Who’s actually running your schedule?
That might seem like an odd question – well, it’s you of course.
But which you? After all, we all have many versions of ourselves.
(You wanting to crawl back under the covers at dawn on a grey February morning probably makes very different decisions to well-rested, post-coffee you at the end of the holidays, feeling fired up with motivation as she blocks out her new gym schedule…)
For many of us, I’d hazard a guess that there’s one version of ourselves whose ambitious fingers often tend to rule our diaries.
It’s Superwoman. We know her round here as the “archetype of our times”. Because so many of us embody her ruthless drive to achieve, please, and put our own wellbeing last.
If you’re an intelligent, busy woman who cares about the world, chances are she’s had a hand on your schedule recently.
How to tell if Superwoman is running your diary
So who’s in charge of how you spend your days?
Here are 9 telltale signs that superwoman’s in charge.
- You regularly end your week feeling simultaneously exhausted – AND like you’ve hardly achieved anything.
- There’s a complete lack of time just for you on your calendar – and it’s the first thing to get crossed off when someone needs something from you.
- Free space is there to be filled. Empty weekend? Time for lunch with the in-laws, activities for the kids, or a deep clean of the home office. Don’t waste it!
- Looking at the day ahead often fills you with a mild sense of panic – and the realization you’ll be eating lunch at your desk (again).
- When you don’t have an appointment, work commitment or meeting you’re still always busy – catching up on emails, sorting out the housework, writing more to-do lists…
- If a friend calls unexpectedly for a chat your heart sinks. You don’t have bandwidth for anything else in your day. But perhaps you can clear the kitchen or delete unread emails while half-listening?
- You’ve secretly fantasized about a minor accident or non-serious illness that would force you to cancel everything and rest for a week. Just so you could get back on track.
- When your friend, colleagues or partner catches a glimpse of your diary they look horrified – and while you tell them it’s a nightmare, a part of you feels secretly proud at how much you pack in…
Any of these sound familiar? Don’t worry – I’ve got you!
What to do if Superwoman is running your diary
The trouble with Superwoman is that deep down, we know that living our lives from this place is just not sustainable over the long term.
Superwoman wants to be 100% to everyone, all the time. She’s the adrenaline-fuelled over achiever that many of us are culturally conditioned to become – the perfect leader, the perfect colleagues, the perfect friend, the perfect partner, the perfect mum…
… and she tends to lead us, whether quickly or over years, to one place.
Plus – living our lives from this place of frantic over achievement, basing our success on other peoples’ priorities? It’s not actually the most effective way to achieve what we want to.
Here’s how to do things differently.
A great place to start is by looking at your schedule from each of the Women’s PowerTypes in turn. These 5 archetypes give us new models for feminine leadership – that, although they might seem counterintuitive at first, allow us to create results with far more ease, grace and flow.
(If you’re a member of Living the Change then Module 4 is packed with resources to help you tap into different PowerTypes. You’ll also find tools to help you set boundaries and distinguish between your priorities and those of other people’s.)
Planning your diary using the 5 Women’s PowerTypes
Queen starts by asking what the most important priorities are for her realm. What really matters most to you? What legacy do you want to leave? With a clear vision, she starts to create it by inspiring and engaging those around her.
A queen keeps her eye on her vision and wouldn’t dream of doing it all herself. She’d be sure her own needs were exquisitely taken care of to protect her energy for those critical decisions.
Mother is motivated by her warm, caring desire to make sure you and those around you are happy, loved and well taken care of.
Have you left enough time for you to get a good night’s sleep, recover after a busy week, and tend to your wellbeing with regular health checkups, fresh air and rest?
Mother reminds you that the best way for you to be there for others is to be energised and well yourself. “Put on your own oxygen mask first” as the saying goes.
Lover takes one look at your schedule of meetings and must-dos and laughs. She draws a scarlet fountain pen across anything draining, dutiful or dull and asks you where the pleasure is? Where is the time to connect to your partner, to enjoy a massage or inhale the scent of spring blossom? Have you blocked out snuggly evenings under soft blankets, for sea air and stunning ar?
Are you remembering to stop and ENJOY this precious life?
Warrioress asks you not to strip too much out – because, after all, making progress and performing exceptionally well comes naturally to you. When you’re energised, supported and inspired she knows you can get so much more done than worn-out Superwoman could ever imagine.
She reminds you to create space for what energises you – whether it’s going to the gym, dancing in your kitchen, or rough and tumble with your kids.
Sorceress asks you to make space for the sacred, the mysterious and the vast universe. She reminds you that time to be still, time to pray and time to connect with whatever is sacred to you is a non-negotiable part of being human.
Whether it’s church, temple, mosque or forest; volunteering or scaling mountains; a simple altar in your home, a garden that nourishes your family or music to stir your soul… these are the moments that make life worthwhile – and where unexpected grace and inspiration are found.
Have you used the PowerTypes to help you plan your time? I’d love to know! Leave us a comment or pop into the BeOne Community and let us know.
Want some more support?
When it comes to supporting you to plan your work and life differently, we have heaps of resources to help you. For a deep-dive into planning and managing your day to day tasks, check out our free training From Frantic to Fruitful. It’s a practical training to help you rethink how you manage your time and energy – click here for instant access.
And if you’d love to access affordable, ongoing support from our coaches as well as access to all our tools and techniques including the Women’s PowerTypes, join Living the Change. We open doors a couple of times a year to our online coaching programme – find out full details and get your place here.
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