Joanna Martin

3 reasons to sort out your finances (and where to start)

July 29, 2021 By Joanna Martin

“I just can’t do it!” I told Greg over breakfast. “They’re all so good! How can I possibly choose just one?”.

“Well… do you have to?”

I sighed. “I guess not. I mean, I am the boss.”

I hate breaking my promises. Even writing this makes me feel uncomfortable. What are you thinking about me? But this time, I had a good reason. 3 women had taken a bold step to reach out for support with their money stuff.

If you’ve wondered about how to sort out your finances, you’ll know the courage that takes.

This just felt like such a good cause!

Let me backtrack a bit… At our lunch and learn live session over on the One of many Facebook page we’d spent the best part of an hour talking about wealth.

The Stages of Wealth, to be precise. Which is a cool visual guide that really simplifies your journey when it comes to finances. When you know which stage you’re at, you know what you need to do next – it’s that simple.

(You can go back and watch the whole video here if you like…)

As ever, it was a truly awesome discussion. This really is the smartest and warmest community of women I know. And, at the end of the session I announced a little competition.

The prize? A coveted place on our BeWealth virtual retreat.

Our two day deep-dive into women and finances. It’s online, so you can join from anywhere, and during the retreat you’re guided through practical ways to take control of your financial situation AND tools and support to help you navigate the emotional side as well. Plus, there’s 10 weeks of practical follow up to make sure all those shiny new habits stick.

In other words – a pretty cool prize!

But when it came to choosing the winner? I couldn’t decide!

We’d whittled the entries down to just 3 finalists. It was my job to make the call. And as I tore myself up trying to nominate one lucky winner – the answer, as my darling husband so clearly pointed out – was simple.

I would choose not one but THREE women to join us at BeWealth.

Because each of the represented 3 VERY bloody good reasons to take charge of our finances!

And in celebration of those 3 good reasons, I want to share them with you now. Because one of them might be YOUR good reason, too.

Three good reasons to sort out your finances

REASON #1: To change the narrative about women and money.

For millennia, women were simply not allowed access to money. In fact, in the UK we don’t have to look that far back to discover a time when married women needed their husband’s permission to open a bank account (1975, to be precise).

Which is why Valerie’s nomination of her daughter sung out to me. When women in their twenties get empowered about finances right from the start, they rewrite the rules for the next generation.

In fact, when you learn about money at any age, you’re a part of the massive shift of power that has taken place in recent history. From male dominated, to equal collaboration. From “that’s not what women do” to “women are really good at this”.

When we’re confident managing our money, we remove a huge block to our participation in conversations from economic to politics. And on a personal level, our day to day lives are lifted of that stress and uncertainty, and become opportunities for us to flow and thrive.

REASON #2: To model a different way of being.

The next woman who got me really inspired was Aisha. Having recently gone through a divorce, I love how conscious Aisha is of the role model she is for her young children.

When you’re clear and confident about your money – whether it’s how you invest it, what you choose to spend it on, or how much you earn – the small people in your life take note.

They grow up knowing that money isn’t something to be frightened, ashamed of or resented.

Instead, they see that wealth is a powerful tool to support causes you care about, and help you thrive as a family.

Women who are confident with their money show the next generation how to do things differently.

REASON #3: To give your gifts fully to the world

Whether you’re self employed, retired or work for an organization, your time and energy is making a contribution to the world. The final entrant to our competition was nominated by her friend Patricia, who wanted to boost her business supporting people in the maritime industry.

All of us have a calling – we’re all uniquely placed to make a difference.

You might also be called to entrepreneurship – perhaps you’ve got an incredible vision for a way to change how we live.
You might have a charity or non-profit that’s close to your heart and needs to expand.
Maybe you lead a business that employs hundreds of people.

Whatever your circumstance, I can guarantee you this: feeling empowered about the money side of things will enable you to seriously amplify your impact.

When you’re no longer worrying about your card being declined at the end of the month or an unexpected tax bill derailing your plans, you free up a ton of energy and creativity.

When you’re clear about your financial future, you can focus on the difference you can make right now.

And when you’re equipped to have powerful conversations with your partner, you can allow your relationship to flourish without that “elephant in the room.”

So what’s yours?

OK, you’ve heard my confession… and I reckon you probably get why I couldn’t choose just one of these inspiring women to win the prize!

And now I’m curious about your reason to sort out your finances.

Are you keen to model a new way of being for the next generation; empower yourself to be part of the great shift towards equality; or give your all to the impact you are here to have?

Maybe you’ve got a different reason for taking charge? I’d love to know – drop a comment below and share yours!

Got a question about how to sort out your finances?

Every Tuesday I host a live “Lunch and Learn” session on the One of many Facebook page. Click here to join me live at 1pm UK time, and bring your questions!

The surprising secret to financial freedom

July 22, 2021 By Joanna Martin Leave a Comment

The easiest way to take control of your finances and move towards financial freedom is to spend less money.

It’s really that simple!

You might be thinking “Hang on, if I had financial freedom I would be able to buy whatever I wanted”.

But what if you didn’t want to buy anything? Would you have financial freedom then?

The shortcut to financial freedom

Whatever stage of wealth you’re at, breaking the link between consumerism and happiness will make a huge difference to your finances AND your wellbeing. If stopping shopping feels impossible, it’s not your fault! We’ve all had a lifetime of sophisticated advertising constantly telling us that this car or that mobile phone will make us feel happy.

The marketing men (and women) need us to believe that a bigger house or a better holiday is the key to joy. That’s their job and they get paid well for persuading us.

But often, any happiness we feel is fleeting. And if it makes you feel broke at the end of the month then so-called “healthy” consumerism is actively working against our peace of mind.

(Not to mention the impact on the planet of all those brand news clothes, gadgets, toys… many of which will end up in landfill).

Think about it. Someone who spends a thousand pounds has a lot less money than someone who banks a hundred. They just have more stuff. What is going to make you happy long-term? A shiny new toy or a steadily growing bank balance?

What financial freedom really means

Financial freedom does not necessarily mean earning loads of money. Sure, that would be fun, but a high income does not guarantee financial freedom. Spending significantly less than you earn does.

So now you might be thinking: “Ugh, frugality, how dull!”

Well, one way to avoid feeling deprived is to earn more money. It’s always an option.

But once you start to think of saving money as making money everything changes. Instead of feeling the lack of the pair of new shoes, start thinking how you’ll invest the money you saved.

If you have nothing to invest your returns will be zero.

I’m sure there’s a few of you out there now thinking: “But I like new shoes, I like my new phone. I love holidays and meals out. I like shopping for pretty things for the house.”

The question is – if these things are preventing you from achieving financial freedom, are they really worth it?

It’s a serious question. Maybe they are, maybe they’re not.

How often do you really think about the impact of your choices?

When it’s worth spending the money

Here’s what you need to remember: We all have VERY different needs and desires when it comes to money. Your outgoings will be very different to someone else’s, based on all sorts of things. Your needs, your values, your dependents, where and how you live are just a few examples.

If you’re earning great money, and spending a lot on things that make you happy – go you!

If you’re happy spending very little and earning very little – hurrah!

Both of those scenarios are just as likely to lead to financial freedom.

But if money is causing you stress and worry, or you know you could cut a big chunk off your spending without really noticing a dip in your happiness – it might be time to look again at your choices.

The key is knowing exactly where you are – and where you want to get to.

The stages of wealth

Getting to financial freedom is a journey. Knowing where you are on the stages of wealth means you can quickly identify what you need to focus on first.

Read more about the different stages, and how they can help you focus your energy most effectively in our free guide, here.

When you understand where you are you’re able to make confident choices, and know you’re putting your energy where it’s going to have the most impact.

Got a question about money?

Want to take back control of your finances? Every Tuesday I host a live “Lunch and Learn” session on the One of many Facebook page. Click here to join me live at 1pm UK time, and bring your questions!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

How to stop being everything to everyone

July 15, 2021 By Joanna Martin

Anna’s knackered.

It was a friend’s birthday last night, and even though she was exhausted after work she still found herself showing up at the restaurant at the agreed time. After all, it’s special to get together and celebrate and she knows her friend has had an especially tough year.

But half way through the evening she got an email from her boss, asking if she could be on a call early the next day to take on a new project. There’s no one else who’d do as good a job – she knows Anna has a lot on but this is important.

Anna’s lunch break was swallowed up by a colleague who really needed to talk through her relationship issues. And she’d promised her mum she’d do some research into a better rate for her car insurance. So she finished late, again, before remembering she’d agreed to babysit for her sister that evening. No time for the exercise habit she’s been trying to start – it’s a mad rush to her sister’s place, and then home late to collapse into bed.

Where she lies awake for half an hour feeling guilty that she didn’t show up to the community meeting she’d meant to volunteer for. Or do that bloody couch to 5K thing.

Have you been in Anna’s shoes before?

Are you trying to be everything to everyone?

One of the most amazing things about women is our capacity to care so deeply for others.

If it needs to be done, we’ll do it.

If someone’s hurting, we want to fix it.

If there’s a chance to make the world a better place, we’re all over it.

But there can be a downside to this incredible capacity for care: if we’re not very deliberate about who we care for, we end up giving too much to too many for far too long, often only stopping when we’ve completely run ourselves into the ground.

The truth is, when push comes to shove, each of us is a human being, which means we’ve only got a limited amount of energy available to us.

We’ve all only got 24 hours in the day. The life that we’re living is a limited resource, which means that we have to choose where and with whom we want to share our very, very precious energy.

To make that happen, you’ve got to have a really clear sense of who’s in your realm and who’s at your hearth.

Your realm

Your realm is the people that you care for, the people you wish to see safe and prosperous and abundant, and those that you give your time, energy, and other resources to. You’re very much in your Queen archetype in relation to these people — which means that your realm can be quite extensive.

For instance, anyone who’s aligned with the vision of creating a global feminine paradigm is part of my realm. The BeOne global Community of women are – you, reading this – as are my team, the people I work with at the Hunger Project, my associates, my clients, my family … you see how it works.

Your hearth

Then there’s the people who are at your hearth.

These are the ones that you deeply, deeply care about, those people whose wellbeing directly impacts yours.

When you’re with these people, you’re in your mother archetype, and they’re also the people for whom you’ll sacrifice from time to time. For instance, if you and your child are sick at the same time, their sickness wins out, and you’ll sacrifice your energy and desires to make sure they’re OK.

Anyone who doesn’t fall into one of these two categories is simply outside your realm.

Those are the people that you just don’t give any energy or attention to, because they’re not your people.

And that’s OK! You don’t have to be responsible for everyone. In fact, if you try to take care of people outside your realm, you end up spreading yourself so thin that you can’t care for the people inside your realm.

And then there are the crazymakers…

These are the people who are currently inside your realm, and maybe even at your hearth – when they really shouldn’t be.

They’re the ones that make your life crazy, the ones that always seem to call just when you’re about to get to work or finally do something for yourself.

They’re the ones that consistently take more than they give, wrangle themselves into special occasions and celebrations you really wish they weren’t at, and have a brilliant gift for making you feel wrong, inadequate, and guilty.

We’ve all had at least one of these types of people in our lives … and despite what you might expect, I’m not going to tell you that you have to cut them off carte blanche.

These types of relationships are often codependent, which means that you may be getting something out of the relationship, or it may be a situation where you’ve shifted and grown but you’re still keeping some old habits. They might be family members or old friends – and setting boundaries around these kinds of relationships is a delicate process.

Regardless, you should bring some consciousness to the situation and start to look at how those relationships impact your wellbeing and your ability to show up in the world as you’re meant to.

Your turn – are you being everything to everyone?

Now it’s your turn to think about the relationships in your life. Set aside some time to do a little relationship auditing today or tomorrow — having your realm and your hearth defined is hugely important for being able to care for yourself and for others.

Here’s one way to do it:

Take a pen and paper and make two lists.

On the first one, write down everybody who’s in your realm; all those people that you care about, all those people you give to and want to change the world for.

And on the second list, write down all the people who are at your hearth; those people who’s wellbeing directly impacts yours.

Now ask yourself, “Who’s not on my list — and why is that a good thing?”

Who are you setting boundaries with so that you can preserve your energy for the things you consciously choose to give energy to?

Then have a look at the relationships that you need to have conversations about, or maybe even step back from.

Do you have any crazymakers in your realm or at your hearth?

Finally, think of just one way that you’re going to prioritise the people at your hearth this week … and tell me how you’re going to do that below in the comments!

Got a question about boundaries?

Want more support for your leadership? Every Tuesday I host a live “Lunch and Learn” session on the One of many Facebook page. Click here to join me live at 1pm UK time, and bring your questions!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

Leaders: 5 signs it’s time to take stock

July 8, 2021 By Joanna Martin

“I feel like I’m failing on every front.”

Thousands of women had tuned in to find their momentum for change. And maybe they weren’t expecting to hear those words coming from my mouth.

After all – from the outside, it probably looked as though I had it all together. We were hosting a stellar virtual conference; with an attendance list of thousands of women around the world, and extraordinary international speakers.

On every possible measure, it was a runaway success.

And yet, there had been moments in the weeks where I’d truly felt as though I was failing on every front.

Failing at doing a great job with the business. Failing in my mothering. Failing as a wife. Failing in my ability to look after me.

Now, objectively, I’m usually able to step back from that feeling pretty quickly and know that actually, I’m doing great.

But those moments, especially seven days before my period arrives (and the whole world is ending!) I really have felt that I’m not able to manage. And I know that, if certain signs stick around, I need more than a rest – it’s time for something far more radical.

Today I’m going to share those 5 signs it’s time to take stock, and the question leaders need to ask ourselves.

But first –

How about you?

How about you, my love?

From the outside, do your friends think your career is great, your colleagues assume your relationship’s fine, and your kids never question that there’s cash in the bank… when on the inside, you feel like that’s far from the truth?

As leaders, many of us are familiar with that gap between the way others see us, and how we feel on the inside. And yet, there are times when we really do need to take some time out, and stop “pushing through” our feelings of overwhelm.

Let’s start with those 5 signs that it’s time to pause and take stock.

5 signs it’s time to take stock

Imagine your leadership as a platform.

Up on the top is you as a leader – your vision for what’s possible, the collaboration and support you have with those around you, your decisions and your ideas.

Underneath, you’re held up by the various core areas of your life: Relationships, finances, career, health and community.

When all is going well in most of those areas, you’re supported and able to shine.

When a few of your pillars are wobbly at once – that’s when you feel yourself in a stage of deep transformation. It’s often a sign that you’re going through a deep personal shift.

Our Head Coach, Annie, calls it the “phoenix” phase.

Which might sound very beautiful – transformation! Awakening! Discovering a new level of purpose!

In reality, it often shows up in signs like this:

Finding that we don’t have anything in the tank. That one more thing will tip us over the edge.
Beating ourselves up for procrastination, or feeling like we’re failing.
Feeling a sense of inertia – like you’re wading through treacle and can’t seem to find your flow.
Experiencing heightened emotions…
Or the flip side – feeling quite numb and tuned out.

If these 5 signs it’s time to take stock sound familiar, you’re not alone.

This “phoenix” phase feels like really widespread among women right now. I’ve been hearing from lots of the women on our Lead the Change leadership program that this is happening for them.

And of course, when we zoom out and look at what’s going on in the world, it’s easy to see why.

Those “pillars” that support you have almost certainly taken a knock in recent months.

Perhaps your career’s feeling challenging. If you’re a business owner you might be seeing your staff experience some ups and downs, your industry might be changing, there might be other things going on. Within organisations there’s a lot of change happening at the moment.
After the past two years of going in and out of lockdown, many of our relationships are struggling. Our kids are struggling; our parents are isolated; our friendships have been whittled down.
And it’s all taken its toll on our health, too. I was fascinated to read a recent article written by a doctor in the United States about the impact she’s seeing on her patients’ health – not from any one factor, but from the accumulated stress of the past 18 months.

Writing in the Atlantic, Lucy McBride states that burnout has, in her view, gone beyond a phenomenon attached to work and become a defining feature of almost all of our lives. The title of her article says it all, I think: By Now, Burnout Is A Given.

“Now is the time to redefine burnout as the mental and physical fallout from accumulated stress in any sphere of life, whether that’s work, parenting, caregiving, or managing chronic illness. To muster the energy for reentry into non-pandemic life, people need more than a vaccine and a vacation; they need validation of their experience, a broader reckoning with how they lived before March 2020, and tools to dig out from more than a year of trauma.”

Facing our collective burnout

So how can we begin to “dig ourselves out” – when we don’t have the luxury of heading off on retreat, taking a sabbatical from work, or stepping back from the support we offer to those around us?

There is no single answer that will work for all of us.

But I believe that if we learn to use our discernment, we can begin to tune in to the needs we each have at this time.

Specifically, I invite you to consider whether this is a time for you to be digging in, and actively increasing your capacity – for example through training, coaching, or new skills – or whether it’s time to surrender to deep replenishment.

What we at One of many call radical compassion for oneself.

Each of us will have a different choice to make.

For some of us, it might just be that surrender to “there’s nothing I can do”. As Susie Heath shared so beautifully back in 2020,

“There have been days when I’ve just had to go to bed and just surrender, you know, surrender to what is rather than, than pushing and fighting all the time and being OK about that. And I think that’s been the thing for me, is being okay to surrender to the challenge and go: ‘Right now I actually need to rest. I need to stop. I need to eat digestive biscuits, and be okay about that without beating myself up.’”

On the other hand, you might be feeling as though you’re ready to uplevel – to increase the impact you’re making, and use this time as a springboard to define the life you want. It could be a change of careers, or a new depth to your relationship with your partner.

And for all of us, we’ll find there’s a natural flow between those two states.

That can happen at the micro level – each day, you’ll have times when you’re more active and times when you need to rest.

And it can also happen at the macro level, as when you consciously decide to prioritise your replenishment first and foremost and decide you’ll come back in a week or a month or a season, and re-evaluate with fresh eyes.

How do you discern what we need?

So, if you’ve identified that you could do with a pause, and a rethink about where you’re headed – what can you do?

There are a few tools I’ve found really powerful when it comes to shifting where we’re at.

#1 Morning pages

One of my best loved tools comes from The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, and it’s called Morning Pages. The idea is that every morning, you take some time to write completely freely and uncensored about whatever’s on your mind. Could be the shopping list, your gripes at your partner, to the really deep stuff – why am I here, who am I. A practice of morning pages is one of the most effective ways I know to really tune into yourself and start to discern what you need.

If you don’t already have a practice, try bringing it into your routine and see what comes up.

#2 Emotional hygiene

Emotions are running high at the moment. From worry about what’s coming next, to anger at the decisions being made by politicians and frustration with the ongoing uncertainty. A practice of regular emotional hygiene can allow us to release those intense feelings safely. There are many different ways to release your emotions. Morning pages might help; for some of us, listening to music or dancing allows us to really feel what’s coming up and release it.

How do you release emotion – and can you make it a regular practice for you?

#3 Reach out

For women leaders especially, connecting and collaborating is an incredible antidote through times of stress. Find someone you can be vulnerable with, and really explore what’s going on for you. Working with a coach can be really helpful – so long as it’s one who is able to help you decide whether you need to take on more, or surrender to doing radically less. The One of many coach directory is a guide to our Certified Women’s Coaches who each have their own unique experience, combined with our specific methodology designed to support women leaders.

Use it to find a coach to help you discover what’s next in your leadership.

What do you need right now?

Have you noticed any of these signs you could do with a break – and do you know whether it’s time to rest, or time to build up your capacity? Let us know how you’re feeling in the comments – we’re a diverse community of leaders from all walks of life, and I’m really curious to know how you’re doing right now.

Got a question about coaching?

Want more support for your leadership? Every Tuesday I host a live “Lunch and Learn” session on the One of many Facebook page. Click here to join me live at 1pm UK time, and bring your questions!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

Meet 5 women’s coaches changing the world

June 30, 2021 By Joanna Martin

Many of us experience coaching or mentoring as a one-on-one relationship. You might have had a coach to support you at a certain point in your career, or when you faced a particular challenge in your life. But the impact coaches have goes way beyond their individual clients. Here are 5 ways women’s coaches are changing the world.

Are you a coach? How are you making a difference? Leave us a comment and let us know how you’re proud to be changing the world!

5 ways women’s coaches are changing the world

#1 They change industries

Especially in traditional “masculine” sectors, having a leader or manager equipped with coaching tools can harness huge opportunity for change.

Jen Goddard’s an actuary – and she’s fired up about the potential she sees around her.

“The financial services industry is in charge of so much of the money in the world. It’s also one of the industries with the worst gender pay gaps. So the idea of being able to bring more femininity into that area and change what they’re doing could have such a massive impact on the world as a whole. It’s quite exciting.
I’ve been running a group coaching program in my organisation, which has been amazing. And everyone has just been absolutely loving it. Every time it gets relaunched on our intranet it books out within about 24 hours, which is just brilliant. There’s just such demand for that at the minute.
I’ve spent my whole career being told that I’m “not your average actuary”. I’d always been like, well, I don’t know what that means.
And suddenly I’m involved now in our gender diversity network in the office, trying to bring more of the coaching skills across the board and trying to get people to recognize how that can work. It’s really wonderful.”

#2 They change their own lives

For coaches running their own businesses, coaching can unlock the freedom to plan their time in a way that suits them. Hannah Roberts left her job as a scientific project manager at a large university to set up her own business as a coach.

The change has impacted not only her feeling of fulfillment – but how she’s able to be there for her family, too.

“It’s amazing every single day to sit down and think, “Oh, I actually, I did something today and it really made a difference”. Because that was the big piece for me that was missing as a scientist. I was trying to get the research to where it needed to be as fast as possible, but I couldn’t see or feel the difference I was making. Whereas, every single coaching session I do, I can see they’ve moved, I’ve made a difference.
And I know for my particular mission that they go on and they go on to have a ripple effect wherever they are too. So it’s not just the difference I can see, but the wider context of that too.
But the whole point of me setting up my coaching business wasn’t all altruistic. It wasn’t all about helping other people. I also wanted to carve up my own work life balance too. So working from home just really suits me. I do shorter days, so I’m able to take my kids and pick them up from school and nursery and have some time when they get home and actually see the kids.”

#3 They change how they lead

Leaders in every area have been under extraordinary pressure. Coach training allows them to grow their emotional resilience and in turn, support their teams more effectively. Sarah Tite shared:

“The whole process of coaching has helped me manage myself, as well as support my team. Because as a leader, it doesn’t matter how I’m feeling. I have to be able to show up as my best self. It’s a little bit about the knowledge I have, but ultimately, I can find someone to teach me that. I can buy that in if I need to.
What I can’t outsource is my self awareness, how I’m responding to things, how I’m showing up. And as a leader, that’s really your measure. If you can look at what’s going on, and deal with it – with other people’s emotions – without it upsetting you, that’s what really matters.
Now I use my coaching skills every day, with my team and colleagues. I’ve also discovered a network of peers within my industry, and together we’re looking at how we can create more resources to support the charity sector as a whole. It’s given me the tools, and resilience, and connections I need to really make a difference.”

#4 They support people at the front end of change

Whether it’s tackling the climate crisis, ending poverty or transforming healthcare – globally the problems we face are big, complex and deeply entangled.

Coaches support the people working on solutions to do so in a way that’s sustainable for them. Katherine Allen, a conservation ecologist, qualified as a coach whilst working in a university as a Knowledge Exchange Fellow.

“I’ve always enjoyed the communications side of things, so Coaching Certification appealed to me as a way to add to my skillset and give me another way to communicate, influence, and work with people around a particular agenda.
The coaching approach is just an amazing methodology. Techniques like deep listening, and all of the tools, are really life skills in my opinion, that not many people have. Having the One of many toolkit has strengthened me as a person, and allowed me to show up in it in a much more positive way.
Academia is full of people who are stressed out, and overworked. There’s a lot of burnout there as well. Now that the general population is waking up to the climate crisis and there’s so much negativity in the news, I feel like those of us that have known about it for a long time are kind of re-experiencing it again. As a coach, I can support my colleagues to work in a healthier way.
Coaching Certification hasn’t just changed how I show up in my role. I think it’s changed what I’m able to do in my life.”

#5 They model different ways of being

Ask any coach and they’ll tell you – coaching asks you to “walk your talk” when it comes to living in integrity and bringing your values into everything you do. Claryn Nichols was a health coach before she trained with One of many, and has found the tools have strengthened the way she brings her beliefs into her life.

“Seeing clients making changes is amazing… And I think when you’re in alignment with what you doing, as a coach, it’s easy. I believe that as coaches, we have to live in alignment with our values ourselves, because otherwise we’re lacking integrity. So, working with a client, you have to be a few steps ahead.
You’ve got to be aligned, and you have to embody what you say. You have to believe in what you say and what you do yourself. That’s really inspired me.
As a coach you have to continue shedding limiting beliefs as well. It’s a personal thing, as you do this, you do your own healing. For me, the shift is that I have found more courage to just speak. To not care about what other people think. I believe in what I’m doing, because I’m doing it myself. It’s moving away from that being perfect and wanting to do everything.
By letting go of that need to be perfect, it actually does make you stronger.”

How are you changing the world?

We believe every woman has the potential to create change. Whether it’s modelling a different way of relating to your family; making waves in your organisation; empowering your community to take a stand or walking your talk when it comes to systemic change.

What’s your impact on the world? However big or small, we’d love to celebrate it! Leave us a comment and let us know.

Want to discover coaching skills for yourself?

To learn practical ways to support yourself and those around you, register for our free training: The Secret to Coaching Women. You’ll discover tools you can use straight away to have more of an impact on the world.

Got a question about coaching?

Every Tuesday I host a live “Lunch and Learn” session on the One of many Facebook page. Click here to join me live at 1pm UK time, when I’ll be sharing tips on making an impact without burning out – and answering your questions too.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

What’s the difference between a consultant and a coach?

June 23, 2021 By Joanna Martin

Hands up if you’ve ever been given some really good advice – and then promptly ignored it? Me too. One of the most powerful aspects of coaching is the way it allows us to arrive at our own decisions about our next steps. For me, that’s a key difference between a consultant and a coach – and I explain why that is in this quick 5-minute video.

The difference between a consultant and a coach

In it, I share:

What a consultant is, and what we might expect them to do
What we mean when we talk about coaching
The elephant in the room when it comes to coaching – this one’s for the sceptics out there!

How about you?

I’d love to know your take on this distinction. Is the difference between a consultant and a coach one you’re conscious of, and have you ever grappled with the concept of what coaching is? Are you someone who prefers to engage an expert who’ll give you specific advice, or do you thrive when you’re able to reach your own conclusions?

Leave us a comment, let us know.

Got a question about coaching?

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

Stress: 6 warning signs that something’s got to change

June 17, 2021 By Joanna Martin

I remember getting off the phone from a client. She’d had ME in the past. You know – that thing that most doctors don’t understand. That thing where they tell you “Just slow down”.

But she’s a small business owner. And she wants to be a successful one at that.

She told me “I’m exhausted and I don’t know how long I can keep doing this.”

I thought “You and about 1 billion other women.” (I didn’t say that out loud – I just thought it, truly!)

Seriously though – I look around me and I see many, many headless chickens.

All it would take is one nasty cold, or an unexpected bill, or a nasty fight with a lover and the whole tired house of cards could tumble. We’ve seen it in recent months. Add a global pandemic to an already-burnt out woman, and the impact is amplified.

I see too many women skating on very thin ice where their mental, emotional and physical wellbeing is concerned.

And that is 3 VERY overused metaphors in as many sentences. Which tells me that this is a state that is far too common!

So I decided, being a good doctor, to put together some signs and symptoms to look out for.

Let’s keep that headless chicken out of the house of cards on the thin ice, huh?

1. You find it hard to stop.

You know – you’ve finished your day’s work, and whoops – opened your email for one last look on the phone after dinner. Or you’re out on a date. Your date goes to the toilet, and you pick up the phone to check Facebook. Maybe you’re renewing your car insurance while watching Netflix, or talking on the phone while tidying the kitchen. When was the last time you did just ONE thing at a time. Or even… sat and did some nothing for a few minutes?

2. You’re a grouch more than you’d like.

It might be snarky comments to your spouse or kids. Or bitchy comments about work colleagues. Or perhaps you’ve been saving everyone the trouble and avoiding company because you don’t want to inflict yourself on others. However you slice it, you’re not proud of the way you’ve been lately.

3. You’re harsh on yourself

Have you been down on yourself a bit of late? Maybe it’s saying things like “I’m lazy, I just need a good kick up the bum.” Or telling yourself that it’s your own fault you’re overwhelmed – if you were more confident, you wouldn’t be in this place. Maybe it’s obsessing about your muffin top, greys or stray facial hair. But your self esteem is taking a battering.

4. You find it hard to find time for you

You know that pop culture says you should have more “me time”. But your time ends up binge watching Netflix, scrolling Instagram, or something equally escapist. Any time you do give yourself is numbing you, not replenishing you.

5. Your body hurts

Maybe it’s something specific – a cold you can’t shake. Maybe it’s sore legs, back, headaches. Maybe it’s as simple as when you open your mouth really wide you can tell how tight your jaw muscles are from unconscious tension.

6. Sleep is tougher than it should be.

Maybe its’ difficulty getting off. Maybe you wake up at 2am with your mind racing. Maybe you sleep like a log but can never get enough. High levels of stress hormones impact the body’s sleep in different ways.

Which signs are you showing?

All of us have some level of stress in our lives. That’s not always a bad thing! It keeps us engaged, interested, allows us to solve problems and forces us to prioritise.

But stress can become really detrimental to our health and wellbeing. This is of course not an exhaustive list, but when I’ve seen clients with 3 or more of these signs and symptoms, I know that they are operating at an unsustainable level of stress.

In my experience, it is only a matter of time until something gives. It might be health, it might be work, it might be the relationship. But we’re simply not built to keep going and going and going without reprieve.

Want support to beat stress – sustainably?

At One of many, we’re dedicated to creating safe spaces for women to share what’s really going on for them and find the support of an extraordinary community.

So I want to acknowledge and honor you, right now, because whether you found us 5 years or 5 minutes ago, you’re a part of what makes the fabric of this community.

You are a part of what makes this a safe space for us to admit things aren’t OK – and get the support we need.

Want more support – along with practical ways to create change?

If you need someone in your corner, if you want to lay down the burden, if you want a place where it’s normal to feel things, it’s normal to have challenges, and it doesn’t make you broken or wrong or helpless… I invite you to come and join us in Living the Change.

You’ll get access to all the tools and resources in our membership site, plus The Hearth, our private online coaching space space. Our in-house coaches are there to answer your questions and provide support whenever you need it.

This isn’t about whining or blaming or being victims. It’s a place to find an empowered sharing of what’s truly going on and practical tools and strategies to help you to create the life you want – to get the results you want to get.

Click here to find out more.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

How to shift your energy

June 9, 2021 By Joanna Martin

How often has this happened to you? You’re in your successful woman, save-the-world, I-can-do-it-all mode at work. And when you come home, with no chance to shift your energy, you end up running your dinner and evening like it’s another quarterly meeting.

No sooner has your partner shared a frustration with their day than you’ve plotted a strategy, identified the key metrics and asked them to “circle back if they have questions”.

Or coming at it from the other direction… you’ve been really present and relaxed throughout a holiday or a weekend. You go back to work and you just can’t get your brain in gear – or summon up the motivation to even open, let alone look at a spreadsheet.

Sound familiar?

A vital life requires polarity

I’m a huge advocate of feminine energy. At One of many we believe it’s something that’s been missing from leadership for far to long! But I also recognize that there’s a time when we need to step into our masculine energy. Find our focus, our ambition, and our active capacity to move towards our vision.

Where things go wrong is when we spend too much time in one energy, or we carry over one type of energy into a setting where we really need the other one.

That’s when you get the Mum who runs her dinners like an Army exercise. Or the wife who’s irritated with her husband for being passive (without realizing that she’s already taken charge of everything in their relationship!)

Many of us have experienced the gradual blurring of boundaries lately. It’s easy to see a work email pop up on your phone, for example, or for your kids to interrupt your work if you’re at home.

So understanding how to manage your different modes is a critical skill for all of us.

The way to shift your energy

The key to being able to shift your energy to match the context you’re in is using something called a “bridging ritual”.

As the name suggests, these mini-rituals form a bridge between an activity requiring one activity and another.

Bridging rituals are short, tangible things that you do to signal to yourself that it’s time to shift your energy from one mode to another.

By using them, you can make sure that you’re in the energy that will let you be the most fruitful in any given situation. Whether that’s very masculine, very feminine, or somewhere in between.

And this isn’t some sort of woo-woo, spiritually-inclined thing! Studies done on corporate female leaders found that those who do the best have a very solid process in place to manage their energy and those areas of their life that draw on that energy.

You can use them to switch energies in the same context, too.

Maybe you want to introduce a ritual that gently winds down from playing and connecting with your kids, to bedtime. Or to switch from answering emails or making calls, to deep, focused work.

Take a note from those who already practice this!

Unlike those of us with a more universal awareness, some people naturally tend to think in boxes. When they’re in the work box, they’re thinking about work; when they’re in the family box, they’re thinking about family; and so on.

Who do you know who seem to be really present with what they’re doing?

This means that they also tend to be a little better at shifting their energy to match their setting, often by naturally gravitating to certain rituals without even really realizing what they’re doing. In my experience, it’s men who seem to demonstrate this skill most.

For instance, my husband Greg’s ritual to transition from “home” into “work” involves playing with our son in his office for a while, then pouring himself a glass of water, putting it down on the desk, and opening his computer.

So look at someone in your life who does this and ask yourself what you can learn from them and what kind of rituals you can borrow from them.

Try this

There’s no right or wrong type of bridging ritual — you just need to find what works best for you! What I will say is:

It needs to have a distinct end and beginning.
It needs to involve something physical so that your mind really gets the message.
It needs to be something that you can reasonably do every day.

And it may take some experimentation to get yours right! For one of my clients who wanted to transition out of her Superwoman archetype and into her Lover and Queen archetypes, it was taking a bath every day as soon as she got home from work.

For me, it’s lighting a different candle when I transition into different modes.

For you, it might be taking a 5 minute walk before you go to work, or listening to a certain song to shift yourself from Mother energy to Lover energy before you go on a date.

So think about what energetic shifts you need to go through during your day, and what rituals you can create around them. Remember, it’s all about making lots of tiny changes that add up to change the trajectory of your life!

I’m curious … do you use rituals to transition through your day? Or if you don’t yet, what kind of ritual could you start to use? Tell me about it in the comments below!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

A surprising way to boost your leadership

June 3, 2021 By Joanna Martin

Sometimes the things which have the biggest impact on your world are the ones you least expect. That’s certainly what I discovered when I stumbled on a surprising way to boost your leadership. It’s something you might be inclined to dismiss as “frivolous” or “unnecessary” but for me, quite the opposite was true. So read on with an open mind!

A couple of years back, our family needed to move house unexpectedly. With two small kids and a business we run from our home, the upheaval was pretty intense. After the move, I found I really wanted to focus on replenishing my energy, making sure our community and clients weren’t impacted by what was going on, and spending lots of time with my family to make sure we were all settled in.

Decorating, arranging the house, sorting out furniture… all of that went way down on the list. I was happy with that, and if you’d asked me I definitely wouldn’t have said it was a problem.

Choosing dining room furniture, prettifying the bedroom?

I had bigger priorities.

Or so I thought…

Do you prioritise beauty?

Now you might not be starting from scratch with an entire house. But I bet there’s an area of your environment – a corner of your living room, your desk, the kitchen – that’s on that “must get round to it at some point” list.

It might function perfectly well – but it’s not beautiful.

That element of beauty is something we almost never think of as part of being a leader. Let alone think of it as a way you might be able to actively boost your leadership.

And yet, to my surprise, my experience proved different.

You see, after a period of time, it started to dawn on me that I was really finding it hard to continue to replenish my energy in a meaningful way. Knowing the possibility that I saw for the spaces in our home, and seeing them not being done was a constant loop running in my mind.

Every time I would walk from my bedroom down the stairs, through the house, to the kitchen and up to the office each day, I’d be walking past places where I had ideas, or I wondered what we could do to make it more beautiful.

It was just adding up as a stress.

And it turns out – science backs me up.

The science behind beauty

You might have heard that having beautiful things around us is supportive to our wellbeing, but it might interest you to know that there’s quite a bit of research to back this up. An interesting study back in 1984 looked at the medical records of people recovering from gallbladder surgery. They discovered that, all things being equal, patients that had bedside windows looking out onto leafy trees healed on average a day faster, needed significantly less pain medication and had fewer post-surgical complications compared to patients who had a view looking out onto a brick wall.

Since then, further research has shown that just three to five minutes spent looking at views dominated by trees, flowers, or water can begin to reduce anger, anxiety, and pain to induce relaxation in healthy people. And can even cause physiological changes on our blood pressure, muscle tension, heart and brain electricity.

Nature is so powerful that even pictures of landscapes can soothe!

And I think it even can go beyond that. There’s some interesting research done on behalf of the commission for architecture and the built environment here in the UK. The research demonstrates that beauty produces a positive, emotional experience in the observer, which enhances feelings of happiness and wellbeing.

Some of us are more or less sensitive to our environments than others. But for many of us, every time we walk through a space which is chaotic, that doesn’t look the way we’d like it to look, or that’s less than beautiful, it contributes to a sense of stress and lack of wellbeing.

Is it frivolous to focus on beauty?

Despite this evidence of its impact, beauty is one of those things that lots of us secretly judge as being a bit frivolous, perhaps a waste of time, a waste of money.

I know in my own experience it’s something which often falls to the bottom of the list. I’d be far more likely to invest in coaching or training than in the space I live and work in.

And yet I know that lack of beauty does stress and impact me.

So, one of the things I committed to doing,was just picking off a room at a time.

One of the things that I noticed, was that simply by opening up to the idea of making a space beautiful, I started to activate a part of me that I hadn’t paid much attention to: I began to feel into what I liked and what I didn’t like

“Yes, I like that”

“No, I don’t like that.”

Because, having had to ignore mess and having to ignore chaos for a period of time, I’d really had to numb myself out to what I did and didn’t like.

Can you relate? When you “tune out” from your own discomfort, it actually takes a while to get used to making choices again!

For me, that muscle of “Yes this… No that” had got a little bit blunted. So going through this process, just by picking off one room at a time, began to open up my own awareness of what I do and don’t like to be around, visually.

And I think for me, the bottom line of what I’ve loved about the process is that it has invoked and reactivated my Lover PowerType.

The Lover PowerType and how it can boost your leadership

The Lover s one of our 5 Women’s PowerTypes. These archetypes are role models of feminine leadership, that each contain qualities we can bring to different situations.

Lover is the part of us that is connected to bringing ambience and beauty and pleasure into our spaces.

She’s also the part of us that is the source of our own creativity.

She is the center of our own self care. She is the center of our sensuality and our sexuality.

And I’ve got to say spending some time with her has enhanced all of those other areas of my life: my creativity, my own sense of wellbeing and my relationship too!

As a leader, Lover is powerful and magnetic. Others are drawn to her presence; she makes everyone around her feel great.

Far from being selfish, when you can bring more Lover to boost your leadership you’ll find you’re able to create powerful connections and achieve new results.

By taking exquisite care of yourself, you open up the potential to create and connect on new levels with those around you, too.

If you’d like to discover your unique Women’s PowerTypes profile, you can do so for free with a ticket to the One Woman Conference happening 12-13 June 2021. Click here to find out more and book your ticket.

How connected are you to Lover?

Many, many of us women find the Lover challenging to connect to.

Here are two things you can do right away to begin to nurture this connection.

#1 Look at your relationship to beauty.

Is it like mine was for a time – a little bit closed down, or even something you don’t really even notice? And it’s just not important or interesting to you?

Is it something which you’re aware of, but you’re frustrated by because you feel for time or money reasons, you’re not able to do anything about it.

Is it something that’s really important to you?

Reflect on it for yourself. What, how do you relate to beauty? Perhaps you’d like to journal on it over the next couple of days.

#2 Consider the space around you.

It might be your home environment and your office space. It might be even in your car, your garden, anywhere you spend a significant amount of time.

How beautiful does it feel to you?

If like me, you look at it and it’s overwhelmingly not beautiful, then, you might want to consider doing something about it.

I’m not suggesting for a second that this has to be something that takes over your life and your budget!

But what I’ve been very pleasantly surprised by is those hidden places that you may or may not know about to bring beauty into a space. Finding hidden gems in secondhand shops, or passed on by friends or family. Maybe something you already use in one part of your home would work brilliantly in your office. Frame some kids drawings, find some plants to brighten your space, get creative yourself.

Be on the lookout for beauty.

And you might find it makes a surprising difference to your wellbeing and your leadership.

How about you?

Where do you find beauty in your life – and is it something you value? Have you ever looked down on creating beautiful spaces as being “frivolous” or “a waste of money” – or are you already conscious of the impact your external environment has on you?

I’d really love to know your thoughts on this – be sure to leave a comment and let me know!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

How to get past a big challenge

May 27, 2021 By Joanna Martin

If you’ve ever decided to make a significant change in your life, you’ve experienced it. The sudden, seemingly random challenges that crop up about three months in. What happens when life stops you in your tracks? Here’s one way I’ve found to get past a big challenge.

I’ve seen it happen over and over again both in my own life and in the stories you in the One of many community share. And I’ve come to believe that, while these challenges may seem random, they’re actually part of a universal pattern.

The journeys of women creating change so often follow 3 steps:

Resolution to change. Finally, you see the difference you are called to make!
Beginner’s luck. All goes well, connections are made, progress begins and then…
Challenge. Argh!

One of the best descriptions I’ve ever seen of this pattern is in the great book The Alchemist, by Paulo Coelho. In it, there’s a young shepherd boy, Santiago, who has a dream that he’ll find a buried treasure beneath the pyramids of Egypt.

He realises that the purpose of his life is to find this treasure, so he sets off, and as luck would have it, he’s able to sell his flock in the very next town for a good price. Everything’s working out great for him!

From there, he takes a ship to Tangiers, where a thief steals all of his money, leaving him stuck.

He ends up having to take a job with a crystal merchant to try to make back his money.

One of the reasons I think this story has resonated with millions around the world is that we sense the truth of its message.

The challenge is actually a sign that you’re on the right path.

While you hopefully won’t experience challenges in the form of getting all your money stolen, if you’re making a big change, you can expect a challenge to come along just about the time you’re starting to build up momentum.

This is actually a good thing.

I call it the universe testing your resolve.

It might not always feel like testing; in fact, it often just feels like real life is causing serious, legitimate problems and you just can’t do what you were going to do.

Of course, there is no denying the reality of what’s happening. But there’s another way of looking at them that can help you approach the challenge you’re facing in a different way.

What if you looked at your challenge as the universe asking for a sign of your commitment to your goals?

How would that shift your approach?

So how do you get past a big challenge?

Here’s where things get a bit tricky. When we need to get past a big challenge many of us instinctively take one of two options:

Push on. Grit our teeth and bash our way forwards, no matter the toll it takes on our wellbeing or our loved ones
Give up. Take the challenge as a sign that actually, it’s not time to pursue this change.

What if there was another way?

In my experience, when obstacles come your way, you need to find harmony.

Not doggedly active, nor resignedly passive.

A balance between opposites and a flow where you’re alternating between those different kinds of energy.

This might happen as a weekly cycle, or even a daily cycle, but the key is not to get stuck in either state.

So let’s look at how this plays out in a four step strategy.

Step one: reconnect with the vision.

As soon as one of those challenges comes up, you need to find some time for yourself. Anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour of quiet, uninterrupted time will do.

In this time you’ve created for yourself, get reconnected with your original vision. Think about the intention and get really clear about what it is. Do you want to make time to be a fantastic mother? Do you want to have a sense of energy and vitality every day? What does your big picture vision feel like, smell like, taste like … really engage with it in your feminine energy.

Step two: list out the obstacles.

Now write down all of the obstacles that are making it hard to act on that vision right now. And remember, you’ll often get challenges crossing over from different areas of your life. You can have an intention around your work life get derailed by your home life; you can have an intention for your physical self get derailed by an emotional challenge — you see how it works.

Optional interlude

Before you move on to step three, if you’re feeling tired you really need to replenish your energy. You can’t really wholly connect with your body if you’re at the end of your tether, so pause the process and take a bath, go for a walk, put on some music and dance, or take a nap if you need to. Do whatever you need to do to be able to get into your body.

Step three: Relax

When you’re replenished and ready, take a moment to let go, get very present and relax down into your whole body, because that’s what’s going to help you get the answers you need for the next step.

Step four: consider the obstacles and listen to your body.

All right. You’ve written out your obstacles and you’re really centred into your body. Now, from a place of deep listening, look at each of the obstacles. Feel into your body and ask your body, “Is it time to persist on my vision in relationship to this obstacle or is it time for me to yield? Should I be harnessing my masculine energy to push through this, or should I be yielding into it?”

It might sound strange. What do I mean “listen to your body?”.

The key is – you’re not trying to think your way through this challenge. You’re not writing a list of pros and cons, you’re not strategising, you’re simply feeling.

Try it and see what happens. The answers might surprise you!

Sometimes your body will say, “You’ve got enough energy right now to push through! Okay, you didn’t sleep great last night, but right now would be a fantastic time to call up that client! I say go!”

And other times, your body might say “You should not get on the phone to the client. You’re gonna kill the deal. Go and have a sleep.”

So go through all of your obstacles separately, and by the end you’ll have your next steps for how to deal with each of them, whether that’s to move forward or to yield. Then commit to taking each of those steps to your coach, to the One of many community, or to another source of accountability in your life.

It’s a simple process … but extremely powerful.

Do you need to get past a big challenge?

Have a go — and let me know how it works out in the comments!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

Become One of many women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.