Those of us who have experienced a perfect moment of self awareness know that this is when things flow. The answers to our life’s questions suddenly become self-explanatory, and opportunities appear seemingly out of nowhere.
Yet life has a habit of boxing in our unique self. When we are switching between the many hats wear; business women, wives, mums, carers, peace makers or campaigners, we can lose ourselves. Who we are as unique human beings, in our heart of hearts, is all too often left unrealised.
I invite you to come on a little journey with me today, in search of the most precious part of you. Even if neglected or forgotten, it’s there, patiently waiting for you to reach out to it. So let me share with you the 8 tips I draw upon every time I feel like I’m losing my unique self in the mayhem of everyday life.
- Go back to basics. Focus on what always gets you going. Make a list of activities that liberate the real you. What can you do to tap into that energy more often?
- Think of three unconventional events in your life that happened as a result of your own action(s). Remember how you felt at the time of taking that action: exhilarated? scared? determined? rebellious? playful? Bring those feelings back and experience them again. Also, look at the three adventures from the perspective of what came after. Consider how those events changed you, how you grew as a result. Would you be somebody else today if they didn’t happen?
- Make a list of five of your favourite books, pieces of music, films and paintings. What do they tell you about your artistic tastes, your dreams and longings? Think of ways you could tap into this creative energy and express your inner world more fully. Can you do that through a different medium than perhaps you are naturally used to.
- Think of five people who inspire you the most. How could you spend more time around them (if alive and within your network), or with their ideas? This may seem counter intuitive at first: how the hell is following someone’s steps or getting immersed in their ideas supposed to help unleash your uniqueness?! From experience, getting closer to your Unique Self is often a consequence of “falling in love” with someone else’s authenticity and using this energy to explore your own values, beliefs and qualities that make you stand out.
- Give your Unique Self a name which means something special to you. Mine is Moorita, a Spanish sounding word I’d never heard before (apparently can be translated as “little Arabic girl” that came to me very unexpectedly during a guided meditation session.) It has since become the name of my burlesque persona and, later, a name of my inner goddess of wisdom. Give it a symbol or anchor – mine is a rose quartz heart given to me by a close friend on a beautiful evening. It reminds me to “honour my Divinity”. Make this second identity an exciting secret, and take time to connect with her on a regular basis. Don’t be surprised if the name itself, or the meaning of it changes as your life takes new turns.
- Create a mantra/mission statement about your Unique Self to read every morning, e.g. “I respect and honour my originality, it puts me in a place where I can accomplish anything I set out to and make the kind of dent in the world no one else is capable of”. You can also carry it around on a piece of paper in your wallet or in a secret pocket of your handbag to take out and check in with throughout the day.
- Think of simple ways of expressing your taste and uniqueness in everyday life: take more notice of accessories you wear, the way your home, and particularly your workspace, should look and feel like to be more “you”. Don’t compromise. You’ll be surprised how little things that reflect the real you can make an unexpected difference in how grounded and happy you feel on a daily basis.
- Seek places, environments and groups of people that empower and encourage your uniqueness. If you’ve been to the One Woman Conference, you know exactly what I’m talking about (if you haven’t, book your ticket now!). Seeking to express my own uniqueness, and wanting to help others find their own, was one of the key reasons why I started Unconventional Convention. I created a night out combining excellent content (think TED) with edgy entertainment (think Burning Man). I’m uplifted by the number of initiatives and tribes getting together in the name of supporting one another to stay true to who we really are. Perhaps it’s time to start your own?
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