After eleven years living in the UK, I’ve just landed back in Australia with my family.
Business continues as normal in ol’ Blighty, I’ll be back plenty, but family wise this is becoming home.
But right now – the suitcases aren’t unpacked, the kids are jet-lagged, and my nervous system feels like it’s somewhere between Heathrow and Hobart.
And as I sit here with a cup of tea, surrounded by an explosion of dirty laundry, teddy bears and plastic airport bags of toiletries yet to be reconciled with the rest, I can feel that familiar temptation rise.
Right. Let’s get organised. Sort the suitcases. Answer emails. Catch up on everything I’ve missed.
But this time, I’m doing something different. And it’s the one thing I used to resist the most.
I’m stopping.
Because I’ve learned (the hard way) that you can’t pour from empty, and you were never meant to.
For years, I thought self-care meant squeezing in a massage after I’d hit my goals.
A reward for productivity.
A patch-up job for exhaustion.
But true care, the kind that replenishes your life-force, doesn’t happen after you’ve earned it.
It happens when you decide your needs are non-negotiable.
That decision can feel uncomfortable at first. Especially for women who’ve spent their lives being the strong one. The capable one. The one everyone depends on.
But when you start meeting your needs, everything else changes.
You stop leading from depletion.
You stop parenting from guilt.
You stop loving from duty.
You start living from presence.
So today, whether you’re unpacking boxes or simply holding too much, here are five gentle ways to look after your needs – without the guilt.
1. Ask your body first.
Before you ask, “What needs doing?”, try asking, “What do I need?”
Your body is wiser than your to-do list. Maybe it wants movement. Maybe it wants stillness. Listening to it is the beginning of real self-care.
2. Redefine rest as responsibility.
Rest isn’t indulgent, it’s intelligent. It’s what allows you to make clear decisions and show up in your power. Schedule it like a meeting with your future self.
3. Choose nourishment over numbing.
When we’re tired, it’s easy to reach for sugar, wine, or scrolling. But what you really crave is comfort. Ask, “What would truly nourish me right now?” and follow that instinct.
4. Let yourself receive.
Superwoman wants to do it all herself. The Queen allows support. Whether it’s asking a friend to bring dinner, or saying yes when help is offered, practice receiving as an act of strength.
5. Celebrate the pause.
You don’t have to earn your rest by finishing everything. Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is nothing at all. In stillness, your next right action reveals itself.
If you’re feeling stretched thin right now, if the thought of “taking time for yourself” feels impossible, let me send you something that helps.
It’s called the Overwhelm First Aid Kit, and it’s a short, practical guide to help you calm your nervous system, reset your energy, and take your next step from a place of steadiness, not stress.
Because you don’t need to push harder.
You just need to pause and remember that you matter too.
Get your free Overwhelm First Aid Kit
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Author of the Amazon best-selling book, Superwoman: Escaping the Myth, she has explored the hidden pressures women face in leadership and offers a roadmap to sustainable success without burnout.
As the founder of One of many, a global community supporting women in leadership, she is committed to equipping leaders with the tools they need to create sustainable impact, without compromising well-being. Her work integrates neuroscience, behavioural psychology, and emotional intelligence to help individuals lead with confidence and authenticity.
Dr. Joanna's insights have been featured in major media outlets, and she is a renowned speaker on leadership, resilience, and high-performance coaching. When she’s not speaking or coaching, Dr. Joanna enjoys exploring new research in human potential, spending time with her family, and championing initiatives that support women in leadership worldwide.
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