Enjoy this guest blog from one of my good friends Tara Marino.
Are there are decisions that you made years ago that aren’t serving you anymore? Maybe you decided on a specific career or maybe you wanted to live somewhere or own a certain house? Maybe you wanted to start a particular type of business or you made a decision about a program or package you offered in your business? And you DID it! You said YES to it…but now something has changed and the ‘thing’ you wanted doesn’t do it for you any more…and maybe you feel trapped.
You might be afraid to make a new decision because you’re scared what people will think if you change your mind. Or maybe you judge your old decision as wrong and you are afraid to make another decision that might be “wrong”. Possibly the old decision brought you “success” and you are afraid if you follow your heart it you will lose your association with that success?
When you hold onto to old decisions you get stuck inside a vicious cycle of self-doubt, overwhelm and CLOSED opportunities.
It can feel scary to let go of something that is no longer serving you… Something that at one point you may have really desired.
Let me explain…
6 Years ago my family and I moved to France, I used to dream about walking the boys to their French school and hearing them speak French to each other. And we did it! It was fabulous for us, until we needed to make a new decision!
Last year we took our boys out of school and they took their classes online so they could travel around the world. We spent 2 months in Italy, 3 months in the states and one month on a sailboat in Greece. This was a HUGE decision for us and I was scared…
Scared to make a mistake, scared what people would think…and ultimately I had a choice. I sat with myself and asked some very powerful questions which I will share with you in just a minute.
So What Happens?
When we allow ourselves to be trapped in decisions we have made in the past we create a sense of overwhelm. We are actually HOLDING on to something that is no longer in alignment for us. Feel this for a minute; you may be able to feel this in your body. It feels heavy, suffocating at times and even like a burden.
It is overwhelming to keep these decisions when they no longer serve us.
So Why Do We Do It?
Women feel so much pressure in their lives to get it right, to be a good mom, a good business woman, a good wife, have an amazing body the list goes on and on. We feel an incredible amount of pressure to make sure we get it right, because let’s be real we know we don’t have any extra time to get it wrong! To do lists run most women’s days, with an endless list of checkboxes that never get completed, women fall into bed at night exhausted, overwhelmed and many times unfulfilled.
Women are also afraid that if they change their mind or require a different direction that they have somehow failed. They fear that they must have made a mistake and that their original decision was WRONG.
This Is Simply Not True!
Until women decide to allow things to be different in their life, until they really take clear inventory of what’s no longer working, they will continue to be stuck inside of decisions they made years ago.
What Is The Negative Result of Being Trapped Inside Of Decisions?
When you hold onto old decisions you create an accumulation effect of energy that is no longer serving you, it feels heavy. Sluggish and even paralyzing. When you are in this space you have NO ROOM to open to new opportunities. In effect you have closed your ability to RECEIVE. This means you have no space to open up to the opportunities that are calling you forward into the next version of who you are.
It takes a lot of courage to admit this to yourself. It isn’t always easy, but the freedom and liberation that follows gifts you something very special.
It allows you to feel ALIVE, connected with your life and gives you energy to move forward in your life authentically.
Here is a new process and a NEW Paradigm for making decisions as a woman
7 Step Authentic Decision Making Process
Instead of holding on to the old way of making a decision I invite you to try a NEW way.
Next time you find that you are desiring something new inside, that you are called to make a new decision or shift, give yourself permission to follow that desire with the following insight and self-compassion.
- You have made a decision and followed a desire (bravo!)
- Then one day, that desire is no longer in service of you. You have grown and evolved through it. You have outgrown it! Your personal life experience is no longer seeking that.
- Now you are seeking something different. You admit to yourself “I don’t want this anymore”
- CELEBRATE YOUR GROWTH. It is time to let go of the old decision and see it as a form of success, not failure!
- Ask a NEW question, instead of asking what is the “right” decision. Instead ask “What is it that is in alignment with my highest good AT THIS PARTICULAR LIFE STAGE. (This is crucial and detaches you from making a “right” decision that will serve you 50 years from now and gives you permission to make a decision that serves your highest good given where you are now.
- Make the new decision and move into your next life stage
- Rinse and Repeat
Think about how you may be stuck inside of decisions you made years ago.
Make a list: What is it that you have “decided”, that may no longer be working for you?
Think about: the beliefs you hold about yourself, the place you live, and the relationship you’re in, the habits, etc.
Choose one that is a priority for you in your life
Let Go of a decision that is no longer serving you
Give yourself the Freedom to LIVE the way you desire, the life that truly reflects YOU right now.
“Live You Fully”
Being pregnant I am feeling the need to take care of myself more than ever. Seriously. I’m needing 10 hours sleep a night. I can’t sit for more than 30 minutes already! It’s nuts. So I’ve done a little something for myself and I want to share it with you…
I realised recently how great Tara is at taking care of herself first. Something we talk about heaps in One of many. Something I endeavour to do well. But I have to say pregnant, toddler, plus 3 businesses- it’s never easy. So I’m up for every bit of help I can.
Tara is doing this awesome challenge right now called “Live you fully” and I’m thoroughly enjoying it. I noticed a bunch of my Facebook friends in there already. If you know you could do a better job of taking care of you, come and join us. And meet one of my newest, yet I know she will become one of my oldest… friends.
Tara Marino has committed to living a Beautiful Life no matter the circumstances.
At the age of 25 she lost her first-born son… And after a year of heartache, depression, anger, Xanax and red wine, she had a choice. Stay in resentment… Or choose life. She chose life.
That pain assisted her in creating the FemmeTypes, an internal technology that assists women in realizing their full potential while receiving their beautiful life.
Her company, Elegant Femme, assists women around the world to live a life full of beauty, travel and soul.
Her most recent endeavor was the creation of her fashion line Tara Paris, which debuted last February with a fashion show in Paris… And she received a standing ovation from the Parisian press.
Her and her husband of 15 years, and their 2 boys live in Paris. And last year they decided to homeschool their children so they can assist their children in the “live you fully” experience. Up next sailing around the world 😉