What does Bernadette Doyle mean when she says she’s a “recovering Lone Ranger”?
It’s that place you go to, when you’re fed up with everything, and you decide if you want it done, you just have to do it all yourself. Whether it’s starting that business, running that family, organising the school fair…why, because you think no one else will do it right, as well, or at all.
Support…pppphhhwww! What’s that, I hear you scream!
Bernadette Doyle (one of our Soft Power Summit interviewees) has been there and felt that. So we decided to learn more about her in this week’s “One of Many Voices” Blog.
Give us the big “why” you do what you do?
I’m here to help world class healers and leaders take their place on the global stage, with a business model that is scalable and enables them to reach large numbers of global clients without burnout. I do that on bernadettedoyle.com.
What did being a Lone Ranger mean to you?
I think every self-employed person has a little ‘lone ranger’ in them as it’s necessary to break free of employee mindset and have the guts to go it alone. my mantra used to be ‘if it’s gonna be, it’s up to me’. this is helpful to get you started, but as your business grows, thinking like this becomes a liability as it will really get in the way of effective delegation.
What was the catalyst for your change?
Probably when I was expecting my second son. I knew how much I would want to focus on him in the first few months after he was born, so I systematised and delegated like never before.
Where did you turn for support?
I had a really incredible VA, with exceptional project management skills, so she was a star on the team. But letting go is about more than having practical help. I also needed to deal with the fears that came up as I surrendered control, and I had coaches and other personal development trainers ‘on my team’ to assist me through this. I’m still not ‘there’. I have a very strong independent streak, but I’ve learned to accept that as part of who I am.
How else does “support” show up in your life, give us a normal day in the life of you, and how soft play features as a self-support…
During school terms my day starts with the school run with my two sons, aged 7 and 8. Then I like to get to the gym for a crossfit session. I also enjoy bikram yoga. Mondays are the days I do group coaching calls, the rest of the week it’s a case of working on whatever project is ‘up’ at that moment.
One of my fave evening routines is an aromatherapy and Epsom salts bath. I love, love, love early nights which allow me to get 9-10 hours sleep. I’ve been using a misfit shine to help with this and it has been life changing. I also love a good box set – have been really enjoying Scandal.
I also make sure I have plenty of unscheduled time for reflection and mooching.
How do you feel about women’s “lot” these days?
Ever since my eldest was young I have been huge on having strong systems in place at home and in the business to make life easier. I do think women have more life responsibilities, there’s that quote ‘Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it backwards and wearing high heels’. Do I think that women have more to juggle than men? Well yes quite frankly, but I don’t see the point in complaining about it, just get better organized and get on with it.
Do you think you people around you (on social media, and face to face) understand who your authentically are?
Well that’s an interesting question because I worked with a coach last year who told me emphatically that who I am in person is not reflected on social media. She told me I was funnier and quirkier in person than I show up in social media. Maybe I should tell more dirty jokes on facebook.
How important do you think vulnerability is in life and career?
I’m usually the first person to cry when leading my events! Last week I lead a group and we did a healing process and I did it with them, the group told me that my willingness to be vulnerable as a leader was inspiring to them.
How do you think tapping into your femininity (playing to your strengths as a woman), would impact your relationships with men?
Definitely I think it does. I don’t agree with all of her advice but I think Laura Doyle, author of the Surrendered Wife (and no relation!) has some very helpful suggestions in this area.
Do you exercise your #righttobesoft in your workplace? If so, how?
When working ‘on’ the business, I think most people who work with me would describe me as direct and results oriented. So much more masculine in work style than feminine. But when leading transformational workshops my leadership and coaching style is very feminine.
Who do you look up to as a woman?
What do you tell yourself when times are tough (what’s your mantra)?
I wouldn’t be in this situation if God doubted my ability to handle it, so it’s time to grow bigger than the problem.
What’s the soundtrack of inspiration for you? (your most uplifting, or inspiring song).
By Your Side, by Sade
Who have you listened to lately that motivated you to take action on something, anything? And why?
Oh I love E-Squared by Pam Grout
What are you doing to help elevate the women of developing nations?
I donate loans through Kiva.
You can get in touch with Bernadette Doyle:
Twitter handle: www.twitter.com/bernadettedoyle
Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/Doyle.Bernadette
You might also like to read...
- The practise of devoted listening - December 1, 2023
- Navigating your financial wellness: 4 nervous system techniques - November 29, 2023
- What is peace really? - November 17, 2023