Catherine Watkin, Author at One of Many

Whether you’re in business selling a service or product, are raising money for a cause close to your heart, or just want to “sell” a new idea to your romantic partner or your boss, there are always times when the ability to guide and influence others is an important tool in your toolkit.

But if you are like most of the clients I work with then it may that you struggle with the whole idea of “sales” , maybe feeling uncomfortable about the idea of “influencing” or needing to “manipulate” other people to your way of thinking.

And there’s a good reason for that. You see, if you’re a member of the One of many Community then chances are the reason you are “selling” your product, idea or vision is because you feel called to make a difference to others, or to the wider world, through the work that you do or the impact you want to make.

In other words: You care

Yet the very fact that you care so much can itself be a block to you getting that message out confidently enough to make the difference you know you’re here to make.

For the rest of this article I’m going to refer to small business owners and their clients because this is the group of people I know best, and who I spend my life serving. But what I talk about applies just as well to anything you’re selling – whether that’s a product, a service, a business opportunity, an idea or a vision.

And the question I’m asking today is:

Why IS sales so difficult when you care?

This is a tricky one, because after all, when we really care about our clients and want the best for them then of course we do want them to make that decision to work with us because if they don’t we can’t help them make the change they so badly want – and we don’t get to make our difference in the world

But the very fact that we do care so much makes sales so much more difficult than it could be.

After all, it’s not just about learning a structure is it?

In fact, if it was as easy as teaching the “how to” I wouldn’t even have a business! My clients would have all gone and got themselves some good, old-fashioned traditional sales training a long time ago and be off merrily “closing sales”, “handling objections” and filling up their diaries – long before they ever come across me.

But they don’t. Because really it’s about all the other “stuff”

By stuff I mean:

A deep-seated suspicion that sales is inherently manipulative, and that’s the last thing you want to do to people you care about
Feeling drawn to want to help people regardless of whether it’s because you’ve just taken their money off them
Feeling conflicted about whether it’s even OK to charge money for helping people – doesn’t that make you a “bad” person?
Fear of coming across as pushy because you only want what’s best for people and so you’d be mortified if anyone thought you were just out for your own gain.
Not valuing your work enough to charge what you are worth or have confident conversations to invite people to work with you. Because if you don’t believe in it yourself it’s hard to sell it with integrity and integrity is important to you.

And I could go on ….

The problem is that allowing all this stuff to get in the way means that you are not making a difference to as many people as you could. This isn’t good for your business, and it’s definitely not good for the people you could be helping and impacting.

So here’s what you can do to make the process of sales feel more authentic and more aligned with your caring intentions.

1. Shift your focus on to the client

To help you come at sales from a place of caring one of the most valuable things you can do it get absolutely crystal clear about your “ideal client”. Understand his or her pain, problems, desires, fears and emotions in as much detail as you can. When you do this you can’t help form an emotional connection to them. This means you to come to your sales conversations with a fierce desire to help the client, and a focus on what’s best for them (rather than what’s in it for you). When this happens something shifts and guiding someone to a decision to make a change becomes part of how you impact them – not the uncomfortable bit you’ve somehow got to get past before the “real” work can begin.

2. Connect with the value

Feeling under pressure to sell is particularly difficult if deep down you are not convinced of the value of the thing you are offering. Your inner voices might whisper “Is it really worth this much?”, “What if I can’t guarantee a result?”, “Am I really good enough to be doing this?” The truth is that if you don’t 100% believe in what you’re offering then you can’t sell it with conviction or integrity. So it’s important to do the work to connect to your value. This might be keeping a special journal where you record your success stories. Maybe even working for free with a couple of people to prove to yourself that you really are great at this. (There’s nothing wrong with this – it’s how I got started – just don’t do it for too long!).

3. Communicate that value

It’s possible to be absolutely convinced about the amazing transformation you can help your clients to achieve and know that this work is worth every penny of your fees, yet somehow still fail to communicate that to your potential client. When you struggle to articulate this difference then it’s too easy to fall back on trying to cajole, convince and push people to see what you are seeing so clearly. And this feels uncomfortable for everyone. It’s really worth taking some time out to work on communicating the value of what you offer in a way that your client will be able to clearly see for themselves why working with you will be such a good thing to do. When that happens there’s no need to work hard to convince anyone – instead you’ll hear an excited “yes please!”.

4. Follow a structure.

Without a clear structure it’s very hard to take the potential client on a conversational journey that ends with a clear decision to say yes to working with you. Without a structure you can end up in a meandering conversation without a clear focus – this is great for building relationships and hanging out with friends, but not so great when you care about making a difference to others and want them to make a commitment to change.A structure to your sales conversation is what gives you the confidence to be authentic, and to blend in your intuition and compassion. After all it’s not enough that you care about the client – they have to feel that you care too. If you want to get started having authentic sales conversations you can get started with this short video training “The 7 Steps to Yes!” here.

Get comfortable in sales conversations

Finally, here are some ideas to get you started having sales conversations that feel more authentic and comfortable – especially when you care:

Schedule some research calls with people who fit your client profile and interview them to help you better understand the problems and challenges that they are facing and they language they use to talk about them, and to help you feel more emotionally connected to the people you want to help.
Buy a beautiful notebook and start using it to capture all the evidence that you really are brilliant at what you do – testimonials, success stories, passing comments from clients etc.
Write a list of the 10 ways that someone’s life could change for the better as a result of working with you
Reach out to follow up with a potential client to give them a gentle nudge to go ahead and work with you – and do it because you care about them, not because you want the sale
Follow a structure so that you can start to feel a greater sense control around your sales conversations.

Learn how to sell with integrity

And if you’d like to take an even deeper dive into how to sell in ways that don’t involve using pushy or manipulative practices then you will love this live session I’ll be doing with Joanna Martin, One of many’s inspiring leader and founder next week:

Harnessing the Women’s PowerTypes to Sell with Integrity
Live Session: Friday 25th September at 12.00pm (UK)

During this live session we’ll be chatting about why traditional sales methods often don’t work for women and how by taking a new softer approach, and harnessing the strengths of the Women’s PowerTypes you can revolutionise both your enjoyment of sales and your results. We’d love you to join us!

Click here for more details and to register.

About Catherine

Catherine Watkin works with heart-centred business owners like you, who want a great business but don’t want to compromise their integrity. She helps you get more clients saying “Yes Please!” in a way that feels authentic, comfortable and is always in alignment with your values. Catherine believes in sales and marketing that comes from service not selfishness, from caring not coercion, and from love instead of lack.

When I teach heart-centred business owners how to sell in a way that feels authentic and comfortable, they are often amazed at how smooth and easy the whole process becomes. Yes, even those conversations that used to feel so awkward and clunky become something you to look forward to!

But what my clients also find is that learning to sell from the heart doesn’t only improve their business — it improves their whole life.

After all, another good word for sales (and maybe one that doesn’t conjure up such icky pictures of sleazy salesmen in cheap suits) is “enrolment”.

Just think about it, how often in your daily life do you find yourself wanting to enrol someone else in your vision?

Sure, it may be enrolling your potential client in the vision of how different their life could be after working with you.

But it might be enrolling a spouse or partner into a shared vision of a future that you can work towards together. Or enrolling your boss in the idea of allowing you to switch to part-time working hours so you can pursue an interest your heart is calling you to.

The thing is, very often, getting what we want in life does require the involvement of other people.

For so many women the first hurdle is to learn to ask for what we need in the first place. But then when we do that it can so easily backfire because it’s too easy to come across as though you are just in it for the money.

You see, nobody likes getting pushed into doing something they don’t want to just because it suits your agenda – whether that’s buying your product, or taking the kids to the cinema for the afternoon so you can have some pampering time. When we put the focus only on what we want – on what is best for us without regard for the other person – we end up cajoling and browbeating and pushing the other person away, and then nobody gets what they want.

But if you can learn to implement some of these key principles from heart-centred sales you will find that those interactions go so much more smoothly:

1. Connection

Before you enter the conversation, connect deeply with the reason you are asking and with the person you are asking. The truth is that you can never “make” someone do something to suit your agenda. But if you can truly connect with them you will start to see the world through their eyes – and when you do you can often find a common way, a way where both of you gain, even where before it looked like you were on opposite sides of a chasm.

2. Value

The magic question to use here is “What’s in it for me?” – not for you personally, but for the other person. What is the value to the other person of saying yes to you? To do this, you need to be able to put what’s best for them high on the agenda. The more you understand what your client (or your husband or boss) really wants, the easier it is for you to show how they can get that by saying yes to you, and then you both get what you want.

3. Lower Resistance

In any interaction where the other person suspects that you might just be out for yourself, they often have their energetic defences right up. I always imagine those plastic riot shields that the police use. Nobody is going to agree to something if they are using all of their energy to defend themselves against you. So rather than be tempted to browbeat, work on lowering this resistance.

One very powerful way to do this is to tell them straight up that you are not going to be forcing them to make a decision, and it will be OK with you if they say no – but you would like them to seriously consider what you have to say.

Another is to make sure you have their permission and full attention. Don’t just walk up to someone and launch in to your agenda with any warning, instead ask them:

“It sounds to me like my work could really help you, is it OK with you if I tell you a little more about my programmes?”

4. Follow a Structure

A good structure is pure gold in a sales conversation — it gives the conversation focus and makes sure it actually has a clear outcome. Similarly, if you want to have an important conversation with your partner about you giving up work to go back to college, don’t just leap in and blurt stuff out – it’s not likely to go well. Instead, plan it in advance. Know how you will guide the conversation to make sure that you cover all the right things in the right order so that you can demonstrate the value, lower resistance, and guide the conversation to a decision that works for both of you.

When you apply some of these principles you’ll be amazed at how much smoother and easier those conversations feel for everyone involved. My invitation to you? Try at least one of these principles out in the coming week, and let me know how it goes in the comments!

Want to learn more?

Would you like to learn more about how to have heart-centred sales conversations without being pushy or manipulative? Then join me for this online training on Wednesday 23^rd September at 7.00pm!

Click here to join us for the webinar

(Guest Post) Why is sales so difficult when you care?