If you’re familiar with the 5 Women’s PowerTypes, the 5 archetypes of powerful feminine leadership, you might be one of many women who could do with boosting her Lover PowerType. Lover is the leadership archetype who delights in beauty and pleasure, and knows putting herself first is one of the most important ways she can grow her impact.
The biggest excuse I hear from women who want to increase their access to their Lover PowerType is this…
“I don’t have time to think about myself.”
Are you spending every waking hour making sure everyone else is OK to the detriment of yourself?
How long does it really take to smother your gorgeous body with that delicious body cream you got for Christmas? You know, the one you’ve been saving for a special occasion (when in reality it’ll remain on the bathroom shelf, gathering dust for years and then when you finally open it, it’ll smell a bit fusty..).
I timed myself this morning. It took me less than 20 seconds. I even found time to massage the cream into the soles of my feet.
Message: Use the lotion!
I want you to know that looking after your appearance isn’t frivolous or selfish or a waste of time.
It’s a way to respect yourself and your beautiful body. Remember that when you feel good, you have more to give. So today, let’s talk about how to put yourself first.
What makes you feel good?
Maybe using the lotion doesn’t feel like your way of feeling good, but I wonder what is?
Here are some alternative ideas for you to pick from (but please don’t pick one, pick as many as you can. I dare you!).
1. Choose your underwear deliberately.
Wear your nice knickers (even if nobody else will ever know).
2. Mix it up!
When you pick out your clothes for the day, make yourself choose something you haven’t worn for a while. Something else that you save for best perhaps.
3. Adorn yourself
Choose a piece of jewellery or a scarf from your extensive but neglected collection. Even wearing a ring that catches your eye throughout the day can feel good.
4. Use your lipstick
If a thick layer of bold lipstick feels too conspicuous for you, pop it on then blot it off to almost nothing. This creates a lip stain that can stay around for a surprisingly long time. Some women find a bit of colour on their lips works wonders (I have proof, I’m one of them). Give it a go and notice what a difference it makes to you. Does it make your eyes shine more brightly?
5. Wear your perfume
If you have a few bottles lurking around, decide how you’d like to feel today and choose the one that most reflects that.
6. Get painting
Find 20 minutes today or this week to do a mini-mani, heck do a pedi too whilst you are at it. Whether you’re a clear varnish person or a glorious, sexy red, you’ll notice your nails throughout the day, giving you a constant reminder that you looked after yourself – just for a minute.
7. Add an afternoon boost
Some women can get ready in the morning and still look pretty presentable by dinner. Most of us can’t! After your lunch, spend 5 minutes refreshing yourself. Brush your hair, wipe the smudged eye make-up away. Top up the lippy and spritz yourself with your perfume.
Why does this matter?
I’ve long been fascinated with the connection between how we feel and how we behave – which also has an impact on how we are seen but that’s another story…
This past 12 months, many of us have ditched taking care of ourselves as ‘unnecessary’. If no one else is going to see us, why bother?
But think about this. When you’ve had your hair done and your hairdresser has done a particularly good job, how do you feel? When you step outside the salon, how do you walk down the street?
Quietly and slowly with your head down?
Or head held high, longer strides and ready to break into a smile at the first cheery face your eyes meet?
I call this feeling ‘bouncy’. If you haven’t felt bouncy for a while, you really need to start giving your appearance some TLC. Not because you HAVE to look a certain way, but because when you feel good, you bounce. And when you feel bouncy, you are more likely to find the joy in life.
Dress for you and everyone else benefits too
My passion is supporting women to dress in a way that makes them look and feel like the very best version of themselves. This doesn’t mean always being dolled up to the nines, being suited and booted or wearing spanx every day.
I dress a woman for who she is inside and how she wants to be seen. I’ve been through this transformation myself and know that feeling good in your clothes isn’t actually about the clothes.
Of course, I know how to dress a woman in outfits that fit and flatter and are true to their style, but the reason I love this work SO much is because of the unexpected outcome of great style. When my clients undergo their personal style transformation, they feel more confident, they make better and closer connections with their friends, family and colleagues or clients and they want to be more visible. Whether in life or business, they seize opportunities, get out there and lead a bigger more fulfilling life.
How will you put yourself first?
So please use the lotion – or some of my other tips, and notice how it makes you feel. Leave a comment here on the blog and let’s share the joy of helping yourself to feel good (and bouncy!).
Helen is a stand for feeling fabulous instead of looking fashionable – because when you feel good, you look good. For female business leaders who dare to express who they really are – and need their wardrobes to catch up and support them in shining bright.
Find out how to up-level your personal style with Helen’s free video series ‘5 style tips to look your most fabulous self.’
You might also like to read...
- Guest blog: Just use the lotion! (How to put yourself first) - April 1, 2021
- Guest Post: What to wear to a 2-day event - February 27, 2019
- Guest blog: How to build inner confidence - April 25, 2018