This is a guest post by Jo Douglas. 

Over the last few months, I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to be stuck in your life, and how to stop feeling stuck when that happens.

Have you ever had a time when the way forward seemed less clear, when it felt like you were busy spinning plates and not moving forward? We can get so preoccupied with those plates that it becomes hard to make decisions and that rotten inner critic takes holds. We soldier on and focus on why we are not happy, what’s going wrong, and what we are not doing well enough, or what we think we should be doing.  This stifles us.

If that rings a bell, here’s how to stop feeling stuck.

Feeling stuck?  How crafting your perfect day can help

I love this quote, as it sums the results of the above cycle up very nicely.

“Your beliefs become your thoughts, your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your values, and your values become your destiny.”

So I’ve decided to put pen to paper and share a few hints and tips on how to stop feeling stuck using a simple technique.

I’m sharing an exercise I first completed when I was suffering from depression, and was exhausted and disillusioned.

It was a time in my career when I’d lost my way and every day felt like a chore. I’d dread going to work.  I didn’t agree with what was happening, and how the organisation I worked for was changing – our values no longer aligned, but it took me quite a while to realise this.

I couldn’t see a way out and chastised myself for being weak and a failure, and for becoming ill.

But even if you’re not at that extreme, you might still be wondering the same thing I was:

Wouldn’t it be brilliant if you could take control and craft the life you want?

It is possible!

You simply have to bring it forth into your imagination, to believe, to know, and to trust that it is possible. To let your mind see what you want and to allow it to understand that you want to work towards it.  To open your heart to new possibilities and new opportunities. To trust that you can change and embrace this new reality.

You can then work to bring it into existence.

The hard part is the trusting part. In trusting we allow ourselves to move forward.

I’m not saying that just because you think it, it will happen.  I am saying that because you have seen that this can become a reality, you can move towards creating it. You can shift your focus and create “towards” motivations.

I was once told that ‘Life is a game, you set the rules. You choose the players, you choose the purpose, and the reward is a joyful, fun, and loving life’.

So let’s just take a minute to pause and think about what your ideal game would be.

Craft your day: 3 steps

1. Imagine

The best way to do this is to close your eyes and take a number of deep breaths, letting your muscles relax and all other thoughts slip away.

Once relaxed, imagine what your perfect day would look like.  Where are you, who are you with, what are you doing?   Look at all the colours, think of the sounds, the smells, textures and feelings.

Work through how you start your day and progress through to the end, always exploring all your senses and noting what is happening.

Create a picture, frame it and store it in your mind.

2. Capture

Next, grab a pen and write down everything that came to you.  Don’t pause, don’t stop to think about how well you are composing the piece, or the quality of your handwriting – just let it flow.

Here’s mine:

“I’d start my day with a gentle shower, and then breakfast.  My family is in the background eagerly getting ready for their day too. I’d venture out for a lovely walk with my dogs using that time to clear my mind and enjoy the warmth of the sunshine on my face, lapping up the fresh air, feeling the gentle support of the grassy fields.  My mind will open to allow me to order my thoughts and balance my energy for my coming day.

Next I’d take my children to school, enjoying their bright laughter and chatter as they anticipate their day. I would then venture into my office – a spacious purpose-built cabin in my garden surrounded by plants and full of light. Walking past sweet smelling flowers I’d sit at my desk – a neat and inviting workspace with a vase of open and welcoming flowers. The temperature is warm, the smell is inviting, the atmosphere is relaxing but stimulating. With a cup of tea, I would check my diary and make sure I have everything in order for the day and then start my first coaching calls. Working with my clients to help them find the peace and clarity they want in life, and then break for a light lunch.

I may go for a swim at the local pool or share lunch and a chat with my husband, a friend or a colleague, enjoying the stimulation of our conversation. My afternoon would then be free for me to focus on meetings or my written work, whether that be reports or creating new content or even updating my communications. Whatever is planned, I complete with ease – I set the tone and pace. I am the mistress of my diary and I know how to work with the ebb and flow of my energy to create the greatest results. I have no debt or worries about conflicting demands.

I’m mindful that I’m working to fund a holiday where I’ll be walking on the beach, exploring the pleasures of the sights and tasting the food and drink with my family sharing this with me – all laughing and excited. At the end of the day, I will close my office and walk around the garden to separate my work from my home life, because when I enter my home I want to be fully present for those I love. To be willing to enjoy the activities of home life and be thankful for the end of another fulfilling day.”

3. Reflect

So what does your perfect day look like?  Remember to fix that picture in your mind and write down in free flow everything that comes to you.

Read it back and then – ignoring the urge to doubt you can achieve this – begin to reflect.

• Start by underlining anything that already happens in your day, that you can build on
• Note down what you need to change in your life to allow you to experience your dream day?  Perhaps it’s a change of location, of job, a new career, a new relationship, a new mindset…..!

Now look at what your options are for making those changes.

• Write down every option that comes to mind whether you think it realistic or not.
• For each, look at the pros and cons and what the worst thing is that could happen if you took this course of action.
• Reviewing the worse thing that could happen, what could you do to mitigate this?

Now look at all those options again.

• Which is the best option to move you closer to your dream day?
• What small but significant steps could you take to start this change?
• What support do you need to move forward?

Further questions:

1. Are you living in line with your values?

Times of extreme burnout or depression aren’t the best time to begin doing the work of changing your mindset. But if you’ve come out of a challenging time and can’t seem to get your mojo back, getting some outside support could be the answer.

3. Are you in victim mode?

Signs you’re adopting a victim mindset include:

• Feeling that you’re not ‘good’ enough or ‘intelligent’ (or smart, or thin, or, or…) to change your situation – everyone else can do it, just not you.
• Blaming everyone around you for the things you want to change.
• Telling yourself that you’re being silly for wanting more, and you should just be happy that you have the things you do.
• Thinking that you are responsible for keeping everything going and that you will let people down, or be a failure, if you don’t meet them

Victim is one of the disempowering archetypes that many women find themselves in. It can be exceptionally hard to find your way out of it by yourself, so if you feel as though “victim” is sapping your strength do reach out and request a discovery call to see how I can support you.

About Joanna Douglas

Joanna helps professional women who are ‘stuck in a rut’ and feeling trapped by life’s responsibilities, to gain the clarity, certainty and confidence they need to move forward.

She believes that leadership, whether that’s at home, at work, or in your community, is more than just skill – it is about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on.

Having worked in the field of Leadership and Coaching for over 20 years supporting women to find inspiration, to manage change, and to authentically lead with resilience and joy, she has created a 7-step system to help professional women to feel more energised, to be certain about what they want to do, and how to do it, and to have the confidence in their ability to take the next steps.

Her mission is to inspire women to get out there and live the life they really want to live. To feel inspired, motivated and confident in their ability to take the next steps.

Joanna qualified as a One of many Certified Women’s Coach in August 2017. To find out more about working with her, and book a free discovery call, click here.

Ever feel like your to-do list is ruling your life? Whether you’re a tech-loving app devotee, wedded to Basecamp, Trello, or Asana – or a back-of-an-envelope scribbler, convinced that the very act of putting pen to paper helps your brain fire better – I want to set you a challenge today to make your to-do list work better for you.

You see, since we started helping women to have a bigger impact on the world without burning out, we’ve learned a thing or two about what can hold us back. And strange as it may seem, your to-do list might be one of the biggest blocks you face.

What does your list look like?

At its most basic level, a to-do list is exactly what it sounds like: a list of actions that need to be completed at any one time. The trouble is, in today’s world the sheer number of tasks can quickly become overwhelming. And many of us play so many different roles – parent, mentor, sister, colleague, leader, friend – that the difference between the jobs on our list can be vast.

Have a quick think now about what your to-do list looks like.

• Is it in one place, or is it scattered among various locations?
• Do you have a system in place to track what happens with different tasks?

It’s really common to find that we have a slightly different approach to tasks in different areas. You might be the queen of getting things done at work, and utterly all over the place at home. Perhaps you’ve got your kids’ scheduls totally handled, but your personal to-dos when it comes to life admin leave a lot to be desired…

If there are any areas where you sense things could really be easier than they already are, then read on.

Why most productivity tips fail

A quick word on some of the traditional productivity advice you might have tried before. You’re an intelligent woman, after all, and if there’s something that’s a challenge for you I have no doubt you’ll already have tried a few things.

Typical tips include things like:

• Batch similar tasks, like phonecalls or meetings, into one time
• Have a place to capture everything that needs doing
• Do the hardest things on your list first (most famously in the awesome book Eat That Frog)

What tends to happen in my experience is that these approaches work well for a bit… until they don’t.

You find yourself ignoring your list altogether, in the manner of a sulky toddler refusing to play any more. The perfectly-paced system cracks under the strain of a sudden avalanche of super-important tasks (AKA the dog’s sick, the washing machine’s broken, there’s a non-negotiable deadline and half your team are off sick with the flu).

If you can relate to any of that, here’s what I suggest.

The wisdom of cycles

First things first, it’s time to rethink one of the most basic assumptions we make when we try to plan our productivity, and that’s that we’re consistent in our outputs.

It’s so easy to look at those neat boxes in our schedules and think that getting the most out of the day is simply a matter of slotting one task into each slot.

But when you think about it, what you can get done in one hour varies enormously week to week, month to month, and even within the same day. Some days, you’ll blast through twenty fiddly admin tasks with superhero levels of energy… and others, just looking at your inbox is enough to send you into weeping, chocolate-craving can’t-cope mode.

So the first step is to begin to pay attention to the energy cycles you go through.

Step one: Track your energy

If you’re menstruating, noticing your energy levels throughout your cycle is a great place to start. Everyone experiences these slightly differently so don’t be surprised if your cycle looks very different to someone else’s, or if it’s changed from how it used to be.

If you’re not menstruating, try simply observing your energy throughout a length of time. You can do this very simply by jotting down a value from 1–10 for how much energy you have at any given moment.

You may find that your cycles correspond to the moon, or to another rhythm, or that it’s predictable within a 24 hour or 7 day period (maybe you’re a Monday morning fresh start person, or a mid-afternoon nap craver…)

Start to get a picture of how your energy ebbs and flows, and you’ll be one step closer to reaching a place of serenity when it comes to how you work.

Step two: Batch your tasks

Here’s where your to-do list can really hold you back: it looks like it’s a list of tasks that need to be done.

But what if you started looking at it as more of a “to be” list instead?

Each of the tasks on your lists requires you to be a certain way. If you’re researching something, you might need to be in curious, focused mode – and open to spotting intuitive connections among the data.

If you’re leading your team, you might need to be inspiring and decisive, and if you’re combing through your finances you’ll want to be clear-headed and detail orientated.

When you stop seeing your list as actions and start seeing it through the lens of ways of being you’ll find you can begin to associate tasks related not by type, but by energy.

You might have a phonecall to an irate client, a meeting with a difficult team member and a negotiation with your husband about where you’re going to be spending Christmas this year.

Those very disparate tasks wouldn’t be linked in a traditional list, but they are connected by the energy they require: You need to be clear and compassionate in your communication, firm in your boundaries, and open to listening to what the other person has to say.

Which leads me to the final piece of the puzzle:

Step Three: Begin to fit your “to be” list into your energy tracking

This is where the fun (and ease!) begins.

If you know that the week before your period you’re often feeling emotionally wobbly, physically tired, and impatient with “keeping the peace”, then it’s probably not the time to schedule that tricky money chat with your other half.

Can you postpone the performance review with the team member who always pushes your buttons, and make time for the tasks that you’ll be feeling more like doing?

Perhaps Monday morning you know you have a burst of energy and a real drive to start the week doing what matters.

That might be the perfect time to block out email notifications, and make progress on the deep-dive work tasks that need all your concentration – so that you start the week on your best foot forward.

Here’s how Emma used this process at the end of last year, when she joined our online BeFruitful program to gain more control of her time:

“Yesterday I was at home and while the children played, I started getting this batching thing underway. With my motto “don’t make it too complicated!” (I know my risk), I started a to do list with energy tags for some home things: preparing for Christmas and what’s needed to buy our flat off our landlord (she asked us if we wanted to – we’ve rented it for 11 years).

I then looked at my calendar, estimated the date of my next period and wrote in the best week of November to choose presents for my family, to plan the Christmas menu and to defrost the freezer to make space. I decided to negotiate a possible house purchase value with the Landlord and to organise our family finances to work out what we can afford.

I’m a physicist; one of only 8 women (and 50 men) doing my senior role, and 6 of the others don’t have children – the other who does works part time. So I have no real role model.

This has been a wonderful thing to find and I’m so excited to start using the ideas.”

Change is a constant

Of course, there’s no way you can reschedule everything in your life to fit in with your energy. Unexpected things crop up, and other people’s priorities can definitely impact your own.

But by using this approach to managing your tasks, you can begin to give yourself the best possible foundation from which to handle those challenges.

Instead of wearing you out or pushing you into overwhelm, your to-do list can become a menu of different energy types from which you can make sure you’re doing what’s best for you at every moment of your day.

Want to find out how to apply this process to your life?

If you’d like some extra support around applying this way of thinking to your to-do list; detailed step-by-step instructions on where to begin and how to put it into practice; plus our guide to the 5 different types of energy that will help you move through every task on your list with ease, our online BeFruitful program could be just what you need.

It’s the ultimate step-by-step system to help you take back control of your time and energy, and unlock hours of extra time each week.

Click here to find out more about the program.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

When you receive an unexpected windfall – whether an inheritance, lottery win, or sum from the sale of a business – it can stir up all kinds of unexpected emotions.

Along with joy and gratitude you might find yourself feeling surprisingly confused, conflicted, or even resentful at the choices you now need to make.

Money is totally inanimate: it doesn’t inherently hold any judgments or opinions. But the way we’re each raised to think about finances, combined with the cultural messages we receive around what money means, results in a potent combination of conscious and unconscious patterns when it comes to spending and investing.

Analysis paralysis is common when it comes to money

For some people, receiving a large sum of money is permission to make extravagant purchases or realize long-held dreams. For others, it can be a trigger for feelings of utter overwhelm.

Some years ago I worked with a client who inherited a substantial sum – and found herself utterly paralysed with indecision. Prior to the windfall she’d never experienced that level of wealth, and it threw her into turmoil – what did it mean to be responsible for that amount of money?

The good news is, if you find yourself unable to make a decision when it comes to your money you’re not alone. And what it likely means is that you’ve come to an opportunity to examine some of your responses and habits around finances, and reach a new level of empowerment.

When you’re able to make confident choices about money, an unexpected windfall stops feeling like a burden and becomes a delicious opportunity to make a difference in your life and those of others.

But before you do anything, here are 5 things to consider:

1. Take your time

It’s important not to feel rushed or pressured into making decisions around your finances, especially if you recognise that this is an area that you’d like to have more education in.

Acting responsibly means making sure you’re fully informed, and able to feel confident about the choices you make. These are likely to be outside of your usual range of financial decisions, so it’s completely natural to want to gather extra advice and support before taking action – and that will take time.

2. Get advice

Receiving sound, specific financial advice is really important when you’re dealing with a large sum. A good financial advisor will be able to explain the various options open to you clearly and without patronising you, and help you weigh up the pros and cons of each route (spoiler alert: there’s no “right” or “wrong” answer here!)

The 5 Women’s PowerTypes are models of empowered female leadership, and when it comes to making powerful decisions The Queen is the one to turn to. A Queen trusts herself implicitly and makes confident decisions. But she always turns to her trusted advisors to make sure she’s informed, and won’t act until she has all the information she needs.

Tune into your “Queen” to ensure you remain empowered and calm whilst listening to the wise experts you have invited to help you – without relinquishing your responsibility.

3. Know your values

Any decision you make around money has the potential to change the world. So it makes sense that knowing exactly what change you want to see is an important step when it comes to making decisions you can feel good about.

Your values will include abstract concepts – like security, freedom, or family – and you’ll also have certain causes you feel drawn to supporting. This doesn’t have to mean charitable donations: investments of any kind will contribute to different activities and themes in the world.

If you don’t know what your values are, you may wish to work with a coach or complete training like BePowerful to strengthen your connection to yourself and get clear around what matters to you most.

4. Deal with the feelings

Whether you’re looking at an inheritance of millions or struggling to stay on top of your overdraft, money brings up complex emotions. It’s tied to our identity, our sense of value, our self-worth and the myriad judgements and assumptions we all make about ourselves and others, every day.

Financial empowerment means making good choices around the numbers, but it also means sorting out how you relate to money on an emotional level. Good financial support addresses both aspects, and it’s one of the foundations of the training we offer to women around finances.

If you’d like to find out more about the support we offer to empower women when it comes to handling money – at work, at home, or with an unexpected windfall, click here to book in a call with one of the team.

5. Change your habits

A sudden windfall can be an incredible opportunity to access the education, training and support you need to transform your relationship with money. It’s a chance to think about your legacy, have an impact on the world, and set new financial habits going forward.

For the next generations, watching how you handle money and approach finances provides valuable lessons in what’s important and how we choose to make a difference.

Enjoy the opportunity to model a new way of making a difference when it comes to financial good fortune!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

This is a guest post by Helen Reynolds.

Every year, in the run-up to the One Woman Conference, the chat in the Facebook group follows a pattern. It gradually evolves from deep, open and supportive conversation about what we’ll learn, and what will be the key lightbulb moments, to clothing chat along the lines of – what the HECK should I wear for this event?

A 2-day event of any kind can be tricky to plan for. So here’s my advice on what to wear for a 2-day event – using the One Woman Conference as an example.

The One Woman Conference is unique

Anyone who has attended the conference before (and there are many, many that have, it’s such a great event they just can’t stay away!) know that there is no need to over think this question. They understand the vibe. They get that this is is quite possibly the most unjudgmental space you might ever find yourself in, and that literally anything goes.

Now, I know that this blanket advice isn’t terribly helpful if it’s your first time attending, and of course you might be planning to attend an event that has a different vibe – so I have prepared five packing tips for you.

Here are 5 things to consider when you’re deciding what to wear to a 2-day event.

1. Layer up

For practical reasons, it’s a very good idea to wear layers. Big rooms will sometimes feel warm and other times rather chilly, and if the content’s especially engaging or inspiring you may find yourself fired up with enthusiasm – or getting chills of new insight!

At the OWC, the team are always very attentive to your needs, but it’s practically impossible to keep a room at the ideal temperature for 400 women, so make like the Scouts and be prepared.

• Bring a cardigan if you like cosiness and a hug.
• Opt for a blazer if you feel your best when you are at the smarter end of casual.
• A big scarf that you can wrap around yourself is a good idea, just pop it in your conference bag when you don’t need it.

2. Wear heels… but only if you like!

Wear heels if they are your thing but please don’t feel obliged. At the OWC you don’t need to be smart, flats will serve you very well, whether loafers, pumps or trainers.

At any event, if you’re not a fan of heels then don’t squeeze yourself into them. There are lots of smart options for flat shoes that will help you stay relaxed and focused on the content instead of your aching legs! Be comfortable, be you.

3. Make comfort a priority

Whatever you wear in the daytime, if it’s not comfortable, you will be annoyed with yourself. The days can be long (in a good way!) and you don’t want to be distracted by tight waistbands or stiff, itchy fabrics. Make sure that whatever you choose is 100% comfortable.

4. Come prepared for different sessions

Find out in advance if the event you’re attending will have any components requiring a change – an outside element, or a formal dinner, for example.

At OWC the very fabulous (optional) evening activity that takes place every year (it’s the bit that everyone talks about most the next day!) requires you to be able to move freely around the room. Definitely ditch the heels for this part.

5. Dress for YOU

And, finally, and most importantly please dress for YOU. In my work, supporting women to discover their own, true style, I teach the importance of dressing for you first, then to adapt your style to the occasion. But how on earth do you do that if you don’t know your true style?

First of all, ask yourself this hypothetical question:

If you’d got the dress code wrong at any event, would you prefer to be over-dressed or under-dressed?

• If your preference is over-dressed, consider building an outfit around great jeans or well-fitting trousers, boots, a fabulous shirt or blouse in a colour you love, a blazer and a scarf.
• If you are happiest at the casual end of the spectrum, maybe try trainers, comfy jeans or leggings, a cosy jumper (with a t-shirt underneath in-case you get too warm.)
• Dresses or skirts are a good option if you like to express your femininity, or if you don’t like yourself in trousers/jeans. This doesn’t mean corporate-style workwear. That level of smartness isn’t necessary at this event, but a beautiful dress with a cardigan or blazer, worn with trainers, boots (or heels if they are your comfort zone) would work very well.

As I said earlier, what I want you to take away from this advice is that you need to show up to the One Woman Conference – and the same goes for any event – as YOU.

Not as an imposter.

Not as the person you wish you were.

Be you. Be comfortable, be real.

Incidentally, by the end of the two days, you are very likely to feel like a new woman. And you might feel ready to reflect this change through your clothes. A touch of colour, a beautiful print or some sexy shoes can make all the difference to how you feel. It’s all possible – just do it your way.

Want more style advice to empower and inspire?

If you’d like more specific style advice to help you to explore your own, authentic personal style, I’d love to send you my free video series, ‘5 Easy Style Tips To Look Your Most Fabulous Self’.

Every day for five days you will receive a short video that explains each vital element of style. By the end of the series, you will have a much clearer idea of which colours, styles, cuts, fabrics and accessories will work best for you.

You can access the free video series by clicking here.

Enjoy the conference!

About Helen

Helen Reynolds is one of our BeFruitful mentors, and works personally with Jo to put together her powerful outfits for the stage.

As an image consultant she’s helped hundreds of women to turbo-boost their personal style and develop killer confidence. Her speciality is in helping women who have lost their way with style and need a boost find clothes they love – and which love them back.

Find out more about her work and access free resources to help you find your style at www.helenreynoldsstyle.com

Karen Skidmore is a marketing consultant and business growth advisor who helps business owners create simpler, smarter, more profitable businesses. We asked her to share a glimpse into her life and work…

What do you do?

I’ve been running my own coaching business for the past 15 years. I left my corporate career as a director for a FTSE100 recruitment group when my eldest child started school and initially started a term-time only business, enjoying the flexibility of being mum alongside my speaking, coaching and online courses.

Today, I help coaches, trainers and spiritual leaders grow their businesses with simple, powerful planning, revenue streams and marketing systems. Working mainly from home, I spend my time running group programmes, strategy planning with clients and writing my second book, True Profit Business.

What’s your “big why”?

Entrepreneurial burnout is rife.

The growing pressure of trying to keep up with the latest digital marketing trends, being taught to see being busy as a sign of success, and social media feeds fuelling a false reality of what entrepreneurial life looks like, have dangerously pushed thousands into working hard on the wrong projects and using the wrong energy.

Having experienced business and physical burnout first hand, I want to put a stop to this alpha culture and give small business owners a simpler and more connected path to business growth.

I don’t believe digital is the way forward for everyone and with the right business model, processes and systems in place, more people can create a business that is playful, purposeful and profitable.

What’s your daily routine like?

My children are full grown teenagers, with one on a GAP year and the other at 6th Form College, so morning routines are fairly relaxed compared to 10 years ago.

I start my day early, once my husband has left for work at 6.30am, with quiet time, either journalling or writing. A few days a month, you’ll find me spending a day with a client, running a one-day training or mastermind day or speaking at a conference, but most of my time I am working from home, with my client calls and programmes being run via video conference.

This means I am free to dog walk and make the most of the stunning National Trust land that is on our doorstep every day.

What demands do you balance every day in conjunction with your work?

My husband is out 12 hours a day, with a long commute so the day-to-day running of the household falls on my shoulders. I have a cleaner who comes once a week and I outsource my ironing so the regular demands I have to balance is to run the family taxi service and ensure my family are well fed (I always cook suppers from scratch during the week).

How do you feel about women’s “lot” these days?

I used to feel there was a lot to deal with. When our children were younger, there was far more ferrying around to be done, waiting in various car parks until their after school activities where finished.

But because I felt I was the one who had to deal with it, I rarely asked for help and got very stressed and angry at times that it was all down to me.

I wish I had known about SoftPower types and triggers back then as I am sure I would have enjoyed my mum-life far more!

How does femininity and Soft Power feature in your business/ career? What does it look like?

Soft Power has revolutionised the way that I work, every day.

I spent the first 20 years of my professional career in Superwoman mode; I can see that now.

I was part of the alpha culture of individual goals and believing that working harder was the only way to get better results. Today, I feel in flow with my business and spend a lot of time looking after my health and day-to-day energy.

The biggest contribution SoftPower makes to me right now is to be able to tune into my natural rhythms; my menstrual cycles, my energy flow throughout the day as well as taking note of the moon and seasonal patterns.

Knowing that I can call on different SoftPower Types to help me in different work situations has helped me tune more into my intuition to make decisions, be less stressed and avoid being triggered.

What is the most common emotion you feel on a day-to day basis?

On a good day, my most common emotion is calm and knowing. However, on bad days, I can worry a lot and anxiety rears its head. I still do far too much thinking and my brain can work overtime on these kinds of days.

How important do you think vulnerability is in life and career? And have you ever been vulnerable in an uncomfortable (or usually unacceptable) situation?

Very! Particularly in our careers. The more open I believe we are about how we feel about decisions or opportunities in our careers and business, the better outcomes we will get. It’s been easy for me to do what I think I should be doing or let my ego make my decisions, but this rarely helps in the long term.

I have learnt that I can open without being rude or brash, too. I think there is a difference between being opinionated and not caring what others may think of your choices, and being considerate and respectful of others.

What do you do for SoftPlay? How do you look after yourself?

I’m not so good at SoftPlay, I’ll be honest. I’ve been on weekly art classes – I really enjoyed those but got out of the habit – and I’ve been in a choir in the past. The one thing I do every week is Nia Dance; this is my weekly exercise that is more for my soul, than my body and I love the free spiritedness of dancing barefoot to great music.

Who do you look up to as a woman?

I love Brene Brown and Michelle Obama right now. And Mary Portas is a real role model to me because of the way she’s recognised how much she was being alpha-type and has now moved more into being herself, showing up as a woman.

Where do you look for hope? (What are your sources of inspirations?)

My children; they are on the cusp of adulthood and I love how they view the world, ready to fly and take risks.

What do you tell yourself when times are tough (What’s your mantra)?

All will be good. This is really important to remember, that no matter how much shit is hitting the fan, it always get cleaned at some point. Ready for the next piece of shit to come flying through 🙂

What’s the soundtrack of inspiration for you?

This is Me is the ultimate track from The Greatest Showman. But something less predictable is Let’s Go Crazy by Prince – this was the track that saved me from going mad when I was doing my A Levels. Turn up the volume and dance!

About Karen

Business Catalyst | Barefoot dancer | Burnout Banisher

A business coach, author and speaker Karen helps struggling professionals & creatives create simpler, smarter, more strategic businesses making profit on their terms.

Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/karenskidmoreltd
Twitter: @karenskidmore
Website: www.karenskidmore.com

If you find yourself watching the news or reading articles about current events, and wanting to be a part of the change the world needs, you’re not alone. But it can be tough to work out not only what careers make a difference in the world, but how you can have the impact you want.  

Of course there’s no “one size fits all” when it comes to making a difference. But if it’s time for a change there are some important things to bear in mind when considering how you can have your biggest impact.

If you’ve found yourself considering a change of career so that you can be part of the future you want to see, here are 4 things to bear in mind.

1. You won’t make a difference if you’re burnt out

“First, replenish yourself” is one of our fundamental principles here at One of many and it’s especially relevant when it comes to considering a big question like how you can best make a difference in the world.

If you’re in a period of transition, start by making sure you’re energised and well resourced, so you’re in the best position to make thoughtful decisions. You’ll need to be able to trust your instincts – and if you’re utterly worn out and fed up, they’ll simply be telling you to STOP.

It’s easy to make rash choices when you’re coming from a place of panic or overwhelm. Give yourself time to recover from burnout, and get to a place where – at the very least – your basic needs are taken care of, before you start looking at the big picture of how you can contribute to the world.

The causes you want to contribute to will benefit far more from you at your best and most resilient, than if you take a leap to support them only to find yourself floundering.

2. Leaders need followers

A lot of us assume that to make a difference we need to start a movement or come up with a groundbreaking, world-changing idea. But not everyone is cut out to be a leader, and that doesn’t mean you can’t make a difference.

Derek Sivers first gave a name to something he calls “first follower theory”, pointing out that the first people to follow leaders are arguably just as important as the leaders themselves. In fact, the first followers are vital because they “give permission” to others to join a cause.

Perhaps you’re passionate about ending poverty, or bringing creativity back into the curriculum, or promoting flexible working for mums so they can be there for their kids as well as contributing to society through their work.

You could think of your own ways to solve those problems. But you could also look for people who already have good ideas for how to solve them, and see what support they need.

3. Build on your strengths

Whether you decide you want to start something new, or join a cause or organization who are making the difference you want to, knowing your own strengths and how you can best build on them is a huge asset.

Your Women’s PowerTypes Profile is a great place to start when it comes to understanding what makes you tick on a deeper level. Whether as a leader, freelancer or as part of a team, when you understand the patterns of behaviour you tend to adopt you’ll be able to make sure you have the impact you’re capable of, and that you do so from a place of power – without burning out.

If you don’t know your PowerTypes Profile, click here to get your report.

4. Work isn’t the only way to make a difference

When considering what careers make a difference in the world, remember that work is only one part of what makes up your contribution to the world. Perhaps you’ve spent decades building up a rewarding career that’s well paid, but doesn’t feel as though it really has a direct impact on a cause that’s close to your heart. There are lots of ways you can have an impact withput having to give up a career you love:

• You might find that there’s a local organization looking for volunteers to help with beach cleans and raise awareness of the perils of single use plastic.
• Or a campaigning group who could really do with your editing skills on their website.
• Maybe you can help a local school raise awareness, and empower a younger generation to campaign for change.

If you’re happy with what you’re doing and are looking for more impact, you don’t need to throw the baby out with the bathwater. How can you use the skills you already have to make the difference you crave?

You can make a difference

It’s a time of huge global challenge, and women are key to finding the solutions to those big problems. Every single one of us can have an impact, and we’re committed to helping empower one million grassroots women leaders to start creating the change we want to see. You are one of them!

If you’d like to have a chat with one of the team about how we can support you to make the difference you’re called to, get in touch by clicking here – and we’ll arrange a time to talk.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

For years, the first few days back after a holiday were total write-offs for me.

I’d come back from some really lovely time off, rested and excited to dive back in, only to find that for some reason, I just couldn’t get any momentum going.

What I finally figured out after years of going through this myself and talking to loads of other women is that this is because periods of time away from your normal routine tend to be times of very deep reflection and change. When you can set aside all of the things that you “have to do” on a daily basis, you can really dive deep into your ultimate purpose and your life values.

But when you fail to account for all this internal shifting when you start to get back into the swing of things, it makes it very hard to build up any momentum. There are four areas that you should particularly watch out for:

Attitude

If your attitude towards work is one of obligation — you know, that “Arg, I’ve got to get back to work” feeling — you’re setting yourself up for a really rubbish first day back before you even begin. This kind of attitude can creep in even if you really love what you do, usually out of habit or because of cultural paradigms about work, so make sure that you really keep an eye on your conscious and unconscious attitude towards getting back to work.

Similarly, if you’ve had some really exciting planning and dreaming time on your break, you might find that you have an attitude of wanting it all to happen, and wanting it all to happen very easily. While it’s great to dream big, if you come back to work with the expectation that everything is just going to fall together instantly, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.

So remember, good things do take a bit of effort sometimes. Think of your projects like a garden — it’s going to take some fertilising, planting of seeds, watering, and patience before you’ll see results.

Energy

It’s really common to have an “energy hangover” when you come back to your professional life after a holiday. You’ve been in this energy of replenishment and relaxation, this very yin energy, for a while, and you tend to bring this back into your work. While you do want to keep the effects of this energy going, you need to make some time to consciously shift your energy to get it in sync with the work you’ll be doing, otherwise you’ll just feel off and out of alignment.

Planning

If you come back from a holiday expecting that you’ll just be able to pick up where you left off and treat your first day back like it’s any other day, you’ll run into trouble. It’s really important to give yourself plenty of time to incorporate all of the new perspectives, ideas, and energies that have come up during the holidays, so make sure to set aside some time in your schedule either while you’re on holiday or the first day back to accommodate this. (More on this next week!)

Awareness

Holidays are often times of reflection and introspection, times when we sort of unconsciously sum up how our professional life is actually rating with our life values and what’s important to us at that level. If you end up finding a misalignment with your work and your life values during your time away, you’ll definitely struggle to get started again, because you’ll be trying to do something that your mind and body doesn’t want you to be doing.

Any of these sound familiar to you? You’re definitely not alone — why not share your best tips for working around these “trouble spots” in the comments below?