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Guest post: 5 reasons women are still taking a back seat in their own careers

By

Erica Sosna

Erica Sosna

Founder | Creator | Storyteller

Erica Sosna is the creator of The Career Equation® and CEO of Career Matters. She has 20 years of expertise in leadership, employee engagement and career management and is author of Your Life Plan (Wiley) and the forthcoming Career Equation (2021). Her clients include: Capital One, Mastercard, Savills and Dassault Systemes .
Erica Sosna

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Women in the workplace. We’re fierce. We’re doing great things. Our mothers and several generations of ancestors fought hard for us to have a seat at the table.

I’m 41. I’m of the generation that was told we could do anything we set our minds to. That the glass ceiling was no longer relevant for us. Yet, as a careers coach for professional women, I experience that we have yet to overcome the challenges that face us.

I’d like to share a bit with you about my experience of the challenges we face in defining, driving and owning our careers and a simple model I think can really help define our career paths and establish a solid starting point for effective career conversations.

If you want to know more about career conversations, then you can find out more by downloading our free guide at the bottom of this article.

But first, let’s agree on the obstacles.

A lack of generational opportunity

We were told anything is possible. Yet the gender pay gap, numbers of senior women in major organisations and the discrimination cases of #MeToo tell us that this not the whole story. Many workplaces were designed by men, for men, so the way that opportunities arise and are allocated doesn’t always give women a dignified and level playing field. We end up trying to be Superwoman and it’s not sustainable; our health and relationships suffer.

Poor career advice

Poor careers advice early on in life meant many of us didn’t get to align a deep level of self-knowledge with the opportunities in the world of work. Thus, most of us fell into our careers rather than chose them. Imagine how different your career path might have been if you’d known about the Women’s Powertypes™, for example, when you were deciding which path to take.

This lack of support leaves us as women potentially confused and doubtful about whether we made the right choices.

Lisa Harris from the Open University expressed what so many women experience;

“I was inhibiting myself with my own preconceived ideas about what my career should/could look like in the future.”

Traditional views on careers

Until the last decade a career was defined by long-term period of stability spent in one or two organisations, following an established track into becoming an expert at senior level in your chosen profession. You didn’t have to think too much about it because your company decided on your future for you.

In the new world, the job for life is err… dead.

New roles are cropping up all the time. Job titles are becoming more and more abstract. The work we most need to do may not have existed a decade ago. We’ve got flexible working, remote working, fixed term contracts and we need to be a whole lot more adaptable so we can redefine and reposition ourselves as the world of work changes.

What is success?

In this new world, the question of how you even define success becomes more and more important. We have been traditionally taught that success is about more money, seniority or status. It’s about ambition and climbing the greasy pole. But what if success is unique for each of us? And defined more by the experiences we want to have and the kind of life we want to lead?

Gilly Orr, now working as a Fund Development Director for Social and Sustainable Capital told us;

“I didn’t realise it was possible to find a job I was both good at and that would make me happy.”

How can we hear ourselves think about what truly matters to us and connect to it in a world that has got increasingly ‘loud’, bombarding us with media and messaging about how our work and lives are ‘supposed’ to be?

Changing aspirations over time

The fact is, that this definition also changes over time. Maybe a role with lots of travel was fantastic when you were twenty but is exhausting as you approach mid-life. What we find fulfilling evolves as we do and as life circumstances and priorities shift, we need a way to re-evaluate where work sits within our wider life context.

Additional to these obstacles is the way we as women hold ourselves back.

Stephanie Aitken, an In-House Trainer with One of many who also runs her own successful corporate coaching and training business told us:

“In my experience there are 3 key things that hold women back from wanting to step up in their career, I call them the “3Cs”.

They are:

  • Capability – I doubt I have enough skills or expertise to do the role
  • Congruence – I fear I’ll burnout and/or lose precious time with my family
  • Confidence – I struggle to share my ideas with conviction and claim my place at the table.”

With all this stacked against us, it’s clear we need tools to help us define and own our careers.

What is a career anyway?

At Career Matters, we define a career as a series of choices that explore how you align your gifts with how you spend your time and earn your money.

To navigate these choices effectively and thus feel empowered and in charge of your own career path, you need 3 things:

  • To be able to define what success means to you
  • Selection criteria for roles and opportunities based on that definition
  • To know what value you add and where you do your best work.

The Career Equation®

The Career Equation® is a simple word equation which helps define the four components of a fulfilling career. I am sharing the model with you so you can build your own equation and use it to define the work that best suits you.

Here’s how it works:

Skills

We say people are happiest when they work in an area of skill or strength.

When you do something you are good at and aim to become exceptional at it, you will experience a good deal of satisfaction.

Passions

We want to apply these key skills to an area of interest or ‘passion’.

Passion relates to subjects that arouse your curiosity or enjoyment. It also applies to behaviours or activities that cause you to feel so absorbed you lose track of time – for instance solving problems or making art.

Lizzie Clark is a print fashion designer and hit upon the value of recognising her passions;

“I found the knowledge of myself so powerful. It really is as simple as selecting the aspects I love and thrive with to create something I can refer to for focus and direction.”

When you apply your skills to an area of interest or to a passion, your satisfaction and your results grow. This is amplified even further when the goal or objective of our work lines up with our values. This is what we call impact.

Impact

We all define and measure our success in different ways. So it makes sense for you to understand how you define success and get clear on how you will track it. Understanding your Women’s Powertype Profile™ can be invaluable here. Do you want flexibility to work on your own terms? Being a leader in your field? Or the chance to deliver real results to customers?

These top three elements of The Career Equation® help you identify who you are and what matters to you. This clarity can be enhanced or compromised by the fourth element – the ground beneath your feet – we call this your level of ‘environmental fit. ‘

Environmental Fit

When a working style, culture, office environment or pace of work suits your personality, you thrive. When the two are not in alignment, you can struggle. It is important that you have the self-knowledge to know in what context you do your best work. Some elements of the environment can be open to change. Others are pretty fixed across the entire business. For example, you might be able to gain more autonomy by asking for it or moving to a different area but you may not be able to change the IT infrastructure!

The Career Equation® can help you identify what’s working and what needs adjustment. It can also help you articulate the kinds of work you are looking for. And best of all, it will give you clarity about what you really want out of work, so you can go and get it!

How to Use the Career Equation® to Manage and Review Your Career Path

The Career Equation® works because it separates the four elements that shape your ideal career path.

  1. Begin by making four lists under the four elements of Skills, Passion, Impact and Environment. Notice where there is common ground. What do you currently use or under-use?
  2. Next consider your current work. If you were going to change anything in your work to better fit with your list of requirements, what would you change and why?
  3. Last, think about your top 3 criteria in each category. If you were to brainstorm new roles or new work that suited these criteria, what would your career path and life design look like?

And if you know your Women’s Powertype Profile™, you can incorporate the self-knowledge that gives you into The Career Equation®. It’s a powerful way of identifying your gifts; helping you achieve more whilst staying true to yourself.

Stephanie reinforces this by saying

“I’ve seen time and again how the PowerTypes™ give women access to resources they didn’t realise they had, helping them overcome obstacles and powerfully drive their career forward. Such as the Queen’s ability to communicate clearly and decisively, the Warrioress’ self-belief and determination to take action and the Lover’s commitment to self-care so that she remains healthy and resilient.”

About the Career Equation®

The Career Equation® is one year old! In 2019 alone it helped 1,200 people understand their personal definition of success, helping them find a fulfilling career path.

Kirsty Riglar from Dorset Council worked through The Career Equation® and told us she loved the way “it provided me with a variety of tools that let me focus on what I can do and what I want to do in terms of my own career development.”

Learn how to use The Career Equation® for more engaging and usable career conversations in your company with our FREE guide.

It’s full of new ideas, interesting facts and guidance. It also has a template email to help you get started with your career conversations and an editable planner so you can plan and implement your own career conversations in 2020.

Use this information as a signpost or map, coming back to it periodically to check your career is moving in the direction you want it to move in. Your career is a series of choices; you alone have the power to change it for the better.

Download it here.

About Erica

Founder | Creator | Storyteller

Erica Sosna is the creator of The Career Equation® and CEO of Career Matters. She has 20 years of expertise in leadership, employee engagement and career management and is author of Your Life Plan (Wiley) and the forthcoming Career Equation (2021). Her clients include: Capital One, Mastercard, Savills and Dassault Systemes .

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3 people every leader needs on her team

By

Joanna Martin

Joanna Martin

Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin

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If you want to be the most effective leader you can be, you can’t do it on your own. Sometimes that means making sure you have specialist support on a nitty-gritty level – team members to delegate to, or support around practical things like childcare. But today I want to talk about 3 people every leader needs on her team beyond those specific roles. These are essential levels of support for your growth on a wider level, and if you’re serious about making a difference they’re not to be ignored.

What do we mean by team?

Before we start, a quick note on what I mean by “team”. I’m not talking necessarily about the people you work directly alongside, or manage, as part of your day to day job. They might not be directly connected to your current role at all. Here, I’m using team in a much wider sense – the people you’re connected with who can help you move in the direction of your goals.

A metaphor we often use in our leadership training is that of the “leader as weaver”. In a piece of fabric, every single strand is supported by – and supports in turn – every other strand. We can’t point to a beautiful bolt of silk and say that this strand is more important than that one. Every single one is important.

When you think about your unique and vital role in this world, it’s really helpful in my experience to remember that you’re not doing it on your own. Your role, and your purpose, is unique to you. But in fulfilling your life’s work, you’ll also be supporting a whole network of others – the other “threads” which are touching yours – in big and small ways.

And in turn, everyone you come into contact with has the potential to enable you to shine that little bit brighter. So today I want to walk you through 3 really important people you’ll want to have in your wider network in order to make you the most effective leader you can be.

3 people every leader needs on her team

1. A sponsor or mentor

Let’s start with sponsors and mentors. If you imagine a grid network of threads in a piece of fabric, with you in the middle, we could think of them as being above you. That’s not to say they’re more important, but when it comes to the difference you’re trying to make they might just be a little bit further along the path.

I define mentors very simply as people who have walked the path before you. They care about you and they’re available to answer questions, but they’re not proactively furthering things for you all the time, necessarily.

Sponsors, on the other hand, are a particular subcategory of mentors, which are people who have a very vested interest in your success – people who really want to open doors for you.

  • If you’re in an organization it might be someone in the C Suite that’s taken a particular interest in your journey
  • It might be someone inside your church group who’s really watching out for you and checking in on you every Sunday
  • It might be a teacher or facilitator who you connected with some years ago, and have stayed in touch with

It’s someone who deeply cares about your career path, or deeply cares about the wellbeing of your project. Someone who, for whatever reason, is particularly interested and is actively working for you, almost as much as they work for (and sometimes maybe even more) than they work for themselves.

If you’ve experienced that kind of support, you can probably recall how good it feels. Mentors and sponsors have the wisdom and experience to reassure you when you hit a bump in the road, or to remind you that you’ll make it through the specific challenges you’re facing. They might have specific advice or they may simply be there to say “keep going – you’re doing great” or “this is always how it feels at this stage”.

They may be able to smooth your path and make introductions; warn you of potential pitfalls and difficulties; or put your day-to-day difficulties into perspective.

Sponsors and mentors: a warning

If you’ve only got sponsors and mentors, you can run the risk of feeling “less than”. Which makes sense, doesn’t it? You’re only comparing yourself to those that are further along or more awesome.

In fact, in a worst-case scenario you can sometimes find yourself falling into victim mode, or getting a bit co-dependent and saying things like “This isn’t working because my mentor is not doing what they should be.”

Over the years I’ve mentored a lot of business people, and sometimes people join Business Masterminds thinking that my role as leader is to somehow “fix” whatever’s not working for them. It’s an unhelpful mentality, which rather than helping you grow can ultimately hold you back.

The best way to guard against that is to make sure the other elements of your support network are in place.

2. A charge, or mentee

Now, going back to this idea of a woven “grid” pattern, when a fabric is woven together there are also going to be threads running beneath yours. These are just as important as the ones above you when it comes to supporting you and holding you in place.

These are the people I call your charges, or mentees. People for whom you’re a bit further on the path, and who you’re helping along.

A charge is the flipside of the mentor/sponsor – someone very special, who you care about, and who you’re wanting to get doors open for.

So you might be acting as a sponsor to them and really driving things forward, actively networking on their behalf and helping create opportunities.

Or perhaps you’re in more of a mentor role, there to answer questions or perhaps have informal check-ins on a regular basis, just to share the benefit of your experience.

If you’re being mentored by someone yourself and you’ve found yourself falling into the trap of only comparing yourself to them, then becoming a mentor to someone else can be an incredibly powerful experience. Suddenly, you’ll become aware of how much you do know about your industry or profession. You might find there are aspects of your role you’ve been completely taking for granted – but when you’re asked about them, you realize that you really do have some expertise to share.

One surprising bonus of having a charge is that they can also bring a fresh perspective. The Zen concept of “beginner’s mind” states that someone who’s new to a challenge often has far more ideas for how to solve it, because they’re not constrained by ideas of how things are “always done” or that “could never work”. So being a mentor can help invigorate your own work in surprising ways.

Alyssa Wrapp is the managing partner of AJR venturers, a management lecturer at Stanford University, and a wife and mother. In a piece for Forbes magazine she shared the benefit she’s found of ensuring she has both these kinds of support in her network:

“As a mentee, I have benefitted from the deep experience of people who have made a personal investment in me; as a mentor, I have accelerated other people’s learning and career growth just by investing time and insight, which has been incredibly gratifying. Furthermore, when I take the time to mentor someone, my company or organization often benefits from this relationship.”

Alyssa Wrapp

3. Peers

The third pillar of support that’s essential for you as you contnue your leadership journey is your peers. One way to think about them in this “fabric” metaphor would be as the vertical threads running along either side of you.

Your peers are those people that are at the same level as you on the journey. Not further along the path, not less along the path, but about the same level.

They’re there to champion and cheerlead you, have fun with you, and inspire you when you’re feeling a bit down. They might be a group you’re a part of, like a mastermind, or your cohort in an extended program like our year-long Lead the Change leadership training.

In your workspace, they’re people who are at roughly the same level as you when it comes to experience and responsibilities; they might be your fellow mums, or your business network.

When you get together with people who are on exactly the same part of the journey as you, you get to laugh about stuff together. Often, there’s a real relief that comes with poking fun at the daily frustrations of your role or debriefing about what you’ve recently learned. That kind of cameraderie can really lift you up.

If you don’t have peers, and you’ve only got those that you’re looking up to, and those that you’re helping along, it can feel like a pretty lonely old journey. Because you don’t necessarily feel the fun, and the love, and the inspiration with those relationships. And they’re not as attuned to the details and the challenges that you’re experiencing day in and day out on your path.

Connected, integrated, aligned

Every layer of this support is necessary if you’re going to truly thrive as a leader.

Because without this strong fabric of support, we can end up feeling quite isolated. We can feel alone. We can end up in superwoman. And we can feel either smarter than everyone or dumber than everyone depending on which elements of the fabric are missing.

So, we want to be able to orientate ourselves as close to the truth of how things are and feel as supported as is possible. This is the state in which we’ll experience the most profound, and sustainable, growth. 

How strong is your fabric?

  • Take a moment to reflect for yourself on these 3 people – sponsors or mentors, charges, and peers. Can you identify one person fulfilling each of those roles in your life right now? Can you identify more than one?
  • If there were a few actions that needed to be put in place to strengthen out that fabric, what might they need to be?

Take a couple of minutes to give some thought to that, and jot down some ideas. And if you’d like some specific support around a particular area of your life and are interested in joining one of our retreats or leadership trainings, click here to find out more about our programs.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Guest post: 6 lessons from taking the leap to do coaching certification

By

Jen Le Marinel

As a One of many Certified Women's Coach and founder of WildFire Walks, Jen combines the transformational power of the incredible One of many tools with the healing power of nature to help her clients feel more empowered to live a life they truly want to live. A life on their terms.

Patient and compassionate with a dash of playful rebel, she gently pushes back against the "should-dos" and "should-bes" so often imposed by our culture, our upbringing, our workplaces. Jen knows what it means to succeed in the corporate world...and what it's like to not want that, actually. She believes, and champions, that there is a different way. Her purpose; to playfully push the boundaries of what's possible in life, and to encourage and inspire other women to do the same.

Latest posts by Jen Le Marinel (see all)

Hi, I’m Jen, an ex-corporate wild soul and One of many Certified Women’s Coach.

If you’d told me three years ago that I’d be living the life I’m living now, I’d have laughed in disbelief. It was the stuff of dreams, the sort of thing that Other People did – people that were far braver, far more daring, far more exciting than me.

My life was mapped out and, on the face of it, idyllic. I was successful, respected and had an extremely promising career ahead of me as an actuary in a prestigious FTSE 100 financial services company. I had a perfect relationship, a beautiful house, went on exotic holidays. I had every reason to be happy.

And yet…I wasn’t.

I can’t pinpoint the exact moment it happened, but around three years ago my life suddenly started to crumble around me. Or, perhaps I should say, inside of me.

I did Superwoman well – nobody knew anything was wrong until, suddenly, I couldn’t keep up the pretence any more and I tumbled into burnout, depression and despair.

I went from feeling like I had everything, to feeling utterly stuck, trapped and hopeless.

Lesson one: Rock bottom can be just the beginning

I was signed off work and went through the lowest months of my life. But working with a counsellor and coach helped me to start rebuilding my mental, emotional and physical health while I gradually rediscovered my sense of self.

I hadn’t realised how much I’d lost who I was! I was my job, my relationship, I was a people pleaser… but I wasn’t me.

I felt like such a failure at first.

I had always been a fiercely independent overachiever, and I felt so ashamed, guilty even, about how I was feeling! But admitting how unhappy and unwell I was proved to be the first, brave step towards living the life I actually wanted to live.

Lesson two: Your dreams are waiting for you to pay attention

My coach helped me reawaken a dream I had forgotten I’d ever had – squashed out of me by the “shoulds” and “musts” and “be happy with what you’ve gots” of a corporate career, a long-term relationship and a desire to fit in with those around me.

She reawakened the spark of my dream, and that spark set me free.

I found the courage to leave my relationship, which was life-saving but heartbreaking, and shocking for everyone around me. I’d hidden the problems so well, even from myself!

But when I left I felt the proverbial weight lift from my shoulders, felt the fog clear from my eyes, and I breathed a deep breath of fresh air that gave me strength.

And I looked forward, with a sense of possibility and excitement, for the first time in months.

But it wasn’t all plain sailing. My job was not fulfilling and the long, desk-based days in the office were beginning to feel soul-destroying. Something else had to change.

Lesson three: Change can feel scary (but it’s worth it)

My first move was to reduce to four days a week – at severe risk of career suicide!

Where other up-and-coming young professionals were working extra hours to prove themselves in the office, I used my day off alternately to rest and to volunteer at a local care farm I had been involved with for several years. I absolutely loved it, working outdoors with the students at the farm. But it still wasn’t enough.

My dream – to help others through coaching, therapy and nature – burned ever stronger and I knew I was never going to be fully satisfied spending the vast majority of my life in an office, as respectable, secure and well-paid as it was.

I still didn’t know when or how I’d make the leap though. Whilst I didn’t feel I really fitted into corporate, what else did I know, other than spreadsheets and office politics?

I was very much living the “one-day” dream, until, one morning, something finally snapped. I had found myself literally bored to tears in my windowless cubicle, and I made the decision to either find a new role in the company, or leave. Gratifyingly, I was offered a number of different opportunities in the company, all of which would have appealed at one time. But I just couldn’t get excited about the opportunity to climb further up the career ladder.

Something else called. Something stronger than the draw of approval and recognition. It was time. I was young, free, single, with a house about to be sold. What did I have to lose? So I left. It was time to give myself, and my dream business, a chance.

Lesson four: First, replenish yourself

First, I gifted myself some time out. I took a break and embarked on an adventure of a lifetime, walking solo from Land’s End to John O’Groats for charity. An incredible, life-changing, life-affirming 1400 mile journey taking three and a half months to complete. A journey that was every bit as amazing, challenging and rewarding as you could imagine!

When I returned, I set up my business, WildFire Walks, getting tired, stressed out professionals into nature to rest, reconnect and re-energise. I started planning events, yet I knew I needed something more if I was to help my clients in the way I really wanted.

Lesson five: The right support changes everything

Enter One of many! I had first come across Jo Martin the previous year, at her speaker training event, and had been inspired by her approach. I joined the Be One community and I loved the vision of the organisation. I knew it had some part to play in my life, so when the opportunity to train as a One of many Certified Women’s Coach crossed my path, I jumped at it.

Actually, that’s not quite the whole truth…I jumped at first, excitedly, then I froze, and ran in the opposite direction!

My Inner Critic jumped in the driver’s seat and I very nearly threw away the chance.

Who was I, to think I could do this?

How on earth could I afford to invest so much in myself, when I was out of work, had been ‘galavanting’ across the country, had no ‘real’ coaching experience (needless to say I completely ignored the experience of managing and coaching a team in my corporate world!), and STILL had a mortgage to pay?

But something in me nudged, kept nudging, nudged louder, until I couldn’t ignore it. This was too good to miss. I had to do this. So I jumped in with both feet.

Best. Decision. Ever!

Cue the most unbelievable and profound 18 months of my life. Aside from the obvious – coming out with a certification, new skills and a licence to share the incredible One of many tools with my clients – I’ve made lifelong friends, learned to step into and trust my own power, and rediscovered myself in the process.

The entire journey was transformational, from the foundation training through to the 5-day intensive through to the three month practical.

I discovered a support network like no other, and I’ve remembered how it feels to shine, to dream and to thrive. I’ve learned to celebrate myself and my story.

I learned to embrace my emotions, believe in myself and to help others do the same. I learned to trust my intuition and trust life. I’ve learned to ask for, and accept, help.

Most importantly, I’ve dared to dream, and to actually live those dreams.

Lesson six: Dreams do come true

Last summer, a lifelong dream came true for me. I followed my desire to live more closely with nature and spent four months living off-grid in a yurt in the woods.

It was a deliciously happy experiment into embracing simplicity, nature and back-to-basics whilst still participating in the modern world. I managed to combine my growing coaching business with some consultancy work for my old company – on my terms – and some part time work in an organic farm shop and cafe, whilst living in this gorgeous slice of heaven.

I would wake up to birdsong and the sound of the wind in the trees, watch the sun rise across the field with a steaming mug of tea, curl up in front of my log burner at night and listen to the owls calling. It was magical. I’d seen yurts in my future in my Soft Power Planning, and here I was, just a few months later, actually living that dream.

Through the One of many experience, which I’ve continued by stepping up to Lead the Change, I’ve realised it’s about continually taking steps, however small, in the direction of my ultimate vision – a nature-based retreat centre with yurts, campfires and coaching.

I’m now regularly tuning into my vision, checking in with my intuition, and watching out for and trusting in the opportunities that present themselves. The ability to coach virtually makes me location-independent, meaning I can make the most of these opportunities.

So I live in interesting times. My immediate path has never been less mapped out in my life, and yet I feel more free, more fulfilled, more self-expressed and more aligned with my ultimate vision than ever before. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t scary sometimes though! Leaving the security of a job and starting your own business certainly isn’t a decision to be taken lightly.

But… I’m getting to do what I really want to do whilst continuing my own inner journey exploring truth, freedom and possibility. I’m always learning, always growing, and I’m finding that my own experiences are helping me be a better coach for my clients. I love watching them blossom as they explore what really matters to them, rediscover their own dreams and reconnect with their own vitality. I wouldn’t change any of it for the world!

Curious about sparking your own dream?

If Jen’s story inspires you and you’d like to find out more about becoming a One of many Certified coach, click here to get in touch. We’ll find a time that suits you to have a chat with one of our friendly team, and see if our training’s right for you.

About Jen Le Marinel

The outdoors-loving, dream-whispering coach.

As a One of many Certified Women’s Coach and founder of WildFire Walks, Jen combines the transformational power of the incredible One of many tools with the healing power of nature to help her clients feel more empowered to live a life they truly want to live. A life on their terms.

Patient and compassionate with a dash of playful rebel, she gently pushes back against the “should-dos” and “should-bes” so often imposed by our culture, our upbringing, our workplaces.

Jen knows what it means to succeed in the corporate world…and what it’s like to not want that, actually. She believes, and champions, that there is a different way. Her purpose; to playfully push the boundaries of what’s possible in life, and to encourage and inspire other women to do the same.

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How coaching is different from mentoring

By

Wendy Harrington

Founder at One of many

Latest posts by Wendy Harrington (see all)

The question came up just a couple of weeks ago in our One of many coaches group. One of our certified coaches had been approached by a colleague to provide some support – only, was it coaching they wanted, or mentoring? It got me reflecting on just how coaching is different from mentoring and why it’s so important that we get that distinction right.

Why we need to know how coaching is different from mentoring

At first glance, it might not seem like a massively important distinction. After all, if you’re looking to make progress in your career and need some wise counsel from someone else to do that, does it really matter what label you stick on it?

But there are lots of reasons why it’s really crucial that the distinction is clear from the outset of any relationship like this. Here are just 3:

  • Trust: Coaching and mentoring have different expectations around things like confidentiality and the scope of each session. It’s vital that both parties understand what’s being asked for – and offered – before they take part.
  • Payment: Coaching is a professional undertaking which usually requires payment. In many, though not all, professions mentoring is something offered for free by more senior individuals. For obvious reasons this is an area that it’s very important to have clarity around from the start!
  • Training: If you’re working with a coach, it’s reasonable to expect a certain level of professional training or significant experience; a mentor might not have formal training, but there will likely be certain pre-requisites of taking on this role.

Without clarity in these areas, any relationship can quickly become strained.

So how is coaching different from mentoring – and what should you be clear about from the start?

Here are 5 key areas the two can differ in – and some questions to ask before you start.

1. Coaching and mentoring have different goals

Typically, a coach will work with you towards an agreed goal. For example, you might want to focus on a particular ambition, like reaching a new level of financial growth in your business; getting clarity on your purpose; or improving a specific relationship, with your partner or your children for example. Within an organization, a coach might support you to reach a specific sales target or quarterly goal.

The purpose of mentoring is likely to be slightly different. Mentors tend to be more focused around career growth, often looking at a result that which the person mentoring has already achieved. They might support you with developing your leadership, managing a team, or writing a book. Often (though not always) the goal will be less specific, and the relationship more open-ended, than a coaching one.

Questions to ask: What’s the purpose of this relationship? How will we know when we get there? At what points will we review that goal?

2. Coaching and mentoring require different training

One of many coach Jane Lewis noted this important distinction:

“Generally a mentor is an expert in your mutual field; usually more expert and often better connected than you. A coach may know much or nothing about your field. Typically a mentor may be more directive BUT both – if they are any good- will demonstrate devoted listening skills, and great questioning ability.”

Jane’s touched on an important point here, which is that good mentors and coaches often have overlapping skills and even experience – both may be successful, good listeners, and have an aptitude for helping others to grow.

However, coaching is a distinct skillset in itself, and one which can be trained in specifically. Coaches use specific tools to help activate growth and empower you to take control of a particular area of growth.

A mentor, on the other hand, may simply be able to provide advice through virtue of their experience so far. That can be just as valuable, so long as you’re clear about what they can and can’t offer.

Questions to ask: What training have you completed? What kinds of strategies have you used to help other people? Will you be using these tools to help me reach my goal?

3. Coaching and mentoring cost different amounts

This is one of the most important differences to be clear on from the start, whether you are the person being coached or the one giving the support!

The expectations of mentorship vary greatly in different professions and organizations. In some, senior roles come with the expectation that mentoring less experienced colleagues is part of the equation. In others, mentorship is considered something to be paid for.

Coaching, by contrast, is more often expected to be paid for – if not by the person receiving it, then by the organization who have arranged the coaching. If you’re at all unsure then make sure you ask this question clearly.

And if you’re the person charging for the sessions, then needless to say you must make certain you have the clear understanding and agreement of the person you’re coaching before you begin.

Questions to ask: What is the expectation around payment? If I’m paying, what is included in the cost?

4. Coaching and mentoring take place over different timescales

There are no hard and fast rules here. But mentoring is more likely to be an open-ended or fluctuating arrangement, whereas coaching packages often last for a set length of time, and have sessions of a fixed length – typically one hour.

You might meet every quarter with a mentor to receive “big picture” advice on your career, and fortnightly with your coach for specific support around a goal.

Or a mentor might invite you to stop in for a quick chat whenever you have a query, or want to get their thoughts on a project, whereas your coach might set you tasks to complete in between fixed sessions.

Whichever is true for you, be sure to ensure that you leave space to review the arrangement, so that everyone’s clear about what will happen if things change, and when you’re finished working together.

Questions to ask: How many sessions will we have? How long will they last for? How will we know when it’s time to finish working together?

5. Coaching and mentoring ask different things of you

Coaching often involves significant transformation. It requires a level of trust on the part of both parties and a real commitment to growth on the part of the person being coached.

Mentoring, on the other hand, can be more about developing your skills within a specific profession. While calling on you to grow, there may be less of a personal growth focus and more attention paid to your abilities in practice.

Questions to ask: What’s expected of me in this relationship? What can I expect of you? What do we think will be the outcome of our work together?

Every relationship is unique

Mentoring and coaching are both hugely valuable processes – and both are relationships based on trust. As you can tell, although there are “rules of thumb” when it comes to expectations there are key areas where they can overlap, and so it’s really important to make sure expectations on both sides are clear before you start.

If you find yourself providing advice or guidance to other women, and are keen to develop your skills and gain clarity around how you can best support them, then take a look at the free online training:

“The Secret to Coaching Women: This Controversial Approach Will Transform the Results You Get With Your Team, Your Clients and Yourself.”

Click here to register and we’ll email you full details to access it.

It contains what I’ve found to be the “missing piece” of most coaching methodologies – and whether you’re a coach, manager or leader I think you’ll find the tools I share really helpful.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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What brings fulfilment in life?

By

Wendy Harrington

Founder at One of many

Latest posts by Wendy Harrington (see all)

If I asked you whether you wanted to feel fulfilled in your life – your work, your relationships, your contribution – you’d probably give a wholehearted YES, right? But if I asked how you could actually create that feeling: what brings fulfilment in life, or how we can know when we’re fully experiencing it, you wouldn’t be alone if you found it a bit harder to articulate.

Fulfilment is the answer to making a positive difference in the world without burning ourselves out. And yet many of us aren’t really clear on exactly what we mean by it, or how we can take practical steps to find fulfilment if it’s missing. Today I’m going to share 4 powerful questions you can ask yourself to discover how much fulfilment you’re currently experiencing in your life – and what you could do to increase it.

Fulfilment isn’t static

Before we start, a quick note on one thing I know to be true: Change is inevitable. As time goes by, what brings you fulfillment will also change. So if you find yourself wondering why something you once found fulfilling seems to have lost its sheen, don’t worry: There’s nothing wrong, and you haven’t made a “mistake”.

The trick to finding fulfillment throughout your life is to choose your activities wholeheartedly accordingly to what brings you fulfilment at each stage of your life… and then when that particular season of your life comes to an end, know that you can transition, and pivot into something new. You don’t have to burn bridges or forgo commitments.

What’s your life’s work right now?

In the following questions, I use the word “work” to describe your day to day activities. At BeFulfilled, the two-day retreat where we explore these themes in more detail, we use the phrase “life’s work” as a nod to the fact that this doesn’t have to refer to paid work or a career. Your life’s work might be:

  • Raising children
  • Making art
  • Being a carer for someone you love
  • Giving back to your community in some way.

How to use these questions

You might want to grab your journal and jot down your thoughts on these 4 points, or simply sit and think about how you’d answer them. Or why not forward this article to a friend and take it in turns to ask each other these questions?

However you choose to explore, it’s worth taking the time to consider which of these ingredients might need a little more attention in your life right now. 

4 ingredients of a fulfilled life

1. Do you find MEANING in your current work?

The first ingredient to fulfilment is meaning.

Finding meaning in what you’re doing doesn’t have to mean you’re engaged in profound or even stimulating activities every moment of every day. Raising children is certainly a meaningful job, but it sure as hell involves plenty of less-than-meaningful activities – most of them involving bodily fluids.

Perhaps your work has you mired in spreadsheets or grappling with awkward clients more often than you’d like, but overall do you feel a sense of meaning behind what you do? Does it fit into a bigger picture you’re invested in – whether for you personally, for your family, or for the planet?

Which leads me to the second ingredient when it comes to feeling fulfilled:

Contribution.

2. Does your work allow you to make a CONTRIBUTION in some way?

Contribution is the feeling that you’re giving something through the work you do. That you’re making a difference to the planet, or your community, or to other people. It will look very different for everyone.

It might be voluntary work that makes a difference to your local community. A position in academia that helps move research forward. Feeling that you’re developing and growing your team into truly outstanding individuals.

To what extent do you feel that your current work allows you to give something back to the world?

3. Does your work bring you JOY?

I’m not suggesting that fulfillment can only arrive when you’re in a state of constant happiness. (For starters, I’m not actually sure that exists). But if we don’t have an enthusiasm for what we’re doing each day, it’s hard to have a sense that we’re really as fulfilled as we could be.

Joy is a feeling that many of us weren’t taught to look for in our work, and yet when we experience it, it can be a catalyst for profound change and impact that’s far easier than if you’re gritting your teeth and “pushing through” each day.

How much joy do you currently experience? How could you find more?

The final ingredient is one that feels great when we get to really experience it:

4. Does your work give you opportunities for EXCELLENCE?

Whether it’s cleaning, coaching or managing million-dollar budgets, when you’re truly excellent at whatever it is you’re doing there’s an unparalleled feeling of satisfaction that arises. Excellence occurs when your gifts, talents and abilities are utilized to the full, so that you’re really aware that you’re doing your very best work.

Excellence is something we often value greatly in others but can sometimes find it hard to acknowledge in ourselves. Try thinking about the moments when you are most “in your flow” – when time seems to pass without you noticing, and you’re fully absorbed in whatever it is you’re doing. Often, they’re the times when you’re working in your most excellent way – and can lead to a sense of intense fulfillment when you look back at what you’ve achieved.

The fulfilment paradox

Of course, while we can identify certain ingredients that can lead to feeling fulfilled, it’s also true that fulfillment is just a feeling. An emotional state. There’s no litmus test anyone can perform to decide whether or not you “should” be feeling fulfilled right now.

If you’d like to explore the idea of fulfillment more deeply, or if you’re at a point where things are shifting and you know you’re being called to adapt what once worked for you, get in touch with our team to find out what tools and programs might make all the difference.

I’d love to know what you found came up for you as you read these questions. Are there any others you’d add? Share in the comments below.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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How to deal with emotions at work (or anywhere else)

By

Wendy Harrington

Founder at One of many

Latest posts by Wendy Harrington (see all)

Have you ever noticed that it’s at the times when it’s most critical for things to flow smoothly that emotional challenges often come up? The massive row with your partner as you’re gearing up for a really important presentation. The blistering feedback from your boss, minutes before the crucial sales call with a prospective client. Today I want to share a process you can use to deal with emotions at work, or any time when something deeply challenging flares up at a really inconvenient time.

This isn’t about ignoring your emotions, or suppressing them in an unhealthy way. One of the characteristics of Superwoman – the archetype of our time, who achieves everything in her life at 100% no matter what – is her refusal to let an ounce of emotion detract her from her goals. If you know you have a tendency to “push through” no matter what, remember: ignoring your emotions completely doesn’t tend to pay off in the long term.

This is about making the powerful decision to put what you’re feeling right now in a metaphorical “box”. That allows you to wait until a more appropriate time to work through what’s happened and do what needs to be done to resolve it. So that in the meantime, you can be your most powerful and effective self once more.

When should you use this process?

The process I’m about to share is one that I use when I know I don’t have the capacity to deal with an emotional or challenging situation there and then.

There are some things in life we’re never “ready” to deal with – news of a terrible diagnosis, or a relationship breakdown, or an accident. It doesn’t make you cold hearted or uncompassionate to choose to process those feelings when you’re able to truly give them the space you need.

Most of us have many competing priorities. It’s important that you and your partner work through your difficulties; it’s equally important that you’re effective and perform to the best of your capability for the team relying on you to move the business forward.

This process is a way of acknowledging that multitude of roles, and honouring your varying responsibilities fully.

  1. Acknowledge what’s happened

Denial happens when we pretend the situation isn’t occurring, simply because we can’t deal with it. Ultimately that’s not helpful – in fact it only makes it more likely that we’ll suppress what we’re feeling, only for it to flare up unexpectedly.

Take a moment to acknowledge the bare facts of what’s happened.

My partner just told me I’m selfish.

My assistant has just resigned.

A client has asked for a refund.

2. Acknowledge your feelings.

This isn’t the same as what’s just happened! Your feelings are equally as valid, and very often they’re what are most uncomfortable and overwhelming.

This is the time to step into the Mother PowerType and “parent” yourself the way you would a small child. Tell yourself it’s OK to feel how you’re feeling.

You might want to journal it out, record a voice message to yourself on your phone, or just take a few minutes to breathe and name what your emotions are.

I’m really angry.
I’m so upset right now.
I’m in panic mode, I feel helpless.
I feel like a terrible person, I’m doubting my competence.

3. Decide when you’re going to deal with it

If you’re been blindsided by an emotional shock, you will need to make time to deal with it.

Superwoman will probably say you can handle whatever horrible news has come your way in 5 minutes, preferably while doing something else “useful” like cooking the dinner, driving home, or dealing with your accounts. Not true.

Depending on the magnitude of what’s just happened, you will need to make some time to really allow yourself the time you need to process it. You may need to cancel something less important than your emotional wellbeing. However much time you need, grab your diary now and decide when that will be.

When you’ve done the presentation.

When you get home and can have a face-to-face chat with your partner.

When you can go for a long walk in the woods at the weekend.

4. Put it to one side – and clear the energy

There are different ways you can do this. You might want to physically mime “putting the situation in a box” , or visualize a specific room or shelf where you’ll leave it.

If you find it challenging to put things aside then there’s an audio in the BeOne member’s resources I think you’ll find helpful. In it I go through this process in much more detail, including a specific practice that really helps me make sure my energy’s totally free of whatever emotions have come up. If you’re not already a member, you can click here to join the community and get access to this and lots of other helful resources.

Essentially, you need to feel that you’ve acknowledged and metaphorically “shelved” what you’re feeling, and then taken some steps to get yourself back to a place of balance.

That might be as simple as making yourself a cup of tea, having a quick stretch or a 5 minute walk, or even just taking ten deep, long breaths to connect you back to yourself.

The bigger the energetic shift you can make, the more effectively you’ll be able to transition back into that powerful state you were in before you were derailed. Is there a song that inspires you which you could listen to on headphones? Can you shake off the emotion, or find somewhere with an expansive view that will lift your spirits?

Replenish yourself in the way that feels good to you, knowing you can return to process these feelings at time when you’re more equipped to deal with them.

Building resilience

Most of the time, when an emotional curveball comes your way there’s very little you or anyone else can do about it. There’s no point getting into the “blame game” – reality is what it is – and the only thing you have control over is how you choose to handle it.

So it’s really important that we develop the skills of articulating when our emotions are at a peak, and recognize that it’s not always appropriate or possible to deal with energy upsets. Wasting your time worrying about how you’ll handle an unexpected crisis doesn’t help anyone, least of all you. But if you know you have a process you can use whenever you need to, you can feel confident that you’re able to honour all your responsibilities in the fairest and most effective way.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Can you do coaching certification online?

By

Annie Stoker

Annie Stoker

Master Trainer and Head of Coaching at One of many
Annie Stoker is perhaps the UK's most educated coach and trainer in what it takes to be happy. She has distilled 27 years experience in diverse psychological and spiritual perspectives into a simple but profound manual for the mind: The Personal Development Handbook.” She has coached influential figures, and been featured widely on TV, radio and in print.

Having experienced not just health and sickness, but also success and failure, marriage and divorce, wealth and poverty, Annie now knows that real growth is not another ‘let’s make it all ok’ campaign. It’s about finding the truth at the core of ourselves so that we have the inner freedom to deal with whatever life throws at us.
Annie Stoker

Latest posts by Annie Stoker (see all)

If you’ve decided that you want to become a coach you’re probably already excited about making powerful transformation a bigger part of the work you do in the world. Naturally you’re curious about how certification works – can you do coaching certification online? Do you need to choose a residential course? And what do you need to be aware of when choosing a coaching training program?

No two coaches are the same

Every coach embarks on their journey to certification with a totally unique background, set of experiences, and motivation.

You might be planning to add coaching tools to your existing work as a manager or a leader in a corporate setting. You’re confident that coaching is going to be the missing piece when it comes to radically shifting the results that are possible – in an environment that brings the very best out of the people you work with.

Or maybe you’re ready to go it alone. You want to set up your own business and run it exactly how you want to you – perhaps offer coaching sessions via Skype or phone from your home, and you’re wondering if you could do the certification process remotely too.
Here are some things to consider when choosing the coaching certification that’s right for you.

Coaching certification online

The beauty of technology means that these days it’s perfectly possible to undertake coaching training online from anywhere in the world.

Profound transformation can take place over video call; you can observe coaching sessions and receive feedback on your own practice remotely; and trainers can answer questions, provide support and help you reflect on challenges from anywhere in the world.

Advantages

  • Convenient no matter where you are or how easy it is for you to travel: if you’ve got an internet connection, you’re good to go
  • If you’re planning on coaching remotely, it makes sense to complete your training in the same format
  • You can choose the training provider that’s right for you regardless of their location

Disadvantages

  • If you’re on the other side of the world, timezones can be an issue – always check the times of live components to make sure you don’t miss out
  • If you never meet your peers or teachers face to face, it can take longer to develop rapport
  • Completing certification from your own environment means you’ll need to be disciplined about creating the appropriate space to learn

Coaching certification in-person

In a world that’s ever more connected digitally, face-to-face interaction has a unique quality. It feels richer and more potent than ever. The connection we feel and the learning we’re able to experience when we’re physically present has a very different quality to it. And the very act of travelling to a different location can help facilitate an even deeper learning experience.

So what are the pros and cons of completing your coaching certification in person?

Advantages

  • If you’re going to be coaching in person, for example of part of managing the team, having training that takes into account your body language and presentation is invaluable
  • No need to worry about creating an appropriate place to learn – that’s all taken care of for you
  • If you’re a kinaesthetic learner, in person training is likely to match your learning style better
  • The intense nature of setting aside back to back training days, means lessons can be integrated more deeply without the interruption of every-day life
  • You’ll make closer friends with your cohort of trainees- people who will be your peer support group as you venture into your new profession or role

Disadvantages

  • There may be additional costs for travel and accommodation
  • Your choice of training provider will be limited by your ability to travel
  • Your time commitment may need to be greater

What about a blend of the two?

Finally, there is the option of undertaking a certification which blends online and off-line components. This means you get to combine some of the advantages of both virtual and live courses. For example, we teach much of our own coaching certification remotely – allowing our trainees to observe coaching sessions, experience coaching, and be mentored on their practice.

Our five day intensive, on the other hand, is held in person and live. It’s when our coaching trainees come together in person to experience deep transformation and connect with their peers and our trainers in real life. At the moment it’s not an experience we think can be replicated online, meaning our global trainees travel to the UK to experience that part of the training. (They’ve flown to the UK from Australia, New Zealand, the Netherlands, Kuwait, Switzerland, Germany and the USA so far!)

Advantages

  • Different learning styles will suit different teaching methods, and you’ll get to experience the full range
  • Learning how to coach both in person and online will give you an insight into the differences each format brings to your coaching practice
  • Travel costs and time commitment will be significantly reduced if you can complete part of the training at home
  • A live component will allow you to connect more deeply with your training provider and your fellow students meaning your post-graduation support network is profound
  • Virtual spaces to learn and connect with trainers and peers can support you wherever you are in the world, no matter where your coaching takes you!

Disadvantages

  • You’ll still be responsible for some travel, and possibly accommodation
  • Dates for live elements are likely to be planned well in advance, and might not be flexible
  • Connections that are made in person may have to be maintained online depending on your proximity to the other trainees

However you do it, coaching training is transformational

When you train as a coach, you’re learning how to use tools and techniques that can create huge transformation for people.

During coach training you not only learn to work with these tools with your prospective clients, but you also experience what it’s like to receive coaching yourself.

So it’s important you choose the environment that is right for you, and which fits with both your learning style and the vision you have for your future coaching practice.

If you’re trying to make a decision about which coaching certification to choose right now and would like to talk through what’s available with a member of our team we’d be really happy to help. Just click here to contact us and we’ll be in touch to arrange the best time for a call.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Can’t make a decision? Try this

By

Wendy Harrington

Founder at One of many

Latest posts by Wendy Harrington (see all)

When you can’t make a decision the feeling of mounting pressure can be intense – and the impact of not taking action can be bigger than you think.

A while ago I coached a woman who absolutely hated her job. I mean, really hated it. She described herself as “feeling slowly suffocated” by the time she spent at work… and yet when we talked it through, she told me there were simply too many options.

  • Should she follow her passion for illustration and try to make it as an artist?
  • Should she create a business sharing the work of other illustrators, using her knowledge of the industry to support others?
  • Should she follow her other calling and become a coach?

The choice felt too tricky to make. And meanwhile, she was stuck in the same routine, spending her time in a place that she hated while she put off making the “wrong” decision.

If you can relate to that feeling of being stuck, I want to share a simple process that can help you. But first, let’s get clear about one thing.

Why make decisions faster?

There are some decisions that you clearly don’t want to rush. If you’re considering something like whether to remain in your marriage; uprooting your family to move halfway round the world; or taking on a massive investment in a renovation project, you’ll likely want to spend some time meditating on the best course of action.

But as a rule of thumb, the faster you’re able to make decisions, the more successful you’ll be.

That’s not because you’re necessarily choosing the best course of action every time. But whatever action you do take gives you feedback – even if it’s that “this isn’t working” – and the opportunity to course correct.

When you stop making decisions altogether, you’re losing that forward motion.

So instead of getting new and different feedback from each choice, you’re stuck in a loop of running over the same options, and the same potential outcomes, without getting anywhere.

Analysis paralysis

This is what we call being in “Analysis Paralysis”. It describes those times when you’re not just taking your time over a decision, but putting off making it all together.

When you’re in that place, the inertia and “stuckness” can start to creep into all kinds of other areas of your life.

  • It starts to chip away at your self esteem.
  • You begin to question yourself, and doubt your ability to make a choice.
  • And eventually, it can even spiral into depression or anxiety.

The faster we can make decisions, the faster we get feedback, the faster we know if we’re on the right path.

So how do you make a decision?

Whether you’re choosing between two options that seem equally good, or gritting your teeth to choose between options where nothing feels ideal, here’s a 5 step process to move you out of inertia and into action.

1. Call it what it is

You’ll know when you’ve moved from “weighing up options” and into paralysis – so be honest with yourself. After a certain amount of time, you’ll find you’ve tipped into a place where it’s no longer about making the “right” decision as making any decision.

Maybe you’ve just set up your own coaching business and you’re trying to decide what to launch with.

Should you offer a group program, one-on-one coaching, or host an event? The reality is, after a while, you’ll get to a point where leaving the decision any longer is going to wind up with you broke.

Doing nothing isn’t an option.

You’re stuck in analysis paralysis – and it’s time to move on to step 2.

2. Get into the right state

We use the 5 Women’s PowerTypes™ to inspire the most powerful versions of ourselves, and the PowerType connected to decision making is the Queen.

When you connect to the Queen PowerType you’re accessing a specific set of resources that will enable you to swiftly take action without second-guessing yourself.

The Queen is serene, decisive, and she’s also visionary: she sees the big picture, and she’s clear. She knows that decisions need to be made, and she also knows they can be difficult.

What’s powerful about the Queen when it comes to decisions is that she’s connected to her logic – she wants to gather all the information that she needs – but she also trusts her intuition to steer her right. Above all, she wants the best for everyone she cares about.

How can you connect to Queen energy? Try thinking about the qualities I’ve described here – is there someone you know, in real life or a public figure, who exemplifies them? What would your posture look like if you were the Queen? How would you look at this issue that’s got you foxed?

If you’d like more inspiration for accessing the Queen, click here to download Life’s Little Toolkit. Along with our favourite resources to help you meet life’s challenges, it contains a guide to all 5 Women’s PowerTypes and some playlists to help you connect to their essences.

3. Ask “what do I know in my heart?”

Once you’re in that Queen energy, ask yourself what you know in your heart.

Sometimes, when it feels as though you’re stuck, it’s because although you know what course of action you should take, you just don’t want to. Maybe it’ll make someone angry or upset someone, even though you know it’s the right thing to do.

Listen for the answer and list out everything you do know in your heart.

One of the biggest ways you can get stuck in decision making is when you start to focus on everything you don’t know.

So shift your focus. Write down everything you DO know about the situation, and trust yourself, as the Queen, to be able to use this when you move forward.

4. Ask “Do I have enough information to make this decision?”

The Queen is happy to make decisions; she knows it’s for the good of everyone in her realm. But she won’t make one unless she has all the information she needs.

Maybe you’re missing a key piece of information that would allow you to make a final choice. If that’s the case, work out what’s missing and take steps to get all the details you need.

It’s not about getting tangled in endless research! Work out what you need to know, and commit to taking action once you have it.

5. Now, make a decision

You’ve connected to Queen energy.

You’re clear on what you know in your heart.

And you’ve made sure you have all the information you need to make your choice.

Now is the time to move into action.

But because this is the part you’ve been avoiding, you might experience a bit of resistance here – what if you make the wrong decision?

Here’s the good news: once you’ve got stuck in analysis paralysis, in most cases there is no longer a “right” decision. The impact of being locked in procrastination and not going anywhere means that ANY action you take is going to improve things.

If you discover that the choice you’ve made doesn’t work out, that’s useful feedback that will allow you to course correct and move onto something else. But you won’t get that until you move into action.

So the woman I was coaching didn’t need to waste her time trying to predict exactly what she should do when she left her job. Having gone back and forth about what to do, the right decision was simply to take action and leave the job that was draining her.

Whatever comes next, trust that you’ll be able to handle it. Whilst every option remains hypothetical, it’s impossible to know how it will pan out or what the “best” step is.

What are you in analysis paralysis about? What are your challenges and how are you going to move forward? Let us know in the comments – let’s celebrate moving into action!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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How to manage women

By

Wendy Harrington

Founder at One of many

Latest posts by Wendy Harrington (see all)

Irene Rosenfeld is the CEO of Mondelez International, one of the largest snack companies in the world. With $26 billion in annual sales, they count Oreos and Ritz crackers among their products, so it’s probably safe to say she knows a thing or two about managing people to have an incredible impact.

When asked for her best piece of advice, she shared this:

“I think my very best piece of advice is be yourself.

You know, I grew up in business at a time where there weren’t very many female role models, and so in the early days we wore little bow ties like the guys, and we talked about the Army even though we weren’t in the Army. And the reality was that wasn’t the right way to approach the business world.

Over time, there is more understanding of the value of diversity… [more opportunities] to be able to express ourselves and approach business in a way that makes the most sense for us.”

Interview with Sara Silverstein for Business Insider, 2017

A different style of leadership?

As Irene points out, it’s only relatively recently that women have played an active role in the workforce and been able to show up as ourselves in business.

As more and more of us begin to take leadership roles, and to nurture and support those rising up beneath us, the question of how to manage women is vital for us to consider.

Of course, Not all women are the same. There’s no “one way” to manage women any more than there’s “one way” to manage men.

But the growth of a more diverse and balanced workforce has triggered a healthy evolution of what was once a very uniformly patriarchal, masculine model of doing business.

As more and more women have risen to positions of leadership, we’ve all gained a greater understanding of the unique role women can play in helping businesses reach their goals.

This can help all of us, both women and men, approach business in a more nuanced way than before.

As Irene reflects,

“Our emerging workforce is not interested in command-and-control leadership. They don’t want to do things because I said so; they want to do things because they want to do them.”

Being a manager requires flexibility

Managing people works best when we understand that flexibility and openness to different ideas allows us to tap into the techniques which are most effective at any given time.

After all, all sorts of factors influence the best choices to make when it comes to managing our teams.

  • The current business environment
  • The length of time the individuals have been in post
  • Previous management styles
  • Company culture
  • Current priorities and goals for the business

And if you’re not in the corporate world, you can probably apply these to your own situation, or even your family (Teething toddler + family goal to get a solid night’s sleep? That’s a leadership challenge if ever I heard one!)

Managing women tends to flow best when we add into that context an awareness that most women experience regular cycles (whether or not they’re menstruating). Our mood, motivation and talents fluctuate, and will respond best to leadership that’s able to flex and adapt to that.

I’m not suggesting for one minute that you ask your team personal questions about their cycles, or ascribe poor performance to “hormones” or “women’s troubles.” After all, that would simply be perpetuating the idea that there’s one linear “norm” that anything else diverts from.

But try noticing how your team, whether they be men or women, are feeling at any given time.

Do they feel fired up, energetic, bursting with ideas? It could be a great time to harness that exciting energy to come up with new strategies…

Are they fed up and complaining? Maybe that decisiveness and awareness of what’s not working could allow you to trim unnecessary processes and get clarity on any areas that have felt fuzzy.

Women managing women

As women managing women, we also have our own cycles and flows to pay attention to. We have access to powerful styles of leadership that allow us to draw on our natural strengths and embrace the flow of our energy to maximise how effective and fruitful we can be.

When it comes to enhancing your strength as a leader and giving your team the best chance of getting on board with your plans, knowing your strengths and weaknesses is invaluable. It’s also helpful to know how your energy flows throughout the day, week or month, and which tasks and activities are optimum for you to undertake at each time.

Bringing this level of nuance to your own workflow will bring a fresh momentum that can completely revitalise your ability to reach and surpass your goals.

There’s no one size fits all

So, how to manage women? There’s no simple answer to that question. We’re creating a new paradigm of leadership, that involves paying attention to the people we work with and ourselves, and using that connection to find what works for us.

There’s no need to follow tired ways of doing things, just as there’s no need to reinvent the wheel without good reason. Staying open, following your instincts and never being afraid to shift things up or experiment is what will create the future we all want to see.

Do you want to transform the results you get with your team, your clients or yourself? Register for our complimentary training to explore this topic further and discover how the 5 Women’s PowerTypes ™ can be used in your coaching, consulting and management to bring the best out in the women you work with (and yourself). Click here to access The Secret To Coaching Women.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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How to start a coaching business

By

Wendy Harrington

Founder at One of many

Latest posts by Wendy Harrington (see all)

Imagine:

  • Spending your days with inspiring clients, watching them go on to make a massive difference in their communities.
  • Supporting women to step into their power with powerful choices that work for them and their families.
  • Choosing your hours, playing to your strengths and getting paid for what you love to do.

Sounds like a dream come true, doesn’t it – but surely being a coach can’t be all roses?

What do you need to be aware of before taking the leap? If you’ve ever wondered about making the shift to become a coach, but felt like you wouldn’t know where to start, then here are five things to bear in mind.

How to start a coaching business in 5 steps

1. Find your “big why”

Any big transition in life, but especially one like training as a coach, needs purpose. After all, to become a coach you’ll need to invest time, energy and money, and knowing your reason for doing that is what will keep your motivation and momentum going.

In Simon Sinek’s groundbreaking book, Start With Why, he explored how the greatest leaders used their “Big Why” to inspire others. So what’s your “Big Why” for becoming a coach?

For many women in our community, coaching will allow them to make a real difference to causes they’re truly passionate about. Take Anna.

“6 out of every 100 UK people experience domestic abuse. 6.7% of all women. 1 in 4 LGBT women (from their partners). Around 80% of trans people. Half of all gay and bi men (from partners or family members). One of those women is me.

When I imagine the world in 7 generations time, I want to see these figures be drastically different, or even gone.

My next commitment to this future is to complete my One of Many coaching certification to work alongside Newcastle Women’s Aid to offer coaching to the women who access their service, to help them reclaim their soft power and move forward into fruitful, vital, happier lives. To help them lead more change in the world when they can.” – Anna Knight

Playing an active part in building the future we want to create is a huge driver for many coaches. Through supporting and championing their clients, they’re able to create a “ripple effect” that has an impact far beyond their individual contribution.

Your “Big Why” might be about empowering corporate leaders to make courageous decisions, or helping mums reconnect to themselves after having children. It could be something totally different! Get clear on what it is, and you’ll find that every other action you take flows from that well of inspiration.

2. Get qualified

Coaching is much more than a conversation or supportive words. The greatest, and most successful, coaches have a whole wealth of tools at their disposal as well as the confidence to lead their clients through complex and sometimes challenging transformations.

Our One of many women’s coaching certification is a rigorous program designed to give you all the skills you need to become a confident and effective coach. Our graduates are trained in using unique, cutting edge and proven tools to unleash the leadership potential of the women they work with – and through our comprehensive training, have the full support to practice and implement them.

There are lots of coaching certifications out there, and they’re all different – so do your homework before making an investment. Some things to consider might be:

  • What’s the focus of the program, and does it fit with my values?
  • How do the organizers respond to questions? Can I have a conversation with someone to check if this is the right fit for me?
  • What’s the feedback like from previous graduates?

If you could do with a hand comparing the different options, feel free to get in touch and someone in the office will be happy to talk them through.

3. Figure out what you’re selling

So you’ve done your training, got your qualification, and you’re ready to get started. Fab! Now what?

Well, some of our graduates decide they want to use the tools they’ve learned within an organization, to help them manage their teams and lead more effectively. But if you decide to set up your own business, there’s a really key thing to bear in mind. A lot of coaches make the mistake of trying to get clients by selling them “coaching”.

When the truth is, the impact you’ll have on your clients isn’t that you’ll have “coached” them. It’ll be in:

  • The pay rise they’re finally able to ask for (and get!)
  • The connection and trust that’s returned to their relationship
  • The clutch of anxiety they used to feel every day when they wake up has melted away

See the difference? Build a business around the changes you help your clients make, rather than the way you help them get to that change, and you’ll find clients much easier to come by.

4. Make sure you have support

As your work grows and evolves, nothing beats having a group of equally committed and excited peers to keep you on track, help you navigate challenges, and support you as your business expands. (Our coaching grads stay in touch via our private Facebook group – a place to celebrate each other, share challenges and ask questions.)

You might also want to investigate a coaching mentor going forward – someone to help suggest areas of growth and development, and help support you through any tricky times. Ask any training provider how they support their coaches and what network you’ll have access to in future.

5. Plan your transition

You’re inspired – coaching is for you, and you’re ready to sign up and get started. Time to wave goodbye to the day job, set up a website, and watch the clients roll in, right?

Well, we’d certainly love that to be your experience – but the reality is, making any change takes time. All sorts of factors will impact how quickly coaching can become your main focus, including your finances, time, and other commitments.

Take the time to plan the transition, get advice and support when you need it, and reach out to others doing the same thing.

If you’re thinking about coaching and have a question, post it in the comments below! And if you’re already a coach, let us know what lessons you’d share with someone just starting out. Your experience might make all the difference.

Time for a change?

If you’d like to find out more about our coaching training, click here to read the full details. The first step is to book in a no-obligation chat with one of our team so we can find out if this would be a great fit for you. Just click the button at the bottom of the page to schedule a call.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.