Your bad habits aren’t a willpower problem

I want to talk to you about your bad habits, and why they never seem to budge no matter how much willpower you throw at them.

Here's the thing nobody told you, it's not about willpower at all. It's about your needs.

Why willpower was never the problem

We all have a category of things we require just to be okay. Water. Proper, nutritious food. Enough sleep. A bit of time alone. Real connection. These aren't nice-to-haves, they're needs, and you know they're needs because without them, you're simply not okay.

Think of it like a bucket. When your needs are met, the bucket's full, and you're sitting comfortably at okay.

But most of us aren't sitting at okay. We're running on too little sleep, skipping meals, going days without a real conversation, and instead of dealing with any of that, we reach for something else to fill the gap. A glass of wine. A block of cheese eaten standing at the kitchen counter. An hour of doom-scrolling in bed.

What actually causes a bad habit

Some of you will tell me chocolate is a need. It isn't. It's a desire, and desires are lovely, right up until you're using them to paper over a need that's gone unmet for days. That's exactly where bad habits come from. Not weak willpower. An unmet need, dressed up as a craving.

But when your needs are met and your bucket's full, adding a few desires on top, a square of dark chocolate, a good glass of wine, doesn't create a bad habit at all. It creates enjoyment. Same chocolate, same wine. Completely different outcome, because the foundation underneath it is solid.

So the real problem isn't your discipline. It's that most of us don't actually know what our needs are. And if you don't know what you need, how are you supposed to look after it, every single day?

You're not the only one who finds this hard

I see this constantly in our community, women who've done years of work on themselves and still find this hard. One of our members put it better than I could:

"My psychological and relationship needs might as well have been hidden on the moon."

She'd done retreats, programmes, and worked with four different coaches, and she still needed someone to sit with her and ask the questions out loud before she could name what she needed. That's not a failure. That's how disconnected we can get from ourselves after years of running on empty. 

A practical way to work this out

If any of this sounds familiar, if you know you're not getting what you need and you keep landing back in the same bad habits, I built something for exactly this.

It's called The Needs Creed™, a live two-hour workshop, Thursday 30 July, 9am London / 6pm Melbourne, where we work out, properly and practically, what you actually need to be okay. Not brilliant. Not endlessly capable. Just okay.

You'll leave with your own Needs Creed, something real you'll actually use, not another PDF to file away. Plus your Women's PowerTypes™ Profile, the full workbook, and lifetime access to the recording, so nothing's wasted even if the day itself doesn't work out.

Reserve your spot →

Come and find out what you actually need. Not so you can be more productive. So you can stop running on empty, and start showing up as yourself again.