my advice generally is to stay in your job until you’ve got your new business running and starting to pay you an income. Of course, that isn’t always possible, but financially it can make the transition so much easier.

If you feel you’re underpaid, or not being given the promotions and opportunities you deserve, then, assuming you are otherwise happy, the first step is to have a conversation with your boss.

At One of many we talk about ‘having a conversation from your Queen’: stepping in to your Queen powertype, and making your point in a drama-free, powerful fashion.

But what if you’re unhappy, or over-stressed or feeling demotivated?

One of the techniques I invite my clients to use is to identify their career values to see how far the job is satisfying those values.

Our values provide motivation at a very deep, unconscious level. If your career values aren’t being satisfied in your current job, then it is highly likely that you will struggle with motivation and with performing at your best.

Values are abstract, and they are the product of our life experience together with our early conditioning. So if your family put a high value on professionalism, you might well find you do the same.

Your values are key to making any big decision

One client of mine worked in an engineering environment where the money and benefits were OK, and the people were pleasant. The work was challenging, although it wasn’t exactly the area that my client enjoyed the most. It was all OK, but something was not quite right and my client couldn’t pin down what that was.

We did a value exercise and time with family came out in the top 5. The job involved a relatively long commute, and as a result of doing the exercise my client realised that this value was not being met, and this was the reason they were not content.

The client used their list of values as criteria for evaluating job adverts, and soon found a job nearer home, with less travel and more money. Within a year they had been promoted to Director, which was an unexpected bonus!

How to find your values

The process is as follows: ask yourself ‘what’s important to me about my career (or job)?’ You are looking for single words or very short phrases that you can’t put in a wheelbarrow. Abstract nouns; words like:

  • job-satisfaction
  • professionalism
  • growth
  • challenge
  • fun

Keep going until you have at least 8, but don’t worry if you end up with 15 or 16.

Once you have your list, put them in order of importance, based on the way things are right now. The most important values will be those on which you spend the most time and energy.

Then, looking at the top 5-8, for each value, ask yourself: ‘how far does my current job satisfy this value?’ You can use a scale of 1-10 or a percentage scale.

If your job doesn’t satisfy any of your values, or only satisfies a few values more or less, it may well be time to move, or at least have a serious conversation with your employers about how things need to change.

That’s the exact process I used with my client. It’s such a great tool for clarifying your thinking around your job options.

Need help making a big decision?

If you’d like some support to work through the system yourself, you can find a One of many certified coach trained in helping women explore their values using the online coach directory. Click here to find the right coach for you.

About Jane Lewis

Coach, Minister, Huna practitioner

Dr Jane Lewis has over 20 years’ experience as a coach, including working as a career coach. She’s an ordained Interfaiths Minister and her passion is helping women find their purpose and direction, and then release the mental baggage that stops them achieving it. Twice a year she goes to Hawai’i to teach and study Huna – the spiritual, energetic and shamanistic practices of the ancient Hawai’ians. Find out more at https://secretartofhuna.com.

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How coaching is different from mentoring

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

The question came up just a couple of weeks ago in our One of many coaches group. One of our certified coaches had been approached by a colleague to provide some support – only, was it coaching they wanted, or mentoring? It got me reflecting on just how coaching is different from mentoring and why it’s so important that we get that distinction right.

Why we need to know how coaching is different from mentoring

At first glance, it might not seem like a massively important distinction. After all, if you’re looking to make progress in your career and need some wise counsel from someone else to do that, does it really matter what label you stick on it?

But there are lots of reasons why it’s really crucial that the distinction is clear from the outset of any relationship like this. Here are just 3:

  • Trust: Coaching and mentoring have different expectations around things like confidentiality and the scope of each session. It’s vital that both parties understand what’s being asked for – and offered – before they take part.
  • Payment: Coaching is a professional undertaking which usually requires payment. In many, though not all, professions mentoring is something offered for free by more senior individuals. For obvious reasons this is an area that it’s very important to have clarity around from the start!
  • Training: If you’re working with a coach, it’s reasonable to expect a certain level of professional training or significant experience; a mentor might not have formal training, but there will likely be certain pre-requisites of taking on this role.

Without clarity in these areas, any relationship can quickly become strained.

So how is coaching different from mentoring – and what should you be clear about from the start?

Here are 5 key areas the two can differ in – and some questions to ask before you start.

1. Coaching and mentoring have different goals

Typically, a coach will work with you towards an agreed goal. For example, you might want to focus on a particular ambition, like reaching a new level of financial growth in your business; getting clarity on your purpose; or improving a specific relationship, with your partner or your children for example. Within an organization, a coach might support you to reach a specific sales target or quarterly goal.

The purpose of mentoring is likely to be slightly different. Mentors tend to be more focused around career growth, often looking at a result that which the person mentoring has already achieved. They might support you with developing your leadership, managing a team, or writing a book. Often (though not always) the goal will be less specific, and the relationship more open-ended, than a coaching one.

Questions to ask: What’s the purpose of this relationship? How will we know when we get there? At what points will we review that goal?

2. Coaching and mentoring require different training

One of many coach Jane Lewis noted this important distinction:

“Generally a mentor is an expert in your mutual field; usually more expert and often better connected than you. A coach may know much or nothing about your field. Typically a mentor may be more directive BUT both – if they are any good- will demonstrate devoted listening skills, and great questioning ability.”

Jane’s touched on an important point here, which is that good mentors and coaches often have overlapping skills and even experience – both may be successful, good listeners, and have an aptitude for helping others to grow.

However, coaching is a distinct skillset in itself, and one which can be trained in specifically. Coaches use specific tools to help activate growth and empower you to take control of a particular area of growth.

A mentor, on the other hand, may simply be able to provide advice through virtue of their experience so far. That can be just as valuable, so long as you’re clear about what they can and can’t offer.

Questions to ask: What training have you completed? What kinds of strategies have you used to help other people? Will you be using these tools to help me reach my goal?

3. Coaching and mentoring cost different amounts

This is one of the most important differences to be clear on from the start, whether you are the person being coached or the one giving the support!

The expectations of mentorship vary greatly in different professions and organizations. In some, senior roles come with the expectation that mentoring less experienced colleagues is part of the equation. In others, mentorship is considered something to be paid for.

Coaching, by contrast, is more often expected to be paid for – if not by the person receiving it, then by the organization who have arranged the coaching. If you’re at all unsure then make sure you ask this question clearly.

And if you’re the person charging for the sessions, then needless to say you must make certain you have the clear understanding and agreement of the person you’re coaching before you begin.

Questions to ask: What is the expectation around payment? If I’m paying, what is included in the cost?

4. Coaching and mentoring take place over different timescales

There are no hard and fast rules here. But mentoring is more likely to be an open-ended or fluctuating arrangement, whereas coaching packages often last for a set length of time, and have sessions of a fixed length – typically one hour.

You might meet every quarter with a mentor to receive “big picture” advice on your career, and fortnightly with your coach for specific support around a goal.

Or a mentor might invite you to stop in for a quick chat whenever you have a query, or want to get their thoughts on a project, whereas your coach might set you tasks to complete in between fixed sessions.

Whichever is true for you, be sure to ensure that you leave space to review the arrangement, so that everyone’s clear about what will happen if things change, and when you’re finished working together.

Questions to ask: How many sessions will we have? How long will they last for? How will we know when it’s time to finish working together?

5. Coaching and mentoring ask different things of you

Coaching often involves significant transformation. It requires a level of trust on the part of both parties and a real commitment to growth on the part of the person being coached.

Mentoring, on the other hand, can be more about developing your skills within a specific profession. While calling on you to grow, there may be less of a personal growth focus and more attention paid to your abilities in practice.

Questions to ask: What’s expected of me in this relationship? What can I expect of you? What do we think will be the outcome of our work together?

Every relationship is unique

Mentoring and coaching are both hugely valuable processes – and both are relationships based on trust. As you can tell, although there are “rules of thumb” when it comes to expectations there are key areas where they can overlap, and so it’s really important to make sure expectations on both sides are clear before you start.

If you find yourself providing advice or guidance to other women, and are keen to develop your skills and gain clarity around how you can best support them, then take a look at the free online training:

“The Secret to Coaching Women: This Controversial Approach Will Transform the Results You Get With Your Team, Your Clients and Yourself.”

Click here to register and we’ll email you full details to access it.

It contains what I’ve found to be the “missing piece” of most coaching methodologies – and whether you’re a coach, manager or leader I think you’ll find the tools I share really helpful.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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What brings fulfilment in life?

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

If I asked you whether you wanted to feel fulfilled in your life – your work, your relationships, your contribution – you’d probably give a wholehearted YES, right? But if I asked how you could actually create that feeling: what brings fulfilment in life, or how we can know when we’re fully experiencing it, you wouldn’t be alone if you found it a bit harder to articulate.

Fulfilment is the answer to making a positive difference in the world without burning ourselves out. And yet many of us aren’t really clear on exactly what we mean by it, or how we can take practical steps to find fulfilment if it’s missing. Today I’m going to share 4 powerful questions you can ask yourself to discover how much fulfilment you’re currently experiencing in your life – and what you could do to increase it.

Fulfilment isn’t static

Before we start, a quick note on one thing I know to be true: Change is inevitable. As time goes by, what brings you fulfillment will also change. So if you find yourself wondering why something you once found fulfilling seems to have lost its sheen, don’t worry: There’s nothing wrong, and you haven’t made a “mistake”.

The trick to finding fulfillment throughout your life is to choose your activities wholeheartedly accordingly to what brings you fulfilment at each stage of your life… and then when that particular season of your life comes to an end, know that you can transition, and pivot into something new. You don’t have to burn bridges or forgo commitments.

What’s your life’s work right now?

In the following questions, I use the word “work” to describe your day to day activities. At BeFulfilled, the two-day retreat where we explore these themes in more detail, we use the phrase “life’s work” as a nod to the fact that this doesn’t have to refer to paid work or a career. Your life’s work might be:

  • Raising children
  • Making art
  • Being a carer for someone you love
  • Giving back to your community in some way.

How to use these questions

You might want to grab your journal and jot down your thoughts on these 4 points, or simply sit and think about how you’d answer them. Or why not forward this article to a friend and take it in turns to ask each other these questions?

However you choose to explore, it’s worth taking the time to consider which of these ingredients might need a little more attention in your life right now. 

4 ingredients of a fulfilled life

1. Do you find MEANING in your current work?

The first ingredient to fulfilment is meaning.

Finding meaning in what you’re doing doesn’t have to mean you’re engaged in profound or even stimulating activities every moment of every day. Raising children is certainly a meaningful job, but it sure as hell involves plenty of less-than-meaningful activities – most of them involving bodily fluids.

Perhaps your work has you mired in spreadsheets or grappling with awkward clients more often than you’d like, but overall do you feel a sense of meaning behind what you do? Does it fit into a bigger picture you’re invested in – whether for you personally, for your family, or for the planet?

Which leads me to the second ingredient when it comes to feeling fulfilled:

Contribution.

2. Does your work allow you to make a CONTRIBUTION in some way?

Contribution is the feeling that you’re giving something through the work you do. That you’re making a difference to the planet, or your community, or to other people. It will look very different for everyone.

It might be voluntary work that makes a difference to your local community. A position in academia that helps move research forward. Feeling that you’re developing and growing your team into truly outstanding individuals.

To what extent do you feel that your current work allows you to give something back to the world?

3. Does your work bring you JOY?

I’m not suggesting that fulfillment can only arrive when you’re in a state of constant happiness. (For starters, I’m not actually sure that exists). But if we don’t have an enthusiasm for what we’re doing each day, it’s hard to have a sense that we’re really as fulfilled as we could be.

Joy is a feeling that many of us weren’t taught to look for in our work, and yet when we experience it, it can be a catalyst for profound change and impact that’s far easier than if you’re gritting your teeth and “pushing through” each day.

How much joy do you currently experience? How could you find more?

The final ingredient is one that feels great when we get to really experience it:

4. Does your work give you opportunities for EXCELLENCE?

Whether it’s cleaning, coaching or managing million-dollar budgets, when you’re truly excellent at whatever it is you’re doing there’s an unparalleled feeling of satisfaction that arises. Excellence occurs when your gifts, talents and abilities are utilized to the full, so that you’re really aware that you’re doing your very best work.

Excellence is something we often value greatly in others but can sometimes find it hard to acknowledge in ourselves. Try thinking about the moments when you are most “in your flow” – when time seems to pass without you noticing, and you’re fully absorbed in whatever it is you’re doing. Often, they’re the times when you’re working in your most excellent way – and can lead to a sense of intense fulfillment when you look back at what you’ve achieved.

The fulfilment paradox

Of course, while we can identify certain ingredients that can lead to feeling fulfilled, it’s also true that fulfillment is just a feeling. An emotional state. There’s no litmus test anyone can perform to decide whether or not you “should” be feeling fulfilled right now.

If you’d like to explore the idea of fulfillment more deeply, or if you’re at a point where things are shifting and you know you’re being called to adapt what once worked for you, get in touch with our team to find out what tools and programs might make all the difference.

I’d love to know what you found came up for you as you read these questions. Are there any others you’d add? Share in the comments below.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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How can personal development help me?

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Personal development is everywhere these days – from branded journals to bestselling self-help books. But for the average woman juggling everything, it can all start to feel like one more thing to add on to your list – along with saving the world, going to the gym, and taking out the recycling. If you’ve found yourself asking “how can personal development help me?” you’re not alone.

What is personal development?

In a nutshell, personal development is any investment (of time, money or energy) that you make in yourself.

Personal development can take a number of different forms, including:

  • Profile tests and quizzes which give you insight into your patterns of behaviour and help you understand your strengths and weaknesses
  • Empowering books sharing processes or mindset shifts – you’ve probably come across a few of these
  • Workshops and trainings in specific tools like leadership, time management, or managing conflict
  • 1:1 work with a coach or trained professional
  • Practices or rituals like journalling, meditating or mindfulness

Have you come across other forms of personal development?

Sharing what’s worked (and what hasn’t) with other women is a great way for us to all expand our resources. Let us know your experience in the comments at the end of this article.

How can personal development help me?

Whatever form of personal development you decide to do, first and foremost it’s important to understand how it can (and can’t) help you.

What personal development can’t help you with

Personal development has its limits. It can’t replace technical or industry-specific training and information. If your goal is to become a brain surgeon, getting to know yourself and learning how to adopt a more successful mindset will help you manage your work but won’t replace medical school when it comes to wielding a scalpel.

And there are times when the support you’re looking for will go beyond personal development. Therapy, counselling and mental health support might be more appropriate interventions when you’re in need of deeper support, and personal development doesn’t replace those.

But if you’re looking for practical changes to your everyday experience, and tired of feeling as though you’re stuck in any area of your life, here’s how personal development can help.

5 ways personal development can help you

1. Personal development can help you stand up for yourself

You might be really clear on what’s important to you, how you want to be treated, and the way you’d like to spend your time. And yet, people in your life just seem to walk all over your preferences and, because you’re not someone who enjoys conflict, you’re not really sure how to stop them.

If you find yourself slipping into martyr mode – where you’re doing everything to make other people’s lives better and not getting anything in return – it might be time to explore how you can become a more powerful version of yourself.

Topics to explore: Confidence, boundaries, personal power, speaking up

2. Personal development can help you understand WHY things happen

Are certain patterns repeating themselves in your life? Perhaps other people never seem to respect your time and are always cancelling appointments at the last minute. Or you always seem to feel inadequate about your weaknesses, even though you know your strengths lie in other areas.

When you understand what makes you tick, and have a sense of your unique abilities as well as your challenges, you’re able to let go of a lot of energy-sucking anxiety and worry. You can look at the root cause of issues, rather than just their “symptoms”. The difference that can make in the results you achieve is often surprising.

Topics to explore: Personality profiles, mindset, habits

3. Personal development can reset your results

When you understand yourself better, you’re more able to make decisions based on your unique personality. You might choose to completely stop certain things which are always a struggle, and instead focus your energy on the behaviours which really create results.

Maybe you’re a business owner who really struggles to stay on top of your systems. Emails get lost, client details misfiled and your calendar is, quite frankly, a mess. Instead of beating yourself up for not being more organized, you might discover that your real talent lies in face to face connection and in the amazing power you have to transform individuals you spend time with. So, you decide to stop trying to “fix” yourself, hire support with the administration, and focus your energy on what you’re really good at.

The result? Outcomes way beyond what seemed possible when you were stuck wearing all the hats.

Topics to explore: Mindset, goals, how to be effective, leadership

4. Personal development can change your perspective

It’s easy for us to get stuck in “echo-chambers” or “bubbles” on social media and in our communities. When you spend all your time with people who never take a break, that can start to feel normal.

But personal development can often open your eyes to a totally different way of looking at things. Maybe your coach asks you a question about a habit you’ve never thought to question: do you really need to spend Sunday evening preparing for the work week? Would your family mutiny if you decided to order a takeaway once a week instead of cooking? Is hiring a cleaner really beyond your budget?

One of the most powerful things we can do is learn to question the assumptions we take for granted – and use them to create change.

Topics to explore: Coaching, mindfulness, abundance, mindset

5. Personal development can help you be more you

It’s easy to be sceptical about the latest “trend” in personal development, or to assume that it might lead to burning incense, hugging your boss and reciting mantras in the mirror. (All of those things are totally fine, by the way – they just might not be your style!)

The thing to remember about personal development is it’s just that: personal.

Whether you choose to start a quiet journaling habit when the kids have gone to bed, invest in a coach who can help you work out how you’re holding yourself back, or commit to a course that will change the way you think about your marriage, what you choose to do is up to you.

Topics to explore: Journalling, meditation, how to change your life

The clue’s in the name

The most powerful, successful and impactful women I know didn’t get to where they are by pushing on and ignoring their own needs. Far from a waste of your time, investing in personal development means you can make sure you’re using it in the most efficient and effective way.

If you’ve found yourself rolling your eyes at someone else’s latest personal development trend, remember that we’re all different. Taking the time to work out what will best support you might lead to something completely different – and a transformed experience.

I’m curious: what’s your take on the personal development thing? Are you a course junkie or a self-help evangelist? Or do you tend more to the sceptical side of things? Let us know in the comments.

If you’re not sure where to get started, Life’s Little Toolkit is a mini kit we gathered together of the top resources our community love to use. From how to get out of overwhelm to how to stop worrying, it’s packed with helpful advice and step-by-step tools.

Click here to download yours now – and let us know which one works best for you.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Can you do coaching certification online?

By

Annie Stoker

Annie Stoker

Master Trainer and Head of Coaching at One of many
Annie Stoker is perhaps the UK's most educated coach and trainer in what it takes to be happy. She has distilled 27 years experience in diverse psychological and spiritual perspectives into a simple but profound manual for the mind: The Personal Development Handbook.” She has coached influential figures, and been featured widely on TV, radio and in print.

Having experienced not just health and sickness, but also success and failure, marriage and divorce, wealth and poverty, Annie now knows that real growth is not another ‘let’s make it all ok’ campaign. It’s about finding the truth at the core of ourselves so that we have the inner freedom to deal with whatever life throws at us.
Annie Stoker

Latest posts by Annie Stoker (see all)

If you’ve decided that you want to become a coach you’re probably already excited about making powerful transformation a bigger part of the work you do in the world. Naturally you’re curious about how certification works – can you do coaching certification online? Do you need to choose a residential course? And what do you need to be aware of when choosing a coaching training program?

No two coaches are the same

Every coach embarks on their journey to certification with a totally unique background, set of experiences, and motivation.

You might be planning to add coaching tools to your existing work as a manager or a leader in a corporate setting. You’re confident that coaching is going to be the missing piece when it comes to radically shifting the results that are possible – in an environment that brings the very best out of the people you work with.

Or maybe you’re ready to go it alone. You want to set up your own business and run it exactly how you want to you – perhaps offer coaching sessions via Skype or phone from your home, and you’re wondering if you could do the certification process remotely too.
Here are some things to consider when choosing the coaching certification that’s right for you.

Coaching certification online

The beauty of technology means that these days it’s perfectly possible to undertake coaching training online from anywhere in the world.

Profound transformation can take place over video call; you can observe coaching sessions and receive feedback on your own practice remotely; and trainers can answer questions, provide support and help you reflect on challenges from anywhere in the world.

Advantages

  • Convenient no matter where you are or how easy it is for you to travel: if you’ve got an internet connection, you’re good to go
  • If you’re planning on coaching remotely, it makes sense to complete your training in the same format
  • You can choose the training provider that’s right for you regardless of their location

Disadvantages

  • If you’re on the other side of the world, timezones can be an issue – always check the times of live components to make sure you don’t miss out
  • If you never meet your peers or teachers face to face, it can take longer to develop rapport
  • Completing certification from your own environment means you’ll need to be disciplined about creating the appropriate space to learn

Coaching certification in-person

In a world that’s ever more connected digitally, face-to-face interaction has a unique quality. It feels richer and more potent than ever. The connection we feel and the learning we’re able to experience when we’re physically present has a very different quality to it. And the very act of travelling to a different location can help facilitate an even deeper learning experience.

So what are the pros and cons of completing your coaching certification in person?

Advantages

  • If you’re going to be coaching in person, for example of part of managing the team, having training that takes into account your body language and presentation is invaluable
  • No need to worry about creating an appropriate place to learn – that’s all taken care of for you
  • If you’re a kinaesthetic learner, in person training is likely to match your learning style better
  • The intense nature of setting aside back to back training days, means lessons can be integrated more deeply without the interruption of every-day life
  • You’ll make closer friends with your cohort of trainees- people who will be your peer support group as you venture into your new profession or role

Disadvantages

  • There may be additional costs for travel and accommodation
  • Your choice of training provider will be limited by your ability to travel
  • Your time commitment may need to be greater

What about a blend of the two?

Finally, there is the option of undertaking a certification which blends online and off-line components. This means you get to combine some of the advantages of both virtual and live courses. For example, we teach much of our own coaching certification remotely – allowing our trainees to observe coaching sessions, experience coaching, and be mentored on their practice.

Our five day intensive, on the other hand, is held in person and live. It’s when our coaching trainees come together in person to experience deep transformation and connect with their peers and our trainers in real life. At the moment it’s not an experience we think can be replicated online, meaning our global trainees travel to the UK to experience that part of the training. (They’ve flown to the UK from Australia, New Zealand, the Netherlands, Kuwait, Switzerland, Germany and the USA so far!)

Advantages

  • Different learning styles will suit different teaching methods, and you’ll get to experience the full range
  • Learning how to coach both in person and online will give you an insight into the differences each format brings to your coaching practice
  • Travel costs and time commitment will be significantly reduced if you can complete part of the training at home
  • A live component will allow you to connect more deeply with your training provider and your fellow students meaning your post-graduation support network is profound
  • Virtual spaces to learn and connect with trainers and peers can support you wherever you are in the world, no matter where your coaching takes you!

Disadvantages

  • You’ll still be responsible for some travel, and possibly accommodation
  • Dates for live elements are likely to be planned well in advance, and might not be flexible
  • Connections that are made in person may have to be maintained online depending on your proximity to the other trainees

However you do it, coaching training is transformational

When you train as a coach, you’re learning how to use tools and techniques that can create huge transformation for people.

During coach training you not only learn to work with these tools with your prospective clients, but you also experience what it’s like to receive coaching yourself.

So it’s important you choose the environment that is right for you, and which fits with both your learning style and the vision you have for your future coaching practice.

If you’re trying to make a decision about which coaching certification to choose right now and would like to talk through what’s available with a member of our team we’d be really happy to help. Just click here to contact us and we’ll be in touch to arrange the best time for a call.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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How to start a coaching business

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Imagine:

  • Spending your days with inspiring clients, watching them go on to make a massive difference in their communities.
  • Supporting women to step into their power with powerful choices that work for them and their families.
  • Choosing your hours, playing to your strengths and getting paid for what you love to do.

Sounds like a dream come true, doesn’t it – but surely being a coach can’t be all roses?

What do you need to be aware of before taking the leap? If you’ve ever wondered about making the shift to become a coach, but felt like you wouldn’t know where to start, then here are five things to bear in mind.

How to start a coaching business in 5 steps

1. Find your “big why”

Any big transition in life, but especially one like training as a coach, needs purpose. After all, to become a coach you’ll need to invest time, energy and money, and knowing your reason for doing that is what will keep your motivation and momentum going.

In Simon Sinek’s groundbreaking book, Start With Why, he explored how the greatest leaders used their “Big Why” to inspire others. So what’s your “Big Why” for becoming a coach?

For many women in our community, coaching will allow them to make a real difference to causes they’re truly passionate about. Take Anna.

“6 out of every 100 UK people experience domestic abuse. 6.7% of all women. 1 in 4 LGBT women (from their partners). Around 80% of trans people. Half of all gay and bi men (from partners or family members). One of those women is me.

When I imagine the world in 7 generations time, I want to see these figures be drastically different, or even gone.

My next commitment to this future is to complete my One of Many coaching certification to work alongside Newcastle Women’s Aid to offer coaching to the women who access their service, to help them reclaim their soft power and move forward into fruitful, vital, happier lives. To help them lead more change in the world when they can.” – Anna Knight

Playing an active part in building the future we want to create is a huge driver for many coaches. Through supporting and championing their clients, they’re able to create a “ripple effect” that has an impact far beyond their individual contribution.

Your “Big Why” might be about empowering corporate leaders to make courageous decisions, or helping mums reconnect to themselves after having children. It could be something totally different! Get clear on what it is, and you’ll find that every other action you take flows from that well of inspiration.

2. Get qualified

Coaching is much more than a conversation or supportive words. The greatest, and most successful, coaches have a whole wealth of tools at their disposal as well as the confidence to lead their clients through complex and sometimes challenging transformations.

Our One of many women’s coaching certification is a rigorous program designed to give you all the skills you need to become a confident and effective coach. Our graduates are trained in using unique, cutting edge and proven tools to unleash the leadership potential of the women they work with – and through our comprehensive training, have the full support to practice and implement them.

There are lots of coaching certifications out there, and they’re all different – so do your homework before making an investment. Some things to consider might be:

  • What’s the focus of the program, and does it fit with my values?
  • How do the organizers respond to questions? Can I have a conversation with someone to check if this is the right fit for me?
  • What’s the feedback like from previous graduates?

If you could do with a hand comparing the different options, feel free to get in touch and someone in the office will be happy to talk them through.

3. Figure out what you’re selling

So you’ve done your training, got your qualification, and you’re ready to get started. Fab! Now what?

Well, some of our graduates decide they want to use the tools they’ve learned within an organization, to help them manage their teams and lead more effectively. But if you decide to set up your own business, there’s a really key thing to bear in mind. A lot of coaches make the mistake of trying to get clients by selling them “coaching”.

When the truth is, the impact you’ll have on your clients isn’t that you’ll have “coached” them. It’ll be in:

  • The pay rise they’re finally able to ask for (and get!)
  • The connection and trust that’s returned to their relationship
  • The clutch of anxiety they used to feel every day when they wake up has melted away

See the difference? Build a business around the changes you help your clients make, rather than the way you help them get to that change, and you’ll find clients much easier to come by.

4. Make sure you have support

As your work grows and evolves, nothing beats having a group of equally committed and excited peers to keep you on track, help you navigate challenges, and support you as your business expands. (Our coaching grads stay in touch via our private Facebook group – a place to celebrate each other, share challenges and ask questions.)

You might also want to investigate a coaching mentor going forward – someone to help suggest areas of growth and development, and help support you through any tricky times. Ask any training provider how they support their coaches and what network you’ll have access to in future.

5. Plan your transition

You’re inspired – coaching is for you, and you’re ready to sign up and get started. Time to wave goodbye to the day job, set up a website, and watch the clients roll in, right?

Well, we’d certainly love that to be your experience – but the reality is, making any change takes time. All sorts of factors will impact how quickly coaching can become your main focus, including your finances, time, and other commitments.

Take the time to plan the transition, get advice and support when you need it, and reach out to others doing the same thing.

If you’re thinking about coaching and have a question, post it in the comments below! And if you’re already a coach, let us know what lessons you’d share with someone just starting out. Your experience might make all the difference.

Time for a change?

If you’d like to find out more about our coaching training, click here to read the full details. The first step is to book in a no-obligation chat with one of our team so we can find out if this would be a great fit for you. Just click the button at the bottom of the page to schedule a call.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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What makes a career meaningful?

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

What makes a career meaningful? We all have good days and bad days – times when it feels like your tasks are flying off the to-do list, and others when it’s more like wading through treacle. But apart from the usual ups and downs, do you feel like your days are spent doing work that’s ultimately fulfilling?

It might sound obvious, but it’s worth emphasising: there’s no “one size fits all” when it comes to building a meaningful career.

I started my career training as a doctor – for lots of people, one of the most meaningful careers they can find. After all, it’s helping people at a really fundamental level: with their health. For me, however, it became apparent relatively quickly that while I knew I wanted to help people, it wasn’t as part of the medical profession.

Working in a career that isn’t as meaningful as it could be is often the catalyst for us embarking on a journey to discover what really is our life’s purpose.

You might have had a similar experience of shifting careers or roles. Perhaps you’ve had a break from employment, started your own business, or been a full-time mum for a few years.

Whatever your experience, here are 3 questions to ask yourself when considering whether your career is as meaningful as it could be – and what you might need to change.

1. What are your values?

What makes a career meaningful to you is not the same as it is for me. That’s because each of us has a unique set of values – the things which bring you joy, fulfillment and happiness.

For you to find meaning in your career, it needs to connect to your values in some way. (That’s not to say that you necessarily need to be working in an area that’s directly related to a value.)

For example, creativity might be a really high value for you, but you don’t need to be working in a traditionally “creative” career to express that through your work.

Perhaps you’re an engineer who excels at finding creative solutions to problems, or a teacher who brings creativity to lesson delivery. Maybe your career allows you the time and resources to bring creativity into your life in other ways – art supplies, the band you love to play in, or the garden you’re cultivating.

You might bring your values into the way you manage your team, lead your family, or run your business.

Knowing your values and exploring how they relate to your work can help you see if there are any values that aren’t currently being met at all – and think about how you could pivot to include them.

Prompts for reflection:

Take some time to think about what your top 5 values are. How are they reflected in your life right now? Does your career involve all, some, or none right now? Which ones would you like to have more of? How could you bring them into your career?

2. What’s your life’s purpose?

Granted, this isn’t a simple question, or one you’ll necessarily have an answer to at all right now. Your life’s purpose is a concept that will most likely evolve throughout your life.

I’ve heard of some people who discover their life’s purpose as a dream or a vision that descends from on high. Lucky them! For me, the process has been one of a gradual evolution and exploration.

I compare it to peeling back the layers of an onion – around each version of your purpose are ever more fuzzy versions of it, each one needing to be lived through and “burned up” to get to the next level.

So, start thinking about your life’s purpose in broad terms. Looking back at the experiences you’ve lived through and the work you’ve done so far, is there a common thread that connects them? It might be something really subtle – your values can really help here when it comes to seeing what it is.

Perhaps you’ve brought a playful energy to serious tasks – been the person who is able to inject a sense of lightness and fun to important responsibilities. Or maybe you’ve had a knack for bonding teams together, connecting people and allowing them to create fruitful collaborations.

When I first started my personal development journey the purpose I came up with was “To transform”. I’ve honed and refined that over the years, but the essence remains.

Prompts for reflection:

Take 5 minutes and play with a one-word life purpose. If you had to break down what you’re here to do into one word, what would you choose? How does it feel? How might that guide you as you think about where your career is heading?

3. How can you connect to yourself?

Getting closer to your life’s purpose isn’t something that happens overnight. It will change and evolve with time. But if you’re starting to think about what makes your career meaningful, the best place to start is to spend some time cultivating your connection to yourself.

In case you needed the reminder, connecting to yourself isn’t selfish. It allows you to show up more fully in your relationships, at work and as a parent. It also gives you a space to tap into your values, the change you want to be a part of, and the difference only you can make.

Try making space each morning to journal your thoughts and feelings. These “morning pages” are suggested by Julia Cameron in the Artist’s Way as a way to reconnect with your creativity – but you don’t need to be an artist of any kind to benefit from the space to explore what’s coming up in a private, safe space that no one else will see.

Creating a meaningful career isn’t something someone else can give you a blueprint for. It starts with you connecting to yourself and understanding what matters most to you – and taking action from that place.

Prompts for reflection

Using what you’ve discovered about your values and your life’s purpose, use morning pages as a tool to explore the level of meaning in your career. Try exploring the idea of a meaningful career in your morning pages every day for a week, and see what you learn.

Careers with meaning

Coaching is one of the most meaningful careers out there, because it revolves around connecting deeply with others and supporting them to have the impact they’re truly capable of. When you have the tools you need to make a powerful difference, the work you do can have an incredible effect on the world.

If you feel called to find out more about becoming a coach, click here to find out about our one-of-a-kind training.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Guest blog: Why don’t we (actually) change the world?

By

Sara Price

Sara Price

Sara is a coach and mentor with over 25 years of experience in campaigning and communications. As well as her ongoing work with Pagefield, the leading independent communications agency that she co-founded in 2010, Sara is a One of Many Certified Coach, a Mastercoach and soon to be author.
Sara Price

Latest posts by Sara Price (see all)

My vision is a world in which everyone who wants to change the world for the better is inspired and empowered to do so.

It’s a big vision. Making this vision a reality is like eating the proverbial elephant – I’ll be doing it one bite at a time and in collaboration with many others – including the amazing Founder of One of Many, Joanna Martin. The current ‘bite’ is to write a book – catchily entitled ‘How to (Actually) Change the World’. That’s a lot to deliver in 55,000 words but I’m going to give it my best shot!

As part of my research, I’ve spoken to hundreds of people all over the world about the kind of changes they want to create, and what gets in the way of them actually doing it. So if you’re on a mission to change the world right now and you’re feeling blocked; or if you are feeling increasingly called to make a difference, to make an impact on this beautiful planet of ours, but you’re not sure how to go about it – please read on, because you are not alone.

Here’s what I’ve found so far…

So…Who Wants to Change the World?

An awful lot of us want to change the world. . If you’re an active member of the BeOne Global Community on Facebook, you may have seen and perhaps completed my survey for actual and aspiring changemakers. Of the people who have filled in the survey thus far, EVERYONE wants to change the world in some way.

When asked if there was something they would like to change to make the world a better place, 47% said that there were so many things they didn’t know where to start! Another 24% had one big issue that they were truly passionate about. Everyone else felt passionate about 2 or 3 main subjects and couldn’t pick one.

How Do We Want to Change the World?

We want to change the world for other women. My survey may be slightly skewed because of where it was posted and the kinds of women who’ve completed it, but of all the issues that we are passionate about, the top three categories are:

  • Women’s issues
  • Environment
  • Education & training

In other words, the issues which matter most to us are: other women; the planet and the next generation.

Some of us are dedicating our working lives to these issues. About 12% of respondents have already set up / run or work for a social enterprise dealing with the specific issue that they are most passionate about. Another 12% are operating in the charitable sphere on their number one issue.

Many respondents wrote in comments that tackling their number one issue was the mission of their business. That’s a lot of women dedicating their working lives to making the world a better place!

Many of those who work in other fields are taking action in their personal time. Nearly 95% of us are talking to friends and family – trying to persuade them of the importance of our cause. 85% have taken to social media to make our point and demonstrate our passion. Over 80% have signed online petitions.

Are We Making Progress?

Most of us feel that we’re not making enough progress. Amongst the social entrepreneurs, charity leaders and those whose professional mission is to change the world, only 30% were satisfied with the progress they are making.

Most of us want to do more: Of those who are taking action in their personal time, a whopping 97% want to do more but are hampered by a perceived lack of time and a feeling of not knowing where to start. The same feeling that stops about 20% of us from taking any action at all.

And that is where I hope that my book will help.

It’s Not Complicated…

I understand that changing the world can seem overwhelming but here is what I believe: changing the world may be hard work but it is not actually that complicated.

I can already feel the waves of disagreement and disbelief heading my way but, I’m sticking to my guns here because I genuinely believe that in principle changing the world is not complicated. It requires only one thing: you have to make people care.

You have to make companies care enough to change their policies; or make politicians care enough to change legislation; or make individuals care enough to change their behaviour and / or their minds. You have to know who holds the power to make the change, and you have to make them care enough to do it.

In Fact, It’s Really Quite Simple…

To make people care, you need to harness the power of great communications. It’s about communicating your message to the right people at the right time in a way that feels compelling to them. That’s it.

Now, there are a lot of experts out there with a vested interest in making you think that this is difficult. The more jargon they use, the more complex they make it seem – the more valuable their expertise appears and the more you are made to feel disempowered and dependent on their expertise.

This is where I hope my book will help. I plan to show you exactly how simple great communications can be. I will walk you through how to develop a comprehensive campaign plan for your vision that makes people care enough to create change.

So at the end of the process, you’ll be equipped to make a difference. You can make people care.

You can ACTUALLY change the world.

So…How Do You Want to Change the World?

This is a community full of changemakers and women with huge visions for how to change the world for the better.

So tell me, what ONE thing would you change about the world if you could wave a magic wand? What causes are you passionate about, and what change are you already creating through your life and work?

Share in the comments below, and let’s support each other to create the change we want to see.

And, if you have a moment, I’d be grateful if you would take part in my survey. Tell me how you want to change the world and how I can help you.

And as a great big thank you for doing so, I’m offering one participant the chance to win a 2-hour PR and communications brainstorm with a leading London PR agency, Pagefield (the one I co-founded!). Just click the link below to take the survey and be in with a chance of winning:

https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/HowToActuallyChangetheWorld

About Sara Price

The Knitting, Baby-whispering Karaoke queen!

Sara is a coach and mentor with over 25 years of experience in campaigning and communications. As well as her ongoing work with Pagefield, the leading independent communications agency that she co-founded in 2010, Sara is a One of Many Certified Coach, a Mastercoach and soon to be author!

Sara began her career in Parliament developing an in-depth understanding of the corridors of power. She then moved on to work as a political advisor to UNICEF where she witnessed the power of individuals and organisations to effect change on a global scale. She sat on the UK Board of one of the world’s largest PR agencies, H&K Strategies, and in 2010 she co-founded Pagefield.

Over the course of her career, she has developed communications programmes for some of the biggest brands in the world from Kelloggs to EDF Energy; advised organisations as diverse as Allied Bakeries and Variety, the Children’s Charity; and co-created multi-national campaigns for Global Peace Ambassador Prem Rawat.

Sara’s newest venture – How to Actually Change the World – is in development right now. If you’d like to help to shape the whole programme and be on the list to hear more, please sign up by emailing sara@renaissance-life.co

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How to ask for help without being needy

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Have you ever got to the point of total overwhelm and exhaustion… not because you didn’t have the support around you, but because you just didn’t know how to ask for help?

I had one particularly memorable meltdown after spending the day with a new team member. Ironically, this amazing woman was someone I’d hired to take the pressure off me!

But I’d probably left it a little late to start to delegate… and by the end of a full day of training and induction, I was experiencing that “frog in boiling water” thing. You know – where you don’t realize how much the stress is building up because it increases little by little, incrementally, until you’re at breaking point.

Once I’d calmed down and looked back at all the triggers that had finally got on top of me, I realized that I’d been doing a whole lot of supporting of the others all around me, and not getting the support I needed. And I had only myself to blame.

Sound familiar?

I had a whole crew of super competent people ready to help me. But I’d fallen into the habit of thinking that I didn’t want to bother my incredibly supportive – but also incredibly busy – team with things. So I ended up doing more and more, and eventually something had to give – and that something was me.

Maybe you can relate. You might also be someone who finds it really, really hard to ask for help – even when there are plenty of people who’d be happy to give you a boost when you need it.

Why it’s hard to ask for help

Strong, independent women often share a huge fear – that of being “needy”. After all, we make things happen for ourselves.

Even if you’re not a business owner you probably do have a team, by which I simply mean people who are willing to help you out: it could be an assistant, a childminder, or even just someone who gives you a hand with the ironing once a week. It might be your best friend, your partner or your mum.

But actually asking for that help brings us into conflict with the ‘superwoman’ part of us that sees receiving help as a sign of weakness.

There’s a vulnerability that comes with asking for help that seems deep-wired into our psychology, and that can stop us from reaching out to let other people know what we need.

Perhaps you resist delegating because, deep down, you don’t trust other people to do as good a job as you do.

Or you think it’ll take just as long to teach someone else to do it… so even relatively unimportant jobs linger on your ever-growing list of things to do.

Whatever your reasons for going it alone, the bottom line is all of us have a finite amount of time. Asking for help is essential if you’re going to make the difference you want to – and avoid burnout.

Help is closer than you think

Most successful women know we need to get help. “I know I need a new PA” we tell our partners for the fourteenth time. “I should ask Helen to help me update my resume…” we muse over after work drinks.

And yet, our fear of being seen as needy and our discomfort with receiving help gets in our way. Plus, what if someone says no? In fact, you’re actually much more likely to receive the help you want than you think.

One study by Cornell University found that we underestimate the likelihood of people helping us by a whopping 48% – in other words, people are almost twice as likely to help you than you imagine.

So, deep down you’re pretty sure you need support, and you’re much more likely to get it than you imagine when you do ask. How can you get over the hump and access the help you need?

The PowerTypes answer

Here at One of many we use 5 Womens PowerTypes™ to guide us to our most powerful form of leadership. These powerful models of feminine power each have specific strengths we can draw on when we need to – and it’s the PowerType of Queen we connect to when we want to practice the art of receiving.

Think about Queen Elizabeth, receiving a brave explorer who brought her a treasure from a far off land. Did she tell him “Oh no, you shouldn’t have bothered… I couldn’t possibly accept that?”

No. She receives his gift graciously. Fully in her power, she thanks him for the trouble he has gone to – and he receives that thanks as his reward. A cycle is created, where both parties benefit.

The act of receiving help graciously is, also, a gift.

When we don’t know how to receive help gracefully, our discomfort can sabotage the arrangement we’ve made. We find some way to unravel it: we don’t say thank you to our friend for the favour they’ve done and they get upset… we hire a PA and after 3 months we stop wanting to bother them. The work piles up, and you might even doubt their competence, when in reality what’s happened is your inner superwoman has kicked in.

(Unlike the Queen, Superwoman hates asking for help, which means she’s terrible at receiving.)

If you’ve been wearing your Superwoman cape more than your crown lately, here are 4 steps to asking for help without being needy

1. Start by recognizing that help is fundamental to the success of your business, family and community

There’s a lot at stake here. Consider what you provide for your children, your relationship, your team members, your community.

The work you provide for other subcontractors and service providers.

Given all that, can you see that taking care of your wellbeing is an absolute MUST? If you are not being energetically supported, and opening it up to others, then your wellbeing diminishes, and eventually it stops. So being fully supported wherever you need is a vital part of your work in the world.

2. Be specific about how you ask

What would be most useful to you? Rather than “I need help with this presentation”, think about what would make the most difference.

Do you want someone to read through your slides, to spend an hour as you run through what you want to say, or to give you feedback on the overall message?

Do you need your PA to block out time in your diary for you to get stuck into writing, send a quick “got your message” response to someone who’s waiting for an email, or take ownership of the sales spreadsheet you’re forever behind with updating?

It’s much easier for people to give you a clear answer to a specific offer – or to refer you to someone who they know will be able to help.

And when you do ask, don’t pre-empt a no

The data is clear – we’re much more likely to get a “yes” to a request than we imagine. So don’t fall into the trap of assuming it’ll be a no, or weighing down the request by saying things like “I know this is a total pain” or “You’re probably way too busy for this…”

Try thinking about how you feel when someone asks you for a hand. Most likely, you’re happy to help out – or, if you can’t, to say a polite “no”. The same probably goes for your friends, family and colleagues.

Focus on the difference it would make in a positive way – “This would save me loads of time” or “It would really make me feel less anxious to know you were there” and you’ll help the person you’re asking feel great about saying yes too.

3. Step into your Queen – and receive graciously

When you’re in the mindset of the Queen, the help you receive is a gift. It might be a great piece of advice from your accountant, a loving hug from your partner, or the person delivering your groceries.… whenever anyone is doing something to help you out, don’t push them away. Be gracious, be serene, be open to receiving. The way you graciously receive is, in turn, a gift to the giver.

A door being opened, being helped with your luggage, some hand-me-down toys from the neighbours, a smile from a stranger – every little gift you receive activates the archetype of the queen. And the more you receive, the more you will attract gifts into your life – it’s a deeply powerful practice.

It sounds obvious, but turning around the paradigm of doing everything ourselves takes all of us to play our part. Be open about the help you need, and generous with the ways you can help other people. By modelling what it’s like to give and receive help generously, you’ll help those around you break free from superwoman too.

Want to explore the Queen further?

If you’d like to learn more about the Women’s PowerTypes™, including a full description and a playlist of music that can help you tap into the energy of the Queen, download the “Life’s Little Toolkit”. As well as our favourite resources to stop worrying and beat overwhelm, it contains a guide to the Womens PowerTypes™ and suggestions for music to help you embody each one. Click here to access your FREE Toolkit now.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Guest blog: Mindfulness for women

By

Annie Stoker

Annie Stoker

Master Trainer and Head of Coaching at One of many
Annie Stoker is perhaps the UK's most educated coach and trainer in what it takes to be happy. She has distilled 27 years experience in diverse psychological and spiritual perspectives into a simple but profound manual for the mind: The Personal Development Handbook.” She has coached influential figures, and been featured widely on TV, radio and in print.

Having experienced not just health and sickness, but also success and failure, marriage and divorce, wealth and poverty, Annie now knows that real growth is not another ‘let’s make it all ok’ campaign. It’s about finding the truth at the core of ourselves so that we have the inner freedom to deal with whatever life throws at us.
Annie Stoker

Latest posts by Annie Stoker (see all)

Mindfulness is everywhere. You can buy books on Mindful Cooking, Mindful gardening, Mindful walking. There are mindfulness diaries and even Mindfulness colouring books! So what does mindfulness for women look like?

Mindfulness has become a buzz word and is being rolled out through corporate, health sectors, schools and even in Government. It is an attention training technique known for reducing stress and increasing relaxation.

Mindfulness for women

Mindfulness isn’t just about calming down and observing your thoughts. Mindfulness is actually about waking up! It’s a tool to become totally aware in the present moment, feel radically alive and completely open to your own experience. Not only can life become more vivid, enjoyable and interesting, but mindfulness also brings the opportunity for profound healing of unhelpful mental and emotional patterns.

How? You might well ask.

Well here at One of many we use the Cycle of Creation as a way of describing how we create our reality. Simply put in any moment, we create meaning about that moment based on our beliefs, values, history, health and ideas about Source. This meaning then creates our mood and that feeling then impacts what we move towards.

This all generally happens unconsciously, which means we often get results in life that we don’t really want. However, mindfulness allows us to bring awareness to this process and to interrupt the habitual patterns of reaction that we have.

Mindfulness in practice

For example imagine walking into a restaurant to meet some friends, but as soon as they see you they all stop laughing. What do you make this situation mean? Do you think they were laughing about you, feel really uncomfortable and walk out? Or do you decide that they were planning a fun party for your birthday, feel really excited and try to tickle them into telling you? Either way the rest of your day will be impacted.

With mindfulness you can become aware of the thoughts you are having about your friends laughter and let them pass by. This can allow you to calmly ask them what was really going on without jumping to conclusions.

Bringing non-judgmental awareness to your thoughts can also set you free from habitual patterns such as self-criticism, negativity, discouragement and wallowing.

Emotions and mindfulness

It’s very powerful to bring acceptance to your emotions too. We tend to have a few emotions we like and lots that we don’t. However, if we take the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ labels off what we are feeling, we can bring compassionate acceptance to whatever emotions have turned up.

Judging and therefore avoiding emotions is at the core of most people’s challenges. If you are worried about your performance at work, you’re probably trying to avoid the feelings of failure. If you’re feeling jealous and trying to control who your partner is seeing, you are probably trying to avoid rejection. If you don’t want to ask questions at a seminar, you may be trying to avoid the feelings of humiliation you’d have if you get it wrong.

By bringing heartful awareness to your feelings you can learn to tolerate all of them. Emotions aren’t actually good or bad. They are just sensations. Some are pleasant and some are uncomfortable. With emotional equity you can welcome all of them, even the painful ones. This allows you to have an empowering conversation with your boss, shine the light of honest exploration with your partner or get a helpful answer to a burning question at a seminar.

This gives you the freedom to act from your heart, rather than from the old fears and patterns in your mind. I actually think heartfulness is a much better term than mindfulness! Bringing full hearted acceptance to your feelings is at the core of self love. And self love, as I’m sure you know, is the key for connecting with your yummy Lover powertype!

How to bring more mindfulness into your life

Here are some tips for cultivating Mindfulness:

  • Mindful Moments
    Set an hourly alarm on your phone and for one minute each hour close your eyes, feel your feet on the floor, notice your breathing and bring all of your attention inside your body to what you are experiencing
  • Practicing Pauses
    Instead of arriving somewhere and jumping straight out of the car onto the next appointment, turn off the engine, pause and fully arrive. Give yourself a minute to breathe, feel this moment before shifting to the next scene change in the movie of life.
  • Body Awareness
    Bring your focus to your right big toe. Take your awareness right inside your big toe and notice the sensations of your sock, shoe or the other toes against your big toe. Next move to your left thigh and feel the clothes on your leg or any pressure or tightness. Pick random parts of your body to pay attention to during your day.
  • Mindful Movement
    Instead of planning tomorrow’s supper when you are brushing your teeth, bring your full awareness to the feelings of the brush against your teeth, the toothpaste tingling on your tongue, the muscles in your arm holding your toothbush. Try paying full attention to every footfall while you are walking, feeling the wind flow past your face and the swing of your arms. Bring fresh awareness to drinking water so that you can feel the weight of the glass, the coolness of the water in your mouth and follow it all the way down your throat as you swallow.
  • Cultivating Compassion
    Send a warm smile of acceptance to all your emotions. Welcome them as a valid part of your experience. Without judgment or labels, gently investigate the sensations of each emotion. Where are they in your body, what shape, what colour, how do they move? Notice what actually happens when you let yourself feel even a bit of them. Does the world really end?!

Mindfulness isn’t just a practice, it’s a way of life. Practice regularly and it becomes a new way of finding peace with what happens in life, joy in the simplest things and a freedom to bring all your gifts to the world. Enjoy!

About Annie Stoker

Psychotherapist. Author. Property Investor. Dog-Lover. Chilled-Out Friend.

Annie Stoker is perhaps the UK’s most educated coach and trainer in what it takes to be happy. She has distilled 27 years experience in diverse psychological and spiritual perspectives into a simple but profound manual for the mind: The Personal Development Handbook.” She has coached influential figures, and been featured widely on TV, radio and in print.

Having experienced not just health and sickness, but also success and failure, marriage and divorce, wealth and poverty, Annie now knows that real growth is not another ‘let’s make it all ok’ campaign. It’s about finding the truth at the core of ourselves so that we have the inner freedom to deal with whatever life throws at us.

Annie is our Master Trainer and Head of Coaching at One of Many.