Joanna Martin

How to feel more awake and energised

January 16, 2020 By Joanna Martin

Want to feel more awake and energised? When you’re feeling sluggish and exhausted, it can be challenging to know where to begin. If you’re at the point where you’re ready to make change but nothing seems to ‘stick’, it can feel especially frustrating. You want to spring out of bed instead of dragging yourself up every morning. But how can you make change when you feel as though you’ve got lead weights attached to your feet? Where do you start, and how do you keep going?

Here are 3 ways to feel more awake and energised

#1 Track your energy

If you’re feeling exhausted and run down, the last thing you might feel like doing is noticing just how tired you are. But before you start throwing things at the screen, let’s slow down a little. Observing how your energy changes over the course of the day, the week or the month doesn’t mean you’re resigning yourself to things never changing.

What it will do is give you the data you need to make shifts that will actually last.

After all, feeling wiped out after a day picking up your team’s slack at the office, will take different adjustments to addressing a monthly slump around your period.

Instead of feeling hopeless about why you lack energy, it’s time to turn detective.

Keep a journal for a month and track your energy levels and mood. It doesn’t have to be complicated -- perhaps just a smiley or grumpy face, and a rating out of 10 for how much energy you have.

Then, look for patterns. Do you already feel awake and energised at certain times, even if it's not as often as you'd like? Perhaps they correspond to:

Something you do (Does fresh air wake you up? Do you sleep better the day after exercising?)
What's going into your body (Do you notice a particular slump after a night of drinking, or a heavy meal?)
Who you spend time with (A friend who always lifts your mood?)
What's happening around you (Is there a work task that has you feeling like you’re flying? Maybe you can't sleep on Sunday nights because you're anxious about what Monday will hold?)

Positive and negative, start to map the ebb and flow of your energy, without judgment. Identify the main areas you think could be factors, and then you can begin think about what you could do differently. A conversation about boundaries? A health check up? A career change?

But first -- a note.

There is no ‘magic bullet’

Getting your energy back so that you feel as awake and energised as you'd like isn’t as simple as eating superfoods or taking the ‘right’ supplement.

If only!

If the fundamental issue is that you’re doing too much, too often, without ever replenishing your energy, no amount of beating yourself up or adding extra activities will make a difference.

I know that can be hard to hear. But it's true.

Making time to rest, play and enjoy yourself is critical. And if you’re slipping into burnout, that might take more of an adjustment than your inner Superwoman would like. Think reducing what you're committed to, or letting yourself off the hook for not doing everything on your list to 100% of your ability, 100% of the time.

This is an aspect of 'self care' that's often glossed over when we think only about adding to our plate (more yoga! more sleep!) and don't consider what we'll need to take away in order to make space for that. But getting honest about your expectations, your commitments and your own capacity is really important.

If you’d like support with this, working with a coach can be a great place to start.

And when it is time to make a change, bear in mind the second vital step.

#2 Start with what feels good

When we think about changing our habits, it’s really tempting to begin with a list of what we’re not going to do. No more carbs, no screens in bed, no working late…. When you’re desperate to stop feeling so sluggish, those hard and fast rules can feel really seductive.

The trouble is, over the long term that motivation often fizzles out. As soon as you start to see a slight improvement that ‘I’ll do anything not to feel this way’ feeling slips away. Before you know it, you’re back at square one.

So, as you review your energy journal, try to focus on times when you did feel energised instead of focusing on when you were most exhausted.

Was it when you’d got a proper 8 hours sleep?
After a weekend catching up with old friends?
Or the day you went outside for a walk at lunch instead of eating at your desk?

Try to connect to how you felt in those moments when you were at your best. What words would you use -- energised, vital, spacious, free, playful…?

When you shift your motivation to the way you’d LOVE to feel, and take steps to get more of that into your life, the momentum you can generate is astonishing.

Feeling good can start to become addictive, and with every boost you get you’ll feel more inspired to keep going.

#3 Take it one step at a time

When you start making changes, it’s important to go slow and steady. Remember step one? Approaching the shifts you make with that spirit of research and experimentation means making a change that feels good, and then observing it.

Maybe an earlier bedtime does the trick, and you find yourself thrilled by how awake and energised you feel in the morning.

Maybe choosing soft drinks over wine has you reconnected to the sparkle that was missing, or having a conversation with your team about the ‘presenteeism’ in your industry takes a weight off.

With every change you make, take notice of the effect it has -- and don’t be tempted to add in anything else straight away. Give yourself time to absorb the difference it’s making, and celebrate yourself for every small win along the way.

Know that things won’t happen all at once.

You’ll make mistakes, you’ll feel frustrated, you might even feel as though you’re going round in circles. And if you really don’t know where to begin, or feel that nothing you do has the effect you want, it might be time to get some support. If that’s the case we’d love to have a chat!

A frank (and free!) talk with one of the team can help you identify exactly what it is you need to focus on -- and whether one of our retreats, trainings or online programs could give you the support you need.

Click here to book a time to talk to one of the team about getting your energy back for good

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ womenBecome One of many™ womenBecome One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

Are you already coaching?

January 9, 2020 By Joanna Martin

A surprising number of women, whether or not they’re interested in pursuing coaching as a career, already use some fundamental coaching skills in their day to day lives – often without realising they’re doing it. Are you one of them? Today I’m going to share 3 ways to find out if you’re already coaching people around you, and why this could be an important signal for you about where to focus your energy.

Why coaching skills are so valuable

In the coming decade, coaching skills are emerging as an increasingly valuable attribute across industries, as well as outside of the workplace in areas like family, relationships and wellbeing. Why? At the start of the decade, a shift is beginning to emerge in the traditional priorities of business.

In 2019, Deloitte asked nearly 10,000 CEOS to state what they considered to be the most important measure of success. The top answer might surprise you: Ahead of profit or customer satisfaction, top CEOs rate their ‘impact on society’ as the most important achievement.

That’s not the easiest thing to achieve in today’s fast moving, ever connected world. A business’s impact on society needs to be led by people with a clear vision, the ability to hold steady and inspire others through turbulence and uncertainty, and a real sense of integrity aligned with their deepest values. If success is measured by wider impact, leaders need the kind of deep support that coaching brings. Their legacy will be defined not only by their financial acumen or management ability, but by their clarity of purpose and vision. Their ability to respond to global events and social shifts, with discernment and integrity. And that’s the kind of support trained coaches have the skills to provide.

A second key trend comes as ‘Generation Z’ — our current 16-25 year olds — enter the worksplace. By 2030, they’re estimated to make up almost 33% of the global workforce. And their priorities, as Dan Schawbel, research director at Future Workplace writes, are not what we might assume

“This digital generation, primarily relying on technology to communicate, suffers from anxiety. Thus, Gen Zers are looking for leaders who are trusting, support their needs, and express care for them as humans – not just employees. Focusing on Gen Zers human needs will be the best way to address their workplace needs.”

The ability to set a clear vision and purpose, and to support the human needs of employees, ask for a new kind of leadership to emerge. One that will be fostered by the kind of coaching skills many of us take for granted. In this short video, I share 3 signs that you might already be coaching — and what you should be aware of if you are.

Are you already coaching without knowing it?

If you’re already coaching…

If you’re currently coaching without realising it, or are practicing as a coach and want to develop your skills further to reflect these emerging trends in business, it’s clear that the world needs your talent. And when it comes to equipping yourself with the most up to date tools to enhance your impact, I share what you need to know in a free online workshop: The Secret to Coaching Women.

.Click here to register and find out more.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

Become One of many™ womenBecome One of many™ womenBecome One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

The most important question to ask yourself

January 2, 2020 By Joanna Martin

The most important question to ask yourself if you want to create change might not be what you think. Most of us focus on what it is we want to DO. But there’s a shift that needs to happen before we take any kind of action. One that makes all the difference to how effective an impact we can have. And I realise just how much this one question matters, one ordinary morning towards the end of 2019, in the most unexpected setting…

Looking back…

My local café is playing back to back classics from 25 years ago. These were the tunes that accompanied me around my first GAP year tour around Europe.

Green Day, The Beautiful South, Sinead O’Connor…

What are the tunes which take you back?

What song, when you hear it on the radio, transports you through time to a moment decades ago – maybe being driven up to university, dancing with friends on a night out, wracked with adolescent angst in a room with the curtains drawn…

Because, hearing that music, I’m forced, and I mean FORCED, to reflect back on what has happened over those 25 odd years.

(Trust me – I’m trying to do a completely different job right now – but the power of music is hard to ignore.)

What have you achieved over the past decade or two?

Started another business. Succeeded. Got married. Tried to have a baby. Had palpitations. Had a miscarriage. Stopped. Re-assessed. Learned to sail. Got pregnant. Had a baby. Started One of many. Moved to the English countryside. Met great friends. Grew what’s becoming a movement. Started another business with one of my best mates. Had another baby at home in the bath, all 10lb 14oz of her. Impacted a load of lives. Went to Necker Island and met presidents, business mavens and human rights leaders. Sang carols in my loungeroom with my friends.

I’ve done A LOT of awesome in the last 25 years.

Goodness.

But what I’m MOST present to listening to these old tunes is that WHO I AM is so different to who I was then.

Indeed who I am is different to who I was 10 years ago. Five years ago.

Dammit, who I am today is different to who I was 1 year ago!

And I think that’s because throughout my life I’ve asked myself the same question over and over.

If I want to do x, then WHO do I need to BE?

You see, the me of twenty five years ago? You probably wouldn’t recognise her.

Perhaps the one thing we still have in common is that she cared, deeply and passionately, about the world around her. I still do.

But almost everything else: how we approach life, how we decide what to do, how we show up in relationship with friends, family, colleagues… all of that is different.

How about you?

When you think about the difference you need to make, have you ever asked yourself that question?

Or have you tended to get caught up in the far more common one: “What do I need to do?”

When I look at the challenges the world is facing, I see so many things that will require our energy, commitment and passion to solve.

In our society as we grapple with inequality, injustice and intolerance.

As a planet, wondering what impact climate change, artificial intelligence, and our ever more connected society will have.

And as stewards to the next generation, wondering what on earth they need to know to thrive and find joy in the coming decades.

Today, I think perhaps the answers might lie in asking the right question.

Not what do we need to DO.

But who do we need to BE?

It’s the only way I can credit the big changes I’ve been able to make. And it’s something I think we could all do with reflecting on more as we set goals.

What is it you want to achieve in the coming year? How are you ready to change?

Start by asking yourself that simple question, and you might find the key to many of your challenges, dreams and ambitions.

Find out who you need to be

This important question is just one of the ways you can set yourself up for success in the coming months. To find out how to turn it into results, join me tomorrow for a LIVE interactive workshop.

You, me and hundreds of other women round the world gathering to get clear on the future we want to create, and how we can make it happen.

Click here to join us.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

How to make a fresh start

December 26, 2019 By Joanna Martin

At the end of the year, decade, or even the week, we have an opportunity to draw a line under what has and hasn’t happened. We draw a line under what was before… and get ready for what’s about to come. Trouble is, most of us aren't actually clear on how to make a fresh start and create change that really sticks.

If you want to make a truly effective commitment to change in any form, read on to understand how to make a fresh start that lasts.

Happy new year?

New year is probably the most potent experience of this opportunity – when we collectively experience that looking back/looking forward feeling. Trouble is, we tend to arrive there bloated and fed up after a holiday of overindulging, in the company of those who don’t always bring out our best.

Maybe you feel it on your birthday – that sense of a year passing. Who hasn’t felt that moment of “Oh god – I thought I’d be WAY more sorted by now!”?

Regardless of how “together” we look on the outside, or how much success others tell us we’ve had. That little voice which whispers “You should have done more / earned more / been better” can be a pesky one to get rid of.

A time of opportunity

At these times we have an opportunity to set our course for what’s to come. But all too often, we go about it in a way that sets us up to fail.

It’s not about how you frame what it is you want to do in the coming months.

Some of us make resolutions.

Some us avoid them at all cost.

What we rarely do is make the time to what needs doing at these moments.

Clearing out, learning from and releasing what's past – whether it’s the year, decade, quarter or week. SO that we can ACTUALLY create some NEW intentions.

Not reactionary promises rooted in guilt, that will result in us feeling like we’ve let ourselves down all over again!

Thinking and thanking

If we choose to, we can experience this “fresh start” at the beginning of every day. And one way I set myself up to do that is to do a simple exercise at the end of the day that’s gone before.

(See a theme emerging here? It’s how we end what’s past that’s often the missing piece of our good intentions!)

The process is as simple as it sounds.

First, I think back over what’s happened. The good, the bad, the mess ups, the moments of serendipity. I try to reflect on it all, honestly and

And I give thanks in my heart for the good things – the coincidences, the people who’ve helped me. In doing that, I choose to focus on the positives, rather than dwell on the things that didn’t go well.

I'm not alone. Amanda Nguyen is the founder of Rise, a social movement accelerator that fights for sexual assault survivors’ rights, she’s written 27 laws that have helped 72 million people. She’s been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. So this is a woman who knows a thing or two about being effective.

She says:

“Every night, I text my girlfriends five things I’m grateful for, and they share five things they’re grateful for, too. It’s really helpful. It’s a meditative practice. Even if things aren’t great, you always have something to be grateful for.”

It’s a weekly practice in our team meetings, too. Every member of the team shares a “win” from the previous week, as well as acknowledging someone else for their contribution. It’s one way we consciously foster gratitude and focus on our positives as well as the inevitable challenges we come across.

Where to start?

As well as thinking and thanking, try spending some time really digging into what you've experienced and what you might be able to learn from it.

Here are some prompts which you can use in your journal to begin to reflect and let go on what’s passed. You can reflect on any period of time – a year, a week, a decade. Just let the memories and ideas flow, without censoring them.

Where were you twelve months ago? What was worrying you then? What was your biggest goal?
What lessons have you learned?
How did you learn them?
What did you do for the first time this year?
What would you be happy to do for the last time?
What change are you ready to create?

Take a moment to celebrate everything you've been through. The successes, the challenges, the unexpected curveballs. You've made it to today – and the future is filled with possibility.

Want some support?

Our BeOne group is an extraordinary community – and it’s the perfect place to share what you’re grateful for, the challenges you've overcome, and the lessons you've learned.

If you’d like some support and tips on how to turn this reflection into action, this Tuesday 31st December I’ll be hosting a live session in the group, all about how to release the year that’s gone.

We’ll be reflecting on what’s passed and I’ll be sharing my tips on letting go of the past so that you’re in the best place to move forward.

Click here to join the group.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

The most important question to ask yourself

December 20, 2019 By Joanna Martin

My local café is playing back to back classics from 25 years ago. These were the tunes that accompanied me around my first GAP year tour around Europe.

Green Day, The Beautiful South, Sinead O’Connor…

What are the tunes which take you back? What song, when you hear it on the radio, transports you through time to a moment decades ago – maybe being driven up to university, dancing with friends on a night out, wracked with adolescent angst in a room with the curtains drawn…

Because, hearing that music, I’m forced, and I mean FORCED, to reflect back on what has happened over those 25 odd years.

Trust me – I’m trying to do a completely different job right now – but the power of music is hard to ignore.

I did a medical degree. Travelled a lot. Lost my virginity. Directed plays. Dated. Was a doctor for a time. Was an acting student for a time. Found my true calling. Fell in love – way too many times. Spent a long time perplexed by men. Started a business. Struggled. Cried a lot. Succeeded. Laughed so much my sides hurt with my family. Toured the world doing what I love. Was heartbroken by the insensitivity of humans more times than I care to remember. Burned out. Rested. Started another business. Succeeded. Got married. Tried to have a baby. Had palpitations. Had a miscarriage. Stopped. Reassessed. Learned to sail. Got pregnant. Had a baby. Started One of many. Moved to the English countryside. Met great friends. Grew what’s becoming a movement. Started another business with one of my best mates. Had another baby at home in the bath, all 10lb 14oz of her. Impacted a load of lives. Went to Necker Island and met presidents, business mavens and human rights leaders. Sang carols in my living room with my friends.

I’ve done A LOT of awesome in the last 25 years.

Goodness.

But what I’m MOST present to listening to these old tunes is that WHO I AM is so different to who I was then.

Indeed who I am is different to who I was 10 years ago. Five years ago.

Dammit who I am today is different to who I was 1 year ago.

And I think that’s because throughout my life I’ve asked myself the same question over and over.

If I want to do x, then WHO do I need to BE?

You see, the me of twenty five years ago? You probably wouldn’t recognise her. Perhaps the one thing we still have in common is that she cared, deeply and passionately, about the world around her. I still do. But almost everything else: how we approach life, how we decide what to do, how we show up in relationship with friends, family, colleagues… all of that is different.

How about you?

When you think about the difference you need to make, have you ever asked yourself that question? Or have you tended to get caught up in the far more common one: “What do I need to do?”

When I look at the challenges the world is facing: in our society as we grapple with inequality, injustice and intolerance. As a planet, wondering what impact climate change, artificial intelligence, and our ever more connected society will have. And as stewards to the next generation, wondering what on earth they need to know to thrive and find joy in the coming decades.

I think perhaps the answer might lie in asking the right question.

Not what do we need to DO.

But who do we need to BE?

It’s the only way I can attribute the success I’ve had. And it’s something I think we could all do with reflecting on more as we set goals. What is it you want to achieve in the coming year? How are you ready to change? Ask yourself that simple question, and you might find the key to many of your challenges/
Find out who you need to be

This important question is just one of the ways you can set yourself up for success in the coming months. To find out how to turn it into results, join me tomorrow for a LIVE interactive workshop – no replay, no recording, just you and me and hundreds of other women around the world gathering to get clear on the future we want to create, and how we can make it happen.

Click here to register

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

The truth about manifestation: money, mindset and miracles

December 12, 2019 By Joanna Martin

When it comes to money – making it, managing it and multiplying it – there are an awful lot of myths and misconceptions out there. From the “just roll up your sleeves and make more of it” school of thought to the “visualise and believe and miracles will happen” one, it can be hard to know what to do. Should you be learning about the stock market, or working on your chakras? Today I want to share the truth about manifestation as I see it, and bring a bit of sanity to the sometimes polarizing debate. Ready? Let’s go.

Why mindset matters

As a scientist and a businesswoman, I really understand a lot of the sceptical responses we get when the topic of “manifesting” comes up at the BeWealth retreat.

It can all sound a bit fluffy, a bit woo-woo, a bit “out there” for those of us who are committed to making results through our own intelligence, determination and hard work.

But it’s also true that it’s not only what you do that has an impact. It’s how you do it.

Approach a sales call, a client meeting or a strategy discussion when you’re feeling pissed off, resentful and fed up with the world and the outcome will be very different to what it might have been if you were feeling confident, positive and enthused.

This isn’t anything airy-fairy, it's just being in the right frame of mind to do the right job.

The truth about manifestation

From that perspective, the idea of manifesting, or creating, your reality isn’t something quite so outlandish. And the same thing also applies not only to practical situations you’re in, but things you’d like to see happen in the future.

Ever had a bad dream and woken up sweating, and shaking, and afraid? You're sweating and shaking because of something that's not real. It's in a dream, but your body responds as though it's real. It’s one example of the way your brain doesn’t actually distinguish between fantasy and reality.

Which is weird on one hand, and bloody great on the other. Because it means you can actually harness the power of imagination to create what you want. If you're focusing on the future, and imagining it, you can create results, because your brain goes, "Ah! I know what to do! I've done this before!".

It can work before a big presentation, when you get your energy flowing and your confidence boosted so that you can deliver exactly what your audience wants.

So it follows it can also work for income targets, salary raises and dream clients.

But is it really as simple as visualising what you want to create… and then watching it happen?

The limits of manifestation

Let’s come back to reality for a moment. Because whilst your brain might not be able to distinguish between something you’ve imagined and something that’s real, your bank account certainly can.

(Last time I checked, you couldn’t pay staff, mortgages or bar bills by visualisation alone… more’s the pity!)

Physical manifestation is a combination of the right action at the right time. You do the right things at the right time, having cultivated the right frame of mind, and you’re able to create the outcome. It’s a combination of both.

The truth about manifestation, then, is that its effectiveness lies in balance.

Some people spend a lot of time focusing on their energy. They might devote hours to manifesting, learning about the Law of Attraction and sitting there and just hoping and praying and thinking and visualizing, without actually putting in the work.

And then at the other end of the scale we have the women who are working, working, working really hard, struggling and fretting and stressing out about what they want to happen – and never acknowledging the difference their mindset or energy could be making.

At our BeWealth retreat we talk about “active creating”. One way to think of this concept is as a bridge.

A connection between the physical world - going out and doing your business, talking on the phone to clients, managing your spreadsheets, advertising, and Facebook pages, and all of the things that you need to do... but also having one foot in the energetic world. The area of the Sorceress PowerType, the area of just bringing your energy and your connection with all that is to your manifestation, to making manifest.

Creating and letting go

Women are gifted to be able to create from seed. Whether or not you're a mother of children, as this creator, as this receptive and creative principle, you are that creative aspect.

So, if you can bring that and then bring your intentionality to creation, there's a balance between putting your energy into it and then letting go.

Letting go of the timing and actually also letting go of the outcome.

You might think

"I would love to have my business make X amount of money per year or have this many clients or make this difference, be able to give 10,000 pounds a year to the Hunger Project."

But the approach I've found is the most effective is to say to myself

"Let this be in divine timing. Let it be as life wants it to be and let the outcome be what it's going to be. It's this or something better. "

By focusing your energy on "this or something better", you're not sitting there going, "I have to have this today. Otherwise, I'm going to be a failure." Or, "I have to have this tomorrow because otherwise, I'm going to feel like everyone's rejecting me."

It's harnessing the doing and also harnessing this "Sorceress" energy of manifestation.

Which, when it comes down to it, is simply the fact that we do create things through our emotions and our thoughts and our decisions.

We do it moment by moment, day by day. And if you can find that balance, you can do that in the big picture as well.

That's the place where miracles are made.

Curious about discovering the truth about manifestation for yourself?

There are so many layers to the way we create our individual realities. Your challenges, experiences and talents are unique, and navigating your way through them can be tough.

If you'd like help to find your path and change your financial situation, we have a whole host of trainings and programs that can help. Just click here to book a call with the office and we'll talk you through which one might work for you.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

3 Lessons for creating success without burnout… from an unlikely role model

December 5, 2019 By Joanna Martin

When you’re used to living life in “Superwoman” mode, it can be hard to stop – even when you know it’s time you learned to create success without burnout. And frankly, it’s frustrating!

Logically, we know that rushing through life, running on fumes, barely making time to deal with our basic bodily functions (gone all day without a wee again?) isn’t good for us. It leads to exhaustion, burnout, and the appearance of the parts of us we’d like to pretend don’t exist.

(The bitch who snaps at her partner when they gently ask us why we’ve taken on yet another project. The martyr who agreed to the extra work while feeling put upon and secretly resentful.)

On the other hand, we’re often able to achieve so much when we push ourselves that it can be really challenging to let go of that way of working!

Why do we stay in “Superwoman"?

Let’s start by thinking about those reasons we often find not to step back from Superwoman.

Take a moment to jot down some reasons, big or small, that stop you from moving to a saner pace.

For example:

Everyone’s relying on me – I can’t leave them in the lurch
People will think I don’t take my work seriously if I block out time for a long lunch
Slowing down’s for people who lack ambition and drive
The only way to get anywhere in life is through hard work and sacrifice
I’ll rest as soon as we’re out of this busy period

These might feel familiar. Or perhaps you have some of your own to add in. What might strike you when you’re looking over your list is that these are actually rooted in quite logical goals.

You want to be effective; you want to help and support those around you; you want to express yourself, make a difference, and achieve your potential.

These are great motivations! But Superwoman mode – pushing yourself, never stopping, and only focusing on maximising your productivity in every second – really isn’t the most effective way to go about reaching those goals.

Which leads me to an unexpected role model for female leaders I recently came across, and the lesson they have for us all about how to achieve success without burnout.

A different style of leadership

Let me describe this leader’s day to you:

They wake at 7:30, enjoying a leisurely few hours to themselves to eat breakfast and read the news. They work from bed until mid-morning, take a walk, and then join family and friends for a multi-course lunch.

In the afternoon they enjoy creative relaxation: painting, reading, listening to music, or perhaps a period of quiet reflection in nature. Around 3pm they return to bed for a long nap. Dinner is another leisurely affair, after which they stay and talk with friends for a few hours.

Then, around midnight, they return to their study when they connect to their “night owl” energy. They might work until 2am – or at busy times 3 or 4 – to write and work.

Now, how does that sound? Be honest – are you finding yourself inwardly judging the person I’m describing?

“She sounds like she doesn’t take her work that seriously” you might be thinking. Or “It’s alright for some – clearly this is a person who’s happy to be a lady of leisure, and doesn’t have much ambition in her life.”

If either of those thoughts have crossed your mind, you might be surprised to know that I’m not talking about a woman at all. In fact, this is the reported daily schedule of none other than Sir Winston Churchill.

Churchill is one of the most well known leaders and statesmen, best known as the prime minister who led Britain during World War Two. He was also a prolific writer. And yet, when we compare his leisurely daily schedule to many of our own, there are some fundamental differences at play.

Let's look at three of the most striking:

1. Rest comes first and foremost

When you might stay up until 2am working, it's understandable that getting enough sleep requires an afternoon nap.

But there are other moments of rest in Churchill's schedule too; like working from bed in the morning, or taking time for reflection and meditation in the afternoon. Rest isn’t something that gets squeezed in after the work is done.

With that long, late session ahead of him he’s evidently confident that devoting his day to leisure and replenishment will pay off. And Churchill’s quoted as sharing this message of prioritising replenishment with others, too:

"We were not made by Nature to work, or even to play, from eight o’clock in the morning till midnight. We throw a strain upon our system which is unfair and improvident." – Winston Churchill

2. Soft play is a priority

Notice that afternoon of reading, painting, or spending time in nature? It’s what we know at One of many as "soft play". Time spent doing things you love to do, not because they’re something you’re paid or rewarded for but simply because they fill your soul.

Many of us really struggle to make time that’s just for us. But Churchill’s a great example of a leader who knew that his “hobbies” helped free his mind and allowed him to access the prolific fluency with which he dictated his books, articles and leadership decisions.

What do you regularly make time for to bring you delight, distraction and enjoyment – just for you?

3. Understand your cycles – and work with them

You might look at that morning in bed, or the restful afternoon, and assume that this is a person who doesn’t get much done. But when we consider that Churchill sometimes worked until 3 or 4 in the morning, it becomes clear that this is someone deeply in tune with their natural rhythms.

You might not be someone who could write thousands of words until the small hours of the morning, especially after a long dinner. But there will be times of the day when you’re naturally in flow, and really able to hit your stride. How confident do you feel to put things on hold when you’re not at your best, so that you’re raring to go when it’s time to get going?

Soft power in action

The quintessential image of Churchill is the “British Bulldog” – a portly, dogged statesman with cigar clamped between his teeth. He's often seen as the epitome of masculinity – the great leader who steered his country to victory in a world war.

And yet these characteristics demonstrate a far more feminine model of leadership. Not female, note. Men can access this “soft power” too, just as women can be guided by a more linear, masculine way of working.

What’s fascinating to note is just how effective, impactful and successful Churchill was able to be with this style of leadership. If you’ve worried that doing things a different way might reduce your impact or curtail your chances of leaving a meaningful legacy, perhaps this might help you think again.

A note on privilege

Winston Churchill was an aristocrat, born into the elite governing class. He enjoyed immense inherited wealth, and lived on a country estate well served by dedicated staff. Although he had 5 children, I doubt that he was the one arranging doctor’s appointments, chasing missing shoes, or soothing chicken pox. And his desire to serve his country was aided by his world class education, stellar network and unshakeable self confidence.

As a white, upper class man it’s important not to overlook the systemic support Churchill enjoyed from birth. But it’s also true that, compared to millions of people in the world, most of us enjoy lives of great privilege too. If you’ve had access to food and clean water; been educated, and have the freedom to earn money and make decisions about your own life, you’re also enjoying great fortune.

How are you choosing to use it?

Soft power – where to start

If you like the thought of doing thing a different way, but aren’t sure where you’d start, why not have a look at Taking Charge?

It’s a free online workshop that will help you discover why Superwoman isn’t working for so many of us, and how you can start to do things differently.

Click here to get access to this virtual training now.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

5 ways you’re sabotaging women (and how to stop)

November 14, 2019 By Joanna Martin

The burnout epidemic. A chronic lack of diversity in senior roles. The rise in stress, anxiety and depression. Together, they paint a clear picture. Our current ways of working are failing women. But if we want to be part of turning things around, it’s not enough to point fingers at "The System". Creating meaningful change requires us to look honestly at the part we play – and when we recognise that, we've taken the first step towards changing it. If you want to support women to create results without falling into burnout, read on.

Before we dig into the ways we can unconsciously block women from reaching their full potential, I want to make one thing clear: It’s important that you don’t slip into blame when you consider the ways these patterns might show up.

After all, it’s only in relatively recent history that women were even allowed access to the spheres of education, commerce and politics. So it’s no surprise that much of our culture is built on distinctly "masculine" foundations – assumptions and habits that aren't always a great fit for our strengths. These hidden structures can lead to our biggest challenges – but because we don't tend to see them, we're blind to the way they can show up.

So the way we sabotage other women is the very same way we often sabotage ourselves – without even realising we're doing it. It’s not your fault. Most of us are only applying the things we’ve been taught will lead to “success”.

But it is time we changed that – and today I want to explore 5 ways you might inadvertently be sabotaging the women around you – and how to stop.

#1 Focusing on the outcome, above all else

Goals are important. In life and work, it can often seem that results are what matter – and it’s easy to make them the focus of our energy, whether we're supporting a client or prioritising our own day.

The trouble with taking those outcomes as our only focus is that it tends to lead to a very linear way of thinking. We’re here at point A, and we want to get to our goal in point B.

Best rush as fast and as hard as we can to the finish line... right?

Trouble is, whether or not we reach a specific goal, there will always be more to do. The next target to hit, a new priority, a fresh challenge.

Rather than focusing entirely on the outcome, what might happen if we paid greater attention to to the process? Our day to day habits and activities – how we maintain our energy, build sustainable systems, embed and integrate our learning along the way?

If you lead a team, you might think about the rhythms and structure you have for communicating and supporting one another, or the environment in which your work is taking place. If you work with clients, try asking them to reflect not only on what they’re doing but how they’re doing it.

Reaching our goals at the expense of our health and sanity is a trap many, many of us fall into. What else might be possible if we tried doing things a different way?

#2 Only celebrating "wins"

A side effect of focusing entirely on goals is that we have a tendency to celebrate our achievements, and try to forget the failures.

Of course, it feels good to reach an income target or nail a deadline. But that’s often not where our biggest growth lies. It can be in the mistakes we make or the lessons we learn that the real gold is to be found.

And if we’re only celebrating when we achieve things, it’s a small step from feeling a sense of blame, shame or failure when we miss the mark. Those emotions are understandable. It’s important to make space for your feelings.

More interesting to explore might be: What have I learned from this? What would I do differently next time? What new possibilities have opened up?

How might you support others to embrace the opportunities for learning that “failure” brings?

#3 Demanding more… and more.. and more...

Superwoman is the archetype of our times – she never stops, she achieves everything she sets out to (and more), and she holds herself to the highest standards in everything she does.

When you’re in “Superwomen” mode, it’s astonishing what you can achieve.

Maybe you’ve witnessed a client or colleague dealing with a devastating personal situation, and yet simultaneously pulling off a intensely challenging professional coup. (Maybe you’ve done it yourself).

But when we run on the adrenaline Superwoman requires for long periods, the effect on our physical and mental wellbeing is unavoidable.

Once we’ve put on that cape we tend to get locked into achieving mode: setting the bar ever higher, rising earlier and finishing later, constantly adding things to our plate. If you're a leader or manager, that "push" energy quickly filters down to your team.

But that level of busyness can become an addiction, and a destructive one at that.

If you notice a client or colleague “burning the candle at both ends”, it can be easy to praise all she’s doing. If she’s talented, competent and prolific, it’s tough to suggest she slow down. And if you're working in that mode yourself, you might be modelling the behaviour your team are adopting.

But at some point, that energy needs to be replenished.

How can you help create space for the women who are doing the most? Encourage them to take something off their plate, instead of adding to it? Model a different way of doing things?

#4 Fixing problems

Mate needs a new job? You agree to review her CV, give feedback and make a few introductions. (While you're at it, you may as well create a LinkedIn profile and draft a cover letter).

Issue with a spreadsheet at work? Hell, you’ll stay late and get it sorted. It’s not technically part of your role but you’ve always had a knack for numbers, and it bugs you that it’s taking so long.

By nature, women are often problem solvers. We hate leaving people in the lurch and we thrive on the buzz that comes from swooping to the rescue.

Trouble is, when we’re perpetually fixing problems for everyone from our team to our friends, we can inadvertently find ourselves doing more harm than good. After all, taking a challenge off someone’s plate deprives them of the learning they might have gone through to arrive at a solution themselves.

And when you’re constantly “coming to the rescue”, you’re ensuring that the decisions made around those problems are handled the way you want them to be. It might be one way to do it, but there are probably also other ways to approach them.

A more effective approach might be supporting others to solve problems. You could offer advice, support, or practical action – but let them continue to stay in the driver's seat.

How can you help the women in your world to create their own solutions – even if that means making mistakes or learning lessons along the way?

#5 Taking sole responsibility

Being responsible is a high value for many of us. We take our roles seriously and we value integrity and performance.

But when we insist on taking sole responsibility for the impact we want to have in the world, we’re blocking ourselves from accessing the holistic support our communities can offer.

If things don’t go to plan, it might be tempting to shoulder the accountability. “I messed up. I failed.” might seem as though you’re saving those around you from challenging feelings.

But it also cuts them off from being part of the solution.

How could you shift that story to “What can we do differently?” or “How could we turn this around?”

Creating that sense of shared ownership, and of trusting and valuing the input of those around you, is a very different way of working than we often see modelled.

What new results could you create if you were able to foster a spirit of true collaboration?

Would you like more tools to support women better?

If you’re curious about the tools we’ve developed to allow you to powerfully coach and connect with the women around you, come and join us for Essential Skills for Coaching Women. These live workshops are practical opportunities to gain new skills that will allow you to create extraordinary results with your team, clients or colleagues.

Click here for full details and to book your ticket.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

How to help someone who can’t make a decision

November 7, 2019 By Joanna Martin

We’re all facing information overload these days. Trouble is, that information – whether it comes as emails, texts, tasks or questions – all to often demands action. Is it any wonder so many of us feel like we can't make a decision?

Big or small, profound or banal, our days are a series of choices. All of them take energy and time, and the longer they sit on your list the more they can start to feel that they’re sapping valuable brainpower. Yet sometimes the more pressure there is to take action, the more trapped you feel: as though you just can’t make a decision.

So knowing how to move forward when you can’t make a decision is a godsend. And this simple 4 step process is one you can share with every woman you know.

When it comes to supporting your clients, team or friends, sharing a step-by-step flow to make decisions with ease can be one of the most effective ways to make a difference.

You don’t need any expertise on what it is they’re choosing when you can help them access their inner ability to move forward. And it can make a serious difference to their effectivness.

So, without further ado, here are 4 steps to take for anyone who can’t make a decision:

4 steps to follow if you can’t make a decision

#1 Identify what’s happening

This sounds obvious, but it’s crucial. And surprisingly common to miss.

So many of us don’t recognise we’re lost in “analysis paralysis” until we’re way down the rabbithole of different options – the consequences of choosing X; the possible repercussions of Y; the strategic implications of Z.

If someone else comes to you they’ll often start by presenting you with a whole list of possibilities, or a simple cry for help: I have no idea what to do next!

Taking a moment to frame what’s happening – what decision needs to be made – is really important.

Listen to what’s being said, and clearly reflect back the decision that’s being asked.

Right. I need to decide how to respond to that client’s complaint.

So you have to choose what you’re going to be doing for Christmas, and let your family know.

Sounds to me as though it’s time to make a decision about what you want from the future of your relationship.

#2 Step back – and become the Queen

Just getting that clarity is often enough to get rid of some of the panic, and move towards taking action.

The next step is to put yourself firmly in the best possible mindset to make your choice.

Who's in charge right now? We all have many different sides to us, not all of which are helpful. See if any of these sound familiar:

The good girl
The people-pleaser
The high-achiever
The perfectionist

One of the hallmarks of “analysis paralysis” is the sensation of going round in circles, listening to the “chorus” of roles in our minds and trying desperately to make a decision by committee.

But you only need ONE wise, trusted inner voice to make a decision.

How can you connect to that voice?

At One of many we use 5 Women’s PowerTypes when it comes to resourcing our leadership from within. And top of the decision-making tree is the Queen.

Queens by their nature are responsible for making lots of decisions. But they’re also uniquely able to make those choices confidently. They’re infallible, after all – divinely appointed, unquestioned, and respected.

So, when you’re finding it challenging to move forward, take a deep breath and play with the idea of being the “Queen”. Maybe even mime donning your crown or fastening your robe – by all means, have some fun with this!

What if ANY choice you made was guaranteed to be right?

As the Queen, you can’t make a wrong decision when you act wisely and calmly. Take a moment to imagine how things would feel if you believed that to be true.

#3 What do you know in your heart?

This powerful question is the next vital step towards taking action. It might sound fluffy – especially if you’re not used to consulting your “heart” when it comes to big choices – but it’s actually the opposite.

When we try to predict the future, we get tangled up in knots. We think we’re being logical, rational and measured. But the truth is, none of us know exactly what’s going to happen. What we do is tell ourselves stories; and those stories can be incredibly persuasive.

By framing the question in this way, you allow yourself to let go of that “overthinking” brain and tap into a part of yourself that’s centred.

When you ask “what do I know in my heart” you move the focus from outcomes you can’t possible predict, to wisdom you can be sure of having.

Put it on paper, and you’re ready for step 4.

#4 Ask yourself, do I have enough information to make this decision?

The beauty of this process is that, by the time you get to this step, you’re in calm mode.

You’re trusting yourself; you’ve connected to your wise, infallible self, and you’ve noted down all that you know to be true.

The next question is a yes/no one. Do I have enough information to make this decision?

The answer might be yes. When you’ve looked at the situation through fresh eyes, you can see what needs to be done, even if it’s an action you’ve been avoiding. Note down what that action is – and do it

If no, then it’s clear why you haven’t been able to make the decision. But again, the key is to take action. Identify exactly what information you need – could be another person’s opinion, some facts or figures, or more data on the implications of a certain course – and take action straight away to get the information you need.

When you’ve made the decision

Celebrate! The relief of moving into action and no longer feeling the weight of a choice “hanging over you” cannot be underestimated.

Side effects include powering through the rest of your list, suddenly breathing more deeply than you have in weeks, and feeling able to make a whole bunch of other choices with ease. That’s the power of getting your Queen on, baby!

You’ll never know what might have happened if you’ve chosen differently. So don’t waste any time second guessing yourself. A Queen would never doubt the wisdom of her decision in the moment.

But it’s important to remember that any decision will have consequences. So you do need to pay attention to the feedback you get from your decision. If you’re walking someone else through this process, it might be helpful to prepare them for this:

"So you’ve decided what you’re going to do. Now you’ll get to see how they respond/ what happens next / how you feel about this."

And when you have that information, you can take the next appropriate action, knowing you can trust that you made the best possible decision you could to get to this place.

Do you want to help more women trust themselves to make powerful decisions?

If you’d like to practice this decision-making process in person, and learn how you can use the tool with others to create powerful results, join me for Essential Skills for Coaching Women.

It’s just one of the coaching tools I’ll be teaching in person at this live one day workshop, happening in London on 21st November or Manchester on 29th.

I’d love to see you there in person – click here to book your ticket.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

How to turn criticism into confidence

October 31, 2019 By Joanna Martin

When you’re on the receiving end of criticism, it’s easy to slip into reactive mode. Often, the words which hurt most have deep roots. Perhaps when you were growing up being “selfish” was the worst possible insult in your family. Or a teacher describing your work as “sloppy” has left you with a tendency to bristle at anyone who questions your attention to detail. But when you know how to turn criticism into confidence, they don’t just lose their power – they can become tools to help you empower other women too.

Today’s article is inspired by a recent conversation in our coaches forum. One of our Certified Coaches shared a recent experience she’d had of being described as a “strong character” by an acquaintance, and feeling hurt by what felt like an implied criticism.

It got her reflecting on the way this often showed up in her work with clients – and how navigating the tension between being perceived as “strong” with all its positive connotations, and “domineering” with perhaps some negative ones, was something many women face.

It prompted me to think about the process our coaches have for responding to criticism, and how you could use it too.

There are 3 distinct steps we can see happening here.

And I’d invite you to reflect on them next time you receive some criticism that really lands. It might just transform the way you feel about a wounding comment – and turn it into an unexpected source of confidence, and even inspiration, to support others in turn.

How to turn criticism into confidence

Step #1 Observe your reaction

As our coach demonstrated so beautifully in this example, the first step in transforming criticism is to start to become conscious of your emotional responses.

Simply labelling how you’re feeling is a great place to begin. Perhaps you find yourself bubbling up with anger or frustration, or feeling the urge to cry or walk away from a conversation.

Those emotions don’t come out of nowhere. And they often follow distinct patterns. At One of many we refer to the 3 “disempowering archetypes” which often form the basis of our response to triggers.

Bitch, victim or martyr – which do you tend to slip into?

Or is your reaction something else entirely? Make a note of it next time you’re riled by a piece of criticism.

Step #2 Identify the trigger

Once you’ve started to become conscious of your emotional responses, you can dig a little deeper.

What’s the “trigger” for that reaction? Was it a particular word – in this case, “strong” – or was it more about how it was delivered?

Did you feel scolded, undermined, belittled or abandoned?

You might find, with some journaling perhaps, that the underlying emotion is one you recognise. If you can recall the first time you felt this way, you might be able to draw a connection between that early experience and the emotions that arise for you now.

How can you release those feelings and break that cycle?

Our coaches use the “PowerType Release” process which you might have encountered if you’ve ever been to a One Woman Conference. But journalling, sharing with a trusted partner or consciously telling yourself “it’s safe for me to let this go” can also be effective ways to move on.

Step #3 See the wider pattern

When we’ve noticed the root of the criticism in our own lives, we can start to see a wider pattern at work. Often, we begin to notice this theme in the experiences of people around us.

If you’ve ever confessed a vulnerability to a girlfriend and had her respond “Oh my god! That’s exactly how I feel!” you’ll know what I mean.

When you listen carefully to the conversations you hear around you, or to the challenges other women in your life face, you might start to see the criticism that felt so personal to you occurring in its wider context.

And that can be a powerful clue for a way to shift those patterns to ones that are healthier and more supportive.

Let’s look at an example of this in action

Perhaps you notice yourself slipping into “bitch” mode when someone implies you’re behaving selfishly for leaving work early on a day when there’s lots going on.

“Sod you!” your inner voice sulks, “at least I’m organised enough not to be doing all my tasks at the very last minute, unlike you”.

Wow. Where did that come from? Your colleague didn’t deserve that scorn.

So you dig in. Your reaction was definitely triggered by the implication that you were putting yourself before others. Maybe that feeling that you should always be giving, not taking, is a pattern you inherited as a child, when your mum was vocally critical of the “selfish” choices of a family member she disapproved of.

But rationally, you know there was nothing wrong with your decision. And when you take a step back, you start to notice how many women struggle with putting themselves first.

Is taking time to look after your own needs something that you see your peers and colleagues struggle with? How can you begin to discuss that more openly, and help each other model a different way of being?

When you’re able to consider why criticism stings, and find ways to release what’s at the bottom of it, you begin to tap into an extraordinary confidence. You start to become curious about your responses, rather than squashing them down or ignoring them.

And when you know how to transform criticism into confidence, it can be a vital clue to the impact that’s uniquely yours to have on the women around you.

Want to help create more confident women?

Our coaching methodology at One of many contains a wealth of tools to help you, and the women you work with, identify challenges and move past them – from learning how to listen effectively, to identifying your biggest personal and professional challenges, and releasing emotions with ease.

If you’re curious about how they work in practice, and would like the chance to experience them for yourself so that you can apply them in your own world, join us for Essential Skills for Coaching Women.

We’re hosting two one-day workshops in London and Manchester, and I’d love to get to meet you in person at this interactive and experiential training.

Tickets start at just £67, and seats are strictly limited. To reserve yours, click here to book now.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.