One of Many

Woman looking to create change

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Banish busy: How to manage time and stress less

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

The number one mistake that most women make in the interest of time management is aiming to be able to do more in the hours they have. It’s this idea of being more “productive” that’s started to seem like the most important goal of time management. When what we really need to learn is how to manage time and stress less – so that, instead of making the treadmill run faster we’re actually stepping off it all together.

You see, productivity starts with this assumption that we’re almost like machines – we can be relied upon to produce a certain amount of “output” each day. It’s looking at what we produce as though it can be controlled in a linear fashion. No surprise that it’s a concept that first gained traction during the industrial revolution, when machines began to be brought in to complete work.

But we’re not machines, and that’s why I avoid thinking about productivity altogether.

Which sounds wonderful, doesn’t it, only – you still need to be able to get things done, right? You have targets to hit, revenue to generate if you’re in business, people to manage. Maybe a family to get to places on time.

And though it might be lovely to say to your boss “Sorry, I’m letting go of the concept of productivity”, the reality is it won’t quite wash when it comes to having the impact you want.

So what I want to share today is a different way to look at this which means that you’re not blocking your own effectiveness, you’re simply changing the lens through which you look at it.

Time management – the old way

So let’s start with the way most of us have been taught to think about managing our time. It’s kind of like a jigsaw puzzle. You might look at your week and figure out you have 8 hours a day to complete a set of tasks. And when you try to be more productive, you’re seeing how many tasks you can slot into those 8 hours.

Secondary to that, is your own energy and wellbeing. How stressed you are, that kind of thing.

Once you’ve plugged in all the things you want to get done (there’s usually a lot more of them than would realistically fit into that time, but most of us kind of pretend that’s not true) then you think about your energy.

At a push, you might schedule in things like gym sessions or doctor’s appointments. But fundamentally, your rest and replenishment gets fitted in around the “Important Stuff”.

And so, the inevitable happens. Things take longer than planned. Meetings get moved; projects get delayed; computers crash and mistakes happen.

(Life, in other words).

But because the focus is on managing time, it’s the rest and replenishment that gets shunted over to make way for all that “Productive” work.

The result? Well, the statistics speak for themselves. We’re 60% more likely to suffer from job-related stress than men; our happiness is declining and our rate of burnout is far too high.

A different way to frame your time

I prefer for us, especially as women, to focus not on productivity, but on becoming more fruitful. “Producing an abundant growth, as of fruit”, that’s the definition.

We need to develop a relationship with ourselves, our bodies and our energy levels that we can know when to expect fruit from ourselves and when we need to regenerate, replenish.

We need to shift from productive to fruitful – and there’s several different things that I want you to think about as we do this.

Productivity was about work. Fruitfulness is about tapping into magic. That’s how I want you to start thinking about creating results, shifting out of hard work and looking for opportunities to move into magic, finding the easy way through .

Now if you’re thinking “magic’s all well and good, Jo, but how does that help me meet the deadline that’s just landed in my lap?”, here’s the key:

I want you to shift out of focusing on time and instead focus on energy.

Imagine if, when you planned your time, you focused not on how much you could get done but on how you could give yourself optimum energy on any given day. Building in the walks, the movement, the time to restore yourself.

Think about how much more effective – not productive, but truly effective – you would be if every moment you spent you were working at your optimum energy.

  • If when you had time with the family you were 100% switched off and connected.
  • Or when you came to go to an important meeting, you felt rested, energised and full of ideas.
  • Or when you needed to blast through a bunch of admin you could be laser-focused and decisive

Finding a new way of doing things

It’s not about time management, it’s about energy management.

Which means it’s time for us to stop pushing through. Pushing through doesn’t serve anyone, it just gets you to breakdown faster and more efficiently. And that’s not what we want!

Instead we want to focus on replenishing, understanding our cycles, and knowing when it’s time to replenish.

Rather than assuming we can say yes to life and everyone and everything, we need to learn how to say no effectively, gracefully and with ease.

Rather than focusing on achievement all the time I’m going to invite you to start to focus on the journey.

Rather than having a linear perspective on your energy which is a very masculine paradigm or even mechanistic paradigm, it’s time we discovered the true power of our cyclical nature.

Doesn’t that feel different?

How to start when you’ve got no time

When you’re totally busy and swamped with tasks, getting the breathing space to rethink your approach is your number one priority.

If you’re feeling frazzled and run down, then the best place to start is by taking a look at the Overwhelm First Aid kit.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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How to support a friend with burnout

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Research from Montreal University earlier this year revealed once more something most of us are anecdotally aware of: women are far more likely to suffer from work-related burnout than men. Even if burnout hasn’t affected you directly, you’re almost certain to come across a woman experiencing it at some point: whether it’s your sister, your cousin, your old school friend or that colleague who never stopped working (until she had to).

So when it strikes, how can we make a difference to the amazing women around us who find themselves at the point of burnout? Are there things we can say or do to help support each other and avoid getting to it in the first place?

It’s worth noting that if someone you know is having more serious challenges, or isn’t being supported in any other way, it’s important for them to receive appropriate help. That might mean talking to their GP, accessing Occupational Health support via work, or contacting a professional who’s equipped to give them the support they need.

But outside of that, woman to woman, there’s an awful lot you can do to make a real difference to someone who’s struggling. Here are 5 places to start:

  1. Listen

I mean, really listen. Not while you’re scrolling through Facebook; not while you’re ‘just finishing this one email’. Turn off your devices, go somewhere quiet if you can (or use headphones if you’re on your mobile!) and give your friend the space to talk about what’s going on. In our Women’s coach training, we call this “devoted listening” – and it’s such a powerful thing to do.

For lots of us, resisting the urge to dive in with suggestions can be challenging. When we’re used to solving problems, from sales strategy to screaming toddlers, we can find ourselves locked in “solution” mode.

But feeling heard and acknowledged is a really important part of fostering true relationship, and in allowing each other to connect to our own wisdom.

So make some time to listen, and allow your friend to share exactly what’s happening for them, without interruptions.

2. Practice observation

When you’re talking to someone who’s going through burnout, it’s really important to give them space to talk. What can also be helpful is to get curious – put yourself in “observer” mode. Your aim isn’t to interrogate or criticise them, but you can gently reflect back what you’re noticing or hearing.

For example, you might notice that as they talk they’re repeatedly referring to times when they dropped everything to deal with someone else’s emergency.

Lovingly pointing that out, without emotion or judgment – “It sounds as though you’re often having to chair the team meeting at the last minute when Fred can’t make it” rather than “God, Fred’s always letting you down isn’t he?” – can be a really respectful way to help them connect to their own guidance.

The other important thing to bear in mind is our tendency to want to help others, which can often come in the form of “rescuing” them from a situation by taking it on ourselves.

Needless to say, adopting their stress as your own won’t help either of you. Powerful listening and gentle reflection of what’s happening is the most compassionate way to get truly present to what’s happening, without disempowering or patronising.

3. Signpost where you can

As your friend talks, it may become clear that there’s somewhere they could access more help from.

Maybe they’re finding it hard to stand up for themselves and set boundaries; they could really do with someone to delegate household chores to, or they’re in need of an amazing PA to share some of the business load with them.

When you’re in the thick of things, just looking for a solution can feel like a mountain to climb. With their permission, ask if there’s anything you can do to help them find the support they need.

Be specific – “Would you like me to find the phone number of a local cleaner who could pop in for an hour a week?”, for example, or “Shall I ask my amazing accountant to email you about setting up a meeting?”

Your aim isn’t to add more things to your friend’s to-do list – and if what she needs is time to rest and do nothing, it’s really important to respect that. But if you can help her connect to the support that could really make a difference, you might find that’s the greatest gift you can give.

4. Come back to Love

The 5 Women’s PowerTypes™ are our guides to stepping into our uniquely female leadership – and Mother is the PowerType that’s most compassionate and caring when it comes to the people in our lives.

Healthy Mother energy is able to hold unconditional love for those close to us (without depleting herself or moving into self-sacrifice.)

That means letting your friend know you’re there for her, you value her, and you love her just as she is – no matter how she’s feeling, or what she thinks she’s failed at.

It’s also important to remember to take time to replenish yourself. If you’re taking care of someone in your life, it can be emotionally exhausting, so make sure you give yourself space to fill up and restore your energy.

It will enable you to be the best support possible for them as they move out of burnout and back to healing.

5. Help them stop it happening again

Many women in our community describe burnout as a wake up call – and a catalyst for them to make changes in their life to stop it happening again.

When the time is right, helping your friend to explore the lessons a challenging experience has brought them, and reassuring them that they’re not alone in having gone through it, can be a really kind thing to do.

Whether it’s shifting careers, balancing responsibilities or restoring healthier boundaries, knowing we’re supported by others has a huge impact on our recovery, resilience and ability to thrive after a setback like burnout.

Are you a natural helper?

If you’re a born supporter who loves helping women get their mojo back after a challenge, or be kind to themselves during times of stress or burnout, have you ever considered becoming a coach?

Coaches help women with all kinds of challenges – overwhelm and burnout are just one of them – and training to provide this kind of support can lead to an incredibly rewarding career if you enjoy interacting with and empowering other women.

You can find out more about our Coaching Certification program by watching our free online training, The Secret To Coaching Women – click here to book your spot.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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The difference between goals and dreams

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

What’s the difference between goals and dreams? Are they simply different words for talking about what’s essentially the same thing, or is there a distinction between them when it comes to creating the future you want?

The language you use to describe what you’re doing matters. Knowing what your aim is can give you access to different tools and behaviours that can help you get to where you want to go.

But first, let’s get clear on what we mean when we talk about these two concepts.

The difference between goals and dreams

Goals are commonly used in a work context, or when we’re talking about something specific.

You might have come across the acronym SMART used when talking about goal setting. There are variations on what the different letters stand for, but an often-accepted definition is:

  • Specific
  • Measurable
  • Achievable
  • Realistic
  • Time-sensitive

Examples of goals might be…

Run 5km by October

Increase business profits by 50% this quarter

Teach my daughter to tie her shoelaces independently by the time she starts school

Dreams, on the other hand, tend to have a more abstract feel to them.

They might not be something you can write down or describe in words – your dream might be an image, a feeling or a very broad idea of something you would like to experience in your future.

Your dream might be…

To have my own business doing work I love

To travel somewhere adventurous

To feel true soul connection to my partner

Why distinguish between goals and dreams?

The difference between these concepts is pretty clear, then. While a goal is something that’s straightforward to describe and plan for, a dream is something less tangible. You’ll know when you get there, but you might not have a clear sense of exactly when that will be or what the steps are for you to achieve it.

Many of us have been brought up in a society where goals are considered to be superior to dreams.

Perhaps you were told by a teacher or a parent that you “daydreamed” too much, or that you needed to make your dreams more concrete.

In the workplace, we’re often encouraged to set realistic, measurable targets – and of course, it makes sense to be able to define when we’ve achieved certain outcomes and to be able to track our progress.

But does that really make dreams inferior?

Dreams vs. goals: The PowerTypes insight

The 5 Women’s PowerTypes™ are powerful role models of female leadership that enable us to access our inner resources and step into our most powerful selves.

When it comes to goals and dreams, we see two PowerTypes come to the fore: The Queen and the Sorceress. Here’s how they can help you get clear on what you’re aiming for.

Setting goals with the Queen

Call to mind an archetypal queen: serene, regal and authoritative, she steers her realm by making decisions for the good of all. Queen is the PowerType we call on when it’s time to set clear goals that will define our activities over a period of time.

Just as the Queen of a kingdom manages her resources, setting clear priorities for her court, her army and her treasury, so you can use your own Queen energy to guide your decisions.

You might choose to set boundaries in service of your goal – for example, agree that your partner will take care of the evening chores three nights a week so you can make progress with your running schedule.

The Queen is a powerful decision maker; she trusts her intuition but she also takes advice from her wise counsellors. So if your boss suggests that your goal of doubling your team’s sales figures isn’t a realistic one, you’ll take their advice into account. And your big vision and sense of clear-eyed certainty will motivate others around you to lend their energy to help your goal.

Dreaming with Sorceress

Sorceress is the PowerType we turn to when it’s time to dream.

It’s important to note that no one PowerType is prioritised over the others, so your connection to your Sorceress is in no way more or less important than your Queen. Instead, we recognise the need to be able to draw on the PowerType that’s most appropriate for what we’re trying to achieve in any given moment.

The ability to dream, to intuit and to feel what might be possible for the future is absolutely as important as your capability for planning and preparing for goals.

The Sorceress “feels” into her visions and is able to see possibilities that might not be open to others, or which might even feel impossible. She’s attuned to nature, and tends to spend time on her own connecting to her inner vision and trusting absolutely in the gifts or insights it brings her.

Your Sorceress might guide you to connect with a certain person, invest in a specific workshop or say “no” to an opportunity that for some reason doesn’t feel “right”.

Learning to trust these visions and stay open to the ways in which they might become a reality can be a challenge for those of us more used to rolling up our sleeves and making things happen – but it’s a skill that the most powerful leaders are often able to use.

Dreaming in action

Jen Le Marinel, a One of many Certified Coach, describes why dreams are so important:

We all have dreams. Some are big, some are small. Some seem impossible, some are forgotten, some are buried deep inside, lost under the pile of stuff that everyday life throws at us. But somewhere, there’s that spark, that every now and then gets fanned, and it flickers. Nurtured, it grows, ignored, it dies down…

Jen’s taken many courageous steps on the path to bringing her dreams to life, and one things she’s learned along the way is that giving appropriate value to your dream allows you to balance your efforts to achieve your goals along the way.

Once you’re on the right path, and living the dream – I mean, living by the VALUES of that dream – you’re actually already there. The achievement of the ultimate dream doesn’t feel so urgent, as you’re already living in alignment with what that dream will give you. And the best bit….when you’re on that path, the ultimate dream even begins to speed up towards you!

It makes sense, doesn’t it – there’s no point putting your energy towards reaching a certain goal if it’s not ultimately leading towards a dream that feels good to be moving towards.

And as Jen has learned, being able to dream – and trust that dream – can lead to a life that you might never have imagined if you had only permitted yourself to stick to those “manageable” or “realistic” goals.

TODAY I’m now considering some steps that could potentially lead me to my “out there” dream in a matter of months. A place I never dreamed I’d reach at all, let alone so soon. It’s not going to be easy and I don’t even know for sure that the time is definitely right, but I do know that if I hadn’t started “living the dream” a couple of years ago I definitely wouldn’t be living the dream today.

Knowing how to balance your Queen and Sorceress – your dreams and your goals – is the key to unlocking your fullest potential – and having the impact you’re ultimately here to make.

Are you more of a goal-setter or a dreamer?

Do you tend to break things down into practical steps, or are you more of a big-picture dreamer? Remember, neither of those is better or worse than the other – and most of us tend to find one comes more naturally, while the other requires more conscious cultivation.

Let us know in the comments below.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Too much to do, too little time?

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Too much to do, too little time? Welcome to the somewhat knackered club! Research this year from the Mental Health Foundation Thinktank in the UK showed that 81% of women felt overwhelmed or unable to cope in the past year (and we’re not being swamped with spa days or lie-ins). Having too much to do and too little time is a challenge we face time and again within our community and even our own team.

So today I want to share not only a few ways that we’ve found of coping with the times that you’re overwhelmed, but the missing piece when it comes to really getting to the bottom of what’s going on. So you can get off the “hamster wheel” for good.

Why do you have too much to do?

Let’s start by thinking about the first part of the problem: all those things that you have on your to-do list.

No doubt you’ve got some combination of the following swallowing up your time faster than you can glug that coffee going cold on your desk right now.

  1. Things which might come under the heading of life admin (renewing the car insurance, booking those flights, taking the dog to the vet…)
  2. Work responsibilities: the full spectrum of tasks from emails and fiddly tasks to people managing, troubleshooting, big picture strategising and planning.
  3. Friends and family: helping your parents, your kids, your siblings and your friends with the challenges they’re facing
  4. Your relationship (if you’re in one!): spending time with your partner, nurturing a fulfilling physical relationship, and making space for connection
  5. And (although this one might feel like wishful thinking…) your own spiritual and emotional well-being. Going to concerts or exhibitions, being creative, travelling, exploring, getting still, connecting to your spiritual side

Now, I’m sure there’s absolutely no need to convince you just how much there is on your plate. You know all of this already.

But if you’re experiencing the feeling that there’s too much to do and not enough time the first half of that equation is one that is worth paying attention to.

How can you give yourself less to do?

In a nutshell there are 3 ways you can get through your list: Ditch it, delegate it, or do it yourself in the most effective way.

Saying “no” and strengthening your boundaries around what’s yours is a skill that takes practice, but it’s the only way to start reducing the load that’s piled on. Ever heard the saying “if you want something done, ask a busy person”? Once you’re known as someone who always dives in and makes things happen, it’s more and more common to be asked to do more.

Say no, say it’s not a priority, say you’d love to help but it’s simply not possible right now.

However you do it, getting used to gently but firmly upholding your boundaries is such an important part of staying on top of the endless tide of requests.

Sure there’s nothing on your plate you can let go of? Then let’s look at the next part of the challenge: not having enough time.

Why don’t you have enough time to do it?

We all have the same number of hours a day. Those rockstar women who change the world, raise 10 kids, make millions of pounds a year and travel to amazing places (which they then plaster all over Facebook…) have exactly the same amount of time as you do.

Unlike our to-do lists, time is equal. And it’s also finite. We can’t create more of it and we definitely can’t get it back once it’s gone.

What we can do is learn to use it in a way that gives us more space and allows the possibility of flowing with the hours we have at our disposal instead of against them.

I want to take a second to address the issue of equality here, because although we have the same number of hours in a day, depending on the hand that life has dealt us we all have very different things to do with them.

You might be able to afford to invest in more or less help with the things that are on your plate, for example.

Some of us have responsibilities, such as being a carer, or a parent, which others don’t. We all have different abilities, different opportunities and different commitments. And I don’t want to diminish that or suggest that each of us has exactly the same amount of control over the time that we have in our days.

What I do want to do is to draw your attention to the power you do have because – because no matter the circumstances, at some level you always have a choice in how you spend those hours and minutes.

And just as you have a say over things on your list you have a say in how you spend the time you have available to you. But here’s the thing – not every hour of the day is the same when it comes to getting things done. Approach the same task at 8 in the morning, or 4 in the afternoon, and you’ll see very different results.

Which leads me to the part that most of us were never taught to take into account when planning our days.

The missing piece of the puzzle: Energy

When you have too much to do and too little time it’s easy to get caught up in that simple dichotomy: hours in the day versus items on your to-do list.

And there are absolutely times when those two things are what you need to focus on.

When you’re overwhelmed, when you’re in the thick of things, when you’re fighting what feel like urgent fires – by all means use the tools you have available to get the most important things done in the time you have available to you.

What makes our approach is slightly different to others you might have seen is that in our training and philosophy we bring in a third focus – and that’s your energy.

When you start paying attention to the different amounts and kinds of energy you have and on how that can fluctuate, it’s like unlocking a whole new area of awareness.

That’s when you can start to experience having more time than you thought. Or creating times when you can achieve more than ever seemed possible. When even though you’ve made huge strides towards your goals, you can end your day not only at a reasonable hour but with a reasonable amount of energy left to do the things that you want to do.

Maybe even the things that no one else will know if you do – like taking really good care of yourself before you go to bed; processing some of your emotions in your journal; or just taking a few moments to be grateful for everything has come your way over the course of that day.

Need a hand?

We have lots of resources to share around this because we know how big an issue overwhelm is for capable intelligent women navigating today’s world.

If the very idea of having more free hours in your week feels like an impossibility, and overwhelm is starting to take over, maybe it’s time to take a deeper look at what’s going on.

Our free training: From Frantic to Fruitful is the best way to get started when it comes to implementing this missing piece of the time management puzzle and creating more time in your week – even if your diary’s full.

Click here to signup for the session.

In it you’ll start to understand the underlying causes of that frantic feeling and explore a very different way of approaching what you’re able to get done in the day.

How about you?

If you have too much to do and too little time I’m curious. Does it feel like you have way too many responsibilities you’re finding it hard to say no to? Or is it that the hours you do have seem to slip by without you getting done what you wanted to? And I’d love to know if energy plays a part in your awareness right now. Take a minute to check in the comments below.

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When you feel like you’re failing

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Do you ever feel like a total failure? Whether it’s messing up as a mum or dropping the ball on a key work target, when you feel like you’re failing it can be tough to pick yourself up and keep going.

And yet failure can actually be an incredibly powerful tool for growth. What makes the difference is how you look at it – and what you allow the experience to teach you.

Here are 5 ways to rethink failure

1. Are you really failing at all?

Successful women have a tendency to be really hard on ourselves. We have high standards, sure, but sometimes wanting to do things well can tip into “Superwoman” mode.

Superwoman doesn’t just set the bar high, she demands nothing less than perfection – even when it’s impossible.

If you’ve just got back from a fraught day at work, supported a team member who’s going through a really difficult divorce, met some vital deadlines, and cooked yourself a healthy meal – are you really a failure because you didn’t make it to the gym?

If your failure stems from being worn out, depleted or burnt out, it’s time to take care of yourself.

Delegate. Order a takeway. Get an early night. The world won’t end, I promise. And once you’re in a better place, get realistic about everything you’ve been doing. Perhaps it’s a case of managing your own expectations, rather than writing yourself off as a hopeless case.

But let’s say you’ve rested, nourished yourself, and it’s still there in black and white: you’ve failed at something you set out to do. What then? Time for step two…

2. What have you learned about what you CAN do?

Arianna Huffington is a roaring success by most people’s standards, and she’s been really open about the mistakes and missteps she’s made along the way. In a 2013 interview she explained how she consciously frames failure in a way that allows her to grow and take risks.

“In own life, a key component of whatever successes I’ve had has been what I’ve learned from my failures. When I ran for governor of California in 2003, it was a failure—but I learned a tremendous amount about the power of the internet.

I also learned a lot about myself, about communicating, being able to touch people’s hearts and minds, and listening. All the things that were ingrained in me during the campaign definitely had an impact in forming Huffington Post.”—Inc, 2013

Almost every failure contains some lessons about what you can do well. Maybe your first foray into event planning was a total bust. Turned out you’d forgotten some key details, totally underestimated the catering, and felt super stressed all day.

On the other hand, you might have loved the process of spreading the word about the meetup, sharing on social media, and planning the overall theme of the event.

What does that tell you about where your strengths are? What can you choose to focus on as you move forward?

3. What have you learned about what you can let go of?

The other big lesson “failures” can teach us is that we’re on the wrong path. It’s easy to get sucked into an idealistic version of what a new thing might be like.

Take starting a business – if you’re in the corporate world it might seem like a dream come true to be able to set your own hours, choose your clients and have full control over your income.

And yet when you do set out on your own, there are all sorts of other realities. The loneliness of working from home when you’re used to being surrounded by colleagues. The responsibility of setting your own strategy and targets, and then having to make sure everything gets done – from accounts to tech support. The lack of boundaries between work and the rest of your life.

Failure is a wonderful opportunity to find out if it’s time to adjust and find a different course. And the relief of deciding “that’s not for me”, instead of beating yourself up for not being instantly great at something, really is priceless.

4. What’s this failure making space for?

This mindset shift is a really powerful one.

One thing I’ve learned about failure is this: you can trust in life that if the thing you hoped hasn’t worked out like you planned, it’s usually because life has something much bigger and better in store.

When you take action, you begin to build connections and flow in an infinite number of ways. You become visible, you connect to new and different opportunities, and you strengthen your ability to take action, try things out, and make changes.

To take that last example, maybe you decide that self-employment isn’t for you. But when you started your business, you went to a bunch of networking events and met some really interesting people. One of them reaches out to you via LinkedIn because they’ve got the perfect opportunity for you in an organization you’d never heard of before then.

Failure isn’t an end point. It’s a door to something different – and you have to move through it if you’re going to get there. Which leads me to a question you might not have thought about before.

5. How can you celebrate this failure?

When you’re stinging from criticism, or churning over a mistake again and again in your mind, celebrating what’s gone wrong might be the furthest thing from your mind.

But overcoming failure is often a major precursor to our greatest successes. The only way to avoid failure is never to try anything new; never to step outside what’s comfortable and easy. And that’s never going to allow you to make the difference you’re here to make in the world.

“Great people do things before they’re ready. They do things before they know they can do it. Doing what you’re afraid of, getting out of your comfort zone, taking risks like that – that’s what life is. You might be really good. You might find out something about yourself that’s really special and if you’re not good, who cares? You tried something. Now you know something about yourself”

― Amy Poehler

Whether you’ve learned something about what you love to do, or just gained some incredible clarity about what you’ll never attempt again, celebrate the fact that you tried. You’ve learned. And instead of saying safe, you’ve put yourself out there into the world. If that’s not worth celebrating, I don’t know what is.

What’s your relationship with failure?

How do you feel about failure? Are you pretty comfortable picking yourself up and getting back on track, or does the prospect of failure leave you paralysed? Let us know in the comments below – I have a hunch this is a bigger fear than a lot of us admit, and I’d love to know your take.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Guest blog: How to heal burnout

By

Elaine Wilkins

Elaine Wilkins

Founder at The Chrysalis Effect
Elaine Wilkins is the multi-award winning Founder and author of The Chrysalis Effect, first ever accredited training in ME, CFS and Fibro Prevention and Recovery, building an international network of experts on fatigue recovery. She is also a round table mentor for One of many. The Chrysalis Effect Online Recovery Programme for fatigue and fibromyalgia recovery is currently helping over 2600 people in 24 countries with their recovery.
Elaine Wilkins

Latest posts by Elaine Wilkins (see all)

There is a lot written about burnout and adrenal fatigue. The peak age of onset of fatigue related illness is people between the ages of 20 – 40, 82% of whom are women. Women just like you, who live busy, full lives with families and careers. Women who move out of their body and live in that headspace of tasks, responsibility and juggling time. Women who find they can’t get out of bed one day and say, ‘I just never thought it could happen to me’.

The 82% statistic only exists because we get so used to suppressing or over-riding the early warning symptoms our body sends. It signals the need for us to slow down via a headache, a feeling of overwhelm or a bloated gut. It is whispering the need to make some important changes.

It’s not just us, we get used to our friends and colleagues saying how ‘crazy busy’ they are, and how they long to stop but can’t. The biggest problem is, ‘out of balance life’ has becomes our society’s norm. Our bodies are amazing and as women we are incredibly resourceful, so we tend to adapt to problems as they arise and take on more and more. The difficulty comes when curve balls like a relationship breakdown, bereavement, financial crises or a virus hit us at a time when we have depleted our reserves.

Taking a moment to identify any physical ‘Early Warning Signs’ you might be experiencing and taking a quick glance at the checklist of the most common ‘Coping Mechanisms’ will be a useful snapshot of how you are taking care of yourself right now and whether it’s time to make some beneficial changes.

Early Warning Signs- Are you experiencing any of these regularly?

  • Headaches increasing in frequency and severity
  • Feeling stressed with normal workload
  • Sudden bouts of total exhaustion often before you are due to do something you don’t enjoy
  • Fuzzy head/poor concentration
  • Feeling overwhelmed
  • Sleep problems
  • Anxiety, busy racing mind
  • Bloating/ Irritable Bowel syndrome
  • Pins and needles in face
  • Unexplained pain in joints or muscles
  • Palpitations
  • Waking exhausted
  • Migraine
  • Vertigo
  • Short term memory problems
  • Poor word recall
  • ‘Jangly’ or ‘juddery’ feeling inside body
  • Struggle to cope with noise
  • Low mood
  • Tearful
  • Reaction to caffeine
  • Poor tolerance to alcohol

Coping Mechanisms – Are you using any of these to improve how you feel?

    • Caffeine
    • Energy Drinks Red Bull Lucozade/Sports Drinks
    • Alcohol
    • Anti-depressants
    • Sleeping tablets
    • Comfort eating with sugary or high fat foods
    • Screening calls to avoid having to speak to people
    • Withdrawing from social events
    • Putting on an act or brave face
    • Dishonesty about how tired or unwell you feel
    • Started a gym routine to build stamina to combat exhaustion
    • Blame external circumstances and believe you will feel better when they change
    • Take time off from work just to go to bed
    • Going to bed really early every night just to be able to get up and work
    • Expect energy levels to change on their own
    • Anti-depressants
    • Sleeping tablets
    • Loads of supplements in an ad hoc way

If you have ticked lots of boxes, it’s okay. Awareness is the Key to regaining our balance and health. You have taken your first step toward wellbeing.

Next Steps……

Gaining Clarity

1. Take some time to reflect on where you are right now and where you would love to be in terms of your health and lifestyle.

2. Notice if you dismiss what you really want, in favour of what you feel you must do.

3. Journaling is helpful to access what you been unable or anxious to voice.

Take Loving Action

Prioritise your wellbeing and seek some help and support to rebalance and rebuild your life in a way that honours your wellbeing above all else. Then you will be able to be everything you want to be in the world.

Claim Your Birth Right

Wellbeing is about feeling grounded, vibrant, and excited about your life. It’s only when we shine a light on behaviours, we may have slipped into, that we gain the perspective to take responsibility for creating our health and a life we truly love.

About Elaine Wilkins

The Yoga Retreat Reveller and Quad biking Glam-mother!

After losing her health to Chronic fatigue in 2000 Elaine had been written off as long term chronic patient because at no point did physicians look at underlying causes of her health crash. It took a 6-year journey to recovery. Her mission was set to change this.

Elaine Wilkins is the multi-award winning Founder and author of The Chrysalis Effect, first ever accredited training in ME, CFS and Fibro Prevention and Recovery, building an international network of experts on fatigue recovery. She is also a round table mentor for One of many. The Chrysalis Effect Online Recovery Programme for fatigue and fibromyalgia recovery is currently helping over 2600 people in 24 countries with their recovery. She is delighted that the first NHS GP Pilot begins in June. Find out more at www.thechrysaliseffect.co.uk

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What burnout feels like

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

The statistics about burnout are pretty sobering – here in the UK, women are 60% more likely to suffer from it than men. If we’re going to change those stats, the first stage is knowing exactly what we’re talking about: what does burnout feel like, and what can we do about it before, or if, it sets in?

We had an amazing discussion over in the Facebook group recently all about what burnout feels like. I’m talking the specifics: physically, mentally and emotionally. It sparked some incredible shares from so many courageous and capable women, all of whom knew straight away what burnout out felt like. (If you’ve been there, take a second to think – how would you put it into words?)

What blows me away is how many common threads there are in our experience. If you’ve felt like this before (heck, maybe you’re feeling like this right now) the most important thing to take away from this is: you’re not alone.

Here’s what you need to watch out for:

What burnout feels like: 6 signs it’s time to press pause

1. Burnout is exhausting

“Burnout is waking up in the morning feeling pinned to the bed wondering how you will possibly move your limbs to get out”

Yes, we’re all tired from time to time. But when you’re struggling to get up in the morning, every morning, don’t give yourself a hard time.

It may well be a sign that it’s time to ask for some extra support. If exhaustion’s a recurring issue, ask yourself if you might be heading towards burnout.

2. Burnout is confusing

When capable, intelligent women find their brains just aren’t working, burnout’s likely to be the cause.

“A grey cloud fogging my brain”
“It stops me from making clear decisions and fuels self-doubt and inertia”

When we can’t think straight, more often than not, burnout’s the culprit.

3. Burnout is lonely

Burnout sneaks in to make us feel as though we’re all on our own. Words like “isolated”, “alone” and “cut off” came up again and again when women reflected on their experiences.

The truth is, you’re not alone – this is a really common experience, and one that there are so many people willing to help you through. It’s with the support of those around you, and communities like ours at One of many that you’ll find your way back out again.

4. Burnout is constricting.

“It feels like being behind bars”
“Like being stuck in the middle of a whirlwind of panic and impossibility”

We can be so quick to blame ourselves when we’re stuck, but the truth is real possibilities open up once we’re back on track and feeling taken care of.
Are you really out of options, or is overwhelm to blame?

5. Burnout is physical

It might not have a medical diagnosis, but our bodies are often the first to give us powerful indications that something’s up.

“It feels like a metallic ‘taste’ in my whole body”
“Thinking causes physical pain in my head and I can’t get my face to smile”

For you it might be a sensation in your throat, tummy or shoulders. Learn to spot it early, and you’ll be able to get the support you need before it gets too much.

6. Burnout isn’t you

“It feels like I am not me”
“Like being an imposter in your own life”
“As though I have lost the essence of me”

When things get too much, it can feel as though we’ve failed somehow. When the truth is, these are all signs that it’s time for a break. You’re exhausted, overwhelmed, and it’s time to stop and replenish yourself to get back to who you really are.

Getting out of overwhelm

If you’re starting to notice some of the signs of burnout right now, there are some simple things you can do straight away to start to turn things around.

From frantic to fruitful is a free online training I run to help get you off the treadmill and back to a space where you feel calm and in control of everything that’s on your plate. Click here to book your spot on this powerful webinar and discover a simple but counter-intuitive step-by-step approach to overwhelm.

Another exercise I’ve found really helpful to get you out of that emotional fear-based “I’ve fallen short” feeling is to consciously tap into a “celebrating and acknowledgement” phase. Start to get present to what you have achieved, instead of focusing on everything you haven’t done.

Grab a pen and paper and reflect on what you have achieved over the past six months or year. Take some time to look back and recognize what outcomes and intentions you did bring to fruition.

Even if they are smaller in number or magnitude to what you had hoped, look at the less-obvious intentions you’ve achieved

Having done that, you’ll see that, you know what? Often what’s wearing you out, more than the actual pace, more than what’s on your plate is a conflict between perhaps what you intend for yourself – your big goals and high expectations – and where you are on your journey.

Recognizing that, you may find that you can discover a new perspective that takes the pressure off and gives you space to be able take better care of yourself and be grateful for how far you’ve come.

For me, going through this process gives me access to an energy which is forgiving, nurturing and nourishing. And I hope that you’ll be able to do the same, if you recognise some of the signs of burnout starting to creep up. Challenge yourself to be gentler. Challenge yourself to pull your goals back.

If you’re nice to yourself, you might just discover that you can be more, do more, and give more than you ever thought possible.

Feeling particularly stuck?

Sometimes we are so burned out that no amount of positive reflection on our own is going to help. You may well need professional support- medical or otherwise.

Don’t be embarrassed. This is all too common in women, and very frequent symptom of what we affectionately call “Superwoman Syndrome”.

If this feels like the situation for you and you’re not sure which way to head, please reach out to one of our team by booking a call here. We are more than happy to help you determine whether this is something that can be handled with some gentle slowing down and coaching, or whether you need to seek other professional help.

Burnout is a biggie. Let’s help each other recognise it, heal it, and shift the culture to prevent it.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Why sleep matters

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Remember when you were a kid and staying up late was just about the biggest treat there was?

Somehow you just KNEW that the most exciting things were bound to happen as soon as you closed your eyes… and you’d do anything to stretch bedtime out just a little further.

How times change, huh? If you’re anything like me, nowadays an early night and a long lie-in the next day is the gift money can’t buy.

Whether it’s lying awake with tasks and to-dos running through your mind, staying up late scrolling through social media or late nights when it just feels like we’ll never be done with the day’s tasks, these days it can be pretty challenging to get the rest we need.

Today I want to share a perspective on why sleep matters which you might not have considered.

Why sleep matters

Now, full disclosure: As the mum of two small kids, I can’t deny that sleep (or the lack thereof) has been something of an obsession in our house over the past year. There’s nothing like running a business on five hours of sleep, between two parents, to bring home the vital importance of getting the rest you need.

But assuming you’re not struggling through on a few short hours of shut eye (in which case you don’t need me to tell you why sleep matters), I want to get you thinking about this whole topic in a different way. For starters, have you considered that the way you look at your basic needs might be very different to the way a man would?

Take a look at this video to see what I mean:

Our mission at One of many is to equip one million grassroots women leaders to create the change we want to see in the world. That word “grassroots” is so important. We’re not saying you need to be CEO of a corporation, or be running for political office, to be a part of this change. (Of course, if you are, that’s awesome!).

But the women we want to see stepping up as leaders are also those incredible mums holding families together and raising kids who are brave and kind and ready to do the right thing.

The managers who take care of the people in their teams and bring humour, humanity and love to the corporate world.

Those of us taking care of ageing parents; babysitting for our friends so they can finally have that date night they’ve been talking about; setting boundaries and having difficult conversations that need to happen.

Taking care of your needs isn’t just about you

If every single one of us stepped up to be the powerful, inspiring leaders we’re capable of being, I believe we would see a bigger transformation than the world has ever known. To do that, we need energy. The kind that comes, at minimum, from getting the right sleep, nourishment and movement.

The bottom line is, your needs matter, and if you keep pushing them to the bottom of the pile, it’s not only you who will suffer. It’s your community too, and everyone who has the potential to be impacted by your unique gift to the world.

Ready to show up and shine your light as bright as the world needs you to be? Let us know in the comments!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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How to Juggle Competing Priorities.

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Are you caught up in festive “busy-ness”? – Giving your all to preparations AND juggling everyday priorities?

This time of year, women all over the world are multi-tasking their way to the “big day” feeling increasingly overwhelmed- festive to do lists, diaries and schedules crammed with a ton of extra “must do’s!”

So often seasonal tasks compete with all the other usual priorities and demands on your time, it can make the countdown to Christmas feel like it’s filled with festive madness rather than festive cheer.

It’s not Christmas… it’s stress-mas!

Does that resonate with you?

Perhaps it’s not just Christmas but most of the year. We all know those work deadlines, engagements, family commitments and relationships that can all demand your time and attention. A daily juggling act of competing priorities that makes you want to reach for the wine and chocolate!

It’s exhausting isn’t it? But…

Just because it’s always been that way, doesn’t mean it has to stay that way.

Let me share with you how to find your way with ease and grace through those competing demands.

What to do when everything feels like a priority!

So many things to do and so little time to do it- sounds familiar hey?

But, hang on sister do you REALLY need to be doing all of it?

Keys to juggling priorities…

  • Knowing what’s a priority
  • Making decisions that are right for you
  • Recognising you have a choice
  • Using the right Powertype

At One of many, we know how precious time is, how important it is to get that balance just right so that you have more time to do the things you love.

So, here’s my solution…

Ways to Effectively Juggle Competing Priorities.

    1. What is important to you?

      When you’ve got 101 things demanding your attention it can be hard to distinguish exactly what your priorities are.

      Priorities are like voices in your mind and some shout louder than others! But it doesn’t necessarily mean these are the most important- What IS important is to take the time to identify YOUR priorities.

      My tip is to write a list of all of your commitments.
      Ask this…
      Do I really need to do this?

      When you get really clear on what is truly important to you, when you see all the stuff that demands your attention, realisation dawns that you just don’t need some of it in your life!

      It’s not always easy to do but I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.

      Would the world REALLY stop turning if you stepped down from the school PTA?

    2. Set your boundaries.

      Generally speaking, as women we’re not always great at saying no!

      Let’s face it, we often…

      1. Do guilt
      2. Seek approval
      3. Think people won’t like us if don’t do something
      4. Exhaust ourselves multi-tasking to meet other’s needs

      Learning to say no is a wonderful gift; your self-worth increases, it frees up your time and you feel great energetically- What are you waiting for?

      I get it, saying no isn’t always easy. It may feel a little icky at first but believe me the more you do it, the more liberated you’ll feel!

      Saying no to others is saying YES to yourself.

      Wouldn’t it be nice to say “YES!” to that coffee with a friend? Instead of “I’m sorry, I’m too busy”.

      Next time someone asks you to do something you haven’t got the time, energy or space for- Try this “I’m not able to do that right now but this might help” or “Thanks for asking but I can’t make that day.”

    3. Other people demands.

      You’re never going to get away from the demands of others- we all have valid commitments to family, to work, to relationships, but, what we can do, is manage those demands effectively so that you feel in control instead of overwhelmed.

      If there’s one person in particular, say your boss, that’s responsible for competing priorities- try meeting their demands with this gem of a response.

      “I’m happy to prioritise this task for you right now but it will mean that I will have to place the other projects you have given me on the back burner. Is that what you would like me to do?”

      By taking action in this way you are pushing the decision back to them, this will help both of you to prioritise and leave you feeling a lot less overwhelmed.

    4. Give yourself permission not to.

      How often do you feel obliged to do something?

      This is something I’m familiar with too. A few years back I put together a package, clients had signed up and I felt obliged to deliver. The trouble was it was harder than I thought! Much too expensive and taking up way too much time.

      The solution?

      To give myself permission NOT to do it. It wasn’t working for me so it wasn’t going to work for my clients.

      Simply putting it out there energetically by saying to myself ‘You know what? I don’t have to do this’ enabled me to…

      • Find the space to come up with a more creative solution
      • Deliver an alternative programme without the stress
      • Free up my energy for other tasks

      This really great tip was first given to me by Wendy Harrington, one of our lovely team members here at One of many – Thank you, Wendy, you saved my life!

      Try it yourself, next time you feel obliged to do something. Maybe visiting relatives this Christmas. Give it a go! – give yourself full permission NOT to and just notice how energetically, that can open up new ways of dealing with it.

      Watch that stress melt away!

    5. Accessing the right PowerType.

      When juggling competing priorities, The Queen is perfect for the role. She is one of the 5 Women’s PowerTypes we work with at One of many. Although The Mother PowerType is great at multitasking, she’s a little too self-sacrificing for this task – What we need here, is The Queen, who…

      • Has a clear vision of her future
      • Knows what’s worth spending her time and energy on and what’s not!
      • Recognises her own values and priorities and can make decisions aligned with them

Now, although it’s true we may all have different personalities the great thing is that we all have the ability to access to the PowerTypes, to call upon them at certain times for certain tasks- it’s simply a question of choosing the right PowerType for the right time.

Want to learn more about how to say no? Do check out our free Soft PowerCast (podcast) on How to Say No Gracefully. You’ll find it our BeOne members area via the link below.

I know this time of year is super busy! So, tell me how do you juggle your competing priorities?

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.
We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Why I don’t believe in Procrastination

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

If you’ve ever found yourself putting off an important task then this blog is going to be useful for you. We’ll be exploring what causes us to procrastinate and what to do about it.

In my experience of coaching highly successful women I’ve discovered that a lot of women tell themselves they’re procrastinating when actually it’s something else. So let’s start with a definition.

My definition of procrastination is putting off an important task.

It’s not putting off an unimportant task, that’s prioritisation.

It’s also not putting off an important task when you’re tired. By my definition that’s energy management.

For example, recently I needed to film 3 new episodes of Jo & Co (my online TV show), I’d been to the hairdresser, I was all ready to go back to the studio but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. It would have been easy to think ‘I’m procrastinating,’ but when I took stock of all I’d been doing I just knew I wasn’t in the right energetic state to make great TV episodes. So I rescheduled, took a walk in the woods instead and replenished myself with some nourishing food, relaxing videos and an early night.

This brings me to a reminder of our One of many™ #1 Soft Power Principle which is: first replenish your energy.

I really can’t say this enough, your energy is the most important thing.

So instead of engaging superwoman to push through your to-do list when you need some time out, take it. You’ll be so much more effective and happier because of it.

From its Latin roots, procrastination literally means putting off until tomorrow.

But I don’t think using the word “procrastination” serves us at all. So often the inner critic is having a field day, and to tell yourself you are procrastinating makes you feel bad about yourself.

Let’s face it, sometimes we need to defer important tasks. So instead of giving yourself a hard time I invite you to look at why you’re doing it because this always opens up a solution. Ask yourself ‘why am I deferring this important task?’

If it’s not that you need to replenish your energy (always start there) perhaps it’s one of these other 6 reasons…

1. Lack of momentum.

One of the common reasons people don’t get things done is simply a lack of momentum. I’ve noticed this with a lot of my clients. If you’re starting a new business or are taking a shift in your business, the first thing you need to do is to get into momentum.

Start by prioritising what’s important and break it into smaller chunks so you can make a start. This begins to create momentum.

We teach this energy allocation process in our programs (especially BeFruitful) and at our retreats. It’s so powerful and exciting to witness the momentum build and burst forth into fruitful action.

2. Out of Flow.

Perhaps it’s an out of flow activity for you. By this I mean it’s not aligned with your natural strengths and talents. It just feels downright hard.

The simplest solution is to give it to someone else who can help you with the task. Someone who thrives on these kinds of activities. But that’s not always possible, is it? When I was a solopreneur I needed to do a lot of out of flow tasks. For me, it’s the detailed tasks like the figures that I find most challenging.

The way I found to do it was the batching for energy matching process. Quite simply this means tasks of similar energy should be batched together. Then you reward yourself at the end.

I used to do my figures every Friday afternoon and then reward myself by having drinks with my friends.

As a business owner it’s important to know your figures, so I still have to do this task. What I do now is use the Women’s PowerTypes™ to embody the most efficient and effective energy for the task at hand.

You can find out more about the Women’s PowerTypes™ in our program BePowerful: Unleash the real you (click here if you want more info).

3. It’s Unpleasant.

Maybe you need to let go of a staff member, have a strong conversation with a client, or a difficult conversation with your spouse or teenage daughter. None of us can completely avoid the fact that on occasion these challenging and uncomfortable tasks arise.

The best way to deal with this is to do it first thing the very next day. Or in other words ‘Eat that Frog’, the well-known phrase from Brian Tracy’s best-selling book.

Don’t forget to reward yourself when you’ve done it.

In our BeOne community you can always ask for someone to be your “buddy” when it comes to getting things done, so you have an accountability partner for such life challenges.

4. Overwhelm

Another commonality I see in high performing women is putting off things that take longer to do. Those tasks that require consistent effort get delayed.

Remember Soft Power Principle #1? Check your energy levels first. If you are low on energy then click this link to discover the overwhelm first aid approach with 10 simple steps to calm.

If your energy is ok, then take some time to break the task down into chunks to get that momentum going and schedule some time in your diary.

Perfectionism

Sometimes you might put off completing or starting something because you fear it won’t be good enough. This is procrastination with an emotional reason.

First recognise that’s what you are doing. One technique we use is to future pace the imperfection. Annie Stoker, our head coach, is brilliant at this. Basically you think of the worst case scenario of the completion of the task and then keep thinking it through to fruition. Just what is it that you are really afraid of? It’s really important to bring some humour and give it some detailed thought. Remember, nothing is ever really the end of the world!

Decision Phobia.

Are you in analysis paralysis? Wrestling around in the mental inability to make a choice, stuck on the indecision roundabout.

To overcome this try harnessing your Queen energy and just make a decision…any decision! There is no such thing as right or wrong. Just make a decision and begin moving, get the feedback, make another decision, get the feedback and so on.

In conclusion

To sum up when you feel a bit stuck ask yourself…

  1. Is this task important or unimportant?
  2. Do I have the energy to do it right now?
  3. If yes, why am I putting this off? Check through the 6 reasons above.

Very occasionally there is another factor at play. What you thought was important isn’t important to you!

In my experience of life (except when I need to replenish my energy), if I have energy for some tasks, the only time I don’t have energy for important tasks is because they’re not really important. I find the more I live on purpose and the clearer I am about my purpose, I always have energy to do tasks that need doing.

It’s hard to procrastinate when you’re really clear on your big why.

My takeaway message is be kind to yourself.

Can you see that it’s rare you’ll be putting something off just because you don’t want to do it? It’s more often than not one of the other 6 reasons and you now know how to overcome them.

You can explore all of these solutions in more depth in our powerful online program BeFruitful.

Let me know how you’re getting on by leaving a comment below.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

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