Is your relationship draining you? Today I want to explain the importance of energy in relationships – and give you some simple ways you can revitalize a relationship where things are starting to feel draining, frustrating or stale. First, let me explain what I mean by the “energy” of a relationship.
Inside every human being is a life source from which comes life-force in the form of an energy. This is the energy that grows your hair, that heals your body, that sends the blood coursing through your veins. It is the pulsation you feel when you are resting quietly, like a stream of electricity tingling through your body, without you having to do anything to make it happen. It is this energy which when it is harmony with another person can rocket you to the stars, or when at odds with them, will sink you like a stone.
We are like radio transmitters with our energy – we affect everything around us with our thoughts, feelings and actions and it emanates from us like radio signals to be picked up by those on a similar wave-length to us. People who are particularly sensitive can even see our energy around our heads and body in our aura, sometimes in colour but certainly as a fuzzy pattern around the body.
It is this energy that we pick up on when we meet someone and when we are in connection with them, in our communications and in our interaction with them.
Is your relationship draining you?
So does your relationship rocket you to the stars, enabling you to express who you truly are with joy and inspiration? Or is your relationship draining you?
- Does it make you feel good about yourself, good about the future and positive about life?
- Does it bring out the best in you?
- Do you feel healthier and rejuvenated, whole and nourished, loved and loving towards your partner?
- Do you feel connected and at one with your partner?
This is how a good relationship will make you feel.
If that sounds idealistic, it is because it is rather rare in this throwaway society, because love is in your actions and in the way you speak, move and touch those you love and care about – just in the way you turn up.
Does that mean you will never have moments of feeling that you don’t like your partner or that they irritate you or that you want to get away? No, it just means that like the foundations of a house, it is deep and broad and will withstand the storms and raging that go in life. Love is a gifting and a receiving – it is a generosity of spirit and when you have the desire to sustain and nurture it, like a beautiful plant it can bloom to reveal something truly inspirational.
What you bring to the relationship makes a tremendous difference.
If you are bringing positivity, a healthy way of thinking, an enjoyment of life no matter what it throws at you, and a willingness to be flexible and generous, the energy will be high.
If on the other hand you are bringing old negative memories, hurt, resentment, guilt and shame, you will lower the energy dramatically.
So what are you bringing with you? What are you transmitting? What are you receiving?
How do we create energy?
Much of it is by our thought patterns which influence the way our energy flows. Our temperament allows flow or blocks it. What we put into our body, our food, drink, chemicals, exposure to technology, the way we move and our environment have strong influences on our energy. But what drains our energy mostly is anger, depression, misery and negative thoughts, particularly blame, resentment and shame – these are the most damaging both health-wise and for any relationship.
Here are some ways to help the energy of your relationship thrive.
10 simple energy boosters to revitalise your relationships
- Let go of stress by doing things you love to do. Learn to relax!
- Take full responsibility for your emotional state and become more conscious of your moods; move your body and change your energy; empower yourself with new positive beliefs.
- Be in allowance of who you are and stop trying to be perfect.
- Enjoy yourself. Laugh.
- Plan time out for fun, rest time and holidays; for romance and meaningful conversation.
- Touch, cuddle, make time for romance and make love.
- Think about how you’re nourishing yourself. Drink plenty of water; eat low GI (slow sugar release foods), avoid processed meals and refined foods;
- Commit to paying it forward and contributing to others.
- Give yourself the gift of regular pampering such as massage, reflexology; regular daily deep breathing; exercise which you enjoy, with proper recovery/stretching; or daily walks outside in sunlight.
- Meet up regularly with positive like-minded people.
You might notice that none of these requires any shift in your partner! Revitalising your energy isn’t about trying to shape, change or confront anyone else. To become aware of and harness this energy and ultimately gain access to its source is to cease mental effort – tune into your energy and find out what it wants of you. It is the still, small voice within that often gets drowned by our self-talk.
We need to learn to relax and listen, mentally as well as physically. It’s not easy in our often hectic life, but it is possible particularly as you just wake up in the morning and as going to sleep at night.
What if you had all that kind of wonderful energy continually running through your body? The magic of it is that when you feel it flowing, it will direct you. You can put hopes and dreams onto the energy and watch them materialise. Go with the flow trusting that Life is indeed looking after you.
Fashion Designer | Grandmother | Dancer
One of many master coach and trainer Susie Heath is an expert in love and intimacy and an internationally acclaimed author and speaker. She has been a buyer for Marks and Spencer, a shoe designer, a horticulturist featured at the Chelsea Flower Show and more.
Now, as a coach and trainer she has has worked personally with hundreds of men and women, helping them reawaken their authentic selves with her profound coaching and movement workshops.