Sundy Gilchrist is almost a celebrity in the One of Many Voices forum. She shares her vulnerabilities, and tells how she believes receiving is the new giving!
How do you fill your days?
I am a Love and Relationship Coach, helping women, through programmes and coaching, to Relight the Delight in their love relationship with their man. I just love seeing women fall in love with their man again, no matter how long they have been together!
Give us the big “why” you do what you do?
Without harmony in my relationships, especially my closest and most intimate one with my man, I feel like I am distracted from other areas in my life. There is a feeling of disharmony which affects my capacity and ‘sucks’ my energy for the other areas of my life such as work, leisure, self care, nutrition etc. I feel I am not alone in this and that there are many women who yearn to have a close, harmonious, supportive and loving relationship with their man, for its own sake, and for the energy it brings to other areas of our lives.
My purpose is to support women to feel fulfilled before they leave this lifetime. Part of that is feeling fulfilled in their relationship with their man.
How does #softpower feature in your life?
Main thing? I’ve slowed down.
I am amazed at how slowing down has transformed my life. It’s allowed me to be more present in the moment, responsive to the ‘need’ in that moment and to surrender to flow.
I’m intuitive and learning daily to listen to the information that is in me, that stuff I knew when I was a child, that inherent wisdom.
I practice receiving……receiving is the new giving……with grace and appreciation
Do you spend more time doing life administration than you care to? What does a “women’s lot” look like to you?
I’ve switched this around now. I’ve downsized living space, minimised consumption, have no TV so I can live my life instead of watching others living theirs. I buy services now that others love to do and I don’t so much. I look to minimise my impact on the planet and her resources. On the whole I am less attached to being busy and having things ‘just so’. And it is a work in progress……
How do you juggle your relationship and business ?
I don’t think I do.
I don’t segment my day into defined slots so much, so I am more in flow.
Juggling to me looks like things might get ‘dropped’
I have a sweet relationship with Stephen. It does flow. He does his thing and I do mine. He is on a growth journey too – different to me, obviously, as he is a man and I am a woman. My growth is feeling based, his, as I understand it, is mind based. We share a lot and I have learnt that he is not my all.
We joke, half seriously, that we primarily love ourselves more than the other……
I have recently learned to ‘ask for permission’ to be on technology when we are together. I will look to take the cue if he is doing something too.
What’s the most common emotion you think the man that is closest to you feels each day?
How important do you think vulnerability is in life and career?
Vulnerability is my key to connection. I have always, since small, intuitively known this.
Recently I was at a family event where I was uncomfy and still showed up. Some family members speaking to me, other ignoring me. Excruciating at times. The reason? To keep connected to my loved ones. I am seeing I sometimes mix up vulnerability and openness with doormat. I’m learning and practicing creating boundaries.
What do you do for SoftPlay?
I love being outside so cycling and walking play a big part in my life.
I can now stop in a moment and notice nature – a sort of mini meditation……
Singing in the car
Women’s circle stuff – sharing, dancing, making things
Beauty treatments – pedicures, manicures and facials
Coffee and cake shops
My healing treatments – massage, reflexology etc,,..
What’s one “breakthrough” you have had in your life, that shifted the way you saw things – how did it impact those around you?
So many to choose from!
The start of my internal inquiry journey………
I ‘reviewed’ my relationship with my father, which had enormous consequences to my relationship with him, to the degree I thanked him for my childhood and told him I loved him. He cried, expressed his worry for me as a child (he had bullied, hit and shouted at me a lot) and I was able to reassure me he had done a great job and I am the woman I am due to him and the things he got me to do. I love him.
So I got complete with my dad, which allows me to love all men and have an amazing marriage.
Where do you look for hope? (what are your sources of inspirations?)
People offering solutions…….
People who say to me- that sounds great, tell me more…..
What’s your mantra?
There is a reason for what I am attracting right now. What’s the learning in this. What can I celebrate, this is meant to be, everything is working perfectly in all its imperfections…….
What’s the soundtrack of inspiration for you?
Carly Simon, Touched by the Sun.
Who’s voice do you think we need to hear in the One of Many Community?
Shakti Malan: she is doing work around the Devine, sexual awakening and Goddess