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How to make a good decision when you're too tired to choose
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How to make a good decision when you’re too tired to choose

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Often, one of the first signs we’re approaching exhaustion is that our “executive function” takes a hit. When you’re too tired to choose, even the smallest decisions feel like a lot. Let alone the big, life-altering ones.  You might find yourself flummoxed by what to have for breakfast. Or hitting a wall when it comes to making a decision over a new hire at work, or the right approach to solve a challenge.

Lately we’ve been opening up about how exhausted we are. What a relief to share honestly how we’re getting on! Whether it’s our coaches and trainers with years of experience supporting others, or women who’ve never previously thought they were at risk of burnout, many of us are finding ourselves needing all the support we can get right now.

Acknowledging that we’re exhausted is one thing. Trouble is, most of us don’t have the luxury of noticing our exhaustion and just “stopping”. I don’t know about you but no matter how tired I am, every day brings more decision to make. They might be small ones or big ones, but you can’t avoid them.

Sometimes not making a decision has its own repercussions. Doing nothing isn’t an option!

So how do you make a decision when you’re tired?

The first thing to remember is that there really will be times when you are too burned out to decide rationally.

I remember reaching a point when my kids were small and the business was needing a lot of attention, when I was literally too tired to function. My dear friend Wendy had to come over to my house, pick me up off the floor, and run me a bath – it really was that bad.

So before you go into “fix-it” mode, take a second to get really honest with yourself. Are you at the stage where you can take some steps to get yourself in the right frame of mind? Or are you at the stage where you need to step back and get yourself back to OK – even if it means someone else takes over this decision?

We’re not always the best judges of quite how tired we are. So, to help, we’ve put together a quick quiz so you can find out where you’re at.

Find out if you’re fine, fabulous, or totally frazzled here.

Still with me?

Great!

If you’re ready to make the decision, and just need some help to do so confidently and without going round in circles, read on.

We’re going to get you connected to your Queen PowerType – the women’s leadership archetype who will help you make a powerful choice, and trust you’re doing so without regrets.

(Even if it feels as though you’re too tired to choose!)

Using queen to help you make decisions – even when you’re too tired to choose

Many of us when we’re tired find ourselves slipping into disempowering archetypes like Martyr, Victim or Bitch. None of those are great places to make decisions from!

As you can imagine, when you’re in Victim mode you’ll tend to think there’s no point. Martyr will default to taking on more and more things. And Bitch will choose a course of action just to prove the other person wrong, or make a point – not always something you’ll look back on with pride.

So, when you’ve identified a decision you need to make, but you feel to tired to choose wisely, try and clear some space.

Find as much time as you can to allow yourself to consciously choose a different way of leading.

You’re going to connect to the “Queen” PowerType. She’s the part of you that’s calm, gracious, and utterly confident in her own abilities.

Queen knows she can’t make decisions alone, so she’s never afraid to ask for help when she needs it and make sure she doesn’t feel overwhelmed.

If you find connecting to your Queen difficult, you might find you often doubt yourself, see asking for support as weak, or worry what others will think of a decision. If you’re too tired to choose, this can keep you stuck in “analysis paralysis” – unable to move forward.

Try some of these ways to shift your energy and connect to your inner Queen…

  • Set a clear container. If you’re finding yourself overwhelmed, it might be because you’re trying to do too many things at once. Take some time to identify the ONE choice that’s critical for you to make. Work out how much time you have to make it, and what your options are. Now, start to access your inner “Queen”.
  • Dress the part. Lots of ladies in our community find jewellery is a powerful way to help them connect to this energy. You might not have a crown to hand – but could a treasured piece of jewellery remind you of your grace and authority?
  • Music is one of the most powerful ways to change your state. What song makes you feel powerful, unstoppable, confident? If you have trouble finding one, pop in to the BeOne community and ask for tips.
  • Ask for help. The Queen insists on having full information before she chooses. If you need some more details, or want advice on how best to proceed, take your time and ask for it – calmly and without guilt. When you have those resources, trust your instinct and choose.
  • Say no. If you tend to be the one who always helps everyone, you might struggle with a decision when it might mean letting someone down. Sometimes, that’s the kindest thing to do for your own wellbeing. Is this one of those times?
  • Say yes. If you lack confidence or feel like an imposter, it ca be hard to trust that you’re capable and competent. Is this a time when you need to find the courage to say yes – and trust that you’re able to handle what comes next?

Most of all? Trust

Queen trusts herself to make the best decision she can – even if, in the moment, it doesn’t feel as though there’s an ideal option. Part of making a wise choice involves trusting, deeply, that whatever happens you will be able to respond appropriately.

When your energy is replenished, you always have the option to change course.

Which leads me to my next point…

Replenish your energy (we can help!)

It’s really important not to ignore this. When you’ve made your decision, it’s absolutely critical that you prioritise your replenishment. Not “When I’ve got everything done!”  – actually make time for it. Schedule in some time to yourself, ask your partner to give you some space, rally the support you need.

If you’re ready to tackle your emotional exhaustion in a fun, gentle and supportive community – here’s something just for you.

We’re hosting a 6 day online journey to help you renew your energy and restore your passion. If you’re too tired to choose – this will help!

It’s happening 20-25 September, and registration will open on Thursday 16th. To make sure you hear when doors open, join the BeOne Global Community and we’ll send you all the details you need.

We believe real leadership is less about skill, and more about having a well of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength to draw on. Every week we support thousands of grassroots leaders globally with our free articles, videos and online trainings with powerful tools and methodologies created BY women FOR women.

Become One of many™ women creating strong, meaningful connections in our community. Click here to join the BeOne community and share your thoughts.

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Joanna Martin
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