If you’ve been plagued by thoughts that it’s time for something to change, this is for you.
Maybe it’s your career. Maybe it’s your relationship. Maybe it’s the business you started that now feels like a weight around your neck. Maybe it’s something you can’t quite name, just a persistent feeling that the life you’ve built doesn’t fit the woman you’re becoming.
I have seen this pattern. Over 20 years of working with women, I have seen it again and again, and the interesting thing about it is the way it shows up differently in every single one of us.
The questions we start to ask ourselves sound like this.
Should I leave my job and get a new one?( But everything’s so uncertain right now. What if I couldn’t get another one?)
Should I go out and start my own thing? (But I’m terrified. What if it didn’t work?)
Should I give up on this fledgling business, the one where I feel like I’ve bitten off more than I can chew? (But would that be giving up on my dreams?)
Should I leave my marriage of 15 years? (But what about the kids?)
I’ve spoken to a lot of women who ask themselves a version of that question almost daily. And it’s usually the same one, over and over… irritatingly on repeat in our minds when we wish we could focus on other things. Which tells me one thing very clearly.
It’s time for something to change.
The problem is, we rarely go about it well.
We blame the lowest hanging fruit
Here’s the first pattern I see.
When life feels out of control, we point at the thing that feels most controllable. And that thing is different for all of us. It’s different at different stages of our lives. But the mechanism is the same.
If we’re frustrated in our career, we blame our partner.
If we’re frustrated with our lack of accountability for our own health, we blame our job.
If we’re frustrated in our relationship, we blame the fact that we’re not looking after ourselves.
We reach for whichever lever feels closest to hand. Whichever one feels like it might actually move if we pushed it. Because some things feel easier to move than others.
If life feels out of control and you feel stuck, I can almost guarantee that you are currently blaming something that is only partly responsible for the way you feel. Possibly not responsible at all. Just the most likely to be within your control to change.
We go straight for the grenade
Here’s the second pattern. And this one matters even more.
Once we’ve picked our target, we only ever ask ourselves the grenade question.
Should I leave? Should I quit? Should I chuck it all in?
“I can’t do this anymore” becomes a mantra we say to ourselves 133,000 times a day. And then, when we finally let ourselves sit down and think about it properly, we skip every question in between and go straight for the explosion.
What we don’t do is stop and ask:
- What is actually going on for me internally right now?
- Am I rested enough to make a decision like this?
- Am I clear enough to make a decision like this?
- Am I connected enough to my own truth to make a decision like this?
- What is getting in the way of me being able to think clearly and feel what my body is actually asking for?
- What are the values that are guiding this decision?
There is a lot of work that needs to happen before you make a big decision of this shape. And I want you to know… I’m not saying that because I’m afraid of big decisions.
I’ve made a tonne of big changes in my life
I trained as a medical doctor and left after two years. I went to drama school and left again to find coaching, which is the industry I’ve stayed in ever since. But even there, I had a very successful business coaching speakers for a long time before I realised I was being called into something else. That something else became One of Many, and I am deeply grateful for it.
But it was terrifying. Going from something that was a sure bet, making good money, into something nebulous and unproven. That was one of the hardest moves I’ve ever made.
So I know the courageous move. I’ve left decades of investment more than once to walk towards something truer.
But here’s what I’ve also learned.
There is a difference between making a bold move at 25 and making one in midlife.
When you’re 25 and you blow something up, the fallout is mostly your own. You get to try again. You’ve got time, energy, and very few people depending on you.
When you’re in your late 30s, 40s, 50s, it’s different. People are relying on you. There are things at risk. The stakes are real, and the cost of getting it wrong is higher. So the method has to be different too.
We’re no longer just trying things out. These have to be conscious choices, made in response to what your intuition is genuinely calling you into. Not what your exhaustion is screaming for.
You cannot make this decision from where you are right now
This is the piece I most want you to hear.
Most women I speak to cannot make a decision of this magnitude from the state they are in when they come to me. If you try to answer the question “should I leave?” from a place of exhaustion, fear, and disconnection from yourself, something very predictable happens.
Part of your system says: yes, please, because this is killing me.
And the other part of your system says: no, we can’t, because… look at all the risk!
So you either stay stuck forever, because the fear wins. Or you blow it up prematurely, because the exhaustion wins.
Neither of those is the right answer. And both are coming from the same place.
A nervous system that hasn’t been allowed to settle in years.
The internal work has to come first
What needs to happen first is internal work. And I’m not talking about five more years of therapy, or another journal you’ll start and abandon.
I’m talking about the specific work of getting free from the fears, the inherited constraints, the low-grade worry that’s been running the show. Getting yourself into community, where you don’t have to hold anything together for anyone. Getting yourself back to okay on the inside, if only for a short period of time, so that your intuition can actually speak to you.
Because when your intuition can speak, you can balance it against the logic. And when you can do that, you can make a decision that is actually yours.
Most women have it backwards
Here’s what this means in practice.
Most women think: I’ll figure out the decision, and then I’ll feel better.
Actually, it’s the other way round.
You get yourself back to okay. And then the decision becomes clear.
And here’s the part nobody tells you. Sometimes the decision that emerges is huge. Sometimes your life does end up looking very different on the other side of this process. But sometimes, and this happens more often than you’d think, the decision is not to blow anything up at all. Sometimes the clarity that arrives is the clarity of deep alignment with the life you already have, just with a few essential adjustments.
The point is, you can’t see the truth of it from where you’re currently standing. Not with this much noise. Not with this much tiredness. Not surrounded by the same mirrors that have been reflecting back the same version of you for years.
You need different mirrors.
A room where you don’t have to hold it together
The internal work I’m describing is nearly impossible to do alone. That’s not a failure of discipline or self-awareness. It’s just the truth of how we come to know ourselves. We do it in relation to other people. We come home to ourselves in rooms where we’re allowed to be fully who we are.
That’s what the One Woman Conference is for.
Two days in a room with hundreds of women who are carrying what you’ve been carrying, asking the questions you’ve been asking, aching for the things you’ve been aching for. A room where no one needs you to be the strong one. A room where you can put some of it down, just long enough to hear yourself think again.
If you are standing at a crossroads right now, if you’ve got a big choice in front of you and you don’t know how to make it, I want you to come.
Not to make the decision in the room. Although that may happen. But to get yourself back to the state from which a good decision becomes possible.
One Woman Conference 13 to 14 June 2026 Hilton Bankside, London
