One of Many

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How coaching is different from mentoring

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

The question came up just a couple of weeks ago in our One of many coaches group. One of our certified coaches had been approached by a colleague to provide some support – only, was it coaching they wanted, or mentoring? It got me reflecting on just how coaching is different from mentoring and why it’s so important that we get that distinction right.

Why we need to know how coaching is different from mentoring

At first glance, it might not seem like a massively important distinction. After all, if you’re looking to make progress in your career and need some wise counsel from someone else to do that, does it really matter what label you stick on it?

But there are lots of reasons why it’s really crucial that the distinction is clear from the outset of any relationship like this. Here are just 3:

  • Trust: Coaching and mentoring have different expectations around things like confidentiality and the scope of each session. It’s vital that both parties understand what’s being asked for – and offered – before they take part.
  • Payment: Coaching is a professional undertaking which usually requires payment. In many, though not all, professions mentoring is something offered for free by more senior individuals. For obvious reasons this is an area that it’s very important to have clarity around from the start!
  • Training: If you’re working with a coach, it’s reasonable to expect a certain level of professional training or significant experience; a mentor might not have formal training, but there will likely be certain pre-requisites of taking on this role.

Without clarity in these areas, any relationship can quickly become strained.

So how is coaching different from mentoring – and what should you be clear about from the start?

Here are 5 key areas the two can differ in – and some questions to ask before you start.

1. Coaching and mentoring have different goals

Typically, a coach will work with you towards an agreed goal. For example, you might want to focus on a particular ambition, like reaching a new level of financial growth in your business; getting clarity on your purpose; or improving a specific relationship, with your partner or your children for example. Within an organization, a coach might support you to reach a specific sales target or quarterly goal.

The purpose of mentoring is likely to be slightly different. Mentors tend to be more focused around career growth, often looking at a result that which the person mentoring has already achieved. They might support you with developing your leadership, managing a team, or writing a book. Often (though not always) the goal will be less specific, and the relationship more open-ended, than a coaching one.

Questions to ask: What’s the purpose of this relationship? How will we know when we get there? At what points will we review that goal?

2. Coaching and mentoring require different training

One of many coach Jane Lewis noted this important distinction:

“Generally a mentor is an expert in your mutual field; usually more expert and often better connected than you. A coach may know much or nothing about your field. Typically a mentor may be more directive BUT both – if they are any good- will demonstrate devoted listening skills, and great questioning ability.”

Jane’s touched on an important point here, which is that good mentors and coaches often have overlapping skills and even experience – both may be successful, good listeners, and have an aptitude for helping others to grow.

However, coaching is a distinct skillset in itself, and one which can be trained in specifically. Coaches use specific tools to help activate growth and empower you to take control of a particular area of growth.

A mentor, on the other hand, may simply be able to provide advice through virtue of their experience so far. That can be just as valuable, so long as you’re clear about what they can and can’t offer.

Questions to ask: What training have you completed? What kinds of strategies have you used to help other people? Will you be using these tools to help me reach my goal?

3. Coaching and mentoring cost different amounts

This is one of the most important differences to be clear on from the start, whether you are the person being coached or the one giving the support!

The expectations of mentorship vary greatly in different professions and organizations. In some, senior roles come with the expectation that mentoring less experienced colleagues is part of the equation. In others, mentorship is considered something to be paid for.

Coaching, by contrast, is more often expected to be paid for – if not by the person receiving it, then by the organization who have arranged the coaching. If you’re at all unsure then make sure you ask this question clearly.

And if you’re the person charging for the sessions, then needless to say you must make certain you have the clear understanding and agreement of the person you’re coaching before you begin.

Questions to ask: What is the expectation around payment? If I’m paying, what is included in the cost?

4. Coaching and mentoring take place over different timescales

There are no hard and fast rules here. But mentoring is more likely to be an open-ended or fluctuating arrangement, whereas coaching packages often last for a set length of time, and have sessions of a fixed length – typically one hour.

You might meet every quarter with a mentor to receive “big picture” advice on your career, and fortnightly with your coach for specific support around a goal.

Or a mentor might invite you to stop in for a quick chat whenever you have a query, or want to get their thoughts on a project, whereas your coach might set you tasks to complete in between fixed sessions.

Whichever is true for you, be sure to ensure that you leave space to review the arrangement, so that everyone’s clear about what will happen if things change, and when you’re finished working together.

Questions to ask: How many sessions will we have? How long will they last for? How will we know when it’s time to finish working together?

5. Coaching and mentoring ask different things of you

Coaching often involves significant transformation. It requires a level of trust on the part of both parties and a real commitment to growth on the part of the person being coached.

Mentoring, on the other hand, can be more about developing your skills within a specific profession. While calling on you to grow, there may be less of a personal growth focus and more attention paid to your abilities in practice.

Questions to ask: What’s expected of me in this relationship? What can I expect of you? What do we think will be the outcome of our work together?

Every relationship is unique

Mentoring and coaching are both hugely valuable processes – and both are relationships based on trust. As you can tell, although there are “rules of thumb” when it comes to expectations there are key areas where they can overlap, and so it’s really important to make sure expectations on both sides are clear before you start.

If you find yourself providing advice or guidance to other women, and are keen to develop your skills and gain clarity around how you can best support them, then take a look at the free online training:

“The Secret to Coaching Women: This Controversial Approach Will Transform the Results You Get With Your Team, Your Clients and Yourself.”

Click here to register and we’ll email you full details to access it.

It contains what I’ve found to be the “missing piece” of most coaching methodologies – and whether you’re a coach, manager or leader I think you’ll find the tools I share really helpful.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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What brings fulfilment in life?

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

If I asked you whether you wanted to feel fulfilled in your life – your work, your relationships, your contribution – you’d probably give a wholehearted YES, right? But if I asked how you could actually create that feeling: what brings fulfilment in life, or how we can know when we’re fully experiencing it, you wouldn’t be alone if you found it a bit harder to articulate.

Fulfilment is the answer to making a positive difference in the world without burning ourselves out. And yet many of us aren’t really clear on exactly what we mean by it, or how we can take practical steps to find fulfilment if it’s missing. Today I’m going to share 4 powerful questions you can ask yourself to discover how much fulfilment you’re currently experiencing in your life – and what you could do to increase it.

Fulfilment isn’t static

Before we start, a quick note on one thing I know to be true: Change is inevitable. As time goes by, what brings you fulfillment will also change. So if you find yourself wondering why something you once found fulfilling seems to have lost its sheen, don’t worry: There’s nothing wrong, and you haven’t made a “mistake”.

The trick to finding fulfillment throughout your life is to choose your activities wholeheartedly accordingly to what brings you fulfilment at each stage of your life… and then when that particular season of your life comes to an end, know that you can transition, and pivot into something new. You don’t have to burn bridges or forgo commitments.

What’s your life’s work right now?

In the following questions, I use the word “work” to describe your day to day activities. At BeFulfilled, the two-day retreat where we explore these themes in more detail, we use the phrase “life’s work” as a nod to the fact that this doesn’t have to refer to paid work or a career. Your life’s work might be:

  • Raising children
  • Making art
  • Being a carer for someone you love
  • Giving back to your community in some way.

How to use these questions

You might want to grab your journal and jot down your thoughts on these 4 points, or simply sit and think about how you’d answer them. Or why not forward this article to a friend and take it in turns to ask each other these questions?

However you choose to explore, it’s worth taking the time to consider which of these ingredients might need a little more attention in your life right now. 

4 ingredients of a fulfilled life

1. Do you find MEANING in your current work?

The first ingredient to fulfilment is meaning.

Finding meaning in what you’re doing doesn’t have to mean you’re engaged in profound or even stimulating activities every moment of every day. Raising children is certainly a meaningful job, but it sure as hell involves plenty of less-than-meaningful activities – most of them involving bodily fluids.

Perhaps your work has you mired in spreadsheets or grappling with awkward clients more often than you’d like, but overall do you feel a sense of meaning behind what you do? Does it fit into a bigger picture you’re invested in – whether for you personally, for your family, or for the planet?

Which leads me to the second ingredient when it comes to feeling fulfilled:

Contribution.

2. Does your work allow you to make a CONTRIBUTION in some way?

Contribution is the feeling that you’re giving something through the work you do. That you’re making a difference to the planet, or your community, or to other people. It will look very different for everyone.

It might be voluntary work that makes a difference to your local community. A position in academia that helps move research forward. Feeling that you’re developing and growing your team into truly outstanding individuals.

To what extent do you feel that your current work allows you to give something back to the world?

3. Does your work bring you JOY?

I’m not suggesting that fulfillment can only arrive when you’re in a state of constant happiness. (For starters, I’m not actually sure that exists). But if we don’t have an enthusiasm for what we’re doing each day, it’s hard to have a sense that we’re really as fulfilled as we could be.

Joy is a feeling that many of us weren’t taught to look for in our work, and yet when we experience it, it can be a catalyst for profound change and impact that’s far easier than if you’re gritting your teeth and “pushing through” each day.

How much joy do you currently experience? How could you find more?

The final ingredient is one that feels great when we get to really experience it:

4. Does your work give you opportunities for EXCELLENCE?

Whether it’s cleaning, coaching or managing million-dollar budgets, when you’re truly excellent at whatever it is you’re doing there’s an unparalleled feeling of satisfaction that arises. Excellence occurs when your gifts, talents and abilities are utilized to the full, so that you’re really aware that you’re doing your very best work.

Excellence is something we often value greatly in others but can sometimes find it hard to acknowledge in ourselves. Try thinking about the moments when you are most “in your flow” – when time seems to pass without you noticing, and you’re fully absorbed in whatever it is you’re doing. Often, they’re the times when you’re working in your most excellent way – and can lead to a sense of intense fulfillment when you look back at what you’ve achieved.

The fulfilment paradox

Of course, while we can identify certain ingredients that can lead to feeling fulfilled, it’s also true that fulfillment is just a feeling. An emotional state. There’s no litmus test anyone can perform to decide whether or not you “should” be feeling fulfilled right now.

If you’d like to explore the idea of fulfillment more deeply, or if you’re at a point where things are shifting and you know you’re being called to adapt what once worked for you, get in touch with our team to find out what tools and programs might make all the difference.

I’d love to know what you found came up for you as you read these questions. Are there any others you’d add? Share in the comments below.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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How to deal with emotions at work (or anywhere else)

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Have you ever noticed that it’s at the times when it’s most critical for things to flow smoothly that emotional challenges often come up? The massive row with your partner as you’re gearing up for a really important presentation. The blistering feedback from your boss, minutes before the crucial sales call with a prospective client. Today I want to share a process you can use to deal with emotions at work, or any time when something deeply challenging flares up at a really inconvenient time.

This isn’t about ignoring your emotions, or suppressing them in an unhealthy way. One of the characteristics of Superwoman – the archetype of our time, who achieves everything in her life at 100% no matter what – is her refusal to let an ounce of emotion detract her from her goals. If you know you have a tendency to “push through” no matter what, remember: ignoring your emotions completely doesn’t tend to pay off in the long term.

This is about making the powerful decision to put what you’re feeling right now in a metaphorical “box”. That allows you to wait until a more appropriate time to work through what’s happened and do what needs to be done to resolve it. So that in the meantime, you can be your most powerful and effective self once more.

When should you use this process?

The process I’m about to share is one that I use when I know I don’t have the capacity to deal with an emotional or challenging situation there and then.

There are some things in life we’re never “ready” to deal with – news of a terrible diagnosis, or a relationship breakdown, or an accident. It doesn’t make you cold hearted or uncompassionate to choose to process those feelings when you’re able to truly give them the space you need.

Most of us have many competing priorities. It’s important that you and your partner work through your difficulties; it’s equally important that you’re effective and perform to the best of your capability for the team relying on you to move the business forward.

This process is a way of acknowledging that multitude of roles, and honouring your varying responsibilities fully.

  1. Acknowledge what’s happened

Denial happens when we pretend the situation isn’t occurring, simply because we can’t deal with it. Ultimately that’s not helpful – in fact it only makes it more likely that we’ll suppress what we’re feeling, only for it to flare up unexpectedly.

Take a moment to acknowledge the bare facts of what’s happened.

My partner just told me I’m selfish.

My assistant has just resigned.

A client has asked for a refund.

2. Acknowledge your feelings.

This isn’t the same as what’s just happened! Your feelings are equally as valid, and very often they’re what are most uncomfortable and overwhelming.

This is the time to step into the Mother PowerType and “parent” yourself the way you would a small child. Tell yourself it’s OK to feel how you’re feeling.

You might want to journal it out, record a voice message to yourself on your phone, or just take a few minutes to breathe and name what your emotions are.

I’m really angry.
I’m so upset right now.
I’m in panic mode, I feel helpless.
I feel like a terrible person, I’m doubting my competence.

3. Decide when you’re going to deal with it

If you’re been blindsided by an emotional shock, you will need to make time to deal with it.

Superwoman will probably say you can handle whatever horrible news has come your way in 5 minutes, preferably while doing something else “useful” like cooking the dinner, driving home, or dealing with your accounts. Not true.

Depending on the magnitude of what’s just happened, you will need to make some time to really allow yourself the time you need to process it. You may need to cancel something less important than your emotional wellbeing. However much time you need, grab your diary now and decide when that will be.

When you’ve done the presentation.

When you get home and can have a face-to-face chat with your partner.

When you can go for a long walk in the woods at the weekend.

4. Put it to one side – and clear the energy

There are different ways you can do this. You might want to physically mime “putting the situation in a box” , or visualize a specific room or shelf where you’ll leave it.

If you find it challenging to put things aside then there’s an audio in the BeOne member’s resources I think you’ll find helpful. In it I go through this process in much more detail, including a specific practice that really helps me make sure my energy’s totally free of whatever emotions have come up. If you’re not already a member, you can click here to join the community and get access to this and lots of other helful resources.

Essentially, you need to feel that you’ve acknowledged and metaphorically “shelved” what you’re feeling, and then taken some steps to get yourself back to a place of balance.

That might be as simple as making yourself a cup of tea, having a quick stretch or a 5 minute walk, or even just taking ten deep, long breaths to connect you back to yourself.

The bigger the energetic shift you can make, the more effectively you’ll be able to transition back into that powerful state you were in before you were derailed. Is there a song that inspires you which you could listen to on headphones? Can you shake off the emotion, or find somewhere with an expansive view that will lift your spirits?

Replenish yourself in the way that feels good to you, knowing you can return to process these feelings at time when you’re more equipped to deal with them.

Building resilience

Most of the time, when an emotional curveball comes your way there’s very little you or anyone else can do about it. There’s no point getting into the “blame game” – reality is what it is – and the only thing you have control over is how you choose to handle it.

So it’s really important that we develop the skills of articulating when our emotions are at a peak, and recognize that it’s not always appropriate or possible to deal with energy upsets. Wasting your time worrying about how you’ll handle an unexpected crisis doesn’t help anyone, least of all you. But if you know you have a process you can use whenever you need to, you can feel confident that you’re able to honour all your responsibilities in the fairest and most effective way.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Can you do coaching certification online?

By

Annie Stoker

Annie Stoker

Master Trainer and Head of Coaching at One of many
Annie Stoker is perhaps the UK's most educated coach and trainer in what it takes to be happy. She has distilled 27 years experience in diverse psychological and spiritual perspectives into a simple but profound manual for the mind: The Personal Development Handbook.” She has coached influential figures, and been featured widely on TV, radio and in print.

Having experienced not just health and sickness, but also success and failure, marriage and divorce, wealth and poverty, Annie now knows that real growth is not another ‘let’s make it all ok’ campaign. It’s about finding the truth at the core of ourselves so that we have the inner freedom to deal with whatever life throws at us.
Annie Stoker

Latest posts by Annie Stoker (see all)

If you’ve decided that you want to become a coach you’re probably already excited about making powerful transformation a bigger part of the work you do in the world. Naturally you’re curious about how certification works – can you do coaching certification online? Do you need to choose a residential course? And what do you need to be aware of when choosing a coaching training program?

No two coaches are the same

Every coach embarks on their journey to certification with a totally unique background, set of experiences, and motivation.

You might be planning to add coaching tools to your existing work as a manager or a leader in a corporate setting. You’re confident that coaching is going to be the missing piece when it comes to radically shifting the results that are possible – in an environment that brings the very best out of the people you work with.

Or maybe you’re ready to go it alone. You want to set up your own business and run it exactly how you want to you – perhaps offer coaching sessions via Skype or phone from your home, and you’re wondering if you could do the certification process remotely too.
Here are some things to consider when choosing the coaching certification that’s right for you.

Coaching certification online

The beauty of technology means that these days it’s perfectly possible to undertake coaching training online from anywhere in the world.

Profound transformation can take place over video call; you can observe coaching sessions and receive feedback on your own practice remotely; and trainers can answer questions, provide support and help you reflect on challenges from anywhere in the world.

Advantages

  • Convenient no matter where you are or how easy it is for you to travel: if you’ve got an internet connection, you’re good to go
  • If you’re planning on coaching remotely, it makes sense to complete your training in the same format
  • You can choose the training provider that’s right for you regardless of their location

Disadvantages

  • If you’re on the other side of the world, timezones can be an issue – always check the times of live components to make sure you don’t miss out
  • If you never meet your peers or teachers face to face, it can take longer to develop rapport
  • Completing certification from your own environment means you’ll need to be disciplined about creating the appropriate space to learn

Coaching certification in-person

In a world that’s ever more connected digitally, face-to-face interaction has a unique quality. It feels richer and more potent than ever. The connection we feel and the learning we’re able to experience when we’re physically present has a very different quality to it. And the very act of travelling to a different location can help facilitate an even deeper learning experience.

So what are the pros and cons of completing your coaching certification in person?

Advantages

  • If you’re going to be coaching in person, for example of part of managing the team, having training that takes into account your body language and presentation is invaluable
  • No need to worry about creating an appropriate place to learn – that’s all taken care of for you
  • If you’re a kinaesthetic learner, in person training is likely to match your learning style better
  • The intense nature of setting aside back to back training days, means lessons can be integrated more deeply without the interruption of every-day life
  • You’ll make closer friends with your cohort of trainees- people who will be your peer support group as you venture into your new profession or role

Disadvantages

  • There may be additional costs for travel and accommodation
  • Your choice of training provider will be limited by your ability to travel
  • Your time commitment may need to be greater

What about a blend of the two?

Finally, there is the option of undertaking a certification which blends online and off-line components. This means you get to combine some of the advantages of both virtual and live courses. For example, we teach much of our own coaching certification remotely – allowing our trainees to observe coaching sessions, experience coaching, and be mentored on their practice.

Our five day intensive, on the other hand, is held in person and live. It’s when our coaching trainees come together in person to experience deep transformation and connect with their peers and our trainers in real life. At the moment it’s not an experience we think can be replicated online, meaning our global trainees travel to the UK to experience that part of the training. (They’ve flown to the UK from Australia, New Zealand, the Netherlands, Kuwait, Switzerland, Germany and the USA so far!)

Advantages

  • Different learning styles will suit different teaching methods, and you’ll get to experience the full range
  • Learning how to coach both in person and online will give you an insight into the differences each format brings to your coaching practice
  • Travel costs and time commitment will be significantly reduced if you can complete part of the training at home
  • A live component will allow you to connect more deeply with your training provider and your fellow students meaning your post-graduation support network is profound
  • Virtual spaces to learn and connect with trainers and peers can support you wherever you are in the world, no matter where your coaching takes you!

Disadvantages

  • You’ll still be responsible for some travel, and possibly accommodation
  • Dates for live elements are likely to be planned well in advance, and might not be flexible
  • Connections that are made in person may have to be maintained online depending on your proximity to the other trainees

However you do it, coaching training is transformational

When you train as a coach, you’re learning how to use tools and techniques that can create huge transformation for people.

During coach training you not only learn to work with these tools with your prospective clients, but you also experience what it’s like to receive coaching yourself.

So it’s important you choose the environment that is right for you, and which fits with both your learning style and the vision you have for your future coaching practice.

If you’re trying to make a decision about which coaching certification to choose right now and would like to talk through what’s available with a member of our team we’d be really happy to help. Just click here to contact us and we’ll be in touch to arrange the best time for a call.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Can’t make a decision? Try this

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

When you can’t make a decision the feeling of mounting pressure can be intense – and the impact of not taking action can be bigger than you think.

A while ago I coached a woman who absolutely hated her job. I mean, really hated it. She described herself as “feeling slowly suffocated” by the time she spent at work… and yet when we talked it through, she told me there were simply too many options.

  • Should she follow her passion for illustration and try to make it as an artist?
  • Should she create a business sharing the work of other illustrators, using her knowledge of the industry to support others?
  • Should she follow her other calling and become a coach?

The choice felt too tricky to make. And meanwhile, she was stuck in the same routine, spending her time in a place that she hated while she put off making the “wrong” decision.

If you can relate to that feeling of being stuck, I want to share a simple process that can help you. But first, let’s get clear about one thing.

Why make decisions faster?

There are some decisions that you clearly don’t want to rush. If you’re considering something like whether to remain in your marriage; uprooting your family to move halfway round the world; or taking on a massive investment in a renovation project, you’ll likely want to spend some time meditating on the best course of action.

But as a rule of thumb, the faster you’re able to make decisions, the more successful you’ll be.

That’s not because you’re necessarily choosing the best course of action every time. But whatever action you do take gives you feedback – even if it’s that “this isn’t working” – and the opportunity to course correct.

When you stop making decisions altogether, you’re losing that forward motion.

So instead of getting new and different feedback from each choice, you’re stuck in a loop of running over the same options, and the same potential outcomes, without getting anywhere.

Analysis paralysis

This is what we call being in “Analysis Paralysis”. It describes those times when you’re not just taking your time over a decision, but putting off making it all together.

When you’re in that place, the inertia and “stuckness” can start to creep into all kinds of other areas of your life.

  • It starts to chip away at your self esteem.
  • You begin to question yourself, and doubt your ability to make a choice.
  • And eventually, it can even spiral into depression or anxiety.

The faster we can make decisions, the faster we get feedback, the faster we know if we’re on the right path.

So how do you make a decision?

Whether you’re choosing between two options that seem equally good, or gritting your teeth to choose between options where nothing feels ideal, here’s a 5 step process to move you out of inertia and into action.

1. Call it what it is

You’ll know when you’ve moved from “weighing up options” and into paralysis – so be honest with yourself. After a certain amount of time, you’ll find you’ve tipped into a place where it’s no longer about making the “right” decision as making any decision.

Maybe you’ve just set up your own coaching business and you’re trying to decide what to launch with.

Should you offer a group program, one-on-one coaching, or host an event? The reality is, after a while, you’ll get to a point where leaving the decision any longer is going to wind up with you broke.

Doing nothing isn’t an option.

You’re stuck in analysis paralysis – and it’s time to move on to step 2.

2. Get into the right state

We use the 5 Women’s PowerTypes™ to inspire the most powerful versions of ourselves, and the PowerType connected to decision making is the Queen.

When you connect to the Queen PowerType you’re accessing a specific set of resources that will enable you to swiftly take action without second-guessing yourself.

The Queen is serene, decisive, and she’s also visionary: she sees the big picture, and she’s clear. She knows that decisions need to be made, and she also knows they can be difficult.

What’s powerful about the Queen when it comes to decisions is that she’s connected to her logic – she wants to gather all the information that she needs – but she also trusts her intuition to steer her right. Above all, she wants the best for everyone she cares about.

How can you connect to Queen energy? Try thinking about the qualities I’ve described here – is there someone you know, in real life or a public figure, who exemplifies them? What would your posture look like if you were the Queen? How would you look at this issue that’s got you foxed?

If you’d like more inspiration for accessing the Queen, click here to download Life’s Little Toolkit. Along with our favourite resources to help you meet life’s challenges, it contains a guide to all 5 Women’s PowerTypes and some playlists to help you connect to their essences.

3. Ask “what do I know in my heart?”

Once you’re in that Queen energy, ask yourself what you know in your heart.

Sometimes, when it feels as though you’re stuck, it’s because although you know what course of action you should take, you just don’t want to. Maybe it’ll make someone angry or upset someone, even though you know it’s the right thing to do.

Listen for the answer and list out everything you do know in your heart.

One of the biggest ways you can get stuck in decision making is when you start to focus on everything you don’t know.

So shift your focus. Write down everything you DO know about the situation, and trust yourself, as the Queen, to be able to use this when you move forward.

4. Ask “Do I have enough information to make this decision?”

The Queen is happy to make decisions; she knows it’s for the good of everyone in her realm. But she won’t make one unless she has all the information she needs.

Maybe you’re missing a key piece of information that would allow you to make a final choice. If that’s the case, work out what’s missing and take steps to get all the details you need.

It’s not about getting tangled in endless research! Work out what you need to know, and commit to taking action once you have it.

5. Now, make a decision

You’ve connected to Queen energy.

You’re clear on what you know in your heart.

And you’ve made sure you have all the information you need to make your choice.

Now is the time to move into action.

But because this is the part you’ve been avoiding, you might experience a bit of resistance here – what if you make the wrong decision?

Here’s the good news: once you’ve got stuck in analysis paralysis, in most cases there is no longer a “right” decision. The impact of being locked in procrastination and not going anywhere means that ANY action you take is going to improve things.

If you discover that the choice you’ve made doesn’t work out, that’s useful feedback that will allow you to course correct and move onto something else. But you won’t get that until you move into action.

So the woman I was coaching didn’t need to waste her time trying to predict exactly what she should do when she left her job. Having gone back and forth about what to do, the right decision was simply to take action and leave the job that was draining her.

Whatever comes next, trust that you’ll be able to handle it. Whilst every option remains hypothetical, it’s impossible to know how it will pan out or what the “best” step is.

What are you in analysis paralysis about? What are your challenges and how are you going to move forward? Let us know in the comments – let’s celebrate moving into action!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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How to manage women

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Irene Rosenfeld is the CEO of Mondelez International, one of the largest snack companies in the world. With $26 billion in annual sales, they count Oreos and Ritz crackers among their products, so it’s probably safe to say she knows a thing or two about managing people to have an incredible impact.

When asked for her best piece of advice, she shared this:

“I think my very best piece of advice is be yourself.

You know, I grew up in business at a time where there weren’t very many female role models, and so in the early days we wore little bow ties like the guys, and we talked about the Army even though we weren’t in the Army. And the reality was that wasn’t the right way to approach the business world.

Over time, there is more understanding of the value of diversity… [more opportunities] to be able to express ourselves and approach business in a way that makes the most sense for us.”

Interview with Sara Silverstein for Business Insider, 2017

A different style of leadership?

As Irene points out, it’s only relatively recently that women have played an active role in the workforce and been able to show up as ourselves in business.

As more and more of us begin to take leadership roles, and to nurture and support those rising up beneath us, the question of how to manage women is vital for us to consider.

Of course, Not all women are the same. There’s no “one way” to manage women any more than there’s “one way” to manage men.

But the growth of a more diverse and balanced workforce has triggered a healthy evolution of what was once a very uniformly patriarchal, masculine model of doing business.

As more and more women have risen to positions of leadership, we’ve all gained a greater understanding of the unique role women can play in helping businesses reach their goals.

This can help all of us, both women and men, approach business in a more nuanced way than before.

As Irene reflects,

“Our emerging workforce is not interested in command-and-control leadership. They don’t want to do things because I said so; they want to do things because they want to do them.”

Being a manager requires flexibility

Managing people works best when we understand that flexibility and openness to different ideas allows us to tap into the techniques which are most effective at any given time.

After all, all sorts of factors influence the best choices to make when it comes to managing our teams.

  • The current business environment
  • The length of time the individuals have been in post
  • Previous management styles
  • Company culture
  • Current priorities and goals for the business

And if you’re not in the corporate world, you can probably apply these to your own situation, or even your family (Teething toddler + family goal to get a solid night’s sleep? That’s a leadership challenge if ever I heard one!)

Managing women tends to flow best when we add into that context an awareness that most women experience regular cycles (whether or not they’re menstruating). Our mood, motivation and talents fluctuate, and will respond best to leadership that’s able to flex and adapt to that.

I’m not suggesting for one minute that you ask your team personal questions about their cycles, or ascribe poor performance to “hormones” or “women’s troubles.” After all, that would simply be perpetuating the idea that there’s one linear “norm” that anything else diverts from.

But try noticing how your team, whether they be men or women, are feeling at any given time.

Do they feel fired up, energetic, bursting with ideas? It could be a great time to harness that exciting energy to come up with new strategies…

Are they fed up and complaining? Maybe that decisiveness and awareness of what’s not working could allow you to trim unnecessary processes and get clarity on any areas that have felt fuzzy.

Women managing women

As women managing women, we also have our own cycles and flows to pay attention to. We have access to powerful styles of leadership that allow us to draw on our natural strengths and embrace the flow of our energy to maximise how effective and fruitful we can be.

When it comes to enhancing your strength as a leader and giving your team the best chance of getting on board with your plans, knowing your strengths and weaknesses is invaluable. It’s also helpful to know how your energy flows throughout the day, week or month, and which tasks and activities are optimum for you to undertake at each time.

Bringing this level of nuance to your own workflow will bring a fresh momentum that can completely revitalise your ability to reach and surpass your goals.

There’s no one size fits all

So, how to manage women? There’s no simple answer to that question. We’re creating a new paradigm of leadership, that involves paying attention to the people we work with and ourselves, and using that connection to find what works for us.

There’s no need to follow tired ways of doing things, just as there’s no need to reinvent the wheel without good reason. Staying open, following your instincts and never being afraid to shift things up or experiment is what will create the future we all want to see.

Do you want to transform the results you get with your team, your clients or yourself? Register for our complimentary training to explore this topic further and discover how the 5 Women’s PowerTypes ™ can be used in your coaching, consulting and management to bring the best out in the women you work with (and yourself). Click here to access The Secret To Coaching Women.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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How to start a coaching business

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Imagine:

  • Spending your days with inspiring clients, watching them go on to make a massive difference in their communities.
  • Supporting women to step into their power with powerful choices that work for them and their families.
  • Choosing your hours, playing to your strengths and getting paid for what you love to do.

Sounds like a dream come true, doesn’t it – but surely being a coach can’t be all roses?

What do you need to be aware of before taking the leap? If you’ve ever wondered about making the shift to become a coach, but felt like you wouldn’t know where to start, then here are five things to bear in mind.

How to start a coaching business in 5 steps

1. Find your “big why”

Any big transition in life, but especially one like training as a coach, needs purpose. After all, to become a coach you’ll need to invest time, energy and money, and knowing your reason for doing that is what will keep your motivation and momentum going.

In Simon Sinek’s groundbreaking book, Start With Why, he explored how the greatest leaders used their “Big Why” to inspire others. So what’s your “Big Why” for becoming a coach?

For many women in our community, coaching will allow them to make a real difference to causes they’re truly passionate about. Take Anna.

“6 out of every 100 UK people experience domestic abuse. 6.7% of all women. 1 in 4 LGBT women (from their partners). Around 80% of trans people. Half of all gay and bi men (from partners or family members). One of those women is me.

When I imagine the world in 7 generations time, I want to see these figures be drastically different, or even gone.

My next commitment to this future is to complete my One of Many coaching certification to work alongside Newcastle Women’s Aid to offer coaching to the women who access their service, to help them reclaim their soft power and move forward into fruitful, vital, happier lives. To help them lead more change in the world when they can.” – Anna Knight

Playing an active part in building the future we want to create is a huge driver for many coaches. Through supporting and championing their clients, they’re able to create a “ripple effect” that has an impact far beyond their individual contribution.

Your “Big Why” might be about empowering corporate leaders to make courageous decisions, or helping mums reconnect to themselves after having children. It could be something totally different! Get clear on what it is, and you’ll find that every other action you take flows from that well of inspiration.

2. Get qualified

Coaching is much more than a conversation or supportive words. The greatest, and most successful, coaches have a whole wealth of tools at their disposal as well as the confidence to lead their clients through complex and sometimes challenging transformations.

Our One of many women’s coaching certification is a rigorous program designed to give you all the skills you need to become a confident and effective coach. Our graduates are trained in using unique, cutting edge and proven tools to unleash the leadership potential of the women they work with – and through our comprehensive training, have the full support to practice and implement them.

There are lots of coaching certifications out there, and they’re all different – so do your homework before making an investment. Some things to consider might be:

  • What’s the focus of the program, and does it fit with my values?
  • How do the organizers respond to questions? Can I have a conversation with someone to check if this is the right fit for me?
  • What’s the feedback like from previous graduates?

If you could do with a hand comparing the different options, feel free to get in touch and someone in the office will be happy to talk them through.

3. Figure out what you’re selling

So you’ve done your training, got your qualification, and you’re ready to get started. Fab! Now what?

Well, some of our graduates decide they want to use the tools they’ve learned within an organization, to help them manage their teams and lead more effectively. But if you decide to set up your own business, there’s a really key thing to bear in mind. A lot of coaches make the mistake of trying to get clients by selling them “coaching”.

When the truth is, the impact you’ll have on your clients isn’t that you’ll have “coached” them. It’ll be in:

  • The pay rise they’re finally able to ask for (and get!)
  • The connection and trust that’s returned to their relationship
  • The clutch of anxiety they used to feel every day when they wake up has melted away

See the difference? Build a business around the changes you help your clients make, rather than the way you help them get to that change, and you’ll find clients much easier to come by.

4. Make sure you have support

As your work grows and evolves, nothing beats having a group of equally committed and excited peers to keep you on track, help you navigate challenges, and support you as your business expands. (Our coaching grads stay in touch via our private Facebook group – a place to celebrate each other, share challenges and ask questions.)

You might also want to investigate a coaching mentor going forward – someone to help suggest areas of growth and development, and help support you through any tricky times. Ask any training provider how they support their coaches and what network you’ll have access to in future.

5. Plan your transition

You’re inspired – coaching is for you, and you’re ready to sign up and get started. Time to wave goodbye to the day job, set up a website, and watch the clients roll in, right?

Well, we’d certainly love that to be your experience – but the reality is, making any change takes time. All sorts of factors will impact how quickly coaching can become your main focus, including your finances, time, and other commitments.

Take the time to plan the transition, get advice and support when you need it, and reach out to others doing the same thing.

If you’re thinking about coaching and have a question, post it in the comments below! And if you’re already a coach, let us know what lessons you’d share with someone just starting out. Your experience might make all the difference.

Time for a change?

If you’d like to find out more about our coaching training, click here to read the full details. The first step is to book in a no-obligation chat with one of our team so we can find out if this would be a great fit for you. Just click the button at the bottom of the page to schedule a call.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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When to say no to your boss

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

You know you have to say no if you’re going to make progress on what you’re actually trying to achieve at work. But one of the most challenging times to uphold your boundaries can be when the request you’re declining comes from your boss, a client, or someone else in a position of authority. You respect them, you have a role to respond to the tasks they ask of you, and you probably work with them pretty closely. So when is it appropriate to turn down what’s being asked of you? How do you know when to say no to your boss?

When to say no to your boss

Of course, there are some clear situations when it’s definitely necessary to say no. If you’re being asked to do something illegal, unethical or immoral, for example, most of us would feel pretty confident in taking the right course of action and letting them know that’s not okay.

But what if your “no” is more of a grey area? If you’re saying no to something because you have too many other things on your plate, for example, or because there’s something happening at home that’s impacting your capacity to absorb extra tasks?

Here are 3 times when it’s good to say no

Say no before you’re overwhelmed

If you’re someone who’s motivated by feeling helpful and getting approval from those in senior positions, it can be easy to find yourself saying “yes” to every request that comes your way.

The trouble with that approach is that eventually, it all tends to mount up on top of you. 

The pressure builds until, whether through sickness, burnout or overwhelm, you can find yourself at breaking point. That’s when you have no choice but to say “no” because you’re simply not able to function any more.

If you notice the signs of burnout appearing, or you’re starting to feel overwhelmed, anxious or unwell, it’s time to say no to some of the things on your plate.

“It’s fine for you to ask me to do extra things but I’m going to have to say no to some of them. I’ve been doing a lot lately, and I need some time to recharge right now.”

Say no when you’re replenished

If you’re asked to do something that feels as though it might not be possible, it’s OK not to respond straight away. It sounds obvious but it can make a huge difference to your judgment, and the way you convey your response. Let the person know that you need some time to see if you can accommodate them, and that you’ll get back to them.

“I have a lot on right now – I’ll see if I can fit this in and get back to you.”

Seeing that you’re taking the time to consider a request is reassuring to the person asking. It shows you take your commitments seriously, and that you value completing the tasks you do competently.

Take some time to have a drink, eat if you’re hungry, go to the loo or take a few deep breaths. You’ll find it easier to convey the reasons for your “no” more clearly when you’re filled up rather than running on empty.

Say no when you’re clear on your priorities

When you’re someone who’s competent and capable it’s easy to become the office “go-to” for all kinds of requests. After all, you:

handled that challenging client…

unblocked the photocopier…

formulated the perfect wording… so beautifully before, right?

If it’s a task you love, you might be happy to say yes. (If you’re thinking of shifting your career, for example, it can be great development to have the opportunity to experiment with tasks outside your normal role).

But if it’s something that’s way outside your remit, and you know the person is asking because they think you’ll say yes rather than because it’s your job, then ask yourself if what they’re asking really fits with your priorities. Is this part of the difference you’re here to make to the team or the business?

“I’m focusing on [Big Goal] right now, and that’s my main priority. So I can’t help with  [request] today.”

Framing your no with reference to your shared goals is a powerful way to remind others that your time is just as important as theirs. If they’re persistent, let them know what you’ll need to re-prioritise in order to help them out: so they’re absolutely clear on the impact their request will have.

Say no whenever you want

You’re a grown woman, and it goes without saying that you can absolutely say no to whoever you want, whenever you want. You don’t need my, or anyone else’s permission for that.

But if you want your “no” to be powerful, effective and impactful – and not to burn bridges or hurt feelings – then it’s worth thinking about how you express it.

When did you last say “no”, and how was it received? Did you learn anything from the experience: either strategies you’d use in future, or something you’d definitely avoid? Share your experience in the comments.

Want to say no with confidence and be respected every time?

Enough is Enough is our free guide to creating unshakeable boundaries and reclaiming your space. Click here to download your free copy.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Time management tools for women

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

The statistics speak for themselves. In 2018, according to the UK’s biggest survey into stress and its impacts, 81% of women said they felt overwhelmed or unable to cope in the past year. (That’s compared to 67% of men). So if you’re searching for the perfect time management approach for women with too much to do and too little time to do it in, we hear you.

Staying on top of everything you’ve got on your plate is no easy task.

But all too often, the time management or productivity advice we’re given just doesn’t seem to work. Can you relate?

It’s incredibly frustrating to spend ages researching systems for getting organized and boosting productivity… only to find that the miracle new app or “revolutionary” system works for a week or two at best, before you’re frazzled and fed up once more.

The answer? It may be that the time management tools that work best for us as women require strategies that aren’t always taken into account by traditional advice.

If you’ve tried every other time management tool on the market and nothing seems to work, consider these 3 shifts to how you approach the tasks on your to-do list:

1. Stop thinking about time

One of the biggest issues with time management tools is that the clue to what they focus on is in the name: time.

It’s taken for granted that you can achieve a certain amount in a certain amount of time. So, over the course of a day, you might have 8 hours in which to complete your allotted tasks. In that case, it’s just a time of slotting them all into place… like a giant jigsaw. Right?

Not quite. At One of Many™ we’ve found it’s more helpful to focus less on the time you have available each day, and more on the energy you are able to draw on at any given time.

After all, an hour after an amazing night’s sleep, at a time of the month when you’re feeling energetic and gregarious, is going to look a whole lot different than a Friday afternoon, bloated-and-miserable hour when you’re utterly depleted and just want to crawl into bed.

If time management feels like it’s just scratching the surface, perhaps it’s time to reframe what you’re trying to achieve. Start thinking about what you need to get done not in terms of how long each task will take, but what kind of energy you need to complete it.

2. Use your cycle

When you’re looking at your tasks in terms of energy, the obvious question becomes: how can you know what energy you will have available to you, and when?

Now, there are always going to be unpredictable ebbs and flows in your energy. If you’re a parent, you never know when someone’s going to get sick, or have a bad night, and need soothing that comes at the expense of mum’s rest. There are sudden flare-ups at work, and deadlines that can leave you unexpectedly depleted – we all get sick, or have off-days from time to time.

But if you start making a note of your energy levels at different times, you’ll almost certainly start noticing a pattern or a cycle. Even if you’re not menstruating, energy tends to follow predictable waves – from the very simple pattern of having more energy early in the morning, or the classic post-lunch slump, to noticing you’re more extroverted or creative at certain times of the month.

Pay attention to your individual rhythm and you’ll likely start to see why time management tools can only work for so long. It might be that you’re enthusiastic about embracing a new system until that one week of the month when it feels as though the world’s crashing down around you. Adjust accordingly – and see what difference that makes.

3. Start saying no

This might not be what you want to hear if you’re the kind of woman who prides herself on everything she manages to get done. I get it. We want to be amazing mums, loving partners, and world changing leaders. We want to be successful and we want to make big change in our corner of the world.

But whether we’re talking about time or energy, one thing is clear: we only have a finite amount of space to do what we want to. Getting really good at discerning what you want to spend your time on, and having clear boundaries around what you don’t want to focus on, is essential if you’re going to be able to be the leader you want to be.

The bottom line is, time management is never about amassing techniques so that you can get even better at doing even more stuff that’s not important. It’s about getting crystal clear on who you are, and what your difference is to make – and getting rid of anything that actually doesn’t fulfill or serve the difference that you’re put on this planet to make.

How about you –what’s your approach to productivity and time management? Have you found tools that you love, or is there a particular aspect that’s still a challenge? Let us know in the comments below – someone else might have exactly the solution you’re looking for!

Want to get to grips with how you use your time?

If you’re feeling overwhelmed and as though things are getting on top of you, then you’re not alone. 81% of us find ourselves there from time to time. So we’ve developed a really simple tool to get you back on track. It’s called the Overwhelm First Aid Kit and it’s helped thousands of women take back control of their busy lives. You can download it free by clicking here.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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What is true financial freedom?

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

What is true financial freedom? The phrase has a delicious ring to it – but for an awful lot of us the actual definition isn’t clear. The reality is, unless you know what you’re aiming for, it’s impossible for you to create strategies that will get you there.

When it comes to financial empowerment, too many of us get confused about the basics – like what is true financial freedom – meaning we don’t focus our energy where it’s most effective.

And this stuff matters. According to CNN, the largest growing economic force in the world isn’t China or India – it’s women. We account for 85% of all consumer purchases. If we were all able to make conscious, empowered choices around what we spend, rather than making those decisions unconsciously, we really could change the world.

Financial empowerment is a really important strand of our work here at One of many, because our finances are one area where a lot of us experience a great sense of disempowerment. To be clear, I’m not just talking about how much money you have.

When I talk about financial empowerment, I mean being really clear on what your financial situation is, taking responsibility for it, and understanding the strategies you need to move forward to the next level of growth. Without that level of understanding of wealth, you won’t be truly empowered.

What is true financial freedom?

So what is true financial freedom? The first thing a lot of us think of is an emotional state.

“When I’m no longer stressed about money” or “Never having to think twice about buying what’s best for my family.”

Sound familiar? But these kinds of woolly definitions can actually hold us back, because they don’t give us a clear sense of what we need to do in our lives right now to change things.

(After all, it’s perfectly possible to have millions in the bank and still think twice about buying things – or to be earning very little, but feel great clarity about how you’re moving forward.)

At One of many, financial freedom has a very specific meaning, and that’s what I want to share with you today. It’s one of the 4 stages in our “pyramid of wealth” – a really simple model we use to help us understand where we are financially.

The 4 stages of wealth

1. Stability

Let’s say you work for a salary of $30,00 per year, and your living expenses come to $30,000 – you’re at stability. Your earnings equal your outgoings. At the end of each month, you’ve got nothing left over in the bank account, but your expenses and your income is steady.

2. Security

If you’re earning $50,000 and your expenses are $40,000 per year, you’re probably at stability. Your expenses are covered by your earned income, with a little bit left over. At this stage, your family has a “rainy day” fund that means you’ve got the money in the bank to cover your expenses for the next 3–12 months. You’ve also got relevant wills and insurances in place to make sure you’re covered in the event of an unexpected emergency.

3. Independence

This is the “financial freedom” which a lot of us find hard to define. We describe it very simply: At this stage, whatever your living expenses are, they’re covered by the money generated by your assets – like income from property or stocks and shares.

Any amount of money you earn is a bonus because at this level, your living expenses are covered by your asset income. In other words, once you reach financial freedom, you don’t have to work any more to maintain your standard of living: your investments will cover your day to day costs.

4. Affluence

The final stage of wealth is affluence. As with independence, your living expenses (say $100,000 per year) are completely paid by the income from your assets.

This is the point at which you begin to diversify – to invest in lots of different assets, and to begin to understand how you can make a difference with the money you invest. At this stage, we start to become interested in what we can invest in, and begin to understand entire markets and the part we can play in them.

When we don’t have stable finances

You might be reading this thinking “Jo, that’s all well and good – but I’m not sure I’m on the pyramid at all!”. Maybe you’re a self-employed person experiencing “feast and famine”, your expenses seem to vary wildly, or you’re just not sure what your finances really look like.

First of all, you’re not alone! Instability is the step most of us are at before we get onto the pyramid, and it’s worryingly common among women. (After all, for a long time, women weren’t permitted to have any access to money, or educated about how to manage it – and these old patterns often persist.)

How do I change the stage I’m at?

Step one: Instability to stability

The key to making this first transition is accountability. This means tracking exactly what all of your incomings and outgoings are and being accountable for earning income. (At this stage, sometimes the simplest thing to do is to get a job.)

Step two: Stability to security

Accountability isn’t enough here, because reaching security means increasing your income or reducing your expenses. Now, the key is finding your flow. That might look like doing something you’re passionate about so your ability to earn income is greater, or tapping into a bigger flow of money by aligning yourself with a business or organization where the money is flowing.

This is something we explore at a much deeper level at BeWealth, where we use the Energy Outcome Matrix to get clear on the different elements to wealth creation and tell us where we need to be focused.

Step three: Security to freedom

Achieving financial freedom requires learning about investment: investing in oneself; investing in assets; or perhaps investing in teams to run your business for you. Just earning more won’t make that change. Now, the focus is on investing in assets which can generate money. And for many of us, the first step to that is investing in our own education so we can feel confident about making those decisions wisely for us and our families.

Step four: Freedom to affluence

The final stage of the pyramid is all about balance. We learn how to balance different kinds of assets, and to understand the balance sheets which tell us what’s going on in our finances. We also learn to balance our own energy, so that we’re paying attention evenly to every area where we spend energy.

Take action today

Finances can bring up all kinds of emotions and triggers for a lot of us, and it’s not surprising to find that there’s a temptation to “stick our heads in the sand” and ignore what’s going on. Looking at wealth in stages like this helps us understand where we’re at without judgement or emotion, but simply asa stage on a journey. So today, get honest with yourself: where are you right now?

Wherever you are, take a few minutes to notice the habits and the thinking that have got you to that level and be grateful for that. But notice that the same habits and thinking could keep you stuck here. What is it you need to get to the next level? In the next twelve months, what’s the big thing you know you need to do to change your financial circumstances and be in a place where you’re ready to move to the next stage?

The more we talk about these things, the more we can support each other to get empowered when it comes to money, relationships and health. If this is helpful to you, let us know in the comments below!

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