One of Many

Woman looking to create change

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Stress: 6 warning signs that something’s got to change

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I remember getting off the phone from a client. She’d had ME in the past. You know – that thing that most doctors don’t understand. That thing where they tell you “Just slow down”.

But she’s a small business owner. And she wants to be a successful one at that.

She told me “I’m exhausted and I don’t know how long I can keep doing this.”

I thought “You and about 1 billion other women.” (I didn’t say that out loud – I just thought it, truly!)

Seriously though – I look around me and I see many, many headless chickens.

All it would take is one nasty cold, or an unexpected bill, or a nasty fight with a lover and the whole tired house of cards could tumble. We’ve seen it in recent months. Add a global pandemic to an already-burnt out woman, and the impact is amplified.

I see too many women skating on very thin ice where their mental, emotional and physical wellbeing is concerned.

And that is 3 VERY overused metaphors in as many sentences. Which tells me that this is a state that is far too common!

So I decided, being a good doctor, to put together some signs and symptoms to look out for.

Let’s keep that headless chicken out of the house of cards on the thin ice, huh?

1. You find it hard to stop.

You know – you’ve finished your day’s work, and whoops – opened your email for one last look on the phone after dinner. Or you’re out on a date. Your date goes to the toilet, and you pick up the phone to check Facebook. Maybe you’re renewing your car insurance while watching Netflix, or talking on the phone while tidying the kitchen. When was the last time you did just ONE thing at a time. Or even… sat and did some nothing for a few minutes?

 2. You’re a grouch more than you’d like.

It might be snarky comments to your spouse or kids. Or bitchy comments about work colleagues. Or perhaps you’ve been saving everyone the trouble and avoiding company because you don’t want to inflict yourself on others. However you slice it, you’re not proud of the way you’ve been lately.

 3. You’re harsh on yourself

Have you been down on yourself a bit of late? Maybe it’s saying things like “I’m lazy, I just need a good kick up the bum.” Or telling yourself that it’s your own fault you’re overwhelmed – if you were more confident, you wouldn’t be in this place. Maybe it’s obsessing about your muffin top, greys or stray facial hair. But your self esteem is taking a battering.

4. You find it hard to find time for you

You know that pop culture says you should have more “me time”. But your time ends up binge watching Netflix, scrolling Instagram, or something equally escapist. Any time you do give yourself is numbing you, not replenishing you.

5. Your body hurts

Maybe it’s something specific – a cold you can’t shake. Maybe it’s sore legs, back, headaches. Maybe it’s as simple as when you open your mouth really wide you can tell how tight your jaw muscles are from unconscious tension.

 6. Sleep is tougher than it should be.

Maybe its’ difficulty getting off. Maybe you wake up at 2am with your mind racing. Maybe you sleep like a log but can never get enough. High levels of stress hormones impact the body’s sleep in different ways.

Which signs are you showing?

All of us have some level of stress in our lives. That’s not always a bad thing! It keeps us engaged, interested, allows us to solve problems and forces us to prioritise.

But stress can become really detrimental to our health and wellbeing. This is of course not an exhaustive list, but when I’ve seen clients with 3 or more of these signs and symptoms, I know that they are operating at an unsustainable level of stress.

In my experience, it is only a matter of time until something gives. It might be health, it might be work, it might be the relationship. But we’re simply not built to keep going and going and going without reprieve.

Want support to beat stress – sustainably?

At One of many, we’re dedicated to creating safe spaces for women to share what’s really going on for them and find the support of an extraordinary community.

So I want to acknowledge and honor you, right now, because whether you found us 5 years or 5 minutes ago, you’re a part of what makes the fabric of this community.

You are a part of what makes this a safe space for us to admit things aren’t OK – and get the support we need.

Want more support – along with practical ways to create change?

If you need someone in your corner, if you want to lay down the burden, if you want a place where it’s normal to feel things, it’s normal to have challenges, and it doesn’t make you broken or wrong or helpless… I invite you to come and join us in Living the Change.

You’ll get access to all the tools and resources in our membership site, plus The Hearth, our private online coaching space space. Our in-house coaches are there to answer your questions and provide support whenever you need it.

This isn’t about whining or blaming or being victims. It’s a place to find an empowered sharing of what’s truly going on and practical tools and strategies to help you to create the life you want – to get the results you want to get.

Click here to find out more.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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How to shift your energy

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How often has this happened to you? You’re in your successful woman, save-the-world, I-can-do-it-all mode at work. And when you come home, with no chance to shift your energy, you end up running your dinner and evening like it’s another quarterly meeting.

No sooner has your partner shared a frustration with their day than you’ve plotted a strategy, identified the key metrics and asked them to “circle back if they have questions”.

Or coming at it from the other direction… you’ve been really present and relaxed throughout a holiday or a weekend. You go back to work and you just can’t get your brain in gear – or summon up the motivation to even open, let alone look at a spreadsheet.

Sound familiar?

A vital life requires polarity

I’m a huge advocate of feminine energy. At One of many we believe it’s something that’s been missing from leadership for far to long! But I also recognize that there’s a time when we need to step into our masculine energy. Find our focus, our ambition, and our active capacity to move towards our vision.

Where things go wrong is when we spend too much time in one energy, or we carry over one type of energy into a setting where we really need the other one.

That’s when you get the Mum who runs her dinners like an Army exercise. Or the wife who’s irritated with her husband for being passive (without realizing that she’s already taken charge of everything in their relationship!)

Many of us have experienced the gradual blurring of boundaries lately. It’s easy to see a work email pop up on your phone, for example, or for your kids to interrupt your work if you’re at home.

So understanding how to manage your different modes is a critical skill for all of us.

The way to shift your energy

The key to being able to shift your energy to match the context you’re in is using something called a “bridging ritual”.

As the name suggests, these mini-rituals form a bridge between an activity requiring one activity and another.

Bridging rituals are short, tangible things that you do to signal to yourself that it’s time to shift your energy from one mode to another.

By using them, you can make sure that you’re in the energy that will let you be the most fruitful in any given situation. Whether that’s very masculine, very feminine, or somewhere in between.

And this isn’t some sort of woo-woo, spiritually-inclined thing! Studies done on corporate female leaders found that those who do the best have a very solid process in place to manage their energy and those areas of their life that draw on that energy.

You can use them to switch energies in the same context, too.

Maybe you want to introduce a ritual that gently winds down from playing and connecting with your kids, to bedtime. Or to switch from answering emails or making calls, to deep, focused work.

Take a note from those who already practice this!

Unlike those of us with a more universal awareness, some people naturally tend to think in boxes. When they’re in the work box, they’re thinking about work; when they’re in the family box, they’re thinking about family; and so on.

Who do you know who seem to be really present with what they’re doing?

This means that they also tend to be a little better at shifting their energy to match their setting, often by naturally gravitating to certain rituals without even really realizing what they’re doing. In my experience, it’s men who seem to demonstrate this skill most.

For instance, my husband Greg’s ritual to transition from “home” into “work” involves playing with our son in his office for a while, then pouring himself a glass of water, putting it down on the desk, and opening his computer.

So look at someone in your life who does this and ask yourself what you can learn from them and what kind of rituals you can borrow from them.

Try this

There’s no right or wrong type of bridging ritual — you just need to find what works best for you! What I will say is:

  1. It needs to have a distinct end and beginning.
  2. It needs to involve something physical so that your mind really gets the message.
  3. It needs to be something that you can reasonably do every day.

And it may take some experimentation to get yours right! For one of my clients who wanted to transition out of her Superwoman archetype and into her Lover and Queen archetypes, it was taking a bath every day as soon as she got home from work.

For me, it’s lighting a different candle when I transition into different modes.

For you, it might be taking a 5 minute walk before you go to work, or listening to a certain song to shift yourself from Mother energy to Lover energy before you go on a date.

So think about what energetic shifts you need to go through during your day, and what rituals you can create around them. Remember, it’s all about making lots of tiny changes that add up to change the trajectory of your life!

I’m curious … do you use rituals to transition through your day? Or if you don’t yet, what kind of ritual could you start to use? Tell me about it in the comments below!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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A surprising way to boost your leadership

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Sometimes the things which have the biggest impact on your world are the ones you least expect. That’s certainly what I discovered when I stumbled on a surprising way to boost your leadership. It’s something you might be inclined to dismiss as “frivolous” or “unnecessary” but for me, quite the opposite was true. So read on with an open mind!

A couple of years back, our family needed to move house unexpectedly. With two small kids and a business we run from our home, the upheaval was pretty intense. After the move, I found I really wanted to focus on replenishing my energy, making sure our community and clients weren’t impacted by what was going on, and spending lots of time with my family to make sure we were all settled in.

Decorating, arranging the house, sorting out furniture… all of that went way down on the list. I was happy with that, and if you’d asked me I definitely wouldn’t have said it was a problem.

Choosing dining room furniture, prettifying the bedroom?

I had bigger priorities.

Or so I thought…

Do you prioritise beauty?

Now you might not be starting from scratch with an entire house. But I bet there’s an area of your environment – a corner of your living room, your desk, the kitchen – that’s on that “must get round to it at some point” list.

It might function perfectly well – but it’s not beautiful.

That element of beauty is something we almost never think of as part of being a leader. Let alone think of it as a way you might be able to actively boost your leadership.

And yet, to my surprise, my experience proved different.

You see, after a period of time, it started to dawn on me that I was really finding it hard to continue to replenish my energy in a meaningful way. Knowing the possibility that I saw for the spaces in our home, and seeing them not being done was a constant loop running in my mind.

Every time I would walk from my bedroom down the stairs, through the house, to the kitchen and up to the office each day, I’d be walking past places where I had ideas, or I wondered what we could do to make it more beautiful.

It was just adding up as a stress.

And it turns out – science backs me up.

The science behind beauty

You might have heard that having beautiful things around us is supportive to our wellbeing, but it might interest you to know that there’s quite a bit of research to back this up. An interesting study back in 1984 looked at the medical records of people recovering from gallbladder surgery. They discovered that, all things being equal, patients that had bedside windows looking out onto leafy trees healed on average a day faster, needed significantly less pain medication and had fewer post-surgical complications compared to patients who had a view looking out onto a brick wall.

Since then, further research has shown that just three to five minutes spent looking at views dominated by trees, flowers, or water can begin to reduce anger, anxiety, and pain to induce relaxation in healthy people. And can even cause physiological changes on our blood pressure, muscle tension, heart and brain electricity.

Nature is so powerful that even pictures of landscapes can soothe!

And I think it even can go beyond that. There’s some interesting research done on behalf of the commission for architecture and the built environment here in the UK. The research demonstrates that beauty produces a positive, emotional experience in the observer, which enhances feelings of happiness and wellbeing.

Some of us are more or less sensitive to our environments than others. But for many of us, every time we walk through a space which is chaotic, that doesn’t look the way we’d like it to look, or that’s less than beautiful, it contributes to a sense of stress and lack of wellbeing.

Is it frivolous to focus on beauty?

Despite this evidence of its impact, beauty is one of those things that lots of us secretly judge as being a bit frivolous, perhaps a waste of time, a waste of money.

I know in my own experience it’s something which often falls to the bottom of the list. I’d be far more likely to invest in coaching or training than in the space I live and work in.

And yet I know that lack of beauty does stress and impact me.

So, one of the things I committed to doing,was just picking off a room at a time.

One of the things that I noticed, was that simply by opening up to the idea of making a space beautiful, I started to activate a part of me that I hadn’t paid much attention to: I began to feel into what I liked and what I didn’t like

“Yes, I like that”

“No, I don’t like that.”

Because, having had to ignore mess and having to ignore chaos for a period of time, I’d really had to numb myself out to what I did and didn’t like.

Can you relate? When you “tune out” from your own discomfort, it actually takes a while to get used to making choices again!

For me, that muscle of “Yes this… No that” had got a little bit blunted. So going through this process, just by picking off one room at a time, began to open up my own awareness of what I do and don’t like to be around, visually.

And I think for me, the bottom line of what I’ve loved about the process is that it has invoked and reactivated my Lover PowerType.

The Lover PowerType and how it can boost your leadership

The Lover s one of our 5 Women’s PowerTypes. These archetypes are role models of feminine leadership, that each contain qualities we can bring to different situations.

Lover is the part of us that is connected to bringing ambience and beauty and pleasure into our spaces.

She’s also the part of us that is the source of our own creativity.

She is the center of our own self care. She is the center of our sensuality and our sexuality.

And I’ve got to say spending some time with her has enhanced all of those other areas of my life: my creativity, my own sense of wellbeing and my relationship too!

As a leader, Lover is powerful and magnetic. Others are drawn to her presence; she makes everyone around her feel great.

Far from being selfish, when you can bring more Lover to boost your leadership you’ll find you’re able to create powerful connections and achieve new results.

By taking exquisite care of yourself, you open up the potential to create and connect on new levels with those around you, too.

If you’d like to discover your unique Women’s PowerTypes profile, you can do so for free with a ticket to the One Woman Conference happening 12-13 June 2021. Click here to find out more and book your ticket.

How connected are you to Lover?

Many, many of us women find the Lover challenging to connect to.

Here are two things you can do right away to begin to nurture this connection.

#1 Look at your relationship to beauty.

Is it like mine was for a time – a little bit closed down, or even something you don’t really even notice? And it’s just not important or interesting to you?

Is it something which you’re aware of, but you’re frustrated by because you feel for time or money reasons, you’re not able to do anything about it.

Is it something that’s really important to you?

Reflect on it for yourself. What, how do you relate to beauty? Perhaps you’d like to journal on it over the next couple of days.

#2 Consider the space around you.

It might be your home environment and your office space. It might be even in your car, your garden, anywhere you spend a significant amount of time.

How beautiful does it feel to you?

If like me, you look at it and it’s overwhelmingly not beautiful, then, you might want to consider doing something about it.

I’m not suggesting for a second that this has to be something that takes over your life and your budget!

But what I’ve been very pleasantly surprised by is those hidden places that you may or may not know about to bring beauty into a space. Finding hidden gems in secondhand shops, or passed on by friends or family. Maybe something you already use in one part of your home would work brilliantly in your office. Frame some kids drawings, find some plants to brighten your space, get creative yourself.

Be on the lookout for beauty.

And you might find it makes a surprising difference to your wellbeing and your leadership.

How about you?

Where do you find beauty in your life – and is it something you value? Have you ever looked down on creating beautiful spaces as being “frivolous” or “a waste of money” – or are you already conscious of the impact your external environment has on you?

I’d really love to know your thoughts on this – be sure to leave a comment and let me know!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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How to get past a big challenge

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If you’ve ever decided to make a significant change in your life, you’ve experienced it. The sudden, seemingly random challenges that crop up about three months in. What happens when life stops you in your tracks? Here’s one way I’ve found to get past a big challenge.

I’ve seen it happen over and over again both in my own life and in the stories you in the One of many community share. And I’ve come to believe that, while these challenges may seem random, they’re actually part of a universal pattern.

The journeys of women creating change so often follow 3 steps:

  1. Resolution to change. Finally, you see the difference you are called to make!
  2. Beginner’s luck. All goes well, connections are made, progress begins and then…
  3. Challenge. Argh!

One of the best descriptions I’ve ever seen of this pattern is in the great book The Alchemist, by Paulo Coelho. In it, there’s a young shepherd boy, Santiago, who has a dream that he’ll find a buried treasure beneath the pyramids of Egypt.

He realises that the purpose of his life is to find this treasure, so he sets off, and as luck would have it, he’s able to sell his flock in the very next town for a good price. Everything’s working out great for him!

From there, he takes a ship to Tangiers, where a thief steals all of his money, leaving him stuck.

He ends up having to take a job with a crystal merchant to try to make back his money.

One of the reasons I think this story has resonated with millions around the world is that we sense the truth of its message.

The challenge is actually a sign that you’re on the right path.

While you hopefully won’t experience challenges in the form of getting all your money stolen, if you’re making a big change, you can expect a challenge to come along just about the time you’re starting to build up momentum.

This is actually a good thing.

I call it the universe testing your resolve.

It might not always feel like testing; in fact, it often just feels like real life is causing serious, legitimate problems and you just can’t do what you were going to do.

Of course, there is no denying the reality of what’s happening. But there’s another way of looking at them that can help you approach the challenge you’re facing in a different way.

What if you looked at your challenge as the universe asking for a sign of your commitment to your goals?

How would that shift your approach?

So how do you get past a big challenge?

Here’s where things get a bit tricky. When we need to get past a big challenge many of us instinctively take one of two options:

  1. Push on. Grit our teeth and bash our way forwards, no matter the toll it takes on our wellbeing or our loved ones
  2. Give up. Take the challenge as a sign that actually, it’s not time to pursue this change.

What if there was another way?

In my experience, when obstacles come your way, you need to find harmony.

Not doggedly active, nor resignedly passive.

A balance between opposites and a flow where you’re alternating between those different kinds of energy.

This might happen as a weekly cycle, or even a daily cycle, but the key is not to get stuck in either state.

So let’s look at how this plays out in a four step strategy.

Step one: reconnect with the vision.

As soon as one of those challenges comes up, you need to find some time for yourself. Anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour of quiet, uninterrupted time will do.

In this time you’ve created for yourself, get reconnected with your original vision. Think about the intention and get really clear about what it is. Do you want to make time to be a fantastic mother? Do you want to have a sense of energy and vitality every day? What does your big picture vision feel like, smell like, taste like … really engage with it in your feminine energy.

Step two: list out the obstacles.

Now write down all of the obstacles that are making it hard to act on that vision right now. And remember, you’ll often get challenges crossing over from different areas of your life. You can have an intention around your work life get derailed by your home life; you can have an intention for your physical self get derailed by an emotional challenge — you see how it works.

Optional interlude

Before you move on to step three, if you’re feeling tired you really need to replenish your energy. You can’t really wholly connect with your body if you’re at the end of your tether, so pause the process and take a bath, go for a walk, put on some music and dance, or take a nap if you need to. Do whatever you need to do to be able to get into your body.

Step three: Relax

When you’re replenished and ready, take a moment to let go, get very present and relax down into your whole body, because that’s what’s going to help you get the answers you need for the next step.

Step four: consider the obstacles and listen to your body.

All right. You’ve written out your obstacles and you’re really centred into your body. Now, from a place of deep listening, look at each of the obstacles. Feel into your body and ask your body, “Is it time to persist on my vision in relationship to this obstacle or is it time for me to yield? Should I be harnessing my masculine energy to push through this, or should I be yielding into it?”

It might sound strange. What do I mean “listen to your body?”.

The key is – you’re not trying to think your way through this challenge. You’re not writing a list of pros and cons, you’re not strategising, you’re simply feeling.

Try it and see what happens. The answers might surprise you!

Sometimes your body will say, “You’ve got enough energy right now to push through! Okay, you didn’t sleep great last night, but right now would be a fantastic time to call up that client! I say go!”

And other times, your body might say “You should not get on the phone to the client. You’re gonna kill the deal. Go and have a sleep.”

So go through all of your obstacles separately, and by the end you’ll have your next steps for how to deal with each of them, whether that’s to move forward or to yield. Then commit to taking each of those steps to your coach, to the One of many community, or to another source of accountability in your life.

It’s a simple process … but extremely powerful.

Do you need to get past a big challenge?

Have a go — and let me know how it works out in the comments!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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How to develop a healthy relationship with anger

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Today I want to talk about something that’s often an awkward topic for us women — anger. I know. Just bringing it up can feel uncomfortable. After all, who wants to think about being angry? Much less think about how to develop a healthy relationship with anger!

But it’s such a hugely important topic. Not just for our psychological wellbeing, but also for our physical wellbeing. I’ve read some studies that suggest having a healthy relationship with anger can lower your risk of certain cancers, high blood pressure, heart disease and poor immunity!

The problem with anger

A lot of women that I talk to feel their anger is a problem. After all, we’re raised with the idea that “nice girls don’t get angry”. Or think we should sit quietly and speak when we’re spoken to. Very few of us are taught how to express our anger in a positive way.

But anger in and of itself isn’t the problem.

It’s actually a great thing, because it acts as an inbuilt warning system. Anger tells you when:

  • Something or someone’s crossed a boundary
  • Something’s infringed on your values
  • Something threatens your safety

And despite what you might think, it’s not something that you can control.

Fight or flight

See, anger is largely a physiological response. As humans, when there’s danger, we have a deep seated, programmed fight or flight response. It’s very primal; it’s controlled by the amygdala, which is the reptilian part of the brain which warns the rest of the nervous system when we’re threatened.

When this happens, the nervous system releases neurotransmitters that flood the entire body. Before we’re even consciously aware of any danger, we’re in the middle of this flood of hormones that’s giving us a huge boost of energy and actually altering our consciousness.

Same system, different response

Everyone’s got the same physical system associated with anger, but the way we respond can be really different, depending on lots of factors. A few include your gender, the power dynamic you’re in (are you the boss? an unhappy customer?), and even how recently you’ve eaten!

Culture has a huge impact on how we deal with anger — men tend to have an easier time expressing their anger, since it’s more culturally accepted for them to be aggressive.

So while men tend to focus their anger outwards, women often focus it internally.

Sometimes we find ourselves “blowing up” on people who are nonthreatening, like children or a spouse, instead of getting clear on what the primary source of our anger is.

And while some men can get angry, express it, and then forget about it, women tend to feel ashamed, guilty, and resentful that they even had the angry outburst in the first place!

There are also a lot of physical factors that can make you more prone to anger. If your testosterone levels are higher than normal, if your blood sugar is off, if you’ve got low serotonin, if you’re going through menopause, or if you’re right before your period then you’ll be naturally be more irritable and likely to flare up.

Finally, and this is really important to realize: You can still be impacted in the present by times that you were angry in the past and weren’t able to express that properly.

(It’s also easy to “inherit” anger if you grew up in an atmosphere where there was a lot of anger or abuse, or if you were taught unhealthy ways to deal with your anger.)

A good way to recognize when you’re being triggered by something in the past is to look at how proportionate your response is to an event. If you’re having a really disproportionate response to an event — like if you fly into a rage when you’re emptying the dishwasher and you break a cup — it’s a good bet that it’s not about the cup.

Developing a healthy relationship with anger

OK, so you know what’s going on when you’re angry and why it happens. But how can you develop a healthy relationship with your anger?

For a lot of women, our go-to response to anger is to repress it, to hide it. But this is really damaging. Hiding your anger might get it off your mental plate for a short time, but it will always come out in another form, like depression, anxiety, chronic pain, or even addiction.

Of course, I’m not saying you should go the other way and just rain explosive rage on those around you whenever you’re upset.

What you need to do instead is to:

(1) Recognize that you’re in this physical state.

When you start to get the symptoms, like your heart beating faster, your palms sweating, your shoulders tensing, and your breath getting short … you’re in that fight or flight state. While there may or may not be an actual threat, your body feels like there is.

If you’re in a conversation with someone else when this happens, just say,

“You know what, I just need to take a break for a moment. Can we continue this in a little while?”

Then go away for 5 – 10 minutes, and once the hormones have passed through your body, you can come back and have a rational conversation about what’s going on.

(2) Let that anger out in a safe but honest way.

None of this thing where you calmly state what you’re angry about while you’re still inwardly seething. Get it out! Some good ways to do this are to punch a pillow, to turn the music up and dance your head off, do a really good workout.

Another thing I like to do sometimes is to give your anger a voice and write a letter about what you’re angry about. Don’t hold back, write it like you’re in grade three: “Dear poo-head, you made me so angry when you did that stupid thing and I hate your stupid piggy ears and your dumb voice…” It sounds silly, but it really works!

(3) Become a detective of your anger.

After you’ve gone through a period of anger and you’ve calmed down, look at things that could have triggered it and see what you can do to keep that from happening again. While there’s nothing wrong with anger, there’s also no point in putting yourself in situations where you’re going to be prone to it.

What’s your relationship with anger like?

OK ladies, let’s spill. How do you deal with anger? I have to admit, I still struggle with it sometimes. What about you?

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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How to collaborate to beat burnout

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Today, let’s take a look at how to collaborate – and why this is one of the most critical skills we have as women who want to make a difference in these times.

Why we’re wired for collaboration

All of us have experienced some degree of isolation this year, and that’s had an important effect on us.

After all, as a species, humans are naturally pack animals. We’re social, we exist in groups, and we’re drawn to connect and find power in groups.

Of course, let’s be real. Many of us already felt somewhat isolated or lonely before Covid-19 arrived.

Rushing from work to home to catch ups with family and friends, many of us have felt a sense of juggling many different masks. This is the phenomenon we often refer to as “Superwoman” syndrome – the pressure we have to be the perfect leader, the perfect colleague, the perfect friend, the perfect partner…

But lockdown has added an additional layer on to that.

It’s been a really difficult time.

And I think a lot of us have forgotten just how much we need to be able to rely on others – which is why this feels like such an important conversation to be having right now.

I believe we need to retrain our deep instinctive response to be able to reach out and actually rely on others.

To help us do that, let’s look at the difference collaboration can make.

There are 3 key gifts I believe powerful collaboration can bring us when it comes to making an impact.

I don’t think we always think about these enough – often we focus on the extra knowledge, or emotional support, being in a team can bring. Those are important too!

But these 3 gifts are components we need in order to create real, lasting change.

As I run through them, think about how present they are in your life. If they’re missing, read on for how to add them in…

The unexpected gifts of collaboration

Joy

We have a lot more joy when we do things with others, especially women. Some people absolutely have much more joy if they’re by themselves, but those people are at the extreme ends of the introversion spectrum.

Usually most people will find some joy in shared experiences. And that’s really important – it boosts us, it energises us, and it allows us to create change way beyond what’s possible when we’re just “pushing through”.

If you’re already in collaboration with others, check in – are you experiencing the joy of working together? Or do you tend to focus on problems and challenges? How could you bring more joy into your work together – even in a small way.

(In the One of many team, one of the ways we bring joy to our virtual team meetings is by ending with a dance party!)

Courage

Another gift of collaboration that I don’t always see people talking about is courage.

We see increased individual risk taking when we are working in collaboration with others. I know this from personal experience.

The only reason you see the version of Joanna Martin that you have is because of the people I work with. She’s who they expect to show up to work every day!

A lot of the time, this version of me is frankly FAR better than I actually feel inside! She’s way more awesome. Way more brave, way more articulate, way more together as a leader than I actually exist in my own inner world. And so for that reason, it calls the best of me forth.

I think here about medical teams, too.

If you’re in a critical situation with a patient and you’ve got a sounding board with people that you know, and trust, and you want to try something risky that you’ve never tried before, but it’s life and death – you’ve got a sounding board.

You can say “I’m think I’m going to try this”. And they say “Let’s do it”.

We can be more courageous collectively.

Balance

This final piece of collaboration holds the key, I think, to tackling the epidemic of overwhelm, burnout and stress. Because if we want to find a new way of working, and be more in our “soft power” – we have to be able to balance that with the more driven, action taking, goal-oriented side. This flow needs to happen across our whole lives. In our homes, with our partners, and at work.

And it would be impossible for most of us to achieve that level of balance while, for example, holding down a demanding full time job.

When we collaborate, we can share our vision and honour our individual cycles of rest and energy. We don’t all have to be in fierce action mode, and we don’t all have to retreat into deep, thoughtful creativity.

Together, we can do it all.

That’s why I sometimes worry about women who work by themselves – “solopreneurs” or freelancers, say – because that ability to collaborate is not there. If they’re trying to sweat it all out and do it by themselves.

So if that’s you, get creative about how you can collaborate if you are self-employed and in that kind of freelance environment.

So how can you create powerful spaces for collaboration?

Here are 3 critical components to remember if you want to know how to collaborate effectively.

#1 Set a shared intention

What’s the purpose of your collaboration? Is it a shared project, do you have a clear goal, or are you coming together to explore what’s possible?

There’s no one way to collaborate, but it’s important that everyone participating understands the intention and knows why it’s important.

#2 Know each other’s magic

What can you rely on each other for? What do you trust each other to do?

Some of these answers will come early on in collaborating – you can find out what other women have trained in, or what their skills are. But other aspects of this can only come when you’ve experienced what it’s actually like to collaborate. That’s when you learn the deeper magic you bring. Maybe one of you is fantastic at paying attention to detail, or spotting the potential pitfalls of a plan, or connecting to a big dream for what’s possible.

Make sure to keep reviewing, observing and naming the magic you each bring as you go.

#3 Create clear communication

And then part of magical collaboration is also agreeing on the process for collaboration. Some of that might be logistical – like agreeing when you’ll connect, and where, and how long for. Think also about what you’ll do if conflict arises. And consider the ways in which trust and credibility are built. It’s often in the spaces around the “real work” – the tea breaks, the chat before the call – that you begin to deepen the relationships you have with each other.

Communicating clearly, and regularly reviewing what is and isn’t working, will help you keep collaboration fresh.

Want more collaboration?

If you know you could do with more collaboration in your life, but aren’t sure who to connect with – we’ve got you. The One Woman Conference 2021 is happening 12-13 June and doors are now open for registration! This is an interactive, live, online event where you’ll have the opportunity to meet and connect with women from all around the world.

You’ll also discover how you can consciously create a network of support and learn practical ways to avoid burnout, handle stress, and boost your resilience as a leader.

To read all about the conference and book your ticket, click here: https://onewomanconference.co.uk/

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Dissecting leadership: Jacinda Ardern’s leadership style

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Today I want to share my thoughts on Jacinda Ardern’s leadership style – and why I see her as such a role model for women who want to create change.

First, let’s think about why there are so few women who display Ardern’s leadership style. When you look at the timeline of human history you observe that it’s only relatively recently that women were allowed access to the spheres of education, commerce and politics. It’s no surprise therefore that our role models for leadership were moulded to distinctly ‘masculine’ characteristics – competition, assertiveness, achievement.

In order to succeed as leaders women have tended to adopt these masculine traits. The successful female leaders we recall – the ones who ‘get stuff done’ – are often the ones with a singular focus, a desire to win, the ones who want to be seen as high achievers. The Superwomen.

Comic female superheroes exude the same masculine energy as their male counterparts. They fight, they are physically strong, they succeed by dominating. They are also drawn with the physical traits of the other female stereotype we associate with power and influence, the woman who uses sex as power.

However, more recently we have seen the emergence of a third example of female power. One that draws on more feminine characteristics – modesty, compassion, empathy – what I call Soft Power and exemplified by the New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern.

Finding the right energy

Before we look at the characteristics of Soft Power, I want to be clear that this is not an argument about what type of energy – masculine or feminine – is best for leadership. That is a question for the individual, only you can decide what energy you need to power your leadership, and when. There will be times when you need masculine energy to power through a particular challenge, and there will be times when Soft Power is more appropriate.

I founded One of many® to empower, support and encourage women to step into leadership. And to advocate for a greater understanding and appreciation of Soft Power, because I believe – and the evidence on burnout and stress bear this out – that we are currently missing out on a rich talent pool because the masculine role model of leadership burns a lot of people – particularly women – out.

The 5 C’s of Soft Power

The hallmarks of Soft Power are collaboration and collectivism. Facilitating collaboration requires a leader to be courageous, connected, compassionate, clear and creative.

● A courageous leader leads by example. Dedicated, involved, quick to act, they lead through championing their cause & participation.

● A connected leader looks after their own wellbeing and that of others, they lead through invitation & appreciation.

● A compassionate leader is patient and kind, always looking to bring out the best in others, they lead through love & encouragement.

● A clear leader is comfortable and certain of themselves. With a clear vision of what they want for their colleagues and customers, for their family and friends, they lead through vision & inspiration.

● A creative leader is innovative, curious, able to facilitate transformation, they lead through faith & wisdom.

The 5 C’s of Jacinda Ardern’s Leadership

Courage

It takes a certain degree of courage to lock down your country and close its borders. But it is a different type of courage to announce a national lockdown and then go on Facebook Live – fresh from (and still dressed for) bathing your toddler and putting them to bed – to answer questions about the new restrictions.

In that one Facebook Live from her home Ardern did two things. She showed that she was as involved and as affected as everyone else, explaining that she wanted to “check in with everyone as we prepare to hunker down for a few weeks”. Secondly she showed that she was as dedicated to the New Zealand people as she was to her young daughter.

Connected

There’s no surprise that Ardern is as loved as she is by so many. She brings her whole life force energy to everything she does. Fully embodied and fully present, she is connected to herself. Ardern’s leadership feels personal – as though we’re really getting to know her. But more than that, she is interconnected.

I have noted how she uses language to connect others. Approaching the end of lockdown in May 2020, she thanked her “team of five million” for the sacrifices they had made to protect the most vulnerable.

In her election acceptance speech last October, she used ‘We’ 30 times and ‘I’ only six times. Three times to thank people and the other three times to say ‘hope, believe and promise’. There’s no ‘I’ in Ardern’s team, she is a leader that leads from collaboration and connection, not individualism.

Compassion

I remember that feeling of revulsion, grief and huge sympathy when news of the New Zealand mosque shootings first broke. But showing that sympathy, wearing a hijab, and then addressing your Parliament with an Arabic greeting, all while under the lens of a western media arguably tinged with Islamaphobic sentiment, was an incredible demonstration of compassion. Ardern’s leadership exemplifies this compassion-led approach.

‘Be Strong, Be Kind’ is more than an election slogan for Ardern, it’s a way of being. When she hugged first responders after the volcano eruption on White Island killed 21 people, no one suggested it was just for the cameras. Similarly when she announced she would take a 20 per cent pay cut to her salary in recognition of the financial impact the pandemic was having on people’s incomes, no one said it was a publicity stunt. Her concern for the wellbeing of others is obvious and it is earning her widespread appreciation at home and abroad.

Clarity

Prime Minister Ardern has been clear and consistent in her COVID-19 strategy, “go hard and go early”. Border closures and a system of alert levels and associated restrictions were introduced within three weeks of New Zealand’s first COVID case being identified. Just over two months after the Country entered full lockdown, all restrictions were eased and by June 2020 sports fans were back in stadiums.

Throughout, Ardern has not tried to sugar-coat how challenging and difficult the response would be, but when asked early on in the pandemic if she was scared, she replied “No, because we have a plan”. Her resolute clarity was one reason why voters re-elected her by a landslide in last year’s General Election, and gave New Zealand it’s first majority Government in over 25 years.

Creative

Creativity in leaders can be misunderstood. People can think it means endless new ideas and initiatives, when really it’s the ability to facilitate change by questioning, listening and responding. Ardern wasn’t the only international leader who didn’t know how to handle a global pandemic. But unlike some of her peers she didn’t attempt to play down the threat, instead she quickly sought the advice of epidemiologists and then acted on it decisively.
Where other leaders might have focused on the specifics of the attack, Ardern’s response to the mosque shootings was to frame the attack not as an attack on muslims, but as an attack on everyone in New Zealand – (the victims) “are us” and the “perpetrator is not” she said; vowed never to say his name and then legislated to ban assault and military-style weapons.

A powerful example of the strength of Soft Power

As well as admiring her as a role model for Soft Power, I also connect with Ardern’s purpose. I founded One of many® because I want my children to grow up into a better world, and I believe greater diversity in leadership will help unlock that. Ardern says she got into politics because of children and wants to transform her country for the wellbeing of children and young people.

In her first term as Prime Minister she committed to halving child poverty in New Zealand by 2028. Conscious that our degrading environment will have huge consequences for future generations she announced a ban on single-use plastic bags throughout the country. During the early days of the pandemic she held a press conference just for children, saying they needed extra help understanding the pandemic, and followed it up days later announcing that Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy were essential workers and were exempt from lockdown.

Jacinda Ardern’s leadership style is a powerful example of the strength of Soft Power.

As she told The New York Times in 2018: “One of the criticisms I’ve faced over the years is that I’m not aggressive enough or assertive enough or maybe somehow, because I’m empathetic, it means I’m weak. I totally rebel against that. I refuse to believe that you cannot be both compassionate and strong”.

I agree.

Here’s to fierce compassion.

Who’s your leadership role model?

Let us know in the comments!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Breathing Underwater: stress about stress!

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Ever had one of those days when you feel like you’re drowning? When stress about stress seems to pile on, and you’re not sure how to find your way out?

Everything we need to do in our busy lives gets overwhelming from time to time. All of a sudden we are sinking and we can’t breathe.

On one memorable Sunday I had a deadline, a houseguest, a broken washing machine, a sick child and a birthday party all at the same time. I flailed around, uselessly grasping at straws and eventually gave up and let myself sink.

Naturally, the self-criticism was loud. Why is it that despite being bombarded with messages about me-time and meditation we still don’t seem to listen?

When I read about the dangers of stress, instead of doing something about it I stress about it…stress about stress! I don’t know about you but when I’m in a frantic state the last thing I think of doing is getting to a yoga class.

My mantra becomes ‘I don’t have time’ and the very choices that could help me most are the last ones on my mind.

(It’s the same way we find ourselves staying up late watching Netflix when we know we’ve got an early start. Or leaving a big work project until you can almost smell the deadline.)

If you’re feeling stress about stress, it’s a sign it’s time for change

Whilst it’s easy to joke about our lapses in self care – if we’re not careful, the idea that we’re “too busy to stop” can become something of a badge of honour.

We start to feel a little burst of pride or importance when we boast that we “don’t have time” to take care of ourselves. But running on cortisol takes a huge toll on our physical and mental health.

If you’re finding yourself swamped by responsibilities, and noticing stress getting out of hand, it’s a sign it’s time to take action. Listen to it.

The good news is, that action can be small to start off with!

Just enough to break the ‘Superwoman’ cycle, and get your head above water.

So if you keep forgetting to find twenty minutes twice a day for meditation, or if getting to the gym seems like an impossible dream this week, here are three quick fixes to start to create some space.

1 – Talk to Someone

The quickest and easiest way to get perspective on your stresses is to the share them with someone else. Often just the act of putting our worries into words makes them seem smaller. The thing is, we don’t talk like we used to and that’s okay. Text a pal, stick it on Twitter, post on Facebook. It’s all good venting. Chances are that if you write a ranty email to a friend you’ll feel better without even sending it.

2 – Look Up

One consistent message is that being in nature helps us to relax. Except it’s not easy to go for a country walk when you’re being pulled in ten different directions. We dismiss the advice because it is impractical. But there is one soothing natural beauty that is never far away. Are you by a window? Look up from the sink full of dirty dishes or the screen with ten different projects open and find the sky. Remind yourself that you are One of many. Feel the light on your face. Breathe.

3 – The Sixty-Second Massage

There’s a reflexology point about two finger widths above the armpit where the arm meets the chest. It’s called the Central Treasury. Stimulate this point by massaging here quite firmly with your opposite fingertips. Do this for thirty seconds then switch sides. You’ll find yourself instinctively breathing more deeply. The Central Treasury helps to increase blood flow and balance your emotions. It also feels fantastic!

Get out of overwhelm for good

If feeling like there’s too much on your plate is starting to be he background to your days, it’s time to make a change. We can only run on fumes for so long — and being constantly busy is getting in the way of the impact you’re really here to make on the world.

(Be honest. How much on your to do list would fall under the category of ‘things I’d like to be remembered for’?)

The Overwhelm First Aid Kit is our tried and tested method to calm the chaos and get yourself back to calm (with tea!).

Click here to download your free copy.

What are your favourite stress busters?

Let us know in the comments!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Making a difference #ForTheNextWoman

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With a big mission to transform the lives of one million women leaders, International Women’s Day is an annual celebration for us. And in 2021, our campaign focuses on WHY we’re doing what we’re doing. #ForTheNextWoman

Why #ForTheNextWoman?

In these volatile times it’s become more and more clear how much inequality and injustice there is in the world. The UN theme for #IWD21 is ‘Women in leadership: Achieving an equal future in a COVID-19 world’.

Which has led to many of us asking ourselves the question — is changing my own life really enough?

In the face of all the GIANT things that need to change in the world, is focusing on your own needs selfish?

Here’s my take on this.

I believe that one of the ingredients we need in order to create a thriving, just and equal world is capable, empowered women.

Women who are not afraid to say ‘I matter’ and ‘what I want counts’ and to bring pleasure and joy and excitement into their own lives.

It’s really important, of course, that we also change the systems. The exploitative, extractive cultures and our unconscious biases that cause harm without us realizing it.

But I don’t think we can wait until the systems themselves are fair to take action. If we can equip and empower women by showing up in SPITE of the current systems, we can become one of many women moving the dial for the ones who come next.

If, right now, your focus is on sorting out your finances, or being there for your kids, or supporting your team — never think what you’re doing isn’t enough.

You’re modelling a new way of being in the world. And it’s one that will, I hope, have repercussions for generations to come. #ForTheNextWoman in fact.

And when you’re fully resourced, capable, energised and ready to make a difference your impact will be far greater. When you’re standing in your power – nothing is impossible.

How are you making a difference?

Someone shared a gorgeous quote into the BeOne community this week. It’s a Chinese proverb:

When sleeping women wake, mountains move.

And women in our community are part of that process of waking up. When we know how to fill up our energy, set clear boundaries, make powerful decisions and collaborate effectively, it’s time to turn that power back out into the world.

To create a better future #ForTheNextWoman

The tools we share at One of many are designed by women, for women, and they help women around the world create extraordinary results.

For our coaches, they’ve allowed them to make an extraordinary impact this year.

Take Caroline Doran. We spoke to her at the end of last year, when she shared how profound an impact she’d had with her clients in 2020.

“My clients are in the charity sector. There’s a lot going on and it’s very difficult. I started quite a big coaching contract just as lockdown started, which was just amazing timing. And I got so much from helping people through this huge kind of ‘what the hell is happening?!’.

Being able to support people through that space of coaching, it gave me such a great sense of purpose and focus”.

Or Jen Goddard, an actuary. She told us

“I’m involved now in our gender diversity network in the office, trying to bring more of the coaching skills across the board and trying to get people to recognize how that can work.

Because what you so often see in talent programs is that people who are doing well get better. And the ones getting left behind are still left behind.

So I wanted to find the people who aren’t thriving, but would be talents if we could just get them to look after themselves. You know what I mean? It’s going from “let’s find some female talents and promote them” to “actually, let’s make everybody better”. And even the playing field in that way.”

I love seeing our coaches doing the work they do #ForTheNextWoman.

How about you?

And so, this International Women’s Day, we’re inviting you to join us in this celebration of women and the difference it makes to the world when we’re empowered. Here’s what to do.

#1 Spend some time thinking about who you’re making changes for.

Are you standing up to your boss so that the next woman in your role won’t have unreasonable demands on her? Are you sharing the honest version of your life on social media, so that the next women feeling like a failure will laugh and know she’s not alone? Are you showing your kids, your niece or nephew that you’re stepping up and making the world a better place?

Take a moment to acknowledge what you’re doing. It might seem small, but you’re part of a far bigger movement. Celebrate the impact you’re having on your own corner of the world — together, we are having a mighty impact.

#2 Shout your message from the rooftops!

We’re giving away a scholarship to our Coaching Certification for one of the women sharing the changes she’s making #ForTheNextWoman. So if you’ve been inspired by the difference our coaches are making in the world, make sure you take part to be in with a chance of getting your training costs covered by us! To take part, simply:

  1. Post a message/photo/video on your personal page or profile on social media AND in the BeOne group, explaining who you are stepping up for
  2. Tag @oneofmanywomen and, if they’re on Facebook, a friend/relative/client you’re stepping up for this International Women’s Day.
  3. Make sure to use the hashtags #FortheNextWoman and #IWD2021 and tag @oneofmanywomen

    4. We’ll select a winner from the posts shared and Jo will officially announce the winner on her Lunch and Learn live on Tuesday 9th March.

Have fun!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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How to develop your intuition

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How much do you trust yourself? Everyone has intuitive potential – but for some of us, it can feel as though our intuition is frustratingly out of reach. Don’t worry. There are some simple tools that have helped women in our community learn how to develop their intuition, and with regular practice I think you’ll find them really helpful too. So if you’re curious about how to develop your intuition, read on.

What do we mean by intuition?

Before we consider how to develop your intuition, it’s helpful to get clear on what we actually mean by the term. You may know that I’m a bit of an etymology geek — and I think the history of this word is especially useful.

You see, many of us assume intuition is something a little bit esoteric, or somehow spiritual. There’s a ‘mystic’ sense to the world that can be a turn-off if you’re more of a science-minded woman. And indeed, part of the word’s history is the Late Middle English, ‘denoting spiritual insight or immediate spiritual communication’.

But the other root of this word is the Latin ‘intueri’ — to consider, or look into.

So another way to think about your intuition is simply the insight or consideration you can bring to a challenge or problem.

Something that might help you begin to embrace it as a tool you can use in your day to day life — whatever your beliefs.

Knowing beyond logic

In Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking Malcolm Gladwell examines research around decision-making. He looks at fascinating cases where split-second judgments: from firemen dealing with a chaotic and dangerous situation, to art dealers ‘sensing’ a flawlessly executed fake, turned out to be as accurate as carefully pondered judgments.

He concludes that those experts who have truly mastered their subject are able to make incredibly accurate decisions at lightning speed. But it’s not magic. They absorb the different facets of a situation so quickly, that they can ‘feel’ what needs to happen before their rational brain has time to assimilate the evidence.

What we might, in fact, call intuition.

“…If we are to learn to improve the quality of the decisions we make, we need to accept the mysterious nature of our snap judgements. We need to respect the fact that it is possible to know without knowing why we know and accept that — sometimes — we’re better off that way.” — Malcolm Gladwell

Intuition and the Sorceress

At One of many we use the 5 Women’s PowerTypes as models of leadership that can help us resource ourselves in any situation. The PowerType who leads us in this realm of instinct beyond logic is The Sorceress. She’s the part of you that instinctively understands what needs to be done, even if you can’t quite explain how. Her instincts guide her when it comes to decision making. And she has complete faith in her ability to ‘sense’ a situation or relationship, and know the truth that lies beneath it.

This is one of the most powerful aspects of leadership you can cultivate.

So how can you turn this to your advantage? How can you develop your intuition into a powerful tool for life?

Here’s how to develop your intuition

1. Clear your mind

If you’re anything like me you probably have lots of thoughts running through your mind at any given moment. All of this “noise” makes it difficult to hear your intuitive voice. Let them go. Picture your thoughts floating away on a cloud. Try meditation, or a practice like yoga or mindfulness which allows you to focus your mind on one activity, and let the other distractions float away.

2. Imagery

Here’s an exercise that can help you if you’re pondering a specific challenge:

Imagine yourself in a quiet place in nature, surrounded by beauty and wonder. Make this image as vivid as possible by using all of your senses. Then, imagine a treasure chest nearby. You feel excited as you approach the chest because you know that the answer to your question is inside. Take a deep breath and imagine yourself opening the treasure chest.

Now, if you struggle with this whole ‘imagine’ thing, know this. When I close my eyes and visualize, it’s black. I don’t see anything. But I pretend I can. And it still works!

I’ve changed my entire life by pretending I can visualize.

(Not to mention pretending I don’t feel dumb when I move my body… When actually it’s quite ridiculous on some level! And pretending it’s OK for me to smother a pillow in snot from crying… When really I’m a grown woman, come on!!)

Turns out pretending can be life changing if you give it a chance…

3. Dream

Take some time before you fall asleep to ask for an answer to come to you through your dreams. Your answers may come symbolically and may need some interpretation.
Look for the emotions and themes of your dreams, and see if this sheds light on your problem.

4. Affirmations

Here are just a few examples of affirmations to increase your intuitive abilities:

  • I trust my intuition.
  • My intuitive voice is consistently accurate.
  • I access my intuition easily.

Can you think of others? Find one that works for you, and try popping it on a post-it somewhere you can see it, or repeating it to yourself while you’re brushing your teeth.

5. Practice

The more you use and trust your intuition, the stronger it will get and the more confident you will feel about it. The whispers from your soul will always guide you to the path that is for your highest good.
Enjoy developing this incredible gift you have. And don’t forget to let us know how you get on!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.