One of Many

Woman looking to create change

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Guest blog: Just use the lotion! (How to put yourself first)

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Helen Reynolds
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Helen Reynolds
Image Consultant | Professional Shopper | Blogger | Mum of two boys | Sock Washer |Confidence Booster
Helen Reynolds
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Latest posts by Helen Reynolds (see all)

If you’re familiar with the 5 Women’s PowerTypes, the 5 archetypes of powerful feminine leadership, you might be one of many women who could do with boosting her Lover PowerType. Lover is the leadership archetype who delights in beauty and pleasure, and knows putting herself first is one of the most important ways she can grow her impact.

The biggest excuse I hear from women who want to increase their access to their Lover PowerType is this…

“I don’t have time to think about myself.”

Are you spending every waking hour making sure everyone else is OK to the detriment of yourself?

How long does it really take to smother your gorgeous body with that delicious body cream you got for Christmas? You know, the one you’ve been saving for a special occasion (when in reality it’ll remain on the bathroom shelf, gathering dust for years and then when you finally open it, it’ll smell a bit fusty..).

I timed myself this morning. It took me less than 20 seconds. I even found time to massage the cream into the soles of my feet.

Message: Use the lotion!

I want you to know that looking after your appearance isn’t frivolous or selfish or a waste of time.

It’s a way to respect yourself and your beautiful body. Remember that when you feel good, you have more to give. So today, let’s talk about how to put yourself first.

What makes you feel good?

Maybe using the lotion doesn’t feel like your way of feeling good, but I wonder what is?

Here are some alternative ideas for you to pick from (but please don’t pick one, pick as many as you can. I dare you!).

1. Choose your underwear deliberately.

Wear your nice knickers (even if nobody else will ever know).

2. Mix it up!

When you pick out your clothes for the day, make yourself choose something you haven’t worn for a while. Something else that you save for best perhaps.

3. Adorn yourself

Choose a piece of jewellery or a scarf from your extensive but neglected collection. Even wearing a ring that catches your eye throughout the day can feel good.

4. Use your lipstick

If a thick layer of bold lipstick feels too conspicuous for you, pop it on then blot it off to almost nothing. This creates a lip stain that can stay around for a surprisingly long time. Some women find a bit of colour on their lips works wonders (I have proof, I’m one of them). Give it a go and notice what a difference it makes to you. Does it make your eyes shine more brightly?

5. Wear your perfume

If you have a few bottles lurking around, decide how you’d like to feel today and choose the one that most reflects that.

6. Get painting

Find 20 minutes today or this week to do a mini-mani, heck do a pedi too whilst you are at it. Whether you’re a clear varnish person or a glorious, sexy red, you’ll notice your nails throughout the day, giving you a constant reminder that you looked after yourself – just for a minute.

7. Add an afternoon boost

Some women can get ready in the morning and still look pretty presentable by dinner. Most of us can’t! After your lunch, spend 5 minutes refreshing yourself. Brush your hair, wipe the smudged eye make-up away. Top up the lippy and spritz yourself with your perfume.

Why does this matter?

I’ve long been fascinated with the connection between how we feel and how we behave – which also has an impact on how we are seen but that’s another story…

This past 12 months, many of us have ditched taking care of ourselves as ‘unnecessary’. If no one else is going to see us, why bother?

But think about this. When you’ve had your hair done and your hairdresser has done a particularly good job, how do you feel? When you step outside the salon, how do you walk down the street?

Quietly and slowly with your head down?

Or head held high, longer strides and ready to break into a smile at the first cheery face your eyes meet?

I call this feeling ‘bouncy’. If you haven’t felt bouncy for a while, you really need to start giving your appearance some TLC. Not because you HAVE to look a certain way, but because when you feel good, you bounce. And when you feel bouncy, you are more likely to find the joy in life.

Dress for you and everyone else benefits too

My passion is supporting women to dress in a way that makes them look and feel like the very best version of themselves. This doesn’t mean always being dolled up to the nines, being suited and booted or wearing spanx every day.

I dress a woman for who she is inside and how she wants to be seen. I’ve been through this transformation myself and know that feeling good in your clothes isn’t actually about the clothes.

Of course, I know how to dress a woman in outfits that fit and flatter and are true to their style, but the reason I love this work SO much is because of the unexpected outcome of great style. When my clients undergo their personal style transformation, they feel more confident, they make better and closer connections with their friends, family and colleagues or clients and they want to be more visible. Whether in life or business, they seize opportunities, get out there and lead a bigger more fulfilling life.

How will you put yourself first?

So please use the lotion – or some of my other tips, and notice how it makes you feel. Leave a comment here on the blog and let’s share the joy of helping yourself to feel good (and bouncy!).

About Helen

Helen Reynolds: How to build inner confidenceHelen is a stand for feeling fabulous instead of looking fashionable – because when you feel good, you look good. For female business leaders who dare to express who they really are – and need their wardrobes to catch up and support them in shining bright.

Find out how to up-level your personal style with Helen’s free video series ‘5 style tips to look your most fabulous self.’

www.helenreynoldsstyle.com/tips

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3 Tips for Dressing the Best Version of You

By

Helen Reynolds
Follow Helen
Helen Reynolds
Image Consultant | Professional Shopper | Blogger | Mum of two boys | Sock Washer |Confidence Booster
Helen Reynolds
Follow Helen
Latest posts by Helen Reynolds (see all)

Something I started to notice in my twenties (way before I trained to become an image consultant), is how my behaviour changes according to how I feel I look on any given day.

Back then I worked in glossy magazines where the workforce was impossibly glamorous and fashionable. I’d just graduated from Uni and had spent three years in jeans and t-shirts. I very quickly realised that a pair of black trousers and a blouse combination wasn’t going to cut it.

I spent more and more time looking at clothes, buying ‘trendier’ pieces and shopping for more expensive labels in my attempt to look the part.

Sometimes I got it just right and on those days I would bounce along the road to the tube with my head held high. I would speak out in meetings and people would listen. Often my ideas were the ones to be implemented. That felt great.

On other days, I would put on another new and gorgeous outfit and look in the mirror and just know that it didn’t work for me. I didn’t know why, but my conclusion was that* I* wasn’t good enough (read thin enough, cool enough, pretty enough…) to wear such a fabulous outfit.

On those days I would lose the spring in my step, I would stay quiet in meetings and be largely ignored. On those days I felt invisible and my confidence was low.

I now know why those clothes were never going to suit me. Getting to grips with my authentic style has helped me to appreciate the hugely powerful effect of feeling good about the way you look.

This is my philosophy.

The way you look affects the way you feel.

The way you feel affects the way you behave.

The way you behave *affects the way people *react to you.

The way people react to you in the first instance is influenced by the way you look – sad but true.

One of the things I love about being an image consultant is when other women start to understand and implement this philosophy too. Putting consideration into what you wear is not a frivolous or ‘fluffy’ undertaking; by accurately portraying the ‘inside you’ on the outside, you tend to get the results you want. This is what was happening to me in my magazine job when my ideas were accepted.

This concept compliments the One of Many Soft Power ethos: we are soft and strong; we indulge ourselves and celebrate our gorgeous femininity; we are nurturing and we set boundaries.

Since I discovered this wonderful community, I’m more conscious of the ways in which I can nurture and support the women I work with. I do this by giving my clients the space to appreciate their bodies and learn how to recognise and draw out their individual style.

So, whether you’re looking for quick and easy ideas of how to look great on the stage; some new pieces to update your wardrobe; or a makeover after becoming a mum, my top tip is to discover the outfits that make you feel like the very best version of you. Then you can feel great wherever you are going and whatever you are doing.

3 tips for dressing the best version of you.

  1. Notice when you feel good in an outfit and check out the component parts carefully in a full length mirror. Can you tell which element or elements of the outfit are making the biggest difference? Is it the cut of the clothes, the fabric, the colour, the jewellery? The more you are able to tune into what’s making the difference, the easier it is for you to replicate and embrace it.
  2. Have a good sort out of your wardrobe. See what’s lurking inside that you forgot you had. Try new and different combinations of clothes and notice how they make you feel. To help you with this feel free to download my Ultimate Wardrobe Cheat Sheet which guides you through exactly what your wardrobe should contain to guarantee stress-free mornings and easy dressing.
  3. Come along to ‘Get Your Style Sorted’ on Saturday 21st May at London’s Waldorf Hotel, where I’ll be sharing exactly how you can discover your unique style, how to flatter your particular body shape and showing you how to have fun with accessories to finish off your outfits in the most gorgeous way for you. Because we are all beautifully different. And that’s ok! What works for your friend will not necessarily work for you. When you know exactly what your style is, life becomes easier, your confidence soars and, you find it easier to step into your femininity and be authentically you.