One of Many

Woman looking to create change

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Too much to do, too little time?

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Too much to do, too little time? Welcome to the somewhat knackered club! Research this year from the Mental Health Foundation Thinktank in the UK showed that 81% of women felt overwhelmed or unable to cope in the past year (and we’re not being swamped with spa days or lie-ins). Having too much to do and too little time is a challenge we face time and again within our community and even our own team.

So today I want to share not only a few ways that we’ve found of coping with the times that you’re overwhelmed, but the missing piece when it comes to really getting to the bottom of what’s going on. So you can get off the “hamster wheel” for good.

Why do you have too much to do?

Let’s start by thinking about the first part of the problem: all those things that you have on your to-do list.

No doubt you’ve got some combination of the following swallowing up your time faster than you can glug that coffee going cold on your desk right now.

  1. Things which might come under the heading of life admin (renewing the car insurance, booking those flights, taking the dog to the vet…)
  2. Work responsibilities: the full spectrum of tasks from emails and fiddly tasks to people managing, troubleshooting, big picture strategising and planning.
  3. Friends and family: helping your parents, your kids, your siblings and your friends with the challenges they’re facing
  4. Your relationship (if you’re in one!): spending time with your partner, nurturing a fulfilling physical relationship, and making space for connection
  5. And (although this one might feel like wishful thinking…) your own spiritual and emotional well-being. Going to concerts or exhibitions, being creative, travelling, exploring, getting still, connecting to your spiritual side

Now, I’m sure there’s absolutely no need to convince you just how much there is on your plate. You know all of this already.

But if you’re experiencing the feeling that there’s too much to do and not enough time the first half of that equation is one that is worth paying attention to.

How can you give yourself less to do?

In a nutshell there are 3 ways you can get through your list: Ditch it, delegate it, or do it yourself in the most effective way.

Saying “no” and strengthening your boundaries around what’s yours is a skill that takes practice, but it’s the only way to start reducing the load that’s piled on. Ever heard the saying “if you want something done, ask a busy person”? Once you’re known as someone who always dives in and makes things happen, it’s more and more common to be asked to do more.

Say no, say it’s not a priority, say you’d love to help but it’s simply not possible right now.

However you do it, getting used to gently but firmly upholding your boundaries is such an important part of staying on top of the endless tide of requests.

Sure there’s nothing on your plate you can let go of? Then let’s look at the next part of the challenge: not having enough time.

Why don’t you have enough time to do it?

We all have the same number of hours a day. Those rockstar women who change the world, raise 10 kids, make millions of pounds a year and travel to amazing places (which they then plaster all over Facebook…) have exactly the same amount of time as you do.

Unlike our to-do lists, time is equal. And it’s also finite. We can’t create more of it and we definitely can’t get it back once it’s gone.

What we can do is learn to use it in a way that gives us more space and allows the possibility of flowing with the hours we have at our disposal instead of against them.

I want to take a second to address the issue of equality here, because although we have the same number of hours in a day, depending on the hand that life has dealt us we all have very different things to do with them.

You might be able to afford to invest in more or less help with the things that are on your plate, for example.

Some of us have responsibilities, such as being a carer, or a parent, which others don’t. We all have different abilities, different opportunities and different commitments. And I don’t want to diminish that or suggest that each of us has exactly the same amount of control over the time that we have in our days.

What I do want to do is to draw your attention to the power you do have because – because no matter the circumstances, at some level you always have a choice in how you spend those hours and minutes.

And just as you have a say over things on your list you have a say in how you spend the time you have available to you. But here’s the thing – not every hour of the day is the same when it comes to getting things done. Approach the same task at 8 in the morning, or 4 in the afternoon, and you’ll see very different results.

Which leads me to the part that most of us were never taught to take into account when planning our days.

The missing piece of the puzzle: Energy

When you have too much to do and too little time it’s easy to get caught up in that simple dichotomy: hours in the day versus items on your to-do list.

And there are absolutely times when those two things are what you need to focus on.

When you’re overwhelmed, when you’re in the thick of things, when you’re fighting what feel like urgent fires – by all means use the tools you have available to get the most important things done in the time you have available to you.

What makes our approach is slightly different to others you might have seen is that in our training and philosophy we bring in a third focus – and that’s your energy.

When you start paying attention to the different amounts and kinds of energy you have and on how that can fluctuate, it’s like unlocking a whole new area of awareness.

That’s when you can start to experience having more time than you thought. Or creating times when you can achieve more than ever seemed possible. When even though you’ve made huge strides towards your goals, you can end your day not only at a reasonable hour but with a reasonable amount of energy left to do the things that you want to do.

Maybe even the things that no one else will know if you do – like taking really good care of yourself before you go to bed; processing some of your emotions in your journal; or just taking a few moments to be grateful for everything has come your way over the course of that day.

Need a hand?

We have lots of resources to share around this because we know how big an issue overwhelm is for capable intelligent women navigating today’s world.

If the very idea of having more free hours in your week feels like an impossibility, and overwhelm is starting to take over, maybe it’s time to take a deeper look at what’s going on.

Our free training: From Frantic to Fruitful is the best way to get started when it comes to implementing this missing piece of the time management puzzle and creating more time in your week – even if your diary’s full.

Click here to signup for the session.

In it you’ll start to understand the underlying causes of that frantic feeling and explore a very different way of approaching what you’re able to get done in the day.

How about you?

If you have too much to do and too little time I’m curious. Does it feel like you have way too many responsibilities you’re finding it hard to say no to? Or is it that the hours you do have seem to slip by without you getting done what you wanted to? And I’d love to know if energy plays a part in your awareness right now. Take a minute to check in the comments below.

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Can’t make a decision? Try this

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

When you can’t make a decision the feeling of mounting pressure can be intense – and the impact of not taking action can be bigger than you think.

A while ago I coached a woman who absolutely hated her job. I mean, really hated it. She described herself as “feeling slowly suffocated” by the time she spent at work… and yet when we talked it through, she told me there were simply too many options.

  • Should she follow her passion for illustration and try to make it as an artist?
  • Should she create a business sharing the work of other illustrators, using her knowledge of the industry to support others?
  • Should she follow her other calling and become a coach?

The choice felt too tricky to make. And meanwhile, she was stuck in the same routine, spending her time in a place that she hated while she put off making the “wrong” decision.

If you can relate to that feeling of being stuck, I want to share a simple process that can help you. But first, let’s get clear about one thing.

Why make decisions faster?

There are some decisions that you clearly don’t want to rush. If you’re considering something like whether to remain in your marriage; uprooting your family to move halfway round the world; or taking on a massive investment in a renovation project, you’ll likely want to spend some time meditating on the best course of action.

But as a rule of thumb, the faster you’re able to make decisions, the more successful you’ll be.

That’s not because you’re necessarily choosing the best course of action every time. But whatever action you do take gives you feedback – even if it’s that “this isn’t working” – and the opportunity to course correct.

When you stop making decisions altogether, you’re losing that forward motion.

So instead of getting new and different feedback from each choice, you’re stuck in a loop of running over the same options, and the same potential outcomes, without getting anywhere.

Analysis paralysis

This is what we call being in “Analysis Paralysis”. It describes those times when you’re not just taking your time over a decision, but putting off making it all together.

When you’re in that place, the inertia and “stuckness” can start to creep into all kinds of other areas of your life.

  • It starts to chip away at your self esteem.
  • You begin to question yourself, and doubt your ability to make a choice.
  • And eventually, it can even spiral into depression or anxiety.

The faster we can make decisions, the faster we get feedback, the faster we know if we’re on the right path.

So how do you make a decision?

Whether you’re choosing between two options that seem equally good, or gritting your teeth to choose between options where nothing feels ideal, here’s a 5 step process to move you out of inertia and into action.

1. Call it what it is

You’ll know when you’ve moved from “weighing up options” and into paralysis – so be honest with yourself. After a certain amount of time, you’ll find you’ve tipped into a place where it’s no longer about making the “right” decision as making any decision.

Maybe you’ve just set up your own coaching business and you’re trying to decide what to launch with.

Should you offer a group program, one-on-one coaching, or host an event? The reality is, after a while, you’ll get to a point where leaving the decision any longer is going to wind up with you broke.

Doing nothing isn’t an option.

You’re stuck in analysis paralysis – and it’s time to move on to step 2.

2. Get into the right state

We use the 5 Women’s PowerTypes™ to inspire the most powerful versions of ourselves, and the PowerType connected to decision making is the Queen.

When you connect to the Queen PowerType you’re accessing a specific set of resources that will enable you to swiftly take action without second-guessing yourself.

The Queen is serene, decisive, and she’s also visionary: she sees the big picture, and she’s clear. She knows that decisions need to be made, and she also knows they can be difficult.

What’s powerful about the Queen when it comes to decisions is that she’s connected to her logic – she wants to gather all the information that she needs – but she also trusts her intuition to steer her right. Above all, she wants the best for everyone she cares about.

How can you connect to Queen energy? Try thinking about the qualities I’ve described here – is there someone you know, in real life or a public figure, who exemplifies them? What would your posture look like if you were the Queen? How would you look at this issue that’s got you foxed?

If you’d like more inspiration for accessing the Queen, click here to download Life’s Little Toolkit. Along with our favourite resources to help you meet life’s challenges, it contains a guide to all 5 Women’s PowerTypes and some playlists to help you connect to their essences.

3. Ask “what do I know in my heart?”

Once you’re in that Queen energy, ask yourself what you know in your heart.

Sometimes, when it feels as though you’re stuck, it’s because although you know what course of action you should take, you just don’t want to. Maybe it’ll make someone angry or upset someone, even though you know it’s the right thing to do.

Listen for the answer and list out everything you do know in your heart.

One of the biggest ways you can get stuck in decision making is when you start to focus on everything you don’t know.

So shift your focus. Write down everything you DO know about the situation, and trust yourself, as the Queen, to be able to use this when you move forward.

4. Ask “Do I have enough information to make this decision?”

The Queen is happy to make decisions; she knows it’s for the good of everyone in her realm. But she won’t make one unless she has all the information she needs.

Maybe you’re missing a key piece of information that would allow you to make a final choice. If that’s the case, work out what’s missing and take steps to get all the details you need.

It’s not about getting tangled in endless research! Work out what you need to know, and commit to taking action once you have it.

5. Now, make a decision

You’ve connected to Queen energy.

You’re clear on what you know in your heart.

And you’ve made sure you have all the information you need to make your choice.

Now is the time to move into action.

But because this is the part you’ve been avoiding, you might experience a bit of resistance here – what if you make the wrong decision?

Here’s the good news: once you’ve got stuck in analysis paralysis, in most cases there is no longer a “right” decision. The impact of being locked in procrastination and not going anywhere means that ANY action you take is going to improve things.

If you discover that the choice you’ve made doesn’t work out, that’s useful feedback that will allow you to course correct and move onto something else. But you won’t get that until you move into action.

So the woman I was coaching didn’t need to waste her time trying to predict exactly what she should do when she left her job. Having gone back and forth about what to do, the right decision was simply to take action and leave the job that was draining her.

Whatever comes next, trust that you’ll be able to handle it. Whilst every option remains hypothetical, it’s impossible to know how it will pan out or what the “best” step is.

What are you in analysis paralysis about? What are your challenges and how are you going to move forward? Let us know in the comments – let’s celebrate moving into action!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Guest blog: Mindfulness for women

By

Annie Stoker

Annie Stoker

Master Trainer and Head of Coaching at One of many
Annie Stoker is perhaps the UK's most educated coach and trainer in what it takes to be happy. She has distilled 27 years experience in diverse psychological and spiritual perspectives into a simple but profound manual for the mind: The Personal Development Handbook.” She has coached influential figures, and been featured widely on TV, radio and in print.

Having experienced not just health and sickness, but also success and failure, marriage and divorce, wealth and poverty, Annie now knows that real growth is not another ‘let’s make it all ok’ campaign. It’s about finding the truth at the core of ourselves so that we have the inner freedom to deal with whatever life throws at us.
Annie Stoker

Latest posts by Annie Stoker (see all)

Mindfulness is everywhere. You can buy books on Mindful Cooking, Mindful gardening, Mindful walking. There are mindfulness diaries and even Mindfulness colouring books! So what does mindfulness for women look like?

Mindfulness has become a buzz word and is being rolled out through corporate, health sectors, schools and even in Government. It is an attention training technique known for reducing stress and increasing relaxation.

Mindfulness for women

Mindfulness isn’t just about calming down and observing your thoughts. Mindfulness is actually about waking up! It’s a tool to become totally aware in the present moment, feel radically alive and completely open to your own experience. Not only can life become more vivid, enjoyable and interesting, but mindfulness also brings the opportunity for profound healing of unhelpful mental and emotional patterns.

How? You might well ask.

Well here at One of many we use the Cycle of Creation as a way of describing how we create our reality. Simply put in any moment, we create meaning about that moment based on our beliefs, values, history, health and ideas about Source. This meaning then creates our mood and that feeling then impacts what we move towards.

This all generally happens unconsciously, which means we often get results in life that we don’t really want. However, mindfulness allows us to bring awareness to this process and to interrupt the habitual patterns of reaction that we have.

Mindfulness in practice

For example imagine walking into a restaurant to meet some friends, but as soon as they see you they all stop laughing. What do you make this situation mean? Do you think they were laughing about you, feel really uncomfortable and walk out? Or do you decide that they were planning a fun party for your birthday, feel really excited and try to tickle them into telling you? Either way the rest of your day will be impacted.

With mindfulness you can become aware of the thoughts you are having about your friends laughter and let them pass by. This can allow you to calmly ask them what was really going on without jumping to conclusions.

Bringing non-judgmental awareness to your thoughts can also set you free from habitual patterns such as self-criticism, negativity, discouragement and wallowing.

Emotions and mindfulness

It’s very powerful to bring acceptance to your emotions too. We tend to have a few emotions we like and lots that we don’t. However, if we take the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ labels off what we are feeling, we can bring compassionate acceptance to whatever emotions have turned up.

Judging and therefore avoiding emotions is at the core of most people’s challenges. If you are worried about your performance at work, you’re probably trying to avoid the feelings of failure. If you’re feeling jealous and trying to control who your partner is seeing, you are probably trying to avoid rejection. If you don’t want to ask questions at a seminar, you may be trying to avoid the feelings of humiliation you’d have if you get it wrong.

By bringing heartful awareness to your feelings you can learn to tolerate all of them. Emotions aren’t actually good or bad. They are just sensations. Some are pleasant and some are uncomfortable. With emotional equity you can welcome all of them, even the painful ones. This allows you to have an empowering conversation with your boss, shine the light of honest exploration with your partner or get a helpful answer to a burning question at a seminar.

This gives you the freedom to act from your heart, rather than from the old fears and patterns in your mind. I actually think heartfulness is a much better term than mindfulness! Bringing full hearted acceptance to your feelings is at the core of self love. And self love, as I’m sure you know, is the key for connecting with your yummy Lover powertype!

How to bring more mindfulness into your life

Here are some tips for cultivating Mindfulness:

  • Mindful Moments
    Set an hourly alarm on your phone and for one minute each hour close your eyes, feel your feet on the floor, notice your breathing and bring all of your attention inside your body to what you are experiencing
  • Practicing Pauses
    Instead of arriving somewhere and jumping straight out of the car onto the next appointment, turn off the engine, pause and fully arrive. Give yourself a minute to breathe, feel this moment before shifting to the next scene change in the movie of life.
  • Body Awareness
    Bring your focus to your right big toe. Take your awareness right inside your big toe and notice the sensations of your sock, shoe or the other toes against your big toe. Next move to your left thigh and feel the clothes on your leg or any pressure or tightness. Pick random parts of your body to pay attention to during your day.
  • Mindful Movement
    Instead of planning tomorrow’s supper when you are brushing your teeth, bring your full awareness to the feelings of the brush against your teeth, the toothpaste tingling on your tongue, the muscles in your arm holding your toothbush. Try paying full attention to every footfall while you are walking, feeling the wind flow past your face and the swing of your arms. Bring fresh awareness to drinking water so that you can feel the weight of the glass, the coolness of the water in your mouth and follow it all the way down your throat as you swallow.
  • Cultivating Compassion
    Send a warm smile of acceptance to all your emotions. Welcome them as a valid part of your experience. Without judgment or labels, gently investigate the sensations of each emotion. Where are they in your body, what shape, what colour, how do they move? Notice what actually happens when you let yourself feel even a bit of them. Does the world really end?!

Mindfulness isn’t just a practice, it’s a way of life. Practice regularly and it becomes a new way of finding peace with what happens in life, joy in the simplest things and a freedom to bring all your gifts to the world. Enjoy!

About Annie Stoker

Psychotherapist. Author. Property Investor. Dog-Lover. Chilled-Out Friend.

Annie Stoker is perhaps the UK’s most educated coach and trainer in what it takes to be happy. She has distilled 27 years experience in diverse psychological and spiritual perspectives into a simple but profound manual for the mind: The Personal Development Handbook.” She has coached influential figures, and been featured widely on TV, radio and in print.

Having experienced not just health and sickness, but also success and failure, marriage and divorce, wealth and poverty, Annie now knows that real growth is not another ‘let’s make it all ok’ campaign. It’s about finding the truth at the core of ourselves so that we have the inner freedom to deal with whatever life throws at us.

Annie is our Master Trainer and Head of Coaching at One of Many.

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Why sleep matters

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Remember when you were a kid and staying up late was just about the biggest treat there was?

Somehow you just KNEW that the most exciting things were bound to happen as soon as you closed your eyes… and you’d do anything to stretch bedtime out just a little further.

How times change, huh? If you’re anything like me, nowadays an early night and a long lie-in the next day is the gift money can’t buy.

Whether it’s lying awake with tasks and to-dos running through your mind, staying up late scrolling through social media or late nights when it just feels like we’ll never be done with the day’s tasks, these days it can be pretty challenging to get the rest we need.

Today I want to share a perspective on why sleep matters which you might not have considered.

Why sleep matters

Now, full disclosure: As the mum of two small kids, I can’t deny that sleep (or the lack thereof) has been something of an obsession in our house over the past year. There’s nothing like running a business on five hours of sleep, between two parents, to bring home the vital importance of getting the rest you need.

But assuming you’re not struggling through on a few short hours of shut eye (in which case you don’t need me to tell you why sleep matters), I want to get you thinking about this whole topic in a different way. For starters, have you considered that the way you look at your basic needs might be very different to the way a man would?

Take a look at this video to see what I mean:

Our mission at One of many is to equip one million grassroots women leaders to create the change we want to see in the world. That word “grassroots” is so important. We’re not saying you need to be CEO of a corporation, or be running for political office, to be a part of this change. (Of course, if you are, that’s awesome!).

But the women we want to see stepping up as leaders are also those incredible mums holding families together and raising kids who are brave and kind and ready to do the right thing.

The managers who take care of the people in their teams and bring humour, humanity and love to the corporate world.

Those of us taking care of ageing parents; babysitting for our friends so they can finally have that date night they’ve been talking about; setting boundaries and having difficult conversations that need to happen.

Taking care of your needs isn’t just about you

If every single one of us stepped up to be the powerful, inspiring leaders we’re capable of being, I believe we would see a bigger transformation than the world has ever known. To do that, we need energy. The kind that comes, at minimum, from getting the right sleep, nourishment and movement.

The bottom line is, your needs matter, and if you keep pushing them to the bottom of the pile, it’s not only you who will suffer. It’s your community too, and everyone who has the potential to be impacted by your unique gift to the world.

Ready to show up and shine your light as bright as the world needs you to be? Let us know in the comments!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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How to say no politely

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

If you wear lots of different hats in the course of your life, you know how valuable it is to know how to say no politely.

It’s one thing to say no to things you don’t want to do. But finite time and energy also means turning down requests for things we’d love to do from people we’d love to help.

So, how to say no politely without sacrificing our relationships or letting people down?

In this episode of Jo & Co, I’m breaking down the really simple template I use when I need to turn down an opportunity that doesn’t fit in with my priorities.

I deliberately designed this to be really simple because these kinds of challenges come around so often, and when you want to be helpful it’s incredibly tempting to say yes. I wanted a quick little framework I could whip out every time, and I hope you find it helpful when it comes to honouring your time without letting other people down.

3 steps to a healthy “no”

In the video I share:

  • What you need to be clear about BEFORE you get the ask
  • The crucial distinction that allows you to say no without offending, letting people down, or hurting their feelings
  • My 3-step process that leaves the other person feeling you’ve helped them without compromising your priorities

The most effective people in life are the ones who are able to gracefully say no to everything that takes them away from their values.

Saying “I’m just too busy” won’t cut it – it implies that we’re frantic, stressed and short on time. It also suggests we’re so bad at prioritising we can’t actually make space for something we’d be interested in – what a mixed message! It can really leave the other person confused about where they stand.

Using this framework allows us to say no at the same time as building relationships and supporting those around us. That’s crucial if we’re to have our biggest impact, and it’s something we can absolutely help each other learn and practice. So, when you’ve watched the video, I’d love to know what you’re going to say no to! Let’s encourage and support each other in the comments below.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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How to Juggle Competing Priorities.

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Are you caught up in festive “busy-ness”? – Giving your all to preparations AND juggling everyday priorities?

This time of year, women all over the world are multi-tasking their way to the “big day” feeling increasingly overwhelmed- festive to do lists, diaries and schedules crammed with a ton of extra “must do’s!”

So often seasonal tasks compete with all the other usual priorities and demands on your time, it can make the countdown to Christmas feel like it’s filled with festive madness rather than festive cheer.

It’s not Christmas… it’s stress-mas!

Does that resonate with you?

Perhaps it’s not just Christmas but most of the year. We all know those work deadlines, engagements, family commitments and relationships that can all demand your time and attention. A daily juggling act of competing priorities that makes you want to reach for the wine and chocolate!

It’s exhausting isn’t it? But…

Just because it’s always been that way, doesn’t mean it has to stay that way.

Let me share with you how to find your way with ease and grace through those competing demands.

What to do when everything feels like a priority!

So many things to do and so little time to do it- sounds familiar hey?

But, hang on sister do you REALLY need to be doing all of it?

Keys to juggling priorities…

  • Knowing what’s a priority
  • Making decisions that are right for you
  • Recognising you have a choice
  • Using the right Powertype

At One of many, we know how precious time is, how important it is to get that balance just right so that you have more time to do the things you love.

So, here’s my solution…

Ways to Effectively Juggle Competing Priorities.

    1. What is important to you?

      When you’ve got 101 things demanding your attention it can be hard to distinguish exactly what your priorities are.

      Priorities are like voices in your mind and some shout louder than others! But it doesn’t necessarily mean these are the most important- What IS important is to take the time to identify YOUR priorities.

      My tip is to write a list of all of your commitments.
      Ask this…
      Do I really need to do this?

      When you get really clear on what is truly important to you, when you see all the stuff that demands your attention, realisation dawns that you just don’t need some of it in your life!

      It’s not always easy to do but I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.

      Would the world REALLY stop turning if you stepped down from the school PTA?

    2. Set your boundaries.

      Generally speaking, as women we’re not always great at saying no!

      Let’s face it, we often…

      1. Do guilt
      2. Seek approval
      3. Think people won’t like us if don’t do something
      4. Exhaust ourselves multi-tasking to meet other’s needs

      Learning to say no is a wonderful gift; your self-worth increases, it frees up your time and you feel great energetically- What are you waiting for?

      I get it, saying no isn’t always easy. It may feel a little icky at first but believe me the more you do it, the more liberated you’ll feel!

      Saying no to others is saying YES to yourself.

      Wouldn’t it be nice to say “YES!” to that coffee with a friend? Instead of “I’m sorry, I’m too busy”.

      Next time someone asks you to do something you haven’t got the time, energy or space for- Try this “I’m not able to do that right now but this might help” or “Thanks for asking but I can’t make that day.”

    3. Other people demands.

      You’re never going to get away from the demands of others- we all have valid commitments to family, to work, to relationships, but, what we can do, is manage those demands effectively so that you feel in control instead of overwhelmed.

      If there’s one person in particular, say your boss, that’s responsible for competing priorities- try meeting their demands with this gem of a response.

      “I’m happy to prioritise this task for you right now but it will mean that I will have to place the other projects you have given me on the back burner. Is that what you would like me to do?”

      By taking action in this way you are pushing the decision back to them, this will help both of you to prioritise and leave you feeling a lot less overwhelmed.

    4. Give yourself permission not to.

      How often do you feel obliged to do something?

      This is something I’m familiar with too. A few years back I put together a package, clients had signed up and I felt obliged to deliver. The trouble was it was harder than I thought! Much too expensive and taking up way too much time.

      The solution?

      To give myself permission NOT to do it. It wasn’t working for me so it wasn’t going to work for my clients.

      Simply putting it out there energetically by saying to myself ‘You know what? I don’t have to do this’ enabled me to…

      • Find the space to come up with a more creative solution
      • Deliver an alternative programme without the stress
      • Free up my energy for other tasks

      This really great tip was first given to me by Wendy Harrington, one of our lovely team members here at One of many – Thank you, Wendy, you saved my life!

      Try it yourself, next time you feel obliged to do something. Maybe visiting relatives this Christmas. Give it a go! – give yourself full permission NOT to and just notice how energetically, that can open up new ways of dealing with it.

      Watch that stress melt away!

    5. Accessing the right PowerType.

      When juggling competing priorities, The Queen is perfect for the role. She is one of the 5 Women’s PowerTypes we work with at One of many. Although The Mother PowerType is great at multitasking, she’s a little too self-sacrificing for this task – What we need here, is The Queen, who…

      • Has a clear vision of her future
      • Knows what’s worth spending her time and energy on and what’s not!
      • Recognises her own values and priorities and can make decisions aligned with them

Now, although it’s true we may all have different personalities the great thing is that we all have the ability to access to the PowerTypes, to call upon them at certain times for certain tasks- it’s simply a question of choosing the right PowerType for the right time.

Want to learn more about how to say no? Do check out our free Soft PowerCast (podcast) on How to Say No Gracefully. You’ll find it our BeOne members area via the link below.

I know this time of year is super busy! So, tell me how do you juggle your competing priorities?

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.
We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Jo&Co Episode 11: Environmental Distraction

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Did you know that one piece of paper out of place on your desk gets your attention 6 times a day! That’s a lot of wasted attention and therefore wasted energy.

Clutter and disorganisation costs you time and money. If you find you are living and working in a disaster zone then it’s definitely a huge distraction.

Many of the ladies who do my BeFruitful program say that getting their space sorted is one of the most useful things they have ever done. This is because clutter and things out of place are a big drain on your mental faculties. It really is worth taking the time to sort out your environment because it unleashes a huge amount of energy.

Check out todays Jo&Co episode to find out if it’s time to blitz or bits.

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Jo&Co Episode #9 – Needs

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

As women we have a tendency to put ourselves last and therefore deplete our reserves. Over the years I’ve noticed that men are much better at taking care of their basic needs.

We’re not talking about feeling fabulous here, instead just the simple things you require to be okay, to survive or be at neutral.

Things like…

• Enough sleep
• Being hydrated with enough water
• Being fed with a nutritious meal.
• Affection – Did you know that human beings need to be touched 8 times a day to feel connected and part of the world?

Like many women you may well be the lynch pin of your family, or even your wider community. You get to bring so much joy to the people around you when you’re fine.

Check out today’s Jo & Co episode for tips to help you take care of the basics, so you can bring your best self and make your biggest contribution.

 

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Why I don’t believe in Procrastination

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

If you’ve ever found yourself putting off an important task then this blog is going to be useful for you. We’ll be exploring what causes us to procrastinate and what to do about it.

In my experience of coaching highly successful women I’ve discovered that a lot of women tell themselves they’re procrastinating when actually it’s something else. So let’s start with a definition.

My definition of procrastination is putting off an important task.

It’s not putting off an unimportant task, that’s prioritisation.

It’s also not putting off an important task when you’re tired. By my definition that’s energy management.

For example, recently I needed to film 3 new episodes of Jo & Co (my online TV show), I’d been to the hairdresser, I was all ready to go back to the studio but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. It would have been easy to think ‘I’m procrastinating,’ but when I took stock of all I’d been doing I just knew I wasn’t in the right energetic state to make great TV episodes. So I rescheduled, took a walk in the woods instead and replenished myself with some nourishing food, relaxing videos and an early night.

This brings me to a reminder of our One of many™ #1 Soft Power Principle which is: first replenish your energy.

I really can’t say this enough, your energy is the most important thing.

So instead of engaging superwoman to push through your to-do list when you need some time out, take it. You’ll be so much more effective and happier because of it.

From its Latin roots, procrastination literally means putting off until tomorrow.

But I don’t think using the word “procrastination” serves us at all. So often the inner critic is having a field day, and to tell yourself you are procrastinating makes you feel bad about yourself.

Let’s face it, sometimes we need to defer important tasks. So instead of giving yourself a hard time I invite you to look at why you’re doing it because this always opens up a solution. Ask yourself ‘why am I deferring this important task?’

If it’s not that you need to replenish your energy (always start there) perhaps it’s one of these other 6 reasons…

1. Lack of momentum.

One of the common reasons people don’t get things done is simply a lack of momentum. I’ve noticed this with a lot of my clients. If you’re starting a new business or are taking a shift in your business, the first thing you need to do is to get into momentum.

Start by prioritising what’s important and break it into smaller chunks so you can make a start. This begins to create momentum.

We teach this energy allocation process in our programs (especially BeFruitful) and at our retreats. It’s so powerful and exciting to witness the momentum build and burst forth into fruitful action.

2. Out of Flow.

Perhaps it’s an out of flow activity for you. By this I mean it’s not aligned with your natural strengths and talents. It just feels downright hard.

The simplest solution is to give it to someone else who can help you with the task. Someone who thrives on these kinds of activities. But that’s not always possible, is it? When I was a solopreneur I needed to do a lot of out of flow tasks. For me, it’s the detailed tasks like the figures that I find most challenging.

The way I found to do it was the batching for energy matching process. Quite simply this means tasks of similar energy should be batched together. Then you reward yourself at the end.

I used to do my figures every Friday afternoon and then reward myself by having drinks with my friends.

As a business owner it’s important to know your figures, so I still have to do this task. What I do now is use the Women’s PowerTypes™ to embody the most efficient and effective energy for the task at hand.

You can find out more about the Women’s PowerTypes™ in our program BePowerful: Unleash the real you (click here if you want more info).

3. It’s Unpleasant.

Maybe you need to let go of a staff member, have a strong conversation with a client, or a difficult conversation with your spouse or teenage daughter. None of us can completely avoid the fact that on occasion these challenging and uncomfortable tasks arise.

The best way to deal with this is to do it first thing the very next day. Or in other words ‘Eat that Frog’, the well-known phrase from Brian Tracy’s best-selling book.

Don’t forget to reward yourself when you’ve done it.

In our BeOne community you can always ask for someone to be your “buddy” when it comes to getting things done, so you have an accountability partner for such life challenges.

4. Overwhelm

Another commonality I see in high performing women is putting off things that take longer to do. Those tasks that require consistent effort get delayed.

Remember Soft Power Principle #1? Check your energy levels first. If you are low on energy then click this link to discover the overwhelm first aid approach with 10 simple steps to calm.

If your energy is ok, then take some time to break the task down into chunks to get that momentum going and schedule some time in your diary.

Perfectionism

Sometimes you might put off completing or starting something because you fear it won’t be good enough. This is procrastination with an emotional reason.

First recognise that’s what you are doing. One technique we use is to future pace the imperfection. Annie Stoker, our head coach, is brilliant at this. Basically you think of the worst case scenario of the completion of the task and then keep thinking it through to fruition. Just what is it that you are really afraid of? It’s really important to bring some humour and give it some detailed thought. Remember, nothing is ever really the end of the world!

Decision Phobia.

Are you in analysis paralysis? Wrestling around in the mental inability to make a choice, stuck on the indecision roundabout.

To overcome this try harnessing your Queen energy and just make a decision…any decision! There is no such thing as right or wrong. Just make a decision and begin moving, get the feedback, make another decision, get the feedback and so on.

In conclusion

To sum up when you feel a bit stuck ask yourself…

  1. Is this task important or unimportant?
  2. Do I have the energy to do it right now?
  3. If yes, why am I putting this off? Check through the 6 reasons above.

Very occasionally there is another factor at play. What you thought was important isn’t important to you!

In my experience of life (except when I need to replenish my energy), if I have energy for some tasks, the only time I don’t have energy for important tasks is because they’re not really important. I find the more I live on purpose and the clearer I am about my purpose, I always have energy to do tasks that need doing.

It’s hard to procrastinate when you’re really clear on your big why.

My takeaway message is be kind to yourself.

Can you see that it’s rare you’ll be putting something off just because you don’t want to do it? It’s more often than not one of the other 6 reasons and you now know how to overcome them.

You can explore all of these solutions in more depth in our powerful online program BeFruitful.

Let me know how you’re getting on by leaving a comment below.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.