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Coaching and burnout: The trap for women who care

November 12, 2020 By Joanna Martin

About
Latest Posts

Joanna Martin

Founder at One of many

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

6 reasons we need community (and how to find it) - January 15, 2021
The secret to rest: Dealing with a “Superwoman hangover” - January 1, 2021
Coaching and burnout: The trap for women who care - November 12, 2020

When it comes to coaching and burnout, there’s a really important distinction many women aren’t aware of when they seek support.

If we’re not mindful of this potential trap, we can find that the coach we’ve hired to try and prevent us from burning out completely, can actually make things worse.

Why?

One word: Superwoman.

How Superwoman can sabotage your support

Many of us habitually find ourselves in “Superwoman” mode when things get tough.

She’s the part of us who needs to be achieving 100% in every area of her life, all the time. She HATES asking for help and sees any kind of vulnerability as weakness.

We call Superwoman the archetype of our time for good reason. She’s ubiquitous among high-achieving women who care.

And in this short video, I explain how coaching can go wrong when we’re still wearing our Superwoman cape – and how you can do things differently.

What women need to know about coaching and burnout

Coaching and burnout – what’s your experience?

If you can relate to this, I’d love to know your experience. Have you found yourself turning professional support into a reason to raise the bar still higher? Do you tend to approach personal development as a way to push yourself further, and do you have any tips to share when it comes to stepping off the treadmill?

I’d love to know your thoughts in the comments below.

And if you’d like to know more about One of many‘s approach to coaching, make sure you’re part of the BeOne community. We’re going to be sharing details of an upcoming workshop very soon, to give you the chance to experience it firsthand.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Guest post: 5 ways to feel empowered about politics

August 6, 2020 By Sara Price

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Sara Price

Sara is a coach and mentor with over 25 years of experience in campaigning and communications. As well as her ongoing work with Pagefield, the leading independent communications agency that she co-founded in 2010, Sara is a One of Many Certified Coach, a Mastercoach and soon to be author.

#1 Understand the system

Politics can often feel like a private members club that you are paying for but are excluded from. It is a club populated by cliques, speaking a language filled with confusing jargon and running processes and procedures that seem convoluted at best and downright diabolical at worst!

To wield influence, to hold politicians to account, to create opportunities to have your say, you need to clear away the confusion and develop a solid understanding of how the system functions.

One of the fastest routes to failure is to take action inside a system that you do not understand. So get informed: do a course, read a book, speak to experts – make sure you know enough about your political system to know where the entry points are and how you might be able to influence it.

#2 Learn the language

Visiting a country where you don’t speak the language can sap your confidence and make you feel vulnerable and excluded. But often, it’s just a question of learning a few key phrases: being able to say please and thank you and ‘do you speak English?’

You don’t necessarily need to be fluent but if you know enough to get by you will feel more comfortable and more confident when travelling.

The same applies to politics. The language of politics is full of jargon and I know many people who avoid talking to politicians or about politics because they don’t understand the ‘lingo’. My advice: just treat it like any other language and spend some time learning a few key phrases.

But also, don’t be afraid to ask people to explain what they mean ‘in plain English’. If you are talking to a politician or official and you don’t understand what they are saying, there is a responsibility on them to explain more clearly. Remember, they work for you.

#3 Understand how policy is made

All political systems have – sometimes arcane – procedures for initiating, discussing and deciding on policy and legislation and it helps to have at least a superficial understanding of how this works.

Here’s a rule of thumb: by the time a draft law is being voted on in the legislature, the Government has already put a huge amount of time and effort into it and is unlikely to want to change it a great deal. So, if there’s a policy you are passionate about, you need to get involved way before it gets to that point. And that means understanding the processes used to develop policy BEFORE it becomes legislation.

#4 Stay informed

If you want to engage and influence the policies that interest you or you want to hold your representatives to account for the decisions that are making, it stands to reason that you need to stay informed.

Every country and every institution has its own way of sharing news and updates and so it’s not possible to provide an exhaustive list here but here are 3 pointers:

Watch or listen to the news or read a quality daily newspaper

I know the news can be depressing but if you want to know what is going on in the world then the news is a much better and more reliable source than Facebook.

Subscribe to a podcast

There are some brilliant podcasts that will keep you up to date with what’s going on in the world of politics generally. In the UK, the BBC has several:
a. The Week in Westminster
b. Today in Parliament
c. Pienaar’s Politics
d. Westminster Hour
e. Political Thinking with Nick Robinson

Follow your representative

If you want to hold your representative to account then you need to know what they are up to. Follow them on Twitter. Sign up for their newsletter (most of them now issue one)

#5 Take regular small steps

Don’t try and do it all at once. When you first decide to get informed and to engage more in politics it can seem overwhelming. Don’t try to eat the elephant in one sitting. Take small, regular bites. Focus on understanding first; ask questions; find people who are prepared to teach you.

You don’t have to go from vaguely interested to being a prospective candidate overnight. You don’t ever have to be a candidate at all!

But wouldn’t it be empowering just to have a deeper understanding of what the people you have elected are actually up to? Wouldn’t it feel energising to know how to get hold of your representative and how to enlist their help or hold them accountable?

You can do it – it just takes that first commitment to action.

About Sara

The Knitting, Baby-whispering Karaoke queen!

Sara is the Founder of Actually which she set up to empower those who want to make a difference in the world to grow their businesses and their impact by developing great communication skills; overcoming mindset blocks and getting the right support. Sara’s specialises in communications, campaigning and PR – and her flagship training programme, How to Actually Spread the Word, helps purpose-led entrepreneurs, coaches and consultants to step up, speak up and make a difference. She is also a One of many coach and trainer; a mentor with the social enterprise support group Unltd and the co-Founder of one of London’s leading independent communications agencies.

Please visit www.actually.world or email sara@actually.world for more information.

One of many voices: Carib Eats Founder Ali Kakande

July 2, 2020 By Joanna Martin

About
Latest Posts

Joanna Martin

Founder at One of many

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

6 reasons we need community (and how to find it) - January 15, 2021
The secret to rest: Dealing with a “Superwoman hangover” - January 1, 2021
Coaching and burnout: The trap for women who care - November 12, 2020

Ali Kakande is one of many women in our community making a big difference in her corner of the world. So when she reached out recently to share her Carib Eats project, we were intrigued to find out more.

Her story of grassroots leadership exemplifies so much of what we’re all about here at One of many.

Women collaborating and supporting each other. Women creating the change that is theirs to make. Women learning, growing and developing their leadership skills as they do it. I think you’re going to love this project as much as we do.

So here’s Ali, in her own words:

Tell us a bit about Carib Eats

Carib Eats started as one response to one request for help. I’m in a few local mutual aid groups on Whatsapp – voluntary groups helping distribute help and resources to people who need them most.

One Sunday back in March – just at the start of the Covid crisis – I saw a message from a resident who was worried her brother didn’t have a meal that night. It was a worry echoed up and down Hackney, as food insecurity quickly became an issue. Well, I was cooking at the time and the solution was obvious: I’d make an extra portion, and bring it over.

I spoke to my best mate, and she was in her kitchen too. “I’ll make some extra to share” she told me, when she found out what I was doing. Within the hour a meal was delivered, and that’s how Carib Eats was born.

Now, Carib Eats delivers food once a week across Hackney to those who would benefit from a meal and a chat.

What makes this project so important?

Carib Eats is more than a meal. It’s a chance for people to connect and feel they are truly part of the wider community and not defined by their needs.

It’s important that people can request home-cooked meals that they are used to eating, and to let the people we serve know they haven’t been forgotten. As the weeks go by we‘ve got to know people a little more, and during lockdown those isolating alone have especially looked forward to seeing us.

One of the residents we support was involved in London’s iconic Notting Hill Carnival for over 30 years. Unfortunately, due to ill health, he is no longer involved, but the volunteers have felt really privileged to listen to his experiences.

We want to use this opportunity to capture the rich stories of Hackney residents that we may not always hear.

Had you done anything like this before?

No! The funny thing is, I don’t even really like cooking! And I honestly had no idea that the project would grow the way it has. But I’ve been so humbled by the response. There’s something about home-cooked food, that people actually want to eat, that’s really needed here.

We’re connecting people, checking in on them, sometimes on people who are vulnerable.

Although we started during lockdown, I don’t see the need for our support going away any time soon. Covid has simply highlighted the issues that were there already.

A recently published report by the independent Social Metrics Commission found that “Some 4.5 million people, or 7% of all people in the UK, live in families that are more than 50% below the poverty line. This compares to 2.8 million people (5%) in 2000/01, meaning that deep poverty is an issue that has worsened over the last two decades… Adding to these concerning figures is the fact that, of those currently in deep poverty, 2.4 million are also in persistent poverty; meaning that they have also been in poverty for at least two of the last three years.”

What have been the challenges?

We’re currently self-funded, and that isn’t sustainable, so we’re planning to keep going on a month-by-month basis depending on the support we have.

We put up a Just Giving page really quickly, just to see if we could keep going. That was when we came up with a name for the project, and a description:

“Four friends (& a Hackney resident on a bike) all connected through Hackney come together every Thursday. The meals have a Caribbean twist with a nod to Jamaican cuisine. We cook, deliver & chat. We would like to continue to do so and in order to do this we need help.”

Honestly, I didn’t know what to expect. But the idea caught on. I think people were drawn to the simplicity and honesty of our set up – there’s no big organisation, no complicated structure.

I was busy with my phone switched off the day after the campaign went up, so it was my kids who messaged me to say “Have you seen what’s going on?”.

Within an hour, the donations were flooding in. That’s when I realised that this was a project that had a life of its own.

How has the team organised?

At first, I kept saying “I’m not the boss!”. But I’ve naturally found myself stepping into a leadership role – and I’ve started to acknowledge the skills I have around connecting and organising people. Somehow the fact that I’m doing it for the project, and not for myself, has enabled me to be bolder than maybe I would be otherwise.

As we begin to apply for funding, or I talk to people about helping us spread the word, I’m able to be more assertive because I’m doing it for Carib Eats. I believe in our mission and our team, and that’s pushing me forward. I don’t feel apologetic about asking for help.

Right from the start, we’ve all had some really frank conversations about what we’re good at. Everyone involved has had to be really honest about what we’re able and willing to do. Some of the earliest volunteers needed to pull back from the food side, which I completely understood. But they’re still involved – cheering me on and helping me stay motivated; making connections and sharing what we’re doing; or thinking up ideas for how it could evolve.

We’ve had interest from the Museum of London in documenting the project, thanks to a local contact – and I’m hoping to build the team more.

What’s next?

As the lockdown eases, we’re taking stock and looking to the future. The goal of Carib Eats is to continue to provide meals & connect people on a weekly basis. The challenges for many will not go away and we remain committed to supporting our community.

I’m fortunate. I have a job and a supportive network, so lockdown was easier for me than some. My own personal experience tells me that it is important to help where you can and to pass on kindness and support. We all need each other, especially when times are tough.

Want to help? Here’s how you can help support Ali and the team at Carib Eats

1. Give

You can donate to Carib Eats’ Just Giving page by clicking here.

2. Share

No worries if you can’t donate! You can also help by sharing and spreading the word. Find the team on Instagram and Facebook and give them a like, follow or share.

3. Step up

Carib Eats are currently looking for someone to help with building their website and managing social media. So if you, or someone you know, would be interested in joining the volunteer team, please get in touch at caribeatslondon@gmail.com.

Are you changing your corner of the world?

Ali’s one of many women making a difference in her corner of the world. A grassroots leader learning, growing, and connecting as she goes. We love to share stories from within our community to help spread the word about projects. Come over to our Facebook group and let us know if you’ve got a story to share!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

YOUR voices have been heard

June 18, 2020 By Joanna Martin

About
Latest Posts

Joanna Martin

Founder at One of many

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

6 reasons we need community (and how to find it) - January 15, 2021
The secret to rest: Dealing with a “Superwoman hangover” - January 1, 2021
Coaching and burnout: The trap for women who care - November 12, 2020

When I first discovered that the Parliamentary Women and Equalities Committee here in the UK was calling for evidence about the unequal impact of Covid19 on different groups of people (eg: women; Black and Minority Ethnic groups; people living with disabilities or long term illnesses; people undergoing gender reassignment; members of the LGBTQ community) I knew our community would have a lot to say.

And you did.

We heard from women from all walks of life, across the UK – and beyond.

Telling our shared story: One of many ways we give back

In just six short days, with characteristic generosity, you shared your experiences of the pandemic; your observations on the Government’s response and your recommendations for future action.

You shared your fears, your anger, your frustrations, your hopes and your dreams.

We read and listened to every word of every submission we received.

Your words and your experiences, combined with our own research into the unique position of women in the midst of this crisis, formed One of many’s first ever submission to a Parliamentary inquiry.

This marks a milestone for us as a community. Not only are we supporting each other to learn, grow, and make a difference in the world. We’re using our collective voices to guide our political leaders to the change we want to see – and I am so grateful to everyone who contributed.

The final 33 page submission, including all of our recommendations can be read by clicking here.

I warn you now you may need a tissue. I cried when I first read it. I still do.

The power of our collective voice

Our submission doesn’t just represent the voices of the women who responded with their experiences and their recommendations. It is a vivid portrayal of the lived experiences of thousands of women across the UK.

And your voices have been heard.

Last week the chair of the Committee Caroline Nokes MP announced that they had been overwhelmed with responses to their inquiry. She spoke in particular about the impact on women:

“Evidence shows that the economic impact has been experienced differentially by women – and in many respects, more severely”.

Caroline Nokes, Chair, Women and Equalities Committee

As a result of the evidence they received, Caroline Nokes announced that the Committee would be conducting three additional “sub inquiries” looking at:

– Coronavirus and BAME (Black And Minority Ethnic groups) people
– Coronavirus, disability and access to services; and
– Coronavirus and the economic impact on women.

You can find out more about these inquiries here.

Raising each other up

At the end of April, at the peak of the Covid-19 pandemic in the UK, I asked each of you to imagine the voices of thousands of women speaking up and making a difference, and to join me in making that dream a reality.

I know that the past few months have been incredibly challenging for every one of us. We’ve all had to face unprecedented uncertainty in every area of our lives. Even before this global pandemic, time was our most precious resource.

So I am so moved, and so grateful, to each and every one of you who heeded that call.

And of course, the Covid-19 situation continues to evolve. It’s not the only shift the world is undergoing. New movements for change are springing up, some of them led by women in our community. Maybe led by you. The global uprisings for social justice are making their voices heard.

We’re all making daily decisions, small and big, about how each of us can look after our needs, be a stand for our values, and continue to support those around us. And I know we can continue to support each other through the BeOne community. Because we’re stronger together.

What’s next, now your voices have been heard?

No-one knows what’s coming, of course. If recent weeks have taught us anything, it’s that change is the only constant.

But I can tell you this.

We will continue to raise up your voices. Here in the UK, we will continue to call for a response from Government that reflects your experience during this pandemic. And we will continue to do whatever we can to lead the change.

If you want to join us in informing this important inquiry, you can still make your voice heard by making an individual submission to one or all of the sub inquiries.

You can be the change you want to see.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

How to actually make a difference

February 27, 2020 By Sara Price

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Sara Price

Politics.

Now before you click to another page, here’s another thing you might find surprising – so do you.

‘Oh no I don’t…’

‘Oh yes you do…’

‘Oh no I don’t…’

‘Oh yes….’

Sorry, wrong blog, we’re past the Christmas Panto season right? Although given the way that much of our politics is conducted, sometimes pantomime seems apt…

Why you care about politics (even if you think you don’t)

Anyway, back to the point: why do I insist that you care about politics?

Well, here’s a list of issues which almost certainly affect your life in one way or another. I am prepared to bet rather a lot of money you care about at least one of them:

How much tax you pay
How much money you are paid
How much you receive in benefits
What your children learn at school
How qualified the teachers are that teach them
How long the school holidays are
What access you have to childcare, and who pays for it
How many hours you work
How much holiday you can take from work
Your access to healthcare if you’re too sick to work
Your access to sexual health services
What age you can get married
Whether you can get married or not
Whether or not we, as a country, go to war
When your rubbish is collected
Whether that new development near your house gets planning permission
The amount of renewable energy we produce as a nation
Climate change
Plastics in the ocean
GMO food
Nuclear weapons…

Is there something on this list that you care about?

Yes?

Then you care about politics.

Because every single item on that list is determined — or at least heavily influenced — by politicians at a local, national or international level.

Elections, referendums, protests – these are all huge political moments in our lifetimes. But the opportunities for usto have an impact on these big, important decisions aren’t limited to these snapshots in time.

Whether you agree with the outcomes or not, if you want to actually make a difference, you have a choice. You can wait for the next moment to come along – another election, another referendum, another protest…

OR you can get informed, get engaged, get empowered and actually make a difference more regularly than once every few years.

An optimist’s take on creating change

I may have mentioned that I am an optimist?

Here’s what I imagine…

…a world in which we do more than turn up once every few years, mark a cross on a piece of paper, and then moan to our friends about how our politicians don’t represent us.

…a world in which the electorate (which means YOU) feels informed, engaged and empowered to have an impact on the issues they care about.

…a world in which we hold our representatives accountable for the actions they take and the decisions they make.

That’s the world I want to live in and the one I want to do something to contribute to.

Why?

Because of that list of issues that you care about.

Because politics is important beyond the moments.

Because I don’t want to feel helpless and hopeless.

Because I want to feel informed, empowered and engaged.

And I suspect maybe you do too.

How to actually make a difference: 3 myths about getting involved

Lots of the myths you might have unconsciously absorbed about becoming ‘politically involved’ simply aren’t true. Here are 3 that commonly stop us from taking action, and the truth behind them.

Myth #1 Getting involved in politics will take up all my time

Something as simple as getting informed about an issue you care about; finding out what organisations are working to improve it or signing a petition might only take a few minutes. Do that every day or week, and you’ll soon be more engaged with what’s going on.

Myth #2 If I want to make a difference, I’ll have to join a party or start a campaign

There are lots of groups, individuals and organizations already doing amazing work on all kinds of issues. So you don’t need to start from scratch. Whether it’s making a donation, sharing their work with your network, or contributing your time and skills, there are ways to get involved at every level.

Myth #3: I need to spend years studying politics before I get started

Politics isn’t for the elite, the wealthy or the educated. It’s for all of us. And starting with grassroots issues that matter to you — a local footpath, a library you love, a policy at work you don’t agree with — is the best way to learn more.

We deserve more

The philosopher and diplomat Joseph de Maistre once said that “In a democracy people get the leaders they deserve.”

Isn’t it time for us to deserve better leaders?

Isn’t it time we stepped up? Spoke out? Held our leaders to account?

Isn’t it time we got involved? Made a difference? Had a say?

Then perhaps when the next political moment rolls around, we will have gone some way to creating that world I imagine.

I’ll be sharing more ways you can get involved and have an impact on future blogs.

For now, I’m curious: What’s your relationship with politics like? Do you feel as though you’re engaged with the issues that matter; does it all feel like a distant circus of posturing egos; do you feel empowered, helpless, or somewhere in between?

I’d really love to know — share your take in the comments below.

About Sara

The Knitting, Baby-whispering Karaoke queen!

Please visit www.actually.world or email sara@actually.world for more information.

How to use stories to create change

October 1, 2019 By Joanna Martin

About
Latest Posts

Joanna Martin

Founder at One of many

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

6 reasons we need community (and how to find it) - January 15, 2021
The secret to rest: Dealing with a “Superwoman hangover” - January 1, 2021
Coaching and burnout: The trap for women who care - November 12, 2020

If you’ve ever gone to the movies and found yourself so involved with a character that it feels as though watching their journey has actually shifted something in your own life, you’ll know what I mean by the power of story. We learn, we get inspired, we transform… all from the stories we’re told, or the ones we tell ourselves. Today I want to share some of what I’ve learned about how to use stories to create change, so that you can begin to apply it in your own life and work.

Story is an extraordinarily powerful tool. We remember stories far longer than we remember any points that have ever been taught to us. So storytelling is something that I have spent a lot of time studying and learning and practicing over the years.

If you have a vision to create real change in the world, today I invite you to think about how story could play a part in that.

Why stories work

If you’ve been to one of our live events you’ll know that we always start with stories – often opening with the start of a tale, and closing it at the end. It’s one way we weave a little bit of magic into the experience, and it’s a key focus for our One of many Certified Trainers when they learn how to create extraordinary experiences for groups.

As human beings, we naturally create stories to explain our experiences. When you think about it your life is really just a series of moments. Our perception of our lives as being journeys connected by meaning – I did X, so I learned Y, and became Z – is in the narrative our minds create.

We weave a story to make meaning of what this series of events could tell us, about us and about the world and about others.

Sometimes they’re empowering stories and sometimes they’re disempowering stories.

You could be telling yourself a story right now, reading this article.

You could be telling yourself that you’re connecting with me, a woman called Jo who has something that she wanted to share with you. Maybe this is a story about sharing and sisterhood.

You might tell yourself that you’re taking a few minutes to read these ideas and to absorb some wisdom that’s going to help you grow, perhaps in ways you don’t yet know, or won’t know until you need it.

Or you could tell a remarkably different story about this moment – maybe you’re berating yourself for “wasting time”, telling yourself a story about how easily distracted you are.

It’s really just a choice you make of how you want to link these pieces of your experience together.

Using storytelling as a leader

So the first part of discovering the power of story is to be conscious that you’re always making stories and that those in your team are always making stories too.

From a leadership perspective, there’s a part of us that takes responsibility for the stories that her team are making from the events that occur.

It’s the Women’s PowerType we call Sorceress. When she’s in leadership she knows that she is accountable for the stories that her team are making. And that it is her job to make sure that whenever events happen, that she takes charge of the stories that are made.

A couple of years ago we ran a retreat where the place we were staying was completely snowed in. Actually, it was one of 3 retreats that year where we found ourselves in the midst of epic snowfalls. I’m sure there are some stories I could make about that!

By the time we came to our closing session for our Lead the Change participants on Sunday, the outlook was pretty grim. We were hearing one by one that the roads were closed, taxis weren’t running, trains had been cancelled, airports were closed…

As you can imagine, our team were faced with a big challenge.

We had lots of material to cover, for which we needed the participants to be present and receptive. But the fact is, for most of our community just taking a couple of days away from home and work is a big thing. It takes a lot of rearranging. So the prospect of being stranded for an extra night, even if it was at a perfectly comfortable hotel and spa, was a pretty distracting one.

One of my first jobs, then, was to find the narrative. Not to ignore what was happening, not to let things sink into panic, but find the possible narratives there could be and reframe them in a way that enabled us to be present and feel safe and supported.

That’s what the sorceress leader knows. She thinks “There’s a narrative here. Let’s take charge of what it is.” She’ll think through the possible stories, and take charge of the narrative that her team agree to tell themselves. From there, we can find unexpected possibility.

How do you use story?

Have you come to one of our events and experienced the power of story? Or perhaps you’ve shared your own story, and seen the effect it can have to inspire and empower others. Share your story in the comments below.

In fact, we will remember stories far longer than we remember any points that have ever been taught to us.

Why the climate crisis needs female leaders

August 6, 2019 By Joanna Martin

About
Latest Posts

Joanna Martin

Founder at One of many

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

6 reasons we need community (and how to find it) - January 15, 2021
The secret to rest: Dealing with a “Superwoman hangover” - January 1, 2021
Coaching and burnout: The trap for women who care - November 12, 2020

Climate change is perhaps the biggest challenge we’re currently facing as a planet. The scientists have spoken; the technology to turn things around is there.

What we need now are leaders who are ready to make the bold, and perhaps unpopular decisions that will create the change we need.

Whether or not you “believe” the evidence, the level of risk alone should be enough to compel us all to take action.

In my latest blog on joannamartin.com I explain why I think it’s now on our shoulders as leaders, big or small, to turn our knowledge into action.

“Nature gives so much to us. Not just beauty – but life.

The science is clear – our current lifestyle and treatment of her is unsustainable.

And it’s up to all of us: politicians, grassroots leaders, people who care of every ilk – to take personal steps to change our own actions and other’s minds.

We will not get there with only those who are already aware making changes. I believe we have a duty to change the hearts and minds of others too.”

Click here to read the full article – and please, share this with as many people as you can.

It’s up to each of us to do our part.

How to create a sacred space at home

March 26, 2019 By Joanna Martin

About
Latest Posts

Joanna Martin

Founder at One of many

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

6 reasons we need community (and how to find it) - January 15, 2021
The secret to rest: Dealing with a “Superwoman hangover” - January 1, 2021
Coaching and burnout: The trap for women who care - November 12, 2020

Whether you’re a proud, science-loving sceptic or a fully paid up embracer of all things esoteric in life, knowing how to create a sacred space at home is one of the most important steps you can take towards success.

It’s easy to get caught up in the multiple roles you play in the world: Parent, partner, independent woman, sister, leader, and so on.

A sacred space is one where you leave those roles behind and really connect to who you are at a deep level, beneath the various responsibilities to others.

Taking the time and putting in the effort to make a special area of your home that’s just for you can, in my experience:

Help you connect to yourself and hear your “inner wisdom” guiding you
Give you a reminder to focus on what really matters in life, and allow you to create success with more ease
Allow you to notice and be receptive to unexpected opportunities – hidden miracles you might not otherwise have seen

What exactly is a sacred space?

When I talk about a “sacred space” what I mean is a space that’s just for you. Its purpose is to be a place where you can pause, and reconnect to the bigger picture.

Now, this doesn’t have to be a religious space – you may already have a place in your house that’s designated for religious purposes.

But it should be somewhere you can feel a connection to something much bigger than you, whatever your name for that is: God, goddess, the universe, nature, creativity, or your own highest self.

You could call it an altar, a meditation spot, or a writing chair. I like to think of it as a little corner of your world that when you see it, walk past it, or spend time in it, your soul says “yes”.

What does a sacred space look like?

Everyone’s sacred space will be different. Just how yours looks will be partly shaped by how much physical space you’re able to set aside.

You might be lucky enough to be able to designate a whole room, or perhaps the very best you can do is to clear a few inches on a bookshelf or windowsill.

Personally, I always aim to set aside at least a desk and chair to use as my sacred space. To have somewhere I can sit and write my morning pages every day.

(If I’m travelling, I’ll find a corner of the hotel room – a bedside table even – where I can place some objects and continue my practice.)

Find something that works for you, and don’t get caught up on trying to create the “perfect” setting. What matters is that you use this place as a way to set your intention, and connect more deeply to who you are.

What should I put in my sacred space?

The short answer is, whatever you like!

Choose objects which are meaningful to you and which have a resonance or an inspiring quality to them.

My own sacred space includes some beautiful crystals I’ve been given; candles; the goddess cards I use to draw inspiration each morning, and a salt lamp.

You could think about including:

Plants or natural objects – found leaves, shells, or twigs
Photographs of loved ones or ancestors
Cards with images that speak to you
Souvenirs from meaningful trips, or found items from your travels
Quotes or poetry
Favourite jewellery
Fabric with beautiful texture or patterns

What matters is that every object in your space is one that has meaning for you. That doesn’t mean it needs to be valuable – a hand-scribbled scrap of paper can be worth more than an expensive antique.

If you’re creating a space for the first time, you might want to leave space for objects to gradually be added, rather than trying to “fill” it.

Or why not take yourself on an adventure to find those special things – a nature walk, a trip to an art shop, a visit to a church… the possibilities are endless.

What to do in your sacred space

This space is yours – it’s a physical reminder of your connection to the bigger picture; to Source, or the divine.

So, the activities you do there will naturally be ones which foster that connection.

You may wish, like I do, to sit and write your morning pages there.

Or perhaps you choose to pause, and take a few deep breaths when you walk past it.

It might be a place for prayer or meditation, or perhaps your space is one where you dance with joy, shaking off the weight of the world and remembering how glorious it is to be alive.

Maintaining your space

Keeping your space clean and clear is an ongoing practice. Cultivating a greater connection to your intuition means taking the care of your sacred space seriously, and honouring the intention with which you created it.

If you have an existing space, take a few minutes to think about what objects are in it. Do they still speak to you? Or are you ready to let go of them and move on?

Do you need to dust, clean, or refresh the objects on it for a new season?

A final note

My final tip for you is to make the space easy.

Let me explain: a while back, I used a corner of our attic guest room as my sacred space. It housed my desk, where I thought I’d sit to write my morning pages, and the meaningful objects I’ve gathered over the years.

Only somehow, resistance crept in. I found myself finding excuses not to go up there in the mornings as I’d intended – I was too tired, too busy, it was too cold…

Aha! Finally, I realised the problem. The attic room was chilly in the mornings. And making my usual morning tea before I began writing meant padding down to the kitchen, from which I had to climb two flights of stairs to get up to the cold room. No wonder my sleepy morning mind was coming up with excuses not to go!

The solution was simple. I popped an electric kettle, a stash of tea, and a heater set on a timer to start just before my alarm went off. Now, I could leave the bedroom, tiptoe upstairs to a welcoming, warm room with the refreshment I needed to start the day.

So if you can make your space even more easy to use, do it.

That might mean rearranging things so you have a comfy chair, better lighting, or a cosy blanket.

Perhaps you need to be stricter about not dumping laundry to fold on the chair you’d like to sit on, or just give everything a freshen up with some essential oils.

Make your sacred space a place that feels joyful to be in, and you might be surprised at the gifts it can bring you.

What’s in your space?

Share your tips and tricks for connecting to yourself in the comments below.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

Guest post: 6 lessons from taking the leap to do coaching certification

February 5, 2019 By Jen Le Marinel

About
Latest Posts

Jen Le Marinel

As a One of many Certified Women's Coach and founder of WildFire Walks, Jen combines the transformational power of the incredible One of many tools with the healing power of nature to help her clients feel more empowered to live a life they truly want to live. A life on their terms.

Patient and compassionate with a dash of playful rebel, she gently pushes back against the "should-dos" and "should-bes" so often imposed by our culture, our upbringing, our workplaces. Jen knows what it means to succeed in the corporate world...and what it's like to not want that, actually. She believes, and champions, that there is a different way. Her purpose; to playfully push the boundaries of what's possible in life, and to encourage and inspire other women to do the same.

Latest posts by Jen Le Marinel (see all)

Guest post: 6 lessons from taking the leap to do coaching certification - February 5, 2019

Hi, I’m Jen, an ex-corporate wild soul and One of many Certified Women’s Coach.

If you’d told me three years ago that I’d be living the life I’m living now, I’d have laughed in disbelief. It was the stuff of dreams, the sort of thing that Other People did – people that were far braver, far more daring, far more exciting than me.

My life was mapped out and, on the face of it, idyllic. I was successful, respected and had an extremely promising career ahead of me as an actuary in a prestigious FTSE 100 financial services company. I had a perfect relationship, a beautiful house, went on exotic holidays. I had every reason to be happy.

And yet…I wasn’t.

I can’t pinpoint the exact moment it happened, but around three years ago my life suddenly started to crumble around me. Or, perhaps I should say, inside of me.

I did Superwoman well – nobody knew anything was wrong until, suddenly, I couldn’t keep up the pretence any more and I tumbled into burnout, depression and despair.

I went from feeling like I had everything, to feeling utterly stuck, trapped and hopeless.

Lesson one: Rock bottom can be just the beginning

I was signed off work and went through the lowest months of my life. But working with a counsellor and coach helped me to start rebuilding my mental, emotional and physical health while I gradually rediscovered my sense of self.

I hadn’t realised how much I’d lost who I was! I was my job, my relationship, I was a people pleaser… but I wasn’t me.

I felt like such a failure at first.

I had always been a fiercely independent overachiever, and I felt so ashamed, guilty even, about how I was feeling! But admitting how unhappy and unwell I was proved to be the first, brave step towards living the life I actually wanted to live.

Lesson two: Your dreams are waiting for you to pay attention

My coach helped me reawaken a dream I had forgotten I’d ever had – squashed out of me by the “shoulds” and “musts” and “be happy with what you’ve gots” of a corporate career, a long-term relationship and a desire to fit in with those around me.

She reawakened the spark of my dream, and that spark set me free.

I found the courage to leave my relationship, which was life-saving but heartbreaking, and shocking for everyone around me. I’d hidden the problems so well, even from myself!

But when I left I felt the proverbial weight lift from my shoulders, felt the fog clear from my eyes, and I breathed a deep breath of fresh air that gave me strength.

And I looked forward, with a sense of possibility and excitement, for the first time in months.

But it wasn’t all plain sailing. My job was not fulfilling and the long, desk-based days in the office were beginning to feel soul-destroying. Something else had to change.

Lesson three: Change can feel scary (but it’s worth it)

My first move was to reduce to four days a week – at severe risk of career suicide!

Where other up-and-coming young professionals were working extra hours to prove themselves in the office, I used my day off alternately to rest and to volunteer at a local care farm I had been involved with for several years. I absolutely loved it, working outdoors with the students at the farm. But it still wasn’t enough.

My dream – to help others through coaching, therapy and nature – burned ever stronger and I knew I was never going to be fully satisfied spending the vast majority of my life in an office, as respectable, secure and well-paid as it was.

I still didn’t know when or how I’d make the leap though. Whilst I didn’t feel I really fitted into corporate, what else did I know, other than spreadsheets and office politics?

I was very much living the “one-day” dream, until, one morning, something finally snapped. I had found myself literally bored to tears in my windowless cubicle, and I made the decision to either find a new role in the company, or leave. Gratifyingly, I was offered a number of different opportunities in the company, all of which would have appealed at one time. But I just couldn’t get excited about the opportunity to climb further up the career ladder.

Something else called. Something stronger than the draw of approval and recognition. It was time. I was young, free, single, with a house about to be sold. What did I have to lose? So I left. It was time to give myself, and my dream business, a chance.

Lesson four: First, replenish yourself

First, I gifted myself some time out. I took a break and embarked on an adventure of a lifetime, walking solo from Land’s End to John O’Groats for charity. An incredible, life-changing, life-affirming 1400 mile journey taking three and a half months to complete. A journey that was every bit as amazing, challenging and rewarding as you could imagine!

When I returned, I set up my business, WildFire Walks, getting tired, stressed out professionals into nature to rest, reconnect and re-energise. I started planning events, yet I knew I needed something more if I was to help my clients in the way I really wanted.

Lesson five: The right support changes everything

Enter One of many! I had first come across Jo Martin the previous year, at her speaker training event, and had been inspired by her approach. I joined the Be One community and I loved the vision of the organisation. I knew it had some part to play in my life, so when the opportunity to train as a One of many Certified Women’s Coach crossed my path, I jumped at it.

Actually, that’s not quite the whole truth…I jumped at first, excitedly, then I froze, and ran in the opposite direction!

My Inner Critic jumped in the driver’s seat and I very nearly threw away the chance.

Who was I, to think I could do this?

How on earth could I afford to invest so much in myself, when I was out of work, had been ‘galavanting’ across the country, had no ‘real’ coaching experience (needless to say I completely ignored the experience of managing and coaching a team in my corporate world!), and STILL had a mortgage to pay?

But something in me nudged, kept nudging, nudged louder, until I couldn’t ignore it. This was too good to miss. I had to do this. So I jumped in with both feet.

Best. Decision. Ever!

Cue the most unbelievable and profound 18 months of my life. Aside from the obvious – coming out with a certification, new skills and a licence to share the incredible One of many tools with my clients – I’ve made lifelong friends, learned to step into and trust my own power, and rediscovered myself in the process.

The entire journey was transformational, from the foundation training through to the 5-day intensive through to the three month practical.

I discovered a support network like no other, and I’ve remembered how it feels to shine, to dream and to thrive. I’ve learned to celebrate myself and my story.

I learned to embrace my emotions, believe in myself and to help others do the same. I learned to trust my intuition and trust life. I’ve learned to ask for, and accept, help.

Most importantly, I’ve dared to dream, and to actually live those dreams.

Lesson six: Dreams do come true

Last summer, a lifelong dream came true for me. I followed my desire to live more closely with nature and spent four months living off-grid in a yurt in the woods.

It was a deliciously happy experiment into embracing simplicity, nature and back-to-basics whilst still participating in the modern world. I managed to combine my growing coaching business with some consultancy work for my old company – on my terms – and some part time work in an organic farm shop and cafe, whilst living in this gorgeous slice of heaven.

I would wake up to birdsong and the sound of the wind in the trees, watch the sun rise across the field with a steaming mug of tea, curl up in front of my log burner at night and listen to the owls calling. It was magical. I’d seen yurts in my future in my Soft Power Planning, and here I was, just a few months later, actually living that dream.

Through the One of many experience, which I’ve continued by stepping up to Lead the Change, I’ve realised it’s about continually taking steps, however small, in the direction of my ultimate vision – a nature-based retreat centre with yurts, campfires and coaching.

I’m now regularly tuning into my vision, checking in with my intuition, and watching out for and trusting in the opportunities that present themselves. The ability to coach virtually makes me location-independent, meaning I can make the most of these opportunities.

So I live in interesting times. My immediate path has never been less mapped out in my life, and yet I feel more free, more fulfilled, more self-expressed and more aligned with my ultimate vision than ever before. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t scary sometimes though! Leaving the security of a job and starting your own business certainly isn’t a decision to be taken lightly.

But… I’m getting to do what I really want to do whilst continuing my own inner journey exploring truth, freedom and possibility. I’m always learning, always growing, and I’m finding that my own experiences are helping me be a better coach for my clients. I love watching them blossom as they explore what really matters to them, rediscover their own dreams and reconnect with their own vitality. I wouldn’t change any of it for the world!

Curious about sparking your own dream?

If Jen’s story inspires you and you’d like to find out more about becoming a One of many Certified coach, click here to get in touch. We’ll find a time that suits you to have a chat with one of our friendly team, and see if our training’s right for you.

About Jen Le Marinel

The outdoors-loving, dream-whispering coach.

As a One of many Certified Women’s Coach and founder of WildFire Walks, Jen combines the transformational power of the incredible One of many tools with the healing power of nature to help her clients feel more empowered to live a life they truly want to live. A life on their terms.

Patient and compassionate with a dash of playful rebel, she gently pushes back against the “should-dos” and “should-bes” so often imposed by our culture, our upbringing, our workplaces.

Jen knows what it means to succeed in the corporate world…and what it’s like to not want that, actually. She believes, and champions, that there is a different way. Her purpose; to playfully push the boundaries of what’s possible in life, and to encourage and inspire other women to do the same.

How to make a difference in the world

January 24, 2019 By Joanna Martin

About
Latest Posts

Joanna Martin

Founder at One of many

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

6 reasons we need community (and how to find it) - January 15, 2021
The secret to rest: Dealing with a “Superwoman hangover” - January 1, 2021
Coaching and burnout: The trap for women who care - November 12, 2020

It can feel hard to know how to make a difference in the world – and frankly, most of the women I know don’t have a whole lot of spare time to think about it. Sure, we’ve got our ideals. We see the complex, vast and very real challenges our planet is facing right now. But there’s also the email inbox, the kids, the deadlines, and the occasional precious hour of self-care…

Changing the world can feel like one of many responsibilities we’re juggling.

And if it feels like it’s going to be an uphill struggle to get others to care about an issue, it’s even harder to feel motivated about taking action.

Yet apathy’s not an option. The world’s in desperate need of change, and for those of us in the privileged position to do something about it, our time is now.

In this episode of Jo & Co, I’m sharing a simple mindset shift that can help you begin to have a serious impact on the issues you’re passionate about.

The mindset shift that empowers change

In the video I share:

What you need to be comfortable with if you want to make a difference
How my leadership journey started – and how you can avoid the mistake I made
A fresh way of thinking about influence that leads to a truly powerful leadership stance

Take 5 minutes and watch the video now:

Whether you’re an established or emerging leader; whether you want to make a difference in your business, community, or family, this will help you do it with ease and grace.

I’d love to know if this helps reframe the difference you want to make in the world, and what cause you’re going to use this approach to change.

Want a helping hand?

If you’re ready to step into action when it comes to your purpose in life, working with a coach can be one of the most powerful choices you will ever make. Our Certified Coaches are trained and experienced in working with women who are passionate about creating change. Click here to look through the directory and find the right catalyst for your calling.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.