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Exhausted for no apparent reason? Here’s how to recover

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

A couple of years ago I was so tired that trying to decide whether to just collapse into bed, or have a bath first, was enough to leave me utterly stuck. OK, in my case there were pretty clear reasons for me to have got to that state: I was 26 weeks pregnant, anaemic, and I’d just completed 2 events practically back to back – one of which had required to me to be onstage for 3 days straight. But whether you’ve been in Superwoman mode like I was, or if you’re exhausted for no apparent reason, when the going gets tough the wise woman takes heed.

We all know what it’s like to be tired from time to time, or to reach the point of exhaustion after an especially draining period. If you’ve been getting a big project at work off the ground; are breastfeeding a newborn or have been pushing it for some other reason, you probably anticipate needing to replenish for a while. But if you’re feeling exhausted for no apparent reason and just can’t seem to stop feeling tired, it’s definitely time to take stock.

Here are 5 signs you’ve got a point of exhaustion, and 5 emergency steps to take right away – before you find yourself at burnout.

5 signs you’re exhausted

Overdoing it is one thing. But if you’re in a chronic state of stress, overstimulation and over performance – and you’ve been in that mode for a few months or even a few years – it can be harder to recognise the signs.

Here are 5 things to watch out for.

1. You’re tired… all the time.

No matter what you eat or how much you sleep, you’re still tired. Ironically, this can actually make it even harder to get to sleep or experience quality rest when we do finally drop off. It’s a sign your system’s running on adrenaline (quite probably reinforced with caffeine) which can leave your nervous system actually unable to calm down enough for you to get the rest you crave. It can also show up as oversleeping which still doesn’t seem to cure your tiredness.

2. Procrastination or lack of motivation.

If you’re an overachiever, you’ll know this as the time when you really start to be hard on yourself for not performing. Similar signs include decreased executive functioning: reduced productivity, reduced performance, forgetfulness, and a general sense of mental fogginess.

If you find yourself berating yourself for messing up or dropping the ball, take a moment to consider if any of these other signs are present. Could you be suffering from exhaustion?

3. Escapism

This is a symptom I’ve lovingly nicknamed the “Netflix sign”. It’s when you know there are things you could do that would probably help how you’re feeling — like going to bed, for one — but instead you stay on the couch and fire up another episode of whatever series you’re into. Or lie in bed scrolling through Instagram or checking Facebook.

These kinds of behaviours tend to arise because we’re trying to avoid a feeling of overwhelm, and they often go hand in hand with other “bad habits” like drinking too much alcohol, smoking, or reaching for the sugary snacks.

4. Detaching.

When we’re tired, many of us find ourselves tending to detach from others – for me it’s accompanied by a feeling of “I just can’t be bothered talking to anyone”. I’ll stop ringing my family, not want to talk to my husband when the kids have gone to bed and find myself avoiding communication with friends. Ironically, it’s when I’m most likely to need the support of those who love me that I withdraw most; can you relate?

5. Trying to control/fix things.

This is the flipside of the tendency to detach or withdraw – some of the women I’ve coached have shared that the opposite is true. When they’re exhausted they find themselves going into “fixing” mode, in an effort to control the people around them.

Suddenly driven to distraction by your colleague’s disorganization or your partner’s refusal to address their family strife? Check in with yourself first – is this a distraction from your own exhaustion?

What are your early warning signs?

This list is by no means exhaustive, if you’ll pardon the pun. We all have unique patterns and behaviours that come up when things have got on top of us. Take a few minutes to think about times when you’ve been at a point of exhaustion – or to be honest abut how things are right now.

If you’ve got an exhaustion sign that’s not on this list, chances are someone else will share it too. Share it in the comments below, so we can help each other spot the warning signs together.

How bad is it?

Are you reading through the list above thinking you’ve got every single one of those signs going on in your life – and more? Then it’s time to take action, because you might well be very close to – or already – burned out. If that’s the case, reach out and let us know. Click this link to book a call with the team. Burnout needs dealing with, and we have some of the best support out there for women who’ve reached that point – and if we can’t help, we can signpost you to somewhere that can.

If you’re not in crisis, and know you need to turn things around before you get to that point, here are 5 steps to take.

5 steps to get you out of exhaustion

These steps are simple, because we’re dealing with exhaustion. That’s the point where it actually becomes really hard to make plans for how you’re going to replenish yourself and get back on top of things, because you’re simply not functioning.

So, these 5 steps are designed to get you out of exhaustion and back to a more resourceful place from which you can start to see a real difference.

1. Reach out

One of the most important skills we need to foster is the ability to lean in to the support we need – from each other. Ask for help, in whatever form you need. In my case, it was literally asking a friend to come round and tell me: do I need to have a bath now or just go to sleep?

Maybe you need someone to babysit so you can go to bed at 7pm, or to do your grocery shopping, or lend you their spare room for a night whilst promising not to tell you the wifi password.

Don’t know who you’d call? Our BeOne community is the online space where women around the world gather to find community and support. Click here to join us.

2. Sleep.

Of course you need sleep, you’re exhausted. But when you’re past the point of clear thinking, it can be easy to underestimate just how powerful this is. Turn off the TV, put your phone on airplane mode, and get to bed early. Like, 7pm early. It’s time to get serious about catching up on sleep.

If you’re having trouble sleeping, work through some of the other steps first – or try some simple steps to help you unwind like avoiding screens or taking gentle exercise.

3. Rehydrate.

This is a less obvious one, but it can make a real difference becauseone of the first things we forget to do when we’re knackered is drink enough fluid. Rehydrate quickly by mixing up a jug of a mix of 1 part juice, 4 parts water, and a couple of pinches of salt.

Rehydrating the brain dramatically helps your executive function – and when you’re thinking more clearly you’ll take exponentially better care of yourself as you get back to a place of replenishment.

4. Nourish.

Yup, we’re going right back to basics. If you’ve been grazing on chocolate or eating out of the work vending machine, it’s time to get some decent nutrients inside you and eat a good square meal. Get your body filled up and make sure you have the energy you need to replenish physically.

5. Get physical

Finally, do something to take care of your physical body. A massage, a sauna, a long bath… something to take care of your physical body will make an enormous difference to your exhaustion. It doesn’t have to be expensive and it definitely isn’t a luxury – it’s an essential if you’ve found yourself at rock bottom.

Taking these 5 simple steps will give you the best possible chance of replenishing yourself to a stage where you can start thinking about a longer term strategy to get out of this state for god. Put them somewhere where you can see them in case of emergency – and pass them on to anyone in your life who needs them.

Need to get back on track?

When you’ve dealt with a crisis of exhaustion, it’s time to look at longer term ways to avoid reaching that limit. That might include reducing stress, asking for regular support from people around you and getting really clear on what you need in order to maintain your energy and wellbeing.

If you’re a member of our BeOne Community, check out Soft PowerCast 52 for an audio session all about how to deal with exhaustion. And if you’re not yet a member, click here to join – it’s free and this and a whole bunch of other resources are free when you do.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Are you tired? How to boost your energy without getting more sleep

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Are you tired? Maybe that’s a silly question. A lot of us get so used to ‘running on empty’ that we barely register we’re exhausted any more. Instead of feeling awake at the start of the day and tired at the end, we’re existing in varying shades of knackered: from flat out exhausted (yet somehow keeping going) to just that state of background fatigue that’s become normal.

But having energy to do the things you want to, and still feel good, isn’t just a luxury. It’s essential if you’re going to have the impact you’re capable of with your life.

Feeling like you’re not only functioning, but ready and even excited to get started on the activities ahead of you is something that everyone of us has the potential to tap into.

What’s more, being tired can actually be dangerous

According to Barna Group, a research group in the States, only 39% of us are satisfied with the amount of sleep we’re getting, which means that 61% of us are probably feeling pretty tired. It really matters because according to another piece of research, this time from Harvard Medical School, if you’re only sleeping four to five hours a night it’s the equivalent of operating with a blood alcohol level of 0.1%.

So most of us are trying to manage our lives, our businesses, our work, and our teams with impaired executive functioning. You are not alone. It’s not your fault. But it is your responsibility to do something about it.

Let’s start by getting honest. How often do you feel tired? Is it every day? Is it once or twice a week? Are you feeling run down on a month-by-month basis? Is it very rare for you?

Write it down, get clear, be honest with yourself.

So why are we so tired?

Well, the problem often starts with the way we’re shown how success works. For example, I started my working life as a medical doctor. This is a realm where 24-hour shifts are not unknown. I used to work on the oncology ward for 12 days on, two days off. And those weekends that I worked, one was a 12-hour day and one was a 14-hour day. So it was hardcore, and as you can imagine, pretty exhausting.

It may well be that you also got trained inside an organization which was run on similar lines – where pushing yourself and working all hours was something the senior people, the ones you looked up to, always did.

And yet the evidence is clear: it’s not healthy, or even effective, to be operating at a state of depletion. Let alone the fact that it’s not much bloody fun to be on your knees with tiredness all the time, right?

Just as we were ‘raised’ in a culture where tiredness was often celebrated, it’s up to us to change that for the women looking up to us if we want to model a different way of doing things.

So, what can you do if you realise you really are feeling pretty knackered all the time? How can you boost your energy without sacrificing the many important things you do each day, or doubling the amount of sleep you get each night?

The good news is, there are some really effective strategies we can use to boost the energy we have available to us, even without changing the amount of rest we get. If that sounds too good to be true, then read on – the 3 tips I’m about to share could have a real impact on your life.

Are you tired? 3 changes to boost your energy without getting more sleep

1. Replenish yourself

If you’re in a state of chronic tiredness, and you’re experiencing that loss in executive function; indecisiveness maybe, or an inability to make clear decisions, then you’re probably not in the best place to think about about the changes you’ll need to make to deal with your tiredness.

The good news is, you don’t need 14 hour’s sleep or a day at the spa to get back some of your energy. (Though if either of those are options for you right now, I give you permission to grab them with both hands…)

Some fresh air, movement, and making sure you’re hydrated and fed will give you the base you need to think about other changes you can make. Drink a big glass of water; make yourself a snack and head out for a quick walk round the block. It’s amazing the boost these simple things can give you.

Come back, and it’s time to take a look at real changes to make a difference to your days.

2. Batch your tasks

One of the biggest ways we leak energy is when we switch between tasks.

You’re in deep focus mode preparing a project, and then your email pings. An urgent message has come in, and you’re back in your inbox, only while you’re there you remember a few other things you ought to do. Whoops, there’s that email from a friend you meant to reply to last week, only you didn’t have time. Should you do it now? Before you know it, 5 minutes has become an hour and by the time you return to the big piece of writing you’ve totally lost your train of thought.

It’s those moments of switching from one kind of energy to another that can really deplete us over the course of the day. Ever felt slightly groggy after being on social media for a while, as you tried to remember where you were before you went in for a quick look at what was going on? Those sluggish, ‘where was I?’ moments build up to sap your focus from the things you want to be doing, not to mention the way we often beat ourselves up about procrastinating.

Often, it’s not the amount of things on your to-do list that is the problem. It’s the number of different energies on your to-do list on any given day.

You know you’re shifting from energy to energy when the laundry looks really attractive instead of doing some work. Or when you just need to go for your third cup of coffee for the morning and it’s only 9:30am…

That’s often an internal kind of identifier that you’re shifting energy from one energy type to another energy type. Whereas, say you’ve got 15 tasks on your list for today, you might actually find that they can all get batched into just three different energies. And if you re-organize your day to do them together rather than just starting at the top and going down, you’ll find you’re much less tired when you get to the end of your day.

In Be Fruitful, our 6-week online training that helps busy women free up 5 hours a week (at least!) to do what they want, we delve into this in much more detail. (Click here if you’d like to get the full lowdown on the training). I call it Batching for Energy Matching and it’s a foundational principle, because it makes such a difference so quickly.

As a starting point, try taking 10 minutes at the start of your day to block out time for the different things you’ll need to do, and when you’re best placed to do them. Do you like to ease into your day with some admin tasks while you sip your coffee and get into the swing of things? Or do you prefer to get the big, scary tasks done so that you’re relaxed for the rest of the day?

Paying attention to the ebb and flow of your natural energy and grouping your tasks accordingly is the best way I’ve found to change up my energy, reduce my tiredness and ultimately maximise the impact of my work. I’d love to know how it works for you.

3. Find your rhythm

I don’t know about you, but every month I go through four pretty distinct seasons of energy. A winter where I want to withdraw from the world, a spring, a summer, and an autumn.

We all have cycles. And even if you’ve been through the menopause, a lot of postmenopausal women tell me that they still notice that they are cyclical. That their energy levels cycle.

My third suggestion is for you to start to think about yourself as a being who goes through cycles and rhythms which can be predicted and relied upon. And to realize that, if you start to harness those natural advantages, those natural strengths and those natural optimum times that you have, that you might be able to create real shifts in your energy levels.

One of the most powerful ways to bring rhythm to our life is through the use of ritual. And this makes sense when we look at the scientific research behind it because human beings really are creatures of habit. Ritual, rhythm orientates us in our life and helps us tap into the energy that allows us to be most effective with the least stress and depletion.

You will have times of the day where you are at your peak for different tasks – start to notice it about yourself. And then start to lay a ritual into the day to help you be ready for those things.

So for instance, I have a ritual to start the day. I get up, I go down into my kitchen, I make my tea and I do some morning writing. Three pages every single day, and then I have a little way of getting in contact with my purpose, what I’m up to.

Then I have little rituals to help me transition through parts of the day. So when I leave my house and commute across the garden to my studio, I walk the long way around. I go out through my front door the long way around through my garden, and just that extra minute or so that’s part of the ritual of coming into my studio here and doing my work for the day leaving family, mummy over in the house and having this separate space.

As the old adage goes, if you fail to plan, you’re planning to fail. Well, I would say, if you fail to plan like a woman, you’re planning to fail as a man.

So always overlay any planning process you have with the recognition that you’re a cyclical creature who is not as necessarily as modal as your average man.

Managing our energy is such a huge part of being the leaders we are able to be, and so I’m always curious about how this goes for you. Leave a comment below, and let me know if finding a rhythm and batching your tasks to match your energy makes a difference in your day-to-day tiredness. I really would love to find out.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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How to Juggle Competing Priorities.

By

Joanna Martin

Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.

Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Are you caught up in festive “busy-ness”? – Giving your all to preparations AND juggling everyday priorities?

This time of year, women all over the world are multi-tasking their way to the “big day” feeling increasingly overwhelmed- festive to do lists, diaries and schedules crammed with a ton of extra “must do’s!”

So often seasonal tasks compete with all the other usual priorities and demands on your time, it can make the countdown to Christmas feel like it’s filled with festive madness rather than festive cheer.

It’s not Christmas… it’s stress-mas!

Does that resonate with you?

Perhaps it’s not just Christmas but most of the year. We all know those work deadlines, engagements, family commitments and relationships that can all demand your time and attention. A daily juggling act of competing priorities that makes you want to reach for the wine and chocolate!

It’s exhausting isn’t it? But…

Just because it’s always been that way, doesn’t mean it has to stay that way.

Let me share with you how to find your way with ease and grace through those competing demands.

What to do when everything feels like a priority!

So many things to do and so little time to do it- sounds familiar hey?

But, hang on sister do you REALLY need to be doing all of it?

Keys to juggling priorities…

  • Knowing what’s a priority
  • Making decisions that are right for you
  • Recognising you have a choice
  • Using the right Powertype

At One of many, we know how precious time is, how important it is to get that balance just right so that you have more time to do the things you love.

So, here’s my solution…

Ways to Effectively Juggle Competing Priorities.

    1. What is important to you?

      When you’ve got 101 things demanding your attention it can be hard to distinguish exactly what your priorities are.

      Priorities are like voices in your mind and some shout louder than others! But it doesn’t necessarily mean these are the most important- What IS important is to take the time to identify YOUR priorities.

      My tip is to write a list of all of your commitments.
      Ask this…
      Do I really need to do this?

      When you get really clear on what is truly important to you, when you see all the stuff that demands your attention, realisation dawns that you just don’t need some of it in your life!

      It’s not always easy to do but I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.

      Would the world REALLY stop turning if you stepped down from the school PTA?

    2. Set your boundaries.

      Generally speaking, as women we’re not always great at saying no!

      Let’s face it, we often…

      1. Do guilt
      2. Seek approval
      3. Think people won’t like us if don’t do something
      4. Exhaust ourselves multi-tasking to meet other’s needs

      Learning to say no is a wonderful gift; your self-worth increases, it frees up your time and you feel great energetically- What are you waiting for?

      I get it, saying no isn’t always easy. It may feel a little icky at first but believe me the more you do it, the more liberated you’ll feel!

      Saying no to others is saying YES to yourself.

      Wouldn’t it be nice to say “YES!” to that coffee with a friend? Instead of “I’m sorry, I’m too busy”.

      Next time someone asks you to do something you haven’t got the time, energy or space for- Try this “I’m not able to do that right now but this might help” or “Thanks for asking but I can’t make that day.”

    3. Other people demands.

      You’re never going to get away from the demands of others- we all have valid commitments to family, to work, to relationships, but, what we can do, is manage those demands effectively so that you feel in control instead of overwhelmed.

      If there’s one person in particular, say your boss, that’s responsible for competing priorities- try meeting their demands with this gem of a response.

      “I’m happy to prioritise this task for you right now but it will mean that I will have to place the other projects you have given me on the back burner. Is that what you would like me to do?”

      By taking action in this way you are pushing the decision back to them, this will help both of you to prioritise and leave you feeling a lot less overwhelmed.

    4. Give yourself permission not to.

      How often do you feel obliged to do something?

      This is something I’m familiar with too. A few years back I put together a package, clients had signed up and I felt obliged to deliver. The trouble was it was harder than I thought! Much too expensive and taking up way too much time.

      The solution?

      To give myself permission NOT to do it. It wasn’t working for me so it wasn’t going to work for my clients.

      Simply putting it out there energetically by saying to myself ‘You know what? I don’t have to do this’ enabled me to…

      • Find the space to come up with a more creative solution
      • Deliver an alternative programme without the stress
      • Free up my energy for other tasks

      This really great tip was first given to me by Wendy Harrington, one of our lovely team members here at One of many – Thank you, Wendy, you saved my life!

      Try it yourself, next time you feel obliged to do something. Maybe visiting relatives this Christmas. Give it a go! – give yourself full permission NOT to and just notice how energetically, that can open up new ways of dealing with it.

      Watch that stress melt away!

    5. Accessing the right PowerType.

      When juggling competing priorities, The Queen is perfect for the role. She is one of the 5 Women’s PowerTypes we work with at One of many. Although The Mother PowerType is great at multitasking, she’s a little too self-sacrificing for this task – What we need here, is The Queen, who…

      • Has a clear vision of her future
      • Knows what’s worth spending her time and energy on and what’s not!
      • Recognises her own values and priorities and can make decisions aligned with them

Now, although it’s true we may all have different personalities the great thing is that we all have the ability to access to the PowerTypes, to call upon them at certain times for certain tasks- it’s simply a question of choosing the right PowerType for the right time.

Want to learn more about how to say no? Do check out our free Soft PowerCast (podcast) on How to Say No Gracefully. You’ll find it our BeOne members area via the link below.

I know this time of year is super busy! So, tell me how do you juggle your competing priorities?

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.
We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.