One of Many

Woman looking to create change

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One of many Voices: Felicity Wingrove

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

With three businesses, a busy household and a passion for living life on her own terms, Felicity Wingrove is a force to be reckoned with. In her words “I get shit done better than almost anyone else I know”

A self-confessed linguistics geek, she’s also a One of many Certified Trainer and powerful advocate for women’s empowerment at work and home. We asked Felicity to give us a candid look at what life’s really like behind the scenes, and her secrets to finding balance.

What do you do?

I run my own PR and content creation agency; speak, train and coach C-suite executives to discover their own personal power and to take control of how they’re perceived in all areas of their lives; I’m mum to two delicious little ones (Arabella is 15 months and Alexander is four); and I act as an Associate in my partner’s business, coaching SME business owners and running a Mastermind group.

Give us a daily routine (or a normal day in the life of you)…

I genuinely co-parent with my partner so I’m up by 6am all week (and usually weekends too). Half the week I’m straight off to work and at my desk by 7am, the other half I’m corralling a toddler and a pre-schooler into clothes, feeding brekkie and trying to blank out the strains of Peppa Pig.

Four days a week I work from my agency. A working day usually lasts until 6pm, and I can be anywhere in the country – taking briefings, crafting strategy, or working with my team.

Friday (or ‘mummy day’ as clients, team and everyone else knows it) I’m with my little ones, and usually covered in mud, paint or water. We have a *lot* of fun and I’m careful to be really present with them. And weekends are sacred family time. Walks, adventures, trips out, meals together, snuggles on the sofa, that sort of thing.

How do you feel about women’s “lot” these days?

I feel frustrated by this. I ‘get’ that many women have to carry the emotional load of the family. One of my team, for example, has a husband who will do whatever she wants. Need the kids taking to school? He’ll do it with a smile. But she’s the one who has to remember that it’s dress-up day, or that they need £2 for a charity something, or whatever it might be. I’m not doing that down, as I know that lots of women have the same experience, but I chose not to and that required some really honest conversations with my partner before we had kids.

After all, I’m really good at what I do, and I’ve worked really hard to get really good. But I also desperately wanted kids and didn’t want to miss out on that side of life too. To ‘have it all’ I needed someone who would be happy to pick up the other side for me. And my other half did (and does).

On a Friday when I’m mummy, he’s running his business and doing what he needs to do, but mid-week mornings when I need to be suited and booted and off kicking arse somewhere, he’s on the nursery run. And I don’t pack the kids’ bags for him – he’s an intelligent guy and perfectly capable of working out that it’s sunny so they may need sunglasses…

My – controversial I know – opinion, is that we as women have created our own significance from being so essential to the running of our homes and families. ‘I go away for a day and the whole thing falls apart’ is a martyr-esque cry in my mind, and a badge of honour.

Maybe it’s because I’m from a business background (I’m ex-corporate) but a business that can’t run without me is a sign of abject failure on my part. Hell, my entire goal with my own business is to make myself completely dispensable and for my team to be empowered to thrive without me. And while I’m not advocating that for women at home, I love the fact that my home works without me, albeit that it can still bring out vulnerability sometimes.

Let’s face it, it’s tough to be ‘managed without’ but I look to the example that I’m setting my son and my daughter and it’s worth the odd wobble, the odd tears en route to a meeting, or the odd tummy lurch when my daughter reaches for Daddy first. Tomorrow it’s just as likely to be me first and isn’t it great that he’s so important in her life too. And when it all gets a bit much, well then we have the PowerType Release Process 😉

How does femininity and Soft Power feature in your business/ career? What does it look like?

I used to be tough, and hard and even a bit brittle. I was the ex cage fighter that Jo talks about at conference… Soft was weak, and yielding made me feel a bit sick. Discovering One of many changed all that. I stopped pushing so hard at everything and chilled the **** out!

Soft power has allowed me to be softer but still unapologetic. Not aggressive by any stretch but I know my worth, my value and also my boundaries, and they’re non-negotiable. I lead from soft power and while I’ll always enjoy my Warrioress yang energy, I also see the real benefit of bringing yin to the boardroom. I work almost exclusively with men, and in masculine sectors such as manufacturing, engineering and tech. Tapping into my genuine femininity allows me to communicate authentically with them. I’m more compelling and inspiring as a result.

What is the most common emotion you feel as a woman on a day-to day basis?

Excitement. We have never had so much opportunity – to see, feel, hear, taste, touch and experience. To lead and to be led into new adventures. To inspire. To shape the world exactly as we wish and need. To bring up the next generation and to learn from those before us. We’re connected like never before.

What’s the soundtrack of inspiration for you?

Oh my gosh, I *love* music. This Is Me reminds me of the Trainers’ Certification and the gorgeous ladies I shared that journey with. Thunder by Imagine Dragons makes me want to conquer the world. Havana by Camila Cabello makes me want to get up and dance. My theme tune though would probably be something like Best Day of My Life, or Reach by S Club 7!

About Felicity

Psycholinguist | Corporate survivor | Ex-cage fighter

Felicity Wingrove is a coach, speaker and trainer as well as the founder of Zen Communications. Her work centers around giving others a voice, whether that’s helping professionals who are struggling to find theirs; working with awesome businesses who need to authentically position and market themselves; or supporting business owners who have a dream and just need the marketing (and sales) know-how to deliver it to those that matter.

She previously worked in a variety of senior communications positions, applying her language skills on behalf of some of the nation’s leading brands, organisations and associations. After time as Senior Communications Adviser for FTSE100 BAE Systems’ Air Systems, and Account Director at national PR agency Golley Slater, she launched her own consultancy in 2007. Now, she helps clients take positive control of how they’re perceived, truly own their space, and powerfully and ethically influence the people who matter the most to them.

Connect with her at the following links:

Twitter: @Felicity_ZenPR
Facebook page: Zen PR
Website: www.zen-communications.co.uk
Linked In: Felicity Wingrove

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If you feel disconnected…

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

One thing which makes the new paradigm of leadership distinct is the fact that it thrives not on competition – success despite others – but in collaboration and connection.

Success with and through others.

I was vividly awakened to the importance of this level of connection when I realised it was missing from my own life.

In my latest blog on joannamartin.com I’m sharing what I learned, and the steps I took to rectify the problem.

“I have a natural tendency to play solo. In the past, I’ve relied on my profound connection to Source – the universe, nature, the vision that pulls me forwards – for my connection needs, rather than other people.

I’d never seen that as a problem until I experienced really great connections in a new environment. But in that extraordinary setting, I experienced a depth of connection, and a feeling of such motivation to deepen and grow my work, that I became vividly aware of what I was missing.”

Click here to read the full article – and do share, if you’ve experienced something similar.

Leave a comment and let’s connect.

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Liz Gilbert, Mother and the Alpha Wolf

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

You love certain people in your life deeply. Your family, dear friends, partner or team. They’re so precious to you that when something goes wrong in their lives, it affects you too. And for those you care most strongly for, you’d do anything to help them be the happiest version of themselves.

Only… what happens when that care starts to feel like being squashed, controlled or criticized?

Today I want to share an incredibly vulnerable and moving example of this kind of support in action. It’s a story of love through one of the most painful possible times. And it’s also filled with hope, and the wisdom which came from it.

Here’s what Liz Gilbert taught me about balancing our desire to help with respecting the freedom of those you love.

Liz Gilbert, Mother, and the Alpha Wolf

Before we dive in, let me give a bit of background – just in case you’re not as much of a fan of this writer as I am.

Liz Gilbert’s a globally renowned author, speaker and teacher. She’s one of my favourite writers, both for her incredible fiction and her teachings around love, fulfilment and creativity. As well a being the bestselling author of Eat, Pray Love and Big Magic and her latest novel, City of Girls, she’s a passionate advocate for social justice.

In 2016, she celebrated publically the news that a new relationship had blossomed in her life – with her best friend of 15 years, Rayya Elias. Tragically, the trigger for this awakening was Rayya’s diagnosis with terminal cancer. And in January 2018, Rayya died.

The time up to and following Rayya’s death is one about which Liz has been astonishingly lucid, vulnerable and raw about sharing in many of her public posts, talks and appearances.

Caring for a terminally ill partner is a devastating process. And I’m awed by how open Liz has been in sharing what she learned.

First, as a tribute to her fierce and beautiful partner. And secondly, as a profound lesson in the ways we can support and care for those we love, whilst honouring their independence and individuality.

The Mother in relationships

When we’re in a mode of caring and nurturing, the Women’s PowerType we tend to draw on is Mother.

She’s the archetypal version of the strongest Mothering instinct – unconditionally loving, gentle, and powerfully protective of  those in her care.

When does Mother help?

There are 5 Women’s PowerTypes™, and Mother might not be the first to spring to mind when it comes to your partner.

But the PowerTypes are archetypes – embodiments of certain ways of being – not literal descriptions. And there are times, in any relationship, that Mother energy is what’s needed.

  • When you or your partner are feeling hopeless, uncared for and small. We all need unconditional love from time to time, no matter what’s been going on.
  • When you or your partner are feeling vulnerable or unsafe – craving a sense of home, safety, being nurtured and nourished.
  • In times of sickness or exhaustion. Mother is the perfect energy in which to rest and feel cared for.

Just as Mother can be the most effective guide to caring for ourselves, bringing out the best in our team members or helping friends through tough times, so she can be a powerful support in relationships.

And for Liz, navigating the unthinkable – Rayya’s terminal illness and loss of independence – it was naturally an energy which came to the fore.

In a moving podcast for The Moth, called The Alpha Wolf, she shared some of the ways she moved into that caring role.

“I made plans to take care of her… and my whole planning was based on this idea that I was powerless to stop her from dying but by God, I was going to make sure that she had the gentlest, the safest and the most enlightened, the most cushioned death that a human being could possibly have.”

And yet, Rayya – the recipient of her care – was a reluctant – in fact a defiantly resistant patient. She didn’t want to be cosseted and cushioned; she insisted on continuing to live as she always had, right up until the end.

Here’s the beautiful, and even funny way Liz observes and pays tribute to that rebellion.

“She didn’t want to talk to the bereavement counselor that I brought to her house. She wanted to watch football afternoon with her nephews. I made her all this beautiful organic food to keep her as healthy as we could keep her, and she didn’t want it. She wanted to live on Oreos and cigarettes and did live almost exclusively on Oreos and cigarettes for a solid year past her original expiration date. And of course I got her to sign up with hospice, because I wanted to make sure that she had the best and safest quality homecare… and then Rayya got kicked out of hospice.”

There’s such humour, in that description of what must have included some really painful moments.

Overexpressed Mother in action

What Liz has picked up on is the way that Mother energy can sometimes run the risk of going into overdrive. “Overexpressed” Mother energy begins to show up as possessive, controlling or inappropriately ”fussy”.

It also starts to swallow your own resources.

And the situation doesn’t have to be extreme as Liz’s for this to be true.

Maybe you care so deeply about your team that you find yourself losing sleep over their personal lives.

Or you’re so concerned about your friend’s finances that unasked, you draw up a spending plan to help them get unstuck. (Never mind everything else that’s on your plate right now… or the fact that they’ve never stuck to a budget in their lives.)

What feels like care to the overexpressed Mother can feel a lot like being controlled or bossed about by the person in the “child” role.

And in the end, that can be a less effective way of supporting them on their path.

Finding balance with Mother

In Liz’s telling of the story, it was at the end of Rayya’s life that she finally understood the kind of care her lover wanted.

“Rayya didn’t want my help. She didn’t want my pity. She didn’t want my planning. She certainly didn’t want my story. The only thing that really wanted from me was that thing which I had always so effortlessly and naturally given her which was my devotion and my all. She just wanted me there in the room, in love with her and bearing witness.”

That pure, unwavering devotion – that honouring of the wholeness of the other person, and commitment to being there for them without trying to fix or change them – is a wonderful description of the Mother at her most powerful.

And Liz’s courage in sharing this lesson, continuing the legacy of she and Rayya’s love story and her own journey towards greater understanding, is something I find incredibly inspiring.

Taking charge of your Mother energy

If you know Mother’s a PowerType you tend to overexpress, here are some questions to ask yourself when you find yourself slipping into a caring mode.

1. Has this person asked for my help in this way?

You might be powerfully attuned to the challenges someone’s facing. But have you asked them what would help the most?

Checking in with them to see what they’d like you to do, or asking “would you be willing for me to…” gives them the autonomy to tell you what would be of most help to them. The answer might be “nothing right now” or “just being here to talk to” – if that’s the case, resist the urge to solve or fix things further.

2. Am I being depleted by my actions?

There are some people in our lives we’d willingly sacrifice energy for. Most mums have probably sacrificed their sleep and at times their sanity to support a sick kid; you might have a handful of drop-everything friends or family members who you’d turn your life upside down to be at their side.

But if you’re regularly being drained or exhausted in service of others, it might be time to take a look at how many people you’re committed to supporting.

Enough is Enough is our free how-to guide to setting boundaries and getting clear on what is and isn’t yours to take on. Click here to download your free copy now.

3. Do I have access to other leadership modes?

As a leader, Mother inspires independence, gratitude and courage in those around her.

But there are times when leaders need to call on other PowerTypes – decisive Queen, visionary Sorceress, energetic Warrioress or magnetic Lover.

If you’d like to find out how you can gain greater access to the full range of PowerTypes, book a call with one of the team today and find out if one of our programs or retreats might be a good fit for you.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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The truth about burnout

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

I’m one of many women who know burnout first hand. In fact, once upon a time I’d been running on adrenaline for so long, I ended up in hospital. Which seems nuts to me, now that I know it is possible to be effective without getting swallowed up by everything on my plate. But I’m not alone.

Even if you’ve managed to avoid burnout yourself, I’m willing to bet you know someone who has experienced it – and she was likely a woman. A recent article by Alexandra Michel on Burnout and the Brain got me thinking about how important a topic this is, and re-presenced me to the imperative that we get a collective handle on it.

Frankly, there’s too much at stake for us not to.

In our current cohort of Lead the Change – our year long advanced leadership program – over 70% of our participants have been burned out, or nearly so.

Now that might be an anecdotal statistic. But simply as an observation, it frightens me a little. Because it signals just how common it is for incredibly talented women – ones with a massive contribution to make to the world – find ourselves utterly worn out and broken by the demands of the modern workplace.

And not every woman is able to access the kind of leadership support we offer here at One of many.

It’s an epidemic, and if we want more women leaders we need to recognize it, heal it and then change the culture that fosters it.

Burnout costs business serious talent

There’s plenty of research out there pointing to the positive impact having more women in senior leadership positions has in business.

And almost as much asking why corporations still struggle to achieve gender balance at the top level.

The Global Markets Institute at Goldman Sachs produced a report in 2018 that didn’t explicitly mention burnout.

But some of their findings spoke to me of burnout as an invisible issue.

For example, when considering the lack of women in senior roles, the research found:

“Our analysis of attrition among full-time working women indicates that well-educated women stop working full-time relatively early in their careers at a higher rate than similar men do. While the difference is relatively small at the start of their careers, it widens meaningfully as women grow older, peaking when women are in their early 40s.”

Now, of course, there is a whole range of factors why women might not want to continue in their careers. We might choose not to continue in full-time employment for a whole number of reasons.

But my hunch is that burnout, or the risk of it, has to play a part.

This amazing graphic sums up many of the findings of Michel’s article. One of the quotes I love from it is this:

“Burnout won’t look like we expect. Burnout will tell us “I’m bad at this” or “I don’t even like it or care about it”. This can cause people to abandon a career instead of seeking rest or support.”

How many hugely talented leaders step back because they think they’re simply not cut out for senior roles – when in fact, burnout’s the culprit?

A culture that fuels burnout

And yet many of the most highly valued professions seem to be moving towards increased pressure on their workforce.

A New York Times article in April this year highlighted the insanity of many industries’ expectation from those who work ‘full time’. In elite careers, like medicine or law, the amount that we’re expected to work has increased dramatically in recent years, to the point where being more or less constantly “on call” is almost a prerequisite.

“The returns to working long, inflexible hours have greatly increased. This is particularly true in managerial jobs and what social scientists call the greedy professions, like finance, law and consulting — an unintentional side effect of the nation’s embrace of a winner-take-all economy. It’s so powerful, researchers say, that it has canceled the effect of women’s educational gains.”

If burnout arises when the demands of a job outweigh the resources we have to cope with it, this shift to working ever-longer hours surely indicates a clear increase in risk.

Add in family and household demands and it seems fair to assume that many women who choose to step back from their careers might be making a pragmatic decision to avoid burnout.

And yet, the loss of those leaders has a significant impact on the talent available to businesses and organizations. To society as a whole, in fact.

Ironically, the women leaders who could be the very ones to change this culture are often the ones who find themselves disillusioned and stepping back from it altogether.

Healing a culture takes time

Changing the way we work isn’t a small project. It’s no coincidence that our mission at One of many is to equip one million women leaders. That’s probably only going to be the start of what it’s going to take to create the new way of working, living and leading we need to turn back the tide of burnout and overwhelm.

But it’s one that I’m convinced isn’t just worth doing. It’s essential if we’re going to be able to fully make the most of our capabilities to solve the massive challenges we’re facing.

Burnout and you

Have you experienced burnout? Are you there right now? Share a comment below and let us know – it’s going to take us all getting really honest about our experiences if we’re going to turn this ship around.

And if you’re struggling right now, a good place to start is by clicking here to download the free Overwhelm First Aid kit.

It’s the step by step resource you need when things start to feel like too much, with strategies to get you back on top and tips to get back to a more sustainable way of working.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Can women leaders be true to themselves?

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

The trouble with deciding to be “true to yourself” as a leader, is that first you have to know which self to choose. You in the car doing a one-woman karaoke version of a song you don’t actually know all the words to? Might not wash with the senior leaders who need to really respect your authority. You having a meltdown as you wrangle your kid back to bed fourteen hundredth time? Probably not the most diplomatic persona to bring to a tense meeting with a team member. And yet the version of ourselves we do often choose to show up as can feel just as narrow a way to contain all of who you are. So how can women leaders be true to themselves?

You contain many selves

We all contain a blend of personalities, whether or not we’re conscious of them. Some of them might be “inherited” from people in your life, maybe from when you were growing up. A strict teacher’s phrases might ring in your ears when you write important documents. Or your granny’s no-nonsense words might fortify you when you’re overthinking a decision.

Some of them have arisen from your own experiences, or just evolved with you over time. And they’re not always incredibly helpful.

For example, you might recognise some of these common personalities:

  • The people pleaser, who’s always trying to keep everyone happy
  • The worrier, expert in foreseeing the absolute worst-case scenario
  • The inner critic, never happy with the standard round here
  • The rebel, who thinks you can stick your spreadsheets where the sun doesn’t shine
  • The dreamer, who…. sorry, what were you saying? I’d drifted off

From a psychological perspective, then, deciding to simply be “true to yourself” doesn’t quite wash. And there’s something else to bear in mind.

Society shapes (some of) who you are

The second thing to think about when it comes to being “true to yourself” is the impact society has on our actions and identities.

For example, research shows that, in the workplace, women are far more likely to offer to do non-promotable tasks. These are defined as tasks which “benefit the organization but likely don’t contribute to someone’s performance evaluation and career advancement.” (Think: organizing the office party, or taking minutes at a meeting).

In a Harvard Business Review study, researchers found that

“Although neither men nor women really want to volunteer for thankless tasks, women volunteer more, are asked to volunteer more, and accept requests to volunteer more than men. These differences do not appear to result from gender differences in preferences, but rather from a shared understanding that women will volunteer more than men.”

When a job’s identified, the group are asked to volunteer to do it, and that slightly awkward silence descends on the meeting? Women are far more likely to be the ones to sigh and raise our hands.

This kind of cultural conditioning is a tricky thing to navigate. After all, if we’ve been raised to be helpful, and the expectation is that we’re going to offer a hand if one’s needed, you could say it’s being “true to yourself” to volunteer.

But unconscious gender stereotyping like this is harmful. It plays a big part in the gender pay gap and the lack of women in senior leadership positions. And it relies on our tendency to have absorbed stereotypes like being helpful, pleasing people, and being “good” – which can be to our detriment.

Superwoman to the rescue!

So we’re more likely to volunteer to help out with “thankless” tasks at work. And we’re also more likely to be doing more of the day to day household tasks at home.

A Goldman Sachs report reported statistics from the US Bureau of Labor Statistics showing that

“over the past 15 years, significantly more women than men have spent time on household activities on a daily basis (84% of women vs 65% of men). And the women who engaged in these activities each day spent about 25% more time doing so than the men who engaged in them.”

The solution? Enter, Superwoman.

Superwoman is the archetype of our times. She doesn’t bat an eyelid at all these extra responsibilities. In fact, she also has several productive hobbies, eight children, a regular Pilates practice, a sex life that would make you blush and still finds time to let her hair down with the girls at the weekend.

Sleep? Who needs it!

It’s easy to laugh but when it comes to piling on the commitments, you’ve probably been guilty of going a bit too heavy on the multitasking yourself from time to time.

Conference calls while cooking dinner… business books on holiday… emails on the phone while you’re at the playground.

Ring any bells?

When we’re in Superwoman mode we can often feel like we’re being “true to ourselves”, or at least trying to be.

We’re endeavouring to live up to the idea we have of the perfect wife… mother… manager… friend.

But Superwoman only lasts for so long, before the cracks begin to show.

Burnout is the price we pay for ignoring the need to bring more of ourselves to the table. And when we burn out, we really do get to be ourselves. Just not as the leaders we’d imagined we’d be.

It’s tough. It’s avoidable. And for many of us it’s the wake up call we need to do things differently.

Is there another way?

Being true to yourself requires honesty.

So showing up as yourself isn’t as simple as just letting it all hang out, uncensored. There’s a bit more work involved.

Find out who you are

Beneath all the different roles you play in your life, what makes you tick? What gets you excited? What do you love to do, and what would you like to never do again?

A daily journaling practice is a great way to start when it comes to discovering who you are.

It might feel a little awkward at first – like hanging out with an acquaintance you’ve only just met. Keep going. Even if at first, you’re just writing “I don’t know what to write” or “I don’t know who I am” over and over again.

At some point, you’ll find your voice and the words will begin to flow.

Work through what’s holding you back

When you’re starting to show up as a leader without putting on a “mask”, it also requires that you deal, at least to some extent, with what’s going on in the rest of your life.

If you’re a raging ball of fury at home, snapping at your partner and roaring at your kids, it’s probably safe to say your team might not want to see you let your guard down.

Finding a coach to work with, or exploring a program like BePowerful, can help you safely explore the different aspects of yourself. When you’ve got a handle on any issues that are keeping you from relaxing into your unique self, you’ll find shining as yourself comes far more easily.

Allow yourself to change

Women are, by our natures, cyclical beings. We’re not the same, monotonous robots day in and day out (OK, I know men aren’t either – but you get my drift).

The Women’s PowerTypes™ are the 5 leadership archetypes we use to harness the very different energies we all contain – from cool, decisive Queen to fiery Warrioress.

The PowerTypes are the key to allowing yourself to embrace very different aspects of yourself without sacrificing your effectiveness as a leader. In fact, when you’re able to track your natural flow of energy you can consciously step into the right PowerType at any time – giving you access to a well of energy and leadership power that’s unstoppable.

If you’re committed to being true to yourself as a leader, that also means being aware that you’re going to change. You’re going to make mistakes. But you’ll also have more of an impact than you ever could staying stuck in one, narrow version of your glorious self.

In the words of Brené Brown,

“Let go of who you think you’re supposed to be; embrace who you are.”

More than just a snappy quote, becoming yourself as a leader is a process. But if we’re going to build a different world, it’s a challenge I think it’s high time we rose to.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Feeling cynical about politics? How Michelle Obama and an ex-president changed my mind

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Have you been feeling cynical about politics? Lately, it’s been hard not to feel sceptical about the quality of leadership we’re seeing in those at the helm of our nations.

Today, I shared some of my recent personal journey around feeling cynical about politics on joannamartin.com – here’s a taste of some of what I’ve been feeling.

“However much you’re personally involved in politics, it’s hard to avoid the sense that there’s been a shift in recent years. I’m sensing a very different kind of conversation amongst our leaders and it’s not a development that feels good.

To me, it’s starting to seem as though we’ve moved out of an era when our political leaders were motivated by a desire to be a good steward for the country they had the responsibility of leading. Where there was a sense of duty, and of responsibility for leaders to make wise decisions; show respect for their opponents; andact in ways they truly believed to be in the best interests of the people.

Today’s politics feels rather to be characterised by very different motivations.

A hunger for power at any cost.

Sensationalism.

And the use of fear, especially when trying to convince citizens of the need for a certain course of action.”

Click here to read the full article, and discover what I learned from recent opportunities to hear Michelle Obama and ex-president of Colombia Juan Manuel Santos share their views. I came away with a new perspective. How does it land with you?

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3 people every leader needs on her team

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

If you want to be the most effective leader you can be, you can’t do it on your own. Sometimes that means making sure you have specialist support on a nitty-gritty level – team members to delegate to, or support around practical things like childcare. But today I want to talk about 3 people every leader needs on her team beyond those specific roles. These are essential levels of support for your growth on a wider level, and if you’re serious about making a difference they’re not to be ignored.

What do we mean by team?

Before we start, a quick note on what I mean by “team”. I’m not talking necessarily about the people you work directly alongside, or manage, as part of your day to day job. They might not be directly connected to your current role at all. Here, I’m using team in a much wider sense – the people you’re connected with who can help you move in the direction of your goals.

A metaphor we often use in our leadership training is that of the “leader as weaver”. In a piece of fabric, every single strand is supported by – and supports in turn – every other strand. We can’t point to a beautiful bolt of silk and say that this strand is more important than that one. Every single one is important.

When you think about your unique and vital role in this world, it’s really helpful in my experience to remember that you’re not doing it on your own. Your role, and your purpose, is unique to you. But in fulfilling your life’s work, you’ll also be supporting a whole network of others – the other “threads” which are touching yours – in big and small ways.

And in turn, everyone you come into contact with has the potential to enable you to shine that little bit brighter. So today I want to walk you through 3 really important people you’ll want to have in your wider network in order to make you the most effective leader you can be.

3 people every leader needs on her team

1. A sponsor or mentor

Let’s start with sponsors and mentors. If you imagine a grid network of threads in a piece of fabric, with you in the middle, we could think of them as being above you. That’s not to say they’re more important, but when it comes to the difference you’re trying to make they might just be a little bit further along the path.

I define mentors very simply as people who have walked the path before you. They care about you and they’re available to answer questions, but they’re not proactively furthering things for you all the time, necessarily.

Sponsors, on the other hand, are a particular subcategory of mentors, which are people who have a very vested interest in your success – people who really want to open doors for you.

  • If you’re in an organization it might be someone in the C Suite that’s taken a particular interest in your journey
  • It might be someone inside your church group who’s really watching out for you and checking in on you every Sunday
  • It might be a teacher or facilitator who you connected with some years ago, and have stayed in touch with

It’s someone who deeply cares about your career path, or deeply cares about the wellbeing of your project. Someone who, for whatever reason, is particularly interested and is actively working for you, almost as much as they work for (and sometimes maybe even more) than they work for themselves.

If you’ve experienced that kind of support, you can probably recall how good it feels. Mentors and sponsors have the wisdom and experience to reassure you when you hit a bump in the road, or to remind you that you’ll make it through the specific challenges you’re facing. They might have specific advice or they may simply be there to say “keep going – you’re doing great” or “this is always how it feels at this stage”.

They may be able to smooth your path and make introductions; warn you of potential pitfalls and difficulties; or put your day-to-day difficulties into perspective.

Sponsors and mentors: a warning

If you’ve only got sponsors and mentors, you can run the risk of feeling “less than”. Which makes sense, doesn’t it? You’re only comparing yourself to those that are further along or more awesome.

In fact, in a worst-case scenario you can sometimes find yourself falling into victim mode, or getting a bit co-dependent and saying things like “This isn’t working because my mentor is not doing what they should be.”

Over the years I’ve mentored a lot of business people, and sometimes people join Business Masterminds thinking that my role as leader is to somehow “fix” whatever’s not working for them. It’s an unhelpful mentality, which rather than helping you grow can ultimately hold you back.

The best way to guard against that is to make sure the other elements of your support network are in place.

2. A charge, or mentee

Now, going back to this idea of a woven “grid” pattern, when a fabric is woven together there are also going to be threads running beneath yours. These are just as important as the ones above you when it comes to supporting you and holding you in place.

These are the people I call your charges, or mentees. People for whom you’re a bit further on the path, and who you’re helping along.

A charge is the flipside of the mentor/sponsor – someone very special, who you care about, and who you’re wanting to get doors open for.

So you might be acting as a sponsor to them and really driving things forward, actively networking on their behalf and helping create opportunities.

Or perhaps you’re in more of a mentor role, there to answer questions or perhaps have informal check-ins on a regular basis, just to share the benefit of your experience.

If you’re being mentored by someone yourself and you’ve found yourself falling into the trap of only comparing yourself to them, then becoming a mentor to someone else can be an incredibly powerful experience. Suddenly, you’ll become aware of how much you do know about your industry or profession. You might find there are aspects of your role you’ve been completely taking for granted – but when you’re asked about them, you realize that you really do have some expertise to share.

One surprising bonus of having a charge is that they can also bring a fresh perspective. The Zen concept of “beginner’s mind” states that someone who’s new to a challenge often has far more ideas for how to solve it, because they’re not constrained by ideas of how things are “always done” or that “could never work”. So being a mentor can help invigorate your own work in surprising ways.

Alyssa Wrapp is the managing partner of AJR venturers, a management lecturer at Stanford University, and a wife and mother. In a piece for Forbes magazine she shared the benefit she’s found of ensuring she has both these kinds of support in her network:

“As a mentee, I have benefitted from the deep experience of people who have made a personal investment in me; as a mentor, I have accelerated other people’s learning and career growth just by investing time and insight, which has been incredibly gratifying. Furthermore, when I take the time to mentor someone, my company or organization often benefits from this relationship.”

Alyssa Wrapp

3. Peers

The third pillar of support that’s essential for you as you contnue your leadership journey is your peers. One way to think about them in this “fabric” metaphor would be as the vertical threads running along either side of you.

Your peers are those people that are at the same level as you on the journey. Not further along the path, not less along the path, but about the same level.

They’re there to champion and cheerlead you, have fun with you, and inspire you when you’re feeling a bit down. They might be a group you’re a part of, like a mastermind, or your cohort in an extended program like our year-long Lead the Change leadership training.

In your workspace, they’re people who are at roughly the same level as you when it comes to experience and responsibilities; they might be your fellow mums, or your business network.

When you get together with people who are on exactly the same part of the journey as you, you get to laugh about stuff together. Often, there’s a real relief that comes with poking fun at the daily frustrations of your role or debriefing about what you’ve recently learned. That kind of cameraderie can really lift you up.

If you don’t have peers, and you’ve only got those that you’re looking up to, and those that you’re helping along, it can feel like a pretty lonely old journey. Because you don’t necessarily feel the fun, and the love, and the inspiration with those relationships. And they’re not as attuned to the details and the challenges that you’re experiencing day in and day out on your path.

Connected, integrated, aligned

Every layer of this support is necessary if you’re going to truly thrive as a leader.

Because without this strong fabric of support, we can end up feeling quite isolated. We can feel alone. We can end up in superwoman. And we can feel either smarter than everyone or dumber than everyone depending on which elements of the fabric are missing.

So, we want to be able to orientate ourselves as close to the truth of how things are and feel as supported as is possible. This is the state in which we’ll experience the most profound, and sustainable, growth. 

How strong is your fabric?

  • Take a moment to reflect for yourself on these 3 people – sponsors or mentors, charges, and peers. Can you identify one person fulfilling each of those roles in your life right now? Can you identify more than one?
  • If there were a few actions that needed to be put in place to strengthen out that fabric, what might they need to be?

Take a couple of minutes to give some thought to that, and jot down some ideas. And if you’d like some specific support around a particular area of your life and are interested in joining one of our retreats or leadership trainings, click here to find out more about our programs.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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4 centuries of anger – time for a change?

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Women have been maligned, undermined and overlooked for hundreds of years. In a recent article on joannamartin.com I explored some of the implications for us as leaders… as well as opening up about my personal response to recent events.

Today I am angry.

Angry at being overlooked.

Angry at feeling unsafe my whole life.

Angry. Angry. Angry.

We deserve much better.

We sometimes assume that emotions like anger or sadness aren’t constructive. They certainly go against the grain of the “nice girl” or “people pleasing” roles that many women are raised to occupy.

But feeling a connection to the pain and unjustice of the world can be a powerful catalyst for leaders to take action. Click here to read the full article – I’d love to know if you relate!

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Why is women’s leadership important in our world?

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Female leadership matters. All other considerations aside, it results in better performance. Studies have shown that companies with greater gender diversity, not just among the workforce as a whole but specifically among senior leaders, are more profitable. So, the answer to the question “why is women’s leadership important in our world?”, the answer is simple: it gives us better results.

But when it comes to stepping into our power as leaders, it’s clear that we face some pretty big challenges.

Today I want to share some current research into women’s leadership, as well as an angle on it that I think you’ll find incredibly motivating – whether or not you think of yourself as a leader in the traditional sense.

If you’re a woman keen to have your biggest impact, and to discover a take you might not have considered when it comes to changing things, read on.

Why is women’s leadership important in our world?

Let’s start with the basics: women leaders have a measurable impact on the bottom line.

In a 2015 report, McKinsey and co found that “In the UK, greater gender diversity on the senior executive team corresponded to the highest performance uplift in our data set: for every 10% increase in gender diversity, earnings before interest and taxes rose by 3.5%”

And yet, when it comes to representation of women in senior positions, the stats show we still have a long way to go. In 2018, Goldman Sachs undertook a report into gender diversity and – whilst noting the limitations on available data – reported that “Women make up about 40% of all employees – but just 6% of CEOs.”

So why is this – and what can we do about it?

Why do we see fewer women in leadership positions?

Well, it won’t surprise you to know that the answer to this is complicated. As we all know, women are a diverse bunch and the individual decisions and choices we make – or have made for us – about stepping up to more senior roles are as unique as we are.

Still, there are some threads that emerge. One of them is the cultural paradigm – the social context most of us have been raised in, which continues to promote certain gender stereotypes.

At the start of BePowerful, our 12 week online coaching program that connects women to their power, we invite the women taking part to spend some time thinking about what traits they associate with being “female”. It’s always so fascinating to see what gets shared in our virtual forum in response to this question.

If you haven’t done this exercise before, have a quick think now about what you’d list out as “feminine” attributes.

Often, women share that they’ve been surprised to uncover some very negative entrenched views of being called “girly” or “like a woman”. Being told you “throw like a girl” or comments like “typical woman driver” spring to mind.

We’re rightly outraged when we hear these comments being made, and yet however hard we try to resist them, they have an impact.

We internalize a certain set of associations with being a woman compared to being a man, and that has a real impact on our confidence when it comes to stepping into leadership roles.

This phenomenon is something the Goldman Sachs report picked up on.

“Women may be uncomfortable exhibiting more stereotypically “masculine” traits such as ambition and self-promotion in the workplace. They may fear a backlash if their behavior is at odds with prevailing gender stereotypes.

In fact, traits and behavior that are often rewarded in men may be seen as inappropriate, discomforting and perhaps ultimately counter-productive when demonstrated by women.

In colloquial terms, aggressive men may be perceived as being “go-getters,” while similarly aggressive women may be perceived as having “sharp elbows.” Closing the Gender Gap: Advancing Women in Corporate America, Goldman Sachs

The playing field when it comes to male and female leadership then, is clearly not a level one. And the very leadership characteristics that accelerate the advancement of our male colleagues can actually be seen as negative when applied to women.

So what’s the solution?

What can we do about it?

Changing our culture when it comes to the stereotypes we have of each gender would be a great place to start. As a parent, I’m passionate about ensuring the next generation isn’t raised with these outdated ideas of women and men’s roles and characteristics.

But I think this also offers us a real opportunity to change things right now when it comes to modelling what effective leadership looks like. With courage and confidence, it’s time to change not only the diversity among our leadership teams but to create a new form of leadership.

Instead of trying to squeeze ourselves into old-fashioned ways of working, here is an opportunity to radically shift our organizations, and evolve a more balanced, diverse, and ultimately resilient way of leading.

Stephanie S Mead, author of The Art of Strategic Leadership: How Leaders at All Levels Prepare Themselves, Their Teams, and Organizations for the Future, sees this ability to change as being fundamental to successful business.

“If you want to be relevant in the future, you have no choice but to change and evolve…

Leaders have a responsibility to build and support a culture where breaking down ingrained habits and old standards is recognized as an important part of rebuilding and creating a stronger, more successful organization.

They not only see the need for change, they work hard to identify and manage resistance in order to push the needed change forward.” – Stephanie S Mead

When we are given the support we need to become unique leaders, rather than doing things “the way they’ve always been”, we actually strengthen our organizations.

Change starts with you

You might not be in a corporate setting right now – but I believe you are absolutely a leader, whether for your family, your community, in the public or not-for-profit sectors. All of us are role models for the upcoming generations; as citizens each of us has responsibility for changing our corner of the world.

So, I invite you to connect to this inspiration in whatever form your leadership takes. To recognise that while the world we are living in is often unfair, if we connect and support each other we have the power to create an entirely different system.

And if you’re wondering where to start, the seeds of that change can be planted in the simplest possible way: starting with you.

“Whether you are a leader or not, I think you have to pay attention to thought patterns and processes so you start to recognize when resistance is emerging, either in yourself or in others…. You can also coach yourself and others to get out of the routine and try new things that will encourage you and them to work outside your comfort zones and look at the change as an opportunity to grow.” Stephanie Mead

Getting more comfortable with change is something that can start in the smallest possible way.

  • Take a different route on a well-worn commute
  • Speak up when you might stay silent
  • Reach out to someone you don’t know that well, and invite them for a virtual coffee
  • Apply for a role that’s slightly outside your comfort zone
  • Show up in a way that’s more authentically you instead of “fitting in” to the expectations of others

I’m sure you can think of more ideas when it comes to beginning to get more comfortable with the idea of change. Whatever it looks like for you, I would love you to share somewhere you’re overcoming resistance or trying something new in the comments. Together, we can create a ripple of change that goes far beyond our individual impact – and adds up to a wave that could change the world.

Ready to overcome resistance?

If you’re feeling the pull to change and would like to be supported and guided into allowing your authentic self to come through, take a look at our BePowerful program. Click here for the full details and scroll down to book in a no-pressure application call.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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How to make a difference in the world

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

It can feel hard to know how to make a difference in the world – and frankly, most of the women I know don’t have a whole lot of spare time to think about it. Sure, we’ve got our ideals. We see the complex, vast and very real challenges our planet is facing right now. But there’s also the email inbox, the kids, the deadlines, and the occasional precious hour of self-care…

Changing the world can feel like one of many responsibilities we’re juggling.

And if it feels like it’s going to be an uphill struggle to get others to care about an issue, it’s even harder to feel motivated about taking action.

Yet apathy’s not an option. The world’s in desperate need of change, and for those of us in the privileged position to do something about it, our time is now.

In this episode of Jo & Co, I’m sharing a simple mindset shift that can help you begin to have a serious impact on the issues you’re passionate about.

The mindset shift that empowers change

In the video I share:

  • What you need to be comfortable with if you want to make a difference
  • How my leadership journey started – and how you can avoid the mistake I made
  • A fresh way of thinking about influence that leads to a truly powerful leadership stance

Take 5 minutes and watch the video now:

Whether you’re an established or emerging leader; whether you want to make a difference in your business, community, or family, this will help you do it with ease and grace.

I’d love to know if this helps reframe the difference you want to make in the world, and what cause you’re going to use this approach to change.

Want a helping hand?

If you’re ready to step into action when it comes to your purpose in life, working with a coach can be one of the most powerful choices you will ever make. Our Certified Coaches are trained and experienced in working with women who are passionate about creating change. Click here to look through the directory and find the right catalyst for your calling.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.