One of Many

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Why self care is a priority for leaders

By

Joanna Martin
Joanna Martin
Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin
Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

For leaders who are serious about having the impact they want to on the world, self care is a priority that’s not to be ignored. I don’t just mean leaders in the ‘traditional’ sense – CEOs, politicians, founders. If you want to set a great example to your kids; be a force for change in your team, organization or small business or simply feel proud to set your own course in life, this needs to be at the top of the list.

Self care and soft power

Soft Power is the term we use at One of many to encompass a whole range of principles and behaviours, which together form a new paradigm of female leadership.

Top of the list?

Soft Power principle #1: First, replenish yourself.

It’s the mantra our team repeat to ourselves when things get hectic; it’s what our coaches teach their clients; it’s what the leaders in our programs support each other to do, time and again.

And yet, something funny happens when we start to understand the importance of taking good care of ourselves. If you’re not careful, you can begin to notice some unhelpful behaviours creeping in…

3 reasons self care can slip down the list

1. Perfectionism creeps in

You don’t have the full hour you wanted to go to that yoga class… so instead you stay slumped on the sofa, scrolling through your phone.

The heavens open right before your grand hike in the countryside – may as well catch up on some work emails instead, right?

Or you commit to sessions at the local pool, since swimming’s the one place you can clear your head, only you need a new costume. And nothing fits. So that time to yourself slips quietly off the calendar, never to return…

Part of our challenges around self care can often come when we imagine a “perfect” scenario for what that self care will look like. Uninterrupted quiet, a partner who’s thrilled to give us time to ourselves, a world that runs smoothly and on time. It doesn’t exist, right?

  • Are you letting perfectionism get in the way of doing any kind of self care at all?
  • How could you consciously choose to lower the bar and make “good enough” self care better than none at all?

2. Superwoman takes over

Superwoman is the archetype of our times. She’s the high achieving, always-on, success-at-all-costs woman who to put it bluntly, is on a fast track to burnout.

Sometimes, she shows up in our self care with a focus on competition and “success”.

Never mind going for a walk – she wants to sign up for a marathon, and set a ridiculous sponsorship goal while she’s at it. If you’re thinking of eating a bit more healthily, she’ll be the voice in your head telling you nothing but a 3-month juice fast will do. And so on…

Take a moment to think about how you’re taking care of yourself. Is it in ways that feel delicious, restorative and precious to you? Or has Superwoman snuck in and slipped on your cape?

  • Try brainstorming a quick list of 5 minute ways to practice self care. Deep breathing, a mindful cup of tea, a stretch, a silly text to a friend… what would fill you up?
  • Set three alarms throughout the day, and pick one from the list. Setting micro-goals like this can help disrupt Superwoman, and start building the habit you need.

3. Life takes over

Probably the most common reason we find ourselves in bad habits when it comes to self care is a very prosaic one. Life just… happens. We make good resolutions, create time, feel great. Then there’s a work crisis, a family drama, or you get super excited about a new project – and before you know it, the calendar fills up.

We all move through cycles and seasons of busyness and activity in our lives.

Don’t beat yourself up, if you’re noticing that things have slipped slightly.

Do take the opportunity to check in with yourself, and take action if you need to.

Hold yourself accountable, and schedule in self care like the priority it is.

Use those around you to support you: Tell a colleague you’re going out at lunch; join a class or book in for a massage.

The overlooked side of self care

One thing it’s important to remember is that self care doesn’t always look like those stereotypical images of long baths or massages.

  • Sometimes, self care might mean getting training in an area of life that’s making you anxious, whether it’s your relationship or your finances.
  • It’s asking for help from your boss when you’re sinking under your schedule; not checking email when you’ve finished work.
  • Saying no, even when it’s met with resistance.

Self care is fundamentally taking care of you – and other people won’t always be happy with that. Managing their reactions, and holding fast to your own priorities, is an art that leaders must cultivate.

You might have heard me talk about self care from the perspective of the Lover PowerType – this beautiful, magnetic, sensual aspect of female leadership.

And it’s true; self care can mean gorgeous robes, spa days and walks in nature; it arises spontaneously when we’re deeply connected to our love for ourselves and our own needs.

But self care is just as applicable when we’re accessing our “Queen” PowerType – decisive, strategic and making the best decisions for her “realm”.

After all, for a Queen to be Queen and leading her realm, she has to prioritize self care.

You can’t have a burnt out, overwhelmed, knackered Queen.

So what does she require her realm to do? Get her the best doctors, chiropractors, nurses and dentists – the best possible care in the realm – to look after her.

She has to accept that as part of her duty, if she’s going to be able to be the figurehead she needs to be.

Every leader needs to take self care seriously

Need a hand setting boundaries?

If you could do with some support to create effective boundaries without feeling like you’re letting people down, take a look at Enough is Enough.

It’s our free guide to creating unshakeable boundaries with grace, and you can download it right now by clicking here.

How are you doing… really?

Let’s have a quick check in, ladies – how are things with you right now? Flat out and flailing, achieving what you need to with grace, or somewhere in between?

Share in the comments, and leave a message of support for anyone who could do with a hand. We’re all in this together!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Your personality type and leadership: a new perspective

By

Joanna Martin
Joanna Martin
Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin
Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

If you’re curious about what makes you tick there are a whole host of different tests and profiles out there, each of which can bring their own insight. The Women’s PowerTypes offer a fresh perspective, that’s designed specifically to enhance and enlighten women in leadership roles of any kind. If you’re a woman who’s interested in your personality type and leadership, then I’d love to introduce you to the 5 Women’s PowerTypes, and explain a bit more about how you can use them to guide your growth.

Personality type and leadership

We don’t believe that your personality or leadership can be reduced to a single “type”. As I explain in the video, the 5 Women’s PowerTypes are different ways of being that all of us have access to.

But you will probably find that certain PowerTypes come more naturally to you than others.

And that can have crucial implications for how you can expand and broaden your leadership capacity, without losing sight of who you are.

In this 4 minute video, I share:

  • The 5 Women’s PowerTypes, their different characteristics and typical expressions.
  • Common misconceptions about the PowerTypes, and what to bear in mind.
  • A personal example of how I’ve applied the PowerTypes to better understand my challenges as a leader – and what I do now to overcome them.

Would you like to find out more?

For many of us, one of the best places to start when it comes to understanding the PowerTypes is by getting in touch with Queen. She’s the part of you that sets clear boundaries, is clear about what she wants, and gracefully accepts the support and help she needs to bring her vision to life.

To learn how you can start to embrace your Queen PowerType, click the link below to download our free guide:

Enough is Enough: How to gracefully set unshakeable boundaries.

In it, I’ll explain how you can get in touch with Queen and start to bring more of her energy into your life. It’s a great way to begin to get to know this powerful PowerType, and pave the way for more space to discover the other ways you can lead.

How about you?

Which of the 5 PowerTypes in the video resonate most with you? Is there one you feel instinctively drawn to – or one that you find yourself judging or rejecting? I’m so curious to know your response, especially if you haven’t come across them before.

Share your reaction in the comments.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Guest post: What anxiety really feels like

By

Abigail Athaide
Abigail Athaide
Abigail has over 20 years experience in relationship marketing having worked with clients within Global FTSE 100 companies, animation, film, nutraceuticals, education, and within her own companies. She currently works within the marketing and strategic arena of her family’s global business developing their interests in publishing, art, property, finance and agriculture.

Her family’s vision has been to create viable legacy businesses which supports culture and community. These are achieved through their umbrella company called “Village Sanctuary” with locations in Goa and Kenya, where they have built a thriving art, culture and heritage centre for residents, artists and the local community. In their first year alone the project welcomed over 1000 children from the local schools to explore the village of artists, workshops, crafts, a live radio station, and food venues.
Abigail Athaide
Latest posts by Abigail Athaide (see all)

Standing on the tube platform at South Kensington, a feeling of overwhelm came over me. I felt hot, light headed, wobbly on my feet, but unable to move – as though my feet were welded to the floor. I could see and hear everybody around me, but they were moving in slow motion. It came from nowhere, and there was nothing I could pinpoint as a trigger. I was in my twenties and it wasn’t until some years later that I identified that moment as a “panic attack”. So this is what anxiety really feels like.

In my forties, it happened again. This time it felt like hitting a wall. I was emotionally spent, going through the emotions of nurturing my son, running my businesses, keeping the house going and dealing with difficult neighbours objecting to a planning application – a saga which had lasted over a decade.

What anxiety really feels like

To the outside world I was ‘functioning,” but it was getting harder and harder. My emotional resilience to silly things was off the scale, and I would quickly lose my temper and my perspective. I didn’t want to socialise, and every time I went out the fear of others talking about me, or bumping into the neighbours or somebody I knew was crippling. I would break out in a cold sweat, feeling as though my knees could collapse from under me.

My sleep pattern was completely erratic and I was medicating my emotions with food, sugar, caffeine and wine and isolating myself.

I realised something had to change – but I had no idea where to start.

So I started by saying “yes!” to something completely out of my comfort zone in my current frame of mind.

The Power of “yes!”

A lady I had met once invited me to the One Woman Conference, as she had a half price ticket. We agreed to meet there, so I arrived to face the first of many fears – walking into a room full of hundreds of women. Oh my goodness – I had no idea what to expect!

I sat quietly at the back hoping I could just be invisible and thinking, well at least this is going to be a family pass for a weekend away in London.

That weekend reignited a healing journey for me. I realised that for too long I had neglected myself. My emotional tank was completely empty and I needed to rediscover what would fill that up for me.

I distilled this into one word: “reconnection”.

I had disconnected from my mind, body and spirit and needed to reinvest in those areas. Just like a bank account my emotional account was overdrawn and I hadn’t discovered a strategy to deposit and save energy.

My journey to reconnection

I discovered one of the most important elements of my recovery from anxiety: food.

Food is a huge passion of mine, but as I began to pay closer attention to my energy and moods I noticed something interesting. When I’m feeling crap and disconnected I gravitate towards bland food, crisps, cheese, “love in a bag” – sugar. It’s as though my taste buds are in “neutral”. I avoid colour – in the way I dress and the way I eat.

At first, I believed that my emotions were affecting my gut. But then I began to question if it might actually be the other way around. What if the emotions were the last link in the chain, and perhaps the “disconnection” started in inflammation in my gut?

The gut/brain connection

According to growing research, the vagus nerve is the longest nerve in the body. It runs all the way from the brainstem to the part of the colon that helps regulate many critical aspects of human physiology, including heart rate, blood pressure, sweating, digestion, and even speaking.

Learning this was an “aha!” moment. So this was the gut/brain connection that I kept reading about. Turns out, there was truth to the saying “gut feeling” – and it’s a physical connection, not a metaphorical one!

I kept reading about gut bacteria that live in your body naturally and help your intestines break down food. One fact I love is that the average lifespan of a bacterium in your microbiome is 20 minutes. That means you have the opportunity every time you eat to begin to change the population of your gut!

I decided it was time to Marie Kondo my gut and control my hormones, particularly cortisol, as my adrenals were exhausted. A blood test revealed that my vitamin D levels were non-existent.

Gradually I came to understand that the food I ingest is a metaphor for life, and how I view life. Think about it for a moment: Are you eating to exist, or eating to truly enrich your life and support your purpose?

I learned that a healthy gut would reduce inflammation in my body as a whole, and replenishing my good bacteria would allow me to process foods better as well as, critically, allowing me to absorb the mineral and nutrients in the food I ate. In turn, that would support my emotional resilience… at least that was the theory.

Testing and experimenting to find what works

I researched and I talked to friends and family and most importantly trusted my intuition – my gut. I took a number of natural supplements for the symptoms I felt needed to be addressed urgently, kept a detailed food and emotional diary… and slowly I found myself a new normal.

My husband is a natural pharmacist, and as I learned more and more about the importance of nutrition we were inspired to begin a new project together: “The Naked Pharmacy”, providing 100% natural remedies and supplements backed by science and expert advice.

The supplement that made the most difference to me was one called “Saffrosun”, made from organic saffron. I literally felt like the sun had been turned on inside me within 7 days and I just felt lighter and calmer, and as though I was able to make better positive decisions overtime. It tackled my overworked cortisol levels taking it in the morning when the cortisol levels were the highest allowed them to adjust to a balance over the day allowing for better restful sleep. The ripple effect of better cortisol for me was I lost weight, felt more energised and my brain fog was eased.

One of my favourite colours is orange so I instinctively loved this spice in cooking, but never realised that there was genuine historic and scientific evidence for its use for emotional balance – and that it contained vitamin D. Even now, 2 years later, it still works for me. I will take it and within an hour feel aware that my breathing is calmer and I feel more balanced.

As a One of many woman, I also connect with the Women’s PowerTypes, relating them to the chakra colours and integrating them as foods and clothes to support how I’m feeling. So if Lover is orange, and we’re struggling with self care, it might be time to eat more salmon, mangoes, and oranges and integrate spices such as turmeric and saffron.

How about you?

If you know what anxiety really feels like for you, and maybe you’re ready to make a real change, I urge you to take stock in a gentle way and discover your internal body and its relationship with food.

Start today and have a good look at yourself and ask “what’s working in me and for me, and what isn’t?”. Gently and with curiosity, park your preconceived ideas and set aside what other people have said, what you have read, what works for so-and-so, and reconnect with yourself.

You are unique. A unique collection of experiences, DNA, emotions, and food history.

As part of your routine you might find it valuable to keep a detailed food journal which doesn’t just monitor your food or drink in-take, but your moods, the weather, moon cycles, when you eat, who do you eat with? It’s the way we live and the way we are that creates our health – not just the food!

Patterns may emerge that can help you understand what supports or triggers an emotional state such as anxiety and how that manifests for you. Perhaps you’ll be able to discover tools that can support you holistically, so issues don’t escalate – and you can leave feelings like stress and anxiety behind.

Meet Abigail

Spice Queen | Recipe inventor | Inappropriate giggler

Abigail Athaide - she shares what anxiety really feels likeAbigail has over 20 years experience in relationship marketing having worked with clients within Global FTSE 100 companies, animation, film, nutraceuticals, education, and within her own companies. She currently works within the marketing and strategic arena of her family’s global business developing their interests in publishing, art, property, finance and agriculture.

Her family’s vision has been to create viable legacy businesses which supports culture and community. These are achieved through their umbrella company called “Village Sanctuary” with locations in Goa and Kenya, where they have built a thriving art, culture and heritage centre for residents, artists and the local community. In their first year alone the project welcomed over 1000 children from the local schools to explore the village of artists, workshops, crafts, a live radio station, and food venues.

Find recipes and read Abigail’s blog at www.reconnection.kitchen.

For a special discount at The Naked Pharmacy as a member of the One of many community, simply go to the website www.thenakedpharmacy.com and use the code OOM20 for 20% off all products – or just call Kevin for advice.

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How to find more energy

By

Joanna Martin
Joanna Martin
Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin
Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

Ask me how to find more energy so you can focus on the things that really matter to you, and the answer I give might surprise you.

At One of many our Soft Power principle number one is “First, replenish your energy” – and as a doctor, you might expect me to advocate eight hours sleep a night, regular exercise, or an energy-boosting diet.

Those things are all great. But most of us are already doing our best with them. There’s a more powerful question to dig into if you really want to shift the way we’re able to show up for the causes we love.

Where are you losing your energy?

For most of us, there are two big areas where we find ourselves “leaking” energy:

Saying “yes”, and saying “no”.

Let me explain.

Energy leak #1: Saying NO

For some of us, saying NO is costing us a huge amount of energy.

I remember this most vividly from drama school. The school I attended had this amazing motto: “Good humans make good actors”. So as you might expect, as well as the skills training to learn to act there was a lot of personal development type stuff going on.

Initially, I found myself resisting it. Even though I’d made the bold choice to quit my medical career and attend, there was still a part of me that felt really out of my comfort zone. Eventually, I realized that it was actually taking me more energy to say no, explain why I wasn’t going to do something or why I didn’t do it, and to try and hold myself back from the experience than it would to actually just say yes and have a go.

Can you relate?

There’s often a part of us that works really, really hard to protect us from making a mistake, or failing, or looking stupid, or whatever our biggest fear is.

So you might say no to new experiences because you’re worried about failure.

Or about what other people might think – your colleagues, or your partner, or your parents, or your kids. Maybe you’re even worried about what you might think about yourself.

If that’s the case for you, I invite you to ponder this:

How much energy is it taking you to say “no” to opportunities that involve some perceived risk, as opposed to just letting rip and getting it “wrong”?

(The wonderful thing is – you can get it wrong. You’ll learn, and grow, and try again.)

You might be bringing so much energy to saying “no” to things, you’ve lost sight of the fact that it’s actually easier to be a yes. Especially at the beginning of something, when you’re not yet in momentum, yes can be everything.

So if you’ve been saying that you want to start writing your novel, or learn a new skill, or get back into yoga, it might be that one tiny yes is all it needs.

Don’t wait for things to be perfect.

Write for half an hour after the kids are in bed, or stretch for 10 minutes before your morning coffee. Just do what it takes to bring that “yes” energy in and see what gets freed up when you’re no longer resisting.

Energy leak #2: Saying YES

Now, once we start saying yes, then comes the next problem. Because for many of us, when we start saying yes to things we find ourselves expending way too much energy on all the things we’re agreeing to.

Someone says, “Can we have coffee?” You say yes before you even thought about it.

Can you handle this extra project?

Can you take the minutes at this meeting… can you drop everything and pick up the kids from school… can you sort out the car’s MOT

… it never ends, right?

If you find yourself saying yes to everything and ending up completely overwhelmed, it’s time to bring some no in.

You’re showering energy everywhere rather than your vision – no wonder you’re struggling to find the mojo you need to make a difference. 

The simplest question in the world

So here’s what we’ve discovered.

Some of us, in some contexts, need to bring more “yes” into our lives.

Some of us, in some contexts, need to bring a lot more no.

Knowing which is where your discernment comes in.

So here’s a super simple exercise to start off with – this only needs to take 5 minutes, but it can bring you a huge level of insight into where you can tweak things to free up your energy.

Grab a paper and a pen, and think about the different areas of your life which are not currently satisfying you.

You can have a look across a few different areas, but start off with one.

The question to ask is this: Do you need more yes energy or more no energy?

Write for 5 minutes, just freeflow without censoring, and see what comes up.

What would the Queen do?

The Queen is the Women’s PowerType we use to delve into questions like this. The Queen’s always mindful of how she spends her energy, and since she trusts herself implicitly, and knows in her bones how irreplaceably valuable her time and energy are, she doesn’t second guess decisions.

So if you’re finding answering the question challenging, you might want to try stepping into your “Queen” energy.

You could literally imagine placing a crown on your head, try walking a little taller or listen to a piece of music that helps you feel confident and in charge.

Turning insight into action

Once you’ve established the direction your pendulum needs to swing in, it’s time to take action.

If you could do with an extra hand, we have a free guide to making powerful decisions around boundaries that are depleting your energy.

Click here to download your free Enough is Enough PDF guide to creating unshakeable boundaries.

How about you?

Are you the Queen of powerful boundaries, or more of a “say yes first, ask questions later” kind of gal? Share in the comments below – between us all, we’ve got all the bases covered!

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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Guest post: 7 daily strategies to reduce overwhelm

By

Thea Jolly
Thea Jolly
In-house Coach at One of many
Thea is one of our Certified Coaches and part of the coaching team on our the Lead the Change and Be Powerful Programmes.

Thea's mission is to help women feel at peace with themselves - because only then can they make their biggest and boldest contributions to their families, communities and the world.
Thea Jolly
Latest posts by Thea Jolly (see all)

This article is by Thea Jolly, one of our Certified Coaches and part of the coaching team on our Lead the Change and BePowerful Programmes.

Modern life is often busy, chaotic and overwhelming. If you struggle with a tendency to take on too much or hold yourself to impossibly high standards, you might well feel overwhelmed from time to time. Many of us live in our heads too much, doubting ourselves and ruminating on the bad stuff – what we’ve got to do, what we should have done, and how we wish things were different.

How to reduce overwhelm – day by day

In my Daily Drops of Calm video series I offer simple techniques that can bring some peace, calm and perspective to our daily lives at work and at home.

Here are seven simple practices that can quickly take you from frantic and frazzled to calm and centred.

1. Start your day in Peace

When my kids were very young, mornings could be difficult. It got to the point where I’d had enough of being woken up by a loud ‘Mum!’ in my ear, or worse, being hit on the head, and starting the day off in pain, engulfed by the fear reflex or just plain grouchy.

Toddlers get up very early – but I had to come up with a better way to start my day. I made a conscious choice to change my daily routine so that I could start my day in peace.

Sometimes, I’d set the alarm for 5.30 but mostly I was able to wake at 6 and have at least a few minutes to myself before one of them came padding in. And as my husband was commuting into London everyday he made me a cup of tea before he left at 6am. I could sit in bed, sip my tea and wake up in peace.

Some days I would only have a couple of minutes, but on other blissful mornings I would get to enjoy a whole hour to myself before I had to get up. It made a massive difference to how calm and in control I felt throughout the rest of the day.

Even now, when my kids are teenagers who sleep in for hours, I love that feeling of waking early and reading, meditating or journaling, and it seems to set the tone for the coming day.

Is there room in your schedule to allow yourself to wake up more gently, and do something just for you before the rest of the day’s activities begin?

2. Press the Pause Button

Do you have days when from the moment you get up to the moment you go to bed you feel busy, busy, busy and you don’t have a moment to yourself? What often happens is you go through the day on automatic pilot, responding and reacting to what’s happening to you in unconscious, and often reactive and unhelpful ways.

It doesn’t feel good does it?

I’ve found that getting into the habit of taking just five minutes from a busy day to stop and pause really helps me.

Try this by giving yourself a few minutes with a cup of tea – preferably outside, or by a window – to press the pause button and be still.

Let your thoughts wonder lightly without getting caught up in any particular train of thought.

Let the worries go and be still in that moment.

Notice what you see and what you hear and allow yourself to step back into the present, in your senses, into yourself.

It’s like a drop of calm in a busy day and instead of taking a precious five minutes away from you, it gives you the sense of having more time, energy and control than beforehand.

3. Your thoughts are not true!

Do you go about your day believing everything you think? Do you take everything you say as the gospel truth? I used to – before I realised that thoughts are often automatic and just because they are in my head doesn’t mean they are true.

Learning to notice and label your thoughts is extremely powerful. For example, when you next notice that you are feeling stressed or upset, stop and pause. Tell yourself that what you are thinking is just a thought and it’s not true. Start questioning and standing back from your thoughts instead of taking them to be the gilt-edged truth.

When my children were younger I used to get irritated when they messed around at the table because I thought that it would inevitably lead to an argument or get out of control. When I realised that this thought was not true, it was just one of many possible interpretations, I could choose whether to listen to it or not. OK, I’m not saying it’s always easy, and it’s a practice that builds into a habit over time.

In this case, I decided to label it as my ‘messing-around-always-leads-to-arguments’ story and when it triggered me I took responsibility for that triggering.

I could choose to walk away, soothe myself with deep breathing, and sometimes even join in the silliness!

I know that when these thoughts are attached to strong emotions, they feel completely true and it’s hard to disbelieve them, but they are only one interpretation of what’s going on.

You can decide whether they are helpful or not and whether you are going to heed them.

4. Stop “Shoulding” yourself.

It’s time to eliminate the word should from your vocabulary. Many of us use it all the time, piling unhelpful pressure and guilt upon our shoulders. How often do you say: I should, I must, I have to, I need to as you go about your day?

And how does that make you feel? Do you spring into action joyfully? Probably not.

What if you used the word ‘could’ instead?

I could make those phone calls now. I could visit my mother. I could finish this document today.

Notice how much lighter this feels, and how much more likely you are to do The Thing when you are using could instead of should.

So, next time you are feeling stressed or fearful notice the words you are using. Stop shoulding yourself and start coulding yourself instead.

5. What do you need right now?

When you are rushing around, dealing with the demands of life, do you put other people’s needs before your own? At work, at home, or with your family and friends?

This drop of calm is to stop and ask the question, what does my body need right now?

Do you need more sleep, a glass of water, do you need to get outside in the fresh air?

Do you need to stand up and move away from your desk for a few minutes before getting back to work? Do you need to get an eye test? Do you need an evening on the sofa with your partner or kids to watch your favourite box set? Or do you need some alone time?

Get into the habit of asking yourself: What do I need right now? What does my body, my soul, my mind need right now? And if you listen carefully, you might be surprised by the answer.

Learning to tune into yourself and your body like this means you are able to manage your energy far more effectively. Managing our energy helps us deal with all the day to day activities and demands with more patience, resilience and balance. What’s not to like about that?

6. Experiment with Trust

Many women grow up deciding that to be safe, get stuff done and be approved of, they need to be in control of themselves, the world around them, and even other people. We become control freaks, needing to micro-manage everything to make sure that things run smoothly. This awareness of what’s going on around us, this hypervigilance to what needs doing, what we need to control is a big drain on our energy. Can you relate to this?

Furthermore, when things don’t go the way we wanted or planned, we get anxious, stressed and sometimes downright stroppy. We end up acting in reactive ways that we later regret.

Instead we could start believing that everything is going to be OK. I know this is a massive change for many of us, because our whole belief system that needs to shift. But we can start with five minutes at a time and slowly bring back a sense of trust and faith in ourselves. And ironically, this very letting go of control, gives us a different, but I would argue, more powerful sense of being in control. (You’ll have to believe me until you’ve tried it a few times!)

To experiment with trust, take a deep breath and let go of your need to be in control. Ask yourself: “What if, in the next five minutes I could trust that everything is going to be OK?”

Breathe and trust that you have the competencies, skills, courage and resources to deal with whatever comes up.

You are just one person with one of many interpretations of the best way to do something, and in reality you don’t always know best.

  • Sometimes the chaotic way children do things, brings about a more positive result (if we let them).
  • Sometimes trusting that a lastminute.com colleague really can get that task done on time without your direction will bring positive results that you hadn’t even considered.
  • Sometimes, letting go of the responsibility for everything means you can focus on what’s most important. It could be life-changing.

Go on, give it a try, and start with just five minutes a day.

7. What did you do well today?

As humans we tend to focus on the negative. It’s what has kept us safe for so long; scientists call it the negativity bias. To counter this, a good habit to get into is to take a couple of moments to really appreciate what you did well today.

Alongside all the ‘shitty stuff’ that you want to change, there are many little things, and a few very big things that you’ve done well today.

  • Have you kept your children alive?
  • Did you take time to speak to a colleague when he was upset?
  • Did you pay that bill on time?
  • Did you smile at a stranger?
  • Did you drive your children to school, or ask about their day?
  • Did you move over when you heard the police car siren?

I know life is not all gold stars and awards, but we have stopped noticing all the important daily things that we do well.

Next time you tie your shoelaces notice how fast, nimble and amazing your fingers are.

Next time you go to bed feeling like you’ve failed your children go through the day and count all the ways you’ve loved and supported them. Yes, you may have done some things or not done some things which make you feel bad, but that number will be far less than all the good stuff.

Trust me on this.

If I could visit you in your head I would be able list over 100 things you’ve done well today and there will only be about five that we could call ‘negative’. Stop focusing on the five negative ones and savour all the other things you are doing.

All these ideas take less than five minutes a day, and by experimenting with them you can find out which work best for you. With practice they could become powerful tools for a calmer, happier and more fruitful life.

Want more daily drops of calm?

Thea Jolly is one of our Certified Women’s Coaches, and is an in-house coach on our Lead the Change and Be Powerful Programmes.

For more daily drops of calm, and to find out when Thea releases her weekly video, click here to visit and like her Perfectionism Coach page on Facebook.

Subscribe directly to her You Tube channel by clicking here.

Or to find out more about Thea, click here.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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How to avoid spreading yourself too thin

By

Joanna Martin
Joanna Martin
Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin
Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

You know when, mid-shower, you realize you left shampoo off the shopping list again – so you try to convince yourself a mouse-sized amount of over-diluted product is going to get you through another wash? So many women find ourselves doing exactly that with our time and energy. We water ourselves down until there’s barely anything left to go around, whilst pretending we’re totally on top of it all. It’s exhausting. So today I want to invite you to join me at my kitchen table, so I can share a nifty distinction I’ve found when it comes to knowing how to avoid spreading yourself too thin.

Why knowing how to avoid spreading yourself too thin matters

The shampoo thing is actually a pretty apt example here. Because when you’re trying to take care of everyone else’s needs – your boss, your neighbour, your mum, your best friend, the friend you’re not actually that close to but who always seems to be popping up on messenger with an urgent request for your take on her latest drama… it’s often your own that suffer most.

It might be that you just don’t have a spare minute to sort out your basic needs: making sure your groceries are stocked up, and your space is organised, rather than being a dumping ground for tasks you haven’t got around to.

Maybe you find yourself skipping your lunch break to help a colleague with the deadline they’re about to miss. Sacrificing a gym session because you’re being “mum taxi” at the last minute. Or staying up past midnight organizing finances for the community association, because they just “don’t know what they’d do without you”.

The cost of “I’m too busy”

When you’re spread too thin, lots of little sacrifices made over time can gradually end up. You might find yourself feeling frazzled, forgetful and exhausted. Your executive function starts to suffer, as you juggle multiple deadlines and demands. And eventually, that stress can take a more serious toll – burnout, exhaustion, and a feeling of chronic overwhelm.

So whether you can’t remember what life was like when you weren’t overcommitted, or could just do with a refresher on how to set clear boundaries, take 5 minutes now to watch this:

Need a little more support?

If you know that taking on too much is a real challenge right now, you might want to take a look at BeFruitful. It’s our much-loved online time and energy management program designed specifically for busy women. It’ll show you how to free up 5 hours a week, minimum, whilst actually making you more effective. And setting clear boundaries is just one of the topics we cover in the easy bite-sized modules, to help you get to the root of your busy-ness as well as learning the practical tools to handle it.

Click here to find out more about the course, and enrol.

Who’s at your table?

If today’s video was helpful, I’d love to know how you’ve created better boundaries in your life. Share your tips below so we can help each other take care of our needs as well as those of everyone else.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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How to motivate yourself to exercise

By

Joanna Martin
Joanna Martin
Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin
Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

You already know what you need to do to stay healthy. Eat your greens, move your body, get enough sleep… And yet, so many of us find ourselves lapsing when it comes to taking care of our bodies. Today I want to share a simple mindset technique for how to motivate yourself to exercise, change your diet, or embrace whatever healthy habit is top of your list.

The most effective way to make change

Karen, one of the ladies in our community, asked a great question in our Facebook Group. She wanted to know the group’s tips on finding ‘towards motivation’ when it comes to health.

If you’re not familiar with the distinction, ‘towards’ motivation is a way to describe something that inspires you to take steps in the direction of a specific goal.

For example, if you’re stopping smoking you might be motivated by:

  • Being a great example of healthy living for my kids
  • Enjoying extra energy and good health
  • Treating myself to a monthly massage with your extra cash

It’s different from ‘away’ motivation, which focuses on what you’re leaving behind. In the above example, that would be:

  • No longer being a bad role model to my kids
  • Getting rid of that persistent cough and continual feeling of tiredness
  • Stopping wasting money on cigarettes

You can see the difference, right?

Among other things, “away” motivation tends to wear off once you’ve taken the first steps. (When your cough is gone, that’s no longer driving you forward.)

Whereas, ‘towards’ motivation tends to build and strengthen as time goes on, making the change more likely to stick.

Why motivation to get healthy is hard

Now, health can be a particularly tricky area to find our “towards” motivation for, partly because of the huge role our media culture plays in our relationship to our bodies.

For example, in a 2016 study by Dove, researchers found that one out of every two Australian women reported feeling worse about themselves after looking at images of attractive women in magazines.

When we’re often encouraged to compare ourselves to unattainable physical standards, it’s natural for us to start to frame our healthy choices in negative ways.

“I need to lose weight round my middle.”

“I hate how my arms look in sleeveless dresses.”

“I wish I could stop eating so much junk food.”

This kind of self-talk breaks my heart. It adds to the countless ways women often blame, criticise and find fault with ourselves. What’s more, it often does very little to motivate us to make change.

After all, who’d want to show up for an exercise class with a sharp-tongued drill sergeant, constantly pointing out your perceived faults and shortcomings? (OK, I know the brutal bootcamp thing works for some people – but most of us could do with a bit more support, right?)

How to motivate yourself without criticism

So, when Karen reached out for help finding ‘towards’ motivation when it came to her health she was absolutely on the right track.

As always happens, when someone in our tribe reaches out for help, the women around her rally.

And the responses to this question were brilliant examples of the different ways we each find our own ways to thrive.

Here are 5 that might help you. As you read through each one, think about how this might apply to you right now, today, or this week. How could they support you to feel great about making positive choices when it comes to your health?

1. Focus on the present – not the future

It’s easy to get hung up on future outcomes when it comes to things like doing exercise or eating healthily. But what about how good they feel in the present? Enjoying delicious food, having fun playing frisbee in the park or letting yourself relax into a yoga class – these moments can be their own reward. The clear-headed feeling you get after going out for a brisk walk or the emotional release of a high-energy workout are worth savouring in themselves.

What activities leave you feeling great? How can you build more of them into your life?

2. When you’re healthy, you can give your best

If you’re a leader aiming to make a difference, you’ll be at your most effective when you’re feeling physically fit. That might mean balancing your mood to enable you to lead your team through challenges; making sure you’re really able to make the most of your time; or just having the energy to approach your mission with a positive mindset.

What’s the contribution only you can make, and how will being in full health support that?

3. Taking care of your body is a form of gratitude

However badly we treat our bodies, or unkindly we think about them, they are astonishing, complex, beautiful systems. Every day of your life your heart’s been pumping blood around your body. Your brain’s been absorbing and processing information. Your digestive system has been turning food into incredible cellular chemistry, giving you the energy to keep going; your organs have been processing and integrating a vast array of processes.

How can you show your incredible body how much you value and appreciate it?

4. Living longer means more fun, impact, fulfillment…

Staying healthy is more likely to result in a longer, happier life. If you have kids, they’re often a strong motivator. Who doesn’t want to get to know the amazing grownups we’re helping to emerge? Then there are the sunsets to watch, changes to witness, projects to bring to fruition… not to mention gorgeous dinners, earth-shattering orgasms, fascinating conversations…

What do you want to experience more of in the years to come? How can your choices today contribute to even more of them?

5. Enjoy the benefits of good health

When we focus on things like ‘losing weight’ or ‘looking better’ we often miss out on the real tangible experience of good health. Things like feeling grace and ease when you do things; the sense of confidence and vitality that comes when you’re on top form, or knowing that you’re nourishing and taking care of yourself. These things have nothing to do with your physical ability, the numbers on a scale, or what you see on the outside.

What does true health and vitality mean for you? How does it feel, and what does it allow you to do?

Thriving women make powerful leaders

Supporting women to feel true vitality is an important part of how we equip female leaders to make a difference. If you’d like to have a chat to one of our team about the kind of support we offer, click here to arrange a time to talk.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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When you can’t express emotions easily

By

Joanna Martin
Joanna Martin
Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin
Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

If you’re someone everyone relies on, you probably know what it’s like to keep your emotions in check. Team blowing up and a big deadline to meet? Time to smooth things over and play the diplomat. Partner furious that you’re working through the weekend yet again? Swallow your frustration and reassure them you’re not going to make a habit of it. But when you can’t express emotions at all, it can start to have a real impact on your capabilities.

Today I want to explore why that might be – andshare some ideas of what you can do about it.

Holding back emotions is common, especially for women

We often have good reasons for developing a habit of keeping our true feelings back.

Unfortunately, research shows that women can be judged more harshly for expressing themselves emotionally than men. In one Harvard study, researchers found that

“Women’s expressions of anger – because they run counter to social expectations – can decrease rather than increase women’s status and perceived competence. Displays of anger from men are often viewed as a response to external circumstances, (i.e. they were provoked), while displays of anger by women are more likely to be seen as an internal trait (i.e. she is an angry person)…

In evaluating job candidates, study participants conferred higher status on angry men than on sad men; higher status on angry men than angry women; and higher status on sad women than angry women.” – Brescoll and Uhlmann, Can an Angry Woman Get Ahead?: Status Conferral, Gender, and Expression of Emotion in the Workplace, 2008

So anger in particular is an emotion we’re often taught or expected to repress.

But any emotion, when held back, can become something that blocks us from accessing all of our potential.

In the words of One of many head coach Annie Stoker,

“Emotions don’t cause us problems, but avoiding them does”

Annie talks about ‘emotional allergies’. These are the uncomfortable emotions we try to avoid at all costs, to the point where doing so actually begins to impact our lives.

If anger is that emotion for you, you might find yourself bending over backwards to please people – and even putting up with behaviour that’s unacceptable – in order to avoid an argument.

If you’re driven by avoiding feelings of shame, you might steer clear of any kind of vulnerability. But avoiding opening up to anyone cuts you off from deeper, and ultimately more fulfilling intimacy.

These emotional allergies can run many of our behaviours – and therefore results – without us knowing about them. They can also result in what feels like uncontrolled explosions, when tiny triggers release the full flood of dammed up emotion.

Perhaps you’ve held back your fury at the systemic issues you’re seeing at work, but find yourself blowing up at your kids when you get home.

It’s therefore important to know how to release your emotions when they arise to allow you to fully process your reactions to our daily life.

Making space to express your emotions is vital

But what happens when you can’t express your emotions, even when you’re consciously trying to let them out?

Perhaps you’re making a real effort to unlock some of the anger you’ve been bottling up, and yet trying to journal about it leaves a blank page.

In our Facebook community, this question’s arisen on more than one occasion. It’s common for so many of us, it seems – we’re the “safe pair of hands”, the person who’s relied on to keep it together and deliver. So stepping out of that mindset and really allowing ourselves to get to the root of our feelings is a challenge.

Within our community, there’s a wealth of wisdom and experiences when it comes to ways to tap into those feelings and release them in a way that’s effective.

Here are some suggestions for practical approaches to releasing emotions.

What to try when you can’t express emotions

It’s important to note that releasing pent up emotion can be a vulnerable process. Depending on your experience, you might have detached from certain feelings as a defence mechanism, and you may need professional support to reconnect to them in a safe way.

If you feel that you need some extra help, do ring the office and we can help signpost you to what might be appropriate.

But if you’re confident that letting go of a feeling you’ve been holding back is something you’re ready to do, these approaches from the community might be just what you need.

Lisa suggested that expressing emotions in stages can be helpful. So if you’re struggling to express anger, you could try connecting to “disappointment”, “irritation” or “frustration” in the first instance.

“I do a fair amount of emotional release and here’s what I find: Once you release the first layer, the unconscious mind feels safe to bring up the deeper (less conscious) stuff. So sometimes you need to do it in stages.

I also find that women tend to “code” anger as hurt and men tend to code hurt as anger. So if a woman tells me she was hurt, I suspect she was also angry. if a man tells me he was angry, I suspect he was also hurt. It’s just conditioning, and as all negative emotions are essentially the same thing (resistance to love) it makes absolutely ZERO difference what the label you put on it is.

My experience is that if you’re releasing negative emotions, you’re releasing them no matter what they’re called. ” – Lisa Turner, Psycademy

Ana Goncalves had some specific advice around expressing anger, involving getting back to your physical body.

“A tip for when you feel irritated is to punch some pillows, that helps with emotional release. Or you can find a quiet spot, or put some loud music on and scream.

Accessing your anger is actually one of the best ways to connect to your power, especially if you have repressed it. I was too scared to express it, but upon doing so (as it got to a point where I needed to express or I was going to go crazy) I felt in charge and in my power and much more true with my emotions.”

And Elizabeth Calderara, a One of many certified coach, uses the Zen Letters approach to help unlock emotions through writing.

“I find it helps if you follow no rules, no grammar, no punctuation. No constraints – even just writing one word about that person’s behaviour over and over again will often unblock the stream of anger and pain in words which will then become sentences. Talk whilst you are writing at the same time.

If your voice has been stifled this is a great way of getting that person hear your truth, and you too. For me, I explain the burning of the letter as a practical way of shedding the past. Everything that exists is energy. You don’t need to keep the energy of that feeling, that person, that experience with you in your home.” – Elizabeth Calderara

How about you?

Do you find expressing emotions challenging, and do you recognise any “emotional allergies” that have evolved in your life? Share in the comments below – it could make all the difference to another woman reading this to know she’s not alone.

And if you’d like some support around exploring what might be blocked for you, do consider working with a coach. You can search by region and area of expertise in the One of many coach directory by clicking here.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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What procrastination means

By

Joanna Martin
Joanna Martin
Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin
Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

We’ve all been there. There’s a massive deadline looming, or a really important task to do. And you’re on Facebook. Or tackling a bunch of waaay less important things. Rearranging your desk drawer… watching Netflix… we’ve all got our particular habits, but one thing is certain. You’re not doing the one thing you know you should be. Today I want to talk about the meaning behind that. Here’s what procrastination means – and what you can do when it strikes.

What procrastination means

Let’s first get one thing clear, because an awful lot of us have an inner voice that can be, shall we say, less than kind.

I’m willing to bet good money that you’re NOT procrastinating for any of the following reasons, which may or may not have popped into your head:

  • You’re lazy
  • You’re incompetent
  • You’re destined to fail

Written out like that they look pretty ridiculous, huh?

But so many of us actually use that kind of language to berate ourselves, when we find ourselves stuck in procrastination mode.

When the fact is, almost all of us procrastinate. We’re not robots, right? Some of the most capable, competent women I know put things off from time to time. I know I do. So let’s stop for a minute and think about procrastination from another vantage point.

What if procrastination is a sign?

Procrastination – putting things off – is almost always a sign that something needs attention. Think of it as the equivalent of an ache in your back or a twinge in your wrist. It’s discomfort, albeit of a mental kind, that’s trying to tell you something.

Here are 3 things it might be.

1. Procrastination might mean you’re tired

The #1 reason for procrastination is that you simply don’t have the energy for the task you’re attempting to do. You’re pushing through, maybe even getting into  Superwoman mode, and the result is that your brain’s shutdown.

There’s a reason that Soft Power Principle #1 is this: First, replenish your energy.

When your bum’s numb and your brain’s fried from sitting in front of a screen for six hours solid… and yet you’re still expecting yourself to pull a razor-sharp strategic report out of the bag? Honey, it ain’t gonna happen.

Do yourself a favour.

Have a big glass of water and get out in the fresh air for fifteen minutes – you’ll notice a world of difference when you come back.

Or perhaps you need a different energy boost.

  • A good night’s sleep – is there any way you can start the task you’re tackling again first thing in the morning?
  • Some decent food? (The nearest vending machine or your secret-from-the-kids snack drawer doesn’t count)
  • A blast of your favourite energy-pumping tunes – if you don’t have one, ask the BeOne community to tell you theirs!

But sometimes, replenishing takes more.

I don’t have to tell you that getting your mojo back isn’t always as simple as grabbing some rest or getting a snack.

And here’s where it’s so important to think about your procrastination not as a vice or a weakness, but as a signal that’s trying to tell you something.

If you’ve handled your immediate needs, but you’re still not in your flow, it’s time to dig a little deeper.

2. Procrastination might mean you’re overwhelmed

Sometimes, we procrastinate between tasks because there’s simply too much on our plate. Juggling is one thing, but if you’ve been overloaded for a long time, or you’re in a crisis state where there simply aren’t enough hours in the day, you can find yourself in overwhelm.

It might be that you’re swept up fighting fires while simultaneously fretting about all the really important stuff that’s being dropped.

The outcome is that you begin to lose executive function. It feels impossible to choose. The longer you flounder, the worse it all gets.

When it’s all urgent, nothing is, right? And so you flit from task to task or even find yourself lost in distractions, unable to focus on what matters.

Luckily, we have a tool for just that scenario.

It’s called the Overwhelm First Aid Kit and it does exactly what it says on the tin.

It’ll help you stop, slow down, and walk you step by step through the decisions you need to make to get back on top.

Click here to grab your copy now.

3. Procrastination might mean you’re afraid

This last one is a sneaky one, because when you have high standards you naturally care about doing a good job. But left unchecked, that desire to achieve competence can translate into an inability to make headway.

Simply put, you’re worried about getting it wrong, and that’s halting you from even taking the first step. A great exercise to beat that is what our Head Coach Annie Stoker calls “Future Pacing”.

What we mean is, imagine the worst case scenario for what you’re afraid of. If you’re stalling on starting to write your book because you’re not sure that it’s going to be great then imagine your published book in your hand, and you’re finding typos in it or changing your mind about some of the content.

Go through and imagine all the imperfect things that could actually happen and then ask yourself “Really, is that going to be enough to not do it?”

I think about that and I go “Okay, there’s a spelling mistake in there. Well, I’ll just make sure it’s changed for the next re-run.”

It might sound counter-intuitive, but getting OK with the worse that could happen can be a really comforting thing. After all, it’s rare that you’ll actually come to physical harm from the action you’re putting off.

Still procrastinating?

These 3 enquiries are great places to start when thinking about what procrastination means. But there are lots of other things you can do to tackle it, and ultimately prevent it from happening, in the long term.

We share a deeper perspective on procrastination as well as more ideas and tips on planning sustainably (so you don’t find yourself procrastinating to start with!) in Module 6 of BeFruitful.

It’s a 6-week online time and energy management training designed for women, to help you be more effective without burning out.

You can find out all about it here.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community.

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How the Women’s PowerTypes can be useful in daily life

By

Joanna Martin
Joanna Martin
Founder at One of many
Founder: One of many. Author. Ex-doctor. Entrepreneur. Sister. Sometime Actor. Baby Wrangler. Personal Chef. Mother.
Joanna Martin
Latest posts by Joanna Martin (see all)

The Women’s PowerTypes™ are 5 archetypes that guide us to access our power as female leaders. You might have read inspiring stories of women like Carol, who used them to manage an international NATO workshop. Or seen other women in our community sharing big projects and impressive wins. But what about the day to day stresses and struggles? Today we’re celebrating how the Women’s PowerTypes can be useful in daily life. Because sometimes, it’s handling the smallest tasks that can allow you to shine when it comes to the big stuff.

Leadership comes in all forms. At One of many our mission is to empower one million grassroots women leaders. In other words, you don’t have to be a corporate executive, a politician, or a business owner to be able to step up and have an impact, without burning out.

Perhaps you’re a leader in your family, community, or within a team of equally dedicated, sometimes-a-bit-frazzled women.

Grassroots leaders are powerful change agents

That kind of leadership still means you can make a difference.

It still means having great leadership skills up your sleeve can have an impact on what you’re able to achieve.

And sometimes, quite frankly, the biggest leadership battle we all face is with ourselves. Staying motivated; adapting and going with the flow whatever it is we’re doing; and allowing ourselves to have a bit of fun while we do it. 

So today I want to share a fun example of how the Women’s PowerTypes can help you be happier, more effective and more fulfilled at every end of the spectrum.

From world changing events to the most mundane of tasks – knowing that you have these different ways of being at your fingertips can transform every day of your life.

How the Women’s PowerTypes can be useful in daily life

A while back Sara popped into the Facebook group to celebrate the way the PowerTypes supported her during a mammoth day of cleaning and decluttering at home.

Sounds like it could be a recipe for boredom and exhaustion, right?

Well, here’s how the PowerTypes helped her out:

Sara wrote:

“Changing seasons always gives me a spurt of ‘tidying’ energy. So as we head into autumn, I’m having a cleaning and clearing kind of day in full blown Mother PowerType.

Clearing out handbags of all the ticket stubs, old pens and half empty packets of painkillers that collect in the bottoms. Clearing kitchen cupboards of food past its use by date and emptying my wardrobe of clothes and shoes that I’ll never wear again. Emptying the last of the boxes from my storage unit. Tidying and sorting the ‘odds and sods’ drawers.

Marigolds and bin bags and polish. Oh my!”

The Mother

The Mother, as you might imagine, has a powerful nurturing quality. When we connect to our Mother PowerType we’re not thinking of our own children (you might not have them – you can still access Mother).

What we’re connecting to are those wonderfully accepting, nurturing qualities that typify a truly caring, warm and devoted Mother.

And Mother cares deeply about the wellbeing of those in her care. So it’s natural that Sara’s urge to clear and sort might come from that place of deep nurture – for herself, for her home, and for the possessions and objects that fill it.

In the workplace, Mother energy supports those around you to feel safe and secure. She’s a wonderful PowerType to help bring out the unique contributions of everyone and to make sure they feel able to express themselves.

But Mother alone, when over-expressed, can sometimes become less than helpful.

At worst she can tip into “Martyr” – sacrificing herself for the needs of others.

So Sara wisely decided to introduce the beautiful balancing energy of The Warrioress.

The Warrioress

“Still in my PJs – Warrioress and I decided that was much more fun than getting dressed. She’s also selected the accompanying music. Everything is easier with the One of many dynamic dance playlist blaring out!”

Warrioress is the perfect PowerType for tackling a big physical job like cleaning. High-energy and focused, she brings enthusiasm, bags of energy and the will to make even the seemingly impossible happen. She also knows how to have a good time while she does it!

If you’ve got kids, Warrioress is often the part of you who thrives on rough and tumble play – getting a bit silly and letting your hair down. (She can be a lot of fun in the bedroom, too… ;-))

Blasting through house cleaning with music sounds like a lot of fun. And it’s pretty much an open secret that getting rid of things you don’t need and creating a bit more space for living can have a pretty great impact on our mental and emotional state too.

(Does you also like to have a really good clear out when you’re stuck on a project or needing to shift some “mental furniture?”)

So I love that Sara also allowed herself to use Sorceress in her day.

The Sorceress

Sorceress is the PowerType we use to connect to our intuition. The Universe, God, Goddess, Allah, Source… whatever your name is for the “bigger picture” beyond our thinking comprehension, she is it.

In leadership terms, cultivating your connection to Sorceress can allow you to access that hard-to-define quality that helps you navigate the toughest challenges. She can fuel your inner calm and certainty when things get rocky or find inexplicable ways to solve what seem like insurmountable challenges.

Even just 5 minutes in a hectic day can help connect you to Sorceress and open up space for some of the unplannable to come in. So Sara decided to consciously make some space later in the day to access that PowerType and see what might come up.

“Sorceress feels more able to manifest and is planning a smudging and blessing ritual for later.”

And as my house is getting tidier and the energy is getting clearer – I am getting muckier so Lover is looking forward to a long soak in the bath when I’m done.”

The Lover

The Lover, it probably goes without saying, is the part of you that enjoys sensual, beautiful experiences. When it comes to making your space great, connecting and delighting in good company, she’s a great one to invite in.

She’s definitely one to access at bathtime – where she’ll encourage you to go all out with candles and the posh bubble bath you’ve been “saving”.

She also plays an important role in preventing you from overwhelm and burnout. Many of us struggle to prioritise self-care and rest, so having access to The Lover ensures you don’t skip the vital work of taking care of yourself. And actually enjoying all of your achievements, along with those you care most about.

The Queen

The last of the 5 PowerTypes is The Queen. For many women, she’s one of the most compelling PowerTypes because of the ability she has to wield power, make decisions and set boundaries – without losing any of her grace or femininity. For Sara, Queen is

“Holding the vision of what my home could and should be. A place of welcome, comfort and sanctuary for me and for those within my realm that I choose to invite into this space.”

The Women’s PowerTypes help you lead powerfully in any situation

Needless to say, the PowerTypes can be used to achieve an awful lot more than cleaning your house. Sara’s a One of many Certified Trainer, a Mastercoach and mentor with over 25 years of experience in campaigning and communications. She co-founded Pagefield, the leading independent communications agency and is founder of Actually, empowering changemakers to use the power of great communications and campaigns to inspire action.

But having a big impact starts when you get really fluent in making the everyday shifts in your state. To keep you focused, flexible and supremely well resourced when it comes to the task at hand.

Want to get to know the PowerTypes better?

Whether you’re ready to change the world or would just love to be able to sail through day to day tasks without losing your marbles, we’ve got all the tools you need.

BePowerful is our 12 week online training that allows you to get in touch with each of the PowerTypes and apply them in your life. Using a blend of audios and meditations, video lessons and downloadable worksheets – as well as our incredibly supportive private Facebook Group – you’ll discover how the PowerTypes can help you have a bigger impact in your world.

Find out all the details here.

Our intention is simple. To support professional women to handle the day-to-day so they can unleash the bigger impact they feel called to make in the world.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

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