One of Many

Woman looking to create change

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5 Easy Ways to Calm Your Money Chaos

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Money chaos is the disorganised way we all sometimes feel about money from time to time. But finding your way back to clarity doesn’t need to take years, or hours of learning from financial experts. It can start with a simple re-framing of your mindset. So today, let’s start really simple, with these 5 straightforward ways to take charge of your financial life.

Ready to calm your money chaos?

Maybe these are good habits you already practice – but events have thrown your usual good intentions out of whack, and you need a little reset to get you back on track. Or perhaps getting on top of your finances is something that keeps slipping off the to-do list, because frankly you don’t know where to start.

Whatever your situation right now, you could find one of many simple things you could do to step into the wealth that is waiting for you.

1. Check your balance.

Are you one of those people who feels anxious about checking the bank balance on your current account? Maybe you’re overdrawn, or maybe you know the figure in your head is most probably wrong. As we move around our busy lives with direct debits and debit cards and one-click purchasing it’s easy to lose track. Get into the habit of checking your balance every day and you will never get a nasty surprise again. The major banks all have easy to use apps to make checking your balance as simple as checking your email. This daily habit is the easy way to stay in control.

2. Find your money place.

Get it all together. Every bank account you ever opened. Check every purse or wallet for forgotten funds. Gather up all your loose change and your foreign cash. If you ever keep bank notes in a milk jug on a mantlepiece or in an envelope at the back of your bedside drawer get those too. Now take the loose change to the machine at your local supermarket, close old bank accounts one at a time, count up the screwed up fiver from your old jeans pocket and the pound coins from the bowl by the door. Do you feel rich yet? Stop throwing your money around.

3. Be thankful.

It’s easy to forget to be thankful for the roof over your head when you pay the rent. It’s easy to forget to be grateful for good food when the grocery bill is higher than you expected. When money leaves us we can sometimes feel resentful. The truth is that most of us can all afford basics and opportunities that people a lot less fortunate cannot take for granted. If you sometimes feel anxious about money this can be a powerful way of changing the energy around your finances.

4. Cash is Queen.

Try living without your debit card for a week, or even a month if you feel tough enough. Give yourself a cash budget and see how you get on. Considering this is how society operated until quite recently you might be surprised at how strange it feels. You can’t swipe for your petrol, you can’t shop online. Is the amount you gave yourself a true reflection of how much you really spend?

5. Work out what you want

When you’re in place of chaos, it can be easy to feel helpless. “I just want to have enough” we tell ourselves… but what does enough mean? Do you need to spend less, earn more, or have money flow into your life in a different way? Sometimes, getting clarity about what you have and recognising the control you have is enough to bring you back in control. In the words of Susie Heath, we’re moving “…away from the old traditional masculine paradigm of ‘more, more, more’ to “sufficiency and in harmony with the planet.”

How about you?

Do you have any other simple ideas of where to start when the money chaos gets too much? How is your relationship with money today? How can we help each other? We love to hear from you in the comments.

It’s the final call!

Wealth Insights is our 3.5 hour tour de force training on all things women and wealth. You’ll find out what can hold you back from the wealth you’re capable of enjoying; learn simple practical steps to make managing your money a breeze; and discover what you need to focus on right now to make a difference to your bank balance.

This year, registration is free and the event is taking place LIVE online on Saturday 1st August. Click here to book your place now.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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4 Ways to Treat Your Money Like a Lover

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Money is a force. It is a concentrated symbol of energy and power in life. And you have a unique relationship to your finances. That relationship is made up of things like how often you think about money, how you feel when you do, what matters to you when it comes to finances, and how you interact with your money. Like any other relationship, our connection with money can very wildly from day to day and year to year. And today I want to explore a way of thinking about your finances you might not have come across. What would happen if you started to treat your money like a lover?

Why it can be hard to treat money like a lover

Most of us are aware of the importance of hard work, determination, and drive to attract money. Love, on the other hand, isn’t a characteristic that’s often connected with finance.

In popular culture, financial competence tends to be associated either with a lack of feeling – think the dry and dusty desk clerk, staring at figures all day – or the opposite end of the scale, where avarice and greed take the place of deep and trusting love.

However, there are also other, more hidden and subtle ways to attract money, wealth, and prosperity.

When you think about it, the reason most of us want money comes from a place of love.

  • We want to be able to take care of the people we love – to give our families incredible experiences, be there for our friends when they need us, show our appreciation for people we care about.
  • We want to be able to have a meaningful impact on the world when we make choices about spending. Support local farmers, ethical businesses, companies with a sense of social justice.
  • We want to support and sustain ourselves – to show ourselves and our teams love by working less, taking better care of ourselves, reducing our stress and worry – so that we can be brighter, stronger builders of the future we want to see.

If our desire for money comes from love, why not show our money love?

Start taking real care of your money the way you would a treasured relationship and you might find you get the kind of rewards you dream of. Here are 4 ways to get started.

1. Give your money attention

It is a basic law of life that everything –- whether it is a physical object or a human being — responds to greater attention. Money is no exception. The best way to give attention to money is to account for it accurately and in a timely manner. Keeping precise and up-to-date accounts of money is a powerful mechanism for suddenly attracting more of it.

2. Honour your money’s freedom

Like any force, money needs to move freely in order to sustain itself. Holding back on paying, or otherwise hoarding money, prevents the free flow of energy, and thus the free flow of money. Do you insist on getting money in advance before you pay money out on a job? Reversing such an attitude will let money circulate, energy will flow, and life will reward you with good fortune.

3. Respect your money

If you don’t treat your money with the respect it deserves, don’t be surprised if it walks out on you. If you squander away funds or pay exorbitant amounts for things that can be purchased more cheaply you will repel the arrival of more funds. However, if you discover what it is that you waste your money on, and overcome that habit, your bank balance is likely to quickly respond.

4. Cultivate affection for your money

We all love money on one level, right? But what do you feel when you think about money? Do you really feel love? Or do you feel stress, pressure, panic and ultimately lack? Replacing these negative emotions with positive ones, so that in time you feel happy and uplifted when you think about money will help money to flow in the right direction.

How about you?

Do you treat your money like a lover, or does it feel strange or even “wrong” to consider money in those terms? What comes up for you when you consider treating money like a lover?

We’d love to know, let us know in the comments.

If you’d like to explore a new way of thinking about money that takes away the shame, brings in a whole lotta love and gives you practical, powerful actions to take, come along to Wealth Insights. It’s our focused money workshop that gives you the chance to talk about your finances in a safe and friendly environment – and leave with a map of how to change your financial situation for good. This year it’s taking place online on August 1st – and it’s absolutely free to join. Read the full details and book your place here.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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One of many voices: Carib Eats Founder Ali Kakande

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Ali Kakande is one of many women in our community making a big difference in her corner of the world. So when she reached out recently to share her Carib Eats project, we were intrigued to find out more.

Her story of grassroots leadership exemplifies so much of what we’re all about here at One of many.

Women collaborating and supporting each other. Women creating the change that is theirs to make. Women learning, growing and developing their leadership skills as they do it. I think you’re going to love this project as much as we do.

So here’s Ali, in her own words:

Tell us a bit about Carib Eats

Carib Eats started as one response to one request for help. I’m in a few local mutual aid groups on Whatsapp – voluntary groups helping distribute help and resources to people who need them most.

One Sunday back in March – just at the start of the Covid crisis – I saw a message from a resident who was worried her brother didn’t have a meal that night. It was a worry echoed up and down Hackney, as food insecurity quickly became an issue. Well, I was cooking at the time and the solution was obvious: I’d make an extra portion, and bring it over.

I spoke to my best mate, and she was in her kitchen too. “I’ll make some extra to share” she told me, when she found out what I was doing. Within the hour a meal was delivered, and that’s how Carib Eats was born.

Now, Carib Eats delivers food once a week across Hackney to those who would benefit from a meal and a chat.

What makes this project so important?

Carib Eats is more than a meal. It’s a chance for people to connect and feel they are truly part of the wider community and not defined by their needs.

It’s important that people can request home-cooked meals that they are used to eating, and to let the people we serve know they haven’t been forgotten. As the weeks go by we‘ve got to know people a little more, and during lockdown those isolating alone have especially looked forward to seeing us.

One of the residents we support was involved in London’s iconic Notting Hill Carnival for over 30 years. Unfortunately, due to ill health, he is no longer involved, but the volunteers have felt really privileged to listen to his experiences.

We want to use this opportunity to capture the rich stories of Hackney residents that we may not always hear.

Had you done anything like this before?

No! The funny thing is, I don’t even really like cooking! And I honestly had no idea that the project would grow the way it has. But I’ve been so humbled by the response. There’s something about home-cooked food, that people actually want to eat, that’s really needed here.

We’re connecting people, checking in on them, sometimes on people who are vulnerable.

Although we started during lockdown, I don’t see the need for our support going away any time soon. Covid has simply highlighted the issues that were there already.

A recently published report by the independent Social Metrics Commission found that “Some 4.5 million people, or 7% of all people in the UK, live in families that are more than 50% below the poverty line. This compares to 2.8 million people (5%) in 2000/01, meaning that deep poverty is an issue that has worsened over the last two decades… Adding to these concerning figures is the fact that, of those currently in deep poverty, 2.4 million are also in persistent poverty; meaning that they have also been in poverty for at least two of the last three years.”

What have been the challenges?

We’re currently self-funded, and that isn’t sustainable, so we’re planning to keep going on a month-by-month basis depending on the support we have.

We put up a Just Giving page really quickly, just to see if we could keep going. That was when we came up with a name for the project, and a description:

“Four friends (& a Hackney resident on a bike) all connected through Hackney come together every Thursday. The meals have a Caribbean twist with a nod to Jamaican cuisine. We cook, deliver & chat. We would like to continue to do so and in order to do this we need help.”

Honestly, I didn’t know what to expect. But the idea caught on. I think people were drawn to the simplicity and honesty of our set up – there’s no big organisation, no complicated structure.

I was busy with my phone switched off the day after the campaign went up, so it was my kids who messaged me to say “Have you seen what’s going on?”.

Within an hour, the donations were flooding in. That’s when I realised that this was a project that had a life of its own.

How has the team organised?

At first, I kept saying “I’m not the boss!”. But I’ve naturally found myself stepping into a leadership role – and I’ve started to acknowledge the skills I have around connecting and organising people. Somehow the fact that I’m doing it for the project, and not for myself, has enabled me to be bolder than maybe I would be otherwise.

As we begin to apply for funding, or I talk to people about helping us spread the word, I’m able to be more assertive because I’m doing it for Carib Eats. I believe in our mission and our team, and that’s pushing me forward. I don’t feel apologetic about asking for help.

Right from the start, we’ve all had some really frank conversations about what we’re good at. Everyone involved has had to be really honest about what we’re able and willing to do. Some of the earliest volunteers needed to pull back from the food side, which I completely understood. But they’re still involved – cheering me on and helping me stay motivated; making connections and sharing what we’re doing; or thinking up ideas for how it could evolve.

We’ve had interest from the Museum of London in documenting the project, thanks to a local contact – and I’m hoping to build the team more.

What’s next?

As the lockdown eases, we’re taking stock and looking to the future. The goal of Carib Eats is to continue to provide meals & connect people on a weekly basis. The challenges for many will not go away and we remain committed to supporting our community.

I’m fortunate. I have a job and a supportive network, so lockdown was easier for me than some. My own personal experience tells me that it is important to help where you can and to pass on kindness and support. We all need each other, especially when times are tough.

Want to help? Here’s how you can help support Ali and the team at Carib Eats

1. Give

You can donate to Carib Eats’ Just Giving page by clicking here.

2. Share

No worries if you can’t donate! You can also help by sharing and spreading the word. Find the team on Instagram and Facebook and give them a like, follow or share.

3. Step up

Carib Eats are currently looking for someone to help with building their website and managing social media. So if you, or someone you know, would be interested in joining the volunteer team, please get in touch at caribeatslondon@gmail.com.

Are you changing your corner of the world?

Ali’s one of many women making a difference in her corner of the world. A grassroots leader learning, growing, and connecting as she goes. We love to share stories from within our community to help spread the word about projects. Come over to our Facebook group and let us know if you’ve got a story to share!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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YOUR voices have been heard

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When I first discovered that the Parliamentary Women and Equalities Committee here in the UK was calling for evidence about the unequal impact of Covid19 on different groups of people (eg: women; Black and Minority Ethnic groups; people living with disabilities or long term illnesses; people undergoing gender reassignment; members of the LGBTQ community) I knew our community would have a lot to say.

And you did.

We heard from women from all walks of life, across the UK – and beyond.

Telling our shared story: One of many ways we give back

In just six short days, with characteristic generosity, you shared your experiences of the pandemic; your observations on the Government’s response and your recommendations for future action.

You shared your fears, your anger, your frustrations, your hopes and your dreams.

We read and listened to every word of every submission we received.

Your words and your experiences, combined with our own research into the unique position of women in the midst of this crisis, formed One of many’s first ever submission to a Parliamentary inquiry.

This marks a milestone for us as a community. Not only are we supporting each other to learn, grow, and make a difference in the world. We’re using our collective voices to guide our political leaders to the change we want to see – and I am so grateful to everyone who contributed.

The final 33 page submission, including all of our recommendations can be read by clicking here.

I warn you now you may need a tissue. I cried when I first read it. I still do.

The power of our collective voice

Our submission doesn’t just represent the voices of the women who responded with their experiences and their recommendations. It is a vivid portrayal of the lived experiences of thousands of women across the UK.

And your voices have been heard.

Last week the chair of the Committee Caroline Nokes MP announced that they had been overwhelmed with responses to their inquiry. She spoke in particular about the impact on women:

“Evidence shows that the economic impact has been experienced differentially by women – and in many respects, more severely”.

Caroline Nokes, Chair, Women and Equalities Committee

As a result of the evidence they received, Caroline Nokes announced that the Committee would be conducting three additional “sub inquiries” looking at:

– Coronavirus and BAME (Black And Minority Ethnic groups) people
– Coronavirus, disability and access to services; and
– Coronavirus and the economic impact on women.

You can find out more about these inquiries here.

Raising each other up

At the end of April, at the peak of the Covid-19 pandemic in the UK, I asked each of you to imagine the voices of thousands of women speaking up and making a difference, and to join me in making that dream a reality.

I know that the past few months have been incredibly challenging for every one of us. We’ve all had to face unprecedented uncertainty in every area of our lives. Even before this global pandemic, time was our most precious resource.

So I am so moved, and so grateful, to each and every one of you who heeded that call.

And of course, the Covid-19 situation continues to evolve. It’s not the only shift the world is undergoing. New movements for change are springing up, some of them led by women in our community. Maybe led by you. The global uprisings for social justice are making their voices heard.

We’re all making daily decisions, small and big, about how each of us can look after our needs, be a stand for our values, and continue to support those around us. And I know we can continue to support each other through the BeOne community. Because we’re stronger together.

What’s next, now your voices have been heard?

No-one knows what’s coming, of course. If recent weeks have taught us anything, it’s that change is the only constant.

But I can tell you this.

We will continue to raise up your voices. Here in the UK, we will continue to call for a response from Government that reflects your experience during this pandemic. And we will continue to do whatever we can to lead the change.

If you want to join us in informing this important inquiry, you can still make your voice heard by making an individual submission to one or all of the sub inquiries.

You can be the change you want to see.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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One of many women actively standing against racism

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“As part of my commitment to get uncomfortable in the fight against racism, I want to start right here.”

These were the words I typed into our community Facebook group this week, knowing that what I was about to write would fail. That in opening this conversation I would inevitably make ignorant, inexcusable mistakes.

But I’m serious in this commitment: I really want to know how to become anti-racist. And, even though I know I’ll get it wrong, my feelings aren’t what’s important here. It’s time to get uncomfortable and open up this discussion – so that we can make our community a truly diverse one.

The power of community – and the conversation we’re missing

Our Facebook group contains almost seven thousand women. And as we train, connect and inspire sisters around the globe I’m endlessly inspired by what we can achieve when women come together. With the impact so many of our grassroots leaders are having in their communities, organisations and families.

But the elephant in our room is race. And white privilege.

We talk about change a lot here at One of many. But we hardly ever talk about race.

And it’s not hard to know why.

Because it’s damn uncomfortable.

We have a huge community of women from many walks of life and from many ethnic backgrounds.

We also have a strong commitment to solidarity.

And yet, for so many white women, our privilege is such a tender, painful and awkward topic to address that we hardly know where to begin. It’s far easier just to stay silent.

Meaning that those who are left to think, talk and take action when it comes to discrimination and oppression, are all too often the women are the victims of it.

While those of us who benefit from that inequality – not by choice, but by the societies in which we live – are the ones who have the luxury of choosing to switch off from it.

Because it’s “too much”.

Can you see how messed up that is?

Soft Power and the fight for justice

Here at One of many we’re guided by the 5 women’s PowerTypes. The archetypes who can help us embrace and learn from even the hardest challenges.

Mother who can listen and love unconditionally… seeking to understand.

Warrioress who can fight for injustice and harness her anger as a rallying cry.

Queen who can see the horizon beyond it all and will do what’s right even if it’s unpopular.

Lover who can take care of herself in the face of it all.

And Sorceress who can work with faith in Source, life, the universe… that knows we are all interconnected.

So what can we do?

With that in mind… and from that place of Soft Power I want to explore racism. And white privilege.

In the past I had thought myself an ally, but the more I hear in recent days the less I feel that I do enough. I have started. I have conversations. I take some action. We’re actively working to make our coaching team and our office staff more diverse, for instance.

But it’s not enough.

Personally, I am becoming vividly aware that I don’t do enough. I don’t do enough to stop racism and bigotry in my wider family. I don’t do enough in our community of caring women where we could really learn and change things. It’s really, really hard for me to admit that. It feels really horrible.

But it’s not about my feelings, as a white woman. And these are things I intend to change.

If you are a white woman: listen, and take action.

Many women have shared some excellent resources in the community over the past days. If you haven’t already, read the posts, absorb the discussions, and be ready to approach our collective unlearning with humility.

And remember this, as we move forward: We won’t get this right.

None of us is perfect. We all are capable of deep care, love and understanding. And all of us capable of grief, anger and fury.

Racism cannot end with conversation alone.

But it must start here…

If you have have experienced racism and racial oppression – you don’t owe us anything.

I am immensely grateful to every one of you who stepped in to express your anger, heartbreak and frustration in our conversations this week. For your patience in educating those of us who are just starting out on this journey. I learned a lot, and I know I’m not alone. We owe you our respect, our attention, and our apologies. And I am sorry for the inevitable harm we will cause as we learn to do better.

Please, take care of yourselves, stay resourced, and step away from discussions when you need to preserve your energy.

Ultimately, this isn’t about me. There are courageous leaders in the anti-racism movement who have been fighting this fight for decades.

The last thing that movement needs is a white woman like me putting herself at the centre.

So I want to end this article with the words of just one of the women who showed up as leaders in our own community this week. 

“You can choose to lead either by your active work to dismantle the paradigm or your complicit upholding of it. I would love you to lead with courage and vulnerability and the very possibility that you might do it wrong, that people might call you out, that you may have to feel emotions and reactions that you don’t want to feel. 

Do this and it will embolden other white women in positions of power to do the same and perhaps even white men. This is your time to lead with full awareness as a woman with power and privilege.  

Lead inclusively, learn, grow and don’t expect black women and people of colour to take on the burden of teaching, increasing your awareness and educating you for free. We and our ancestors have done enough free emotional and physical labour.  

We can truly walk together when you show through your actions that you are really committed to change, when you have demonstrated that we are safe and valued as equals in your presence. Beyond tokenism and platitudes. There has been enough of that already particularly in the field of personal development. “ –Monica Douglas

I encourage you to go over to the BeOne group and read through the conversation happening there in response to my post – paying particular attention to the voices of the women who responded so passionately from their own lived experience. Let their words inform and inspire your action.

We all have our spheres of influence. It’s time for all of us to do as much as we can.

More than a social media post; more than reading a book.

My deep hope is that by using the principles of Soft Power, we can create the change the world needs to build a world that’s truly equal for all of us.

How can you be part of that change today?

Here are some resources to help get you started.

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Emerging Leadership: How to support the NHS without burning out

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Burnout effects those in the caring professions more than any other. Is it possible for doctors, nurses and healthcare workers to support the NHS without burning out? And what lessons might they have for all of us juggling the competing demands of roles we’re passionate about, in high-pressured environments?

During this time of unprecedented change, we’ve been humbled and inspired to see how graduates of the One of many programs are applying the tools they’ve gained. That’s why we’re sharing some truly inspiring interviews with women leaders. Their leadership is helping steer their families, teams and communities towards an emerging future that brings us great hope.

These empowered women are living demonstrations of the opportunity we have to step up and define what comes next. We may be living through lockdown. But though the current crisis brings great challenges, it is also a time ripe with opportunity. In other words, it offers us a choice: To let go of what no longer serves us. To embrace new ways of looking at the world. And to fight for what really matters.

And we hope they inspire you too…

How a nurse has been able to support the NHS during the COVID-19 crisis without burning out

Today, we’re delighted to introduce Anne Jeffrey, a nurse and coach. Since discovering One of many and qualifying as a coach, Anne has finally been able to have the powerful impact on the world she’d been craving throughout her career.

In this conversation, Anne’s shares her journey to the empowered leadership that’s allowed her to respond to the current crisis in a way that not only supports her, but allows her colleagues and the patients they care for to thrive.

Click the image below to watch.

How a nurse was able to support the NHS without burning out

Sharing our stories as women leaders is a powerful way to inspire, connect and motivate each other.

Let us know if Anne’s story resonates with you in the comments…

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Emerging Leadership: Starting a business during quarantine

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During this time of unprecedented change, we’ve been humbled and inspired to see how graduates of the One of Many programs are applying their tools to navigate the difficulties we’re all facing.  So, over the next week or so, we’ll be sharing some truly inspiring interviews with women whose leadership is helping steer their families, teams and communities towards an emerging future that brings us great hope. 

These empowered women are living demonstrations of the opportunity we have to step up and define what comes next. We may be living through lockdown, but even as the current crisis brings great challenges it is also a time ripe with opportunity. To let go of what no longer serves us, to embrace new ways of looking at the world, and to fight for what really matters.

And we hope they inspire you too…

Today, we’d like to introduce you to Wendy McCristal, Founder of The Mental Wealth Company. A graduate of Lead the Change, Wendy has transitioned from working in the rail industry, burning out, and crafting a career that works for her and her clients powerfully.   She’s a great role model of compassion and prioritisation.

Please let us know in the comments what lessons you hear in Wendy’s story…

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One of many voices with Dr Joanna Martin: Rod Cartwright

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In times of crisis, leadership and communication go hand in hand. Which is why I’m so thrilled to introduce you to someone with a wealth of expertise in both. Meet our guest panellist at our March, 2020 “Clarity in Chaos” livestream conference – Rod Cartwright.

Rod is a senior independent advisor specialising in issues management, crisis communication, leadership communication and corporate reputation. Over the past 25 years, he has held leadership positions at global agencies Text100, Ketchum, H&K and GCI.

His sharp-end crisis experience includes advising the CEO, Chair and Board of Malaysia Airlines following the tragic disappearance of Flight MH370 and on the subsequent restructuring of the airline.

Leadership and Communication in Times of Crisis

Rod’s recently been hosting a series of webinars on the key crisis communication principles and crisis preparedness best practices for COVID-19 – for the Institute of Leadership & Management, the European Association of Communication Directors and the Public Relations and Communications Association, among others.

So we were truly honoured when Rod was able to step in and join our panel for the conference. Especially as we have been quoting his research for more than 5 years. (One of those “Meant to be moments” that we are proud to share with you now!).

I think you’ll find Rod’s insights valuable when it comes to your own leadership – and I’d love to know your biggest takeaways from the session.

 

Follow Rod Cartwright

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Do you need more coffee, or…?

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What do you actually need? Is it more coffee, or something else? It might sound like a strange question, but many of us aren’t great at identifying our needs, day-to-day. For example, we get to the end of the day and find ourselves knackered. That’s it, we think.

"I need more coffee!"

But far too often, we're really only treating the symptom, not the cause.

And if you’ve ever lain awake at night regretting that 6pm caffeine boost, you’ll know it can have unintended side effects.

In this video I explain a bit more about how this works.

Do you need more coffee, or...?

Needs aren’t always about physical things, like sleep or hydration. Many of us have a basic need for seclusion or alone time -- time for us to gather our thoughts.

You might find you’re not OK unless you’ve been able to get out and get some fresh air, every day, or had a warm hug from someone.

So why don’t we meet our own basic needs?

It’s also true that many of us find it surprisingly hard to know what our needs are. That’s often because we’ve spent much of our life operating it what we lovingly refer to round here as ‘Superwoman’ mode.

Superwoman is 100% motivated by wanting to please others and win approval.

So, when we’ve been in Superwoman mode for a long time, it can really feel impossible to know what it is we really want. Because she’s that part of us that wants to achieve the most, get the most praise, and do the most -- at the expense of her own wellbeing.

Superwoman would far rather neck a double-shot latte if it meant she could deliver a project on time, than set boundaries with a client over what she could and couldn’t deliver.

She'd definitely prioritise baking the "perfect" cake for the school fair than having the sleep her body desperately needs.

Get the picture?

How can you begin to understand your needs?

Getting to know the you that isn't Superwoman can take a bit of effort. We explore some tools to help you find out what your needs are – and, crucially, to begin to implement them effectively in your daily life – as part of our BeFruitful program.

If you've ever tried other "productivity" or "time management" training you'll know how radically different this already sounds. We use an approach you won't find anywhere else – designed by women, for women – to help you use your time and energy to optimal effect.

Click here to find out more

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

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7 tiny ways to stop feeling tired all the time

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As an in-house coach one of the most common challenges I see in my clients is a lack of energy. Most are combining multiple priorities: building a business whilst still in corporate life, raising a family, taking care of elderly parents, and doing their best to try and outrun that pesky inner critic. Is it any wonder so many of us feel as though we’re tired all the time?

I frequently ask, “When did you last stop or do something just for yourself? When did you last do anything to replenish?”

And the answer is always met with silence and then an embarrassed whisper of, “I can’t remember…”

Tired all the time… Does this sound familiar?

I’m just as guilty.

It seems our number one soft power principle of replenish, replenish, replenish is one of the hardest to allow.

What the bloody hell is that all about?

Well, I suppose I could write about all the challenges and excuses we make that stop us from being kind to ourselves, but quite frankly I’m too tired!

So instead I thought I’d share with you the fundamental principle to follow when you’re tired all the time.

“Just stop it!”

I’m kidding of course – kind of. Have you ever seen the comedy sketch with Bob Newhart – he plays a therapist imparting words of wisdom. It’s hilarious – and there’s more than a grain of truth in it.

Of course, yelling “stop it!” at ourselves when we know we’re already on the edge of burnout isn’t actually a very helpful approach. The thought of taking a whole day off, a week’s holiday, or even an entire lunch break can be enough to send us into a spiral of panic.

The secret to getting your energy back

So instead of exhausting yourself further, with radical lifestyle changes that will take even more energy to organise and implement, why not try a different approach?

When we’re running on empty and everything seems like a mountain to climb, sometimes the only way forward is with small acts of kindness everyday that will take you from overwhelmed and burning out to energised and vital.

Don’t know where to start? Try one of these tiny micro-acts of kindness.

7 tiny ways to stop feeling tired all the time

  1. Drink enough water. Fill up a glass and keep it on your desk – don’t forget to sip it throughout the day.
  2. Morning pages – the daily journaling practice that helps you offload, reflect and connect to yourself.
  3. Good quality sleep. If your worries are keeping you up at night, research some ways to help yourself get fully rested.
  4. Walking in nature, even if it’s just a brisk 20 minutes through the park on your way to work.
  5. Mindful breathing. There are lots of videos and apps that can help you find a 5 minute way to connect to your breath.
  6. Learning who and what you need to say no to. Setting boundaries is a powerful act of kindness to yourself.
  7. A good film or drama where you can just switch off. I’m very late to the party as I’ve only just discovered Call The Midwife – 50 minutes of loveliness and feel-good stories and I’m restored!

Where to begin

You might be thinking that one of those tiny actions would be the perfect place to start – but you might also have some better ideas of your own.

Give yourself permission to take a moment for yourself and your first act of kindness – go watch Bob Newhart, have a good giggle and then get a pen and paper.

Draw a line down the centre and in the left hand column brainstorm all the small acts you can do for yourself that will leave you feeling replenished.

Then, in the right hand column write down the boundaries you need to put in place so you’re able to take those baby steps back to life.

As you start to take care of yourself in tiny ways every day, you’ll find the balance gradually shifts. With more energy you’re better able to set boundaries, and so the cycle continues.

Share the kindness

If you know you could be a bit kinder to yourself, let’s help spread that commitment. Share ONE tiny act of kindness in the comments below, and let’s inspire each other to take that first baby step.

About Kat